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Welcome to Emergency Intercom. Now introducing Drew the Great. I'm happy to be here. And now introducing Enya the Monster. Why am I the monster? Now let's have a good show. SNL be like...

Hey guys! Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. It's nighttime. We don't do this at night very often. And when we do, let's just say things get a little freaky. It's a little comfortable in here, you know? It's like, it's like, um, yeah. So true. I love you. I love you. I want to start this episode out. I want to start this episode out with...

saying if it wasn't for Beyonce, we would have nothing. And I just want to make it very clear that everything we do is for Beyonce. I don't stand with this. And she changed our lives. And honestly, if we take anything away from her, she can just have my spot. Oh my God.

Yeah. I mean, it was a problem one time, uh, or not one time there was talks of my remix being nominated for, um, it was going to get album of the year, even though it was just a single. Um,

And I found out through some higher ups that that was not going to satisfy. Yeah. Beyonce was not fucking happy. It actually is fucked up. She hasn't got an album of the year. I'm not kidding. It's like, I know she has a lot of Grammys, but come on, how does she not have album of the year? But I think the Grammys are a scam, but also when my faves, when I'm like, I'm like,

- Yeah, snub, this shit's bullshit, it means nothing. - This is literally like the dichotomy of what the Grammy institution is, is disgusting, it's repulsive. But when my girls win and I see that picture, I'm happy. - I'm happy. - I'm happy like I won. - I'm happy. Okay guys, we did the big thing. We went to Big Sur again. - Oh my God. - So like the tea is, is Enya surprised me with a trip to Iceland.

but it just wasn't the right time. We had work. We just had things to do. It was a little chilly. It was cold and snowy and wet. Also, I fucked up so bad. It's like the dream location for you, but also me, but specifically for Drew. And I was like, I'm going to like,

I'm going to be so kind. I'm going to just book the tickets. Like, fuck it. I'm just going to do it. And then the more I looked into it, it was like, it is the most dangerous and awful time to go to Iceland at the end of October. So literally the exact dates I had booked. It was like, this is the worst time. You can't really go anywhere. It's snowing. It's raining. It's like sleeting. It's awful. It's like, there's black ice everywhere. You will probably crash and die. So you'll just stay in your hotel the whole time. And I was just like, honestly, no.

Wait, we should. Yeah, should we do that? We should. Die. Yeah, so we were going to go to Iceland. It was going to be a movie. It was going to be a vibe. We were going to record a couple episodes out there. But it just wasn't the time. It was too chilly vibes. So instead... It was too chilly vibes. Instead, we decided to just take a weekend up in Big Sur. And... And it was...

Before we get into how hellish it was, the entire trip as a whole was literally one of the greatest vacations I've ever been on in my entire life. Like once we were in it, it was iconic. Like I got some pictures of myself and Inya and Josiah that like literally people...

like travel across the world and wait hundreds and hundreds of years or 30 years that got his first like real nice camera and he's like yeah i took that well no like you're about you're like one step away from adding the like putting the camera uh shot on 35 no putting the camera emoji and other people's comments like tag me no you have to admit like the pictures i got were pretty goaded they ate down um

but the drive up there, I'm not kidding. It made me want to pull my intestines out of my fucking ass and hang myself with my small intestine. And just like, Oh my God, it was horrible. It would hold you up because it's so full of poop. Exactly. Yeah. I'm very constipated right now. It is weird. It is not a movie. Um, well, I was like, let's leave earlier in the day so we can have a night there to chill and vibe out. Well, that didn't work out. Um,

um and so we left at like 9 p.m and it's a six hour drive up we should have just fucking flew but it's a six hour drive up um and the closer we got the more we were like wait we're going like up and around like this is insane which that happened last time but it was right after the landslide on the pch and then this time i had used

apple maps which i don't fuck with apple maps i love apple apple all the way and apple maps randomly started being like there's no roads like we can't give you any any directions up here and i was like okay that's funny like that's weird i'll just use google and then i started to use google and it was telling us we could go but then the apple thing really started getting in my freaking head and on the drive up i was like

what is this something is seriously off like something's in the east i don't know it's like which is in the east a storm's a brewing it's like you're scaring me no people on tiktok use it for the fucking hurricanes oh oh oh it's like winds in the east the oh fuck what is the one that i like

Mishka Minin. I need that audio and then fuck what's the other one? The stuck in Folsom Prison, like that one. I don't know what that one is. The Johnny Cash, it's like, just look up Folsom Prison. When you look up Johnny Cash, it's Johnny Cash Hurricanes. Yeah. This one? Yeah. It's rolling around the bin. Boom.

Like that fucking song. I hate that song. It's canceled. It's over. Also, I decided what I'm starting to do is when I call someone and they don't answer my phone,

Or I text someone and they don't answer my text back for days. They're canceled. I'm canceling them. I've canceled like most of my friends. They're all over. What's crazy is I know there's at least three times on the podcast where we've been like, I hate when people just get mad when I don't text back. Like it's not that big of a fucking deal. Like who cares? But it's different. Like it is really different because I am mentally ill and like very unstable constantly. And honestly, like recently, like,

I've been destabilized very heavily

You should just get some of my spinal fluid and stabilize yourself. Yeah, exactly. The stabilizer. We didn't even finish this first story. Oh, shit. Sorry. No, that was my bad. Yeah, but actually it is your fault. And when I think about it, a lot of things... Actually, no, it was your bad. It was your bad. Because you started thinking about the witches. A lot of bad things that happen come from you. A lot of bad things happen from you. The witches are brewing their fucking potions. Yeah. But so we're driving. We're like, oh, fuck, like...

It's saying no roads, but I'm just like, let's just like thug it out. We'll like get up there and like whatever happens, happens. We'll cross the bridge when we get there. Well, we pull up and I'm driving down this road. It's the only road into Big Sur from the north.

And it's like road closed. Do not enter past 10 p.m. It's like 2 a.m. at this point. And then it's like all these signs being like 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. It's closed. And I keep driving because I'm like, well, they can't just not let me go to my house. Like I live up there. Like let me in. He was like, when we get there, tell them we live there.

Yeah. Well, because like, no, that's literally like the tea. Like that, that is, that is a thing. And then we keep driving and we drive 26 miles, like ignoring these signs or 26 minutes, ignoring all these signs saying, do not go. And we pull up and the fucking road is closed from 26

10 p.m. to 6 a.m. Mind you, it's four. I mean, it's two. It's two. At that time, it's like 2.30 and we were like, no, like, I bet they finished work early. Like, maybe they'll just let us pass. We go up there and we ask the guy. First of all, the guy looks high as fuck. He was stoned out of his fucking... He was like so high and honestly, God bless because if I was bored as fuck working on the side of the PCH, I would get high too.

But he was like, no, you can't come. And we contemplated staying at an inn, but it just felt so stupid because we had paid for the Airbnb that night. And we were like, what are we going to do? Go pay for a room at a fucking inn and all squeeze into bed? Yeah. And be there for like two fucking hours? It's like Monterey Inn. So it's going to be $2,000 a night. Like, and it's also...

was for four hours yeah and it was literally like by the time we would have gone there would have been like 3 a.m 330 so we were like let's just sleep in the car like we just literally pulled off on the side of the pch and slept in the car for four hours and the only person that slept was in you like i i got like an hour max of sleep no one else fucking slept and i

We woke up at I woke up at five fifty eight on the dot. And I was like, OK, because like a bunch of cars started speeding by every single car in the world sort of driving by. And I was just like, OK, guys, it's time to go like.

So I just like in like a sleep days like sleep deprived days like put the car and drive and was like, all right guys We're leaving and in you like woke up for half a second was like no we should just sleep here till like 8:00 at least like we should just sleep in like and I was like in you we have a house with beds that we can go sleep in like we should go do that and she was like no no like let's sleep and I was just like no I'm literally going like you're not where you'll sleep in the car there cuz we thought an hour of a drive left it was like

like two things one like it's don't talk to me before my sleep like don't talk to me for my coffee that's me with my sleep don't talk to me when I'm sleeping like don't talk to Inya unless she's had 15 hours of sleep and I just wanted legitimately did I like felt like I had entered REM sleep and then

It felt like, I hate saying this, but like it genuinely felt like the only parts of my brain that were awake was the part that wanted to sleep. And then the part that still somehow like my OCD was activated. I'm not kidding. Part of the reason I wanted to stay there is because I was convinced we were going to crash and die sleeping, driving at that time. And I was like genuinely convinced. I was like,

I was like, I feel it deep in my gut that we shouldn't be going. But I always do that when I think I have a gut feeling, but really it's because I don't want to do something. But then I tell myself it's a gut feeling because if I do the thing, I'm going to die. But really, I'm just like lazy or sleepy or bored or like whatever. But I do the same thing with like flights. I'll be like, oh, this flight is going to crash because I really don't want to leave. Bitch, you don't want to leave because you're with your fucking family or your friends. And we're hermits. Yeah, we're like so hermited. Well, anyways, I just drive the like rest of the way. And it took us an hour.

It took us an hour to get to Big Sur. And then we went up and down the fucking road in Big Sur for literally 45 minutes. Like, I'm not exaggerating. So, like, by the time we got to our Airbnb, we had been on the road for 14 hours. And it's a six-hour drive. And it was fucking horrible because it was so foggy. It was gorgeous. Yeah, we got to the, like, icon.

got some of the best magical like the fucking like fog rolling in over it was like all cows because the Airbnb we go to in Big Sur is this really secluded cabin and the address for it isn't a real address it's literally off the PCH and you have to follow these weird directions but we were coming from the other side of the mountain and we couldn't figure it out and also we were all running on like two hours of fucking sleep drew barely any sleep like we were all just so cash it took us so long to find it but God when we did

God blessed us. No, y'all, like real talk. It happened for a reason. Like we are so blessed. Like we're blessed to be like waking up another day to breathe and sing with God's creations. Like I'm talking to y'all, by the way. Like when you wake up in the morning, really start like focusing on how blessed you are to be able to open your eyes. Because not a lot of people get that. Open to gifts this morning in my eyes. And that's why they call it the present because it's a present. Yeah.

Yeah. Don't look me in my eyes when you say stuff like that. It's the present. No, literally, I'm not kidding. I would do anything to go back there. Like, being in nature, I was like, this is...

this is where we're supposed to be like i i i am not a part of i'm not a part of your worldly wants exactly i am literally like i am not worldly this all of this i am starting to feel like it's too worldly is giving is giving we need a creek like yeah i need a creek in my back i don't need an iphone or a mirror i need a creek with big rocks to climb oh my god it was so fucking fun like

It's gonna make me kill myself because I don't have it in my backyard. Oh, but coming soon y'all like coming very soon in his death because we will never obtain that type of wealth.

I know, that's all I was thinking. I was like, damn, to have something like this in your position, you either have to have, like, it has to be passed to you in a generation, or you just have to be extremely wealthy. Or you buy it when it was $2,000. You know what's crazy is, like, there are no places left in America that you can pull up and be like, okay, like,

the land's really cheap. No one's out here. It's not developed to like, I just want to live out here in the middle of nowhere and like whatever. And then slowly over time it develops and gets more like populated. And then by the end of like the decade, it's worth like,

$200,000. And then by the 20 years later, it's worth $2 million. Like, it's so annoying. Wait, that's not true though because Josie bought the Blue Tiger Club when it was like $200. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The Pink Flamingo Club. The Pink Flamingo Club. Wait, when did the Pink Flamingo Club become a thing? I just made it up. You just made that up? Pink and Green Spider Club. Green Needle. Green Needle. I think I'm going to buy a school bus. That's kind of...

- Like actually I'm not fucking playing like quit throwing things because it's actually getting scary. It's like really actually scary. - Wait, what were we talking about the other day that we were saying we were gonna start hitting each other? - Yeah. - Oh yeah. - No, we were saying we would hit the fuck out of each other if we dated. - Oh yeah, if we dated we would hit each other. But I was saying the other day, like I think I'm gonna start hitting Drew just casually like wake him up

the slap but the problem is you wake up at like 6 a.m so i'd never be oh i could wake you up from your naps with a hit yeah but i really haven't been napping recently have you noticed yeah like i'm i've been noticing that i've been noticing that right i've been noticing that um but yeah that's the big sir trip it was gorgeous um it was so awesome and i'm coming back to this apartment

No, everything is too worldly. Everything is too worldly until I'm high as fuck on my iPhone in the middle of the night and then it's just as worldly as it needs to be. Also, you know what I'm realizing is like the spiders and bugs in Big Sur, like, they're a different vibe. That's not true because they bit me the...

the fuck up they literally attacked me they're like real spiders out there i'm saying like the spiders in our house are like fucking freeloaders they're bunk as fuck like i hate all of them like get the fuck out of my bed not to mention the fucking termites and shit like no it's the bugs here like they they take take take take take and they never give they except for that one that one that one eats all of our fucking fruit flies like that one's iconic

But the bugs and Big Sur, like, were intruding on their land. It's like, it's like if I went out there and squashed a spider, that would be like me going into the ocean and beheading a shark because it ate a person. You know what's crazy is I am somebody who I will literally kill any bug. I don't give a fuck about that your only crime was being small. No, your crime was being mad fucking annoying and you're gonna bite me because you're a bitch. I don't give a fuck about bugs like that. But when we were in the creek, anytime there was the rocks with the spider on it, usually...

I would have just fucking grabbed the water and went and like got it off the wall and hung out in there. But I genuinely did respect their say. So I was like, honestly, I'm in your house right now. It's like when you go to a friend's house and a lot of y'all don't do this because you weren't raised with fucking manners. But it's like when you go to a friend's house and you like use their cups and stuff and you're supposed to wash them or at least put them in the sink before you leave.

A lot of people, a lot of people don't do that. A lot of people don't wash their cup out and put it back in the cupboard when they're done or in the washing machine or just simply put it in the sink. A lot of people, and that is...

just proof that you're a bad person yeah you're evil so start doing that and if you're sitting here thinking like oh my god i just got home from my friend's house and i didn't put the cups away that makes me so anxious i wonder if my friend feels weird about it but just never says anything your friend does think that and your friend thinks you're evil and they're not gonna let you back over yeah also we should just literally for the rest of the episodes just leave in things like that like anxiety i was literally about to go in like literally also like

- I know you're probably laying in bed at night, like thinking about like something embarrassing you did in your past or something like that you cringe at or like a behavior you had that like you feel weird about. And like, you're like, do those people think about that? - Yeah, you're feeling regretful and shameful. It's for a reason. - Everybody remembers. Everybody remembers every embarrassing moment that you've had around them.

They hold it against you. They hold it against you. It's like subconsciously deep in their head that like, oh yeah, you're the piss girl. Like you pissed your pants like in front of everybody in fourth grade. And like who gives a fuck if it was because you sneezed and you were on your period. So you like kind of leaped. Like no, that's still fucking disgusting. Yeah, you're weird. Everybody knows it. And honestly, for a long time, nobody was even going to tell you you had a stain on your butt from your period. But you got it on the fucking bed like a nasty bitch. And by the time like you got home from school after riding the bus, it had already browned.

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The 2024 F-150 Lightning truck gets dirty and runs clean. With an EPA-estimated range of 320 miles with the available extended-range battery, it's the only electric vehicle that's an F-150. Visit Ford.com slash F-150 Lightning to learn more. Excludes platinum models. EPA-estimated driving range based on full charge. Actual driving range varies with conditions such as external environment, vehicle use, vehicle maintenance, high voltage, battery age, and state of health.

I told you about in high school there was this girl who was hella homophobic for no fucking reason and she was whatever she wanted to be a nurse whatever you're about to say she deserved all of it well she started her period in class and we had just gotten to another fucking argument about whether gay people should be able to adopt and I was like bitch you are so fucking dumb like are you gonna adopt those kids literally what are you fighting for dumbest argument I've ever heard but

We like got into this huge back and forth. And then our teacher made us stop because we were getting like aggressive with each other. Bitch, she got up and she went to go walk out of the class and she had a huge period stain on her butt. And I was right behind her because we sat next to each other. And my friend tapped me on the shoulder and was like, oh my God, stop her. And I was like, no. Let her walk through the hallway. And I let her ass walk through the fucking... Because how the fuck are you... How the fuck do you want to be a nurse but you're going to literally be homophobic? Like... Yeah. Yeah.

But yeah, she walked around with a period butt and she got really embarrassed. Yeah. Well, speaking of embarrassing things that people did, we had J.D. Vance fucking a couch. Nasty freak fucking bitch. Die in a fire challenge. Challenge, hypothetically. But Caitlin Bennett gun girl shitting herself at a college frat party. Wait, so is that real or was that a rumor? It's real.

Okay. Yeah, it's real. Yeah. It's a very real thing that happened. Wait, did you start a rumor like that about someone? Yeah, Josiah. No. It has to be somebody who like... Kai had a wet dream while recording the podcast.

Oh no. What? I don't like that one. We can't tell that one to people. When we tell that one to people, they like low-key believe it from the clips they've probably seen. Well, that's the point of the rumors. Oh, that they believe it. Yeah, that's like the point. Okay, so back to Caitlin Bennett, Gun Girl. So I know for a fact I've talked about this on the Patreon. I don't think I've talked about it publicly, but for years and years, and I'm not exaggerating, literally years, multiple years,

Not a single soul in my life knew about this. It was just me and my followers on this account. I had a top secret Caitlin Bennett sleeper cell fan account that I would post on Facebook.

Every single day and I was in character like it was straight up like method acting. The day Drew exposed this to me like he carried out this whole experiment, saw it through and then showed me everything. I will never forget that day. Like that was so fucking funny. Do you have screenshots of it? On my other phone I do. I screen recorded everything before I deleted the account. But for years I became...

very very very close with caitlin bennett's followers um i was in group chats i was chatting with them in dms they were responding to my messages they were responding to my tweets i was liking their tweets i was responding to their tweets i got really really close to these fucking freakazoids um well basically like the

account I was like cosplaying as was this middle aged woman that had children and a husband um well she found out that her husband um

was leaving him or was leaving her because he cheated on her with a woman and she was hotter than her so this woman like while being a caitlyn bennett fan account responding to every single caitlyn bennett tweet i even got like interactions with caitlyn like i was like taking up for her and defending her i was like caitlyn did not shit herself like y'all are like absolutely insane like y'all are liars y'all are making this up y'all are just in love with her like what the fuck well i

This woman's husband left her and cheated on her and left her for another woman and left her with the children. Well, that sent her into a very, very deep like psychosis where she was like freaking the fuck out. And then she was like, wait, I might be gay. Like, I think I'm actually in love with Caitlin. So she started like manically tweeting at Caitlin that she was like in love with her. And like it was getting really freaky. And people started being like, are you good? Like, what's going on, girl? I'm like, I have the confidence.

clearest image right now in my head of like one of the tweets where you found a random picture of a cup of beer and you also like made her an alcoholic for a while like it'd be like in the middle of the day and you'd be like well it's five o'clock somewhere yeah she was she was a very she was an alcoholic with her children and then um

she started actually losing her mind and like tweaking the fuck out and talking about like codes in the sky well the government took her children from her and

And so it was just her. So then she started tweeting at Caitlyn like, hey, I know you have high up connects like in the government and Congress. Can you get my kids back? And then when Caitlyn wasn't responding, she would start freaking the fuck out and being like, well, I fucking hate this bitch. Like I gave you my body. Like I gave you everything. I sent you nudes like unsolicited nudes, like all this shit. Like she was just like freaking the fuck out. Well, then.

She got diagnosed with schizophrenia and started talking about the codes in the sky and that like everything will make sense if you look for the codes. Yeah, the tweets would be like, guys went outside. They have the codes in the sky.

her yeah and then you would be like fuck it's so windy guys like because i i always imagined it in my head that you thought it was like she was seeing like a jet like when yeah exactly like words in the sky and i i even like edited photos of what she was seeing like i would take pictures of the sky and like edit photos of it and like write like really like shitty numbers sorry i'm scrolling through my photo library to see if i have them oh wait i literally have like

I have them on here. Okay, so...

Liars. Kate never shit herself. Okay, can we agree that at Kate is braver than most US Marines? Oh, wait, this is... Oh, no, I don't know if I have Kate. That's Bernice. Do you think at Kate gun girl supports homophobia? I really hope not. Dead rose emoji. And then someone responded back and said, no, I think she loves the gays. And I said, good to know. Thanks for your support.

And then I also made merch for Caitlin Bennett. I made like... Also, Drew would like just talk to these people about their days and then randomly if they started talking about political stuff, Drew would just randomly like... I would interject. The character would become like incredibly liberal. But then like the people would be like, oh,

No, I was dead as a sleeper cell. Like I turned some of these like middle aged women out. Like I was like, no, like you have to view it from this perspective. And like they would be like, oh, wait, like that's actually tea. Like I go back to tweeting. It'd be like the codes, the codes. Yeah, it wasn't for nothing. Also, in 2018, I tweeted as a gay woman with three children. And then I said, make America great again. Hashtag to a.

Anyone have any wine suggestions? I'm tired of drinking barefoot. Cheap and effective, but it doesn't taste good. Who started the rumor at Caitlyn Bennett is gay? Love that girl, but she has a boyfriend, ladies. That was part of her arc where she was trying to convince herself that Caitlyn was gay, that she had a chance with her. I love the wine tweet. Yeah. Oh, I also did like...

start like commenting on every single one of Caitlin's like pictures on Twitter saying like we love a gay queen like she's so gay like we support her and people would like freak out they would like they would take up for her and be like she is not gay don't say that about her so I tweeted I am being attacked and ridiculed for being LGBT and supporting hashtag Caitlin Bennett the entire

LGBT supports and accepts Caitlin Bennett and her apology, queen of the gays. -Queen of the gays. -"Trying to get my job back, only have $2,000 saved up, half bills to pay and children to feed people." I think I was trying to siphon money at that point from my supporters. I was trying to get them to donate to me.

Oh my God, dude. Long time no speak. My kids were taken from me because I wasn't prioritizing them. I have to work two jobs and keep a roof over their heads and food on the table. My jobs were for my children. This country is dark, sick, and twisted and headed in a dark direction. Oh, that one's really real. Yeah.

Wait, do you have the A.X. Bernice ones? Yeah. Oh my God, should we tell that story? I feel like, have we? We've told A.X. Bernice. I've probably told this too, like a million times. Oh, I had a prepper arc where I was like,

We're like a doomsday program. Yeah, yeah. And I was asking for advice. I think I'm going to be on the next season of Love Island. It's kind of my vibe. That's like a horrible vibe. That doesn't match your energy. That doesn't match your energy. I would get along so well. I'd be a favorite. Honestly, you would be a fan favorite because you're just too real. No, I would actually freak out and I'd be like locked up in the bedroom all day. They would lock you up, bro.

Like, bitch, let me put some fucking clothes on. I'd start walking around with the duvet wrapped around my shoulders.

I would just like, I'm, I would be like, I'm literally anemic. That's what's fucked up. How many of those bitches are anemic and they like aren't allowed to wear clothes? I feel like I would be fucking freezing in there. That is tea. I never thought about that. Also the one we were watching like with fully just nude people. Oh my God. We haven't talked about that. Have we not? I don't think so. There's naked attraction. Is that what it's called? I'm not sure. It's some shit like that. No, naked attraction is the HBO, the one we watch on HBO. That one's iconic. That one's like.

like that one makes me sick because i hate like i hate the guys like i literally hate it it makes me like sick um but no we found this dating show that's like love island except everyone is like fully completely fucking butt ass naked like not like oh they're like wearing a loincloth or like nipple pasty like fully naked no socks no shoes even in the confessionals and the guys all

always sit with their like legs spread to the camera and it is like this like imagine this view but like naked with it all just hanging out the camera is like kind of at a lower angle it is so fucking disgusting but the show was so insane to watch you would be shocked though because it turns out

they are so fucking boring like them being naked the shock it wears out yeah the shock value of it yeah it like just disintegrates yeah i guess maybe that's why like naked attraction is such a fast-paced show or that's why it's like so good that like it's also because it's new people every time yeah we're seeing new body parts like it gets boring like looking at i mean every dude on that show is the scariest motherfucker i've ever seen except for one the men on the show also like

It's always the bodies are like, oh my God. And then they show the face and I'm like, how is she supposed to say who's going home? Because I would have been like, it's like the balloon pop where you're like, that's what would happen in that room. If I walked into a 20 V1, they would all keep their balloon unpopped. No, they would eat the balloon. I eat it. Well, if I was in a 20 V1, I think I would win and I'd probably just go on a date with like everybody. Hmm.

The more the merrier. I'm not kidding though. I really want to drive a school bus soon. Like I wish I was kidding. I was watching. Bitch you bet I thought I wasn't going to steal a bus. We stole a bus. The first part of that sentence was like no. Bitch you thought I wasn't going to steal a bus. We stole a bus. Did those girls get in trouble for that? I know they started posting like vlogs on YouTube that have like a hundred likes or a hundred views on them that like

i was obsessed with them but i don't think they ever really got in trouble i think they got like a slap on the wrist okay good um but i was watching people do i keep getting emails about fucking hurricane milton like i think florida thinks i'm still a resident there because i it's update number seven damn you emailed me seven times today oh leave me alone i have um it's kind of cool though to

- To get the updates. - Or not just like that they have an update system, like the future is awesome actually. - It's not like in the scary videos we watch about tornadoes before phones and it's like nobody could have told them the tornado was coming so they all just died, they perished. - I know. - Oh. - Yeah. - Cool. But I was watching videos of people tour the new school buses and I really wanna drive one. And they don't seem that hard to drive. Like I genuinely think I would be a really good bus driver

because I feel like I'm a good driver. Why are you shaking your head now? I mean, you're... I'm a girl. You're a girl, yeah. I'm not kidding. I forgot that I can't be a bus driver. Or just a driver in general. Driver. Uber driver. Uber driver.

But yeah, so if anybody can get me in contact with somebody who could let me get in a bus and drive it around, I would be so happy. Because like imagine me driving the school bus and all you guys in the back. It would be really cute. Maybe we just need a van though. We need a big bus. Yeah, but then we... Because I want it to be full. Like I want it to be... Like I imagine a very jovial scene, like the music's playing, like everybody's talking is on the radio. Everybody's like in the backseat singing. Yeah.

But on a really big bus with only like five of us in it, it's going to be kind of sad. We are we really we took the year of rest and relaxation a little too serious. Y'all, we have no more friends. That's not true. Speak for your fucking self. I have no more friends. I have too many friends, actually. Don't get me started on how many friends I have. Because you sound like having a lot of friends expert. You would know a lot about having friends. Yeah. Um.

speak for yourself ho because i got too many i'm very i don't have any more friends like legitimately like i've just like completely given up on like maintaining relationships with anybody in my life like if you don't live with me like i don't see you like i literally don't i guess yeah i have started to tap into that i think we talked about on an episode but i'm trying to get out of it but it's like i literally i leave the house and there's a calling like

spend money spend money i was gonna say there's a calling back home and then i feel bad because i'm like i'm gonna waste the day i get like no sunlight exposure and then but the first 20 minutes of leaving the house like yesterday when i went and picked up my medication and it was like 10 30 a.m and i'm like already already and out the door and i was like wow life is beautiful like there's not many people on the road it's like a gorgeous temperature and

and then i got back inside and i looked out my window because i was like it was nice out there and i just stood there and i was like i'm not going back out there like for the rest of the week i don't actually want to do that and it makes me sad though because like the joy i felt when i left the house early was compelling but not compelling enough to not sit on the couch on my iphone my thing is is like actually what is there to do like literally i don't know what there is to do anymore like that's this that's the scary thing is like

I can't think of anything to do. Like, oh, like, like, yeah, let's go spend money. Like, let's go get a coffee, like, and spend $20 on a fucking coffee that I don't even drink. Like, why?

What is there to do like I literally can't tell you one? Yeah, I guess also like we don't have really good parks because I was thinking about that the other day like recently I've been really craving going to the park But we ended up going to Big Sur and said which if Big Sur was closed bitch I would be there all the fucking time, but we don't have like nice parks in LA. Yeah There's like three cute parks that I've been to and I do like and

bitch i don't want to go sit by the fucking dam in silver lake the reservoir like that shit is like walking around the wet reservoir is like so fried it is it is crazy also like even the body of water is like supposed to be eluding that you're in nature but it's literally in a cage like how the fuck you cage the lake like the lake is caged and then echo park is fucking caged have you been seeing loctober no

So like a bunch of straight dudes like it's like the whole like winter arc like I'm shaving my head I'm bulking up like I'm gonna take care of myself this winter like don't fucking play with me like winter Well, a bunch of dudes have been saying like oh, it's like locktober like you got a lock in for October like it's a locktober bitch Locktober really what locktober is and it's been coined for like literally the last decade is chastity

like men's chastity wear, like locking your penis up. Oh, wait, seriously? Yes. And so like all these straight dudes are like, hashtag Locktober. And they have no idea what they're referencing. And then the craziest part is, is a lot of these like machismo dudes are going to like,

see loctober and then see it's so funny because of me saying machismo to you you say it like it's like um like you say it instead of masculine yeah i don't know instead of saying like it rolls off my tongue it rolls off the tongue way better than fucking masculine um but all these dudes are gonna be like oh like let's like see who's locking in for loctober click on it and it's gonna be like a bunch of fucking locked penises down their feed and then they're gonna be like wait

why is this doing something for my brain right now why should i lock my penis up so it's going to be a sexual awakening basically is what a lot of people yeah a lot of people will be sexually awoken a lot of people wait it's chastity belt like can you get that on fucking amazon

I have no idea. Why do I want a girl chastity belt, Loki? I don't even know what a girl chastity belt looks like. It's literally big ass underwear. I was going to say, I know the one from Scary Movie where it looks like a jigsaw trap. It's made of metal. Wait, I'm not kidding. That's what my brain was referencing. And then I was like, wait, that's like a comedy movie. That might not be what those look like. But I think they are basically that. Oh.

Oh, so it's just like a jockstrap for girls? Yeah, I hate that. Like, what? No, I want a chastity belt, but I want it to be the cunty, big-ass fucking underwear. I, like, want a picture in this. Okay, this shit, like, I actually don't want to know the implications. Let me see.

That's kind of cute. Like the leather one or is that rusted metal? I mean, it's really cunt, but it's a virginity chastity belt. Oh, hell no. That's why I'm saying I don't want to know the implications of all this because it's actually going to start making me pissed off. But I will be buying one and I'm going to fucking wear one around. Like I literally am never going to have sex again. I'm bored. Should I keep talking about the school buses or? I was going to talk about microplastics in our blood, so.

Okay, so we all know microplastics are in our blood, all that shit. We all know it. It's in our ovaries. It's in our balls. It's in our penises. It's in our brain. It's crossing the blood-brain barrier. But... Wait, we can literally live with that. There were people who were eating out of fucking lead plates. We'll be fine. We're fucking fine. But...

If you lose blood, right? If you cut yourself on like your countertop with a loose tile or something and you like cut and you lose blood, some of that blood might have microplastics in it, right? And then your body will produce blood without microplastics in it. So the tea is, is what we should all do is either...

cut ourselves or get a bunch of leeches and suck all the microplastic blood out of our body and then just recreate new blood without microplastic. And the craziest thing is like they were they might have been on to something. Did you see someone saying this? Yeah. Like online? Like seriously? Like no. It was just like a theory. Yeah. No, it was like remember when people were like telling kids to like put

certain chemicals in the microwave and started making mustard gas. It's like the same thing. It's one of those. Yeah. Cut yourself for new blood. Hashtag cut for new blood. Yeah, but the medieval people were onto something. Me when somebody took my copy of New Blood away and I'm like, hashtag cut for new blood. Imagine being Justin Bieber when people were literally cutting themselves for Justin Bieber. That shit is fucking insane. Cutting for Bieber is crazy. Also, and like cut for Zayn because he smoked weed. What?

What the fuck? Well, that is hella toxic. Yeah. Yeah, that's like a no blow. Like, that's a no. Like, you don't do that. I didn't even think that. Yeah. That is fucked up. Like, that was actually really traumatizing. But it was literally a thing. It was like, what? Because Justin Bieber spit in a fucking bucket? No, I think it was probably because Justin smoked a cigarette. Like, it was some bullshit like that, too. It might have been weed. You know what's crazy? It's like, okay, I understand the ideas and implications of...

making smoking in general popular like when i hit my puff bar and i'm always holding on to it trust and believe i think about the connotations of like people thinking that's okay but i actively try to say and we've said no to brands that try to get us to like sell those kind of things i understand that but the way some of y'all still react like remember the way people were acting when jenna ortega got seen smoking a cigarette did you see any of that like

People were losing their fucking minds. They were like, I always knew she... Like, I used to think she was cute. She looks like fucking shit now. Like...

Damn, bitch. Like, can't a girl live a little? Like, back up, ho. Like, you're literally tweaking people who are like, I can tell she's probably been doing this for like a few months. She looks old as fuck now. Yeah, her skin is decrepit. Yeah, it's like, oh my God, back up. But I get it. But also like, no, back up. Because... She's a grown ass woman. It's basically like people are still doing that shit. Like reacting like that, which is crazy because I...

that like response to it is such an old thing but celebrities get flack for stuff like that all the time it's like someone cursed or like stuck the middle finger to the paparazzi and then their fans are like oh my god like they're not pure they're not pure anymore and like the shit Ariana Grande got for licking that damn donut

Saying I hate America. I think we're all old enough that she tore. She spilled. Every moment of that was real. I feel like we always thought it was funny. I remember seeing that on the literal news, like Channel 7 News, walking into the living room being like, Ariana Grande licks donut and says she hates America. It's like, wow, that's really fucked up, actually. People just having dissertations about it. How long is the Great Wall of China? Okay, no, no.

I said it was... Inya thought the Great Wall of China was eight miles long. Actually, it was seven. She said seven. Seven miles long, which is a gross under... Literally just very wrong. Okay, to be fair...

I don't think I've ever even seen somebody I know go to the Great Wall of China. Like, I've never seen a photo. I've been like, oh my God, is that someone sitting at the Great Wall of China? Like, it's not something I see. Like, there's not even a picture of, like, Michael Jackson at the Great Wall of China. Like, the Great Wall of China is not that girl in terms of tourism. Like, I feel like I've seen Stonehenge in TikToks. I don't give a fuck about Stonehenge. Like, I don't give a fuck. Wait, what are the seven wonders of the world? I literally don't know. Can we look that up? Also...

just for your information, the Great Wall of China is 13,171 miles long, which is mind-bogglingly big. Like that is...

unbelievable i was close america yeah you were actually really yeah america is what was it like 2 400 miles wide or something like that at the widest point so just like think about that and then think about how fucking big this wall is like actually why why like i know why historically like i know why but like really like they were not playing world wonders how long did that take to build

I have no idea. Like years? Because, oh my God, you know what was freaking me out the other day? I've talked about this before. Half of these, literally more than half of them aren't even a fucking thing anymore. Girl, we need new world wonders like Inya's vagina because it's so fucking big. No, you know what's a new world wonder? It's my giant penis. The dome in Las Vegas. Like that's what we have to show now like for technological advances. I guess like the Empire State Building thing.

Yeah, the world wonders now are like the Apple, like just like tech companies because they're like evaluations are like in the trillions. Okay, the Great Pyramids of Giza. Yeah, that makes sense. Those are epic. Like I want to go there. Like the engineering that was involved, like that is so exciting. The Hanging Gardens of Babylon.

The fuck is that? Like some bullshit. Wait, what is it called? The Hanging Edges? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon. They don't even know if they actually existed. That's the craziest part. Oh, wait, what? Like there's no pics? There's no pics. Wait, wait, wait, what? Yeah.

Like they don't even know if it was a real thing. It was just like it was like potentially a thing because they read about it. OK, then at that point, I get to say, OK, is this not real? No, that's a bit. No, that might be a real picture, but not of the Babylonian gardens. But if they get to say this is a wonder of the world, then I think Minnie's house at

because to me that is like it was a very that like really shifted your brain no i'm not kidding only talk about that now it did something to me like it really it set something in me free i'm not kidding also like the craziest part is her entire house is a fucking kitchen like that's don't get me started don't get me started because i think i already said this in the last episode actually oh really or maybe i didn't i think we did

Basically, why is Mickey Mouse's house so fucking big? It's two stories long and he has a huge waiting room for everybody and you get to watch cartoons. And I have said this already, but it still pisses me off.

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There. Oh, sorry.

I want to go back so bad. The statue of Zeus at Olympia. A 40-foot statue of Zeus made of gold and ivory that was destroyed when the temple was burned in 1426 CE. Don't give a fuck. Wait, so it's not a thing? It's not a thing. Wait, no. I've been there in Fortnite. Oh, true, true, true. No, that's not a thing anymore. I don't give a fuck. That does not inspire wonder. Yeah, I thought

All of them were things that you could fucking go to. -Temple of Artemis at Ephesus. -Temple of Artemis? -Yes, that was a thing and there's ruins of it still, which is pretty iconic. I'll let that one slide.

Yeah, this is cunt. And it's also... Oh, my God. I've literally also been here in Fortnite. Yeah, period. Like... Exactly. Also, like, the tea with that one is the same as, like, the Pyramid of Giza. Like, the engineering involved. Like, the engineering. You're mine. The girls and STEM baby, like, of it all. Like, the mausoleum at Halicarsus Ksenopsis. I don't give a fuck. A Parisian wonder. Okay. Okay.

The mausoleum at Tyrese Halliburton's ass. What? The mausoleum? Tyrese Halliburton is a basketball player and it is Hallicarnassius.

then the colossal of roads, a huge bronze statue built to commemorate the rising of the siege of road. I don't think this one exists anymore either. Yeah. None of them exist. And then this colossal of roads was like this, like giant statue at like a port in a city. Um,

that like was ginormous but again it doesn't exist and then the last one oh it does exist and it's bunk as yeah no i would see that in like the central park yeah no literally it looks like i built that in my backyard like i literally don't care um and then the last one is the lighthouse of alexandria again probably doesn't exist there probably aren't even ruins of it

Also, I'm not buying the Library of Alexandria. Okay, this isn't real. Wait. Oh, this is like a model version because I was like, how the fuck was anybody hanging out in there? Yeah, no. Um...

Yeah, so I really actually don't give a fuck about any of that shit. Wait, so Stonehenge is not? Stonehenge and fucking the Great Wall of China are not considered world wonders. Wait, seriously? Yeah, no. At least on that list. The only one is the Pyramids of Giza. Also, we need to start having this conversation. The Bass Pro Shop Pyramid in Tennessee is a world wonder.

Is it actually huge? It's massive. It's ginormous. Because I've only seen the like franchise ones where they're like tiny. No, the pyramid is ginormous. What? Like...

Okay. The dude that built it was just like, I want one. Oh, okay. So someone built it. Because at first I was thinking of modern times and why those big stores show up. And I'm like, what was there before? Like a Ross? I was going to say, I think actually it was a basketball arena. And then they converted it into...

Let me look that up because I could be wrong. America's architecture is fucking crazy. It's so cooked. It is so cooked. Like it's so ugly. But something about it is so gorgeous. Like certain parts of it. Yeah, it was a sporting and entertainment including basketball tournaments. And then they bought it and turned it into a big-ass Bass Pro Shop. God bless America. God bless our fucking troops. Start your engines.

And may the best woman win. I literally like, I'm going to freak out, bro. I cannot believe it. Like sometimes when I'm driving around recently, I forgot where I was driving, but I saw a Taco Bell. Wait, why were you driving? Oh, I'm sorry. There was a man driving for me. Okay, good. Yeah. Girls can't drive. We know this. Um,

So I was in the passenger seat, but I was driving. I'm a little passenger princess. You know where the Uber is? Wait, I'm your passenger princess. Yeah, the fuck you are. Oh my God. And you like grab my thigh and like pet my head and shit. I was having like a really bad day yesterday and Inya was so affectionate and loving and caring and supporting that it literally took me out of it. Really? Yeah, it was really sweet. I feel like I've recently become extremely like physically affectionate.

With me, yeah. Yeah, to you. And it's really hard to not get a boner. It's so hard. Sometimes when I give you physical affection, I'm like, does he think I'm actually fucking crazy for this? Literally never once have I ever thought of it anything other than you touching me as a friend. Well, I was doing it because I really want to hook up again. I was going to say, when you start touching my penis and butthole, it gets really jarring. When you start touching my gooch. Yeah.

Literally stop. We've talked about this before, but like I never need to know that you have a naked body under those clothes. Like all the way naked. Yeah, no. It's like, ew, I'm so scared. And I hate my body. So you, I mean, me and Inger are thinking about- No, it's not about hating. No, no. It's not about hating your body because I've seen you basically naked. But I just can't see-

Your parts like that's too much genitals. Oh, cuz I know what it is growing I already think it's so disgusting looking so then if I saw on you it was like We had a girl that went to my school and her name was literally Jenna tolls Jenna tolls her parents were fucking wicked for that shit. Okay, you said you wanted to name your daughter's Mantis orchid and karma

That's such good names. I can let orchid go. Orchid is cute. Mantis? Orchid and mantis are cute names because like orchid- Wait, it's mantis something and what? Karma.

Karma like because okay imagine in high school like someone does something mean to my daughter karma and then like Someone takes up for her and beats the fuck out of the girl that bullied my daughter karma And then everyone's like yeah karma is a bitch or karma literally beats the fuck out of someone Like yeah karma is a bitch like or karma is like a little mean Everyone's like yeah, I think she would just like she would get bullied like really hard

And then she retaliates and everybody's like, karma's a bitch. She would eat down. And then orchid and mantis as girl-girl twins would be really cute because orchids mimic mantises, praying mantises. And so like it would be like them. What would orchids like nickname be though? Because I'm not saying. Orchid. That's what I was thinking, like orky. Come here, orky. My little orky girl. What?

it just sounds like I'm saying porky which would sound really mean to say to a little girl. Come here porky. It would be O. Like an O is cute. O come here. No the more I think about it orchid is awful. Orchid. Orchid. It's cute. No but when you know the meaning it's iconic and also they wouldn't be going to real school. My kids are gonna be like thrown into the forest. They're gonna be like

John or Ted Kaczynski children. Wait, John Kaczynski? Hold on. Who are all these people? Ted Kaczynski is like the guy, like the one guy.

What one guy? The guy that, like, did all the bombing mail shit. Oh, like the freak? Yeah, but he was, like, really... His whole thing was, like, death to technology. Death to technology and death to, like, modernization. Like, reject modernity. Back to tradition. Like, that was his whole shit. But John...

Krasinski. Okay, never mind. Is that the actor? Yeah, the hot one. You thought they were related? Y'all, we found out Jon Hamm has a giant fucking penis, the biggest fucking penis I've ever seen in my life, and I need him.

Like, sometimes you say shit where I'm like, that does not need to be a sentence you've said about a real person to the world. But then I remember when I said I wanted to give Bob Odenkirk head until he had a heart attack and died. And then he had a heart attack the next week. And then I met his daughter who was listening to that episode on the plane on the way to go see him when he had his heart attack. In the hospital. Yeah.

There's a fine line. I mean it gets to a point. Do you know what I mean? Like it really gets to a point. Like recording this podcast it gets to a fucking point. I'm not kidding for the first 10 minutes when I sat down I was like. No the first like 40 minutes for me I was like. That's not like we need to keep going because it was a weird vibe. Also it was because the second I sat down I started to get high and I was like when we were talking about worldly things I really looked at the camera and I was like.

And I just had to stare at you for a second because I was like, there's people who are going to see me right now. Yeah, no, this does not make sense. Oh, my God. Wait, y'all. I got so fucking sick. Like, I was, like, on the verge of death. Oh, girl. I was really close to dying. Like, it was actually really scary. Like, it was, I was like, I might need to go to the hospital. Like, it was really bad. No, it was like the, I'm.

Like God blessed me like I really was blessed with like a very chill sickness because now I'm immune to whatever the fuck that was for the rest of the year. So I want to get it and it was so casual. It did kick my fucking ass one of the days, but I was like, you know what like

I'm going to go outside, get some sun. Yeah, I'm going to go get some sun by the river. It's going to be like a really good vibe. Like I'm just going to heal. And if I can't handle it and I do get really sick, I can just go back home. Y'all, nature fucking healed me. Like dead serious. It literally did. It healed you and Josiah. You guys were like chilling. It was crazy. Like I went out there and like almost immediately forgot about being ill. And I was like, ugh. I love water. I love big sir. I love, ugh.

I love getting in water. You know what? It does something to my brain where I actually feel stupid as fuck. Like when I get near a body of water, like a different part of my brain gets activated. That's really crazy. Epigenetic memory. Like I will get in any body of water no matter how freezing it is. Like it doesn't.

It doesn't mean anything to me, like, because it means so much to me. Yeah, exactly. But I was telling Drew that I think the future I see for myself right now is when I'm like 48, I'm going to move up to Big Sur and sell nature connection passes to really rich old white ladies.

and go down like a spiritual psychosis tunnel with myself and these ladies and take them out to the woods and be like just sit just like breathe breathe and do those kind of like meditation how to get into cold water yeah yeah um last time we were in big sir i didn't get in because i was like it's too cold it's too cold and then at the end of that trip i was so upset with myself that i didn't get fully in the water because i was like

Honestly, like I need to grow the fuck up like oh like it's too cold Like i'm gonna be cold like i'm gonna be cold for like literally two seconds Like I can't do it like actually grow up like it was pissing me the fuck off and so this time I was like writhing around in that water and it was so fucking fun and I was watercoloring I wanted to bring my airbrush and my um painting that i'm working on right now, but I forgot it and so I had the watercolor with a

Okay, Emma Chamberlain, we need to have a word. We really need to have a conversation because the watercolor kit you sent us or sent me, the colors in it. I have a feeling she didn't pick them. I think they got picked by whatever company did the PR back then. Because they make a version of it that is really iconic. Like it's like literally one of the greatest things I've ever purchased for myself like a decade ago because watercolor was my first love. Like I love the watercolor medium.

But Emma, babe, those neon colors. We actually need to have you on the podcast to discuss this because... To confront you about the matter. Yeah. No, it really did save my life. The matter being because Drew drew fucking rocks while he was sitting there and he got really anxious and sad because he thought his rocks didn't look like rocks. And I saved the day because I turned over and without knowing that, I was like, oh, did you draw the rocks? Yeah. He was so happy. But...

I redact all everything I just said because having those colors was a fun experiment to work in luminosity because they're all fucking the most luminous colors I've ever used in my life. And the paintings came out great. They came out great and they pushed boundaries for me, created boundaries that I didn't know I could get past. And there was like this willingness to create. Shut the fuck up, dude.

Because I was just looking at you and thinking about you being like, and I was writhing around and playing in the water. And I just thought about how long it took for Drew to actually get in. Like, he was like, he was like, can you get this video of me floating on the water? And I literally got like 20 minutes worth of him circling waist deep. And yeah, it was three minutes worth of footage, not 20. And I was in the water. I just didn't want to get above my like diaphragm because I don't know why. Okay, as...

a guy getting your penis and balls in the water is a lot like the guys know what I'm talking about like that shit takes a lot to get it and once you get past that it's pretty easy but then the next hurdle is your diaphragm because it like compresses up and like it makes you go

Like it's I don't like that feeling so that's where I couldn't get past but for the most part the whole day I was like walking around like belly deep in the water, but I just eventually it took me time, but I got in I love that water so much and it's so fucking cold y'all like i'm not exaggerating It's gotta be 45 degrees. Oh, it might be colder Like it was so cold that it felt like my hands hurt within seconds of being in that water I want to look it up

Dude, it's 85 degrees. What? Girl, what the fuck is this website? I can't stand websites like this. Like, too many words. Put it in bold. Yeah, like, literally. What are you talking about? Here, let me ask chat GPT. I'm not going to ask chat GPT. 45.

Felt colder to me. That is like horribly cold. 45 is awful. Like the thing is, I want to drink it. Like I wish you could just drink the water there. But would I die or would I get sick if I drink water? I think you'd be fine. But don't drink creek water unfiltered. Like boil it first. But there's just the chance that there's brain eating amoebas in there. Yeah, every time I like swim around with my head underwater and I like...

I'll do this thing where I dunk the sides of my head so that my hair can lay with the middle part. And every time I do that, so much water gets in my ears and I'm really convinced that I'm going to die. Do girls pee out of their clitoris? Like is the hole out of the clitoris? Yeah, all three of the holes are there. Okay.

Because we have five holes. It's the three on the clitoris and then there's one. What about the sixth hole? The sixth hole? The belly button. Oh, yeah. The belly button with the chicken wing. Oh, the substance. I've seen it twice in the last week.

It was like the first movie I've ever seen alone, actually. And going and seeing that alone is a cooked ass fucking vibe. I actually don't know if I've been to the movies alone because I'm not a fucking loser. But I have. I have been a lot more social with strangers. I don't know if you've noticed. I noticed he was talking to the man next to us in substance. And I was like, hello, I'm right here. Why are you talking to that man? I love like just like chopping it up with people. Like, are you chopping it up? Have you been chopping it up?

You've been chopping it up? Yeah. I love just like having conversations with strangers and honestly it is really dark-sided and sad how bad we all are at talking to strangers because I'm really bad at it and the other person is really bad at it and I think we just need to be a little more comfortable. A little more sociable? Yeah, a little more sociable. But yeah, the substance so good. Go see it. It's

- Oh, so good. - I know it is like, I always get scared when movies get a lot of appraisal because I'm like, I don't know, I'm a piece of shit and I'll go in with an overly critical eye and then be like, I didn't like it probably subconsciously just to be different.

And I was really scared of that happening with this movie, but I actually loved it so much. And it made me audibly laugh so many times. It was funny, y'all. Yeah, which did make me think like, damn, like it just made it like so much better. And I don't want to get into like,

the cinephile talk of it all but you just have to see yeah we'll give it like another two weeks before we talk about it so everyone watching this can go find a way to see it and pay for that goddamn movie because it deserves to make 25 million in the box office not the measly 17 only two million dollars profit because that movie was a masterpiece and like so much money it was so fucking good it was so good um

We are too far in the future for us to still be doing those fake weird future car videos. Do you know what I'm talking about? When it's like, this is like the highly, and I think it's kind of like an art form or medium, but the concept cars, I don't give a fuck. Like you're showing me like literally that's like what my vibrator shape. Like you put it upside down. That's what all those cars are shaped like because they don't have wheels and they're just like this, like,

i don't give a fuck like none of those cars literally can't drive faster than two miles so it might as well be a fucking go-kart like it's pissing me off and we will never reach that in our lifetimes because look at the concept cars fucking a hundred years ago like we're not even close to what they were theorizing also it's literally just like to boost morale like what like what is the point not even that but like

we're already at the future like we already have cars that drive themselves we've already established floating cars and not gonna happen they said flying cars were gonna be a thing in 2024 they said it was gonna be a thing in 2019 and blade runner it was like 2019 but instead they got drew and inya hosting a podcast called emergency intercom which might actually be better it is the future no i'm not kidding we were watching nurse jackie before getting on this and i was like josh

we're gonna have to take a pause because just like these people go to work in this show and they're saving lives, I have a duty to fulfill and I have to go and sit in my chair and save lives. 'Cause that's what I do at the end of the day. Like when people ask, what do you do? What are your aspirations? - Exactly. - I can't help but laugh at them 'cause I'm like, aspirate, like, oh, you think I'm gonna say how much money I wanna make or something? I'm like, no. - No, we wanna save lives. - I'm in this to save lives. - Yeah, we like, we save lives, we give life to people.

Laughter is the cure. Meaningful. Yeah. Yeah. Meaningful connections. Yeah. It's just it's very special. Yeah. And you guys should listen to the things we say because I know you think we're just being funny half the time. But half of you guys are like really weird. Y'all are listening. You're like so weird. You're a weird person and you should be anxious.

you're listening but you're not hearing yeah you're listening but you're not hearing you're not digesting you're not really really hearing what we're saying i'm not kidding drew we need to do a full episode where that's all we do it's like an hour of like being on a like fictional high horse and just being awful and y'all have to be in on it so we have to leave this in because i just want to see if it ever got clipped breaches if it breached people being like

Why would anybody listen to that? That's so rude. We just need to be like egomaniacs. Like, you know how like sometimes in like movie, like press tours, like an actress will be talking about like themselves and like, or an actor will just be talking about himself and it's just like- Super pretentious. It's horrible, pretentious, awful energy. We need to channel that. Yeah. Yeah.

I think I'm going to do that for my real life with all the people I love. Guys, Halloween is coming up. Oh, my God. And let's just say the devil made me do it. We have good ass costumes planned. Y'all, I'm doing a costume change. I'm doing a costume change in the middle of the episode. Drew, low key. I need to do this. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Ew, I hate hearing my own voice, bro. I can't believe I have to listen to this later. Like...

I am a federal agent I'm a federal agent got a problem with it because I'm Indian too I'm Vietnamese this bit tried to free the world so who's gonna sell me my iPhone this is trying to free the world so who's gonna sell me my iPhone so who's gonna sell me my iPhone oh also like should we wow you really okay so are we integrating um I'm trying to change the world or or this is trying to change the world

or who's gonna tell me my iphone yeah that's what i feel like because like the world saving thing if somebody random hears us say that they'll think we're being serious yeah it's the iphone bar um and then it's wow you really left me on this height like you really you really left me on this height which is that from mia khalifa yeah is that the song that it's in i don't know if it's in that song i don't think so either it's from oh no it is it is it's at the very end yeah um

Why did that come back into rotation? Because anytime we talk about a hike, we just like Josiah or I will just be like, wow, you really left me on this hike. I feel like it. Yeah. But we just like if someone wrongs you, like take something from you.

shows up late to something you're at you say wow you really left me on this hike like you really left me like it's fucked up because we were talking about how we just take random shit like that and we make it a part of our vocabulary and all of us we don't talk about it it just starts we all get on it we all understand the context of it and part of me is like wow that makes us actually pretty intelligent because we hear that we pick it up we move it it goes on for a while something new comes it happens again

But then I really started to think about it. I'm like, we sound like crazy people. Half the time, like the shit we choose to quote is... Like my mama Bertram. My mama Bertram. Then we made a whole world. Like my mama Bertram gave birth to the twins, Laurel and Yenny. Laurel and Yenny, yeah. And Pilot Jones is the... Pilot Jones is the father, but Harley Davidson is...

the mistress like yeah like the who's also partially seeing wingling yeah exactly um i feel like we've actually we've dissected that but oh yeah we've gone into that but yeah the new one is wow you really left me on this hike so who's gonna sell me my iphone who's gonna sell me my iphone we don't really have a context like in a way to use that yet but like

It'll come soon. Y'all, the animations, like the emergency intercom clip animations, like on TikTok are so fucking good. Like I saw another one like... That I will say we have always had like listeners and an audience full of such creative people. And we always say it like creative and gorgeous. And I recently saw somebody say that and they were like...

These are the first people to say that and it actually has been proven to be true. Like when we say it, a bitch, because I would not say it but I didn't believe it. We have pretty fans. I hate the word fans. It literally sounds fucking crazy. I know. Okay, Drew. Oh, man.

"I'm not sending flowers to your job, that shit's basic. I'ma send a bomb threat so you can have the day off 'cause I love you, babe." That's good. "Bitches get stomach cramps and swear they're pregnant. Ho, fart and lay your ass down." That's literally me to Josiah. Actually, Josiah just literally needs to fart. Ugly Bitches' favorite line is, "I'm far from ugly. Nah, bitch, your GPS says you've reached your destination."

Leah, Leah, you're too good, girl. Stop making TikToks with Android. Stop making TikToks with Android. That shit looked like surveillance footage. I think I'm going to move to a flip phone. Not the Samsung one, but I've been seeing people with ones that are like a flip phone with the old Motorola keypad and then their touchscreen too. Have you seen that? I want one of those.

Bitches with no furniture be like get the fuck out of my house girl. Fuck you and the skating rink I cannot believe I'm alive like if you cut me open I would don't like like I have bones you wouldn't even be able to cut me up. Don't even get me fucking started also Elton John Farted at our movie and cum spilled all over the floor out of his bottle Media

Elton John farted a cum puddle on the floor of our movie. It was really scary and stinky. You're watching this trailer for Smile. The girl in the movie is fucking gorgeous, but they had her in this funky-ass leotard costume with a little blonde wig on. I just go, oh my God, Elton John. We had a time. We had a goof and a gaff.

Okay, my media is obviously the substance. Go fucking see that shit. Please. And we've been rewatching or I've been rewatching Heather. I've been rewatching Nurse Jackie and just watching it for the first time. So still, I know we said it last week, but like, please tap the fucking. So good. I'm realizing how much of a show person I am. Like, I will watch a show. One thing about me is I will watch the show, but it's because I put that damn fortnight down. But before night.

A.A., Nothing Else I Can Say, Lady Gaga, Boys, Sabrina, Klaws, Charlie XCX, and Bimbo Doll, Tyla. Tila, y'all. Boys by Sabrina? Boys, boys. Oh, okay. I thought you meant Carpenter. I was like, what? No. Y'all, that Bimbo Doll song has ruined my life. I listened to it. I only listened to that song. And I don't know what it is.

Like about that song. But like, bro, that shit is so cunt. Like I love it. I know you listen to it literally like so often. And I haven't heard you sesh a song like that in so long. Since like X-Doll Crystal. Yeah. Like you haven't been having repeat songs. I don't know what the fuck it is about that song. And also like it was crazy because I played that 35 times on the way to...

Oh, I thought you were like actually choking on spit. No, no, that's me acting like my lips got glued together and I couldn't speak. Oh, okay. I'll stop talking then.

No, I was on the way to The Substance and I watched that fucking song or listened to that song 35 times on the way without knowing what The Substance was about. Oh yeah, I was going to say, did you just so happen to like that song right before? Yeah, I was just like listening to the, listening like the fuck out of that song. And then I left that movie and I was like, wow, that was ironic. And then proceeded to listen to it all the way home. You know, it's more proof to me that that movie is just so good. Yeah.

So many movies, even like some of my favorite movies, rely so much on soundtracking. Music is such a helpful part to a movie. And when a movie has a soundtrack like Substance, which is essentially nothing of importance. Oh, what was that? Do I stink? No.

What were you saying? You must... Oh, is it my tuna box? It's the box. It's the tuna box. Yeah, thank you. That always happens. Put that down. Dude, actually, I'm so sad that it's going to start getting cold again in the house. Because, like, we have to turn on the heat. Are you relating your stinky tuna box to, like, how hot it is outside? No, no. Okay, there is, like, a crinkling sound. Josiah. Wait, I...

No, I was going to say because when it's cold outside, we have to turn on the heaters and then the whole house smells really bad because it's essentially cooking. Yeah, it's essential oils, tuna box style. Okay, we need to... Oh, wait, I have to do media. But you were saying something...

I don't remember. Yeah, it's not that deep. It's nothing of importance. I'm losing my mind. The craziest part is the substance being an allegory for the menstruation cycle. Oh, I was saying that that's proof it's a really good movie because it doesn't have any songs that are like soundtracks that somebody would want to walk away listening to or any like...

Notariable songs used in it. Because so many movies, like I even think of the first Joker, I thought the movie was okay, but I wanted to see it so bad because they used a really good song in the trailer. Like movies use that so hard.

As like a plan B and the substance has two songs in it and they're like those weird fake songs. I love those songs. Yeah. Or the boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Oh, yeah. I think it was inspired by Sophie, which is tea. That's fire. Like I think the dude that made or the person that made the music was talking about I was inspired by like Sophie. Well, I'm inspired by you every day. And you know what's crazy? What?

It's the same goes for you, babe. Thank you. Well, I'm like trying to find I haven't been listening to like new music. I've just kind of been repeating stuff. My music media is bidding my time. Robert Lester Folsom. Are you sleeping? Harry Nilsson. Panavision. Roy Blair. A music video. I know it's such a good music video. Lost in your eyes. Tommy James and the Shondells. And that's it.

And other than that, I've been just like literally playing the same shit because my discovery. Whoa. My discover weekly sucks ass now. I don't know why it literally it's still trying to get me to listen to fucking Elvis.

And I don't know how many times I have to tell you that's not gonna fucking happen. Elvis and Johnny Cash, baby. I love Johnny Cash. I didn't know Johnny Cash was a real person until I was like 15. Literally last night. Yeah, actually, last night I saw a picture of Johnny Cash for the first time. Yo, I used to be... No. Bye.