Orion's episode
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The moment everyone has been begging for. Merch is being released next week for our second year anniversary. Time flies when you are sexy, young, and free. Take a look. Let me know if you like anything. Actually, don't let me know. I don't want to know.

- I probably gave it to you. - No, I have a swig of it too. - Oh, really, from what? - Giving it to your head last night. - Right. - Oh, to yourself, 'cause you went to your room alone and you fell asleep after giving yourself head. - Yeah, you know you guys, a couple ribs removed. - Yeah, I-- - Oh wow, you have been looking really skinny. - Yeah, I have a snatched waist. I got my ribs removed like Marilyn Manson. - Yeah.

And it's actually really, really special. - Is that real? Did he actually do that? No, I didn't. - Yeah, that's why he's wearing that hoodie. It's like covering up. - Oh, he has all his bandages and stuff. - Damn, so you stick to really sensitive subjects. - I'm covering it up with this hoodie that is emergency intercom merch that is out July 7th.

Probably. We have no idea what this is. I'm wearing it too as well. Yeah. We handmade this for Orion for today's. It's like the coquette version. Yeah. Exactly. My girls know me. Yeah. So we had to get her right. Also, we did an intro, but welcome back to Emergency Intercom. Long awaited guest. Very long awaited guest. We have the most asked for person by a fucking landslide by Fleetwood Mac. Um.

on the episode today, which is really crazy. Orion. - They had to fight tooth and nail for this. - I know, literally. - I know, we really did. And you know what it is too, is even I, like, this is just annoying, but I'm like, I don't want them to see how well we get along. - I know. - Like, does that make sense? - I know, exactly. Like, you're getting too much of me right now, and it's terrifying to be perceived in such a way. - So like, keep that in mind.

no actually don't don't no once i need a reality check yeah exactly you need to be humble at this point in my life i need a major one don't ask for that because to be funny people will be like okay fine and they'll be like i actually don't mean that i don't mean that i actually don't mean that um once you finish watching this act like you've never seen orion and like you you've never heard her voice ever again yeah thank you have you done a podcast before yeah you yeah i have but like a

With a normal person. A serious one. With normal people where they're asking me very, like, serious questions. So when, even, like, thinking about this, I'm like, fuck, like, here I go. Okay, well, I have a serious question for you. Okay. Was that your first love? Actually. Why does it always have to go here? Like, okay, no, go. I want to know.

Well, if I'm being honest, and it might hurt your feelings. No. Okay, wow. It's... Oh, my God. It's her. Wow. You don't understand. Actually, no, no, no. If we're being realistic here, Drew low-key was. I was going to bring that story up. I was going to bring that story up. Okay, okay. Oh, wait. Oh, y'all talking about Playlist?

Or VidCon or something. It was a VidCon or something, yeah. I'll let you start. I go? From your point of view, yeah. Okay, from my point of view, I only knew Drew from the online sphere, and I never had met him in person. And he had walked in the room. We were all in, like, a hotel, like, party. And it was...

There weren't that many people. There were enough people to be embarrassed by the situation, but it wasn't filled to the brim. Also, it was the first time I have ever seen other people on the internet that I kind of look up to. I walked into this room and I was like, holy shit, like,

There's like Ricky and Denzel in here and like blah blah blah blah blah like these are people that I like love on the internet and it was so fucking jarring but keep going. Anyway, Drew walked in and he's a new face. I hadn't seen him before and you just looked so shy and so dumb like and it was a precious moment to witness and I turned to a friend and I said, oh Drew's here. He's so cute. And like...

The friend in question wasn't a real friend for screaming at the top of her lungs. Drew passed by and she screams, hey, Drew, Orion thinks you're really cute. It was so awful. And Drew darted away. I was so embarrassed. It was so humiliating because it felt like... Drew ran.

No, I literally did. She ran. And I'm, like, stuck in this position where I'm like, no, I did not say that. You're not cute. You're not hot. I don't think you're cute. You're ugly. You're fucking ugly, actually. That's what I would say that. No, and then Drew left. Yeah. It scared him enough. She was like, y'all should make out. Y'all should kiss right now in front of everybody. Like, kiss, kiss, kiss. This friend notoriously was...

obsessed with watching people kiss. Yeah. And I was like in my head because I was like, oh, I've never been in this space before. Like I'm like petrified and then I walk in and I'm immediately like in my head being made fun of. And you chickened out a hot girl

Well, then I invited her to my room later. But we won't talk about that. Oh, y'all. Okay, well. The less I know, the better. It was sweet. It was sentimental. It was a big moment. It was like something that's kept between us for a reason. Yeah, I mean, now it's not between y'all. I mean, it's still. It's probably just like, like out of necessity, like human nature. It's not even like emotional. When was the first time y'all met? I don't remember the first time we hung out.

- I don't either. - Well, in LA, like y'all, I remember there was like a moment. - Oh, I remember our first time hanging out in LA. - That I remember, but like the very first time we met, I could not even tell you. - Yeah, I couldn't tell you either. - I think we were just in such different worlds. And even, it was probably at a similar situation where like we were in a group of a bunch of people passing like hi, hello.

the reason why I don't remember is probably because it's not as traumatizing as my brain at this point only like remembers the horrible or the really good things. Yeah. So bad. I remember the first time we like had a moment where we were like, oh my God, we're like going to be friends. It was so good. It's because I think it was especially good because we didn't like really know each other. Yeah. Cause we were being put in,

we were all on a social media tour when we were younger and me and Orion started being put in rooms together. But even then we would not interact. I don't even remember like, and it's not even like I was like, I don't want to fucking be friends with this girl. It was literally just. You just had your group of friends. I had my group of friends and it was just the convenience of us staying the same. It was just the two girls. It was just the two girls. Yeah, it was the two girls on tour. It's like they're getting the room. Yeah. Like, oh, you're a girl. You're a girl. Like y'all will get along. And we did.

accidentally, by kismet, Drew left tour. - Yeah, like when you quit. - And so it was, Enya and I were there left, and I remember we were, it was like three in the morning, we were both in our separate beds,

And we had like our backs turned from each other. Like keep in mind, like we didn't really know each other. We like literally, I, we hadn't, I don't think we had ever spoken other than. It was like college roommate. The one time we had spoken before that was when we took that god awful fucking picture because we found out we were both Honduran. And we were like, oh my god.

Like, I don't have any Honduran homegirls. That is so disgusting. And it's literally, like... We have to show the picture. What have people been saying on TikTok? Like, canon event? That was our canon event. No, fully. It was, like, we just met at the stairwell, took a photo, and then it was, like, okay, bye, see you later. But... I was going to say, do you remember the fucking picture of you and I? Like, the first picture we took together, and it's my giant fucking nasty hair. Your hair. Like, gross fucking vibe. That was in Atlanta. I remember...

I remember that, actually. I mean, just like that trip. Yeah. What city were we in? I don't even know. I literally don't know. Like, do you remember your last one? Like what city you were in? No, not at all. Okay. Well, so we all have brain damage. It might have been like Orlando or some shit like that. Maybe. I don't know.

i mean maybe it was atlanta no we literally all have brain fog because we were being like drugged and like like baby fed alcohol exactly that was like our college experience yeah no literally but and yet and i um we i was like crying because i was like in a relationship and the person i was dating was being really mean to me scary scary terrifying

It was actually purgatory for me. So I was silently crying because throughout that entire relationship, let's actually just start, I was silently crying. And I hear Enya also silently crying. And I turn around and she's crying into her pillow. And I'm also crying into my pillow. And I just like, I think I said something first. I turned to you and I was like, are you crying right now? Then she's like...

Yeah. And then I just like got up and went to her bed and like held her. Yeah. And we literally didn't know each other. We didn't know each other. And we just sat there and cried together. And it was like, I'm literally about to tear up at it. I was like, why is that so sweet? That is literally so fucking cute. Also because what's crazy about it is at the time I was like not an emotionally open person. Like I didn't even cry to you about it. When you left, like I acted all chill. I was like, bye. Like whatever. Dude, I wasn't emotionally available and I fucking sobbed.

on the way to the airport. I think it was like New Jersey or something because like it was because I was with Jake and Dana and I was

sobbing in the backseat of the car and they were in the front seat like giving like side eyes to me because like a grown man is crying in the backseat of this car right now it's like hella awkward and I was like a grown man at 17 like well he's still 16 well you just turned 17 yeah exactly exactly but no it was like that was like the first time I was emotionally available too but I think it was like

New Jersey yeah that makes sense because also you know what's funny is I just remembered thinking about this I remember the next morning we did start talking because we started telling each other why we were crying yeah and you were explaining your whole situation I mean you were talking about moving to LA because that was before you had moved to LA and you were like yeah I don't know like I don't know if I like want to do that move yeah and I was just like I'm gonna do that move like sooner than later and we were just like yeah and we were really talking about it because I

had just started seeing someone at the time so I was like telling you about that but I just remember that conversation we were like getting oh because since I I was crying over you because since I wasn't going to see you I wouldn't get to see your mom's stinky pussy her begenie yeah I wouldn't get to have sex with her stinky begenie and you cried over me like yeah it's funny because you just said you were a grown man sobbing in the back of a

car with like two other people I got bitches see I cried and I got yeah I she got physical touch and it could have escalated and I got self control see this is why right right see this is why men don't cry and shouldn't cry because I cried and it was embarrassing yeah yeah it's funny you consider yourself a man oh wow I was I was a man last night I was a man last night

It's funny because I thought you were a man, but you're just a little boy.

Girl, what? And hunger hurts. Oh, hunger really does fucking hurt. Should we talk about those little escapades a little bit? Not into detail, but the PCH moments. Oh, our PCH vibes? Yeah, but I'm like, what is there to discuss other than pure despair? Just crying despair, driving up PCH, listening to... COVID literally made all three of us so much closer. And also, me and Orion, I feel like without COVID would not be this close.

- Y'all are the scissor sisters. - Yeah, we were hanging out consistently, but I think there was like this emotional level that we couldn't break past. 'Cause there was just honestly just so much things surrounding it. There was like shame and fear and it was just like awkward. And we also, I mean, I've had really close female friendships before. - But I hadn't. - You hadn't. So it was like, trying to navigate that with you was,

Honestly, it was hard. But then, like, you came around. The girl came around. You know what it was, too? I think...

yeah it's just I didn't have a lot of I still don't have a lot of close like female relationships you're definitely the most intimate female relationship I have in my life yeah neither do I and um yeah cause you get no bitches but that's like separate besides the boy but yeah I think because of that it's just I didn't know how to do it also I don't think I was like super emotionally open with the whole friend group

Just anyone, period. Until, like, late 2019, early 2020, because I just had reached a point where, like, I was going to therapy so much I could talk. Also, I was, like, a fucking annoying bitch. Like, you literally couldn't talk to me about anything without me being like, actually. Yeah, you literally... You had it right. Yeah, I was literally, like... I was just kind of an annoying brat. And then...

Life happened and that's what happened. I will say though, I do feel like I am probably the only person in your life that can like argue against you. Oh my god, I literally can't. I know what you're talking about. No, no, no. I'm not gonna bring that up. No, we have to bring it up. We have to bring it up. But that will argue against you but you'll like actually listen to me. Yeah, 100%. Like more so but so sorry. Oh my god, no. Literally. So like we went to Texas like for Easter to like see my family and like

We got a hotel room and we were just like, there's nothing to do in Granbury. So we were just like mobbing around, hanging out with my family and then like going to fucking Walmart and shit. And one of the times we went to- Literally, I don't even know why we went there. Just literally to Key because that's what you do in Granbury. Like literally. And like we are like, I don't know what y'all are butting heads about, but Inya and Aram- Dude, we were arguing over the dumbest shit ever. The dumbest shit. Yeah, and it's not even worth- I'm not going to mention it. It's literally like- It was literally just semantics. Like it was like, it like-

It was solved with a Google search, but even the Google search proved that Enya had to be right. It was crazy. I still am like, I'm right, but that's okay. We like just... We moved on. We moved on. But they were...

fighting like i've never seen anybody in their group you know what it was we were like literally debating we like it was more of a debate like fighting it was genuinely like you would have swore one of us was gonna walk away with a fucking nobel something about me like i literally like debates like walking with his head down behind us like really like so small he was you felt so fucking small it was insane crazy and i was trying not to laugh throughout the whole thing because like i'm like it

You were. I'm like looking at you. Oh, I was laughing. Yeah, you were like, Drew is so uncomfortable right now. And I was like, I'm so scared. My girls are fighting. You know what's awesome is

- That's also why we were like, wait, okay, we gotta cut this 'cause this motherfucker is literally freaking out. - We're making our son uncomfortable. - Yeah, literally. - Making our child in the car uncomfortable so we need to chill. - Have to choose between which divorce parent he'll go with. No, but genuinely it was for me so comical that I kept laughing 'cause Drew's in the corner of my left eye like a sad puppy and Enya's on this side debating me.

And then eventually... Y'all are, like, master debaters, though. Like, y'all are, like, really good at master debating. You have, like, two people who have, like, such strong opinions who think they're, like, more... Like, their morals will change the zeitgeist of the fucking millennium. It was crazy. It was really crazy. And, like, it was... Like, exactly. Like, exactly. No, literally, when you get two dumb bitches in the room saying exactly to each other. No, our thing more...

more is like no literally no no that's what I've been saying this whole fucking time yeah like and I'm so glad you met me there because like I was here and where were you and you know Ryan could be the most wrong about something anybody has ever been wrong about and if one of them agrees with them it's they're the right person they're doing the right thing and we're gonna agree at this point we are gonna agree there was a time where I was like

Like, no, just like, no. But I've taken her moral compass and matched it to my moral compass. And even if you put the two together, it still wouldn't be right. Yeah, exactly. No, no, no. It is though. No, it is. I'm unironically, some of the shit like y'all like are wrong right about. I'm like, no, like y'all are right about. But it's probably because y'all have skewed my moral compass as well. But like, let me put it on paper.

From only my perspective. And then we're all like, yes, yes, that is so true. But that's, I think that's the only like real argument we've gotten into. Yeah. And it wasn't even real. We used to butt heads over other shit, but like we never argued over it. It was just like, like,

Like, I will say, like, one thing I really love about our dynamic is that there isn't room for arguing. Like, if I'm upset, you will text me, like, a dissertation to be like, I don't know what I did, but I'm sorry. Or, like, vice versa. Yeah, 100%. Or, like, I can't even, like, get to the point of arguing because it's like, what's the fucking point? Y'all are communicators. Yeah. We're women. What'd you say? We are master debaters. Yeah, debaters. No, we're master debaters.

Yeah. Minus the D. Yeah, exactly. Whoa. The Wingbot Girls.

Let's talk about our wing bot. Let's talk about the wing bot. The creator of wing bot is here. I know you are the founder of wing bot. I don't know how it happened, but it just did. It felt right, you know? It's literally because I went to your house one day and I saw it and I was like, I literally have that. And then you were like, oh, my wing bot? And I was like, that's what you call that? And I was like, let me give you the full name. It's wing bot junior 3000. Exactly. And I haven't shied away from her name.

I know. She's been going strong since 2017. Yeah, no, she's like built. I have another. I have a travel. She has like a buddy. And y'all use that shit. What's her name? She doesn't have one yet. Her name is Manama Sandra. Oh, Manama Sandra. Manama Sandra. In the episode with Josie, we were like,

the car trying to almost explain that and it probably sounds like the craziest audio wait like the whole like the whole go into it but we were just like well Manama Sandra started dating wing Lee and then that was a problem because she was no I like Jones I thought she was dating my mama Bertram no no mama Bertram and pilot Jones are days yes

Pilot Jones got with Manama Sondra. Okay, but let's talk about Harley Davidson being a homewrecker. Like, that's the... Harley Davidson. Oh, fuck.

See, I don't really talk about her that much. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, she talks. Some things happen when we talk about her. Actually, you know, I don't ever talk about Harley. Yeah. That's just like a, that's like she like lives in your world. Yeah. But like I respect her. Yeah. You know? I brought her in and like I really regret it. Like she's really toxic. Yeah. I mean, that's probably why we just actually stay away. We might have to kill her. Yeah. Yeah. Well, what do you got to say? You got all those notes. Well, I was just going to talk about. Come on. Uh.

So, like, did y'all ever have teachers that y'all thought were, like, extremely hot? Like, really, really bad? Oh, yes. Okay, like, specifically, was it a history teacher with those goddamn khakis and bulging the fuck out? Because they knew what they were doing. They were pervy. Bro, they're pervs. They do that shit on purpose. Like, they know their bulge looks fucking great in those jeans. And they're, like, always, like, the basketball coach. Yes. Or, like, mine was the baseball... No, mine was the basketball coach. The other one was the baseball coach. Yeah. But, like...

It was real. It was visceral and I loved them. They're also always too nice and we need to like put them in jail now. I actually agree with that because one...

Oh my God. I had a lot of weird experiences with like male teachers actually. Yeah. Like I had a math teacher who he was like, it was like airport syndrome where he wasn't hot, but like he's the hottest person at the school by proxy because he's, you know, a man. Yeah. But it wasn't weird like that. Let me step away. But he would let me cheat on all my math tests. I'm so bad at math. So like he would let me get away with things. But I...

I remember like the day before graduation. I like, maybe I was enabling this. Girl, but you were a child. You were a child. I followed him on a social media account.

platform and he never followed me back but i never said anything about it but the day before graduation i was like walking to my car and he was just like after graduation i can follow you back the day oh sorry the day of graduation after i walked that fucking stage followed me oh my god and then the best part is a couple of years ago i made a joke on twitter is going to jail yeah i know he's going to show actually

I made a joke on Twitter where I was like, the best thing about, I don't remember what it was, but it was something along the lines of like, the best thing about Twitter is, I mean, not Twitter. The best thing about Tinder is that you could get free dinner or something of the sorts. And he DM'd me the tweet.

and was just like, I just don't find this really funny because like men like really take this serious. Oh my God, I thought he was going to riz all over you. No, no, no. He's being a fucking loser. I just don't take this serious. See, even post high school, he's still teaching. No, but it was like in a way where he's just like, respect men because I take this serious and like I go here to find people and like whatever. And I was like, listen, it was a joke. And then he responds, he was like, but for the record, I'd swipe right. Hello? Hello?

Bro, why not just be like, let me take you to dinner. Like, that's how you like win. Like, let me take you. Let me take you to dinner. That also doesn't sound right. I was a student. Well, he's going to jail. But like, but to like, like, drill you about your joke and then be like, but for the record, I would still take you to dinner. I would. Yeah, do that. And yeah.

I don't know where he's at today. He's in jail. We need to find him. He's in federal prison. We're going to find him on my Raya account one day. We play Raya. Yeah. I love playing Raya. That's like the best game ever is like to get on my Raya account, lay in a circle, and we all giggle about the people on Raya. Everybody's like, dude, everybody cheats these games. Like these apps like a game. It's not a game. Literally what that man was saying. And we're like, yeah, and.

It is literally a game. Like, it's so funny. It's so funny. And, like, you know what? Actually, at that time, I had no money. So, yeah, I was going on Tinder to get free dinner dates. You were starving. I genuinely had...

You were like shitting on me for the dinner because you hadn't eaten in 48 hours. Were you still in Atlanta? I was still living in Georgia and my rent at the time was like, I think like $300. But like all I was making at the time working at American Apparel was like $300. I was going to say we need to talk about that era. So all of my money was going towards rent and I...

Didn't want to ask my parents for money because like they didn't have any fucking money to give me so I went on tinder and I Did actually tell a guy Soggy bottom

I did tell a guy, I was like, you know, like I am on this for dinner. And then he just like kind of laughed it off. And I like laughed it off and I didn't say anything. Cause I was like being serious. I was being, I was starving. I was like, please. You're shaking, getting ready because you had to have your like,

proper meal for 48 hours. I hadn't had a proper meal. I was broke and I lived with a roommate who was actually stealing everything from me. I was going to say, if we can talk about that, you should talk about that. Oh, we can talk about it. Literally. Let's talk about it. We won't mention names, but like, literally just dive in. Yeah, you need to talk about this because it's literally...

fucking hilarious. It's the craziest shit I've ever heard. Like, to preface the story, Orion had, like, a nightmare fucking roommate. And, like, I know what you think. Like, oh, like, overdramatic. He didn't wash the dishes. No, like, y'all, like, literally psycho boots. Like, dangerous. Like, the killer behavior. But, like, I'll let you take it over. So, I met this girl.

- Okay, I am just like clearly, like I said, no moral compass because there were multiple reasons as to why I should not have moved in with her in the first place. - Red flags. - And yet I still did it because I granted forgiveness. But I met her through an ex-boyfriend. He was dating, or his roommate was dating her. Long story short, they broke up because she was lying about her age the whole time. Like he was like a grown man and she was lying about her age.

He found out on Facebook because her dad posted, like, well, no, she, I think, like, three months in, she told him, like, I need to, like, tell you, like, I'm not 23. I'm actually 18. And he's, like, fucking shell-shocked by that. And he's, like, whoa. I think he was, like, 24 at the time or something. And he was just, like, okay, this is really weird. But, like...

I guess. And then they kept dating, I think like only for like a couple of weeks. And then her birthday rolls around and he sees on Facebook, her dad post on her wall, like happy 16th or happy 17th birthday or something like that. And he was like,

fucking like what and I was like oh but she was cool she's the girl she's chill she was like so cool and so eventually like that like I was no longer dating and that person so I became friends with her and it was this like strange way I felt like me becoming closer to her felt like

I don't know, we both were dating roommates and they both broke up with us. - Yeah, it was almost like you guys won something in the end. - Yeah, exactly. - It's that TV show of like the two husbands leaving their wives for-- - Did you love mentioning this damn TV show? - Grace and Frankie. - Yeah, exactly.

I'm sure a lot of y'all have noticed we don't have many ads anymore. And you're probably thinking, wow, oh, my God, I feel so bad for them. They deserve ads. But we're doing our job. You're not doing your job. You need to fucking subscribe and engage with me or I will never do my job again. I like I can't believe I miss reading ads. I like I miss the taste.

So it was like this gorgeous moment of a crazy person who I tried to look past their behaviors. And so she was at this time like 17 and I was like 19.

And she told me, we like sat down for lunch one day and she's like, "Oh, can you, my mom's coming. Like I got this guy to like get this lease on this house. Can you lie to my mom and say that you're moving in with me and that like you basically are on this lease?" And I was like, "Yeah, totally." So we go to this house to see it. It's this beautiful house. And I'm like, "Oh my God, wait, actually, can I live here? Like, I'm not kidding. Like, can I live here?" She's like, "Yeah, you could take any room you want. It's $300 a month. Like that's whatever." - So cheap. - Deal.

As I'm moving in, it's my birthday. We're going out. I see this guy from across the room. I'm like in the most heartbroken state of my fucking life. I just like got over a devastating breakup. And I see this guy who for the first time in a long time that was I ever attracted to anyone else. And I was like, this guy over here.

And she's like, oh, I thought he was cute too. And like, I wanted to get his number. And I was like, not on my fucking birthday, dude. But I'm also not going to have this conversation with anyone. Yeah, exactly. That's all yours. I don't care. And she's like, no, I don't want to. I don't want to. Long story short, I ended up seeing this guy. She, I came home and I told her about it. I was like, you know that guy that we saw? I...

Ran into him at a coffee shop and we're you know, we went on a date. She's like that's so great I'm so happy for you and like it was like this moment where I was like, wow this girl's like she's just She's grown. Yeah, she's a grown up. So mind you I wasn't fully moved in yet I went to go stay at my mom's house and I wake up one morning and I had a missed call from her and I had a missed call from him Wait, did she go see him?

At the time, her only like form of social media that she was really active on was Facebook and same with him. He didn't like have an Instagram or anything. So my first instinct, I have a missed call from the both of them. This is really weird. And I think he texted me like, we need to talk about something.

The first thing I did was go on Facebook and went on his Facebook. And we had all of a sudden one mutual friend and it was her. And we had never had any mutual friends. And I was like, you don't even need to tell me what happened. Like, I know what happened. Yeah. Anyways, I give him a call and he's like, so she invited me over to y'all's house. Ashton.

At the crib y'all were staying at? The house that I was living in. What the hell? And she's like, I invited, or she invited me over and like, well, and like he was like beating around the bush and I was like, okay, well, did you guys have sex? Like, oh, that's all I need to know because I hadn't even had sex with this guy yet.

How long were y'all together for? She got boned before you did. No, fully. We were seeing each other for like about a month. But we hadn't like... Like I said, it was a very sensitive time for me. I wasn't ready to be, you know... Respect. Promiscuous. And...

Turns out as he was like about to answer that it like there was like a prolonged silence and I was like no I just hung up the phone I drove my ass to that house as fast as I could I Opened up the door I hadn't spoken to her all day because she like knows that she did something wrong And I busted the door open and I charged upstairs. I started like packing all my vinyls back into like a box Tumblr vinyls She's like I'm so sorry and I'm like why would you and we're just like yelling at each other and then she

And I don't know if it's so much convincing me because like I knew deep down that like this wasn't the case, but like I just wanted to forgive her. You wanted to just not be. It's like a friend and you live with her and it's like way easier to just be like whatever. And she basically twists the story being like he's doing this to us. Look at what he did to us. Like he's playing the both of us. He's playing us a part. She's acting like this man is like terrorizing our lives. So I was like, okay, word. So I ended up moving in.

That was where it all goes downhill. And I don't know how it already didn't go downhill from there. I didn't know that happened before you even moved in. Yeah, I thought that you were already living there when that happened. That's crazy. That all happened before I moved in. Oh my God. The first thing you moved in was your fucking vinyls. Yeah, girl. That's a heavy bar. Girl, she was working at American Apparel and she was famous on Tumblr. I had a time card at the top of all of your vinyls.

vinyls and you would sit on the floor she was the tumblr girl right thank you I am so jealous of the fact that you worked at American Apparel that's so sick such a lit like I mean it was awful but like historically amazing but like was it though like actually were you a good worker or a bad worker um

I was just saying, cause there's some stories you told me. I mean, I'll go into it, but let me finish this roommate story really quick. Oh yeah, cause there's more. No, she's, I'm trying to make this as short as possible. Like I'm also, I heard that you said that I was a Scorpio, which is blasphemous. I know, I know, but see how I corrected myself immediately. I,

Oh, you said Virgo. No, yeah, because after I go, oh my fucking God, she's a Virgo. She's going to be so mad when she hears that. Yeah, that's trifling and that's blasphemous. And yeah, that's fucked up. Why would you do that? I was thinking of someone I had sex with. I was like, oh, I want to have sex with Orion. And I was like, fuck, dude, I thought of the wrong. I respect that.

The stars are pitting these two beautiful women against each other right now. Like, they're doing something demonic to you. Yeah, right, right. It's the stars. It'll happen. It'll happen. Anyways, I have the ability to turn, like, the shortest story in the world into a fucking, again, dissertation. Because you're a writer. She, like...

Didn't have any friends period so I was kind of her only friend but I had other friends so I would start hanging out with other people and she would get really upset and like text me be like why didn't you invite me or like why aren't you hanging out with me? Oh my god she's literally the killer. And like just became like really angry anytime I wouldn't involve her in things so keep in mind this is when we start going on this tour and I'm out of town and

And she also she was just filthy. She let her dog shit all over the house. She would leave like cereal bowls filled with like. Dude, I really can imagine. This is me talking about Inya. This is me talking about Josh. Yeah. It was humiliating. Like invite someone over and there's dog shit on the floor and like a ferret running loose. Like and that fucking ferret would slip under my door in the middle of the night. Like it didn't have a cage. Ew. And ferrets reek. That was because ferrets really stink. Yes. And she told me I was like, I will move in if I could bring my cats.

And she was like, no, no animals.

A week later, her mother gives her like three cats that she found off the street. And so we have three other cats. Like it was, I was living in a hoarder house. Like it was insane. And anyways, we go on tour and this other roommate comes in and he moves in. They get really close. And I was like, you know what? Fine. Like, thank God. Like she's kind of off my back and like with this guy. And then I'm like, he's going to come around though. He's going to, I started seeing her crazy. I'm like, he's going to come around and see it.

And she, oh my God, so many moments. When we went out of town, I forget really what was the like,

The kicker? The kicker of what it all was. But she would, just to name a few, she broke into my room because I had a deadbolt on my door. She broke into my room, stole my lingerie. I know, that's my favorite one. Yeah, that's my favorite. And being down so bad that you don't have time to go just pick some shit up from Goodwill, you're busting open this girl's door. The worst thing about it is I found out about the lingerie because one, she posted Instagram photos of her wearing my lingerie.

Like, I follow you. Dude, like, literally insane. And two, I came home and she, like I said, very filthy, would leave her, like, dirty clothes on the bathroom floor. And I'm just, like, using the bathroom and I'm, like, looking and I'm like...

my panties are soiled on the ground right now like what again like i hadn't girl you're just lying and you soiled those panties that's the crazy thing is i hadn't it was like nice lingerie like i had no business wearing lingerie in this like moment in time and she was just like denied every part of it like fully denied and then honestly there's something so awesome about somebody living like that

Because how? Like, denial. She was like, I didn't know these were yours. They weren't. They were in my drawer. In the room that you broke down. Literally broke into. God, what else? She...

The day that I moved out, I went on a live stream to talk about her, but I never said her name. And no one knew who I was living with. And, like, no one was really on this live stream, but she was clocked in. I don't know how the fuck she was clocked in. I know. Like, dude, she's literally the killer. Keep going. I'm sorry. No, you're fine. And she...

I had a friend over and Katie and I are in the room like, and I just hear the front door open and then the front door slam and I hear her barging up the stairs and I look at Katie and I'm like,

this isn't good because I have no idea what she's about to yell at me about. And she does like, she's like quintessential white woman where they, when they get mad, they go, can I talk to you for a second? Can you step outside? Hey, like, can you open the door? Like, I just want to talk to you. And that- Were you still on live stream? No, no, no. I've been off. And she-

basically opened the door and was like why are you online saying that i'm a horrible person and i'm like i just like had to like laugh in her face like like i maybe under like to that point situations where i'm in arguing with people i'm arguing with people i like have to laugh because it is because it's genuinely hilarious yeah it's stupid um and i'm like listen i never said your name i never said anything bad about i'm only like telling the truth i said something really her mom was behind her the whole time actually i forgot to mention the fact that her mom was behind her and

I was being really respectful because her mom was behind her, but it wasn't until her mother said something and her mom was like, well, maybe if you learned how to pay rent on time, you wouldn't be getting kicked out. And I was like, oh, so this is the lie. Oh yeah. So she's telling her mom. She's telling people that I wasn't paying rent. So therefore I'm getting kicked out. And, um, I did something really horrible. And I said something about her life that her mother does not know about. I've,

You know what? And actually, I don't feel bad for this because she was terrorizing me. And I just said, well, how about you ask your daughter how she makes her rent money? And then I didn't say what it was. I just said, just ask her about it. And she fucking...

damn it, Orion, and slams the door in my face. And then Katie's filming this whole thing also, like laughing. And I'm like, what is... And she's like, that night I just packed up everything and I left that night. I know, because she literally would have fucking stabbed you in your sleep. Yeah, for real. And another reason why I don't feel bad for saying that is because a year later she texted me and was like, I just wanted to reach out and apologize to you for everything I did. So I wasn't technically the bad guy for saying anything. Was she pocketing your rent money? Isn't that what was going on? Oh, yes. So she also was...

didn't have a steady job. And so she was pocketing my rent money. She was pocketing my roommate's rent money and then was like asking us for more money being like, oh, we actually need like money for the security deposit. Babe, we've been in this house for six months. What do you mean we need the security deposit right now? She's like, hey, the security deposit fell through. So we like need more. It's just like, just to make sure we're safe. Oh, and one time when I was out of town on a press play,

It was Halloween. She threw a Halloween party at our house and she invited over my ex-boyfriend who I was so devastated over, who she knew I was devastated over. And he came probably think, I mean, for the hopes, I'm hoping that he thought that I would be there. But he went to our house and

And oh, also the guy that she ended up having sex with who I was seeing before, she told him to not be with me or to not date me because I'm like, I'm so emotionally unavailable, which like she might've been right about that. But also y'all have known each other for like two days. Yeah. It was awesome. Also, she literally went

after somebody who you were actively seeing. Like, that is so insane. She's a marvel. No, I really mean that. That's what I'm saying. I'm like, it's literally like brave. People who live that lifestyle and genuinely can do it fearlessly are genuinely soldiers. No, I have...

the utmost respect for her in the craziest way because she has managed to live her life this way. And like, even like I moved to LA and a year and a half into moving, I get an email from someone who's living with her at the time being like,

I live with blank and I need pointers. She told me all this about you. I believed it. Now she's doing the same shit to me and she's taking me to court. Like, blah, blah, blah. So... Taking me to court is so crazy. And she needed a witness and I'm like, babe, I'm so sorry you're going through this, but I'm not involving myself with this. Yeah, she was a piece, but I respect it because...

at the end of the day, she ended up getting everything she wanted. I know, she worked for what she wanted. She was living her fucking life. And in her own way, she is a girl boss. Yeah. It's so insane. Like, I...

Also, since we've lived together and with Josh, it's crazy. I'm never going to have a crazy roommate story because... Oh, that can change. That will change. Oh, you know what? It's funny that I said that because behind your back, I'm always like... I'm like my fucking roommate. Yeah, no. It's not friends. It actually feels really wrong to call you my roommate.

roommate. I know I hate it. It doesn't feel like when people are like my life partner that I live with. No I literally say I live with my friends. Yeah. That's I can't say roommate. It's disrespectful. I'll say roommate and then immediately go roommate.

He's my best friend, but we live together. That's why I called him my roommate. You remember that turd you found on your floor like two or three days ago? Yeah. And we thought it was a Zools. Yeah. It was actually me shitting on your floor. Oh, why would you? And you let me clean it. You watched me clean your shit. Yeah, because I was... What did I do to you for you to do that? I just... You didn't do anything. I just like get off on that. Yeah.

Like it's just like this thing. Drew has this thing. Yeah. So I have this thing. Yeah he's so awesome. He's perfect but there is one thing. There is this one thing. He loves shitting on the floor. He loves watching people clean up his shit. It's really charming. I don't think I told you that. I woke up and Azul had pooped on my floor because a turd got stuck to her butt and I think before she got on the bed she like shook it off and then jumped on my bed slept right next to my fucking head and

I had taken a bunch of NyQuil because I was like... I've been super sick and congested. So I went to go get off my bed and I wear slippers in the house. Thank fucking God because I stepped on the shit. And then the next morning because I'm so congested, I didn't smell it. And Drew was like, oh, it stinks in here. And I was like...

Does it though? Cause I don't smell anything. It's cause your nose is like immune to the smell of the litter at this point. She always makes me sleep on the other side of the bed closest to the litter. And I have to like sleep like this. When you sleep in Inya's room, like Azul for some reason takes the loudest, stinkiest, grossest shit. No, it,

No, it really is when someone else is in the room because when Sabrina was staying here, it was the first night I walked to go shower and Sabrina started freaking out because it started to smell so bad in my room because Azul just immediately, the second I left the room, ran into the litter box and took a big shit. She's panicked. Yeah, he literally... He's learning some traits from Drew. Yeah, exactly. He watches his dad. He gets some anxiety and he has to let it out. How about this? Whoa, she has scarlet fever. Yeah, I literally have a scarlet fever cough.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Right. Sorry. Right. Coughing like that is so embarrassing. It's really humiliating. What else you got going on, Orion? Not much. You got something special working on? The devil loves idle hands. That's why I'm here. Guys, Orion has, like, something seriously wrong with her. And, like, she found out about it, like...

Was it yesterday? Found out about it yesterday. I'm self-diagnosing, by the way. It's really sad. It's major. I think I'm dyslexic. I'm so serious. I found out that I have been paying taxes to the wrong person.

under the wrong social security number it's funny because you've definitely you're committing fraud and you're just trying to like cover it up with the fact that you're just like yeah sure but like i might be in federal prison next year like no one's talking about that you can't go to prison because then i have to go to prison so hang out orion's federal prison are yeah yeah well okay i switched up two numbers on accident um

And I'm working on it. But then I was like, this is a serious problem because I was so convinced that that was, you know, my social security number. Is it like you just remembered it wrong? Yeah, what is your social security number? Can you say it out loud real quick? Should I? Yeah, just for people. Is this a safe space? Yeah, it's a safe space. Okay, cool. Anyway, I...

I was doing it right for years. I think it started in 2020 is when I checked my W-2 and it was like things were swapped. And I'm like, oh, fuck. And also, I have a hard time phonetically sometimes. But all the best writers in the world are dyslexic. Well, I have Scott Fitzgerald and Yates.

You know, they're dyslexic. You're basically them. That was the first thing I looked up. After taking a dyslexia test. We'll insert the screenshot. After I took my dyslexia test online, which I think I need to get tested in person because I don't know. You and Drew should go together. We should. That's what I said. I was like, we need to go do that together. And then I looked up writers...

with dyslexia and then You know came a bunch of art They are the most brilliant Writers of all time they can craft a story better than anyone who doesn't have dyslexia So even if I don't have dyslexia, I'm going to lie and yeah, just right now right exactly um

But yeah, me and Orion are going on a slaycation together and it's going to be awesome. It's going to be awesome possum. The girls are going to be scissoring on the beach. Yeah, we're going to be tripping and scissoring on the beach in front of everybody. Is scissoring real? Weird but fucking beautiful. Scissoring on the beach, weird but fucking beautiful. Is that the album? Snow on the Beach, Taylor Swift.

it's like so on the beat it's actually a riot song oh yeah is that on your riot as your song yeah that is literally so funny also I told them and Inya and everybody in my life about this but I don't know if you know about this but like around the same time we first met Taylor Swift wrote a song about me oh really yeah Drew looks at me

Is it like unreleased? No, no, no. She actually does say Drew. She literally does say... Drew looks at me. I fake a smile so he won't see. That was me at the party when you walked in. Exactly. So actually, Taylor Swift notoriously writes songs about, you know... Other couples. Other couples. Jack Antonoff, Lena Dunham...

We did sign an NDA, but like, I think it's expired. I think it's like expired now. It's way expired. I will say, I told her all about that night and you're a legend because of it. Wow. Yeah. Okay, fine. Yeah.

Oh my God. Um, she wrote like love story about us. You know what I should give you is the letter I wrote to you in 2020 for your birthday. Cause it's in my room right now. Cause I don't know right now. No, not right now. Cause it's, it's, I like read through it and it was, it was before, right before we cracked the code of being really intimate. Yeah. Um,

because we were close during covid but i feel like the end of 20 by the end of 2020 we were like inseparable yeah no totally because it was for your birthday 2020 that i wrote this and i still didn't know how to like write something out to you and be like emotional and be serious but i bought that for you and i have the florence vinyl because i got you the florence vinyl and that but then i never gave it to you because i think i got embarrassed because i read the letter i was like

this like I'm like not being fully real here like it's I'm still like have all my shame of my morality scale that I can't move fast no it's so bad I feel like anytime we've written each other a letter it's like it just ends in crying like last this year on your birthday yeah my birthday

- That was major. - Yeah, and then Drew watches in the corner. - Yeah, then I'm just here watching. - I actually tell Drew first what I'm gonna get you and then Drew's like, "Oh, she's gonna cry." - And then she cries. - And then she cries. - I am also a cry baby. I feel like we're both cry babies. - No, we are both cry babies. If you sit us down,

in a table with two glasses of wine and the topic of death, it's fucking over. It's over. It's done. Just sit y'all down at a table with two glasses of wines and y'all will tell the same story y'all have told for the past six years to each other and love and eat it up every time. It's that and like, it's usually like,

the same stories that we still need to rehash because it's like, I'm not done. - It can never end. It's like, I can dig through the same story. There's so many words in the story. We just have to get to every word. - Also like psychoanalyzing the people involved is just really great. - Recently it has been about like youth and it's been bad. Like we went to the Chateau and we had a couple drinks

And on the Uber ride home, we were hysterically crying. About what? Actually, I have the, I think I have a picture. I'm going to see if I can show it to you. We'll never be this young again. And like, wait, it wasn't even, we'll never be this. It was like, it was, it started to stem off. We were talking about how scary it is to think that we are so comfortable in the life we have now. And it feels so good. Like the mundane we have now feels so good, even though sometimes it's tiring. Yeah. It feels so good. And,

And I think what started to trigger it is we were sitting in the car and I was just thinking of all the times we'd been leaving the Chateau and going back to like this apartment to like sleep together. And that started freaking me out because I was like, dude, one day we won't live here. Yeah. So... And it was... I remember really...

This has kind of just been on my mind lately. I'm not so much worried or afraid of aging. I think, obviously, it's a privilege to age. And I'm really excited to see what that looks like for myself. You're literally going to be so hot. I know. You're going to be the sexiest lady ever. I hope so. It's going to be really bad. Because I'm going to be like, fuck, I can't have sex with her. No, you can't. That's my sister. No, she can't. Maybe when we're older, we'll just have sex and get over it. No, that's literally what I think. I'm just like...

someone's gonna have to have sex with each other in this group and ruin it and it might as well be y'all. - I feel like we could at this point live, I feel like we could live past it. - Yeah. - Like if it's gonna be anyone, it'll probably be me who does it. - Yeah, exactly. - Anyways, but I feel, I think I just have this like vision of, I've had this face for as long as I can remember, even like as a child,

Like, I don't know, like, I've always I'm used to looking at this face. Yeah. And at one point in my life, I'm going to look in the mirror, and it's going to be a different face. And it's, and that is so I don't like lack of better words, scary to just know that like, fine. I think about that a lot, too. And especially with like, I don't know if y'all ever saw those videos or those people using like that.

where it made like the younger version of themself and they would be like sobbing. And that's like, that was really scaring me because I was like, then I started looking at old pictures of myself, like from like four years ago and like seeing the change and I still see myself as that person. And then like, then I like have to re get comfortable with this version and

And I know in four years, I'll like look back and be like, oh my God. And then also I'm just like so hard on myself, like with my appearance and like my body and everything. And I'm just like, why can't I in this moment just love what I have? Because in four years, it's going to be even worse. And like, I'm going to be like, I wish I still looked like that. I don't know. It's just something I struggle with.

Yeah, I mean, and it's also just the phenomenon of like you look back at photos from four years ago and you're like, oh, I look so great here. But in that moment, you didn't feel it. But also like, yeah, I don't know, like I'm not so much like it feels weird.

arbitrary like I'm not so much worried about like wrinkles or like you know the signs of aging wait this is an amazing photo you look like um the girl from the chess movie literally I was like yeah you look like Anya Taylor Joy you literally do um yeah I'm not so much worried about I think it's just yeah something to get used to and thinking of

The girl I used to be like I will be I know like I'm technically a woman right now But I feel so much like a girl. I still feel like a girl and Well, you are the girl. I'm the girl. Yeah, the girl so

I don't know. I was reading, which you need to read, Annie or No. I'm reading a girl's story right now. And she talks about this summer in her life of this love affair that she... Or like, yeah, this love affair, I guess. And she keeps referring to herself as the girl of 58, of the year 58. And she's like, I don't know how to write about this. It feels like I'll give myself more freedom if I refer to her as she rather than I. Yeah.

And it's like, I'm like reading this in real time while thinking these thoughts of like, oh my God, yeah, like she, there's this version of her that exists that was so important that is no longer her because she's older now. And so she feels so disassociated with it, but still so attached to it and wants to write about it. But does it know that,

If she'll, you know, like, grant herself more freedom to if she refers to that version of herself as, you know, a third party. Yeah, 100%. It's also insane because I think we're all at the age, too, where we definitely could do that with our teenage selves. Yeah. Because...

all three of us suffer from like nostalgia so bad in a way yeah it's like debilitating all you can do is look back at yourself and think about the way you felt the thing the way you saw things the way you understood and perceive the world and you but i i'm hoping that the way i feel about my teenage self translates when i'm like 50 i'm thinking about myself in my 20s where it's

As much as I have this craving to go back and like, oh my God, I would literally do anything. I was like, even though I was fucking miserable, sad, like upset, confused. I want to go, like part of me wants to go back, but...

I don't think I would if I could because it was such a tumultuous time that it literally is terrifying to me at this age. And I'm hoping and praying to God that by the time we're in our 50s, that's how I feel about my 20s. But I feel like our 20s are literally so fun. Girl, no, our 20s are, like, we are living, like, such an incredible life. Like, I literally have my girls here. And what freaks me out so fucking much is, like, you kind of touched on it, but there's going to be a time when, like, we...

we don't see each other for months at a time. - I know. - And it's so hard. - We can't let that happen. - I don't want that. - No, I know. - I'm just kidding. We cannot let that happen. - No, like I genuinely, like when we talk about, like I've seen it as a joke, but like I genuinely believe that at some point in our lives, like we will literally live on a compound together and we will have our own spaces with our own families, with our own land, but like we'll be a golf cart right away. Like that's what I need.

And I believe it. I mean, like, I cannot imagine not being a drive away from you guys. And, like, also, we've talked about this, too, and it's hard, I think, in the sense of, like, because we both, we think we want children. Yeah. And, like, I think about having, like, our 20s are so fun. And I'm sure our 30s are going to be even more fun. I know. That's the problem is, especially now, as we're getting older, I feel like all of us know a lot of people in their 30s who are still, like...

running around they don't have kids they don't have this like stable life that we were all taught that would be the imagined life for our 30s and also as we inch closer to our 30s it becomes more prevalent that realistically in

Four to six years, none of us are going to be like, yeah, I just have to be home. I want to just really fuck it down. I also cannot realize... I can see us having children and, like, having a life, like, outside of a friendship, like, with a partner or whatever that may look like. But I don't see us as the type of people to just, like, live in that. Yeah. Just stay in it. It's not...

It's just not realistic. It makes no sense. It's no same. Like it literally makes no sense to me that like, I mean, it's different for me than y'all because like literally like, and this isn't like me being funny. Y'all have like a biological clock and that's just like scientific. And like, that's why a lot of people in their thirties are having children at that age. But like, for me, it's kind of different. Like I can wait until my late thirties to have children. Like I'll be an old fucking dad, but like, I don't know. That's something else I think about a lot because I'm like,

also who the fuck am I gonna have kids with because like literally I've literally you know like I genuinely like no it's for real like I want kids and I will probably be raising them alone because like

Girl, I've never been in a long-term relationship. God bless that child. If you are raising a child alone, Drew. Guys, no, I'm like a good person. No, no, I'm just kidding. They'll get Red 40 for lunch. There's kind of like amazing though. Like I've thought about that. Like I thought about the fact that

For me, like a peaceful life also sounds like getting a sperm donor and having a child on my own and just being like, have you ever seen like Matilda, like Miss Honey? And she's like raising Matilda basically. Like that doesn't sound half bad. And also like literally all men fucking suck genuinely. And that's literally how it is. Like except. Kin keeping babes. No, for real. Cannot partake. For real. Cannot partake. You know what it is?

Tell the girls about kin keeping. So kin keeping is when you have a child with a fucking disgusting god forsaken man and every man loves to be like I want to be a dad, I want to be a dad until the dadding has to start dadding.

The dad is not dad. Yeah. The dad cannot function without the mother who is literally building the foundation of this home, whether that be by like cooking, cleaning, caretaking, caretaking, not only the kids, but the husband, making sure everyone's fed, making sure everyone's clean. And there are like little things that too. I saw this TikTok of this girl being like, oh, me and my husband, we split our chores like he does the dishes and I go grocery shopping.

grocery shopping requires thinking about what you're going to buy, planning for dinner. Like there's like so much that goes into just grocery shopping versus doing the fucking dishes. You know what I mean? Like, like it is so insane. And yeah, you just end up,

up keeping a whole household all on your own without realizing it because... And then the dude is like, well, I provide for this family. I go work and I work eight hours a day. And it's like, girl, it doesn't fucking matter. What men are providing these days? I know. They are making... There's no real men. No real men are left. On their phones, build a fucking house. And I very seriously mean that. And I was saying, get back to the fucking steel beams in New York City. Like, get back on those and start welding that shit back together. I...

you want children, but you don't want to like, literally making TikToks. Yeah. That's what the thing is at this point. I genuinely like, God bless whoever I, if I had ended up having kids, whoever I have kids with, I genuinely also suffer from if it's going to be done right, it's going to be done by me.

And I just don't see a world where anybody could raise my kid because that's my fucking kid. Let's get that fucking right. That's my fucking kid. And also, you are so protective over, like, your creative babies that, like, I literally think, like, if you have a kid with a man, like, it is your kid. It's not that man's kid. Yeah, it's literally no question. It's like, get the fuck away from my child. That's my child. Yeah.

And I don't know. It's just like literally get away. Also, but when you were saying how we don't... Oh, wait. You finish that. I was just going to say also it's different because like girls can twerk. Fuck you. And that's the first thing I'm teaching my daughter. Yes. She has to be able to. I'm going to make an honest woman out of her. If my kids can't dance, that's going to be really embarrassing.

but that's just something I thought about like them going to a party and not being able to dance like why does that sound really embarrassing like not knowing how to like just like have fun like that's really embarrassing you need to like raise your children somewhere that's like in Miami basically so that they know how to like run around and like have fun but

- I think the reason too, although we are all like, I want kids, whatever, we have so much fulfillment in our friendships that it is really, really, really hard to imagine a life with not only a partner, but like just imagining a whole life where our friendships aren't so coming first. - I was gonna say that.

No matter what relationship I will be in, my top priority is I'm like, that's cool. But how am I going to be able to have my friendships and maintain them? Because they're so like, of course, any romantic relationship I get into is going to be important to me.

- But you're not my f*cking girls. Like, you were just-- - Yeah. - Like, you were simply not my friends. Like, there is no one else I want to just sit on a couch and watch random YouTube videos and screenplay TikToks with more than my f*cking friends. Like, I just wanna-- it's so different. - What we should do is we should all have a child together. - I would say we should all find one sperm donor. - Yeah, me. Hello.

Yeah, actually, Drew is the sperm donor. Let me impregnate you. Oh my God, could you imagine? Drew is a twin. Imagine we got Drew's sperm and we... And both of us had twins. Oh, we can do that. We can arrange that. We can do that. Like, let's do it right now. Let's do it. I don't think we should do it like with a doctor. Like, let's just go to your room. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we'd save money. We'd save so much money. Why would we put it in the hands of a medical professional? Yeah, I mean, you've proved it for sure. Yeah, right. But what were you saying? I forgot. Oh, I was...

At the same time, I was having this thought when I was washing my face, because this is our second year in a row we're doing a silly occasion. Yeah. And it's so fun. And I thought about it. I was like, oh, like it was a sweet moment where I was like, oh, like in 10 years, like imagine us like bringing our like little toddlers with us. And it's just like, and then that also got me on the next thought where I was like,

The fact that I'm thinking of planning a vacation with my friend and her baby and my baby and there is no... Like, my partner is not involved in this, whoever I end up with. Like, I'm not thinking about us having a family vacation. Like, I'm thinking about me and my friend having a vacation. Because it would be way more fucking fun if we were in our home, which we're making our home away from home. Exactly. Our vacation home. If we, like, had that with our little babies in that kitchen, like, running around. Exactly. And then we should make... Why would a man be there? Why would a man be there? No, it's actually pissing me off. Oh, my God.

me off why would a man be there why do you want to be there like you're literally in my fucking space like i'm literally gonna freak out i'm not kidding she's crying oh my god why do you want to be involved oh my god no like you're kind of like in my business no you were literally oh my fucking god like there is the killer in the house

Like, I'm gonna call the police. No. And, like, I think we should also, like, arrange our kids to get married. So that we could be, like, mother-in-laws someday. So that would be lit if, like, our kids followed up. Y'all would be related. Yeah, we're gonna, like, arrange the marriage. We'll make it happen. Yeah. Well, okay, we'll keep them, like...

friends growing up and then let them date around because we have to make sure that like they get together in like their 30s so it's like okay yeah I'm like I'm really down for this and we'll just when we'll always break up their relationships and then be like oh my god have you ever thought of

I think what I'll do is if I have a daughter, I'll just raise her in my hometown and make her believe that she has to be abstinent, just like I thought. And then she'll save... I'll let my daughter save herself for your son. I think I'm gonna... Thank you so much. I think I'm gonna raise my child...

my able-bodied child in a wheelchair. You know what's crazy? And, like, pumper full of chemicals and shit. Okay, first of all, you want Gypsy Rose? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, we need her on the podcast so fucking bad. I know. We need her on the podcast so bad. She comes out of jail this year, I think. Yeah, in, like, the end of this fourth quarter this year. We should have a party for it. I'm not even kidding. Like, for real. We need to go to...

The thing is... We need to go see her. She's the girl, like, for real. No, literally. I genuinely think, like, she did nothing wrong, and I don't give a fuck. Yeah, free her to live. No, I actually agree. Like, what an insane scenario. She literally, like, what would her life be if she didn't do that? She would literally still be held captive. Yeah. No, fully. Fully.

Or she would probably be dead. But yeah, she probably would be dead from being like pumped with medication she didn't need. But you know what's crazy? Before I knew Gypsy Rose was a person, I literally made a joke to my brother. We're probably going to have to cut this. Where I told Dante, like we were literally, I think I was like 14 and this was my humor. I was sitting in his room and I look at him and I go...

If I have kids, I'm literally just going to have one of them stay in a wheelchair and convince them they can't fucking walk and never let them have friends over and never let them out of my sight so that they never attempt to walk and really convince them of that. And then one day I'm going to let them have a friend over and I'm going to leave them in the room and I know the friend's going to be like, have you ever tried to walk?

and it's gonna come up and the kid's gonna stand and I'm gonna walk into the room and see the kid standing and I'm gonna have to break its legs oh my god oh my god you're scaring me some things like I thought this was gonna take a positive turn I know like this is a bit yeah it was all the joke no and yeah um

Right after you sobbing. Yeah, something's wrong. You saying that after you cried. I literally did just start crying about the idea of a man being next to our kids while we're on vacation, so maybe I do need help. No, but you're like, it's real, though, because I don't even want a man there when we don't have kids. I know. Like, the thought of, like...

The only man that's allowed to be in my presence at that time is that sweet little old man putting treats at the front door for us. I know. He's so lit. Like, I love him and I'll do anything for him. Really. Truly. I think I would. Yeah. But a man on vacation with us? Ever? You know what's annoying is then it's like, it's going to be like a situation where he's like, oh, like, let's go to dinner. Like, Orion is going to stay. I'm like, why is Orion staying home? You know what it is, too? At the end of the day, it's because we won't be able to share a bed.

No, literally. That's exactly what it is. Because the house that we stay out on vacation has six fucking bedrooms. And we managed to sleep in the same bed. Are we going to pick a different bed this time? Every single night, maybe. Yeah. That one was a little... It hurt my back a little bit. Yeah. Those pillows were mad uncomfortable. Dude, the beds there, literally, I don't think humans actually sleep on them. They're like rock hard. They're like for looking. But yeah, wow. What an episode. We've been at it for an hour. Yeah. Yeah.

Gorgeous. Well, I have one more thing to say. O'Rianya. Yeah. That's the name. Oh, is that our ship name? Yeah, O'Rianya. But I had a dream last... I had a Fortnite dream last night. Shut the fuck up. I'm not kidding. And it was a nightmare. Actually, let me listen to the audio message I sent because I don't remember it, but I sent it to Josiah at like 4 a.m. It's a strange kiss.

I thought I ended up there. Yeah.

It was so scary. That's your dream? You jumped off a mountain in Fortnite? I jumped off a mountain in Fortnite and splatted on the ground. That's the dream. In the dream, were you like a Fortnite character or you were real? I was a Fortnite character. It was like the Fortnite map.

Right. I had a Fortnite dream with Bella Hadid in it. Oh, my friend. After I really started, yeah, with your girl. Yeah, that's my friend, guys. Bella. I know Bella. I remember my dream where I thought, or I had a dream that Cardi B posted a photo of my cat on her story. That is so stupid. I feel like you had, like, a crazy dream recently. There are multiple. Like, if I ever had access to black tar heroin...

I do not know where my brain would go. No, that's me. I'm so... Wow. Girl, we need to try H together. No, you don't. My brain terrorizes me in the astral realm of dreaming. Where would I... What would I start speaking about? Actually, I don't know. You would start pointing at the stars and, like, communicating with the stars. Okay, that's something I did think about. It's like, the first time I, like...

heard about astrology was through you. Like you were really obsessed with it. And like back then I was like, girl, this shit is bullshit. But like, I'm going to do it because people like are really into it. And like there might be something to it. And I still like never, ever fully believed. And then I started thinking about it and like,

Girl, like, look at the fucking moon. Like, the moon literally controls, like, giant bodies of fucking water. Like, makes waves, like, lowers the tide, raises the tide. We're made of, like, a lot of fucking water. So it's just, like, giving, like... It has to do something to us. Like, the lunar cycle has to. Also...

I hate the thing about astrology is especially when you... Australia. Australia is when you start like especially... Oh my God, this is just like an anti-men episode but like

The multiple times that I've started seeing a guy and been too afraid to be like, when's your birthday? Because I fear if I ask him what his birthday is, he's going to be like, oh, you're going to guess what my start. You're one of those stupid people. Yeah, you know what? I am. But you know what I also do? I sit there and I fucking pretend that I like whatever goddamn sport is on your mind. I'm like, go Ravens, go dogs, whatever it is. I'm pretending. I'm lying. And you can't like for a second lie to me that like,

i'm having fun with you're even interested you are a whatever what's so annoying about it is why don't you just take it as a fucking compliment this person is so interested in you that they like want to look they want to read about you like no literally it might come from a place of insecurity like if it says they're y'all aren't compatible that like you'd leave or some shit i don't know but i am a pisces gemini what do you know about that

You're emotional. And well, I guess like Pisces would be like very... I mean, I'm not a fucking expert on this. But like what I do know about Pisces is that they're emotional. And Gemini men are very wish-washy from my experience. Or like...

Is this in the context of like relationships? Is that what everybody bases it on? Kind of, yeah. But not also like, no, like Pisces are notoriously like emotional creatures. I think I'm not an expert. I like I'm just self-absorbed. Oh, you would be an astrology expert. Like I'm sure you know a lot about astrology. Yeah, I'm self-absorbed and the only thing only about me though. Well, before we end the episode, I actually do have two serious questions that I thought of last night.

One is, are you writing right now? Which I feel like you already answered in your... You know, I was actually thinking about this on the couch where...

I don't know how this thought got popped in my brain, but I am writing, but there is no like book that there is like an active... Destination. Like theme. Yeah. Like I'm writing towards something, but like I don't know what that something is. Write about Inya and y'all's escapades. Well, what was crazy? Well, that's... Trust and believe. Hello. As crazy as I think like...

I used to write so, so, so much. And I think it was mostly because I didn't have anyone to tell these things to. Whereas now our relationship has become so emotionally... It's just so strong that I don't fear telling you anything. So the thoughts don't resort to paper anymore. They almost resort to you. Dude, I was thinking about that the other day because I was like...

I had this notebook that I started writing in in January and I haven't written in it since. And it's literally because I've been telling you everything. So then when I go to write, I feel kind of silly because I'm just thinking, okay, I've just explained this. Also, it sucks because we get into these, like, really deep conversations. I feel like what we're saying, I'm like, oh, I wish this was, like, written down somewhere. And then when I, like, when you get to the paper, it's like, am I about to repeat myself to myself? Like, what am I...

But I don't know. I feel like we went to Big Sur and we all wrote and that was like the first time in a long time where I was just really like writing towards something which felt really good. And I don't know. I think that for the first time in my life, I can like confidently say I'm genuinely proud about what I'm writing about because I see that I'm getting better at what I do. Which is super nice. Which is also strange because then I'll read back some things and I'm like,

it almost feels like fake. I'm like, did I like make that? Like, did I like plagiarize this? Like, it's actually kind of good. And like, it doesn't like, no, like, which I've never, ever, ever had that with anything that I've written before. Yeah. You've read, I remember even like 2021 when we were in, well, where were we for Christian's birthday? You read something that you had written. Even I was shocked because you haven't read anything you've written in a long time. And it was more of like a personal essay. Yeah.

it was right next to fucking Mount Baldy or whatever the fuck and you read it and you didn't tell me it was yours and you read it and I was like dude that was so good what is that and you were like I wrote that and I remember being like obviously I like your writing but that was like a moment where I was like oh what there's just like an obvious like growth there yeah it was like a huge jump

And then my second question is, what is your ideal writing setup that actually works? Like, when are, when is that? Where are you? Because I feel like for a lot of people, and just like this goes to any like creative work in general, there's this idea like Drew and me have like our desk with all our pens and papers and all these things. But how often do you actually sit there and like use all those things in that space you've gathered? What is your actual setup?

- Process. - Set up? Like, do you feel like you have to set up the moment or does it just usually? - It usually, like, I feel like on a day to day, things will pop in my head and I'll like jot it down and whether it's my notebook or like my notes app in my phone,

But if I'm like really wanting to write, I try not to sit at my desk because, or I try not even to be home period 'cause there's so many distractions. I mean like literally when I was finishing film for her, I went to Paris. At the time I didn't know anyone in Paris. And I was like, there is nothing to distract me here. 'Cause I'm, you know, you fucking text me and you're like, let's go to Whole Foods and I'm on my way. - Yeah. - Like any little thing I'll go to. So it's usually not home. My desk is more reserved for like

and putting it into something. But if I am writing at home, it's usually at night in my bed before I go to sleep, just to kind of like wrap up the day. Yeah, that makes sense. That's sweet. Who are your favorite authors? I mean, right now, I've said it before, I love Annie Arnaud right now. Sylvia Plath, I love. Ani Snin. Also, that's another thing. I've realized that

In the past, like, two years, I've not read a book written by a man. I read one... I literally haven't either. No, I've literally read, like, one Nobukov book that wasn't Lolita. And that's it. Was Lolita written by a man? Yeah. And, you know, actually, it was his first... He's Russian, and Russian is his first language. And Lolita was the first book that he wrote in English, which is why it's, like, genuinely so... Like, such an intense book because...

the verbiage in that book is insane. Like even somebody whose first language is English, like a lot of the words that he is using is like, what the fuck? Like you are insane. No, I read a book of his called Mary, but no, everything I've been like, Patricia Highsmith is also really good. God, what's her name? She wrote The Price of Salt, which I couldn't finish reading. Yeah.

for obvious reasons. - The way like you-- - I was gonna say, you read David's "Wade of the Earth."

Yeah, but that was like three years ago. Oh, damn. Yeah. Which was also really good. But it's... He's a gay man. Yeah, I know. That's not a man. He's a gay man. And he has, you know, some sensibilities there. I like went on a deep dive of like nihilism and existentialism and all of that shit like right after my brother died. And like...

It fucked me up, but also like it really did heal me in a crazy way. And I think like when I was like 16, if I picked that shit up and read that, I literally would have killed myself. I would not have been okay. But like,

I think that shit that's, like, okay for, like, a developed brain, especially when I was, like, so... I was hurting so badly and I was just, like, looking for answers and, like, it was just, like, a great... Those were, like, great guides for me to, like, kind of just be, like, oh, it kind of doesn't matter and, like, if there is an afterlife, which I hope there is, I'll just see them there or I'll just wake up in this exact same fucking life and, like, I won't even know I died or, like, whatever it is. Like, there's so many different things that I think about of the afterlife. But...

Helped me a lot. Maybe I should revisit that because I read it and I was like, it almost validated the things that I was thinking. And I was like, fuck, like, can I like read something that redirects my brain in a different scenario? One thing about you is you're gonna fucking read. Like, I wish I could read. Yeah. You know...

I want to read more fiction, actually. I can't do fiction for some reason. Like not real. Like a fictional... I guess I'm trying to think in recent. I read...

I read My Year of Rest and Relaxation, which is fiction, which I actually didn't think it was. I didn't know it was fiction because no one knew what that book was. And I just like stumbled upon it. And I was like, oh, fun little memoir. And I'm like, I Google the girl. I'm like, because like she describes herself as like blonde, blue eyed, like gorgeous, beautiful girl. And I'm like, I need to know what this girl looks like. Halfway through the book, I look up Otessa Moshfag. And it is absolutely the opposite of...

Like the way she had described stuff. Yeah. Dark hair. Yeah, very opposite. And I was like, oh my God, this is not a real book. Like I went into this thinking that this was a memoir almost. Dude, I... It is so annoying. I never finished that book because of my not finishing book syndrome. Yeah.

Which actually, two of the books I just finished were books that I had to finish. But what's so annoying is I fucking start books and I get like a third of the way in. And then I move on to another book, get a third of the way in. And then once I revisit the other book to be like, I'm going to finish it. You forget. I'm like, what the fuck is this?

is happening like I need to like go to the page I've like started and then I have to restart it and then I won't finish the book but I didn't finish my year of rest and relaxation because I started it because of you and um it just reminded me of like my depression when I was not doing exactly what she was doing but to an extent just like drugging myself sleeping all day like being depressed yeah and I started reading I was like

damn that was fun like why should I do this again because I literally like you're like no taking no dumb bitches like exactly no literally no literally yeah I've been thinking it's also just such a repetitive book so like yeah I could see you not I think the only thing that you've finished in recent time was consent

Yeah, that was, like, the book... That was the only book that I, like, finished because I picked up and, like, drilled through everything else. I, like, have... Every book I own, I've gotten a third of the way into. And then just recently... Yeah, I did it with Milk Fed. I did it with Weight of the Earth. I still have the finished Bell Jar. I think you just need a gripping story. Yeah, I need... Because all of those...

I mean, I haven't read Milk Fed, but I think... Because Consent was like... It was like tea. You're reading the Bible. I'm like, what's next? What happened? That book I plowed through. But I did finish...

walking through a pool painted black and david's book and then i i had to restart bell jar in big sir or not in big star oh i restarted it in korea see maybe that's why maybe on our trip i'll read more because in korea i finished cooking this book and david's book yeah on the fucking plane and just walking around and like reading to myself um

And then I started... I had to restart fucking Bell Jar because I picked up at, like, page 60 and I was reading it. I was like, literally, who the fuck is she talking about right now? Like, what is happening? So I had to restart it. And restarting a book is so annoying because, like, I hate reading a paragraph and I'm like, bitch, I know what you're about to say. Like, I literally know what you're about to say. But...

I'm doing the thing where I pack too many books to bring on our trip. I will be doing the same. But I'm... Oh, but see, like, Annie's books, from what you're telling me, I'm like, oh, that's getting done. No, I think that you will finish her books. Yeah. I think that, like, her... Sorry, this has gone on for so long, this podcast. No, it's so okay. I think also in the topic of... Even, like, going back when we were talking about, like, getting older and, like, we'll change or whatever. Reading her books...

Talk about it. Like some memoirs. She's like in her mid to late 40s. And she has the same thought process as me in my 20s. And I'm like, holy fuck, I am never growing out of this. Like, I think that I'm going to have some

Yeah, revelation. One day you're just going to wake up and be a new person. And be so wise. So scary. And emotionally. I'm stuck like this. Emotionally kept. Exactly. Like, well-mannered. It's okay if you aren't. And also, I really love writers like Chantal Akerman and Annie Arnaud who write such profound things with simple language. Because I think that you assume in order to be a writer, you have to like really woo the crowd with words.

yeah, your like vocabulary almost. And they do a phenomenal job of making their work palatable, but still profound in its own way. Yeah, 100%. It's also like then it's playing into the idea that you also are a woman and a writer. And I feel like there's such a competition with yourself and the world and the way you want to be. You never want to be perceived as somebody who's lacking intelligence, right?

So there's it's really easy to overcompensate and want to be taken seriously. Exactly. Like I need to use big words. I need to explain this out in like extreme like agonizing detail so that it seems like I really have thought about this. But in reality, it's not necessary. And then you do read a book which is like very clearly like influenced by a thesaurus. And then you're like, oh, this is so pretentious. So it's like no one wins at the end of the day. Yeah.

Right. Right. Well, what do we do? That was emergency intercom. We're going to do some media. We like at the end of every episode, pick out a couple songs, books, movies, shows, whatever you've been consuming media wise. And we say them, I'll start it off. When the sun hits slow dive, ladies and gentlemen, we are floating in space, spiritualized lover. You should have come over Jeff Buckley, uh,

show what did we we watched something oh y'all watched Black Mirror yeah we like tuned into Black Mirror the first episode and like

I don't think it was for me fully. Like, it was just giving, like, everything everywhere all at once. Like, just trying to be something it's not. Like, you're like, I've seen it. Yeah. Wait, my dad posted a story. He's in New York working. Listen to the fucking song he put on his story. This is, like, I think my face, like, obviously we're on camera, so it showed.

You cannot have the new cop. Damn, he's with the shit. I was going to talk about that this episode. I was going to say, I literally... He's tapped in. No, he's tapped in. I was going to say this, but I was like, I'm just going to say it for another episode, but since we're already here. When I was like 17, um...

My buddy Tag, like, knew about Playboy Cardi. I'm just gonna shut the fuck up. We'll just do media and then I'll tell it in a different episode. Sorry. Got teased. Basically, I went to Houston and that's all you get. But... Yeah, because if that's a long story, that does need to be told. I tried to say this in the last episode or the episode with Josiah, but I was high and...

This is a song that's been sang by a bunch of people, but this is the version I like. Muskrat Love, Muskrat Candlelight by Willis Allen Ramsey. Take Control, Count Base D, Wish That I Could Talk To You, The Silvers. Tick, tick, tick, it wears off Todd Rundgren and Hello It's Me by Todd Rundgren. That's my media. Yeah.

Well, I didn't fucking prepare for this. So you guys like really suck at your jobs. I feel like I've been listening to like Someone in Love by Bjork. I Wanted It To by Roberta Flack. Valentine by Fiona Apple. And Lana's last album. Like that is all I've really been like truthfully been listening to. Respect. You read anything recently that you're obsessed with? Do I? Yeah.

Like media wise? Just book wise. I will repeat it again. I'm in my Annie or no kick. I've read like five of her books this year and I'm on my fifth at the moment. And, um,

Yeah. Well, thank you so much for being on. Yeah. Thanks for having me. I feel bad because I feel like this is me. Yes, yes, exactly. Yeah, it was. Well, that's the key why I was like hesitant because I'm like, that's what's going to happen. No, we talked about it before and I was like, no, I'm literally so okay. Like literally, I just want to Ryan on so people can see her brain inside her head and see this version that we get to see and love. So I was like,

more than happy to just sit back and chill. Also, y'all are just the girls. Like, that's what it is. I know. I feel like that's most of our hangouts anyways. Me and Ryan be like, boo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo. And Drew's like, yeah, yeah, no, I thought that too. Exactly. Exactly. No, literally. But yeah, thank you so much for being on. Thanks for having me. I think it was an awesome episode. And thank you guys for watching. Peace and love and unity and respect. Now let's go boom! Ew!