Stinky Clowns From Space
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*Dramatic music*

Hello, it's Anya and Drew from the future cutting in again. Is this our second cut in? Yeah. We're so cutty like that. We just wanted to let you know that we talk about some really deep and dark serious shit that may be a little triggering to some people. So we wanted to put a little warning in here. We speak on D-E-A-T-H.

That was hard for me. But yeah, we just want to let you know. Just to let you know. It is not for the fragile of mind. And if you're not feeling your best mentally, maybe skip out on this. And we'll see you next episode. But for those of you who are brave. Not brave. Sorry. I'm saying the wrong words. So people who are afraid of death, they're triggered by death, aren't brave in you? Let's open that up.

Bye. Enjoy. Hello. Welcome back to the next episode of Emergency Intercom. I don't want to say a number because who knows? Who knows? You might have filmed three or four of these and scrapped them. Don't fucking kiss me, bitch. You can't kiss my hands, only my lips. Ew, your face when I said that is so scary. You know I want to.

So we decided we should open this episode up again about our mental health. I feel like we talk about our mental health in every single episode. Because it's such a big part of our lives. It really does. It is the core center of us. It literally affects us so much. And people are like, why don't y'all post so often? It's because we are literally mentally ill. But with that being said, I woke up today after being trapped for three days in purgatory, like mental purgatory, where like...

I completely feel nothing. I have zero motivation. Like life just doesn't have that lust that you'd expect. And I woke up today and I was like, I feel fucking good today. And then I kept just repeating, like, I'm going to feel good today. Today is going to be a good day. And I like affirmatively,

affirmed that and I feel great. I feel awesome. I mean, it's only 1.30. It can get worse. It can take a down. No, no, no. I agree though. Like with that ideology, I was telling Drew, I think I've said it before online too and I probably sounded crazy. But when I was in that really bad Depressive episode in 2019, I remember I was in Miami and I was texting a friend and I was like, I think I literally have to wake up and just...

myself it's going to be okay because like every day I wake up and my first thought is like, this is miserable. I can't believe my eyes just opened and I can like see the world and I am here. Like literally me for the past three days, I was like, I don't want to, I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Um,

But no, I woke up and me and Josh talked about it briefly last night. And I was like, no, it's like fully real. So like before even before I went to bed, I was like, tomorrow's gonna be a great day. Because like it really is like what you feed your brain, like what you think about yourself is how you're gonna feel. And I just thought good thoughts and good things are happening. And so let that be a lesson. If you're sitting around like a little lazy sack of shit, and you're like, I'm depressed. I hate my life. Fix

literally just smile like just smile and fix your depression turn that frown upside down and it'll go away all you have to do is just stop thinking about it no but it actually does help because i remember i would be like okay i'm gonna like point out a positive thing that happened every day even if it was the tiniest fucking thing i because literally sometimes you'll be so deep into a depressive episode you're like literally clinging to nothing you're like oh no but like my

my fucking cereal this morning. Like something about it was so good. I ordered cat food to the door. Like I have to wake up to get that. Yeah. I got to go run my errand or my cat will die. Like something just clinging to anything. And if you make those clings

Positive you might surprise yourself. You might surprise yourself. No, like can we talk about how that tweet? Um, Cameron Dallas tweeted like 15 years ago is like still haunting him to this day It's like still the biggest joke ever which one when he was like if you're depressed just smile Like that was him all that shit came from him. He was like if you're depressed just smile. Oh, thank you. Oh

Thank you, Cameron. No, like literally, but that's exactly what I just said. I was like, thinking back to it, I was like,

Hmm, but no it is true a little bit like it does help. But also we're speaking from our personal experience something that's helped us like it might not help everybody and sometimes it doesn't help but sometimes it does. Everyone in the comments is like just get medicated, medicate yourself. Please, please go see a professional. I see a professional but I refuse to take medication. Yeah, I'm wearing a cap today because I miscalculated my hair wash days and my hair is really fucking greasy. Just had to point that out.

Literally, I don't think anyone would have questioned why you're wearing a hat. You didn't have to say that. I just wanted to. Like, you wear hats all the time. I wanted to say that. If I pulled up with a fucking baseball cap on, then people would be like, all right, bitch, let's see that scalp. Let's see the scalp crush. I know it's greasy. I forgot where I was. Oh, I went, the day I wore that, like, Elmer Fudd, um...

I was out for ice cream with Mason and Dante and I like took it off to talk about how greasy my hair was. It was literally like laid flat like I put gel in it. - It stuck to your head, the cap stuck to your head. - And that's okay 'cause you have to train your hair to be oily. - And also it's healthy and also when you get three weeks deep and you ring out the oil, it's actually free cooking oil. - I'm excited I'm gonna start slapping people.

- I just, like, started doing it. Like, I literally gave you permission to. Just like I, okay, you know those videos of, oh my god, I thought I fell. - I know what you're about to talk about. - You know those videos of people getting massive amounts of disgusting, rotting food poured all over them when they're asleep? Or gallon buckets of water poured on them, or mustard bottles squirted on them? I gave everyone in my life permission to do that to me, just when I'm least expecting it.

And, like, the other night I fell asleep when everyone was still awake. And, like, I heard Kai mention. He was like, we should, like, mustard. We should do it to Drew. And I, like, actually, like, got so fucking angry inside. I was like, I swear to God if they try to do that shit to me right now, I will freak the fuck out. I know. Every time you keep saying, like, y'all have permission to do that to me. We literally, like, you can't make noise around Drew when he's asleep. He will fall asleep in the middle of all the fun. And then be, like, wake up and be like...

Or like you do this thing where you like toss around really angrily instead of saying anything.

Like everyone will just be in the living room like chatting it up and then I'm like I just doze off. I fall asleep and then I get actually angry when people wake me up when I'm the one that's sleeping in the wrong spot. Like it's actually like so wrong. Like I'll storm out of the room. Yeah, literally. I'm not actually angry. It's just like I'm fucking tired and I'm like woken up. No, I feel that. When we went to that waterfall thing, I like I was falling.

falling asleep and I was having one of those nights where like for some reason I think usually I'm pretty good at that like if I fall asleep around people I like usually don't make a fuss or say anything about it because I can literally sleep through anything but in on this like in Big Sur I was falling asleep and they we all fell asleep watching something on the TV and I was like turn it off turn it off like and

And Josh was being really nice because we had to share a bed. He was like, do you like, is it the light or is it the noise? I was like, it's the light. Both. Turn it off. And I was like, turn it off. Turn it off. Christian was on the other side of the room eating chips. Oh, God. And I was trying so hard. I know those chips stink like shit. No, actually, before the chips, him and Lucas were whispering to each other. And all I hear was like. Ew. And I was like, all I fucking hear right now is.

Like, and I said that and then they like just kind of laughed but then stopped. And then I couldn't hear Christian eating his chips and trying so hard to be quiet because it would be like, like, and then he would just be like, like of the bag. The worst type of angry is when you're like actually angry and then like the people you're angry at just laugh at you. It's literally me

I was gonna mention Miami like dude that shit was actually diabolical that was rude It's chill now, but like literally I was so mad I snapped it was like my breaking point like I Snapped like I was asleep peacefully in the room and you know Ryan had like gone out and I was like I don't want to like go out to a club tonight I'm like good just like hanging out and like going to sleep early whatever and

and like Inyo and Orion stumble in like three hours later I was like dead asleep and they are just like literally the loudest I've ever heard them be in my entire life they were like it felt like they were like let's be as loud as possible to piss off Drew in particular what's fucked up is that

I don't remember thinking for a second about the fact that you were sleeping in there. Like, I was just on one. And I, like, I tried my hardest. I really did. I, like, covered my head with my pillow. You were doing... I did my thrash. I thrashed a couple times, like, as a warning sign. It's, like, literally me, like, warning y'all. It's, like, I'm about to snap if y'all don't shut the fuck up. And then I just snap. I don't even remember what I said. You were like, this is literally the meanest thing anyone's ever done to me. Like, I mean...

And Peter Ryan just laughed. It was so mean. And I was like, wow. I've, like, actually was, like, really angry. Like, it was, like, in my heart angry, like, seeing Rad. Um...

But yeah, literally. It's okay because Orion and Josh and you, I think, got paid back on me the next night because when I slept over the next night, you might have been asleep, but Josh and Orion were literally talking over my body and like FaceApping pictures of each other and flash photoing each other over my dead body. Dude, there's like really funny videos from like when it was just me and Orion and Josh in the room of us literally just being fucking like rambunctious children, like just jumping from bed to bed and like...

It's ridiculous. Dude, I'm not kidding. Getting a hotel room with your friends is so fun. It's so fun. Like double beds, like all bunking together. It's like actually way more fun than an Airbnb in my opinion. Yeah, I don't fuck with Airbnbs, but that's also because I'm literally like banned. Yeah, I'm fucking banned too because of y'all. Not because of me. I didn't stay there and I didn't dye my hair at your Airbnb. It's literally because of...

He who shall not be named. I won't air him out like that, but someone had a little fun dying their hair in an Airbnb. Someone dyed their hair in an Airbnb that I booked that I wasn't able to stay at because I was exposed to COVID. And so I was like...

whatever y'all can just stay there like have fun I was like devastated like internally but I wasn't gonna project that onto y'all and then like halfway through the trip or I mean the trip's over and the next day I get an email saying like the room was destroyed the towels were stained the tub was stained like all this crazy shit with like red hair dye and I was like who the fuck dyed their hair in my Airbnb and she gave me a terrible rating and now I can't book anywhere on anything it was not me but it's it's chill because like

It originally was you booking all the Airbnbs on your account. I know. And then my shit got... And then your shit got fucked up. And then now it's me. And I was like, fuck, I hate booking Airbnbs on my account. And now anytime we book an Airbnb, it's not on us. We're going to put it on someone else. Literally the someone else is Orion. Orion's the only...

only other party event planner in the group it's me drew and orion we're like the trifecta of events yeah people just don't appreciate the events we put on and we're like people don't appreciate it when our friend group literally raves about it for the next like three weeks and that's why we keep doing it because we get like we get so much serotonin from them being like i just had the best night of my life and we're like

Yeah. I'm sure you did. We did that. But yeah, that wasn't me. I like hotels though. And I don't fuck with Airbnbs. They're overpriced. They're kind of fucking creepy. They are creepy. Like, okay.

bleep this out in post but Shane Dawson was onto something with that fucking video with all the spy cameras and shit like that had me paranoid still that still has me paranoid you didn't say bleep this out in post you didn't say anything crazy bleep out his name Shane Dawson derogatory um motherfucker was a fear-mongering monster dude I like was looking back on all of his videos recently and like

Like, it was literally just, like, conspiracy theorist nut job. Like, Alex Jones, like, weird. Chaos agent. Yeah, chaos agent weird shit. Like, sending fear into everybody. And literally everyone sat around their TVs in big groups and watched that fucking show together. That Chuck E. Cheese shit was so fucking funny. I don't give a fuck if they reuse slices. Chuck E. Cheese pizza is so fucking good. They better reuse slices. That's probably what makes them so good is they sit out and get all the little kids on them. The little crust on them. Exactly. And also, it's like, wasting less food. Like, hello. Yeah.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Chuck E. Cheese is doing what's supposed to be done. I am like the next topic is on the forefront of my brain, but it's like touchy. Which one? The bussy debate. Oh my God. The bussy debate. Okay. So...

I don't know why. A little bit of history. A little bit of lore. Let's start there. So, there was a moment where I think you were super obsessed with saying bussy. Yeah. I think everyone went through a moment where like... Like two, three years ago. Yeah, where bussy was the word. And then one time I referred to my own bussy. And Drew...

Got very angry. It was like, girls can't have pussies. It's a boy... I don't like saying the word. It's a boy pussy. Okay, but it could also be a butt pussy. Like...

I just don't think girls have pussies. That's all I'm saying. And here's my argument. I'm like, who is the originator of the pussy? Woman. So we have every right to come and send a cease and desist to the word pussy because the half end of it is literally us. But who was the one that created the word pussy?

Gay men exactly and I'm not trying to take anything from gay men god bless But if I would like to refer to my fucking homophobic homophobic If I would like to refer to my butthole as pussy I've every right to but it just it's it's

Okay, so realistically, I would never be like, oh, my pussy. Like, I would never actually say it. But, like, I just like the idea that if I would like to reserve a place in time for me to refer to it as my pussy, I can say it. My only argument in this situation is boy pussy. That's all the ammo I have. And you have your rebuttals and you can argue forever about it. I guess, yeah, when I think of pussy, I do think of boy pussy. But, like, why can't I have, I want a boy pussy. You want to be a part of the fun.

i just like want to be a part of the moment and like i don't i don't want to be i want to have a pussy well too damn bad it's probably my internalized misogyny coming up that's what it is that's the real conversation that needs to be had you want a pussy so bad that you denounce women from having a pussy um but that was that was literally it like we just

Debate about this pretty often. It's like it happens maybe once every six months like when the but this thing Started happening on tik-tok it became a topic of conversation again Like it happens once every six months where we get into this little scuffle about it and then we bring other people in and we're like can girls have pussies and It's pretty like it's pretty even like people like either agree or like strongly disagree like it's like

It's an even argument. So, like, in the comments, let us know, like, can girls have pussies? Guys, can you please let us know if, like, I, as a woman, am capable of obtaining the...

metaphor of bussy like may I have may I please have a bussy debate in the comments debate bussy in the comments when you say debate in the comments I literally think about people like with swords and fucking like knives like shanking each other over it I mean that's what it will come to we just love creating discourse we literally have not no one was having discourse like literally

We thought we were like, whoa, we're about to like downward spiral this shit. We're about to set the world on fire. Nothing. Absolutely nothing because no one cares about us. That's not true. It's actually not true. Well, billionaires are going to space.

I don't like that. Okay, but we've... Oh, actually, I think on... Redacted episode. Yeah, on one of the redacted episodes, we talked about this. So should we open this up? Because it kind of falls into the same... Yeah, we can open it up, but I've changed my mind on it fully. Like, I fully think it's whack now. Like space travel? Yeah.

Not like little commercialized space travel. I'm like, oh, like, why? What's the fucking point? Like, yeah, we have airplanes like we're kind of doing enough. Like, why do we need to go to capitalize fucking space? Like,

So basically in a redacted episode that might be on a Patreon. We might start a Patreon. I don't know. We do a lot of things where we say things and we don't do them. Should we start a Patreon because we're operating in a negative deficit and we are making no money and it's like starting to hurt my bank account a little bit. Would you like to assist us?

But we have an episode where we talk about that. I am anti-space travel. I just don't get it. I'm like, why do y'all want to go out there so bad? Like, I don't get it. I'm here. Like, I'm grounded in reality. My reality is here. I'm not about to be fucking kicking rocks on the moon. Like, if you...

Everyone on the planet Earth decided like, "Enya's the one going to the moon." No, bitch, I'm killing myself. I don't wanna fucking go to the moon. There's no one there. There's nothing there. - I would wholeheartedly, I would accept that fully. Like if someone was like, "Go to the moon." I'd be like, "Yeah, I'm going to the fucking moon." With a guarantee I wouldn't explode in space.

Like I would fully go. No, I don't want that. I want like attention for being like hot and funny and like creative. You'd be the hot funny creative first hot funny creative. No, I'd be the fucking nerd on the moon. No, you'd be the first hot funny creative girl on the moon. If I could, okay, if I could go to the moon with my tits out, I would go to the moon. Girl, you can. In this hypothetical, you can. Okay, then yeah, I'm going to the moon. Yeah. Reconvincing you to go to the moon. Like you can have your tits out if you want. You literally can't like.

I guess if they built a suit with like a shell around my chest. Well, they will free the nipple in our lifetime. Like the nipple will be free. I believe that. Can you shut your fucking mouth? Like just think before you speak.

But basically, I don't believe in moon travel. Drew has also, I guess, commercialized. I don't fuck with billionaires going to the moon. We need to kill these motherfuckers. There, I said it. Literally, you're Wendy Williams. Am I really? Like, oh. Damn. To all of them. Death. Death to the billionaires. Literally, though. Wait, did she actually say that? No, she didn't say to the billionaires. You, like, really gave a show of it. I was like. No, I agree, though. Like, kind of. I don't think, like.

Like, we should kill them, but we should figure something out where they like suffer. No killing people. I don't know. But like, girl, we need to lock you up in a cage. Like, we need to put you in a corner. It is so unethical to have that amount of money. That much money. It makes no sense. Like, what are you doing with it? And I understand the whole argument. Like, well, Jeffrey Bezos doesn't actually have that money. It's all tied up in stocks. Well, like...

Fuck off. Like I don't care. He shouldn't have the like capability of like pulling that money out. Yeah. If that even makes sense. But like literally it's kind of crazy because if he did, he would destroy the world. Like if he was just like one day, like I want to liquidate Amazon and sell all my stocks. Like it would actually destroy the world for a little bit. Because like we are so Amazonified after the pandemic. I know. If I would have to like go get my cat food, that would destroy me.

Yeah, try to like leave the house. The house. But yeah, um, billionaires going to space is stupid and I would have loved to watch one of the rockets blow up. That would be fucking awesome. But then what would happen? Who would take over his spot? Probably some, Jeffrey Bezos stepped down like a month ago or some shit like that. Like he stepped down from like, I don't know, I don't care at all, truly, because

But he stepped down as a position. And I had a theory. I was like, the rocket's going to blow up, but he's not actually going to be in the rocket. And he's going to fake his death and, like, live his life out on some, like, random island. Not you talking about the fucking Shane Dossification of conspiracy theories and then sitting here talking about Jeff Bezos faking his death. He would, though. Like, if I was there, I would. It sounds like you would. You don't know this man. Yeah, I do. Like, we hang out.

I'm sure a lot of y'all have noticed we don't have many ads anymore and you're probably thinking, "Wow, oh my god, I feel so bad for them. They deserve ads." But we're doing our job, you're not doing your job. You need to fucking subscribe and engage with me or I will never do my job again. I can't believe I miss reading ads. I miss the taste.

Also, no one commented on in the first episode when we fully lied about us hanging out with Timothee Chalamet and people like just kind of didn't even address it at all. Because we weren't lying. I forgot we weren't lying. Yeah. Oh my God, it was at the Chateau. Yes. Like you were just drunk and you forgot. No, that's a story for a different time. But like actually though, like me and Elon Musk like hanging out at Burning Man like...

That was odd, and I wasn't there, and I'm glad I wasn't there. But, yeah. But it was cool because it was, like, his camp. Like, it was, like, it was campy. He was serving camp. He was looking camp directly into the eye. No, but literally all billionaires should, like, be set on fire ethically. Yeah.

Using these big words ethically and sustainably we should deconstruct the capitalistic ideology. I have such a high IQ like it's actually dangerous how high my IQ is and like you have like a really high EQ like an emotional talent like that's good to have but like for me my high IQ is like really dangerous and honestly it makes it hard for me to even exist in like a world where like everyone is just like less smart than me.

I'm not kidding, I actually am fucking, putt-fuck stupid. Like, I say that shit all the time and people are like, "No, you're not." And I'm like, "Girl, I am stupid." You're not, though. Like, you... IQ is not, like...

Like it doesn't tell you how like you have like really great intuition. That's kind of like a backhanded comment. I know you're like no girl you might be stupid but like that gut feeling. But it's true like I would rather have like great intuition. I'm like it's not that I'm stupid. I'm just like kind of an airhead. Like when people talk to me I'm like.

But maybe that's my attention issue. Yeah, that's not. When people talk to me and explain things to me, I'm literally like, you might as well be doing backflips right now. Ooh, for an episode, we should get, like, professionally done IQ tests and finally, like, see, like, what it is. I'm so down. Like, I genuinely don't know. I've never taken an IQ test. I've taken those bullshit online ones that tell you that you're, like, an actual super genius when you take it, but, like... I've taken the gifted...

Test to get into gifted. Did you pass? Yes, my parents would let me do it. But that's okay though because I also was kind of against it. Like they didn't have to do it and I was like I want to do this so I can say I'm gifted. But like the gifted class in my school was literally like eight people. Yeah, it's so deep. And I was like

y'all are fucking nerds losers and then worms yeah four eyes actually brace i think i took it i got in and then that was in fifth grade like when i had just started fifth grade and they were like oh also if you want you can skip to sixth grade oh hell no and then my parent i wanted to skip to sixth grade but my parents were like no you shouldn't be hanging out with like older kids and also thank god they did that because like

I had all my fucking homies in elementary, like, me and my girls. So yeah, I'm smart as fuck when I was... No, I feel like... I don't know what I'm up to now. I feel like everyone was, like... If you're on the internet now and, like, you absorb internet content, like, when you were, like, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, like, you had a higher reading level than, like, your grade. Yeah, but the internet... And now you're, like, actually stupid as shit and brain-rotted. Oh, yeah.

I was going to say, also the internet is so big. The dumb bitches are on there. They've migrated. They're just not on our side. Maybe in 2014, if you were like Cudi, it was like, oh my God, I'm so crazy. Like I'm different. But now it's like- Everyone's on the internet. Billy Joe Bob is live on TikTok at 3 a.m. I love those TikTok lives so much. Mine are just so different because I go on, if you ever see me, I'm trolling, but I go on TikTok on my main account on people's lives. And it's like always,

My TikTok always gives me like men trying to be sexy and I always go on there and troll them. And I'm like, oh my God, your voice, your raspy voice, you're so fucking sexy. You're like so hot. Like, is it wrong to say I'm horny right now? Oh my God. And then, oh, one time the,

a guy like read the comment out loud and then he like screenshotted it and I was like actually please stop I like please delete this I have a boyfriend and I like kept saying that and then all the comments were like damn bitch like get off this live yeah like I'm telling on you and then he didn't address it he just laughed at it

But why did he screenshot that also? I think because he touched my account. He was like, 292K, what do you do? I'm like, bitch, TikTok. Like, we're both on here. Like, what do you mean, what do I do? I do everything. I dabble. We really do dabble, though. I would rather live a life of dabbling than a committed life of... Literally me with YouTube. I dabble. I dabble in my main job. I dabble. I dabble. I dabble. I...

I always bring this up to India and I've had a change of heart recently. That's the name of this episode, a change of heart. But I always bring up this hypothetical. I'm like, India, if I lost the lower half of my body, like would you...

take care of me and from jump i've always said no and it actually like hurt my feelings i know when i first said it he like actually got so upset i got like quiet like i got quiet sad i was like he also you asked this while i was taking you somewhere to run an errand like i was like i'm you already playing mommy no i i used to think like well like you're like my best friend like you should be willing to give up your life to like wheel me around in my like

half hemi state where I don't have legs and then I was like would you change I was like okay all the legs should aside you don't have to take care of me would you change my colostomy back and I said fuck no and I was like girl I would change your colostomy back and actually on top of that I would eat it like one of those applesauce like I would eat the colostomy because that's just how much I love you um well I love you with all my fucking heart but that's not my goddamn job like

Would you come visit me? Yeah, I would like hang out with you still. Three times a week. Yeah, that's nothing. I see you 24-7. Like I would...

I am pretty traditional that I believe, one, that's a partner's job. And even at that, like, I wouldn't expect a romantic partner to do that. Yeah, that's a parent's job. I'm like, bitch, I'm putting you in a fucking U-Haul and chipping your ass back to Texas. You're strapping me back. I'm not even letting you get out of my life. You're throwing me like a football bag. Realistically, if I'm ever in that predicament and I'm in a coma and they're like, he will live if we cut off the lower half of his body, fucking kill me. Kill me. I don't want to live that life. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. My dad says that shit too.

to me all the time he's like I don't want to be a fucking vegetable kill me exactly okay bitch because I won't be the same I will be bitter and angry at the world and I will hate everything actually it would be so funny I know like I'm like girl we if our podcast is doing well I'm not cut as a plug make a chair like this but like I'm knocking on that skull and being like hello are

Are you still there? Hello! But yeah, I just, I can't do that taking care shit. Like, I like to think I already play kind of a mommy role with my friends, and this already is too much. I'm like, I'm already too much of a mommy right now. Mommy, I need milk. You don't give me milk. You claim to be mommy, but you don't give me milk. Do you want my boob milk? Yes.

I'll make that happen for you. I'll get pregnant and then like eight months in, drop the baby so I can still be producing like breast milk maybe. And I'll give you the milk and kill the baby. Okay, I'm down for that. I'm actually down for that. And we could like use it stem cells to like regenerate our youth.

Is that how that works? I don't want to be fucking young forever, bitch. I want to be 30. You want to be 30 sexy. 30 is a different sexy. I don't want to be 30 because I'm like, I want to be older. I literally only want to be 30 because I genuinely do believe, not to say I can be kind of sexy now, but I think I still have- Kind of is the key word there. Literally kind of. I think still when I'm on my sexy-

it's like kind of funny because I'm like still a little young yeah like I'm not young by any means but like I don't know I feel me and Orion talk about this all the time like Orion said this year she finally feels like a woman and like she's turning 25 and she's like I finally am feeling like very womanly in like nature and I still sometimes I'm like I'm a girl like

But I think that's because like, I don't know. That's like also just my self-perception. I'm sure. No one looks at me and thinks, oh my God, that's a girl. People deaf look at me and are like, that's a woman. But I still feel like, but that's also because I'm like a honky tonky dumb fuck. Like I'm just kind of like airheaded. So I'm like, yeah, I think it's like,

I think like for guys it's like completely different like the older you get like the creepier you get and it's like really scary and you start balding and like it's gross it's really scary but I

I'm excited to become like older, maybe. I'm excited to become older because I think I'll be so hot as like a 30 year old. That's something I've been struggling a lot with recently is my age. Really? You're sexy. I've been looking at everyone in the group. I was like, everyone in the group is aging really well. We're literally becoming like younger hot people. Like it's awesome. Yeah, I know. We're like...

all we're definitely all in our 20s yeah like we're all in our almost mid 20s Josiah like has it's actually crazy like how like older Josiah has gotten I know every time I look at videos I'm like oh my god he was a child he was a child but even like for myself I look back at like when we first all started hanging out and I was like dude what the fuck I still had like baby face yes and then then I was like oh my god like I look so old in the face but like

Like me now, I'm like, I'm an old fucking hag. Like I haven't been getting ID'd as much and that's how I'm like, oh yeah, people don't, people see me and think I'm a woman. I'm like, oh yeah, I am, I am looking like a woman, womanly, womanliness. But yeah, I want to be a sexy 30 year old. I think I'll be hot. Well, this conversation makes me uncomfortable because I don't want to age and I'm scared of it getting older. I'm so excited to get older because

I don't know. I think it's very graceful. I've realized everyone I've ever looked up to, or everyone who I look at, I'm like, damn, your shit is all put together. You like, everything you do is so awesome. They're either very late 20s or early 30s. And I'm like, oh, that makes actually a lot of sense. Because I used to be like, dude, I don't have my shit together. Like, I'm about to be fucking 23. I don't have any of my shit together. And then I look at...

Like a 30-year-old. And I'm like, oh. Yeah. Okay, yeah. That makes sense. I... Like hanging out with all of those people, I was just like, oh, shit. Like I still have so much time. Like... Like... Like I think like when...

I don't know how to explain this, but basically I'm like, holy shit, like, I'm 23, like, I'm getting older, like, I'm, like, hitting that point where, like, I'm about to start leaning towards 30, and I'm like, oh my god, that's, like, the most terrifying thing in the world. But then I also have this, like, combating thought where I'm like, dude, seven years is so much time. Like, I feel like I've been in LA forever, like, for the longest time.

But I've only been out here for like three years. And like that's double the amount of time until I'm 30. And like even then, like you're still so young when you're 30. Yeah, I know. That's still like...

In the eyes of, like, a 50-year-old, it's like, girl, you don't know shit. Like, it's really funny to think about. It's also just easy, especially in entertainment, because entertainment... There is an expiration date. Especially influencing, like... Yeah, there's not only an expiration date, but, like, within social media, the groups have only gotten younger and younger and younger. So it's easy to look at the fucking 18-year-olds who are like, okay, yeah, I just bought, like, a $5 million home. And then to look at myself and be like, I am nowhere near that. Like, I can't even...

that. Like, what the fuck? And then be like, Jesus fuck, I'm almost 23. Like, why can't I fathom that? That person did that like at fucking 17. Yeah. And then you look at like 30 year olds who are like, I don't know, maybe I might buy a house. And you're like, okay, nevermind.

That is the normal. That is because capitalism. Yeah, and that's not my fault. And the boomers, our parents, stole all the money from us. And all the houses, all the billionaires buying up the real estate. We're about to live in a renter's economy. We'll never own a house again. But the thing is, everybody is so mean to the billionaires, but they work hard. Actually, T, they work for their money. And that's why y'all are mad. I work hard for my money. Yeah.

- I was just riffing, I was just coming up with my own thing. - Oh, but speaking of old age, our other topic. - No billionaire, we should keep elaborating on like why billionaires deserve their billions. - Oh, okay. They're cool, they're kind of lit. - They could buy me things. - If I knew them personally. So I don't wanna talk bad on the billionaires because what if one day maybe I knew one of them? - Yeah. - And are the chances of that so extremely low?

Yeah, maybe. Not really. I know a few. I'm going to punch you in the fucking mouth. But yeah, no. That's our take on billionaires. We don't fuck with them. Also, sometimes I'd be like,

Oh, I wish I had a billion dollars. No, the fuck I don't. I was talking about that in the car. I was like, bitch, if I won a billion dollars, do you see the way I handle my money now? It would be bad. I'd be like, I just give everyone I know like a million dollars. I'd be like, I don't know what this means. I don't need a lot of money. Like I used to think that is also something I want to touch on briefly. Your change of heart.

Yeah, like I used to be like, I need all the money in the world. Like I need all of it. And now that like, this is going to sound so fucking stupid and I hate saying this, but now that I have a little bit of money, I'm like, I'm perfectly fine with where I'm at. And I don't care if I don't have millions later in my life. But a billion dollars, that's ridiculous. No, that is so unnecessary. Like, yeah, because... Even like anything over like...

Fucking 20 million. I'm like, what do you do? What do you do? Like you're bitch. You're still waking up every day and eating eggs. Like, yeah. What? Okay. We put, we hate billionaires so much, but we still put our pants on the same way every single day. We put our socks on and our shoes on one leg at a time, unless you don't have one. One of them. Hopefully my wiener hasn't been showing this entire time.

But speaking of old age, this is kind of a morbid conversation. No, but there's some funniness in it. I remember this time last year, I was talking to a friend about this a lot. And it was like one of our first conversations. It was like really funny. And it was the fact that I do not believe that anyone will kill me or that I will die by accident. We've talked about it before on the podcast. Yeah, but like we have to go in detail because again, I don't want it to be like,

a scary thing it's more so like i have like pride too much pride i'm like bitch if i if a murderer was coming into this house and i knew i was not going to make it in their face i would kill myself and i'd be like boom now you look fucking stupid and you're going to jail you're stupid and going to jail yeah um for me like i guess the the question at hand is like how would if you had to choose a way to die how would you want to die i want to be like

ew i don't know i don't know i'm like so scared of death i'm scared of the process of dying i don't care about what happens next like literally we either like are a simulation and you wake up and you take off the vr goggles and you're like that shit was so real and you freak the fuck out and they're like you made it to level 27 good job like age 27 yeah and then you freak the fuck out or we experience real reality

So many times I've wanted to slap you today. No. So I'm just like, whatever happens after death, I don't give a shit. But the process of dying scares the shit out of me. Yeah, same. I don't like the idea of it happening.

But I don't like the idea of anybody else or the universe getting to have a hand. You either kill yourself or get killed. That was like the most. That was the most prolific thing ever. Like it's like the like actually resonates resonated with me very deeply. Yeah. It's so real. Like it's really real. No, for me, I think like I know we said like fuck all the space shit or whatever. But like being launched in the outer space, like with no helmet on would be kind of sick to die. Like it'd be like iconic.

Like he was like launched into space. Bitch, that is so whack. Or like your little limb body like floating around. It would be fire. It would be like really pretty and like, but oh my God, it would be so scary. Oh my God. Imagine, sorry. Like imagine like having the helmet on and you have like two days of oxygen and food in your whatever. Oh, I don't want that. And you're just floating off into space. I don't, well,

Would you want that? No, that's what I'm saying. I don't want that. I'm just saying, like, imagine that. That's the scariest shit ever. I used to, as a kid, because I was just, like, grew up at the beach all the time and was, like, little Miami mermaid vibes, I used to want to die by drowning. And that was, like...

So fucking wrong. That was a full belief of mine. That is so wrong. I was like, I want to die by drowning. I love being in the water. Like, I love this so much. And then as I got older and I like started to learn really what that meant, I was like, that sounds stupid.

So painful. You were like, I'm going to become a mermaid. Yeah, I was like, I'm going to drift off into the sea. Like... Nori. Bitch, you know, my remains would be tore up after I like had the worst, most excruciating death ever. Oh, hell. Fucking awful. Fucking no. Oh, also when I was a kid, this is like the craziest thing ever, but it really shows that my brain has been fucked up since the moment I was born. I remember with my like birth mom, she was like taking me to school and I, from a very young age, this is so fucked up and like...

I don't know if it's okay for me to say, but this was like my childhood thought. I literally was like, because I've always wanted to be a radio host. That was one of like the main things I wanted to... We're here. We're like there. Your childhood dream is coming true. Don't touch me, except I'm literally in my fucking kitchen. And it's really hot. It's 91 degrees in here. Ha ha ha!

the fuck was I saying oh I and this actually kind of makes no sense because I was like I really want to be a radio host but I also had the thought that I was like if I had to work a desk job I would kill myself and that was a genuine thought I had as like a seven-year-old and I believed in that which doesn't really make sense because being a radio host like you kind of live at a desk or whatever I meant like typing in my head like I

Was to give those big monitors and like looking like Coraline's dad at a fucking computer all day. Literally everyone listening to our podcast at their desk job right now. Working from home though. Slaying on the Zoom call. But yeah, that's why I was like, I don't want to...

it to sound rude but this was my child brain and i remember i said that out loud to my mom and she just turns to me and she's like killing yourself is illegal and i remember it scared the fuck out of me i was like oh my oh my god what are they gonna do bury you under the jail no i'm not kidding this is so fucked up in my head my brain literally imagined like my dead body handcuffed in like a jail cell like and i was like oh my god i don't want that like

I used to think that like 1000 with my whole heart 1000% the way I was gonna die was in a car crash. You remember that? Yes, and I fucking hate it. I fully believe that. And then also like at the same time I'm like going 130 down the freeway. Like I don't do that. That was a lie. I don't do that. Are Uber going 130 with us in the fucking car the other night? Okay.

As wrong as it is, I instigated it. But I didn't tell him to go 130 miles per hour. Also, you're a fucking Uber. You shouldn't do it. We're all drunk in the car. I was in the front seat singing Claro, Amoeba, chopping it up with him, trying to get him to say something. And he completely fucking ignored me the whole time. And then I was just like, go 100. And his face lit up and he went 100 miles.

And then he didn't fucking stop. Yeah, he went to 130. He kept going until he hit 130. And we stayed going 130. We didn't slow down. Yeah, I know. We were zooming for like probably three miles going 130 miles per hour. And like in my drunk brain, I was having like the most fun in my entire life. I know, it was so fun in the moment. And then we woke up and we were like, um. We should have died last night. And Kai was with us and he was like, I was genuinely terrified. I was scared for my life. I literally was just like.

I was just like, huh, this is happening. I was too busy listening to Claire. That new album, like, come on, Miss Claire. I love it. Her new album. That's my media. This Apple fucking album. Come on, Miss Claire. But, yeah, going 130, I'm like, bitch, you're an Uber. Like, I, what, if I told you to fucking shoot someone, you would have also done it? If I told you to jump off a bridge, you would have done it? You probably would have crashed on purpose if we asked him. Yeah. He was bored. But I get it. It's a boring job, baby. Yeah.

I'm like, I can understand everyone's side. Like, I'm just like an empath. Like, I get his side. That night was fucking insane. Literally the most chaotic. I was on full-blown demon mode. Like, I was evil that night. Yeah, we talked about this before about how we...

It was a purge. Like, the reason why I was, like, in purgatory mentally for the past three, four days was because I've been, like, hungover. And this is why I don't drink often and I can't drink often is because, like, my hangovers last forever. Like, they actually fuck with my brain chemistry and, like, make me, like, a zombie of a person. I guess that's literally fucking everybody. Like, I'm not special. But it lasts for days and days and days. Um...

But, oh my God, I was on one. I literally didn't have a hangover because I'm a slay of vacation alone. You are a slay-holic. I literally...

After drinking, I will come home, shower, wash my face, go to bed, wake up, eat, slay. When I come home after a night of drinking, I find rotten watermelons. I break them on the floor of the kitchen and put my feet in them and play in it. And that's not a joke. We'll add a picture and some video. And then I go to the most expensive house in LA and...

and try to sneak in and almost get my ass beat by the security guards and then I tell everybody pulling up to the party like, "Don't go up there. They're having demon blood orgies. Like it's really evil sinister shit. Like don't do it." And yeah, it's just like really really dark shit. Like I don't know what goes on in my brain when I'm drunk, but I'm like, I'm a different person. I think I just didn't get that drunk. Like

We had free bottles of Azul. Like, I was, like, literally chugging that shit. I know. Dude, ew. I, like, I don't... I get, like, the idea of, like, people, like, pouring shots in someone's mouth and it being, like, a sexy thing. But literally, I am not sexy in that way. I'm like, don't fucking do that. I'm gonna get acid reflux. And I did. Yeah. I literally got acid reflux. I was like...

Like about to throw up and I'm like, thank you. Oh my God. Like literally like no offense, but I was a super spreader that night. Like I like was pouring that bottle into everyone. Luckily you were first and like Denzel was second, but like I was pouring it into like everyone's mouth. Like anybody who like, oh my God, I need to talk about this. But if you have like a bottle in the club, like you actually get like harassed. Like I was touched in ways I can't describe and,

And it was wrong. It was wrong in every sense of the word. I don't blame them. They also tried to kick Drew out because he was wearing shorts. I was wearing these fucking shorts. It was a fucking bar, a walk away from the beach. And literally everyone around me had shorts on. And they targeted me in the photo booth and was like, hey, you have shorts on. Like, get the fuck out of here. And I was like, but I look sexy. Like, what do you mean? I look good. And like, he walked past like three people with fucking shorts on. Yeah, and then he was like,

he was like how'd you get in here and I just went I was like we were standing in front for fucking 20 minutes like what do you mean they let us in yeah um and then I was being a cunt to him because he was pissing me off and I started recording him with my um handy cam and it has the brightest flash ever it was awesome he was like stop recording me and then he just walked away he was like you know what like you can stay but I will say he came up to me after I closed out the dj set with all the scary music I dj'd for like

15 seconds is... We just go to parties and we harass people. So I guess it's only fair that Drew got harassed back. Yeah. My new thing is taking- I want to take flash photos with everyone. He came up to me after and apologized and he was like, he was like, "I'm sorry, like I- I- You're a cool guy, like I didn't mean that." Anyone who like I see on the internet a lot and I like kind of find funny, like in my head they're a 3D renderer and they're not like really a real person,

I want to take flash photos with them. Yeah. So far, I've gotten LeBron James and Lele Pons. But Lele Pons was actually so fucking nice to me that I couldn't even post a photo because she was so nice to me. She's just a kind person. And then I was like, wow, you know what? Being a bitter fucking cunty hating ass bitch is kind of mean.

But I'm going to keep doing it. You know what? Because people think that shit about us. They're like, those people are fucking whack and corny. And if I saw them in person, I would take a photo of their face without them knowing.

And like, could you imagine what that would feel like? I don't care. I get made fun of all the time. Yeah, it's true. And that's maybe that's why I'm so... Literally, we got called squid billies. Like, that was the funniest shit ever. Yeah, no, that shit was so awesome. That was literally the funniest like diss ever. And it was like so lighthearted. But then people like started taking it and being... I know. Like, please know that when people make fun of me and Drew, we don't fucking care actually. Like, it's funny to us. We're literal cunts. We are...

specifically me I'm a hating ass bitch when people like make fun of like maybe like something I wear or my appearance or something like I don't take it to heart yeah it's one bitch's question my morals that's why I'm gonna fucking fight you and show you I'm crazy but that's different she's crazy but she's free I'm fucking crazy but I'm free

But yeah, just like balls in my mouth and like wiener and like butt stuff. What is wrong with you, bitch? What do you mean? All right. And with all that being said, that was this episode. It was squirt-tastic.

All right, let's get into media. Yeah. I took my media down. Did you take notes of it? No. I have to start doing that. I decided. I was like, I'm going to start taking notes so I don't have to look it up right at the end. So do you want me to go first? Yeah, you go first. Okay, so my media of the week. So I have like the most...

like actually chaotic like dangerous playlist to like anybody's psyche made of all time currently like both of y'all know like it's it's dangerous like it's really evil drew came back from texas with some shit that i literally want to fucking slap him yeah but i actually like thoroughly enjoy it and it like it's like the it's like a pipeline like this is where you end up like when after you start listening to like the

Boards of Canada, Aphex Twin, like this is where you end up, this genre of music. All the fucking annoying like Aphex Twin motherfuckers can be like, not true, not true. Yeah, because you're not there yet, bitch. Just wait. But it's called Breakcore. And the song that has really just been really great for me is Spiral 2005 by Team Meccano.

just give it a listen give it a chance it will be the worst thing you've ever listened to um it's kind of like the first time you listen to like blady or it's just like you're like what the fuck what i will say is like some breakcore i really do like like some of the shit dante has shown me i like but like some of it i just can't get down with because it literally like hurts my brain but that's also because like

Who knows what's happening up here? Give it a chance. You might surprise yourself. You might enjoy it. It's like, I know it's bad to use this word, but like, I like controversy. It's literally schizophrenic music. Like it's actually so naughty. And then my movie media of the week is mind games. Oh, mind games. That shit hits. And I just rewatched it. Yeah.

one of the best animated movies of all time. It's such a sleeper. It's such a sleeper. Like, people talk about, like, Perfect Blue or Paprika or just, like, any... If I had to pick between Paprika, because Paprika is pretty good, like...

comparison i would 100 pick mind game yeah it's just so weird it's so weird i can't believe like it's just like all the music in it too is just so fucking good it's like a feat of animation like i cannot believe they were able to do it and it sounded sounded good also just like when i think of like animation sequences in my brain it's always like shit that i'm like dude how would you even draw that out that sounds crazy but that movie is like the closest thing that was just like

like taking a character running and then making it into like a million things, if that makes sense. It's just, it's so mind boggling. Yeah, it's literally a mind game. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. My media of the week is Claro's whole fucking album. It is so fucking good. I literally love her. I'm in love with her. It's all I've been listening to. Amiibo. I'd sell them cats.

If you get it, you get it. If you know, you know. If you don't know, you don't know. And then just like individual songs that have really been touching my little heart is The Letter by Doofields. I don't know if I'm saying that right. Touch by Omarion.

Superstars by Yves Tumor. That one's back in rotation. If you know me, you know that song. It's so fucking good to me. Knocks Me Off My Feet by Stevie Wonder. That's all I'll give you. Don't get fucking greedy. I'll slap you in the face. Also, Un Beso by Aventura. Like that song.

I'm gonna give a couple more songs because you give good songs. I'm just gonna give some. You give good songs too, girl. In Ending Ascent by Brian Enew. Just like an emotional anthem, like it'll make you feel something you haven't felt before in your life. Papua New Guinea by the Future Sounds of London. So good. Um,

And then I'm gonna give one more because I love the playlist that they made someone made a playlist Well, you have to but you the thing that makes the media so good is you give like kind of a tease so they got a little tease I'm okay. I'm gonna give one more. No, I'm not fuck you. Yeah, I'm back for more That's why I haven't done a playlist cuz I'm like do you want to hear you have to come here also my media of the week like visually is

uh better call Saul because I will have sex with Saul and Mike I will have sex with both of them what's his fucking name Saul do you know his name what's his like the actor's name oh wait we have to figure this out because I saw Goodman I would literally have sex with him like a hundred times in one night James Morgan McGill also known bitch that's his name in the fucking movie like yeah I was about to say or not the movie in the shows like he was he just did that movie with nobody and he was like literally sexy hot in it

what the fuck is his real name like bob odin bob odin kirk we will have sex with bob odin kirk if you are listening to this podcast um please have sex with us i will suck you suck your balls that's my media of the week i'm pretty sure this man has a wife we're about to shoot a movie with uh bob odin kirk and that's the media of next week um that's gonna go on the patreon yes

- All right, thank you for listening. Thank you for all the feedback. This is actually the first episode we're recording since the podcast has been out. So now we know that we are not the most hated people in the world and that is relieving. - We love all of your comments. Every time you like comment something like-- - We read them. - Give us topics, something you wanna hear us talk about if you think about it.

What's the discourse you want us to bring to the forefront? Yeah, because now we're going weekly, basically. Yeah. So if you have anything you want us to touch on, let us know. We read every fucking comment and we love it. I said I'll touch on you. You said it like it's a bad thing, like I'm going to react poorly, but like I want it. Okay. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.