boundaries with exes or lack thereof with Leandra Earl
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Okay, hi guys. Welcome back. Happy Lesbian Visibility Week. Woo!

We love lesbians. We love lesbians. We love lesbians. And I love the word lesbian. Let's make it a thing again. Okay. Is that a beat? Was that a song? Did I just drop a new song for Lesbian Visibility Week? No. It was bad. Anyway. Hello.

I am currently in bed. It is the night before the episode comes out. It's like 10 p.m. I have begun to procrastinate the intros of this podcast more and more as I've gotten better at editing and like uploading. I'm like, oh, I can wait till the very last second because I am a procrastinator. But currently my neighbor is blasting the new Taylor Swift album and also every once in a while seems to be accompanying the music with a saxophone. I didn't know my neighbor played the saxophone.

But apparently they do. It's very impressive. Kind of interesting. Hopefully it's not getting picked up because Miss Taylor Swift will probably copyright my ass so fast. So hopefully y'all can't hear, but it's been a treat for me. I've been having a great time listening. The episode today is filmed with Leandra Earle, who you will obviously see any second now. I filmed it when I was in Toronto. We filmed it in a coffee shop that doubles as a skate shop.

It's my friend Julie's coffee shop. And if you're ever in Toronto, I highly suggest you check it out. It's called the Brockton Haunt. And you may notice in this

I'm wearing a shirt from there. It kind of looks like a Costco logo and that's because it's a play on like a gold star, which is like a gold star membership at Costco. And then that they make that at the Brockton Haunt. So if you ever go pick up a shirt or a sweatshirt, because I think it's so funny, it's such a good idea. But yeah, so we filmed this in front of a live audience, live audience being our friends. So there are moments of hecticness. I think it would be better to watch it

But if you're just listening, I think you will also pick up on what's going on. It's pretty obvious. But at the end, we take some questions from them. So it gets a little more hectic towards the very, very end of the episode. But it's so fun. And the Patreon content for this week's episode...

Um, let's just say we all kiss Leandra. So if that's of interest to you, go check it out. It is fun. It's funny. And we had such a good time filming it. It's so nice to be around friends. And it's so nice to have like international friends like that, like a different queer group of friends in a different country. It's so cool to go and experience and like, hang out.

like that and have the week that I had last week with them. I know I'm very, very lucky and blessed to have so much lesbian community, so much queer community in general, and I'm definitely feeling super lucky this lesbian visibility week to be visible. Look at me. Stop looking at me. Okay, mental health check this week. Mental health is... It's okay. I...

I've been debating on whether or not to bring this up for lots of reasons. The episode that you're about to watch is very, really light, very light episode, super fun, super funny. And this topic in general is not super light or super funny. So I feel like there will be a huge juxtaposition between the beginning of the video and then like to the main part of the video. But it also kind of feels wrong to not mention it at all.

Especially since I am trying to be vulnerable with my mental health check-ins and I am trying to, yeah, be honest. And also I want to honor this person. So I debated on it and I think I am just going to lightly touch on it. You may have seen if you are on TikTok that...

Someone has passed away. Her name is Ava Evans. She is someone I collaborated with on a music video back in 2019 and then became friends with and remained friends with and followed each other online for all these years. And we were, I would not say we were super close friends by any means, but just to know her was to love her. She was amazing. She was such, such a talented person, like the most talented person.

The thing I remember most about meeting her the very first time I met her was that I thought she must be like so much older than me because she just had her life so together and like her outfit was so cool and she was so calm, cool and collected and poised and like well-spoken and she was producing this music video and she just knew her shit like I still don't know my shit. And this was years ago, so she was even younger then.

But yeah, she passed away this last week and I just wanted to say my condolences to her family and her friends and anyone who knew her or watched her content or loved her the way that I loved her or loved her more than I loved her. Yeah, I mean, I don't think there is a right thing to say or a good thing to say or the right best thing to say about

When it comes to grief and when it comes to loss and when it comes to losing someone so young, it's like, what do you say? But I just want to pay respect to her. And she will be so missed. It is so wrong to lose people who are so young and so talented and have so much life left to live. And my heart is broken. But yeah, nothing, obviously nothing I say will make anything feel right.

But I just wanted to say, yeah. I just wanted to pay respect to her because I think she was literally...

Oh, such a badass and I'm not gonna cry so I'm gonna move on but yep. Anyway, uh, I think it would be impossible to talk about my mental health this week without mentioning this situation because obviously it's affected me and uh, I've been very sad and just it makes you contemplate like life and love and friendship and checking in on people and all of those things. So that's kind of where I am with my mental health and just uh,

Yeah, I don't really want to go much deeper than that. So that's, I think that's okay. If you're watching this and you're struggling and you're feeling down or bad or sad or if life is overwhelming you and you don't think that you can do it for one more day, please just do it for one more day. One more day.

You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. Please, please, please, please, please, please know that you are not alone, that people love you. I love you. I want you to be here. Please, please, please, please, please just give it one more day and keep giving it one more day every day, please. Okay. I love you. How do you pivot from that? You know, it's a tough pivot. I think the only other thing

Something to celebrate and that's been really awesome this week, aside from the Lesbian Visibility Week, is how much attention lesbian artists have been getting between Coachella and Chapel Roan's new song. Renee performing, Renee bringing out the L word cast at her performance, which was just fucking sick.

I feel like it's just been a really good year for queer people and representation. And I want to celebrate that. And so I'm happy about that. And I am so, so, so happy about this episode and this guest. It's so fun to be with your friends. And it makes the episode, I think, like so light and fun. So I hope that

The beginning of this episode is a little heavy and I hope that it was, I hope that you received the message well and I hope that the next half of the video will lighten the mood and you will leave this episode feeling really happy and good. Yeah, I think that's all for my intro this week. Okay, I love you guys.

Where are the lesbians? Lesbians? Lesbians? Rise! Imagine I called you the bassist. And I'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I play bass on one song. Everyone's like, what the fuck? Are you mad that we're not in a bed? I am kind of upset we're not in a bed. We could have done it in my childhood bedroom. That would have been interesting. No, we also could have done it at their house, but this is cool. Yeah, Amy would love me in her bed. Okay.

Okay, guys, don't judge me for my intro. It's embarrassing. Okay, hi, guys. My name is Shannon Beveridge. Welcome to X's and O's, a podcast where we talk about queer relationships and sex. And today I have a very special guest. We're coming all the way from Toronto at the Brockton Haunt. And it's Leandra Earle. She is the guitarist and key player for the band The Beaches. You may know them from their song Blame My Ex.

Blame Brett. But the album. But great album. Yeah, yeah. Great album. But also you might have seen it on TikTok because Leandra is a TikTok legend. I mean, I'm no Shannon Beveridge, but you're getting there. You're better than me. You're way better than me. I'll take it. Yeah, we are in Toronto right now. That's where the beaches are from originally. It's where Leandra's from down the street.

Okay, well nobody look that up. I got enough people following me to Brockton Haunt. Not too close, but in Toronto. And we also have a live studio audience today. I'm like, I need to film it. You guys are so far away. We'll do the meet and greet after, okay? Stick around.

But yeah, we have a live audience, so if we're weird or you see us looking off camera, we're probably talking to someone who's over there. Okay, where should we start? Are you stoked? I'm so excited. I'm kind of nervous. I'm sweating a little bit. I'm sweating too, actually. I'm thinking about the post-pod poutine. Oh my god, yeah. We haven't eaten, or I haven't eaten at all today, so looking forward to that. Well, how does it feel to be the only lesbian in your gay band? Yeah.

It feels so good. I wouldn't want to share that with anyone else. And they know me and they know I wouldn't want to share that with anyone else. No, that's your thing. Has it been weird though that like, I feel like you guys have gotten such a huge queer following now. And yeah, it's definitely driven by...

Your antics online? I'm a little wild online. I'm trying to just like find the queers online. Yeah, they're there. Because I've been doing this for 11 years and like as a rock band, it's been mostly a straight male dominated kind of audience. Cool. Hey, we love. We love. I'm like, we're the queers. They're at your show though now. Yeah, they are. I just went to their show at the Troubadour in LA and there were definitely a lot of lesbians, but also a lot of straight men. That was the straightest.

Show of the whole tour Really? I was shocked Because I always do the bit Where I'm like Where are the straights? And the whole room erupted I was like Whoa quiet down I wasn't expecting that

Like, no, you guys aren't supposed to be here. Okay, well, I took pictures of y'all. I've known you now for how long? That's crazy. Five years? Four years? Yeah. How long ago was that? Was it during COVID? Yeah, it was like 2021. Okay. Because I'm thinking about that Halloween party and it was right before we went on tour with the Aces when our queer audiences started showing up to happen. Okay, you also came out.

Should we just jump into your coming out story? Let's go. Let's hear it. Let's go. I want to hear it. I'm like, yeah, the audience. Hey, why? And why isn't the live audience kind of like looking at us? Yeah. You guys are so far away. Yeah. Leanne's here now. Okay. Yeah. But do you want to share your coming out story? Because you also came out kind of later.

Yeah. For sure, right? I think I was like 25 and I'm 29 now. So it feels later. I feel like a teenager right now. Yeah. What do you call that? Like, oh my God, delayed adolescence or like whatever. I have that. Or I did. I'm like 13 right now. Yeah. I'm like finally like 26. I'm 13 going on 30. But actually. But actually. Okay. What is your coming out story? I came out in COVID also. A lot happened during COVID. Yeah.

I think it's like thinking back to my childhood. All the signs were there. Yeah. Okay. Shopping at West 49. Canadians know. Vanessa worked there. Skate shop. I've been there. Wearing just like Dickie's suits in grade five. Fuck yeah. She's like, I'm straight. Mom. Yeah. When I came out to my mom, I was like, don't you remember shopping together? She's like, I thought that was just a tomboy phase. No. Okay. But how did you not know?

I think I just shoved it so far down. Yeah. Like I can, now that I'm out and so proud of it, I can think back to like grade nine, having this first thought of like, I distinctly remember and I haven't told anyone. I may have told one person. I was just like, it doesn't really matter. I was at home like washing the dishes because I can remember. And I just remember having, having this feeling of like, I don't think I could spend the rest of my life like living with a boy, uh,

And I don't think I want a life with a boy. And then I started thinking of like, I would think I would like to live with a girl. And then like washing dishes and like having this existential like, oh my God. In like grade nine. Yeah. You're like 13, 14. How old are you in grade nine? I feel like I was maybe 14. Yeah. I was having this like mini panic attack being like, that was...

thoughts are insane. And I just shoved them. I was like, nevermind. And then just like wash the dishes. And that was the end of that. Just kept going. And that thought didn't like pop up again for like a couple of years. I just like wouldn't let it. This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Whether you're selling a little or a lot.

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But yeah, I slept with boys. They penetrated me. Okay. That sounded like something a lesbian would say. They penetrated me. But you never were like in love with a guy?

I don't know because that's a confusing part too. I lost my virginity to this guy in Scotland. Okay. And I've been talking to him for like a year and Skyping and stuff. So it was like this online relationship and I was obsessed. I liked him. And then when I got home from my Scottish deflowering, oh, I, I was like, oh, I really miss him. I really like him. Yeah.

But like, did I? I don't really think so. It was probably nice that he was long distance because then you only really had to deal with him like when you wanted to. Yeah. So you didn't probably do much of like the physical touch situation. Yeah. I mean, I did like the penetration, the penetration. But I do remember being like, is this supposed to be good? Are you supposed to enjoy this? And now you're like,

Hey, now I'm enjoying it. Yeah, I was going to say. I'm like, do I want to talk about your strap-on experience this early on in the pod? Let's get into it. No, but I do want to talk about your relationship with your ex because it's obviously super public knowledge that your band wrote a song about your ex-girlfriend. Yes.

Obviously, I have some similar experiences with songs and ex-girlfriends, but different, different completely. How has that been, like navigating that with your ex? She loves the song. We wrote it while we were still together, but we were like going through a rough patch. So we

we were kind of like arguing and I used that writing session as like a therapy session. So I was like, this is what's going on with us. And like, even though we're arguing and like not communicating properly, probably retrograde is what she would say. She's a fire sign. She's a fire sign. Um, you still have all this love for this person. You still come back to this person. And I'm like, even in the breakup, I'm still coming back to her. It's like, she's still my best friend. Um, you guys have had like kind of an on and off situation. Yeah.

Yeah, ask anyone in the audience. How's that been going, you guys? The breakup year has been kind of a little rollercoaster. How's that been going, you guys? But recently, it's really great. Yeah, and you guys are friends. Yeah. We were all just in a TikTok together. In a TikTok, she slept over that night. Perfect. That's normal stuff. That's normal stuff. Nothing happened. Yeah. Do you feel like it's hard to be friends with an ex like that? There have to be blurred lines.

Yeah, I think it's been a year of blurred lines. But recently, the breakthrough has been like... I don't think...

I don't know. Like, we have been seeing people throughout the breakup, but neither of us had really liked the other people that we were seeing. So it was always like... Didn't really matter that much. I miss you. And like, I don't like the person you're seeing. And it was just like these weird negative feelings. But I don't know if you saw the viral TikTok where her and her family came to our New York show recently. No. Nope.

Oh, no, I did see it actually. But tell us about it. I'm like, I need you to describe it for the pod. We played New York like last month and Alex and her family came to Alex is my ex. Yeah. Came to New York to see the two shows.

And this girl I'm seeing also came. And so leading up to that, like to break the news to Alex was like, I don't know, it really stressed me out because we haven't had a really good relationship with like talking about the people we're seeing. Yeah. So the whole tour is really nervous. And then I,

told her and it wasn't a great response. No? No, it's kind of the response I have always gotten with the people I've been seeing. And she was like, oh, I thought this was like our trip and we were going to enjoy New York together and blah, blah, blah. I'm like...

Like I'm seeing someone now because yeah, that's where it gets complicated. Cause you do feel, I don't know. I feel like there's like a loyalty you feel to an ex because you have spent so much time with them, but you're like, but we're not together now. So you now need to treat me like a friend and not like, that's the hard part of like feeling so guilty for some of those things. Yeah. So even me being like, I gave her a backstage pass and she's like, why did you give her a backstage pass? Like I, I have a backstage pass. I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Cause so can other people who I like, like,

I don't know, navigating the friendship was weird up until this trip. So... That's better?

Yeah, they met and they hit it off and they hung out the whole night and Alex was so sweet to her and she's just like Alex really respected her. That's so nice. And was like I see how you two are together and it's really sweet and I can see that you really care about each other and that she treats you well and I don't know. That's so nice. Really changed the narrative. Changed it up. I keep looking at Vanessa. She's like, hey girl. How are you guys doing in the audience?

Okay, audience is still doing. Look under your seats, everyone. You all get a free Brockton Haunt t-shirt. It's hot in here, huh? I'm dying. Okay. I know. I know. Okay, well, as hard as that is for like Alex and you, is it hard for the person you're seeing too? Like the new person is navigating that hard.

and the new person or kind of the relationship of Alex sleeping over sometimes. That too. Yeah. But I feel like I understand from Alex's perspective or like the ex's perspective, but like how is it dating new people? Like is the new person understanding of you? Yeah. Having that friendship. The new person does have a boyfriend. Okay. And they are open and the boyfriend knows and hey, love the boyfriend. That'll definitely change things up. Leanne, louder. Okay.

Hey. Is it... Is Toronto's gonna be like, what the fuck? Wait, do you... How does that make you feel? Uh-oh. Yeah. The audience is getting more and more... Look, these are all new waters I'm navigating. Yeah. Because I came out in, like, 2020. As soon as I came out, I started dating Alex. So it was your first girlfriend on top of it. Yeah. And probably, like, my second kiss with a girl ever was with Alex. So it was all very new to me. Yeah. And, um...

You guys? The audience is making me very nervous. Filming this for Alex. And then we were stuck in COVID. So it was like the day that I asked Alex to be my girlfriend, I also tested positive for COVID. Shut up. So we had to quarantine together for 14 days. Obviously. And it just like became so typical lesbian. Like we were living together and so in love. And then the world opened up.

And I don't know. Yeah. You're like coming out and now also like coming, like this is your first experience being out as a lesbian. Yeah. You identify as a lesbian, right? Yeah. I think that's its own struggle. I've talked to Shannon Burns about it where like the term lesbian, I think growing up was a term to like make fun of me. People would call me that to put me down. So it's really hard to, it's really hard to use that term without being like, ah,

To feel the little sting. I feel like I came out as bi, which I feel like a lot of people do. Yeah. And I thought it would be easier for my mom to... To process. Yeah. But for some reason it wasn't. She's like, pick one. Pick one. But I feel like that's a good lesson too. Because I do feel like so many people think coming out as bi first is like lessening the blow. But I feel like if anything, it just like...

I don't know Sometimes it causes confusion Yeah I think it confused My mom more So even when I got dumped A couple months ago My mom like Way after the dumping My mom was just like So now that you're not With Alex Do you think you'll Go back to guys? Yeah

This was like the day I got home from a long tour and I was like, huh? I forgot it came out as bi actually. Yeah, literally. I was like, oh yeah, I did tell you that five years ago. Things have changed. Things have changed. And so she still is like, but you were with guys. You slept with guys. What? Yeah, the math isn't mathing. Yeah, the math's not mathing. But it is mathing. The problem is like, it's just a generational thing, I think too, of like that generation not really understanding math.

Queerness. Yeah. You know? And fluidity and labels and people get so stuck on a label and then they're like, that's who you are now. Yeah. And you're like, but maybe it's not. Maybe it changes. It's even like, it's more tough lately with like me dating someone who's poly and now me seeing this new girl who's in an open relationship with her boyfriend. Like I haven't told my mom about that. No way. And unless this goes on Facebook stories, I'm not sure that she'll see. Um, so.

So right now this girl is my best friend. Oh my God. And she's so straight. Do you like, do you like the concept of being in a polyamorous relationship?

I don't really know what I want but I don't think I'm a poly person and maybe all the friends here who have heard me cry and I'm seeing some oh so all the votes are coming up not poly not poly um but I was kind of just open to anything because it's all

it's all kind of new to me and I feel like a teenager so I'm like I kind of want to flirt with everyone and I want to kiss a lot of people but also if I'm really like someone or falling in love with them I kind of just want to be with them and I want them to just be with me so it's kind of tough to not you'll have to cross that bridge huh

You're putting yourself in a little precarious situation there. Yeah. Like I just got out of a Polly thing. I don't think I was Polly. Before this. Yes. Shut up. What is happening? Okay. But actually Polly and then this is just open. Yeah. Okay. The last thing was Polly. There wasn't a lot of communication, so I don't, that wasn't great. Yeah. Also, I feel like Polly's whole thing is communication based. So maybe we're just all hooking up with each other.

I was only hooking up with one girl, but she had a primary and got it. I don't know. So new. It's all so new. I'm just a little baby boy. I don't know. Like I'm learning new things every day. Yeah. Yeah. I think I would struggle. I talked about it on this podcast, but I was like in an open thing for a little while and I hated it. Yeah. Because I felt like everything I did came from like the wrong reasons. Like I wasn't ever doing things because I genuinely wanted to.

experiment or be with other people I just wanted to be like okay we're open then I'm gonna do it so that it was like a pride thing literally just pride based like it was like if you're gonna hook up with someone I'm gonna hook up with someone and I'll do it first did you ask to be open or the other person kind of the other person yeah yeah yeah I'm learning that it never works out if you're kind of being forced to definitely you shouldn't be forced to do anything right um okay and how did that end

Not well. Not well. There's hope for us yet. But that was different too because that was like a desperation of like trying to make a relationship work. It wasn't the beginning. Like we didn't go into it open. Okay. It was like, wait, I don't want to break up yet. So let's try to be open. That's kind of how conversations were going with Alex and I in the end. Mm-hmm.

Because I was like feeling like a little teenager and I wanted to go flirt with people. Yeah, you're like having experimented. Yeah. And she's like, I have known I'm a lesbian for the past like over 10 years. Like I want to settle down. And she's good. Yeah. Which I get. And like, I felt really guilty. But I also felt like a little teenager wanting to just like go around and kiss people. I feel like that's like...

You have to just know yourself though too because it would be wrong of you to stay with someone when you know you have like experimenting or like just life you want to live alone. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's selfish to stay in a relationship when you know. Yeah. It feels selfish to break up with people but sometimes breaking up with someone is the selfless thing to do. I know and I couldn't do it. Yeah. So she did me the same version. Yeah. God bless. Your breakup is sounding a lot like my last breakup.

I did the same thing. That's literally what happened with Carrie. She would not break up with me and then I had to keep breaking up with her. She wanted to be open or do other stuff and I was like, oh my god. The breakup is like a four month song. Should we try again? No. I guess it's like a gay thing. But maybe not. Okay. Questions from the audience. One was, when is the last time you wore a bra? Leanne! You know this. I don't wear bras.

not to the microphone um if you see me wearing a shirt like a t-shirt i probably have a calvin bra underneath if i'm wearing a wife respecter no bra a wife respect i get when i take my shirt off i do get compliments that my boobs are pretty perky and pretty nice so i'm like show them off while i can fuck yeah i support you i mean i shouldn't i don't even need to wear a bra you wouldn't know if i was or wasn't how can you wear one then chafing

Sometimes it's chafed. That was so genuine. Chafing? Because if I'm sitting around my house for like a solid day just wearing pajamas, like a graphic tee, no bra, ripped open, chafed. Yeah, it does kind of hurt. Dry. I guess I like the way it looks. The flatter I possibly can be, it is like kind of the vibe. So the bra is good for that. I'm like, Kevin's here. And I'm like, shh.

Is this crazy to think like that I'm nervous around eight people watching knowing that I post this to the world. No, I'm also like I know the AC is off, but I'm sweating so much because like if they weren't here, you can't forget about the camera. I'm like, we're just chatting. I know. But now we're chatting while a whole coffee shop listens to us chat. It is. Yeah. No.

No, no. You guys are doing... No, we don't want you to leave. You guys are doing great. I love you. And also I'm thinking earlier today I went and toured venues to do this live like to a whole like audience, like a huge audience. I'm like, that's scary. Yeah, but that's kind of fun. Have you been in front of an audience before? Yeah, I did a tour called like a Love is Love tour with Rebecca Black and Miles McKenna back in like 2017. And it was kind of more like after school special vibe. It was like very like...

it's okay to be gay and if you got bullied you'll survive like it was very it was it was something so when i do this tour i definitely want it to be more like adult based and like queer women focused i want it to be like a community situation which i feel like your shows are like that too like i want people to come and meet each other and like talk to each other yeah it feels like your concerts were like that especially when you encourage the crowd to be like who's gay here it's kind

It's kind of like... I'm outing people. No, you're like queer flagging. You're like, okay. And you guys see each other there. Hot, hot. Talk to each other. I think my dream would be if like two people saw each other and then fell in love that night. I'm sure someone's met at your show. I don't know. Let me know. Yeah. Comment below. If you met at a Beaches show, we would love to know. It's like some straight guy and his wife. It would actually probably. And that's okay. Eight years ago. Okay. Speaking of, you've been a band for fucking ever. 11 years. That's crazy. And the three...

Other girls were a band before Before Yeah And Yeah What's the story of the beaches Like how y'all became a band So The three of them were A band called Done With Dolls When they were like 10 to 12 years old And Their music videos would play On the Family Channel Which is the Canadian Disney Channel Fuck yeah I was a fan

Because me at like 15 I was watching Hannah Montana And all that stuff Obviously Late bloomer Didn't know she was gay Loved Miley Cyrus Loved Demi Lovato And then their Music videos would play Between shows So I started going To their live shows I was like

This is what I want to do. I want to join a girl band. That's sick. Then I saw them play it. Thought they were really cool. They ended up going to my high school. No way. And then when they had a member quit, they asked me to audition. So they like randomly went to your high school. Yeah. And you're like, wait, you're the band I watched on Family Time. And I'm like two to three years older than all of them. So I was like, oh my God, this band is going to my school. I need them to know I love music and I do want to be in their band. Did you already play like the guitar? Yeah. I grew up playing. I went to...

I did piano lessons for like 12 years. Cool. I was like seven and then guitar. And I was just kind of like this little nerd in school. Fair enough. That's crazy that they ended up at your school and then you ended up in the band. Yeah. And I was the only one to audition. Really? Oh my God. Okay. Well, I love that. What happened to the other girl?

I don't know. She's gay now. No way. I replaced a gay. That's crazy. But she didn't come out till later. Okay, you guys, it was destined to have some queerness, obviously. No, no, she went to university and did something completely different. That's crazy. Okay, and the band too. It's two sisters. It's kind of crazy how similar, you guys have some similarities to the Aces. Yeah. Right? Because like two siblings and then, but you're...

The only gay versus. Well, Jordan's bi. Bi. The only lesbian. Hey, respect. Sorry. No biphobia here. No biphobia. In my mom's eyes, I'm still bi. And she loves me. And I would never hate you for that. Yeah. Thank you. Even if you change your mind, it's okay. The girl I'm seeing? Bi. Perfect. Girl I'm seeing? Bi. Should they meet? I don't know, but that's tea that I just said that. Are you guys hot?

gonna go feral for that one oh my god do you ever talk about no wait i talked about it with you i've never heard of it i never talk about it so like even if i cut no if i put it in i'll just bleep it because i don't want people to search it

Because then they do and then they are invested. I was just on it and people are talking about the rings you wear. I know, it's crazy. I know. And then I took that ring off because I got stressed. Holy shit. No, it's too intense. Yeah, the aces are gayer. Yeah. With one straight. Yeah. And then we are a little straighter. Yeah. With one bi, one gay. And the aces kind of helped in your queer journey also, right? Yes, they did. Please explain. Yeah.

Turn the AC on, Julie. No, it's okay. Let me take a little sip of beer. Is it bad? No, it's great. And they're like my best friends now. I love the Aces. Yeah. And I probably told them last time I saw them. I went to... Did I see you on my little breakup trip in like the summer? Yeah.

I think at 4100, right? Probably at 4100. Yeah. Yeah. So I stayed with Elisa from the Aces and just, I went to be like, I'm going to hook up with everyone. Didn't hook up with anyone, but it was so fun. Yeah. Good. I had a great gay time. Maybe better that way. Yeah. I think so. But yeah, back in like 2019, we played Austin City Limits and the Aces were on the same bill on the same stage. And so I had, we all checked them out before just to see like what bands are on our stage. Loved their stuff. Mm-hmm.

And then when we met them, we were just like chatting and the three of them were like, we're gay. And I had met gay people before. They weren't your first gay. Wasn't my first gay. But I went to an arts high school where like all the out kids were like the theater kids. Yeah. And wearing the rainbow everywhere, which is, hey, totally fine. Someone's got to wear it. Someone's got to do it. Represent. Represent.

But I didn't identify with that Yeah, you didn't like see yourself Yeah And that's like literally you Like, oh, a girl in a band playing music Yeah And you're like, man, you dress the way I would want to dress Like, that's gotta be crazy Yeah, and like, I mainly hang out with my band And we're so busy, we're touring all the time So like, that is my core group So I was like, for the first time, I was like Wait, these are girls just like us Doing the exact same thing They're so funny, they're so cool, they're so hot Oh my god, gay people are normal people too Yeah

Literally gay panic. Like, gay panic. And I was just like, I wanted to hang with them the whole day. In my head, I didn't know yet. I was just like, I want to be best friends with these girls. But everyone else saw it. So, like, our manager at the time was like, after today, you're not going to wonder why everyone thinks you're gay. Because I would always be, like, teased for that. I was like, what? Then I invited Crystal over to, Crystal's lead singer, over to our Airbnb. And I did want to kiss her. Yeah.

I just remember like we I think we were just like lying on a trampoline our Airbnb had a basketball court trampoline we were lying on the trampoline all night and just like getting into deep chats and I distinctly remember her being like yeah I was dating guys before I realized I was gay like what's your situation like trying to get it out of me because everybody knew yeah

And I was like, no, I just like fucked a guy right before this trip, actually. Like, yeah, pretty straight. Like, imagine. I know you probably said it like that also. Which is also the gayest way I could. I fuck dudes. Yeah. I love dick. Shout it, audience.

Lesbian someone shout it I'm dead Yeah it was like overcompensating Like nobody can know that right in this moment I'm having my kind of queer awakening Where I'm like this is super hot girl And like these I'm thinking thoughts

But she knew. That's the funny thing about gay people too. It's like, we clock each other so easily. Yeah. And she's like my bro now. So I'm very thankful that she even had those conversations with me. Yeah. That's so nice. By the end of the night, we were like, we're falling asleep on the couch. And I remember being like, Oh, I should kiss this person. Like I've never in my life wanted to kiss a girl before, but I just wanted to. And it felt very normal and I didn't do it. I regretted it, but like, whatever. It's a story. Yeah. Um,

And then the next day, I was like, oh, my God, what was happening? And I went to Kylie and, like, just cried to her and was like, I think I like girls. That's crazy. That's so cool that they were, like, I don't know, that instrumental in your, just, like, your storyline. Yeah. You know? And I didn't tell them for a long time, but they all knew. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure you know. You also know. When you're a gay person, you have that conversation with someone. You're like, oh, shit. Because now I would know if someone was having that conversation. Yeah, 100%. You'd be like, oh. Yeah.

you're going to come out here. You'll be coming out soon. Yeah. But then I didn't want everyone to be right about me. So it took a long time to come out to more than just Kylie. Yeah. I feel you. I, that's a common phenomenon too. I've heard and like seeing a lot of people who, if you're, if a lot of people assume you're queer and,

And then they like have an aversion to wanting to tell people they actually are queer because they're like, fuck, you guys were right the whole time. Yeah. And I didn't want anyone to be right before I knew it about myself. Yeah. Like you wanted to figure it out first, which is fair and everyone should. But yeah, there's a part of you that almost wants to like prove everyone wrong when they're saying that. Yeah. I'm so straight. Yeah. People thought people thought I was in love with this girl in high school and they were correct. And I the whole time was like, what the fuck? Like, I'm in love with Kevin. So don't worry. Different Kevin, not this Kevin.

But same vibe where I was like, oh my God, they know. Like when you're clocked, it's so scary when you don't,

When you don't have the words or language for yourself yet and someone else is already like putting it onto you, then you're like, what the hell? And if they've kind of teased you in a very like innocent way where it's not bullying, but it's always like a little bit teasing, I definitely don't want them to be right about me. Yeah, 100%. So like now this is, you've teased me about something I actually am. It's the fucking worst. Yeah, but I mean that, it's like that experience was, I wasn't like, oh, I'm a lesbian now. I still had to go and figure it out and be like, okay, I think I like girls now. Now I gotta go like see if this is a thing. Yeah.

And you're still seeing. Still in your exploration. Yeah. But girls seem like they're working for you. Yeah. Okay, can we circle back to... So Kylie's the first person you came out to. Yeah. But you also mentioned before we started filming that you had to go to friend therapy with Kylie. Yes. Probably back in like 2016 or 17. Even when I joined the band, I think I always...

I was always weird around Kylie's boyfriends. We just didn't get along. And I was very protective of Kylie and just wanted all of her time. We were the best of friends and just inseparable. So anytime a boy would come along and be like, you're not spending time with me. What am I supposed to do? And I would get really weird and passive, passive aggressive and just wasn't a great friend. So I think...

As it neared my queer awakening, I was getting worse and more kind of aggressive. And our friendship was just like not doing well. So you went to friend therapy. Went to friend therapy. But like you don't feel like you ever actually liked her.

So right before we went to friend therapy, everyone was asking if I was in love with Kylie. I wasn't out yet. I didn't even know that about myself yet. So that was not a thought at all. I was just like, no, that's my best friend. And I don't really like her boyfriends. But they were like fine. They were normal boys. They were fine boys. They were fine boys.

And looking back, some of them, great. Some of them amazing. Amazing little boys. She was a young teenager. That's why I'm calling them little boys. Yeah. This is a long time ago. But yeah, my mom would ask... Like, I would just be depressed. I remember Kylie went on...

vacation was like hooking up with guys and I was just like so upset about it. Yeah. It must have been so confusing to you. It was so good. I'm like, am I insane? What is going on? I'm not gay. What's good? Like I want a boyfriend for myself. Like I'm just jealous. Yeah. But the other way. Jealous of the boys. Yeah. So I'd be at home like super depressed, not doing anything for like a whole summer. And my mom's like, are you in love with Kylie? That's crazy that your mom had the balls to ask you that. I know. Yeah. How dare you? But also. Respect.

Respect But other friends Were asking that too So I had to like Sit down with myself And be like Am I And I imagine like Do I want to kiss Kylie Do I want to sleep with Kylie No So that was even more confusing I totally could see that I feel like

I feel like that the friendship thing, like really intense friendships is like a literal, like every gay person almost has had one of those friendships. Yeah. It's like the bridge to figuring out who you are. The bridge to Terabithia. A hundred percent. Some might say. I had many, like a lot of them. Basically every girl best friend I ever had, I think a part of me was like obsessed like that. Like it was like, went beyond friendship, but also like,

I didn't want to kiss them either. It wasn't like, it wasn't actually romantic. It was just like a confusion. I feel like in my brain of like borderline, like obsession. Yeah. But you're like, it was not romantic. It's like, but it's just, I feel like it's because you also don't have, I mean, there's no, there wasn't, especially even when we were younger, like not much representation of,

That you could even like a girl So I didn't even know No Half the time I didn't know I was even liking them I was just like This is normal friendship Yeah This is how everyone feels About their girlfriend Everything in movies From like the early 2000s And TV shows Was like The gay kids were made fun of So why the heck Would you want to be gay? Yeah Like no

No, that's not me. They weren't selling it for us at all. No. They were like, this will be cool. Yeah. I want that. I want to be bullied. This will not be cool. And now look at us. We're the coolest kids in town. Look at us. It's cool to be gay. Say it, audience. Thanks, Amy. Thank you. Exactly. Okay. Should we talk about sex? Oh my God. I'm a virgin. I've never done that before.

Okay, I think that we have to talk, considering we talked about your ex, we have to talk about you going with your ex to a sex shop. And why did you do that? Why? Two weeks ago, I went with my BFFs, Julie and Leanne, to a little sex shop in Kensington Market.

To get a little strap-on situation going on. Strap-on situation. Again, I hope this isn't on Facebook stories so my mom does not see. It won't be on Facebook. And it wasn't just the three of y'all. Okay, it was supposed to be just us. And even Vanessa was thinking about coming. Okay. She never got invited. Okay. I can't picture her in a sex shop, but she said she wouldn't go though.

It was a beautiful sunny day. So my ex said, what are you doing today? Do you want to go drink a beer on a patio or whatever? And I said, I am going to drink a beer on a patio with Julie and Leanne. Would you like to come? But also I will be going to a sex shop after to get a strap on for the new girl I'm seeing. Well, for me, for whoever, it doesn't matter. Anyone can use it. It's for everybody. It's the whole community. It's commutal. It's for everybody. Commutal strap on. Yeah.

And she was like, yeah, I'd love to come. That's not weird for me. I don't care. I just want to like get outside and hang out. How is that not weird? I don't know. Because if I were going shopping with her, I'd be like passive. Yeah. What do you need this for? Yeah. What that do? I don't think I, even in all the maturity I have, I don't think I could go with my ex to a sex shop and be like, which one would she like? Yeah. Yeah.

To be fair, she didn't choose that. Leanne chose the one in the end. Oh. Leanne chose it. She's bowing. She's bowing. Thank you, Leanne. Alex did choose the lube. No. No. Your ex chose the lube? Why? Why? There are boundaries we should create here.

We need to start. We need a few. And I'm boundaryless myself, but we need a couple. Look, I didn't ask her to, but she got the employee and was like, hey, which harness? And I'm like, you don't need to ask these questions. I can do this. Did you buy the whole get up? I got everything. Because it's my first kind of situation because she had it all when we were dating. Got it. And I live at home. So I really. Where are you putting it?

Right? Where does it stay? Well, my parents are on vacation right now, so she's currently just living in my room. She's like on your bed. She has to be ready every time you come home. She has to be chilling. Wait, okay, that's crazy. It's your first own strap on. Yeah, because I mean, I only came out a couple years ago. Got into the relationship with Alex for a while.

really early. And she'd been out and like gay for a long time. Yeah, she was like, what do you need? It's all under my bed. And there it all was. Were, was. And there it all were. You're like, it's probably still there. Who's using it now? And like, I've got my share, my fair share of vibrators. Okay. But me living at home, like the girls I see have their own places. I'm just like a bubby musician. I live at home. Yeah. I don't need a strap on because...

My parents are always home. What am I going to do? Are you hooking up at your house ever? Well, now I am. When they're gone. Well, when they were there. No! No! Please don't be on Facebook stories. My mom thinks that this new girl I'm seeing is my bestie, straightie, bestie. Because I'm always like, her boyfriend. So...

Like, I feel like you are literally almost having like an adolescent. Yes. I'm embarrassed. I'm almost 30 and I'm having this like teenage. No one should be embarrassed. Don't be embarrassed. But it is crazy that you are doing all of that and also under your parents' roof because it does probably even feel more like. Insane. Yeah. An adolescence. Like you're literally like what people should. It is crazy and unfair that like what people get to experience so

so many straight people get to experience in high school and college like yeah so many queer people don't get to have until they're like in their late 20s yeah and even later i was thinking about this the other day of like how sad i feel for younger me because growing up watching all of my best girlfriends like just fall for these guys and like go experience all of that and i was like it doesn't feel right i don't want to do any of that with guys and like i'm just a late bloomer yeah

But no, if I had known, I mean, again, everyone's journey is like where and when it should be.

but it just would have been so it would have been a different experience for sure I mean it makes sense too that like your experience even with your friendship with Kylie like I think maybe there was like an element of just jealousy of like jealous that you're getting to have like your first crush your first love your first hookups and I don't get to have that you know yeah versus like a romantic feeling towards Kylie like more of like a why am I not at that point in my life you know like that kind of jealousy I think it's hard to watch all your friends like

like fall in love and have these real feelings where like...

I'm like oh I'm supposed to have that and I'll fake it but I'm not having those feelings and you're trying not to admit it to yourself or admit it to your friends totally because I'm embarrassed and I had I would have people be like are you asexual like no but I'm just so confused about everything like no I'm just a little boy I'm just trying to figure this out no it's crazy I said in my patreon last week too I talked about the experience of loving this girl and we went to prom together but we both I mean as friends no we went to prom like

in the same prom group okay but like with our boyfriends right with a guy and then we would dance like we were grinding on our dates and we are face to face yeah we're grinding on our dates face to face and i'm literally like want to like die thinking i'm like i want to dance with her i want to be the one that gets to like take the pictures with her and then there is like this weirdness where we did get to take the pictures together you know what i mean because he's like this is my best friend yeah and like you are dancing together but like

on boys like yeah it's such a you were gay that early on no I didn't know I was gay but well no I didn't know I was gay at all because I didn't know girls could be gay I thought only boys could be gay don't know why okay girls aren't allowed that's what Jesus said to us yeah exactly I read it in the good book but I then I had this experience with this girl in high school where I she was just another one of my friends that I had kind of like an obsession with and

it was normal like I wasn't like stalker vibes to any of my friends but I had the same kind of like really intense friendship with her yeah the difference was she felt the same way so it was like just divine that she was like wait one night texting me being like I have to tell you something but you're gonna like see me differently you'll never like think about me the same way again I was like you can tell me anything literally anything at all did she tell you yeah and she was like I like you as more than a friend and I was like

Me too. But yeah. And then, so that made me realize if I hadn't had that experience at high school, like I, it's funny cause we're talking about, it's not fair that so many of us don't get to have that experience in high school. I did get to have it, but it was just tumultuous. It was like really, really intense and scary. And like her parents outed me and like all that kind of vibe, but it definitely helped solidify that I was queer. Like I knew as soon as I kissed her, I was like,

Are you kidding? Because I kissed guys and I was like, it's not that bad. I could do it. And then I kissed her and I was like, oh my God, I can't breathe. And like, I have butterflies. I didn't know that you were supposed to feel all these feelings. So I don't know. It definitely changed the trajectory of my life, that experience in high school. And so many people just don't even get to have that until they're 25. Yeah.

Yeah. But I recently read Tegan and Sarah's book. I think it's called High School, which is like the same thing you went through in high school. I read it when I was on the Aces tour and I was like laughing and crying and being like, this is everything I'm feeling now. And I felt this in high school, but it feels so, this is so relatable. I know. It's really wild to read. And then when I met Tegan and Sarah, I said,

Love them. Love them. Love them. I said something to Tegan like, oh, I came out really late and blah, blah, blah. And she was like, no, you're not late. You're always just on time. Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah.

no that's me it's truly everyone's journey and i have to be softer with myself because i'm always like i regret this and why didn't i do this but like everyone's journey just happens and it has led to had led me to where i am now and i'm so comfortable in my skin now yeah i just like the regret is that i just wish i was this comfortable when i was younger like i'm now dressing how i was in grade five but i was being made fun of for it totally and when i got to high school i was like i need to

wear crop tops and little jean shorts and i look at those photos i'm like who is that yeah like my hair is down to here you have pretty hair though when i met you your hair was long too i know me too though but but i look back and i'm like who is that yeah and that's like two years ago yeah that's crazy that's a quick quick change and now look at us i know same look at our little short cowlick in the back flippy hair it could be could be me could be her you never know

Okay, does anyone have any suggestions of questions I should ask? How long have we been going, Vaness? She was supposed to tell me. We lost her. I was supposed to what? You were saying you were going to start a timer, right? Okay, we're taking questions from our audience, our live audience here in Toronto. And our first question is from... Well, we'll see if she comes. Shannon. Our first question is from the one, the only, Shannon Burns. You may recognize her from this very podcast called...

And or the radio. Can't really recognize someone from the radio. Okay. Okay. So you're always on Duolingo, even when we're like drunk at the bar. So I want to hear some of it. I've never heard you speak Italian. Show us what you got.

I'm ready for that. Are you Italian? Yeah, I'm half Italian. And I started Duolingo the day my nonna passed away. Because I was like, I always wanted to learn Italian and didn't. And then there's the push when you lose someone. But I don't know. Like, I can't think of a sentence. I thought you were going to have words for me to translate. And I'd be like, boom. I don't know. I can't think of Italian on the spot. No, I can't.

Say... Oh, Andrea Bocelli. Yeah. La luce. Tell me about your worst birthday experience. Well, Shannon Burns, my worst birthday experience was actually the same year that I later came out. Sorry, quick Budweiser. When I turned 25, September, I don't know what year, we...

We opened for T-Pain in Mississippi for a college football game. There were 70,000 people there. It was like the stage on a street and just as far as you could see, there were just people. So we're like, this is the biggest show. We're going to be huge after this. It was a country opener, then us, the rock opener, and then T-Pain. That's kind of sick. Yeah, but obviously everyone was there for T-Pain.

And we had an hour set. So we got on and I mean, we knew that like no one was really vibing like halfway through. Jordan was like,

Leandra turns 25 today. Should we sing her happy birthday? And we all have our ears in, but you can still hear everyone shout no. No, no. And I was like, I heard you all say no. That's really rude. And Jordan was like, let's sing it. And then started singing and nobody was singing. And I had to stand there for the whole birthday. No. Happy birthday song. Nobody's singing. And I just like, and then half an hour of the set left. And near the end, I had like a keyboard solo. And while I was soloing, I could hear people chanting T-Pain. No. No.

It was just terrible. And then we got off and people were booing, I think. No, no. It was a good birthday. Wait. Good birthday. Should we sing Leandra happy 25th birthday to make up for it right now? And I'm still straight then. No. And it says no. DJ. Good one, friends. It's like drama. Thanks, Shannon. Burns.

Who is not T-Pain? Who's the Lil Jon? I hung out with Lil Jon once. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I did. I was in Vegas. I was at Avicii's set and I was sitting in a booth and it was the most random like trip of my whole life. And I look over at one point and Lil Jon sitting next to me and I'm like, why the fuck?

Am I in a booth with Lil Jon? So nice. Did you guys chat? Yeah. He was so sweet to me. And I looked so insane. I was like still in my lesbian era of trying to look kind of straight, which was bad. Like I was wearing like boots, but like brown booty, booties. It wasn't good. I was with my booties. You remember when I used to wear the booties? It didn't work. Vanessa said it worked. Like an Ugg? No, I'll show you pictures. Yeah. Oh, small.

Yeah, it was bad. Small mocha. It was bad. It was bad. And Lil Jon's like, hey. Lace booties, girl. Yeah. Good guy, that guy. T-Pain should have sang you happy birthday. Yeah. Maybe one day. But that's a great story. Thank you, Shannon Burns. Thanks, Shannon Burns. Vanessa, you got a question? Coming to the pod, Vanessa Webster. You also may know her from the podcast. Jujucal. Jujucal. The owner of Rockton Haunt.

So if you ever come, say hi to Julie. Say hi, Julie. Hi. Good job. Hi. Okay, any questions? Okay, so the one thing I've been thinking about is... She got so quiet. The one thing I've been thinking about is... What is the one thing you've been thinking about? I can't say it. What is it? Say it. You're the only one. All I want to know is how long does it take to not be best friends with an ex?

That question was an intervention. When are you going to be done? I've never been best friends with an ex. Has anyone ever been? And then how long did it take to stop being? But that sounds to me, I don't want to stop being best friends. Okay. Yeah, my ex, Alex, is helping me with my current situations too. Clearly. Obviously. She's picking out the lube. Hey, that harness. Give me those metal rings. We need 6.5 inch. We need...

I'm just thinking about this. So for a 7 into 7 and a huh. 7 inch deck, 109 truck size. That's literally Alex helping you pick out your strap. Okay, Leandra, tell them your weirdest talent. Well, I can ride a unicycle, I can juggle on a unicycle, and then Leanne was just saying that this clap, I really have to pee so I can't really move, but like this. Fuck yeah. It's not really good right now, but I learned from the world's fastest clapper on YouTube.

He started his warm up like this, just like little cups, little cups. When I was a kid I went all the way to Peterborough to get a unicycle off of Craigslist. This older man sold it to me. I can do this thing. Where my loons at? Where are the lesbians? Lesbians? Lesbians? Rise!

I asked ChachiBT, my lesbian friend has a gay podcast, and she's looking for audience questions. I'm stumped. Help me. And then they gave me a bunch of really boring questions about coming out and stuff. So I said, do you have any saucy questions? And they said...

I lost it. Okay, what was your wildest Pride parade experience? There's a tongue twister. Wildest Pride parade experience. I was on a Pride float with Samantha Ronson was the DJ. That's her name, right? Yeah. Who dated Lindsay Lohan. Yeah. She was the DJ. It was.

It was so random. I don't know what was going on that day. I've never been on a float. You've never been on a pride float? No, and I've only been to like two prides. Okay, well, we gotta get you. Because I'm always away. True. But we're playing our first pride. It's not out yet, so I can't say. But in a city near you. Fuck yeah. Okay, again, thinking back, I'm now like, I'm definitely gay. I remember watching Harry Potter 1. Yep. And how old were we when it came out? Maybe seven or something?

I had a dream about her and maybe I had a seven year old stream where we kissed. I woke up. I woke up. I was like, I have to move countries. Like I'm just a seven year old piece of shit. Ew.

If someone was going to propose to you. Okay. No, if you were in a relationship with someone. Yeah. I would hope so. So if you're in a relationship with someone. If you're in a relationship with someone, if they were to propose, if you didn't want to say yes, would you say no in the moment or would you rather say yeah and then afterwards be like, I don't want to do that. Good job, Benna. Would you do it now or after? After.

Is it a public proposal? Does it matter? Yeah. Well, it has to be public because if it's not public, I would just say no. Yeah. If it was public, I think I would probably say yes and later say no. I think I would say yes privately and publicly and then figure out a way to tell. Yeah. I mean, oh, I can't make it that day actually. Oh, the wedding's when? I'm busy. I'm busy.

I'm literally on tour. And then stay married. I feel like Leandra would say yes in the moment, but I feel like you would not. I would say yes in the moment because, but I think this is what I said. Okay. So someone asked us this question at a party the other night. My point was, I said, I think I would say yes in the moment, but I think if my partner knew me and loved me, they would know that my yes was like a no. Like it would be so palpably uncomfortable. Like I'd be like, Oh, okay.

Why would they propose if they knew it maybe could be a no? Well, first of all, I also don't think I'm ever going to date anyone who's going to propose to me first. You're going to propose? I would assume. Do you want to propose to her? Depends on the person. Right now? Yeah. Yeah. Would you rather be proposed to or get proposed to? I would rather propose to someone.

Yeah, for sure. I also don't even like surprises. Like I don't like when someone, I mean, I don't, I do like surprises, but I feel like I'm not the best gift receiver as a human. I think it's sometimes hard to tell if I really like something because I'm just so like, oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. I don't get like, I don't get like that kind of, I'm not going to like, if someone gets down on one knee, I don't think I would cry. And they're filming it. And you're just like, I don't think my reaction would be very good. So I think I'm better off.

proposing. And also, most girls I've liked, not that it's a gender norm thing at all, but they just are kind of more

Tend to be more high maintenance than me Which I think lends itself to Wanting to be proposed to Not gendering it I'm just saying like They're more particular than me I can't see anyone getting down on one knee Proposing to me and be like Haley I broke her And then I would like I'll put my fingers out And my nails would be so fucked up But why could I see Alex proposing to you? Yes because Alex is like So

I'm saying like for your past relationship, I feel like Alex is more of the proposer. Yes. Maybe Alex is maybe not the right person for you to date because maybe you need to date someone who. Well, I think I found my more mask identity towards the end of the relationship. Like cut my hair and was like dressing like this and my camo pants and stuff. And now we are two mask people. Mask for mask. Yeah. And I don't know. And are you even are you would you say you're Alex's type now? No. No.

Right? Now. We're both not each other's type anymore. We're best friend types. Best friends forever. Forever, never, never, never. Okay, that was great. Okay, as a touring musician, what do we think about hooking up on tour? Because I don't do it. You don't do it? I don't really do it, no. But it's because I'm so excited to tour. I'm like, oh, we get to rock out today. Yeah. Like...

tired on the road and sometimes you don't even get to shower after a show. Why am I gonna go hook up with someone? But I have done it. But not now. But wait, on the last tour, kind of loved doing it. I hooked up with like two people but it's like when we had days off and we're in one city and I had a hotel room and it was like much more of a normal life.

So not no. So not no. I'm not... I don't think I'm a hookup on the road kind of gal, but I kind of threw myself into it and was like, go do that post-breakup. Like, go try it. What's your biggest ick? Whoa. Um...

I hung out with this girl at the beginning of the summer. I was hanging out with you and then I went to meet her. We were chatting online and I had never met. And I went to the bar and she was kind of rude to the staff there, like ordering drinks, like so rude. I was like, oh, I got to get out of here. I think someone is rude to anyone, but also to like server. Yeah. Service workers. I'm like, oh, I'm out of here. Huge. It's probably mine.

I don't like when people bite their nails. I think that's, it bothers me. I hate that sound. But it's not a deal breaker for me. But like an ick. Like it just is like actually genuinely like gives me like an ick. I'm like, ick, don't do that. And I used to bite my own nails. So, and then I stopped because I was like, whoa, that's not hot of me. Got to change that up. So maybe that. I mean, that is one of mine. I usually say. Yeah. Sorry, Amy, you had a yeast infection question real quick. What's your pH is doing?

Better these days since I bought some Vagisil. I stopped using men's body wash and mahooha. Mahooha.

Okay guys thank you so much for listening to X's and L's And I hope you loved Leandra You can follow her on all her socials I'll put them below And you should also check out the Beaches Her band they're amazing I'll put them below too And this was so much fun And there's more content on my Patreon That you should definitely check out Thanks for having me Love you all Love your audience Oh Canada Our home and native land