Outing Drew
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Episode 2 of Emergency Intercom. Yes, sir. Please. Yes, sir. The set looks nice. It's 80 degrees inside. We're really sweaty today. Yeah, we've realized...

The hell we trapped ourselves in by starting this in the summer in our fucking dungeon. In our kitchen dungeon. The hottest room in the house. Absolute hell. Actually, literally the hottest rooms in the house in the summer are you and Josh's room. Yeah, it's terrible because I have all those windows. It's so bad. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. And I actually like living in heat. I'm like a warm body person by nature. I would rather be hot than cold. I agree with that because when I was at the beach yesterday...

I went to the beach alone for the first time yesterday because I decided I would like to start doing things alone because I'm very dependent in being around others because I get a lot, like, really scared of being alone. Anyways, um, when I was at the beach, I was cold and I was like, dude,

Miami, I like cannot wait to be back in Miami heat on the beach because like the point of being at the beach is to be literally drowning in heat. Yeah, you want to be hot. And just like sweating. You want to be sweating so you can get in the water and cool down. Of course. And then do that a million times. Does anybody else think that just like Miami heat hits different?

Oh, I hate you so much. I think it just hits different. The basketball team. Literally me in middle school acting like I give a fuck about basketball because the boy I liked was really into basketball and the Miami Heat was in the finals. And I was like, oh my God. Yes. Name five players on Miami Heat, the starting five. I can name five players that used to be on there. I can name the three. LeBron, Chris Bosh, and Dwayne Wade. That was like the...

They were like the superpower. Yeah. Yeah. They were like. Literally, NBA has superpower teams. The holy dream. We don't have to talk about it because I will go in. It's a special interest of mine. No sports. No sports. But what we should talk about is my fucked up sleeping schedule. Yes. And we kind of lightly touched on this in the last episode about how like me and Drew switch off with our mental health. So this past week, I've been spiraling. Literally spiraling. It's like...

It's traumatizing to 2018 almost where I'm like, this bitch is teetering on like a full blown depressive episode and we need to save her. We need to save Summer. It's the scariest. Oh my God. We need to save Summer. We need to get you help. So for context to that, in 2018, I was in one of the worst depressive episode of my life. It dragged on until 2019. It was terrifying to be around. It was terrifying to witness it.

hurt all of my friendships and relationships um it literally was destroying me and everything around me but um one of the like key signs of it starting was like my sleeping schedule just got obliterated because i had no motivation to like get up and get out of bed or do anything and then like i was too sad to like eat so then like basically what happens to me is i'll

stay up till like the fucking ass crack of dawn literally 7am yeah like no you were going to sleep at like 3am but sleeping until 6pm you were just sleeping I know but in 2018 it got to the point that I would stay up till like 6 7 and then I would sleep all day but it's slowly been getting there because like

I slept at 3 a.m. and then woke up at 3 p.m. That's 12 hours of sleep. And I'm like in the background doing my little task, like just trying to wake up in the end of the morning. And she like, she just doesn't. And I tried to like give her my advice. What I did to get my sleeping schedule back on check was putting my phone on the other side of the room with the alarm set. Um,

and it just forces you out of bed like it did do that today it just forces you to get up 20 extra minutes but it did help me get up yeah but yeah my sleeping schedule just goes to shit and then like because i wake up so late i'm like i don't know what to have for breakfast i don't even want a coffee it's so late in the day i don't want a coffee and then like i even lose my appetite for coffee and that is a key sign that something is fucking wrong with me if i don't want a coffee that's scary like

Inya's literally the girl like don't talk to me before my coffee. Literally. If she doesn't have her coffee like. Don't talk to me at all all day. So yeah so we've just been like talking about that recently and literally how your sleep schedule fully does coincide with your mental health. As well as like I hate to say it but like fitness. Yeah.

And gut health. Like that shit. It sounds so annoying, but I genuinely, this is like the propaganda of fitness and gut health. Yeah. The propaganda is kind of true. I don't know if it's propaganda. It's real. Because like I was saying, like,

I keep thinking about last year and like, dude, I was in such a good spot mentally, but like my sleeping schedule was awesome. I was sleeping at latest like 2 a.m., but then waking up at like 9.30, 10 a.m. every day, which I know some people are like, that's late. But 9.30, 10.30 a.m. is my favorite waking up time because if I have too much time in the day, it will treat me the opposite and I will also smile. Yeah, like us waking up at like...

10 is like the 6 a.m., 7 a.m. for the regular girlies. Because like when you have nothing to do all day, especially in a pandemic, like filling the time, it's impossible. Literally, you just go insane. And that's why screen time, back to that, is so high because there's just nothing to do. But yeah, and like I want to like...

start riding my bike again because it felt so free. I just felt like a free girl listening to Caught by Florence and the Machine, riding my bike, just like living my life. Yeah, I want to start working out. I want to get active again. I want to do hot Pilates again because that shit was legitimately life-changing. Like, I know it sounds crazy, but like,

That is the hardest I've ever worked out in my entire life. Like, that is the hardest workout. Dude, that does not sound crazy. It literally is insane. People, like... Even me, when I used to think of Pilates and yoga, I was like, dude, that shit's such, like... That shit is so whack. Like, you're not doing anything. It's wackadoo shit, yeah. But then, when you're in that class, especially in a hot class, it is insane how...

those workouts get. Pilates is like a very intense form of workout. Yeah, and then also on top of that, the humidity in those rooms is like fucking 70%. And then you're also breathing in everybody else's sweat humidity, which is disgusting. Like, it's absolutely disgusting. I love it. That's the

to go for COVID. They were like, fuck that hot Pilates shit. Yeah, literally. But I was just thinking we should just do hot Pilates in our kitchen in the daytime because it's literally fucking 83 degrees in here. Dude, that was one of the best parts about working out last year is like the house would be so fucking hot and I would literally just come in and like from the adrenaline of riding my bike, I would come inside and like work out and then I would feel fucking awesome and take like a cool shower and it was like, wow. Which also like,

This is probably a hot take, but it's just my personal experience with my, like, body dysmorphia. It doesn't... Like, I do not work out with the intent of looking good or, like, anything like that. Because, yeah, I don't ever have that intent for me. Like, working out is literally... As someone who also struggles with, like...

No, I don't have aggression issues. I don't want to put that out there. - You are aggressive. - But yeah, I can get very like heated up and upset and like that physical like release is very good for my brain chemistry. - I was about to say for me, it's like, it's not about looking a certain way 'cause I like the way I look. It's purely about like releasing those feel good chemicals in my brain and making me feel good. And also like the neurotic part of me is like, if I miss a day,

it'll fuck me up and then it just keeps me on schedule and then I'm just like slowly getting healthier and healthier that's why it's so hard to get back into it because like you know once you do it's like a commitment you have to like stay there our addictive personalities I know fully dive in oh but what I was saying is it helps my body dysmorphia like when you did

those hot Pilates classes, I was like in a very bad state with my like body image in like late 2019. And we just did one class and I felt so good about myself because it just felt good to like use my body for like kind of what it's made for, to like move. And just that alone, I felt like very secure because I was like, dude, I could go and like work out if I wanted. And like that alone made me feel like hot as fuck. I was like, here I go, I'm strong as shit. I'm working out. I could carry a five pound

She can lift up a one gallon jug of milk on her own like with one arm That is one of the most embarrassing things to me is like actually like if you set a milk jug in front of me And was like take your left arm and lift it up. It's actually a struggle for me. That's how we can It's literally like I can't do it But also that just

Collines like I need I also do partly like want to get like super fucking ripped because like how funny would that be is if one day I just like take off my shirt on Instagram and I am literally like built like a car getting that's gross I have like the perfect genetics for it. Like I have I have the broad shoulders because I also like I will say again I just want to like clarify me and you're not like workout junkies because we're like we want to be sexy. I don't give a fuck about

I feel sexy in the most odd moments. Like, I don't give a fuck. Like, working out will make me feel good. I don't think anyone needs to work out to be sexy. But...

I will say when I was working out, I am one of those dumb bitches that if I worked out for two weeks, I would like, you saw it when I was working out last summer and I randomly like started to get abs. And I was like, you would like kind of show them off a little bit sometimes, but like, cause I was, cause I was so, cause you were in Texas and Josh was an OC. So I was just so alone. And I was like, literally no one's seeing me get ripped this shit for no reason. Like, which again, I don't care, but it was just such a funny point in my life. Cause I've never worked out before then. Yeah. Um,

but also what you eat does affect you and I fully believe that literally I like people told me that my entire life they were always like what you put in your body really does matter like it matters and I was like I don't fucking care like I'm gonna eat this chicken nugget like I don't give a shit but now that I'm like older I'm like and I've given it a second thought I'm like wait like

- That's what our body runs on. Like what we put into it is what our body runs on. I mean, it hasn't changed shit. I still eat a bag of fucking Takis a day and drink three flat sodas, but like it doesn't-- - Dude, the room eating is so gross. I called them a garbage disposal the other day. - It's the realest shit. - And it has stuck. It is so true. - It's the realest shit. Like if people leave their leftovers around me or like whatever it is, I'll just pick it up and eat it. I don't give a shit.

But it is kind of good for me because if I didn't do that, I would literally only eat once a day. Like, I don't know what it is about me. No, it's literally me and Drew have the worst habit where like we rarely have something we want to eat. Like I'm not somebody who like, yeah, dude, I get such decision anxiety about food. If I'm like ordering off an app or something that I will literally stare at my options like,

for an hour and then the hour goes by and then it's too late yeah and now it's nine o'clock and all like the better options for food are closed and then I'm like fuck do I have to eat Taco Bell at like 10pm right now and we do and we time lapse and then I fucking feel like shit um sometimes Taco Bell is good as fuck but

Thrive off of having groceries. Yeah, I was about to say like you're you've been really good this past like year two years of just like cooking like you cook all the time and Don't make it I don't be on my like Bon Appetit shit when I'm cooking a bunch of different shit like I could say soup and eggs I eat bean soup or like vegan tortilla soup without the tortilla. It's good as fuck. Don't get me wrong or I eat salmon and a stir-fry and

Or eggs and granola. Like those are like the things... Or a tuna sandwich. Those are like the six things I put in rotation and like...

are super easy to make for me and i know how to make them down to the t and it's like clockwork and i can eat the same thing every single day but i do have to be careful because i am this close to mercury i was about to say i was literally that's why i was laughing because i was like this literally only eats fish and it's like actually concerning because who is that actor i don't remember who it was but literally like died of mercury poisoning from eating too much fish

- Me next. - Yes, Enya's the next. - That would be literally so fucking embarrassing if I got a smirky. - And it wouldn't even be funny. It would just be like, it'd just be like, damn. - It'd be like, damn. - Like for real. - Is that easy? - That's how you're gonna die? - If I am not eating in, I will eat sushi.

And if I'm eating in, I will have fish. And that is, like, really bad, and I know I shouldn't do it. I did get stuff to make other things. Like, again, last summer, I was making these really weird, like, tofu tacos. And, like, don't get it twisted. They were not fucking juicy and delicious. They are delicious to me, but it's, like, pico de gallo, like, roasted or, like, grilled corn, like...

Beans and tofu like that's what I was eating and like it doesn't sound that good But like you know and your yeast style in anything. It's good. So like it's good And you would also add your yeast seasoning. I literally nutritional yeast to everything. I hate that Like it just looks and sounds disgusting. I know it's really good for you and it actually tastes really fucking good but like

Don't call it that. Like, call it literally anything else. Like, I don't want to eat yeast infection. It's not yeast infection. I mean, sometimes you have to eat yeast infection. Jill! Oh, I can't even say the name, but I know someone who said that one time they ingested... No, that literally actually made me nauseous, and I'm like... No one talks about vaginal health enough publicly. Like, no one talks about... We did have that conversation recently. Yeah, where there was a TikTok where someone...

like, was showing the difference between normal discharge and then, like, a yeast infection. But I also do think, like... Where did she get the yeast from? That's what I want to know. Where did she get that infection from? It looked too real. No, the discharge looked really real. Yeah, the yeast infection discharge, same thing. To me, to me. Dude, the thing is, like, no one talks about it. But also, I do think, like, vaginal health is so intuitive because, like, you see them underwear every single day. So you know damn well if, like...

What's that skin mark? I'm sorry, I'm sorry. If that tubby custard is looking a little different. Not call it that ever, ever, ever again. That's what they taught us on Teletubbies. Oh, that's what tubby custard is. It's discharge. So yeah, if that tubby custard comes out looking a little more opaque than usual...

- Ooh, it's stinky like money. Even though yeast infections have no smell and that's what makes them like kind of scary is like the tubby custard looks a little different but it's not smelling quite like anything. - I'm literally like, I mean, men don't talk about penis health enough.

of fun y'all are so gross there's no going back literally like there's no recovery just wash it just just clean it with yourself take a shower i saw a tiktok that it was like um it was like you know the audio that it's like um fuck it was like oh what song is it it's like i remember when i lost my mind i remember when or no it's not that song there's a song that it's like

There is a song that's going viral on TikTok that I was like, I've become a fool or something. But it was like when I caught myself for like the seventh time arguing with him to take a shower. That's when I knew it was time to go. Yeah, that's when I knew it was time to go. The first time was a red flag. Dude, men's health is awesome.

Lack thereof. Lack thereof, yeah. I mean, there was this, there's this course online recently. I mean, it's always been online about like washing your legs, like in the shower. Do you like, like go down and wash your legs? Not every single time I shower, but like three times a week, I'll give like my legs a really good scrub and my toes a little. Yeah. Ever since like literally ever since like Twitter, like made fun of men for not washing their ass and just washing their body in general, like it's,

Every time I shower, it's like trauma for me. Every time I shower, I get every inch of my body like really, really gnarly because I'm like, I don't want to stink. Like I don't want to be one of those dudes that just like have a smell. In my head, like, okay, and this is going to be a hot take because the internet cannot understand anyone's hygiene preferences or it's not even hygiene preferences. Like there are studies about like

yeah, you shouldn't wash your body every single day and also over exfoliating is bad for you and washing your body is a form of exfoliating especially if your ass is using a loofah because sometimes, especially if I'm like home all day, I'll be like, "Bitch, I'm not showering." Like, it feels-- the oils my body is making feels good. Remember when like you used to be really crazy about showering and you would literally shower like three times a day and when I told you that I was like,

cool down maybe like maybe that's what's like causing you to break out like just like relax a little like maybe go a day or two without showering dude but like that's also that stems from my my minor like germophobia of like

Okay, after I use the bathroom, I have to wash my hand like three times because I wash it and then I want to go touch the door handle, but the door handle is probably dirty because someone just touched that. So then I have to go wash my hands again. I do wipe my ass on the toilet. I mean, on the door handle. I do. I do. Like, I'm not joking. But I used to also not let anyone sit on my sheets. Like, I used to not let

anyone sit on my bed not even myself especially in high school it was such a big issue in high school i would like shower in the morning shower at night i wouldn't let anyone sit on my bed because i didn't want the outside stinky world to touch my sheets i would come home from school exhausted as fuck and every single teenager gets home from school and like lounges in their bed and i would sit on the floor next to my i was about to say i sleep i sit on my floor but not because i'm scared of getting outside clothes on my

No, I did it because I was so terrified of my bed getting dirty. Literally like coming home after a long day out or at school or whatever and just laying down on your floor like on the carpet just sprawled out is like one of the most magical moments you can have in your life.

Point blank. Period. I did like laying on the floor. Like we were talking about the other day. I liked laying under my bed. Yeah. Literally. I liked getting under it and being like compressed and just like literally. I told you yesterday. I was like, I need someone like like tonically non sexually just to lay on top of me. I want to feel that. As a kid, were you that kind of kid who like would have your siblings like sit on

your legs. Yes, I was always being walked on or I would literally like put my legs under my sister like on purpose or like under my pants just so I could feel that like compression. It's like it sounds like we need a fucking anxiety weighted blanket. I have my weighted blanket. I'd be like someone sit on me. Literally I had the craziest like

week of my life because I literally I haven't told anyone this because it's kind of embarrassing but like I strictly sleep with my weighted blanket on top of my comforter I don't get under my comforter I have my weighted blanket on top of me and legitimately I like had to withdraw from my weighted blanket like it was crazy like I wasn't able to sleep without it because I know that's what I'm doing like that's what I'm trying to get rid of it because like

hot as fuck under there but also I like being hot and sweating ew dude that's that's the good thing about summer is like I can't stay in my bed all day like it like hurts my brain to be in my bed cause I get so hot because the sun beaming in my windows so I'm just like ew I am the kind of person I can't lounge in bed like all day like I've tried it but it feels too gross to me yeah you're just like sitting there and like and like getting clammy and like sweating and like ew I don't wanna fucking do that um

But that's our take on health. We're not doctors, though. So don't listen to absolutely anything. This is all from personal experience of two idiots. But we can say, get the vaccine. Go ahead and get the vaccine. Hopefully, by the time this episode comes out, we'll have our vaccine. I know every influencer in the world is like, yes, I got my vaccine. Again, not that me and Drew are anti-vaxxers. We're just lazy. We don't go anywhere. Wait, the amount of times we've said that on the internet, people are probably like,

Wait, are they anti-vaxxers? I am an anti-vaxxer. No, I'm not an anti-vaxxer. I just think everyone who needs the vaccine should get it before me. And that's it. Like, I don't want to take up vaccine space. I know that's like a stupid take and I'll probably get in trouble for saying that. But like, literally just go and get it. I'll get mine. We stay inside all day anyways. But when I do have the chance to get the Johnson & Johnson blood clot around. That's what we fucking want. I want that shit. I want the Johnson & Johnson. Oh, yeah, we did talk about that.

about this in the last episode because we were talking about how someone we knew and we gave them a really good reaction and I was like oh see I knew it I knew we talked about it because I was like I had it in my notes but I'm getting the Johnson & Johnson vaccine so now it's been two episodes that we still don't have the vaccine I'm giving them a story giving them a story and I still I still do want to get it but I don't know I'm just like again not that I'm like

I'm sure a lot of y'all have noticed we don't have many ads anymore. And you're probably thinking, wow, oh my God, I feel so bad for them. They deserve ads. But we're doing our job. You're not doing your job. You need to fucking subscribe and engage with me or I will never do my job again. I like, I can't believe I miss reading ads. I like, I miss the taste.

Not that you're what? Not that I'm anti-vaxxer. I'm just scared. Scared of what? Can't a girl be scared? Why? Not a single influence. You know how they're like, we need...

a pothead princess we need an anti-vaxxer influencer there's so many anti-vaxxer we need a paranoid about dying from the vaccination influencer an influencer who's gonna get the vaccine like i'm gonna get it by the time this episode comes out i will have it but can't we all just admit we're a little scared no like why can no one

I think you're scared because you literally, like, are actually terrified of getting sick. I think it stems from, like, being afraid of throwing up at the end of the day. No, yeah. I don't want to get sick. I also, like, if anybody...

is with me on this. I don't have health insurance. I've never had health insurance. I didn't come from a family who had the financial stability to be going to the doctor. Like even when we were sick, it was like, bitch, we're going to Walgreens. We're not going to the doctor. Like we're going to eat dirt. Yeah. We're going to go eat dirt and build your immune system like that. Like we're not doing all that. So like I, and I am not someone who like

I got the vaccines I needed because, like, obviously to be in school you needed to get, like, certain vaccines. But, like, I can't remember the last time I got, like, a shot of any kind. And I do... In general, I just have, like, a weird fear of doctors and stuff. Like, I talked about this in a video recently and, like, on live where I just have a fear of...

I think I just have bad luck and I'm like prone to getting like infections, sickness and everything. Like I swear in my mind, like I want so many piercings and stuff. No, we are fully, we are fully, what's the word I'm looking for? Hypochondriacs. Hypochondriacs. Hello. What's up y'all? It is Anya and Drew from the future and we're just here to say we're vaccinated.

Please do not take what we said as anti-vaccine propaganda. We were just scared. We were scared little girls. Yeah, but we're vaccinated now. Go get your vaccines. This is vaccine propaganda. This is pro-vaccine propaganda. Exactly. Go get them. Go get that needle, girl. I did get Johnson & Johnson. I know. We'll talk about that in the next episode. Or in the episode after the next episode. But yeah. Bye.

Enjoy. We are fully hypochondriacs. I think I am literally always dying of something. Like, I just, like, I wish we were 20 years into the future where you could just lay under a machine once a year and it will just scan your body and tell you if you have cancer or not. And that's all I want. I like there is... Literally, you just get your blood drawn and see if your fucking white cell count is high. But I don't want to get my blood drawn. Yeah, also, the last time I went to a hospital and got a needle put in me, it was...

I hate it. Costal contralitis.

When I went to the hospital, they put, the lady went to go put in an IV. She was being a fucking cunt to me for no reason, but she went to go put in my IV and she accidentally just stabbed me and the IV didn't go in. And I just watched my vein squirt blood all over the table in the floor. And I was like, I was like crying. Cause I was like,

Like I'm going to die. You deserved it, Loki. And that would happen to me when I go get the vaccine. That literally won't happen. It'll be like two seconds. No, Zamar was saying it was literally the least painful shot he ever had. Zamar is like such a man man though. Like, does that make sense? Zamar is like, he probably has a very high pain tolerance. Zamar and Christian are the same kind of like boy man. Does that make sense? Like they're not super masculine or anything, but there's like, just like,

I'm just a man. I'm just a dude. I'm just a guy. Do you need help with that? That's what they are. I can pick that up. Dude, I can climb that wall and unlock that door. Do you need me to pick that up or carry that? Are you all sure you don't need help and then they make everyone leave and they do it themselves and they're like, it's okay. That was easy. That's not me. I am like, figure it out. Like,

I mean, I'm pretty good about taking groceries up the stairs though. Like I go hard on groceries. It's like a little game. Everyone and their mother goes hard. You do not go hard like me. Oh, bitch. Do you know how many times I brought up my groceries alone? Like three bags each hand. But I'm saying, I'm saying when we go grocery shopping together. Oh yeah. Cause if I have someone else who's going to pick up labor, I'm like, I'm not stressing. But I go hard as fuck on taking the groceries upstairs. Um,

Literally the once a year you have to do that. I was about to say once every three months. Once every four months. And it's not your groceries. It's because we were out and I was like, I'm stopping at the grocery store. And you were like, momma. Enya's literally that girl to me. Enya's literally your mom when she's like, do you want to come? Do you want to go to the store with me? And then you're like, yeah, sure, I'll go. But like, please don't stop anywhere. And Enya's like, do you care if I stop at like Starbucks? And I'm like, no. And then she's like, wait, but I need to go get hair extensions. Like, can I go get hair extensions? And she's like, I'm like,

I'm a hustle and bustle kind of bitch. I'm like, I'm out of the house. I can't go back home because if I go back home, that's the end of my day. Like, you don't start your car twice at your house. You start it once at your house a day. Interesting. And that's my motto. I'm like, mama, please take me home. Please. You sit in the car like a little dog. I know. I'm like on my fucking phone pouting. And I'm vibing inside. I want hair extensions again so bad.

I should do that actually. I'm gonna do that today before we go. I'm gonna break this on your fucking head. Why? Oh my god, people- it's so funny that people with audio can't see us for things like that so they- Dude, people with only audio are like at- hit the lottery. Like people having to watch this is crazy. The thing is I don't think people actually watch like visual. Like it's not like we're putting things on screen and doing little fun things. It's literally us sitting in a fucking dingy corner. Like why are you watching this? I just did coke.

On camera. Dude. For the audio listeners. People are like, I knew it. I knew it. These fucking druggies. We're not like substance abusers though. We've said this so many times, but people literally have to clarify. Yeah, I know. Because people think because of the way we act like, no bitch, I don't act like this for any other reason other than the fact that I have a lot of internalized trauma and I need attention.

Like, that is why I act the way I act. Yep. Like, that is why we act this way. It's because we are the kids who were like, we had to be funny for attention. For survival. Our parents thought it was rude, so they weren't giving us the attention. And also, I was the last baby. I was the boy. Madeline was the pampered little girl. I was twin. I had to raise myself. And...

that was my form of communication with my parents was being a fucking clown literally same except my dad was just always working so i was like cool what fucking adult do i get attention from now bitch who the fuck is gonna pay attention to me and then me and my siblings would literally just fight each other to death we were insane kids are

Dude, I don't know how we survive. Nobody talks about when you grow up with a bunch of siblings with no parent supervision. Bitch, fist fight on fist fight on fist fight. Yeah, you beat the shit out of each other. Like, I feel like kids growing up now, they have TikTok and they like understand that like violence is not the key and that they're like unlocking the third eye. No, violence is the key. And I think we need to bring back violence and...

We need to bring back, I am tired of people calling me annoying and talking shit about me on the internet. Hit them.

I am going to hit you. Like, I am done. The way I was raised is if you would like to talk shit, you do not talk shit unless you are going to back it up with getting fucking hit in the face. Yeah, getting popped in the mouth. And I want so badly. Like, this has been my worst. Although the past year I've had so much growth and clarity in myself. The weirdest, like, backfire...

All of it is like, I've also contained this extreme rage where I can't stand people my age talking shit about me online. 'Cause I'm like, listen, we're two adults.

We're gonna fight. Like, which is the opposite. That's not right. We're two adults, we can talk about this. I'm like, no, bitch, we're two adults and I can hit you in the fucking face. You can go post about it and be like, and you just hit me and I'm gonna post it on my story and be like, yup, I fucking did, bitch. And if anybody else wants to get hit, let me know. Yeah, and I think what we could do to get that rage out, because I feel like you just need one physical alteration with someone. I think you need to get hit, you need to hit someone physically

We should box. I would beat the fuck out of you. You would beat the shit out of me. Like, period. But I think, like, I could get a couple swings in. I have, like, long arms. Like, I could get you. Dude, you said you were... I could get a couple swings in. Like, that's the way you delivered it. No, we should box. If y'all want to see us box, like, let us know. We'll do some pay-per-view. John Paul or whatever. Jake Paul. John Paul!

Jake Paul. Bryce Hall. A little action. A little action. Bryce Hall, this is a call-out post. I'm going to beat your ass. I'm going to beat your ass. I want to get in the ring with Bryce Hall. That would be fucking fun. All the Bryce Hall stories, we should tell one day. I know. We'll give them. Dude, we just have such an insane amount of stories and like...

I would love... I want to get into all of them at some point. We just have to remember them. Yeah, and we can also just start off a little soft. And then we could get into, like, the... The juicy... The drama of it all. Like... Also, the stories we have are just fucking funny. Because, like, we're just trolls by nature. And... We just...

We go to these parties where everyone's like networking and trying to be cool and just look cool and we make fun of everybody for doing that. Like why are you at a party and not being fucking fun? People are so fucking funny in that way. It literally, it actually drives me fucking insane. I'm like,

Why are you here? Why don't you stay home? Like if you're going to stand around, it is so bewildering to me. And then I think the other thing though, that we have to take into account is like, again, we are not people who drink a lot or like, yeah,

Yeah, we're not people who like are drinking casually like the average 22, 23 year old. So all these people drink all the time. So they're standing and they're just like lightly buzzed and they're being normal. But me and Drew, when we go to a party, we do not go to a party because we're like, that'll be fun to go talk to people. No, we get drunk as shit because we're purging our system. It's the purge. It's the purge. It's like the four month, five month purge. We just every four months, we like...

blackout like that's it yeah you just get as drunk as you can and then you go to parties and you take flash pictures of people you don't know who you make fun of behind doors and then the next morning you wake up and you find a two minute long video of y'all walking up to that person and flashing them yeah we're the flashers we be flash banging people wait let's get it straight we're not showing our tits and ass we're i'm showing my tits and ass when also at the when i'm

At a party we had gone to, I wore a button-up shirt that, like, notoriously unbuttons, but I didn't think about that before going to a party in that shirt one time. And I was, like, looking through my camera roll, and my tits were just out. But that's okay, because I... She's a girl. Reclaim them. As of this summer, I've decided that it's tits-out summer. I'm tired of girls with D-cups not being able to be sexy with their boobs out, but then, like...

smaller cups getting to show their fucking nipples and it being chic i'm like no big tits are chic take your fucking nipples out girl yeah let me see your nipples come on i would like to see the shade of them so i know your origin let me see your no one talks about that the shade of your nipples says a lot you do not need an ancestry.com let me see the nipples right quick

But yeah. Also, not anything against like smaller boobs. God, I want nothing more than to have small boobs. And yet for like the past like

Five years all in you has talked about it's like a three month obsession once a year and just like I want a breast reduction so bad so bad all the clothes I like everything I love like I just was not meant to have boobs like it just makes absolutely no sense with who I am for me to just like under all this silliness have fucking huge tits like that makes no sense. I think it does make a lot of sense.

things I was like why the weird girls in school always had big ass tits I saw a post and it was like we need to stop telling the sexy people they're sexy start telling the ugly people they're ugly sorry that was random but

- It was that old potty. - Yeah, I think so. - Dude, so funny. But you know what really fucked my brain up is like growing up in Miami, all I wanted was to be thick and have huge tits and a huge ass. Like that's all I fucking wanted growing up. And then as I got older, I was like introduced to like different body types and I was like, oh my God, actually I enjoy my body type. But then my boobs grew way later in my life. Like when I was like a senior in high school, I was like a B, like almost C cup.

- I don't know what that means. - And it wasn't that big of a deal. - I know what it means. - I was like, damn girl, I was like, virgin alert. - No, I have a lot of sex. I need to make that clear. - I don't think you do. - I bone. - Shut the fuck up. - I literally do. - I didn't start growing boobs until late junior year and then I graduated and I could freely wear shirts with no bra, except if you grew up in a Hispanic household, I'm sure you've met this or just any,

Cultured household. Not white house. Yeah, not white house. Girls, just say what it is. Actually, I think even in white households, like, parents telling, like, girls to wear bras is such a thing. But, like... Yeah, no, that is. Because dads are fucking creepy and sexualize their children. Yeah, literally. Because, like, parents are like, I know what it's like to be sexualized. Or it's like, I sexualize. And I don't like... I don't like this. Yeah. So... I don't like what I'm feeling right now.

So you get told to put a bra on. And then also, like I was just telling Drew this, like one time when I was walking down Melrose, a homeless man looked straight at my boobs and I was wearing a white t-shirt with no bra on. And he just says, nice nipples. And then from that moment on, I swear on my life, I wore bras because I was like, that was the final straw.

But anyways, once I turned like 20, all of a sudden my boobs started like inflating to C. And then recently I found out I was a D. But I do think part of my body dysmorphia was convincing me I was a C for the past year. I knew you. I've been a D. I always knew you were a D just like the way like they felt and stuff. You have not felt my boobs in your life. Let me touch your boobs. I've like played with Orion's boobs before, but you haven't let me play with yours. You don't get to touch because I have these like huge fucking mommy milkers.

You just broke that fucking bracelet. That's what you get, bitch. I love this bracelet. I have mine still. I didn't break mine. Oh, is that the bracelet a follower gave us and you just literally broke it while we were filming that? I love it. I've worn it every day since. It's so fucking cute. I know. But that's the reason I don't wear like handmade stuff like that and I just keep it in my jewelry boxes because it will fucking break. Especially your ass. You'd be touching it. I know. I'm like fiddling constantly.

Get a fidget. Hey, don't do that to the fucking mic, bitch. Mic check, mic check. But yeah, what was I saying? Basically, I don't want fucking tits. I'm over it. But I will say, here is my resolution is this summer, I will have my tits out and see how I feel about them. And if I love them,

And then if I don't, I'm going to start heavily considering a breast reduction. But again, like the vaccine, I'm just too lazy. Like imagine actually having to do that. Yeah, that's how. With my luck, they would like puncture my fucking heart and I'd die. With your luck, they'd like make them different sizes. They'd make them bigger. Oh, we thought you wanted like to make them giant. Wait, we thought you wanted an F cup. We thought you wanted basketballs there. Volleyballs. Volleyballs.

Girl, imagine you woke up from a breast reduction with volleyball tits on your chest. That would be the last of me. And then y'all would have to publicly be like, she did it. She ended it all because she woke up with huge tits. Again, also, like, when I talk about this stuff publicly, I feel bad because, like, for instance, my sister is in a situation where, like, she needs a breast reduction and wants one for, like, health reasons because literally her back is about to break. Her boobs are way, way bigger than mine. And when I complain to her, she's always like...

Shut up. Like yeah, can you fuck off? So I always feel bad complaining about it, but this is just my life. This is my life. Let me live. Listen to me complain.

That's why we have this. That's what this is. This is the complaining podcast. This is just the hour of us complaining and y'all having to listen. Literally y'all listening to our untreated ADHD for an hour every day. You are really going in on touching, huh? Yeah. You can't stop moving. I know I can't. I don't know what it is. I think it's because I didn't have a Red Bull. I did order fidgets. I need a fidget really bad. Dude, that fidget was the best thing I've ever gotten. And it kind of makes me insecure because then I see how much I actually move around. I'm like... Dude, that's what I've been... When I've been publicer,

public around other people like the 30 year olds they're like what is that i'm like it's my child toy my attention toy no literally this entire podcast i've just been sitting here like

In my head like I'm moving so much and I don't know why it's not I'm not even uncomfortable or like anxious I literally am just moving and touching I've been scratching my nose a lot this episode like I keep reaching to touch my nose and like my face Yeah, but it's also because with my nails I can like get scratch sensations that I usually can't so I'm just enjoying them Mm-hmm Maybe it's because you need to hit your fucking puff bar you freak. You're itching for your puff bar. That's what's happening

Drew has an addiction to pub bar. That's the name of this episode, outing Drew Phillips. Drew Phillips vapes. The thing is, like, what's so fucked up is, like, other influencers get to be like, so-and-so drinks, but no, we already do everything. We don't get the fun attention of being like, so-and-so does this. Like, when we smoked those cigarettes in that video, what should have happened...

was news outlets reporting that Enya and Drew Phillips are smoking cigarettes and that they're nicotine addicts. But no, not a single, no one even gave a shit. No one cared. No one cared. No one cares about us. No one cares about us the way they should. And it hurts a lot. No, I literally, my lungs are like filled with like just... Jizz. Yes. Yes.

No, my lungs are just filled with like popcorn. I'm at this point. I'm pretty sure like from the vape, like literally this is like, like since I was 17, 18. The way like not, this is not something to brag about, but the way we were on jewels when you had to order them online. Yeah. We had to order jewel pods. They did not sell them in stores. The feeling a mango jewel pod. Like when I hit,

Wes's Juul for the first time and it was like that mango Juul pod, it legitimately changed. No, we were smoking mint before mango. Yeah, it was mint. Mango was dropped and then that changed my life. Like, because I was like dabbling. I was like, whatever. No, actually, I was in full bloom. Whatever. I was going to say, you were like, you were the reason I got a Juul. I was like, these things look fun except nicotine.

Doesn't work on you. Doesn't do it for me. It doesn't work on you. And I've tried. Yeah, literally, you have literally tried to actually, like, become a jewel fiend. But let me go back to the, like, the first time I hit a mango jewel pod, like, it was like a sexual awakening almost. It was like a coming to God moment. It was...

Like the way that shit made me feel like is not normal. Like what are they fucking putting in those? Like that's not fair. I never got that. Literally. I just like got flavor. Oh, so fucking good.

Remember when we all used to be so onto jewels in high school? Going on eBay and looking up rare jewel pods. Dude, even before that, even before things were rare, when it was literally like we just had to get someone who was 21 to order them offline for us, and we would just order them online and just have jewel pods. This is like 10th, 11th grade. You know the displays that you see in the cabinet shelves?

at like smoke shops of the Juul pods like you would we would order like a box of those at a time yeah you could order a box of them and they were like relatively cheap and like you could get an insane amount dude actually no Juul in the beginning was expensive as fuck like a Juul like starter kit or the cartridge was like $40

Yeah, they were like $40 and then they went down to $20 and then they went back up to $30 and then now they're literally like $2 a cartridge. Like, bitch, I was buying mango jewel pods for like $65. But we were also getting them in fucking bulk like we were going to Costco. Yeah. Like, you know how families go to Costco and get things in bulk? We were getting jewel pods in bulk. Wait, something that like is not spoken about enough is how like in California you don't need...

a subscription to go to costco like you we need to look that up because i saw a tick tock about it but i think it might just be the um the liquor store of costco because they want everybody to be an alcoholic um so they'll let you go do that and buy bulk alcohol but i don't know if it's for the store itself but yeah i've i've tried to dabble me being like i've tried my best like but i really did because i feel left out of the culture even though like thank god i'm not

Drew just dropped a fucking bead. Loud as shit. I doubt he even picked up. But even though like I know that's not something I want like necessarily because I was actually addicted to smoking puff bars and shit. I would fucking hate my life as I've seen with everybody who's addicted to them. But I just want the public to know that I have tried. I've even tried cigarettes. But nicotine just doesn't hit the part of my brain that like

I don't know. It just doesn't, I don't have that like feeling of like, I need to do it. I like, I have like full addict brain. Like I literally am like, I can quit anytime I want, but like I do like when I go back to Texas, I like quit for like two or three months. Like it's just like every once in a while I just need an escape. I need advice. So I like just like, because I, other than this puff bar, I have zero vices, which like, I think vices are sometimes healthy. Like they're little outlets. Um,

And this is my vice. And I just need to... Because if I wasn't smoking a puff bar, God knows what I'd be doing. Yeah. Sometimes you pick and choose your battles. Especially if you have addictive genes. That's why part of me is like...

I know like there's a lot of discourse again, not to like condone smoking, but like there's so much discourse about like puff bars and shit. I'm like, bro, do you know how like it was so common for people to be cigarette smokers? Puff bar is just like the new cigarette. And it's just the history is repeating itself. 15 years from now, we'll find out everyone has cancer from them. Like I am so interested to see what happens from like puff bars and stuff. I like the flavors. Big tobacco 2.0.

The flavors is what's so funny. Like, they straight up were like, fuck it, Jolly Rancher. Something sweet for the kids. I don't know. It's just not fucking sweet for the kids. Literally. Literally. Maybe like banana lappy taffy. Ew. Dude, creme brulee. Do you remember that? That shit was rancid. Creme brulee jewel pods were fucking rancid. Y'all literally get the nastiest flavors, like, for fun.

with like Coca-Cola, Cremoulet, banana. I remember when I was like 14 years old, like vape, vapes were like just invented. Like the, the not, the box mod, the modular synth vape. Yeah, the literal box mod synth vaporizers with like cloud atlas in them, whatever. But,

I remember when those first dropped, I wanted one so bad because I found out you could get juice without nicotine in it and I was like, I don't want nicotine. You were just one of those freaks who was like, I want to make clouds. I was like, I want to make big clouds and I want to learn tricks. And to this day, it's like riding a bike. Once you learn how to blow smoke tricks and do smoke tricks, you never forget. It's something with your tongue. Chill, girl. Yeah.

Learning how to do vape tricks was really good for me when I was younger. Learning how to make figures. What the fuck? Conalingus. I remember on TikTok where there were some people who didn't know that word, so they were bleeping it out. Did you ever see that? TikTok. There was that one, like, what's her name? Ash Nico or Ashley Nico. Is that her name? Me and your girlfriend playing house. I don't know this. I just know this one. And it's like, I can't.

Like, it's some shit like that. She says cunnilingus and people didn't know what that word was, so they were bleeping it. It was just straight girls, like, bleeping it because they didn't... They've never felt love. Intimate love. Dude, okay, okay, again, not... Why are we talking about vaginas so much? I know you're about to go off on some vaginas. I am about to go off on some vagina shit. Because, again, I don't want this to be a place where we're, like, fucking having horny talk, but this isn't even horny talk. It's about...

about female rights, woman's rights. I am, this is about woman's rights and the fact that getting head is still, for as a woman, is still such a thing that men don't do. They're like, oh. Come on, let me, come on. Like,

- Yo girl. - Yo what? I was joking. - Because okay, TMI, but like I remember my first like intimate partner, like I just never even expected that and I was doing the damn deed and doing my business. I was doing my part of the deal and getting absolutely nothing in return. And I did not second guess it for anything. And then as I got older, I was like, - Wait a damn minute. - Wait a second. That was an improper trade. That was an improper trade of labor. - I do my thing, you give me nothing.

That's the trade. And that's like the common thing. But yeah, that's my only take. I'm not going deep on that. Also, some motherfuckers just can't do it. So I guess if you can't do it, just don't even fucking try. Don't embarrass yourself and waste my time. Literally. Don't waste your time on my vagina. Shut up. That was a bar. I'm gonna hit you in the fucking face. Well, um...

Is that about it? Is that it? I mean, we could talk about how I know for 1000% fact that I can cross the big red balls in Wipeout without a doubt. If they put them in front of me right now, I would literally go so beast mode. You just say you couldn't carry a gallon of milk and you think you're crossing those balls? I'm crossing those balls with zero effort.

Like I'm just running like a robot across like like literally that's all you have to do is just run across like these bitches have the wrong strategy when they dive onto it like yeah, of course you're gonna fucking fly off like It's simple physics. It's literally like I have it all worked out in my brain like this Well then apply to be on fucking wipeout. I don't think it's the hardest thing in the world No, I'm literally gonna rent them for myself just to prove it to myself I would love that because I would love to try

That's my next video. Literally, where are you going to rent that? You're acting like it's at fucking that sky zone. You have to like... I'll figure it out. I'll figure it out. I figured everything out. You don't.

I had nothing figured out. Literally yesterday, Drew was like, I want to see a building get demolished. I'm going to go do that. And I was like, what? Sometimes when Drew's in my passenger seat talking in the car, I genuinely feel like there's an automated AI machine trying to make something to relate to me. And then it's just missing because I'm like, what are you talking about? No, okay. I just want to see...

a building fall it's poetic almost it's like the destruction of humanity post capitalism like buildings falling it's beautiful and i have literally every tick tock the post capitalist ramifications of the deep popification yeah literally but i just think seeing a building fall would

hit a spot in me that needs to be hit yeah i i get that because i was it would be beautiful like literally that was like when we lived in 1304 and we like all had all had like a weird unhealthy so basically no don't even talk about it don't it's bad it's bad like that's something that we wanted to see buildings get like basically blown up but like again no one inside we just like

It's just like wanting to see that kind of thing. It's just like I want to see that. Just destruction and chaos. Like literally for the longest time, I just wanted chaos and then I got chaos and I was like, take it back. Please. I can't do this. I don't want it anymore. You didn't know my chaos and you were like, wait, why does that sound fun? Why does that sound lit?

That sounds lit. Fucking stupid. Yeah. All right. Well. Should we just dive into media? What we love for the week? Oh my God. Yeah. I'm so down. I have to grab my phone. That's my biggest habit or my worst habit. I don't know names and stuff off the top of my head. Yeah. Like people will mention something to me and I'm like, I don't know what that is. And then they'll show the visual and I'm like, oh no, I love that. And then I sound like a liar. Yeah. Well, I'll go first. Last night.

I watched Frank and that is such a good movie. It's about this dude who is a musical genius. Their band is locked in a cabin for a while and they make music together and it's really fucking good. And all the while someone's documenting it.

And it's just their journey making music. And the climax of the movie is so cringy and hard to watch. And it fucking sucks, but like in a good way. I didn't need to watch that. I was jealous of y'all. Yeah, and then by the end, it's a feel-good movie again. You're like, oh, like all they needed was themselves. So watch Frank. It's really, really, really good. It's just buttercup semen up. Oh, buttercup semen. Oh.

Buttercup Cinema. Damn. Buttercup Cinema. That's what it is. Buttercup Cinebra. And then I've been going really hard on like existentialism and optimistic nihilism. I think...

You should read a couple books about that. I think you should grow up. I've been reading a lot about that. I've been struggling, struggling with my identity. So go into that if you want to feel really bad about yourself and literally never recover. Don't do it if you, yeah, don't do that. And a song that I liked is from the movie Frank and it's I Love You All.

by the band in the movie and it's really really good the all the like all the the best part about it is all the music is actually played in the movie by the people playing the music and sang by the people in the movie and the songs are just so weird and genre-less and it's just like

Why isn't this a real fucking thing? Like, it's just so pretty. Is it on streaming services? Yeah, it's on Amazon for free. Damn, that's awesome. Yeah, so check it out. Oh, like the movie? Yeah. Oh, it's not free. It's free if you have Prime. Yeah, free if you have Prime. Yikes. But the songs are, like, five of the songs that they made are on Spotify. That's awesome. Yeah. And that's my media for the week. Drew's media of the week. Now on to mine. I don't know that... I don't have any, like, visual, like...

Actually, you know what? Dirty Girls. That was awesome. I was going to say Dirty Girls and Batmobile were really good. I was thinking about that earlier. So for visual media, a little documentary, it's super short. Anyone can take it in. It's Dirty Girls. It's really interesting. It's just about...

young feminist like feminism in like the 90s and it's like these girls who are really inspired by like Riot Grrrls And it's just awesome. Like it's it's super interesting. Yeah, and it's just kind of it's a really good lens into like like like 90s grunge almost and it's just like and it's also like crazy to see like how polar opposites like the culture was like Riot Grrrl

and then there are bullies. Like, the craziest part was the bullying for me. I was going to say, yeah, but what's even crazier is, like, I feel like that's super prevalent in, like, middle of America still. And even in, like, popular places, like, I bet in those private schools in California, that's still a thing. For, like, all the, like, now, like, alt girls. I don't like that.

Yeah, whatever. Whatever, that's a different conversation. They get what you mean. But all like the alternative like girls and just like people in general, like I'm sure they still get bullied like that, but it's a really good lens of like just human nature. Yeah. Like rejecting what feels foreign and like against what you were taught on. And all the while, the girls that were being bullied the whole fucking time were right. Yeah. Also, it's on YouTube. It's like 17 minutes long. And it's free. Yeah, so literally go watch it, Dirty Girls. It's really fucking good. And then for...

I have a book recommendation. Elisa let me borrow this book. It's called Kitchen and it's by Banana Yoshimoto and it is so fucking good. I haven't finished it yet. I'm like...

halfway in and it's just really good. It's like a heartwarming story about somebody who's struggling with the passing of their grandmother. And it's super sweet. Yeah, it's just fucking awesome. And it feels really good to read. And then for music, anything by the Dirty Column. Like that is probably one of my favorite artists ever.

Ever and everything he I don't know if it's actually just him. I'm assuming it's just him But sometimes there's like a female's voice and I know on one of the albums it's like him and another woman but anything by him but especially the album the return of the dirty column like So fucking good. One of my favorite songs in the world is sketch for summer by him and requiem again is also so good for summer and yeah

Such a good song. Like, I remember listening to that in 2019 and, like... It's, like, traumatizing almost, like, how good it is. Dude, yeah, it feels so good. It's just such a good-feeling song. But, yeah, that is my...

my media recommendations of the week. Also still Ariana Grande. I'm still on my Ariana Grande shit. - Ari shit. - Nasty, listening to nasty super loud on repeat has been my trauma response of almost diving back into depression for the past week. - Yes. - And that's the second episode. So, fuck off. - I hope you enjoyed "Fuck You, Leave." Bye. - All right, man. - Smell.