bachelorette to lesbian relationship with Gabby Windey
01:19:38 Share

Today's episode is brought to you by Angie. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs and projects done well. Let me tell you, there's the version of it where you try to do something at home and then there's a version of it where you have someone help you, you watch them do it the right way and you go, thank God I didn't try to do that myself.

I have fully done things around the home that I think look good and then a bang in the night and I wake up to a shelf collapsing, a painting falling off the wall. Like it, I've seen it all go south. I own a home and I can tell you, I know how much work it can take. Whether it's everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now all you need to do is Angie that.

and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Whatever your home project, big or small, indoor or outdoor, you can Angie that and connect with skilled professionals to get the project done well. Right now, one of my wishlists is I want a bike for my condo in Milwaukee, and I would love...

to rig it up on a pulley in the ceiling because I have one of those like lofted ceilings, but I'm so scared to try that on my own. Angie has 20 years of home experience and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app. Answer a few questions and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly, which means you can take care of any home project in just a few taps.

This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Whether you're selling a little or a lot...

Shopify helps you do your thing, however you cha-ching. From the launch your online shop stage, all the way to the we just hit a million orders stage. No matter what stage you're in, Shopify's there to help you grow. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash special offer, all lowercase. That's shopify.com slash special offer.

Okay, hi guys. My name is Shannon Beveridge. Welcome back to X's and O's, a podcast where we talk about queer relationships and sex. Last week, I had an episode with Rose and Rosie and the feedback was that my intro was too long. It was three minutes long. I thought it was the shortest intro I ever did, but...

This will be the shortest intro I ever do. I'm going to do a quick mental health check just to say I am doing so well. I'm happy and healthy and good and going to Canada tomorrow to see my best friend Vanessa and see my best friend Kevin Burke open for Noah Khan. He's playing guitar for Jensen McRae. You may know her from TikTok and her song Massachusetts, which I can't wait for to come out.

And yeah, this is such a quick intro because first of all the feedback kidding that was funny I didn't care about that but mostly because the episode is long already because Gabby is so fucking funny This is like literally one of my favorite episodes i've ever posted. So I hope you guys enjoy it And yeah, follow Gabby on all her socials Check out her podcast that just came out. I think it's going to be amazing. I already watched the first few episodes She's so good. So yeah

Check it out. And I think she has a new episode coming out Thursday. So you're listening to this on Wednesday. There will be a new episode on her podcast Thursday. Thank you for watching. Thank you for listening. And if you have time to rate or like or comment below, I will appreciate it. And I do appreciate it. And I love you. Okay. Bye. Bye. Bye.

I will do an intro. Hopefully it will sound good. I'm like, oh my god, no worries. It can sound bad if you want. If it sounds bad, I'll do it again. Okay. Okay. Hi, guys. My name is Shannon Beveridge. Welcome to X's and O's, a podcast where we talk about queer relationships and sex. I'm so excited for the guest today. Her name is Gabby Windy. You may know her from The Bachelorette, Dancing with the Stars, or her new podcast, Inheritance.

It's what is it called? Long-winded. Long-winded, obviously. Goes with your last name. It's perfect. Yeah. When this episode is out, your show will be out. So you can go and listen to it. I'll put it in the link in the bio. And yeah, I'm so excited. Also, I personally know you from TikTok. I'm dead. It's so embarrassing for me. It's literally my favorite thing. Like,

I obviously discovered you when you came out. I like The Bachelor. I watch it. Yeah. Sometimes I like watch a season and get into it. And then if I don't, then I just don't know anything. But yeah, when you came out, I think my friend Shannon actually interviewed you on the red carpet with Robbie once. Oh my God. Fun. It's like, I don't know what.

It was one that went like kind of viral on TikTok. It was like ET Canada. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's my friend. And she was on my podcast too. Oh my God. Fun. So random. But yeah, I was like, oh my God, this is such an exciting little story. And then I started following you on TikTok and I'm like, I need to meet this person. She's actually crazy. Yeah. I need to know who this person is.

Do you like every time I watch one of your TikToks, I'm like, when you tell this is the beginning of the conversation because I was almost late. I don't want because, you know, you have to like squeezing content. And I'm like, I'm so embarrassing. No, but it's so good. Every time when you tell a story, I'm like, where's it going? I'm never sure. I'm like, this is so exciting. I'm like on the edge of my seat.

Did you like, did you practice? No. Do you know where they're going when you started? No. Like half the time. Well, so it was like, whatever. It's a journey. Yeah. Because I feel like after Bachelor Bachelorette, you get a social media following. But I'm like, what the fuck is TikTok? Like, I'm not a kid. Like, I don't know. And I'm not like outwardly kind of performative, I guess. Like, I'm like soft spoken. I'm kind of inward. So I'm like, whatever. But I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like

But, you know, my relevancy was declining. So, I'm like, all the kids are on fucking TikTok. I gotta get my ass on TikTok. So, I tried. I would go on when I was, like, high. Smart. That's when I had, like, the confidence. But also, when I would try and storytell, there'd be, like, no conceit at all. It's like, it would just, like, end and end. But I'm like, that is what happened. Yeah.

So I think now I'm getting a little better at like, but no, I don't know where they're going. I love it. I love it. I've like watched, I think all of them. I'm like, this is, this content is for me. I love it so much. Yeah. I feel the same way with TikTok. Like I've been on social media for so long and I'm also, I'm 32. So I'm not young either. So when TikTok came around, I was like, what the fuck? I have to learn like a new app. And there was like definitely at first kind of like an aversion to it where I'm like,

Right. Right. I don't want to do this. And then I was like, fuck, I think I have to do this. Like everyone's on there. So. Yeah. And then there is like an element of it's like embarrassing a little bit. It's so embarrassing. But then it's like everybody's doing it. So it's just fine. Yeah. I feel like you can't just like go back and look at it.

No, you can't. Yeah, you have to just post. Post and look away. How do you feel about TikTok maybe getting banned? I know people have been talking about it forever, but I saw something that was like, maybe it'll actually happen. Like actually happen? I feel like, I mean, for me, I feel not too scared because my other platforms are like kind of okay too. Yeah. But-

And I feel like if it does, I feel like everyone will just move to like Reels or Snapchat or whatever. Yeah. I didn't know Snapchat was like such a thing. Are you on there? I tried to be. I saw the one TikTok that was like, you can make so much money on Snapchat. So my ass posted a story that day. I don't know.

I was like, but I'm loud and clear. I'm like, I'm here for the money, but it didn't go anywhere. Like, I don't know how to monetize it. I'm like one more thing. But I feel like I don't know anything about it either. I just went to South by Southwest like two weeks ago and I went to like a Snapchat and

meet up thing yeah and this girl was like oh I'll like get you verified on there and so then I've started to post but she was like you need to post 40 stories a day 40 I'm like who has time for that literally who has so then I'm like I don't know I don't know if it's like gonna stick around for me but it's it's fun because for me I feel like Instagram I feel like I have to look a certain way yeah kind of like make it a vibe but like it's all like very like

I don't know Intentional Yeah With Snapchat I'm just like Whatever post Whatever the fuck Totally Yeah I'm like a blurry picture Like here's my foot Like I don't care Like anything so I feel like it's even less Fucks given Than like TikTok Which that's pretty low Literally Literally yeah It's like the tears It's like lower Lower lower Yeah

Okay, well, are you excited for your podcast to start? Yeah, I'm really excited. Much like my TikToks, I don't know where it's going. People are like, what is it about? But you can't really plan for it, I feel. Like yours is nice because you had a clear vision, I feel. And it's like there's nothing else really like it. I just needed a theme so that I felt some direction at all. I think if I were to sit down every week and just be like,

What am I talking about today? Like I would have like had burnout because I've already had burnout so many times because I've been online for so long. So it's like if I have like just even a little bit of direction, I'll be able to stick with it. Yeah. So... And it's doing really well. It seems like they're like you are really filling a gap in the market, which is great to see. Thank you. Yeah. I'm having fun with it. It's definitely intimidating. It's an intimidating space because you talk a lot. Right. It's a lot of you talking. And I'm like every... I think like...

I don't know if you feel this since you've come out now, but sometimes it feels like queer content creators and queer people in general are kind of like held to a little bit higher standard of like knowledge. And you're like, I'm still dumb. I'm just gay. At the end of the day, I am from Texas. I'm just a girl. No, literally. I'm like, I have a public school education. But a lot of lesbians are so smart.

Yeah, but yeah, there's a feel like it's like there's a standard where it's like don't say anything wrong a little bit. Yeah. More than like if you were just, I don't know, a straight white guy with a podcast saying whatever the fuck you want. Oh, Theo Vaughn. Yeah. Which like, don't get me wrong, die for him. He's so funny. He's so funny. Like, I don't know if he means to be or if he's just stupid. But I'm like...

He must. Is he in on the bit? He has to be in on it or he just got like really lucky with this talent. Yeah. He has no idea he has. Every snippet I see on TikTok, I'm like, it's so awesome. Like it's like almost problematic. Right. But you're like away with it. OK. Yeah. Yeah. But I feel like, yeah, the talking for this long.

And having that kind of like pressure of not saying something wrong. Yeah. Sometimes I get a little bit stressed, but... Yeah. I feel like my introduction to the queer space was my girlfriend who's like...

um not PC at all she gets away with so much and she's a comedian yes yeah and because she just has like a persona about her and she's really smart so she can just like talk her way kind of out of everything and everything you said like she says you're like are you serious or are you not but also there's like

a lot of validation to the things that she says or like credibility. Um, and it makes sense. So it's been kind of nice. Yeah. But I have, yeah, younger friends who like are in the queer space and they're like, so on me about shit. I'm like, sorry, like I'm, I'm a, I'm a millennial.

I'm just a girl. I really, I promise I'm just a girl. Right. Like I'm not on the Gen Z like kind of, you know. I think it's getting better. Like not getting better, but I think people are giving people more grace. It's like, I think everything can be a learning experience. Like let me know. Like if I said something really bad, please let me know. Yeah, I feel the same way. Because we also got, we're like getting political right away. But I'm like, we also got to a place I feel like especially as,

I mean, you're from the South. I'm from the Midwest. Like, coming from such a conservative world and then opening up your mind to other things, you're, like, too scared to ask questions. Yeah. Because you know that the culture is, like, heavy on cancellation. Even if you don't have a platform, you don't want to piss anybody off because that's more of what the conversation is around versus learning. Yeah, totally. So I feel like I was...

Not even, yeah, I guess like before, because I think there was always signs of like not even being gay, but wanting to explore my sexuality. But it was almost like I was too scared because I was afraid like,

I was just too scared to ask questions. Or like you wouldn't be like taken seriously or something. Right. Or somehow I would just innately offend them. Yeah. Just because that's what happens. Like just by being myself. That's what I do. Yeah. No. Huge shout out to Tomboy X for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. If you guys have been watching for a while, then you know that I love Tomboy X. They've been a longtime sponsor and I love to work with queer owned brands. It is wonderful.

like a dream for me. It's Tomboy X's 11th anniversary and you can get 25% off the whole website from now until Sunday, April 14th. If you use the code Shannon at checkout or you go to www.tomboyx.com slash Shannon. And if you're too late and you missed the sale, then you will also get 20% off if you use that code or go to that link. So there's still, you should still go get some underwear. You should still go get some lingerie.

I'm a huge, huge fan of Tomboy X. I wear their underwear almost every day. I'm wearing it now. But this is a family show. I'm kidding. It's not even a family show. But I love Tomboy X so much. Thank you guys for sponsoring this video. And check it out, you guys. Okay, how long have you been with Robbie? Almost a year now. Oh my god, congratulations. Thank you. And she's your first girlfriend. Yeah. Okay. So I feel like, I don't know. And how old are you? I don't even know. I'm 33. Okay. So to explore your sexuality later in life, too, I feel like is a little bit...

especially after being so publicly perceived as heterosexual, right? Totally. And like in these really heteronormative, even like Dancing with the Stars is pretty like heteronormative, Middle America like audience, right? Yeah, Ballroom is like masculine, feminine, like male, female. Yeah, and then Jojo Siwa though. Yeah, yeah. Good for her. Good for her. She's doing so much. We don't have to talk about that. Yeah.

I'm like, yeah, you guys know. But yeah, that must have been like, I can't imagine how it felt like already. It's already hard without a public following or like a public persona to like explore your sexuality. But then to have that too, like, was it so scary? Um,

Well, I have a question. When did you come out? I'm like, before I answer that, what about you? Okay. So I came out, I like had an experience with a girl in high school. Okay. And then her parents kind of outed me when I was like 16 to my parents. Oh my God. But then we, I went back into the closet. I was like, my mom was like, are you gay? You're like, no.

was like uh no I have a boyfriend so what the fuck are you talking about I just like totally said no and then uh went to college joined a sorority was like oh fuck you were really yeah overcompensating I'm gonna find the man of my dreams at SIGGAP like no you're not so then I came out like I started coming out kind of during college and then I was fully out by like

Okay. 23. So younger. Okay. Younger, but also kind of old. It's weird because now kids get to come out like at 16. Oh, yeah. So I had a different experience. But anyway. Okay. No. Yeah. I'm just always curious because I do think like...

I don't know. I always say this with like The Bachelor and kind of my new platform too. I feel like my age is such a blessing because I didn't go on TV until I was like 31. I was an ICU nurse for eight years before. So I had just lived so much of a life. Like a real life, like a fully actualized human. Yeah, I had a traumatizing childhood. I did it all. So I feel like I just had perspective and I've always been like kind of good about like

like beating to the drum. Beating to your own drum? Yeah. Whatever the saying is. Marching to the beat of your own drum. Yeah, yeah. I was thinking of beating my own drum. So I feel like when it happened, I wasn't really like...

scared. Naturally, I think, yeah, you have a shame that you just want to deal with. Especially coming from the Midwest too on top. So many layers to it. Totally. And even having conservative parents. But I feel like it was nothing really more than that. I was never afraid. I actually think it was easier for me, which I know not everyone is the same. I'm really lucky for the people who follow me and have come to love me after the TV shows I've been on because they've been nothing but

like really supportive and happy for me um and I've I kind of felt like that was and it's like everybody's gay yeah I know it's also it's 2024 like who isn't a little bit gay yeah exactly yeah that helps I think like from what I've seen of you on tv too it seems like you are very much yourself so I feel like when you came out I feel like people are like this is a genuine person this is a genuine relationship this is a genuine like thing which is nice because some people I feel like

When you're going on those reality shows and you kind of can tell when people are kind of, there's like a facade or like they're there for not really the right reasons or whatever. I mean, what is the right reason? The Bachelor vernacular. But yeah, no, I feel like that probably eased your transition into like coming out too. Yeah, totally. I was already like kind of not even used to public scrutiny, but I don't think Bachelor had ever really seen anyone like me who was like,

I was really open about not coming from like a nuclear family and already having struggles and like just doing things a little differently. So, and apparently like all the bi girls were on to me when I was on TV. They were like, when's she going to come out? So I think it's just, I think, yeah, it's a sign. I don't know. It's like,

how did we become this way? Is it like, you know, is it our sexuality? Is it like society? Is it like, fuck you to the patriarchy? I mean, maybe it's all, they're all good. I like all those things. Right. Anyway. Yeah. I feel like, didn't you have like a quote when you were on the bachelor that you like hate men? Probably. I don't know. I'm like, probably like, it sounds like something I might've said. Yeah. Yeah. Like, but I'll fall in love with this guy.

This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Whether you're selling a little or a lot, Shopify helps you do your thing however you cha-ching. From the launch your online shop stage all the way to the we just hit a million orders stage. No matter what stage you're in, Shopify's there to help you grow. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash special offer all lowercase. That's shopify.com slash special offer.

Hey, everybody. My name is Bob the Drag Queen. And I'm Monet X Change. And we are the hosts of Sibling Rivalry. This is a podcast where two best friends gab, talk, smack, and have a lot of fun with our black queer selves. Yeah, for sure. And, you know, we are family. So we talk about everything, honey, from why we don't like hugs to Black Lives Matter to interracial dating to other things. Right, Bob? Yes, and it gets messy, and we are not afraid to be racist.

So please join us over here at Sibling Bribery, available anywhere you get your podcasts. You can listen and subscribe for free. For free, honey. Yeah. How did you go from... Did you get engaged to the guy from your season? Yeah. And how was that? I mean... It was...

He's always really bumpy. He like, you can only get to know someone so much, not even with like just being on TV. But I think a lot of dating and a lot of my problems with dating men was like, they aren't forced to get to know themselves like women are because we have to overcome so much. We're already at a deficit. It's like blah, blah. The world wasn't like made for us by us. You mean? Yeah, exactly. So it's like really,

have to better understand ourselves that men aren't forced with that pressure and like I immediately kind of not I didn't know at the time but I really did feel a disconnect and like who I was dating because I don't think they knew themselves enough to like be forthcoming with information about themselves yeah it's like people are like you should have asked better questions it's like is this not me yeah I could ask any question but it's like the answers I was given and like they just don't do the work yeah I feel like

he needed to ask himself those questions, right? Before. Yeah. That is so interesting. I feel like, do you feel, is it so different dating a woman compared to dating men for you now? It's like, I don't, I feel like it's not that different, honestly, because I think you just get so used to your relationship and it's like, okay, this is like the person that I'm in a relationship with.

But I do feel like this is the first time I really like am facing kind of the guards I have up in relationships that you don't really know until you fall in love with somebody. And then like you're facing it face to face and you're like, why the fuck am I acting so crazy? Right.

I'm like, oh, because you love them and you're like scared. Yeah. So I think that's been just the big difference is that I'm actually able to like grow in a relationship and be in love. That's so sweet. Yeah. That's so nice. I also feel like, I don't know if you feel this way at all, but did you kind of feel like you were always like just smarter than the men you dated? Always. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, I'm not even that smart. Like that is a problem. Yeah.

Like I know a lot of people who are smarter than me. So why? But yeah, like you're not feeling challenged too. I can like, I don't know. I can't, I can't really imagine because I'm like the opposite. I'm like, I'm like a gold star lesbian, which. What do you mean? Do you know what that means? No. Oh my God. Exciting. Okay. A gold star is like a lesbian who never even slept with a guy.

Oh, my God. Okay, cool. There's lots of little terms. Yeah. So, like, I don't have any real experience dating men. I've only ever dated women. You're not really missing out on anything. Yeah. Sometimes I'm like, am I going to die a virgin? Yeah.

Like, I know I've had sex with him. I'm like, is that a virgin? Right. Yeah. And then I'm like, I am. I'm not sure I am. I want to. I would like... Actually, I would love that. I don't need to ever do that. But it is weird because I don't have any... I don't have any experience dating men, but I do have experience dating women who've never dated women before. Okay, yeah. Yeah. So I've had many... Not many, but I've dated girls. I'm like, the intro. Does it scare you? I don't get scared of that scenario because I like...

I think it just comes from confidence. Like I'm confident and I'm not like insecure. So if someone is choosing to date me, like I believe they want to date me. I'm not like, are you going to like leave me for a guy? And I feel like you can tell just by like communicating with someone. I can tell what the vibe is, you know, like I've never dated a straight girl. Every girl I've ever dated. I'm like, I don't hate myself. Yeah. No, I don't. Also like you,

I can tell you're not straight if you're like, sorry, but if you're going down on me, that's not a straight girl. Right, right. It's like, you're not straight now. Yeah. So, I don't know. I just like, I feel like I just believe people that they want to be with me. No, that's really nice. Yeah. You should keep doing that. I'm going to keep doing that. Were you ever like in a situation where you could have had sex with a man, but you're like, no? I don't even think. No? I don't think I even got that close. My last boyfriend, like last...

last guy I even talked to was my freshman year of college and I used to have to get so drunk to kiss him that I would kiss him with my eyes open oh my god because it was like I was kind of dizzy yeah and you were like still trying to find a boyfriend I was like I swear it's you it's like yeah and I was like the classic thing I was a freshman in college and it was this like older guy and everyone's like oh my god he likes you Shannon he likes you like this guy I was like

I guess I gotta do it. I'm like, must black out first. Let's take shots. Let's take some shots and then let's see what happens. But, and then he cheated on me. No, what an idiot. I know, but it was like, I didn't care. Thank God.

At all. Like, I didn't care at all. But I confronted him about it. I texted him. I was like, hey. So a girl in my sorority. You're like, this is the difference. Yeah. Me showing up to my ex-boyfriends who cheated on me, like breaking shit over my knee. And you're like, just to be clear. I just texted. I'm like, by the way, I think I heard maybe you're cheating on me. Totally fine. Just let me know. Just invite me next time. No.

I literally, my sorority sister was, she played golf at my college. So what school did you go to? Oklahoma. Oh,

oh yeah Oklahoma like is that the Longhorns it's the Sooners it's the Longhorns like rival so we're and my sister went to UT because that's Texas but yeah my she played golf so she would go to golf at like five in the morning and she was driving by this girl I don't want to name these people but this girl's house in the morning and his car would be parked there at five in the morning so he was like going over there spending the night

So she like sat me down. It was so drama. My sorority sister sits me down. She's like, I don't know how to tell you this, but he's cheating on you. And I was like, okay, act upset. I was like, no, no, no.

You're like rejoicing. Yeah. I don't have to kiss him anymore. He also used to bite my lip so hard it would bleed. And I was like, what is this? I hate that shit. I don't want that. But it would sober me up a little bit, honestly. It's a lack of awareness. Yeah. It's like, this is not hot. It actually hurts.

It was like a pinch too. I'm like, what is it? Like a little nibble. Yeah, it was not good. But yeah, I texted him. I'm like, hey, I heard like your car's been parked at so-and-so's house. And then I shit you not, two seconds later, I broke my phone. Like I sent the text, my

my phone cracked it was totally broken the next night I go out and he's like hooking up with a different girl in front of me and I was like and not even the girl broken up I was like what okay yeah awesome I'm like hanging out with the girl I liked for my sorority who didn't like me back but I was like isn't this awful he's doing this to me let's drink all night together let's have fun together and yeah and then he didn't know and then finally I told him I was like by the way

My phone just broke. And he was like, I thought she had... He cried. And he was like, I just thought you were the type of girl... Type of girl what? You're the type of girl who would never forgive me because you're too good for me already. That whole shmule. Okay, yeah. Just giving himself an out. I was like, you're right. This is men. They're all a version of this. It's crazy. Also, I can't believe the girl... Also, I'm going to bleep it out, but the girl who cheated on me, her name is...

No. Like, what? No. I'm, like, offended. That's some Oklahoma shit. Who names their kid that? It's so rude. Yeah. Anyway, that's my last, like, experience with a guy. So we never even got close. But I'm, like, he also... He never, like, even felt me up. So I've got questions. Yeah. I've got questions. Right. For him. Yeah, you're, like, what did you think? Like, you could have, like, let me in on it that I'm a lesbian. Yeah. Jeez. Also, I'm, like, I've always...

I don't know how no one knew, but I mean, okay, so that's got to be a different experience for you because I feel like anyone who's like hyper femme, it's easier to fly under the radar. Totally. Like forever. I feel like so many lesbians for generations, I don't even know how you identify with it.

the last hundred thousand years. But like, I really don't. And we've been like flying under the radar forever. Even, I could have probably married a guy and he would have been like, awesome. Yeah, totally. They love it. And I could be like, dressed like this. And they'd be like, that's my hot wife. Guys are so stupid. But,

Did that make it harder for you? Because you didn't have like... Probably people weren't like, Gabby, are you gay all the time, right? I think people were asking me. Yeah. Is there something you want to tell us? Like Shannon, we're on to you. Literally. No, yeah. Nobody...

Nobody really had any questions. I guess when I was a nurse, I had a really good friend who was a lesbian and everyone thought we were dating. I never was offended by it. I was like, oh my God, that's so funny. Hilarious. They would think like that, but obviously I think because they thought that

I would entertain it or I think people just think I'm like open-minded enough that I wouldn't feel like I needed to date like just men but yeah no nobody's really on to me why why do you think you didn't explore that with that girl were you just not attracted to her um I just never like I was in Colorado she was maybe like the first lesbian I had ever met since college this girl who is like like butch dyke got it got it got it

I'm like, I can say these things because I'm in the community now. Those words are yours now. We have to take them back. So, but, and she was like hilarious and great. And she was like always hitting on me. And I'm like, okay, this is funny. We have like see each other at parties and stuff. So I just never thought anything of it or never thought, you know, I was so hyper focused on men. Cause I think like, I, I'm a really sensitive person. Um,

Annoying. Bummer. Yeah. Literally sucks so bad. So I feel like whatever shit happens to me, like kind of me playing the victim already. It happens worse. I'm a woman, but I got it the worst. Yeah.

But I just really wanted, it was like, you know, kind of Midwestern Colorado where it's like your worth was about a man. And I was like, I was a nurse, I was dating doctors. And I'm like, this is going to be one, my meal ticket to like give me the utmost, whatever, like kind and,

And by virtue of having them as my partner, I would have self-worth because this is like what our life is supposed to be about. Yeah. So that's wild because I feel like you've changed so much since then. Like you're thinking always had like I'm like an insurrectionist. That's not the word.

Like some kind of an alternative mindset. Yeah. But I've always been so at odds with it. Yeah. Like suppressing it. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It's hard, I think, too, when you do fit in. Like when you can fit in, when you could. Right. It could that you could do that. You could have done that so easily, probably like.

on the surface maybe not deep down right but it's like so much harder because then you're really going against like the status quo of being like now I'm changing it all like I could have done it but I'm not gonna not gonna do any of that but I feel the same way even coming from Texas that like I had a lot even though I knew I was a lesbian like fully knew I was a lesbian and moved to California but my first girlfriend I was only like 23 and I was like I'm gonna marry this girl I'm gonna have babies with this girl because I still had so lesbian of you I

And I still had the Texas mindset of like, that's what you do. Do you want to get married now? Eventually. Eventually. I feel like.

I don't know. My parents are divorced and then multiple times divorced. So I've experienced a lot of chaotic relationships in my life where the thought of forever sounds gorgeous. Yeah. And then I also am like, is that real? Right. It's so hard. Yeah. But I also, I think yes. I mean, I definitely want to get married one day. I think the idea of like having a partner for life is definitely, I don't want to do this alone. Yeah. You know, same life's.

sucks a little bit yeah a lot of it a lot of it yeah so i would love to have a partner but my time frame has changed so much i mean already like i thought i was that classic i was like i'll have my first kid by 28 and then my second kid i'll have by 32 right now i'm 32 like my eggs aren't even frozen yeah it's not looking good right now for me and yeah the kid thing too i know i watched

I watched a few of your podcasts, too. Oh, yeah, yeah. I feel like that comes up for you a lot. Yeah. Like, people really want to ask you because you don't want kids. No. Yeah. Not really. I mean, I'm always, like, just, like, being a lesbian. I feel like I always allow my mind to change. Like, I'm never...

not that I don't believe what I'm saying, but I'm never so firm in my views. Yeah, you're not like rigid in anything. Right. That like I can't allow my mind to change. So I understand that things might change later. Robbie is, I've never seen her with kids, but I hear she's really good with kids. That's cute. And she's so good with animals. She's just like,

We should maybe have a baby. Right. She's just so funny. So I think once like my ovaries start to shrivel up, I'll be like, holy shit. Like then it's like the countdown. We got to have a baby right now. But I think both of us are kind of on the same page where we had such crazy traumatic childhoods that like one, now we want to be kids again.

We are just now feeling stable in our lives. Yeah. And like, I don't know if I want to relive childhood. Yeah. When I was a kid. Or like, it's like maybe my next lifetime. But... Yeah. Sometimes I think I struggle with, first of all, the world is so crazy right now. Totally. So it's like... What are you bringing them into? Is this place awesome? Yeah. And...

I just like I feel like so many people kids are like a narcissistic like appendage like you just want to do live like yeah through your kid right and I kind of like my life like I'm kind of stoked about my life I don't feel like I need to fix something that went wrong for me and be like right you could have been I could have been like a professional ice skater like I don't have like that like thing that I need to fix through a kid yeah yeah I'm like I mean I think it probably it probably will happen

But yeah, I'm the same way with you. Well, I used to be like, I'm 100% having kids. No question. And then I think it was basically during like COVID, like a height of COVID. That was like, what? Maybe.

Why? Why do I want to do that? Actually, like actually asking myself that question too, because I feel like before that, I never even thought it just was like, obviously. People have kids. Yeah. Yeah. But I do think I would be kind of cute pregnant. Yeah. I'm like, do you want to have your own kids? I feel like I would, but it depends if I get...

If these guys shrivel up in that time, it is nice that there's two wombs involved. Right. Yeah. So I wouldn't mind if my wife did too. I don't know. Or like one of each. I think I would like ideally do reciprocal IVF. Which is? Like I would carry her egg and she would carry my egg. Okay. Because you have to do IVF no matter what. Right. Right. Right. So I mean, I guess you can do, what's that other one called?

Where they just shoot the sperm inside of you. Oh, like a turkey baster. Yeah. But it's called something else too. An artificial insemination. It's another thing of IVF. It's like RVF or something. I don't even know. But it's not, it doesn't work that often anyway. So they recommend that you take the eggs out and then inseminate, inseminate.

Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. I don't even. You. Are you a nurse? I should know this. I know. I know. But I don't. I mean, I guess ICU nurse is a little different. We're not dealing with a whole lot of IVF. Okay. Yeah. Checks out. But yeah, if you already have to take the egg out, I think it's kind of like there's something sweet. Yeah. And they say too, like even when you have a surrogate, like.

a straight couple with a surrogate, some of the surrogate's DNA gets into the baby. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. So I'm like, I want some of my DNA to get into the baby. Yeah. And then when your kid is like older and like, fuck you, mom, you didn't even carry me. I could be like, and you're my DNA. Yeah. And you were in my womb. So actually I did. We're all connected here. So you're still grounded. Yeah, exactly. I'm like so future thinking. I'm already ready to fight with my kids. Like, what the fuck? Right. Don't even have like a wife. Right.

I don't know what I'm doing here. Yeah, you're building it up in your head. I'm ready to go. I'm going to get them on this point. I'm preparing. Do you and Robbie live together? Not yet. Okay. No, it's definitely been a topic of discussion for a long time. It's crazy that it's been for a long time because you said you haven't even been together for a year, right? Right. But it's been on the table for a long time. Yeah, maybe for like six months. Okay. Which it's like not, I mean...

We didn't totally U-Haul it. She did say she loved me after two weeks. Okay. Yeah. And she was like, I think you love me too. And I'm like, what the heck is going on here? This bitch is actually crazy. This is being a lesbian, I guess. I don't know any difference. Right. And then I'm like, I think I do. You're right. You convinced me for sure. No, but we like...

I think it's nice. We both have individual places that we love and she travels a lot. So it's like every time we're like, let's pull trig, we kind of, we don't get into a fight, but something comes up and we're like, we don't know if this is the right time. And I feel like that's a good thing to force us to slow down. But yeah, I think just with her traveling so much, it would not even be more convenient, but it would just like, like,

it would be better use of our time. Yeah, because then when you're together... We need to live together, right? So we can see you more. Have you lived with a partner before? No. And did you ever even want to? Never. I wanted to be alone. You can keep your apartment. I'll keep mine. Thank you. Let's take our time. Which I did think I was low-key would do that, but...

I am used to living by myself. I've lived by myself for like almost 10 years now. Wow. Yeah. I've never lived by myself, which is crazy because I am 32. I'm like, my roommate's always...

Hi, bald. It's me, Trixie Mattel, skinny legend and board-certified HVAC sommelier. And me, Katya Zamelichkova, the sweatiest creature in showbiz, reminding you to subscribe to the Bald and the Beautiful podcast. Listen as we cover topics as varied as proper bidet usage, celebrity impression tutorials, and a television show I recently watched that I'll base my entire personality on for six weeks. As well as creative pest control, tasty limeade recipes, and fun sex activities.

We also chat about boobs and movies and wigs and stuff, which is obviously the public service part of the podcast. So get ready for screaming, cackling, and some occasional educational moments as two massively unqualified queens talk about what it's like to be the epitome of fabulous. Go subscribe to The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie Mattel and Katya Zomoletskova on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you're listening right now.

I also travel a lot and I feel like I feel safer if I'm gone that someone is here, you know? But I did live with a partner once and it was... How was it? Well, we were... It was that first relationship, so we were really young. So in my head, it was also like kind of for...

because we were young and broke. Yeah, totally. So I was like, what are we going to do? We want to move to LA. We can't afford to live in LA not together. So it was like that kind of vibe. Which I get that. Not always ideal. Yeah. But it's like sometimes it works out. Yeah. I mean, I would...

Now I always say I don't, I would rather not live with a partner until I'm like ready to get engaged. Yeah. If I could help it. Yeah, yeah. Even if it means we spend the night at each other's house every single night. Right. I still think just like having space, especially because of what we do. I don't know what your day to day looks like, but I work from home. So. Yeah. Like my space is like all my space is my space. You know, I'm just like, I don't know if I want to.

get that all confused with someone yeah unless my partner had like a nine-to-five job and was going to an office like no actually you have to go from the hours of nine to five that would be I that would be perfect I never know yeah I don't know it's weird do you feel like it's nice dating a comedian or like someone who's in the industry compared to if you were dating like

an ICU nurse? Yeah, no, absolutely. She, she's been in the industry for so long, you know, for like over 10 years, she's been doing standup forever. So I feel like just as a resource, it's really nice. That's true. Yeah. And she, she just gets it like not even that we sometimes she'll like want to talk about comedy stuff all the time. Like, can we just not talk shop? Like this is like not hitting for me.

Talk, talk. Yeah. Like maybe with like your other friends, totally. So we have. Your other friends. You're like, I'm your girlfriend. Remember? Yeah, exactly. No, I know. I'm like, you treat me different. It is hard though because you're both girls. So sometimes you're like, sometimes it gets a little confusing. I'm like, are you my best friend? Right. You are my best friend. And then you're my girlfriend. And then you're like. Yeah. And you definitely don't want to be coworkers. No. Yeah. I'm like, do you? I don't know. I know. I'm like, yeah.

yeah what more can we do together right yeah I want all your time um but no yeah it's really nice she just travels a lot for work which like I don't know how I feel about yet it's like is she on the road like some percentage of the year is it like six months out of the year she's around like it could probably it would probably yeah add up to that like maybe maybe five

50 to 60 percent of the time she's home damn but yeah she's gone quite a bit so and like she's like come with and I can but I honestly like and I feel kind of entitled that I get to say this but like I don't like traveling that much I like to see new shit but I also it's like we live you know it's so nice here where do we want to go exactly I love it here yeah I feel I feel like

Some of the best relationships or I guess there's one relationship I know. Yeah. My friend, her parents, her dad was an actor and her mom lived in LA like full time. And they were basically like long distance six months out of the year for a lot of her life. And she thinks that's why their relationship is as healthy as it is. Yeah. Because they got to miss each other so much. Yeah. And then when they got to be together the time was...

was so intentional like they like really cared but that's that's ideal like five years into a relationship I feel like right in your first year of a relationship you're kind of in that yeah where I want to do everything with you like let's hang out where are you I want to drive to your house like literally that's a different time in your life yeah and we met like when she had gotten like

out of a WGA strike meeting and then we met or started dating. Yeah. So she was like fully on strike. Like the industry was kind of down. I didn't have anything to fucking be

do yet yeah I was like not doing much so we spent so much time together I'd say in the first like whatever six to eight months and now it's like reality's hitting so it's almost like you started dating in like COVID right in quarantine yeah yeah and I'm like fuck did I take all that time for granted because we were new and I was always picking fights I'm like how much do you love me

I'm dead. Because you're like loving someone so much probably for like the first time. Not the first time, but in a different, it's just so different. Yeah. Like girl relationships. You said something interesting in a podcast I was listening, I think it was the Vinny one, where you were saying because there's not gender roles, you guys get to kind of make them for yourselves. Yeah. Is that, how is that going for you guys? I'm like, I go back and forth. Yeah.

I'm like, I am a feminist, but also not. Yeah. Okay. Fair. But, um, no, yeah. I'm like, I feel like not having gender roles allowed me to fall in love with her. And like, that's what, cause not that there was so much expectation on a man. Um,

But it was like, yeah, why aren't you smarter? Why can't you treat me or at least meet me? It's like the bar was actually lower for them in a way. And now it's like she's meeting all these things that I don't even have to ask for. And I'm not really expecting her to make all the money. I don't like her to. I'm not opposed. I'm not opposed. Yeah.

But yeah, I don't like need her to open the door. I don't have to have her make me feel like a certain way. So I feel like we're just meeting each other. Also, in my mind, I guess maybe it's more this. It's like we're a neutral playing field. I have no expectations of kind of how I'm supposed to be treated. I'm like, she isn't. No. Is it normal if they hit you? Yeah.

You ask me. You're like, so in my relationship, this is happening. I'm like, no, no, no. Like, but there's no, but we do joke. We're like, we're girls. We can hit each other. Like, that's not funny.

Like, let's not do it though. Yeah, exactly. So yeah, I feel like just all of my expectations were out the window. So we kind of got to build a relationship from scratch. Totally. And you have like no expectation at all because you've never had that experience, right? One of the girls I dated who had never dated a girl before, like I remember kind of the beginning of us dating. She was like, you never hold the door open for me. And I was like,

I'm a lady. Like you could, we could do it. We could both do it back and forth. But I feel like just even the, like we would walk through a door and I would hold the door open like this, like behind me. Not like, you know, like you go first. Yeah. Yeah. And I never even, I never even thought about it. Cause like,

again I never really dated men like I dated in high school so I dated boys yeah and they didn't know what the fuck they were doing I have to doubt they opened any door for me yeah but yeah so I that was like an interesting experience because when she said it I was like oh my god is that something you want I guess I could do it I can do it yeah you're like walk back through that

door let's go back outside and let's do it again and I'm like do you want me to open the car door I can do I can do those things but it's not like inherently gonna come to me because that's not my expectation because I never had that before totally so it's like I think especially when you're first like

female relationships just like a lot of communication of like yeah is that your expectation I didn't know so just yeah let me know totally which they always say they're like going with no expectations kind of and like everything yeah but now it's like really rings true and I feel like it has helped also I would never like ask anyone to hold the door open for me yeah I'm like and it is kind of nice because I feel like it's like

Well, Robbie does like to like pay for dinners, you know, and stuff like that. But now that we're kind of more getting into our relationship, there's no like real expectation. We'll switch off. We'll split. It just doesn't matter. Yeah. And it's like I don't feel like when in the past it's like you would fucking know if I was paying for more. I would let you know.

Like if it was 55-45, you would know. Really? Yeah. Because what else are men good for? Fair. I don't know. It's like I've never even met one before. Right. When I have a guy friend, I'm like, huh.

It's like a monkey around, you know? I'm like, I don't even know. What do you think about? What do you... I have like one guy friend, like close male friend, and he's bi. So I'm like... Yeah, right. So you're like, you don't count. Yeah. I'm like, you're different. You're evolved. Yeah. You think differently than straight men. But I probably should hang out with straight men. You don't really need to. I don't think I do. Yeah. I'm like, this is actually the first kind of like very queer space that I'm doing like a

podcast or like anything for work because I come from such a straight world yeah so I'm like oh I feel like the conversation is gonna be like so easy and nice yeah someone gets you whereas hanging out with the men you're like oh my god like you are this stupid yeah it's like pulling teeth a little bit yeah I've never even been like I don't think a straight guy would ever even like invite me on their podcast there's no crossover there they would straight men love Robbie

That checks out. Gay men love me sometimes. Yeah. They're like, why do I kind of think you're hot? I'm like, I don't know. This is confusing to me. I'm not trying to give you any vibe. Just so you know. I don't think you're hot. But it is weird. It is weird. I don't know. It's weird being a more masc lesbian in spaces. Like how you...

how you're perceived versus like, especially I've dated, every girl I've dated has been super femme. Okay. And then going into gay bars with those women, it's kind of, I've had experience like Ackbar. Do you know that bar? Yeah. I've been there once with an ex of mine and these gay guys to the left of us were like, okay, and now we got all these straight girls in here because I was like at the bar and I think my hair was long at the time. So from behind, I'm sure...

That's all. Men are like long hair. Yeah. Yeah. Literally. Now my hair is short. They're like, right. Okay, sir. I'm like, okay. Night and day. Yeah. Getting on airplanes. People are like, excuse me, sir. I'm like, look at my face. Right. This is a man's face. Yeah. I'm a,

tiny girl. Right. Yeah. Treat me as such. Yeah. But no, these guys at Akbar, they're like, okay, now these straight girls are coming in the bar, taking over. And I turned to them. I was like, we're lesbians. I'm gay. I belong.

I was like, oh my God, this is so embarrassing. Like I'm having to fight for my right to be an Ackbar. Yeah, I've been to Ackbar when I was straight. Nobody cared. Also, yeah. Oh God, don't want to open it. Did you see that whole controversy like on TikTok of that girl? She was like the straight girl at the gay bar. And she was like, lesbians were mean to me at the gay bar. Whatever, lesbians probably loved you. Well, it was like a lesbian bar and they brought all these guys, I guess. I don't know.

I mean, that's annoying. Yeah. Like men, they already have their own space. It's like lesbians cannot have their own space because it's infiltrated by men. Yeah. And also we can't keep any of them open because lesbians get in relationships and are like, and we're staying home tonight. Yeah.

So true. We have wine at home. Why the fuck would we go to the lesbian bar? What are we going to do there? I'm like, what's the point of socializing? I'm done now. I have everything I need. Me and you, babe. Yeah. Do you have a queer friend group? No. I'm like you.

you. You're my new friend. I'm poaching you. You can be in my friend group. I guess a little. I shouldn't say no. One of my good friends is bi and she's dating a girl so we hang out quite a bit but it's like you know we always hung out when I was straight too. Yeah. And then Robbie has a lot of queer friends but it's like for as much as we travel I feel like

I don't know, just our age too. Like we're just not all like intermixed. Yes. But most of my friends are straight, I'd say. Unfortunately. Unfortunately. Yeah. Okay. Well, you can hang out with me and my friends. They're all gay. Everyone's gay here. So yeah, I think it's nice.

It's nice to have gay friends to talk about things with because as much as being in like a straight relationship is the same as being with a woman. Like relationships are relationships. Totally. But there are like intricacies and things that are really nice to talk about with other queer people. Especially, I don't know how you feel, but when you're navigating being a newly queer person too. Like to be able to ask those questions of like, are we all hitting our girlfriends? Exactly.

Like you beat yours up too. So what are you guys doing behind closed doors? Let me know. No, but it is helpful. I feel like that's also why I wanted to start this podcast because I feel like a lot of people don't have queer friends. I get a lot of feedback from people being like, where do you find your friends? Like where, how did you make these friends? No, literally even traveling. We just got back from London and I'm like, oh,

I just for being such a big city, I feel like there'd be more lesbians, but they were just none. Well, I think I saw a couple maybe like at Robbie shows, obviously, but anywhere I look, really, it's not. And it does. It's like whenever you're at events like, you know, we went to Cape Orleans premiere. And so there was lots of like lesbian couples and stuff. And like you look at him, you're like, holy shit. It's like looking in a mirror. Yeah. It's exciting. It's so fun. I love to see gay people out and about. Yeah. Lesbian.

Yeah, literally me too. I like stare a little too long at them. Yeah. You're like, kiss. I used to always be like, are they sisters or are they lesbians? And I'm like, now I'm just like... You're like, still, are they sisters? Just...

What's the truth? No. In 2024, now I'm like lesbians no matter what. Yeah. In like 2010, I was like gay. Are you friends? What's going on? Yeah. Even when I see girls holding hands, I'm like, oh, my heart just like melts. Yeah. It's so crazy how like thirsty you are for representation and just because it makes you feel normal. Yes. That's what it is. It's just so validating. Because it is so normal. I think especially when you're when you first experience it.

Like you're like, this is exactly what I can tell in my body. This is what I should be doing. So this is right. This is right. But I can't see myself anywhere else. So I still feel kind of like wrong. Yeah. And now it's so nice. Well, I was going to ask you about this too. Like how you kind of,

I think you said in an interview. Sorry, I'm like, I did research, okay? No, that's me too, but not my guest, yeah. But I think you said in an interview that you watched a show, the one with Francesca and Abby, right? And that kind of like was a...

tipping point of it you're like I could probably explore my sexuality totally do you think like reality TV I think reality TV could be that for so many people if these showrunners would just like right do anything gayer yeah give us some gayer shit even the queer ultimatum I think really did that for a lot of people yeah I don't know if you watched it but I did it was kind of brutal because

Because I'm like, we need good representation is the thing. And I feel like Francesca and Abby were like good representation. Yeah. You know? Well, like healthy. But.

But the queer ultimatum is already set up as a show to show unhealthy dynamics. Right. Even the street version of the show. It's just so much pressure. It's two people who are in a completely, it's also fake, right? That can't be real. How are they finding that many people who are like, I want to get engaged tomorrow and they don't. Yeah. And so like, I'm fine cheating on them.

like right in front of their face. It's like that's – It's a crazy concept. It's a crazy concept. Yeah. Naturally, they would be the ones that are like, okay, yeah, we want like queer people on, but it's like we need some legit shit. We need like love stories too that are sweet or like that we're rooting for. Are you comfortable? I know. I'm like I have to – but I'm just trying to do it discreetly. Trying to do it.

I'm like, you are moving. No, this happened to me yesterday. I filmed yesterday and my leg cramped up and I didn't know what to say to the people I was talking to. I'm like,

okay i'm dying but i'm like this is my own fault i did this to myself uh okay anyway hopefully queer representation in in uh reality tv will get better also i'm stoked for every bachelor bachelorette person that comes out i'm like fuck yeah oh my god thank you yeah i know becca tilly did it yes so early i'm like she's having she's coming on my podcast too oh my god fun yeah so yeah

It's exciting. And then Clayton, I mean, that was... How did they let him be the Bachelor? No, I know. I heard rumors. Like, everybody, literally everyone knew. How could you not know? Yeah. As a viewer, you're like...

The sweet gay boy. No, actually. I feel like they kind of did him dirty for that. Yeah, they shouldn't. I mean, at that point, I feel like he was so down bad and in the closet because I think he was like a football player. Yeah. And just like all the pressures. He's like the all-American perfect little sweet guy.

Right. Closeted boy. Yes. And it's like, you just can't put him in a position because he will fuck himself up. And he did. And he did. Yeah. I know. The girl that he chose like through hell all because he was trying to like live this lie. I know. It's so sad. When it was happening, I had so... It was so hard to watch the public reaction to that. This is so funny because this is like old, old.

old news but the public reaction like they were I feel like he kind of got vilified by a lot of people like people being like

and that was crazy of him to do that especially because he's gay like he did all that I'm like he did it because he was like you have to be the girl like I think she was his last hope of normalcy in his mind he's like if if it's not her then I have to come out yeah and that is terrifying I mean it's terrible position to put that girl into but I obviously he wasn't coming from a

conscious mindset. It was like desperation. Yeah. Yeah. It was so sad. I know it's really sad for the both of them. Yeah. Which is like, yeah, it is such a straight place. And especially, I think men are still just so repressed with their sexuality that it's like,

just come out already so you can be bi too you don't even have to be fully gay i know it's so hard and then it's but then people like bi guys have such a bad breath i know i'm so hard i don't know how i feel about bi guys honestly i say that and i'm like i don't know if i believe it like boys be bi but right but you're obviously gay yeah literally but you're gay yeah

No, I feel like that's like such a stereotype, but I do have my bi guy friend. Yeah, I know. Good for him. What's he like? You'll have to meet him. Confused. So is he gay or straight? Right.

What do the girls think that he dates? They don't care? He's like kind of like an artsy kind of guy. And I feel like people are... I think if you can back it up. Yeah. With like... He's a musician. Totally. And they're like, yeah, you probably are bi. Right. Of course. Yeah. It works for him. Okay. Do you identify as... What...

What do you identify as? I don't. I'm very fluid with it. Okay. Which, like, maybe the community I know is maybe... I don't know. I'm new here. But thanks for having me. I'm new. Just to lay the groundwork. Just to get myself out of anything you might say. But I feel like, yeah, I think everything is a spectrum. I feel like if you're not straight, you're gay. Yeah. Basically. Agreed. Which is, like, cool.

But as far as like bisexual, lesbian, I think it's just easier for me to refer to my relationship as like a lesbian relationship. I think that's fair. Yeah, because it's like what's currently going on. That's my experience right now. It's like, you know, the bi girls who always have boyfriends. It's like, OK, put your money where your mouth is. OK, let me fucking see. Munch that rug. Oh, my God.

I'm fucking dead. But so it's like this to me is the opposite of that. And it's like, I don't even, it's like, yeah, I am attracted to men physically for sure. But I think it just goes beyond that. And I think a lot of lesbians and queer people feel the same. It's like probably everyone's pansexual. I feel like if with like with society's,

I feel like if we were all thrown on like a deserted island and we had no culture and no idea of anything and like our brains are washed. Right. I think everyone would be fucking everyone. Oh, absolutely. Like things would be way more just attraction based and it wouldn't be like, oh,

Men have to dress like this. Women have to dress like if we didn't know. Yeah. Any of those things. I think it makes way more sense that most people would be queer. Completely agree because I am. It's like gender and sex are different. Like like is gender construct like I think so. Because like what about in the caveman days where they making the girls put a bra on. Yeah. I'm still pissed at like the sexualization of nipples. Yeah.

And I will not get over it. Yeah. Me either. You're right. It's crazy. Yeah. I just think like, right. Our culture and obviously society and the men, they just like, it's easier, I guess, to be binary and then they get to put themselves on a pedestal. But I completely agree. Yeah. Yeah. If we were washed of all of that, you just like meet somebody that you have chemistry with that you're attracted to. Totally.

And I also think everyone would be like non-binary. I feel like because we would have no, how could you, there would be no binary, right? If we all just were thrown or I don't know where we would do the same shit we did. Maybe if there's a man there for sure, which is the binary.

But some alpha male would be like, yeah, you guys over here and you guys over here. Yeah. And then we'd be fucked again. It would probably in time that would happen. But I think they say like Greek people, like they all were fucking all like having orgies and stuff because everything was just pleasure based and not. Which makes sense. Yeah. Why are we torturing ourselves like this? Even monogamy sometimes I'm like.

why did we choose that? But then I'm like, don't fuck anyone else. When I'm sleeping with someone, I'm like, it's us, right? Yeah. Yeah. Just to be clear. I know. I feel like people think like, whatever, if you're like queer, you're poly, but it's like, I don't think so. Like if you're a lesbian, you're more monogamous than the straights as far as I'm concerned. Well, now I don't know. I feel like everything is getting so open. I know. Are

Are you okay? No. Okay. You're a dancer too, right? I know. Yeah. But I've never had like the flexible hips plus like that's in the back. Yeah. Years past. Except for when did you do your dance? Yeah. Like that's in my past. Yeah. That's in my, I'm gay now. I don't talk about BC. Everything is new now. Yeah. This is your new life. Before gay, after gay. Are you having fun? Yes. Okay. I love to run my mouth. Okay. Perfect. Yeah.

Me too. Also, so nice to meet you. I'm so glad. I knew that it was going to be fun because I watched so much of your stuff and I'm like, this girl seems so normal. I mean, like so easygoing and like easy to talk to. Yeah.

I feel like most people who are doing anything in this space are able to show up and kind of turn it on, you know? Oh, I agree. And then, which is nice. But the pressure, it's been interesting being the host, which I, you'll... It's scarier being the host. Yeah. I like being the guest because, like, you don't have to prepare. It's not your fault to, like, guide the conversation. If it's bad, it's like, sorry, that was your fault. Every podcast I've gone on, I'm like, this is a joy. Yes. This is, like, I could be here forever. I know.

But with mine, it's just like, fuck, is this going well? I've only had a few where I got a little bit like...

is this good? Is this okay? And I want them to be, I want them to be whatever they're going to be. You know, like I don't want to set expectations of if they're silly, like I want it to be silly or if it's serious, it can be serious, you know? Yeah. No, I agree. But I mean, ideally I prefer to be laughing a little bit. Yeah. I'm like, no, same. I know. Cause I kind of want on mine too. I'm like thinking like shooting for the stars, but I'm like, also I like to keep everything like,

It's so hard. So I don't know how I would navigate that and feel like it's cohesive. But yeah, I feel like listening to a couple of my episodes back, it's like some of them have a different vibe, but I feel like it's a reflection of your different relationships with people and how you can navigate and stuff. Totally. I also feel like I'm kind of a chameleon a little bit in that I will match the other person. Yeah. I'll say shit that I don't believe in.

You're like, I will lie. I will lie. Literally just to make him feel comfortable. I'm like, totally. Agreed. So valid. Me too, honestly. There was a couple of things I said in my last episode where I was like, fair. And in my head, I was like, I actually don't. Not fair. I was unfair. Right. But you're like in such an intimate environment. How do you not validate them? How do you just like school them? Yeah. I don't know if this is a bad question to ask you. No, please. No bad questions. Yeah. But.

Do you have any fear or does Robbie, I guess, have any fear because this is your first like female experience that you would ever want to explore hooking up with other girls? I think there was maybe in the beginning. I mean, the beginning was such a whirlwind that I was kind of like, I don't know what the fuck's going on. I just have to follow my heart. And like every day, you know, I wanted to be with her and I wanted more of her. So I think both of us are...

are just ready to like be have it be it yeah like you wait for it's timing it's the it's the right point in your life in the right person and I feel like we see that in each other totally we work so hard in our relationship that I feel like maybe if I was younger I was gonna say I also feel like there is like an element of our age totally like okay I've kind of even if yeah I've slept with people

or I've done right I've dated people yeah I've dated too many too many men I've been engaged yeah I've kind of done it all right yeah I just I know sometimes but it's like I know lesbians who are single who have a hard time like finding girls it's like we we just got really lucky in the way that we met and it's like it is like like kindred spirits I feel totally also like I think sometimes when you when you know you know or so I'm told

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Clearly it's not. I know. That's what they say. Yeah. And I feel like it is true. Like, I just... I also just, like, don't really have a wandering eye, though. Yeah, me either. And neither does she. I'm like that, too. When I'm dating someone, it's like I become...

I like I don't even understand other people are attractive. I'm like, you know what I mean? I mean, I do. Obviously, I'm not like blind. Yeah, but I'm but I've just like become very I'm very monogamous. Yeah, same. Very so sometimes to a fault, I think so. Yeah.

No, just like, like, like, I won't let them go. Yeah, that and like, I'm a serial monogamous. So kind of like, yes. And now it's my next girlfriend. So it's something it's just really hard. It's so hard dating women because you do feel close to them faster. And it's like, why would I jeopardize something if it like feels good? And it's like going well. And then you're spending so much time together. Then you're really close. Then you're like,

It's just like a complicated... I don't know. I can't compare it to anything because I never dated men. But it does seem to be like a common thread between queer women that I know. Yeah. I feel like you're right. And like luckily...

I don't know. We've both done a lot of work on ourselves and have both been in other relationships. So we have like not expectations, but I guess boundaries with ourself and the other as a partner. And it's like we know what we want and what we need. So I feel like that's helpful too. Because yeah, I feel like the lines get really blurred. Yeah, they do get really blurred. I have had experiences dating people where I'll be like, ugh.

I like look so bad and they'll be like yeah me too and I'm like wait no that's when you say no you don't let's circle back let's circle back or I'll be like yeah I look so tired today and they'll be like me too I'm like no girls just making it about themselves I'm like I'm your girlfriend I'm not your friend like you have to please yeah that's like a weird it's like

It's like one of those blurred lines where you're like, wait, we're not friends, remember? Like, I'm your girlfriend, I'm your girlfriend, I'm your girlfriend. Yeah, I feel like Robbie did a really good job at the beginning of our relationship that, like, set it up romantically. That's sweet. Yeah, she's just like, I don't, I honestly don't even know how to describe her still. Yeah.

But she's just I don't know. She has. Yeah. She just knows what she fucking wants. But after our first date, she like pulled over and the whole date was really romantic. She was like, you can sit closer. You can hold my hand like all this. And we were like really flirty.

And then she pulled over and she was like, okay, I'm going to kiss you. Yeah. So it's like, doesn't make things weird later, but she always set the tone of it being romantic. That's so sweet. And I feel like we've kind of held on to that. Yeah. That definitely helps if you can like set that from the beginning. Yeah. Do you feel like it was, do you feel like Robbie's like a good person to be,

It sounds terrible, but like an intro, an introduction to women, like she's kind of like patient or... She's like a natural born teacher. She, you know, she's one of 10. So she... Okay. Yeah. Holy shit. Surprise. What number is she in? She's seven. Holy shit. Okay. Yeah. So like a lot ahead of her, but and kind of below her after. But so they like all raised each other. So I feel like she kind of has, she really...

like held on to, I think the mentoring, teaching kind of like parenting. So she does it in her own way. Not that she's parenting me, but she never really shied away from the challenge, which was nice. She was never really scared. Like, cause I had questions obviously. And it's like, you don't want to offend anyone. So we were talking just pretty openly right at the beginning and she never took anything personally and just was really good with like explaining things, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it definitely takes it.

It takes a certain person. I wouldn't. Like it won't be me. It will not. Yeah. It definitely is. There's like a certain brand of lesbian that's like. Yes. We can figure this out together. Right. Yeah. I will. It's such a weird, weird kind of thing because yeah, you don't want to be like, oh yeah, she's my like teacher, like Mr. Miyagi or something. Yeah, exactly. But then there is obviously like an element of.

and guidance and being like, okay, and this is, maybe you would want to do this. It's weird for me because I have dated a few people who've never dated girls. And I wouldn't say, I wouldn't say like sexual communication is my biggest like strong suit of being like teacher vibes. Totally. Do it like this. Yeah. I'll show you like that. Well, I also think that's like just kind of being a girl.

Yeah. I feel like it's not, at least when I was having sex with men too, I never felt like empowered to really say what I wanted. Yeah. It's like hard, right? But I feel I've learned, I've gotten like a little bit better at that because I also realized in the end, both parties are...

You have to. By like lack of communication, right? Yeah, yeah. And it really helps too if you're the more experienced one and you're hooking up with someone a little less experienced if they're asking the questions. Because if someone verbatim is saying, what do I do? Right. This, now. Yeah, yeah. Then you could be like, okay. Yeah. You could do this or you could do this. But if someone doesn't ask, because there's also, I've had experiences too where someone's just like, I'm not going to do this.

I'm going to figure this the fuck out. And you're kind of like, oh, yeah, this isn't what I signed up for. Maybe you should ask a couple of questions and I can tell you. But yeah, yeah, I don't know. It's a complicated thing. And also every every gay person had a first gay experience or like a first gay experience.

That mentor person, you know, at some point it does happen unless you're just like sleeping around, I guess. But it seems like more, more often than not, someone is like the relationship you have where they're kind of like teaching, telling you. Yeah. It sounds weird, but it's like kind of the truth. Yeah. You kind of have to take it like upon yourself. But I also feel I don't, yeah, it's like everyone's different and what they like. So it's like you have to learn new and the beginning,

Totally. Totally.

Totally. So it's like you really get to know because you're not afraid to ask. Yeah. And your walls are down and you feel safe and you're like, OK, we're going to keep doing this. Better be good. Yeah. Yeah. Right. But there is like I feel like even for me, even before Robbie, like with having sex with men, I had like a like just I feel shame, not like shame, whatever. Like I'd still do it. But I like I was fucking believe me. Yeah.

I would keep me from having a good time. Yeah. But it's like I wasn't saying anything. Yeah. I wasn't asking them any questions. Yeah. And they weren't really asking me. So then like now having sex with women, I feel like it's it's honestly it does feel safer and more connected because I feel like there is an open line of communication. So it is. And like that's

That's another way to enjoy sex is honestly just by like talking about it. Like it gets you excited. Yeah. And like, yeah, I think women just have a, whether you're gay or not, we have like an understanding of other women in a way that is so different. Yeah. But I, I have a friend who said like a lot of times sex with men and felt like men just using her as like to masturbate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I can corroborate that. Yeah. Which I feel, yeah, I also feel is interesting because then sleeping with a woman, like I feel like sleeping with men, men have no expectation of a woman finishing really. Not all men. Right. But, you know, it's not really...

a priority. It's like, they definitely will, maybe you will, right? Yeah. And it's kind of weird then switching to sleeping with women because it's like, that is kind of an expectation. Yeah. You know what I mean? You're like, I do hope that that will happen. Right. Even if it doesn't happen, it's fine. But that's like the goal is both of you trying to like do that, right? Because it is like redefining sex in a way because it's not sex and like, it's like, lesbians are virgins. Really? If you think about it. Yeah.

I literally, I'm like, that has to be on my TikTok. Lesbians are virgins. We are. Yeah. We're sweet little virgins. All of us. Yeah, Mother Mary.

So it's like I know Ravi and I kind of talk about it too. It's like what we get to you know like make it our own because there's no like definition which is kind of fun but also very confusing because the two like coming at different times has like really fucked me up. You know? Yeah. I've talked with people about that too. Yeah. Because also I think

There's an element of straight sex where you're both feeling something exactly the same at the same exact time. That also, yes. And then you can kind of lose yourself. I don't know because I've never done it. But like I would assume you could get more lost in it because you're doing it exactly the same time. Right. You know you're getting pleasure at the same time. I feel like it's something in your brain that like takes something immediately off the table. Like you're not worrying like, okay, so when are they going to get their time?

Yeah. Yeah. Totally. I can't even imagine. It's got to be. It's different. It is different. Yeah. And it's different, which you don't you're not going to experience probably. But it's like different from girl to girl, but like a lot different. Like I'm sure. Yeah. I had a friend on this podcast, too, who slept with men for a long time and then came out later in life, too. And I was like, I mean, I'm assuming like it's different from guy to guy. And she was like, not really.

Not as much as you think. No, literally. No. And I was like, yeah, it's crazy. The difference is in their skill level, like how interested they are in like pleasuring the woman. Yeah. But as far as them, it's like they're all too pump chump. Yeah. It's just like, okay, that's easy. But girl to girl, it's like, it is different. It's crazy. Every time you're kind of learning a new thing. I always say it's crazy.

It's crazy. It's 2024 and people still ask me, like, how do lesbians have sex? Yeah. I'm like, we scissor. And then I'm like, I don't know. We don't, really. I'm going to put a survey out. How are y'all having sex? Like, it is, everyone is different. And I have so many lesbian friends and our definitions of sex vary person to person. Yeah. And I, because I always say, I feel like. What are some definitions? Like, what?

Like some of my friends are like, okay, if we're both trying to give each other an orgasm, that's lesbian sex. Okay. For me, I'm like, if we're both like naked, I feel like that's lesbian sex. Like if we're both in bed, lesbian sex. If I have my sports bra on the whole time, maybe it was just a hookup. Yeah. Like, because also some people, I feel like sometimes I've hooked up with people. It wasn't like sex, you know? Right, right. Yeah. But there's like more of the emotional. Yeah. Like, or like if I just fingered someone, like,

guys just finger girls all the time and they would never be like I fucked that girl yeah right so that's no fun exactly so yeah I don't know I feel like every it's so different and it's

It's like different person to person. I don't know. I'm still learning myself. Yeah. Yeah. Which is kind of nice because I feel like, yeah, it doesn't really matter. Like the experience you have necessarily as it is like being intuitive and wanting to learn about your partner. Totally. And that is the same as straight sex too. Yeah. Or any kind of sex. That's just sex. Right. Or it should be. Yeah. Anyway. Okay. Yeah.

This has been so nice. Thank you for coming. I don't want to sit like this anymore. Personally, my hips hurt also and I'm not a dancer. So we got to get out of here. You guys can follow Gabby on all her socials. I'll put them in the link below and also check out her podcast. It's out now. And yeah, long winded. Begging. Yes, I'll do anything.

I'm sure it's going to be great. I haven't gotten to hear it yet, but I'm already endorsing it just based off this conversation and everything I've seen of you on every podcast ever. You're hilarious. Also, please follow her TikTok because I need you to enjoy that content with me. It's unhinged. It's an acquired taste. Everything will be an acquired taste. Yeah, but the taste has been acquired by me. So you guys need to figure it out. Okay. Thank you for coming. Thank you so much. This is so fun. Yeah.