The Key to Success- GRIT! EP 42
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From the art of the deal to keeping it real. Live from the Simply Vegas studios, it's The Power Move with Jon Gafford. Back again, back again, back again, back again, back again. You know what?

Guys, you know this is like episode 42? Sure. Well, really 43, but we have 42 on the books because the lost episode, as we call it. The lost episode. The lost episode is still. The best thing to ever have. Released in the box. Released in the box. We got to have something for the DVD. You got to have something. But

Welcome to the Power Move. My name is John Gafford. I am your host. To the left of me is Colt Cheese Grits. Amadam, how you doing, Colt? What's going on, guys? And with us, as always, is the counselor, Chris Connell. Chris, how are you? Living the dream. Good, man. I got to tell you, we got a cool show today. You know what? Last week, I got to tell you-

Every day can't be Halloween. You know what I mean? Every day can't be Christmas. Every night can't be New Year's Eve. And last time we did this, I felt like we mailed it in a little bit. I did. At the end of it, I was like, man, I was ill-prepared today. I was not prepared. I felt like the show was bad. Is that old man grandpa advice? Yeah. I mean, I just felt like it was. I felt like... Were those originals at all times? Yeah. I felt like I thought... I kind of grabbed something. I thought it was going to be okay, and then it wasn't there. But today...

The rice cakes came through. Well, they did, but that part was good. I'm not going to lie. But we're going to talk about something important today, which is grit. It's how to have grit, the importance of grit, and all of those things. Because I got to tell you, I saw something this weekend that was, I mean, amazing. The only way I can say it is amazing. And I have never been glued to social media, watching social media stories like I was this weekend.

And I was sitting there watching this and it was literally one of the most amazing things I've ever seen. And what it was, was Jesse Itzler. If you don't follow Jesse Itzler, Jesse Itzler was a founder of Marquee Jets, now married to the lady that founded Spanx. - Part owner of the Hawks. - Blank, part owner of the Hawks. I mean, all around amazing dude. He's entered and done a million companies. Jesse is an amazing cat.

He has a mastermind group called build your own, build your life resume. I mean, just the dude is a, is a beast written several books and just lived with Goggins for a month, live with Goggins for a month, but it was all an amazing guy. But he did something this weekend that was incredible. And what it was, was he went in and participated in ultra merit and ultra iron man. Oh,

Oh, boy. Ultra Ironman in Arizona. And I was kind of like, you know, Jesse, he runs races all the time. He does stuff like this all the time. I'm just going to do it. But nothing to this level of what he did. So for Ultra Ironman, for those of you guys who don't know, it was in Arizona. Day one, they go out there, and it's a nine-mile swim in this lake outside of Phoenix. And, man, the weather was so bad, it looked like the ocean. I mean, it was a choppy nightmare. The water was 57 degrees outside.

They only got probably maybe two-thirds of the way through this one before they literally had to pull them out because it was dangerous. Like people were just, you just couldn't, they were going to drown if they didn't pull them out. So they pull them out and they said, you know what, we're going to call that good because we can't complete it, it's fine. And then they jump on the bikes and do a 90-mile ride on the bike, which seems like a lot until you realize the next day they did another 150.

80 miles on the bike. Yeah. So all in all, inside of 24 hours, they did 270 miles on the bike. Right. And this is not just flat ground. This is like 9,000 feet of elevation outside of Arizona. And then when that was done, the third day is a 56 mile run. Wow. Double marathon. Right. So I'm watching him do this dude. And he,

The level of perseverance and the level of grit that he showed to get this done was absolutely mind boggling. What it was, it was just, it was, it was insane to watch this. And I, and a couple of real quick takeaways about this. And then we're going to get into what we're talking about today, which is, which is really a detailed, great book about grit. But when I was watching this, a couple of takeaways, number one is,

You know Jesse's a guy that owns that owns a deal called all-day running company, right? The guy is a runner. He runs every single day I think and he is a guy that has you know is a runner so when he runs he looks like a runner Yeah, he looked like he was a hundred and twenty years old barely dragging his body and

On those last on the marathon. I mean, it was he you would have thought he was 100 years old. If you just rode by on your bike or rubbed by in your car, had no idea what was going on, had no idea what was happening. You would have thought, my God, that that is that is a hundred year old man running because it looked ridiculous. So my first takeaway from that was he people that are high succeedors and succeed at a high level could give an absolute rat's ass how they look doing it.

Because they're not doing it for you. They're not doing it for style points. They're doing it for something internally burning inside of them. And that grit is making it happen. That's why they do it. Ask me about how I look during my triathlon. How'd you look during your triathlon? Not good. Not good. Not good. Right. Because you're grinding it out. And then here's my second side of the coin, which is this, which is when you see people doing something, you encounter people through life, right?

You don't know if they're on their first mile or their 56th mile. So don't be so quick to judge people because, again, if you rode by him in a car, you'd be like, look at that dude. He barely – nice form, genius. Look at that non-athlete. Not realizing the dude had just ridden like 200-something miles on a bike, swam nine miles, and was running 56 miles. It was bananas. Do you understand what that is? Like have you ever done a triathlon or have you ever done like a marathon or half marathon? No. No.

5k yeah like honestly you're out of shape yeah you go run three miles get up off your ass go run three miles if you have it's hard if you're not a runner it's hard you tell me about how that first mile looks well that's why you know the guys that were doing it with him he had a whole team of course it was helping him walk away and bring him food whatever else and one of his buddies was doing it and his buddy at one point um was like i trained my ass off for this for

eight months to be here right now he has not trained at all other than his normal running and training Regiment I cannot he goes I can't fathom how he is doing this I think I can do it here we go well you know what funny you should say that I'm probably like him I don't even need to train for it yeah hey I'm gonna tell you this I'll put this on the record yeah I'll sponsor I'll sponsor your next Iron Man

Sponsor cult for the Ironman. I'll pay your admission. I'll pay your lodging the night before. I'll pay your plane fare. It is now a matter of record. You have to complete it without walking. It's not impressive. Just a normal triathlon. It is. It'd have to be something hard for me to want to do. Ironman? Nah, not impressed. It'd be a hard one. Sorry, guys. Not impressed with the Ironman. I would have to... Have you done an Ironman? I mean, I wake up, I do stuff.

i do 15 minutes on the elliptical have you ever swam in open water yeah it scared the out me i'm serious i mean like a mile yeah no not mild but i've swam no no not sharks like a lake i did mine out in palm springs yeah in that lake and well even like that it's the salt no no there's a um a recreational area out there palm desert

I don't think so. Thank you. You're in for wrong. Now he's arguing geography. He's very familiar. Are we going flat? Are we at some point? It's not, it's just, it's just a couple miles North. It's adjacent. There's a whole lake. Palm Springs adjacent. Anyway, that's where they run the triathlon out there. And it's kind of like a recreational area out there and whatever. Um,

Even in calm lake waters. First off, when you have all these other competitors around you swimming, it's not calm. It is freaky. That's why you get out in first place, Chris. You're getting smashed. You get out in first place and then you don't have to worry about competitors. Yeah, swim half a mile one time in the open water and then we'll see how impressive it is. Yeah, and we'll see how it is. You know...

I think, look, high level people all possess a super level of grit, man. You know, something else. I mean, not only am I watching Jesse do this this weekend. So shout out to you, Jesse. It was amazing. Amazing what you did. But I was at dinner on Saturday. You're such a dick. But a Goggins will be like, yeah.

Yeah, it's a Thursday. Thursday for Goggins. There's just levels to this shit. So never compare yourself against somebody else. I'm naive. I don't know what Goggin is. I'm sorry because I think even extreme athletes, that's a lot, man. That is a serious thing. But there are extreme athletes that go, yeah, I can do two of those. I can do all day of those. There's that Bigfoot 250 where they run 250 miles. Yeah, that's a lot. The Bigfoot 250. I did 5K once. Cam Haynes did. So I was climbing Mount Whitney one time. Again, my old man athletic achievements. Yeah.

Cam Haynes in a mountain that takes people usually two days to climb ran up and down it. He did it in like four and a half or five hours.

And just to, just to do it. The tallest mountain in the continental United States. And he ran up it. He ran it in like five and some hours. What say you Colt? I think I'd do it in four hours then. Not impressed. Not impressed. Not impressed. I did have 5k once. Um, thought the girl was cute. So my thing was I'd always flirt with her and she was a runner. I'd say kick your ass. That's my flirting. Right. And she called me at 1130 on a Friday while I was drunk at a bar and says, Oh, I forgot we have 5k in the morning. I,

I literally had people running by me going, oh, it smells like tequila. Still won. Fueled by tequila. That's the extent of Colt's athletic ability. That kind of training is not going to get you to the Olympics, Colt. It's not going to get you there. I feel like I got a way better shot being an Olympian than doing a two-a.

You know what? I'd say you're correct. I think that's correct. No, that is impressive. There's no way in hell. There's been thousands and thousands of Olympiads. Very few beings. I have to psych myself up to get in a car for 300 miles. Well, we're going to, we're going to find out just how much grit you have a little bit later. Colton, we actually give you the grit test on the air. You know what I don't like? Yes. Grit test. I'm guessing.

Grits. I don't like grits. Cheesy grits? It's just all grits. I'm not a huge fan of Adam and Sal. I'm going to give a shout out right now. I'm going to give a shout out. I went to Super Frico at the Cosmo on Saturday with zero expectation of it being good. Again, it was the only Cosmo restaurant I could get into short notice. I'm going to burn that giant comp I have up over there before MGM takes over. And dude, that was the best Italian meal with the exception of Carbone I've had in Vegas. It was that good.

Even better than an Italian-American club? It was that good. Better than Piero's, better than all of them. Better than, I mean, better than Ferraro's, better than all of it. It was that good. We watch your tongue, sir. No, it was that good. You might be fired. Well, the good news is I still have over $1,000 on comp, so we can all go there and I can prove it to you, which is not a problem. I will take this gauntlet. Yeah, we can make that happen, which is good.

But yeah, so I did that Friday and then Saturday, I went out and we went to Bardot at Aria and I went with the top brass at Rocket Mortgage. They came to town and took us out because we are the number one broker for them here. And actually here being Nevada, not just being Las Vegas. And they were nice enough to take us out, which was lovely. And I got to talking with their main guy's name, Mike Fawaz. Great dude, super nice guy.

And he's just kind of telling me a story and he's from North Africa. Um, where I think it was Senegal was what he was saying, if I recall correctly. But again, this is a guy that moved to the States when he was 17, got off an airplane in the middle of winter in Detroit without a jacket, just a t-shirt security guard. Yeah. Security guard gave him his jacket and,

And, you know, just his family just made their way. And he's one of the top guys in Rocket Mortgage and just hustled his way to getting it done. And you hear those stories and you're like, I mean, I just it just it's like a loud noise in my head, which is what is your excuse? All of these people in this country that were born and just have this sense of entitlement. It's like, bro, look at this dude. This guy's amazing. And you can be amazing if you just put forth the effort and have the grit. If you just had a bit of adversarial mentality.

You just had some adversarial in you. That's exactly right. So, you know, I went back when I was going through this and I was thinking about today because I wanted to be prepared and I did some research and I found a book called Grit on the subject of grit, not grits. Sorry, Cole. I don't like grits or Tom Hanks. Real quick, speaking of grits, the polenta at Superfrico is...

Another world another world other world. You can't keep talking about Sorry, there we go. Anyway doing tonight. So let's talk I'm gonna tie it to have some notes here from the book grit by Angela Duckworth Angela Duckworth Yeah, and essentially what it is is I'm gonna just talk about some key Components of that book and we'll discuss them But the number one theme with having grit is talent is actually less important than grit for achieving success

People that are talented have a less probable chance of ending up successful than people that have grit. And it's funny because

You know, people with grit are more likely to succeed at whatever task they set themselves, whether they use determination to achieve good or evil. Colt, you're good there. Talent, on the other hand, seems to have little correlation with overcoming obstacles. And this is the thing that I thought was really interesting because it talked about a study where it said in 2010, 210 child prodigies, researcher Joan Freeman found that only six of them went on to sweeping adult success.

So child prodigies, either incredible at whatever they were, Doogie Howser playing piano, chess, whatever it was. But of the 210 kids that would be considered prodigies at something, only six of them wound up being uber successful in that field. I thought that was terrible. Now, did they get into it as to why? Because here's the thing. Now, a lot of times people, I don't want to get into the weeds, but a lot of times these kid prodigies, they have a degree of autism on their spectrum, right? So they're extra super talented in one area. Yeah.

Right? But if there's a social, because here's the reality, John, too. People that are good with others are usually successful. Yeah. People skills are more important than any task skills, right? Yeah. Would you say? Probably true. And that probably comes down to grit too, right? People that don't give up on others. Yeah. I think when something comes so easy, it's like,

The straight-A student that doesn't work at it, right? The guy that's working his ass off for C's is going to be more successful. Who was the soccer player back in the day? The youngest Nike guy, Freddie Adu, whatever. He did nothing. He did nothing. No, but he was like Capraji. He was like in every rap song everybody wanted to, and then he was playing in Vegas. How many championships did Iverson win?

How many championships did D. Rose win? We're talking about practice. Practice. Practice. We're talking about practice. So you take a look at some of the most talented NBA guys, arguably. Still the best quote ever in the NBA. Oh, God. Whatever. But at the end of the day, look at Dennis Rodman. Yeah.

Do you think Dennis Rodman was a talented basketball player? No. Dennis Rodman said, I want to become the best rebounder the game has ever seen. And he was. That's what I want to do. And that's it. I didn't care if he could shoot. Didn't care if he could do anything else. Rebounding is not a talent. Just want to rebound. That was it. Rebounding is pure great. All heart. All heart.

That guy might be the grittiest athlete ever. Well, I think gritty with him takes a new word now. He's also one of the grittiest people. He looks a little gritty now. But the study on these kids, the study on these kids showed that one of the reasons that they didn't do that is because, A, a couple things. Number one, maybe they didn't love what they were doing anymore. But more often than not, they became discouraged when their peers started to catch up with their abilities.

at the work that they had to put forward to stay ahead of them. So it was easier for them to just quit than it was for them to try to continue to doing what they're doing, which I thought was... I saw a thing on social media. It was Jay-Z actually speaking. And I was like, I'll listen to it. And his whole thing was...

You know, I put blinders on. I didn't mind that other people had multiple number ones over me. I didn't care. I was running my own race, which I think that is key sometimes because, like you said, you look at other people's success and it can make you frustrated. To your point, though, and to John's point about adversity, right, the guy from Senegal. Yeah. Take a look at Jay-Z raised in Marcy Projects. Right. Jay-Z single mom. Yep. You know, Jay-Z, you know, all these things, right? So...

Yeah, no, I thought that was great. I mean, put blinders on, run your own race. Oh, yeah, for sure. Let's see here. So now what we're going to do is because the next part of this book, they actually have a grit test.

So I thought what would be fun, and if you want to do this, if you're listening at home, you can go to AngelaDuckworth.com. That's Angela spelled the normal way, Angela, and then Duck like Duck, and then Worth, W-O-R-T-H.com. So if you want to do this at home to check your grit, or more importantly, I would say maybe your kids, if they're teens, this is a good little test for them. Not a lot of big words, so it should be easy. Colt, so here's the deal. Oh, I'm doing it? Yeah, we're doing this on you. Of course we're doing it on you. Who else? Do it on Colin? No, we're testing you. That's the whole point.

So here's the Grit Scale test that has 10 questions. It is not a time test, although we'd like you to move it along because I'm sure the people who are listening to this are like, how long is this going to take? So the answers you can answer very much like me.

Mostly like me, somewhat not like me or not much like me or not like me. So you have your five variants, somewhat being in the middle, not much, and then not like me at all. So you have like yes, no, sort of, sort of, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Yeah, yeah. So you have very much, most likely, somewhat, not much, and not like me. So question number one, here we go.

New ideas and projects sometimes distract me from previous ones. I would say middle on that one. Middle? Somewhat? Yeah, definitely. That's fine. All right, cool. I got you. Number two, setbacks don't discourage me. I don't give up easily. Towards the higher. That doesn't bother me. Mostly? Yeah. Okay, so a little over medium? Yeah, yeah. Okay, got it. Number three, I often set a goal but later choose to pursue a different one.

Somewhat. Somewhat? So right in the middle? Yeah. All right. You can be just like Luke Warmwater, baby. Yeah, no. Luke Warmwater, right in the middle. I am a hard worker.

I'm more a smart worker. Somewhat. You've got to love the honesty. I know, but I'm not. You've got to love it. I tell people all the time, I am not the hardest working person. I am one of the smartest working people. This is where I'm going to give you credit, because to me, I read, am I a hard worker? It's one of those questions like, are you honest? Yes. Like, nah, not really that often. A little Larry David moment. Everybody's like, yeah. I don't know. I like smart working. I got it.

Number five, I have difficulty maintaining my focus on projects that take more than a few months to complete. No, not really months. So not much like you or not like you at all? Not much like me. Not much like you. Okay, got it. I finish what I begin.

Oh, no, that's, that's probably, I, I nix a lot of stuff once I see where it's going. So. Okay. So not much like me. Not much like me. Okay. My interest changed from year to year. Not really. Okay. Not much like, I mean, if this wasn't my twenties, I was a lot different right now. I've been doing this 20 years. So, so not like, so we're going not much or not like me.

and my interests change uh not much like me not much like me okay i am diligent i never give up uh i would say not much like not much okay i have been obsessed with certain idea or project for a short time but later lost interest no not much like me not much like me okay i have overcome setbacks to conquer an important challenge oh yeah

Okay, very much like me? Very much, yeah. Okay, there you go. So let's see what Colt's score is. You ready? Not ready. Colt comes in at 3.40, which means he scored 40% higher of American adults in a recent study. What is that, out of five or ten? Well, out of five. Out of five. Three, four. And that's brutally honest. Yeah, he was being honest. I would say this. The test gives each individual a grid score of a scale of one to five, with five being the most. A grid score of 3.8 is about average.

And a score of 4.9 puts an individual in the 99th percentile for American. I'm not that person that's going to put my mind to go run. Chris is probably way more like it. I will. Yeah. Like if you sat here and said, let's go run a marathon.

And I had to go do it. I'm personally embarrassed. Well, I thought it was interesting. I thought, you know, anytime we can give you some sort of psychological test. That was intriguing. I like it. I think that's good airtime to give Colt psychological tests. We're building a case, Colt. Yeah, I know, right? So I always had to be – so for sports, too, you always got to be a little greedy. But I was playing football, tackle football at 12 with 16-year-olds. Yeah. Yep.

That's because you were probably like 6'2", 300 pounds. I had to cut weight to play with 16-year-olds. Oh, Jesus. Do you have the X on your helmet? Sounds like 180 pounds at 12. Oh, my God. So playing with that, you know, a bunch of real bullies and assholes, my dad would always be like, why don't you quit? And it's like, fuck you, I will never. Yeah, I'm not going to let these kids get the best of me. I will never let you know that you got me on something. Not letting you get the best of me. Not a chance. I'll go to my grave to not let. I want my enemies to live forever so they can see what I'm doing.

Fueled by a lot of spite. A lot of great things in this country have happened fueled by spite. I am definitely one that I will fuel stuff by spite. Probably more than... I'll fuel more by spite than out of positive. Well, let's look right now. What's being fueled by spite? You mentioned earlier. No, but you had Trevor Noah

actually say, shit probably wouldn't be happening if we had Trump in office. How is the president of the United States not getting phone calls returned? It's embarrassing. That's embarrassing. And sorry, that's not going after one side or another. It's not politics. That's just embarrassing as a country. Like I said, I wasn't a fan. I'll put my cards on the table. I didn't like Biden or Trump. I didn't like Trump for a lot of other reasons. I don't think he's a wealthy, successful man.

I don't. But I don't like Biden either because I think he's just as much of a career politician as all these guys just under the auspices of being a man of the people, right? So that aside, Trevor Noah...

The host of, you know, the Daily Show. You're talking about very establishment left media. Yeah, hard left. Hard. And he goes, this is shameful. Trump would at least get the call because he's a wild card. And he wasn't advocating for Trump. He's saying Trump is such a maniac that Saudi Arabia has the phone because you may have a preemptive strike happening if that phone doesn't go to the second ring. Well, that's the point. Unfortunately, and this is...

You know, I don't remember I heard this a long time ago. I was talking, I'm in a conversation with somebody and they were from the Middle East and I was asking them, this is right after 9-11 and I was having a conversation with somebody that I knew that had migrated the States from the Middle East. And I said, you know, can you, can you break this down as simple as you can, as simple as you can, can you break it down? And their response was no.

The United States wants to try to negotiate their way out of a problem with the only answer the other side wants is for you to be dead. Yes. And when you're dealing with that, there's no negotiating. If it's an all-in proposition, there's no negotiating. You're not going to give them land. They're not fighting for land. They're not fighting for power. They're fighting for you to be dead. That's it. Well, that's a very – yes. But the point being is sometimes the only way to fight crazy –

It's a little bit crazy. So do you know who Fisher and Urie are at the Harvard Negotiation Project? Oh, I had lunch with them last Thursday. I'm kidding. Getting to yes, though. Getting to yes. Are they dead or are they alive? No, no. It's one of the seminal sort of books. Okay, you know these people, Colt? Yeah. Yeah, getting to yes. Okay, I'm sorry. Getting to yes. I'm sorry, yes. Fisher and Urie at the Harvard Negotiation Project. With me, you need to lead with

the book and i sometimes don't remember the author but i do know the shocker i actually did that that harvard course the actual negotiation mastery oh sure like you went to harvard so what that whole course is designed and multiple books and i've read them all and it's been a big staple not through my mba program but as well through the harvard negotiation project is that yeah getting to yes when you're negotiating it's about all these different principles in negotiation right

how to collaboratively approach, how to, what's your best alternative to a negotiated agreement? The BATNA. The BATNA. I teach that all the time. Yeah. And that's a getting the yes principle. But there's this book they put out about dealing with irrational people and irrationality in negotiation. And it's, you sometimes have to understand what your BATNA is, right? Much better than,

with a sociopath then because you can't come in there and beat up sledgehammers with sledgehammers sometimes you have to just you know cushion the room around a sledgehammer you know you got to figure out okay I understand I'm dealing with irrationality right now so

I can't use rational thought to try to overcome something that won't have the same logical step up in base. Okay. Let me back this up. So, so one basic honest question and not because of friends, not because of politics based on strictly wild card factor. Yep. Okay. If Trump was still in office, do you think this shit's happening? No,

No. Well, I have my own problems with the way that... Answer the question, counselor. I'm asking you a direct question. The point being is based strictly on the wild card factor of Trump. No, not on the wild card factor because Putin and Trump had a different relationship that was highly criticized as well. And when Trump was saying things like, oh, Putin's so smart and all this other stuff.

He's said it multiple times. And again, I understand why you don't need to instigate escalation. But real quick, but here's the, okay, let me ask you a question about that because this has been a, I mean, again, I saw a morning Joe clip the other day where they were just smashing that and where he said how he was a genius and how smart this was and blah, blah. Do you think, and again, this is a media, this is not a pro Republican anti-Democrat. This is a bashing the media idea that,

I saw what Trump said. Multiple times. Multiple times I saw what he said. Right. He was making a comment of, it was almost like what a man can do, he will do. So based on that, the fact that he had no fear to do it, it made it smart. I don't think he was in support of him invading the Ukraine. No, no, no. And I agree. I think that gets taken out of context. I think that's a win in context. I'm not saying he's like pro, you know, marching into Ukraine. But I do think that sometimes when, you know, to the hammer, the whole world looks like nails.

And so a lot of times, Trump, if you read out of the deal and the negotiation strategy and all this stuff, and again, my criticisms of Trump happened way before he was ever the president, right? I'm one of those people. It has to do with nepotism. People inherit money that pretend like they're successful. Like, John, you, Colt, and I are more successful to me because it's relative to where you start to where you end. Hmm.

That to me is success. The stretch. Success isn't when daddy- My kids? Losers. You're a loser. Trump is a self-made millionaire. The problem is he started off a billionaire. And so at the end of the day, I've had criticisms about it from a business point of view.

But a lot of times people look at strategy as zero-sum games. And so he's playing a game of risk. He's kind of watching this dangerous game of risk and going, oh, that's a great way to take over. Right. Right, right, right, right. That's a great way to come into Uzbekistan and do this or that. And to me, I go, when you're talking about domestic relations, foreign policy, we saw Trump was a poor diplomat in the way he handled himself around other diplomats. He doesn't know how to play that game very well.

So to him, he's looking at it. Although I did like the Putin shot, though, when he grabs him and just yanks him until I'm like a little rag doll. I like that one. That was a power move handshake. I think Republican, Democrat, whatever it is, I think you appreciate that handshake. That was a power move. Putin is a...

He's somewhat impressive as a human being. Aside from being a dictator and a real piece of shit at that, right? He has a lot of probably grit in his own right. Coming up through the ranks, he's a judo black belt. I mean, like, the guy is not...

He's not Justin Trudeau. I think we're dealing with a lot of people running countries right now that aren't necessarily sharp in the drawer. They're not the sharpest knife in the drawer anymore. I think there's some senility seeping in. I think this is about legacy for him. It is. He sees the end of what it is. He wants his big statues. And again, I understand the whole issue about Ukraine and teeing up for NATO, right? Yeah.

And Putin has a good point. And let's call a spade a spade. He doesn't want missiles on his doorstep. If he did it to Canada, we'd be just as mad. And again, you know, United States is a friend of these countries until you're Libya. Yeah.

So there's been a lot of attack. United States has got such dirty hands and everything. It does that when it tries to, okay, real quick, not everything it does. This is America, son. Well, all right. I don't like the way you ain't gonna come in here from your Canada bullshit talking about just love it or leave it. Connell love it or leave it. You son of a bitch. All right. There's 200. There's been over 250. Oh Jesus. We're going to have a deport. Where are you? I'm not looking for you for backup. And I'm not looking for you.

I'm not getting caught. Hold on. I'm about to defend it. He's American bashing. I am so mad that Tom Hanks is playing Pinocchio because can we not get an Italian American? Why do I even engage him in this? But to finish the point, there's been over 250 military interventions since World War II. When we don't like something, we go in there and we fuck it up until it suits our interests, right? Now, that has a lot of tertiary benefits in the world through things like –

over the seas, which creates safety for other countries. Sometimes having the biggest bully in the yard with the biggest stick is safer for other people. I trust the United States not to use nuclear weapons, right? But the only country that's ever used them has been the United States. So I understand a lot of times if you were Russia, if you're China, you're going, you know, you don't always have the best record in terms of how we're treated, right? That's their position, and I don't agree with it because they exhibit a lot of human rights abuses. Does Russia make us look like just...

so much more amazing i mean like they're supposed to be what the second largest strongest military they can't even take over no they can't even take over i mean they are they have soldiers freezing well did we couldn't we didn't exactly population and a fraction of our of our economic output yeah we didn't exactly take over afghanistan we were there but anyway all right we're gonna take quick break and uh see if we can get chris deported when we come back we'll talk more about grits

United States has freedom of speech. Stop it. America. America. Canceled. You're the reason why. Hey, it's John Gafford. If you want to catch up more and see what we're doing, you can always go to thejohngafford.com where we'll share any links that we've things we talked about on the show as well as links to the YouTube where you can watch us live. And if you want to catch up with me on Instagram, you can always follow me at thejohngafford. I'm here. Give me a shout.

Back again, back from the break for part two today on the Power Move talking about grit. I am, of course, your host, John Gafford. With me, as always, Colt Cheese Grits, Amagen, Amagen. Cheese Grits, Amagen. I can't say the whole word. I should have said rice cake, Amagen. There we go.

And the counselor Chris Connell back with us. This is the moment of the show when every week I make my shameful pandering. For if you haven't done it so far, whatever you're listening to us on, give us a little like, give us a little five-star review. If you're watching us on the YouTube, give us a little like and follow. If you like what we do, there you go. That's my little pander. It's all I ask that we do this. And today we're talking about a book we just gave Colt.

A psychological test if you miss that in part one, you'll probably want to go and check that out But we're talking about the book grit by angela duckworth because man I this really is the key to your success if you don't have this If you don't have this in what you're doing, I don't think you're going to succeed. I think you're going to fail across the board I think there's luck involved. Um, but I mean, I don't think long-term success can be had without this. I just don't think so so

I think science would agree with you. Yeah, I think science would agree. But this is one of the things that I thought was really interesting about this book. And we're going to pick this back up because I thought this was super interesting when I read this, which is people with grit do not persevere in tasks that they hate.

Part of cultivating determination is identifying areas of interest and focusing on them to increase resilience and willingness to persevere. People should prioritize those tasks that encourage their passions, which is as much about quitting the wrong things as it is about sticking with the right ones. And I, I, I, now we got a cold, so gritty. We get, now I want to break this down because I think there's a lot of different layers to that thought process. There's a lot of different layers. So the first one I'm going to say is, um,

You know, there's an old saying by the nature boy, by Ric Flair. If you don't like it, you better learn to love it because it's the best thing going today. Now, we don't always get to pick things in our life, things in our job, going to the gym. We don't always get to pick things that we love to do. It's not how it works. But I think what it is, is you need to, and we've talked about this before, when you do goal setting, when you do projections, when you do these things, is attach those tasks that you genuinely despise

to results and outcomes that you genuinely desire.

I think that's where it talks about finding those in your passion. I don't think it means, I don't think it necessarily means like, oh, I don't like doing pushups. I'm just going to be flabby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I don't think that's what it means. I think that is a good point. Rest in Pete Scott Hall, by the way, with the Nature Boy shout out. Oh, dude, Scott Hall. The bad, you know what? What was it? What was it? Dreams come, shoot, hard work pays off. Dreams come true. Bad times don't last, but bad guys do.

Yeah, Scott Hall, epic WWE bad guy, passed away. Yeah, a little tear on that one, dude. Yeah. Yeah, he was awesome. He was awesome. So anyway, not to distract you, just threw out a Nature Boy quote, so I had to... No, I mean, hey, man. I had to do a Razor's Edge on that one. Anytime... I think you need a love...

I do think you need a love to go through, right? You're not going to get gritty on something you don't like. To John's point, right? It could be something maybe you don't love. Like that guy doing the ultra marathon, he doesn't love running and all that. What he loves...

is the conquering. - Sense of the conquering. - The accomplishment. - I think if you asked Jesse, do you love running? - He probably does. - I think he would say, I do actually love running. - He loves the endorphins, probably runner's high. - Loves the endorphins, yeah. - Probably not that long. - Not that long. - But to your point, you're talking about 1,000 cold calls will get me $10,000. - Yes. - That's 10 bucks a cold call. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I think, again, with that, I think it's easy to say quitting, grit isn't much about quitting the wrong things, it is about sticking with the right ones.

I think if you hate basketball, don't go play basketball. Sure. I think you're, I think you're short. I think, yeah, quit that. I think there's no reason to get good at an extracurricular activity. Well,

Well, and it takes away from what you want. Like I hated baseball, but I was actually pretty, pretty good pitcher and everything. I just like Olympic good. I probably could have. I told my dad, I go, yeah, I didn't make the team. He's like, fuck you. Didn't stop lying to me. I'm like, just didn't make the team. And I didn't go to tryouts. Like, but then I was able to focus on football and I got really good.

at what I wanted. So I think you got to get this stuff out of your life that you don't like. No, I saw your yearbook from high school. It said you played left out. Is that true? I did, yeah. Left bench, left out. There's a lot of stuff I hate about jujitsu, right? Yeah. But the things you like about it overcome and the fact that...

No, but no, no, seriously. Like you go and you're always getting injured. You're always getting banged up. So it's extracurricular. Yeah. But there's something in it. It's not like two guys wrestling or anything. It's all hatred. So, but don't quit just because it's difficult. So it's like, if you want, it's like America, there's a lot of things about America. You push through and stay here. See the best part about America is you can, I'm dead serious. My favorite part of America.

and I said this during the Iraq war, whenever he's talking about whatever, you can talk shit about America. I can get up there and burn a flag, and that is what people don't understand what's great about America. Not get killed. Yeah, I'm not going to get killed. The girl on the Russian TV, she'll be disappeared for a while. She'll be dead. So they'll send over people to her house because she talks shit about Russia. Here, you'll talk shit about the United States and get a syndicated television program and be totally safe your entire life. Is that what you're trying to do? You're trying to get a TV program without us? I'm not talking shit about America. I'm

He's going to leave us for MSNBC. That's exactly what he's doing. You're not good on this.

You'd look good on CNN. The beauty of America is that I don't have to share that guy's opinions. And she doesn't have to share my opinions. And you have a right to go out there and be free from government tyranny, right? So talk shit about it sometimes. Exercise your rights if you don't like it. People that think that licking the boot or saying, oh, all this is that, really don't understand what soldiers are fighting for, what a flag means. Freedom is that, right? I'm not free within your parameters. I'm free to say...

the United States government, right? Oh Jesus. The thoughts of Chris Cuddle do not reflect those in the power move. And then you're free to say you're a fucking idiot for thinking that. There you go. What's the worst state in America, Chris? Worst state in America is obviously New Jersey. The Garden State. You think so? If you're growing smokestacks, yeah. I don't know about New Jersey. That's a tough call. That's a tough call. No, worst state is probably like Alabama.

No. Gorgeous. Have you ever been there? Alabama. Gorgeous. Mississippi. I mean, still, again, you've got like Nebraska. Wyoming. Again, gorgeous. There's the thing. Okay, what are we talking? Okay, worst state by what? Just everything. By humans or by how it looks? Okay, humans. Humans easily. I'm not going to say. I'll get it wrong. By weather. No, let's not do humans because we could have weather. By weather. Yeah, weather's brutal. North Dakota would be brutal. That's where I moved from. Oh, Jeepers.

North Dakota. I lived in Saskatchewan. Can we get back to what we're talking about? Jesus, you guys. That was a cult moment. Look how gritty John is. No, I was about to start. We're talking about American stuff. I was about to start talking about corn dogs. Oh, God. There is a good corn dog place in Chinatown. Yep. Oh, my God. They got the corn dogs suck.

But do you know what are amazing? Cheese sticks. The cheese melted. Oh, my God. Corn dog is awful. No one likes corn dogs. But the cheddar cheese. Wait, nobody likes corn dogs? No, but have you had the cheddar cheese? Have you had a Disneyland corn dog? No. I'm an aficionado. That is, oh, my God. You know what? Disneyland, I only go and have the first. They got a hot link corn dog at Disneyland that is next level. Have you had that cheddar cheese? Smoky cheddar, like a...

No, just cheese that's fried? Yeah. I mean, no. Wait, you've never done that? No. Holy shit, we got something to do tonight. We are going to... No, I'm not super healthy, but I'm also not trying to deliberately kill myself with my food. Have you had it? Like Jim Gaffigan goes, I got kids. Have you ever had it, Chris?

No. What? Cheese on a stick. Oh, my God. I've had matzo sticks. I assume it's real. No. Tomorrow for lunch, you guys get one bad. It's not lunch. No, it's not lunch. Oh, my God. I bring it to fit boy every day going, how can I live longer, Colton? So disappointed in you guys right now. Not how we do it. All right. Gritty. But back to being gritty. So...

This is going to be one of those episodes that gets chopped up for the wisdom. It is chopped up. I feel so sorry for my guy that cuts this up and posts it on Instagram. He's going to be like, I can't. He's going to be like, bro, I'm so hopeless. I can't use any of this. No, there's literally going to be, it's going to be hilarious. There's going to be. Sedition. It's literally sedition. No, no. There's going to be a whole clip on Instagram that says, why corn dogs are good. And people that follow me are going to be like, unfollow. Like this has officially jumped the shark. They are.

Just saying. We got a new venture to go after Cabo. We'll let the beach bodies go back. Yeah, our beach bodies will do it. So the next thing I'll talk about is this. All right, ready? And I thought this was very interesting and very true, and people don't understand this. It's like, what do you think it takes? Colt, we'll ask you. What do you think it takes to get better at something? What do you think it takes? To get better? To get better at something. What's it take? Practice? Practice. But more to the point, you want to expound on that or what?

I guess it would just be depending on what you're doing, but I just think practice and experience is proper practice. When's the last time you saw a kid practice something by himself?

by themselves uh i see my kid do it all the time with drums and okay stuff but all right okay so okay let's talk about your kid in the drums all right when he sits down the drums what does he do to walk me through this what's he doing tell me about his practicing the drums let's uh let's i don't know because that is youtube up no yeah let's go guitar because drums i get mad at him because they're too loud but yeah he's got youtube he's learning like proper uh

He's self-taught. He's teaching himself, and he's just out there practicing where to put your fingers, how to hold them, that kind of stuff. Skills. But it's the same stuff I've never done. Okay. You know, when my son, when I come home and he's practicing lacrosse out front, when you practice lacrosse, which is his sport, you've got a repeater, which basically just is like a net. You throw the ball in, and it comes right back, right? And then we have a goal that you can shoot. Yeah.

And I catch him doing this all the time because he's practicing, but he's not deliberately practicing. What I mean is there's no thought to any of it. It's mindless practice. It's throwing the ball against the net and catching the ball without thinking about what he's doing. There's no thought to where his hands are on the stick. There's no thought to

Placement of where it is. There's no thought to the release point of where the ball is leaving the stick There's no thought and so I've got to go out there and say listen you got a every Rep you got to think about what you're doing because that's how you get better You can deliberately think about what you're doing when you're when you're shooting goals by yourself and throwing the ball into the net You're not just thinking about throwing it into the net You got to think about where in the net it's landing you gotta think about the angles you gotta think about what you're doing and every single rep has got to get better and

When I go out there and I practice with him, it's like, okay, look, I'm not worried about, cause he plays attack a lot in lacrosse, which is at the top of the crease, which means he gets a lot of balls and then you spend and you go to the net. And, uh,

For me, it's like when he gets the ball banging with a pad because he's gonna get hit by another kid with a stick and then I'm more concerned about where his hips are Yeah, then where the ball the stick and where the shocker is I'm looking at his footwork. I'm looking at where his feet go I'm looking at where his hips are and that's the stuff that we're going over It's that deliberate stuff of every little rep when those guys are you know? Like you talked about the guy that shot a thousand free throws after missing that night. I

he was more worried about where his elbow was and the hand and how the ball released from his finger and all of those things. And every single one of those reps, they were concentrating not just on the hoop, but on body control with each and every one. Every elite athlete concentrates on body control through

through every rep that they ever do. And perfecting the rep. Yeah, because if you're not perfecting the rep, if you're not really focused on what you're doing, you're not getting any better. Now, if you're listening to this and you're in sales, which hopefully a lot of you guys are because that's where the money is, let's face it.

not being a commie-hating attorney, like counselor over there. Commie, love an attorney. I don't know what it is. Anyway, but no, if you're in sales, like how do you- You're right, I'm a commie-hating. Well, there you go. How do you perfect the reps? You know what I mean?

I'm on record right now. That insult got away from me. It got away from me a little bit. I'm not going to lie. But how do you perfect the reps is the question. And the perfection of the reps is the most important thing you can do if you're a salesperson is record your calls.

You always hear it every time somebody calls you. This call will be recorded for training purposes, right? And it's probably just the company records all the calls and maybe somebody goes back and listens to it, maybe they don't. If you are in sales, you should be going back and listening to your own calls regularly.

Don't wait for anybody else and listen and think about it I mean when you get off a call like I mean if it's just like a hello and they're like Oh, whatever the hang up on you and you go off. I'm not worried about that I'm talking about when you have a call that goes on for you know, call it 10-15 minutes It's a good call where you're qualifying you're finding out how you can help them You're finding out what problems you can solve for that person when you get to a point in that call that maybe it falls apart and

stop and break that down in your head and say, what could I have done differently there? And really think about it and analyze it and break it down because those are reps, man. I mean, they're game reps. There's practice reps. If you are a salesperson, a practice rep would be script reading. Man, you got to go over scripts with people and use that. You've got to treat it just like sports. Like when I got out of college,

Playing football. I just turned down some scholarships. I'm like, I'm done. My dad's like, go figure out what you're going to do. And I ended up in sales. My dad goes, you need to treat this like you treated football. You need to practice. Did Hooters University give you a scholarship? That's you. I'm saying, I don't think you were good enough to get a scholarship to Hooters University. That's the real you. I...

Look, the real you. You should have had that on his camera. But my dad goes, you need to treat that. You need to treat your next step like you treated football, right? Like watch game film. You need to watch what you've done. I mean, when you leave a meeting, you should really sit back and say what went wrong and what went not right. What was good about that? You know what else that promotes? What's that? Self-awareness. Oh, yeah. I mean, in a very general sense, right?

People a lot of times aren't self-critical because it hurts. It sucks to look at yourself in a light that's not flattering. Of course. Ego is the enemy, buddy. Ego is the enemy. I would argue that you've got to be a gritty person.

No, no, no. I want to get in these trenches and clean up my gutters. And you should. I just had a meeting a couple of weeks ago. I walked out there. I'm like, Jesus, I was a fucking jackass. Because I didn't read them right. And then I'm like, I was talking too much. It was...

I haven't had one of those for a long time, but that sat there and bothered me. We try to go into these calls. We try to go into the situation. I think everybody has a situation. I don't think that's unique to you. People don't self-aware. Even Saturday, I'm trying to get better about...

self-validation in, uh, in situations where I feel the need to validate myself. There's no reason to do it. And every time I do it, the second I'm done with it, I'm like, what the fuck was I doing that for? Like, why did I feel the need to, I mean, and, and sometimes some stuff comes up in, in conversation, but the other times you're just like, find yourself like looking for places to drop stuff in. And it's so painfully apparent when you do it.

It's painful. And then you're like, five minutes later, I'm like, oh, why did I do that? I didn't need to validate myself. I thought of you the other day, John. I actually had. Hold on. It's kind of funny because we had talked about this before on the show about walking around trying to find people to show your Egypt pictures to. I showed my Egypt. I showed it. I literally met totally randomly.

with the guy who owns the Ramsey's 2 exhibit. He's in Cairo. Oh, my God. 30 times, you know, all the time. Well, you have to show him, though. He literally, if you go in the Cairo Museum, the pictures of the artifacts of Tutankhamen that aren't there, because he has them.

And I said, where'd you meet this guy at first? I think it's appropriate for me to bring up the pictures. And we started chatting about it. The guy was really awesome. He goes, let me send you a couple of things. I got a couple of things for you if you're really interested in this stuff. Absolutely. I want to put together a care package for you. Because that was the time where you use your life experiences to have a genuine connection with people. Yes. Yes. So,

I kind of had a flashback before I grabbed my phone to show him. No. I'm like, I remember. That's appropriate. It's such a fine line, right? It is a fine line. It is a very fine line. I think that's completely appropriate. It was kind of fun because I thought about that conversation. Well, even the conversation I had with the guys at Rocket from Saturday. It's like, look, I'm at that dinner because we're the number one mortgage broker in Nevada. We're booming everywhere we go and we're opening all across the country.

And they didn't reach a name into a hat, pull it out, take us to dinner. That wasn't the point, right? There was no reason to validate. And then it's like, you know, you're trying to find some common ground. It's like, where are you from? And they all live in Detroit because that's where they're based. And I'm like, oh, I used to live there. Oh, what'd you do there? And then we talk about Hooters, which isn't a flex, but it's a table full of guys. It's a fun flex, I guess. Yeah.

And then that goes, and then you're talking about some other stuff and this and that. And then, no, no, no, no. Egypt came up from, from Fawaz who's from North Africa. And I was like, I'd been in North Africa again, again, and then that came up. So that was cool. And then, and then as we were leaving, you know, the, the, the main dude asked me where, you know, why, how I got to Vegas real quick. Um,

And it was like, ah, you know, this and that and blah, blah. And you know, one of my, but you know, it's a guy that I was on the apprentice with his, his parents were already out here and he's like, wait, you're on the apprentice. And I didn't even, it just, that was part of the story, but it came out of your fabric. Yeah. But here's the thing, but it, but it came off like flex and it was like,

As soon as I said it, I was like, why? I'm used to telling that in the context of that story. Yeah, but there's also a thing about you can't hold back too much either because you start. Yeah, that's true. Because here's the thing. If you spend your life trying to do flavorful things, why are you trying to serve people water? It's like if you own a bit of flavor in your life, you should be proud of it. He just looked at me and said, man, you've done a lot of stuff. And I'm like, well, you only get one spin. YOLO.

That's it. You get one spin. So here's the deal. If you've ever been around a bunch of people and you've said too much about yourself trying to maybe feel like you need to do it to validate your existence, don't feel alone because I do it all the time and I feel like a jackass every time I do it. If I've done it to you, I am deeply sorry. And if you're self-aware, take a moment and ask them genuine questions about themselves. Exactly. Rebalance the conversation. Dude, my son. Holy crapitola. I'm going to give him like five gold stars because...

My son's communication skills, he's very bright. He's a great kid. He has been challenging for us lately. He talks at us. He doesn't talk with us until finally it was like, it's like, bro, when's the last time you asked somebody how their day was? How was work? How was this? It was every day you walk in. How was school? How was this? It's all about you. And then he comes down and it's like being on a quiz show.

where he'll come down because he's very into stats and figures he's probably going to wind up being a handicapper one day because he'll walk down and say something like hey dad do you know what team in the nfl it's like a quiz show do you know what team in the nfl in 1981 did x and you're like no and they're like oh the buffalo bills and i'm like

I don't want to be on your quiz show. I have no interest. If you have something that you want to talk about, pitch it as, hey, do you want to hear something cool? Hey, do you want to hear a fun fact? Whatever. That way, yes, I do. And you can just tell me the fun fact without me feeling dumb in getting it. You want to know what the five fingers said to the face? Smack! Is what it was. No, I agree. And dude, so we put him on How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. And he's probably, every day I come home, how was work today? What interesting thing happened at work today? Yeah.

That's good. And he's, he is, he is a sub, he is a creature of, of study and he's a creature. All of his coaches always say he's super coachable and super easy. So that's been, that's been good there. Can we talk about, you said five star coach,

Why is it four star, five star? What's recruiting? No, it's just, I get that. Why can we not have a scale? That's just the same. What do you mean? You get on, like you get on Amazon and it's like four star or five star review. And, and,

can we just not have a hash oh you're saying like why do some companies have four and why is it five is that not stupid i i don't you know what that this is why you should run for office right here this is the this is the platform you're talking about countries have meters feet stones pounds kilograms oh by the way did you did you hear what passed the house today what that everybody else should go to freaking no no they're trying to make daylight saving times permanent oh

Wouldn't that be so amazing? Where it doesn't exist anymore? No, where it doesn't change. Yes. Why would it change? I don't know. Because the farmers. No, it's not the farmers. No, it's totally obnoxious. It kills productivity for no reason. It's insane. There's no benefit. Hey, let's put the darkness after you get off work and maybe could have enjoyed an hour of sunlight. Yeah, no, it makes no sense. In the morning. Yeah.

Whenever he's still sleeping. Yeah. No, they're trying to. It passed the House today. Hopefully it'll pass the Senate. I violently hate that. Seriously, if that gets shut down, vote them all out. That is my vote. That should be a unanimous vote. Those are the issues that matter to me. Congress doesn't set the price of gas, but they do control daylight savings. Yes, exactly. Exactly. There should be. Take note, people. Whoever votes no against that seriously needs to be out. I'm coming after them. And Halloween should be changed.

what why at the end to the last saturday of the month no yes halloween should be changed but it doesn't matter here hold on hold on we have nevada day it doesn't matter we got a holiday but still i'm gonna get a day off before we get a day off yeah but it should it doesn't matter it just should it should be every saturday i think nevada knew better they were onto what you're spitting

No, no, no. Here's the thing. Because here's the answer. The answer is Halloween's for little kids, which they should be home by 8.30, 8.45 anyway.

or for sexy chicks that want to yes chicks chicks that want to dress like whores and go to the all night parts of the clubs and they don't care about work the next day anyway so there you go probably don't work till 5 p.m anyway you guys not drink when you give out candy of course party oh by the way real vips this is almost a cold thing i'm almost stealing some thunder real vips are the parents that sit outside with coolers and hand out true i do that we do that we do that

VIP. We hand out... Yeah, we don't do candy. We do like... Very important parents. We do LED like blinky things. We're all in. I mean, yeah, we do it. Anyway, back to grit. Thanks, Colt. I don't even know if that was you, but I'll go with you. Thanks a lot, Colt. That was four stars. We just needed to keep it that freaking...

All five. So this, shockingly enough, it says gritty people feel they have control over their fate and hard work can change their outcomes. Again, it always... That's a type A personality. It's like everything winds back at classic stoicism. It really does. If you are a person...

That feels the world is happening to you instead of you are happening to the world I'm telling you right now in all aspects of your life. That is where it starts. It's about locus of control So, you know, you ever heard people say that's a type a personality type B Yep, what that is is actually saying where is your locus of control? Mm-hmm if the locus of control is internal your type a you feel like you can't affect the world My kids really in church going with my wife me not so much but he always comes home like well, I

God wants it. No, no, no, no, no. God wants it. If you want it, God puts you on the planet, the ability with all your limbs, with the ability to talk with a working mind, like, no, that's all God. There's, there's a, there's a million people. I mean, there's a million people in harm's way in the Ukraine right now. And I'll think God cares if you can do a paradiddle. I,

I think he's fine. I don't think he cares. Good call, John. We're going to bring it back full circle. I know, right? I don't think he cares. And that's it. But they interviewed a guy on here. They were talking about a guy named Tony Krupica, who was an ultra-marathoner, meaning he runs those races that are 100 miles plus. And he said...

You have to have optimism that you can persevere and have some control too. He told deadspin, he said, you have the choice to be tough and not get down on yourself and just hang on because it will turn around. Eventually these guys that run those ultra marathons, a friend of mine here in town named Tony Grappo, um, he owned all the Outbacks here in town for a long time, sold that.

And then owns some other stuff here. But Tony is a guy. Tony's in his 60s, I want to say. And he still runs these like ultra marathons. And I asked him one time, I'm like, how do you, how? They're just built differently. And he goes, well, you know, you go through, you start running. And then you hit a point where, you know, your endurance starts to give out. And then that changes into pain.

and he goes if you just get through the pain eventually you just gotta go numb no no and then you just have to just get in the zone and you just just do it you just have to push through because if you can just push through the point of the pain you're good but it's all i think that's also the recipe for how to become a serial killer so yeah probably i don't know oh my god i'm going fine for next week that's going to be no you know you know you know you know i want to have on and i'm gonna and i'm gonna tell i'm gonna call him david ramirez oh you know we need to have on the podcast i think i'm going you know what i made a decision

We are going to have, I'm going to get in it cause I know he'll bring them in. I'm going to get Joey's brother. Yep. We need Joey's brother. For those of you don't know, they're listening as a good friend of mine, Joey, his brother, I was brain injured at a very early, not very early, but in his early twenties was brain injured and was having, and it has like a lot of uncontrollable things about him. Like if we have money, there's no telling what he'll say, which is fine.

But because of those uncontrollable urges not to do anything weird, but just, you know, he can't help what he says. He started being interested in serial killers. So he started reaching out to them and actually became like the serial killer whisperer and helped the FBI like find bodies. I mean, it was crazy. So he lives here in town. We'll have him on because I know I can always get him on. I'll be good.

Last one, you know, the book kind of finishes up talking about parenting a little bit, which I think is a good thing. If you have kids, great. If you don't, if you're going to have them someday, this is probably for you as well, which is talks about if you want to parent your kids to raise grit, how do you do that? We've talked about having sports and stuff with manufactured equipment.

which the book absolutely supports that. And it supports it in writing as it says it. But it says, ultimately what parents do is more consequential than what they say. Parents who pursue their own passions will encourage their children to do the same. Like I cannot imagine, I can't imagine your kids, Connell, growing up not chasing,

you know, well, just maybe not chasing rainbows or whatever else. No, no, no. But, but when he went all over the world chasing rainbows, cause they've seen you do it, but maybe not the little one. Cause she barely knows who you are. Cause you're gone so much. I mean, oh, no, she didn't give a shit about there. I'm there either. She's, she just cares about me. I need to go see John. That's what she said.

Yeah, no, but that is part of the reason I'm trying to set examples and do these things. You see what's out there because I didn't really know what the world even looked like

Right. Until I got out on my own and figured it out. Hey, you can go become a pilot. What do you mean? You can go be pilot. You can just fly planes. You want to fly planes? Like, yeah, here you go. Here are the keys to some airplanes. What are you talking about? Who thought this was a good idea? Speaking of which, I never asked you, did you lose your money on your airplane club? Did that work out? No, they're still operating. They're just running from the hangar. They're just running off the department. No, they shut. They kicked them out.

Okay. Of the clubhouse. Okay. So what we're doing is the books, the planes have all the books in them. They put key locks out for all the keys. So now I just reserve online, go enter the code for the airplane and take a key. I right. Fly. Got it. I could literally go steal an airplane if shit goes down. So God, I love that. No, no, there's no, that's part of my, that's part of my disaster. That's it. What am I getting out? Yep. That's it. Parenting's huge.

I mean, parenting in all aspects, you are creating the next generation. Manufacturing adversity. So I'm not trying to like parenting differences and understanding it. I still need to figure out what to do in terms of parenting differences because I believe that life should be a little bit more difficult than...

the mother of the oldest believes it should be. Okay. You know, because it is one of those things where you go, oh, you know, you don't want to be too hard on them. Well, you don't want to, what did Daniel Tosh say? What's that? You want to be hard on them enough that you get the Thriller album, but not so much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Yeah, moving on from there. But you got to find a balance. You got to find a line. Yeah.

But, you know, we talked about manufactured adversity, and this was so cool because this actually has stats, which I loved. Oh, nice. Again, they're stats out of a book, so I'm assuming they were fact-checked by some sort of a publisher at some point. We do that, but it says that studies that show that children that participate in extracurricular activities do better in school, have a higher self-esteem than those who do not, especially in cases where children participate in extracurricular activities for more than one year. So there's a Columbia –

Columbia University study done in 1988 that showed this. Students that took part in an extracurricular activity sponsored by the school for two years were 97% more likely to go to college. Yep.

They were 179% more likely to complete college, and they were 31% more likely to vote in national elections eight years later after leaving high school. Extracurricular activities then were correlated both with higher academic achievement and greater civic and social participation. And for young ladies, lowest incidence of teen pregnancy. Yeah. Yeah.

So, guys, if you don't have your kids in something, ladies, too, get them in something. You know, we tell our kids all the time, I don't care what you do, but you've got to do something. I have strong opinions. I think it should be physically difficult. Yeah. I think there should be some. You get banged around a little bit, you know. That's why I love the lacrosse. Your boy's taking a hit when he goes up. But now he realizes when life hits him a little bit, he can get through it. Yeah, and I'm going to hurt him. No, that's the stick. There's always BS in it, politics and sports. Like, you learn to deal with. Like, I was a quarterback.

Forever. Before they changed the rules. Quarterback. Yeah. The CTE days. Yeah, like I was a quarterback. I was really good at like 10th grade. I had colleges wanting me.

11th grade or end of 10th grade, coaches came in like, oh, you're too mean and too fast to be a quarterback. We're putting you at safety. I'm like, wait, what? I've never played anything but quarterback. Found out his kid's moving in. Bam. Like you dealt with politics. Yeah, quick feet. Put your quick feet. Head on there. You deal with politics. You got to learn just, all right, what am I going to do? Roll with the punches. Roll and grind.

Roll with the punches. Well, the last thing about this, man, I'll leave you with if you're trying to learn how to get some grit is this, which is gritty cultures or communities can create gritty individuals. Look at Khabib's. Look at those Dagestani. Khabib, yeah, dude, if you're from the state. They play full contact basketball. They wrestle with bears as children. It's no wonder they're UFC champions. Did you see the meme of the dude working out, doing push-ups on the tree? The bears just jump out.

I don't know what's going on or where this gym is. I'm supposed to go fight that guy? No, you can't fight that guy. Let me guess, he's a little grittier than I am. Yeah, there's no fighting that guy. But here's the idea. When a team or business has a culture of grit, the people in the culture learn to demonstrate determination and persistence. This leads to both personal and community improvement and success. So here's the key, kids. Here's the key, folks, which is if you feel like you don't have enough perseverance, enough grit around,

who you're hanging around with may be part of the problem.

You know what I mean? I don't remember which guy it was. You show me four dipshits you hang out with and I'll show you the fifth. I'll show you the fifth. If you're not happy with where your life is, and again, perseverance has everything to do with where you are in life. Make a decision to actually improve the people you're around. Make a decision to improve the people that you're around. But keep in mind, you're going to have to change you to do that. Because if you walk into a bunch of people that have a high level of grit and a high level of persistence and a high level of success,

And you walk in, start telling us, talking about how shit's too hard or you don't feel like it, or you're going to take a day out, man, they're going to shun your ass because high functioning people I'm telling you, it's like it's repellent to them. People that function this way, it really is absolute repellent.

That's all we got for today, man. I hope you guys enjoyed the show. I felt like it was a better show today. We gave Colt a psychological quiz. 3.4. Turns out he's an out of world. Turns out he and Kanye are geniuses. Geniuses. Have you watched that documentary? Yeah, I started it. Oh, that's amazing. But more importantly, can we talk about some grit? Let's talk about that. Which was before we signed off, Pete Davidson taking a beating for six months and was finally like, and today's the day. Today's the day.

I'm done. I choose violence. I choose violence. Yes. Where are you at right now? I'm in bed with your wife. Oh, good for you, Pete Davidson. And then the nerve of Kanye to be like, come to my church. I'm victimized. Yeah. Okay. Stop. Stop it. I just became a fan of Pete Davidson. Yeah. I love it just for that. Like I just thought it was just for you. Watch the documentary of Kanye.

His grittiness, his grind. I'll give him that. Dude, that guy's a nutbag. He is. All right. Well, let's wrap it up. Remember, if you like what we do, tell a friend. If you hate it what we do, tell two, because it doesn't matter if they're talking good or bad. What's the matter, counselor? As long as they're talking about you. As long as they're talking about you. See you next time, guys. You guys don't have to choose.

Hey, it's John Gafford. If you want to catch up more and see what we're doing, you can always go to thejohngafford.com where we'll share any links that we've things we talked about on the show, as well as links to the YouTube where you can watch us live. And if you want to catch up with me on Instagram, you can always follow me at thejohngafford. I'm here. Give me a shout.