Ep. 37 - Talking Sons
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Dungeons and Daddies is a rowdy, horny, violent podcast for grownups. Content warnings can be found in the episode description. This program is about unsolved mysteries. Whenever possible, the actual family members and law-keeping constables have participated in recreating these events. What you are about to hear is not a news broadcast.

Tonight on Unsolved Mysteries, a Charleston Chew, a caramel candy not of this world, was consumed by a middle-aged man named Daryl Wilson. Nobody saw him eat it, and yet the foul horror that came out of him has devastated the minds of all who have witnessed it.

We'll also examine the case of a child by the name of Peyton Bennett's created from the soul of a long dead father pulled from the nether realms. His memories are locked away inside an artifact shaped like a bowl. And in the township of Balls Deep, a once popular sport which drew crowds of thousands mysteriously loses all their fans seemingly overnight. Did the sport become too boring or was it ghosts?

Welcome to Dungeons and Daddies, not a BDSM podcast. More of a loose D&D podcast if I'm being honest about four dads from our world flung into the Forgotten Realms in the quest to rescue their lost sons. My name is Freddie Wong. I play Glenn Close, the rock and roll bard dad of the group.

This week's Glenn fact. We've been seeing a lot of fan art about Glenn's body recently. I want to talk about Glenn's tattoos. Oh, mine's a tattoo fact. Oh, okay. Well, that's actually synergy. That's good. All right. Synergy, man. Yeah. All right. Glenn has one tattoo. It's on the tramp stamp spot.

What is it? I'll let you, dear readers, decide with your fan art. Yeah, we're not saying what it is. What cowardice is this? That's not a fact. That's a hole where a fact should be. Yeah. That's synergy. That's a big sin. I want people to fill it in. What? No, it's a tramp stamp that says sin. It's like a Christmas ivy. It says sin. Yeah. It says sin and it's Christmas ivy. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. It's sin but in like that Noel font. I thought you were going to say it was like mistletoe. Like, you got to kiss my butt. Yeah.

Which means that every time you've been mooning the Omega dad, you're like, who says it's his only tattoo, Anthony? That's true. He just did me. Oh, did he? Well, I, this shows you how much I listen to my dad fact. You guys know that I would get a tattoo of like anything, right? We've established this before that. Like I, I have so little regard for like my humanity and my personhood and my body that I like probably would get anything tattooed on me. Poop emoji. Um,

Guys, we do a video game high school logo. My God. All right. Hello. My name is Matt Arnold. I play Daryl Wilson, a stay-at-home coach dad who turns into a barbarian when he enters the Forgotten Realms. Daryl absolutely loves fireworks. Oh, my God. Fireworks. His favorite. Loves bootleg fireworks. Love getting fireworks anywhere he can. The kids...

Come to Daryl's house on 4th of July because they know he's willing to sneak out at 9 o'clock at night. Is Daryl the fucking guy who has been setting off fireworks every 20 minutes? Glenn 100% is the guy, though. Glenn is the guy who does that like July 1st on random times of day just because. Daryl's the guy who's been prepping for three weeks to make his own fireworks show. That's going to be better.

One of the things he loves to do is I don't know what they're exactly are called, but they're like these like balls that go flying out and he can put them in like big tubes. Flying fizz balls. Flying fizz balls. Is that what they're called? No. OK, well, him and his friends always called them the Big D and he just thought it meant Big Daryl. But it's like, you know, you're holding a big phallic thing. So all the kids were running around talking about the Big D and Daryl got in trouble with all the moms and everything.

other parents because he bought them all fireworks and making dick jokes. Homeowners Association really clamping down. Daryl's been banned from fireworks for the last couple of years. It really depresses him. Is he locked in a fight with the local homeowners association? Like they're like saying like, Mr. Wilson, you cannot have any more displays. Mostly the doodlers parents association or whatever it's called. Boosters Club got pretty mad at him. We needed this dad fact back when we had Odyssey sign because then we could just do that. You've been storing Odyssey.

all of your fireworks in the Odyssey song. I feel like, wait. Nothing but sparklers now for him. Is the Doodlers Parent Association, like, I don't know. I try not to think of what's possibly going on in the outside world while we're in the Forgotten Realms, but I feel like, yo, maybe, like, somebody has sent the police after us or some of all these missing kids and stuff. I don't know.

It's only been a couple hours. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sorry. Eventually, they will almost certainly send cops and assume that you all just kidnapped your own children and your horrible, horrible dads. Damn. That is the adventure when we come back is that we are framed for kidnapping our own kids. And that's why you don't defund the police, guys, because who's going to go after four lost dads in the Forgotten Realms? Oh, my God.

Who's going to go after them, huh? All right. Let's hear your dad. Riddle me that, liberals. Who's going to go save the dads if we defund the police? If you don't defund the police, the podcast will end because the police will pry us out of the Forgotten Realms. Hey, everyone. I'm Will Campos, fun liberal.

I play Henry Oak, hippie druid, rockin' stockin', burkin' stock, munchin', crunchin', hippie nation. Ooh, new wave. New wave doing that. New wave, new way, new dad, new me, new dad fact about Henry's tattoo, which is also a tramp stamp. Is tramp stamp okay to say? Probably not. All right. Wait. Fun fact, dad fact about- Empowered woman tattoo spot. Yeah.

Because I'm pretty sure they're not talking about like the Charlie Chaplin type of tramp. Yeah, that was where it came from. The Charlie Chaplin tramp would just be in the Hitler space of your face. Henry's empowered woman lower back tattoo spot tattoo is of he went in to go get the peace sign done, but he wound up getting the Mercedes Benz logo. Yeah.

And because the guy fucked it up and gave him a Mercedes Benz logo. And then, but he was like, well, no, it's okay. Cause it's like, it's Mercedes O Garcia, right? It's about you, babe. Like, and he tried to pull that for her every time she pegs you. Yeah, exactly. Oh my God. 100%.

But the real reason that Henry doesn't get it changed is because it hurt too much. So he's like, because he could very easily get that extra line added to make it a peace symbol like he wanted, but it hurt like a son of a gun. She's Mercedes and he bends. Oh, man.

That was very, very good. Next level pun. Thank you. 10 out of 10. I've been sitting here thinking about like, what's another version of Tramp Stamp that like this empowered woman would be cool with? And I think I'm just like fine with Tramp Stamp. Hi, I'm Beth May. I mean, you've already told us that you're literally willing to put any tattoo on your body. So yeah, this is good because I was having a hard time coming up with a Ron fact today. So I really,

I won't say a wrong fact. I'll say a bad fact that I would definitely at some point in my life get a tramp stamp of Tramp from Lady and the Tramp and he would be like sexy. And he's got a sexy dragon stamp like on his lower back. Like it's like Tramp Stampsception. Yeah. Yeah.

The Germans call them Arschgeweih, which means ass antlers. I love that. That's so much better. That's so good. Ass antlers. All right. That's Henry's ass antlers. That's great. That is sexually strong energy. You know that muscle thing that is called stripper dimples? Yeah. The thing above your butt? Yeah. Yeah. The thing that I've always wanted, but never had. It's the V for your butt.

Yeah, it's your butt V. But like to have just anything in that area called antlers. Oh, I would love that. That's very powerful. Let's do it. I'm Anthony Birch. I'm your daddy. I have sort of the opposite of a tramp stamp because I have a surgery scar on my front and I was looking at it and I was like, oh, this is so cool. I got this big old scar. I'd ever consider myself a cool scar. Yeah, for my surgery. We get it. You're an amazing person, Anthony. He brought it up. I was just saying I have a scar. It could have been from anything. It could have been from fighting a bear.

And I was like, oh, this is so cool. This is so hardcore. And I looked at it a little bit more and it kind of curves upward on the side. So it kind of looks like a left parentheses or right parentheses like put on their side. I was like, oh, that's unfortunate. But then I looked even harder and I realized my belly button kind of looked like an eye. So it just looks like I have a smiling Cyclops right above my dick because of the way that my scar works. It sounds like you have a C-section scar. Yeah.

It's very C-section-esque. Yeah, now when I look at my abs, I was, for the briefest time, felt masculine and proud. And now I'm right back to where I was. You know what that means is we need a picture of that scar and then Freddie will Photoshop into an icon for our Discord. And that could be the winky face icon. Nice. The proximity to Pubetown is way too heavy for me to ever give a picture. Hold on. Good thing Manscaped sponsored the podcast. That's true. Wait, wait, wait. Sorry, Anthony. Just to be clear. So it's like a little smiley face curl.

Yeah, it's basically a scar. It's a little smiley scar above my pubes. Could you please have across it? Why so serious? And a little joker. Like a joker thing. Anytime I'm about to have sex, I will immediately make myself not about to have sex by saying, do you want to know how I got this scar? It's all part of the plan.

Every girl I sleep with, they tell a different story. They all contradict. Oh, no. Oh, man. That's why I'm always smiling. Let's put a smile on that face. I got surgery on my stomach, too, where I got my abs surgically removed, and so now I don't have to think about having abs anymore. That would be my surgical scar.

The last time we were in the Forgotten Realms as a family, Aaron O'Neill had just taken Peyton and Daryl aside. Daryl had invited Grant, but Grant didn't want to come because he's sad. And Aaron basically laid out that the supper bowl that you had just won, which was supposedly going to be the anchor that keeps Daryl and Peyton and Grant locked in the Forgotten Realms and unable to return to our world, that it's actually a fake.

Daryl just said, Peyton's my dad. And Henry and Ron had classic stinger reactions. Those classics. Yeah. We were really funny. Oh, God. Daryl raises an axe and brings it down on Peyton's head. Oh.

Okay. No, no, no. Much like the Highlander. Okay. You absorb all his power. Yeah. Yeah. There can only be one. So you're slightly less powerful. Oh man. Okay. Well, I mean, yeah, Henry. I mean, I mean, not literally my dad, but he's your, was I just, I'm very confused. So Peyton's your dad. How does that work? He's my half brother. So you're Ron's brother. Oh,

Absolutely not. Well, I mean, I've never had a brother before, so this is just an honor. You know, I look up to you. You still don't. You still don't, Ron. I think, like, I'm probably older than you are because I know more, but you're taller than I am, so it is like you're my big brother. Like, this is something that I've thought about ever since I heard about camping.

This is just, I'm so excited. I really wasn't the biggest fan of you in terms of the other dads. You were kind of like number three on my list, but now you're my brother. You're not a dad anymore. You're

You're my bro, bro. I hold my hand up for a high five for Peyton. And as I do so, I say, that means Peyton and I got another thing in common. We both fuck your mom. Yeah. Yeah. My mom? Are you talking about my Carol or my mom? Your mom, Daryl. Your mom. Your mom. I've called Carol. I feel like I'm... Never mind, bro. I'm...

I'm just sharing some brotherly humor, bro. I didn't actually fuck Carol. I got that. Look, guys, we can all razz Daryl later about who dorked his mom. It feels like a weird thing to razz me on right now. I feel like we've got a big bombshell on us. Like, okay, so I don't understand. How is Peyton your dad? So while you guys are discussing this, Grant comes over just so he can understand the way the plot works as well.

Sounds like plots happening over here. Hey, Grant. Let's all just sit down. I just sit down on the grass. Crisscross applesauce. Oh, I love that. Everyone form a circle. We got to play Duck, Duck, Goose? No, no, no. Didn't they have Duck, Duck, Goose in this world? How does Duck, Duck, Goose work in the Forgotten Realms? Well, first you take out your knife. No, I take away his knife. God damn it. I am your father and I get to decide whether I have a knife or not. As long as you're living in my house under my roof, I get to have a knife.

And Grant goes like, wait, what? Yeah, Grant, sorry. Yeah. OK, so maybe Aaron will have to come back and explain it if I don't do a great job. Aaron's around if you want her to. OK, well, Aaron, you just you know, you just let me know how I'm doing explaining all this. So it appears that this trophy is not actually the anchor.

It's actually Peyton. Peyton does finger guns. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Which means we'll have to destroy him to get back. Oh my gosh. Let's just put that off to the side for a second. Put a pin in that trophy or Peyton Peyton. And the other thing is it appears that Peyton is still Peyton, but he has my dad's soul in him.

Which I'm still kind of dealing with on a whole theological level right now. Yeah, that seems like that would violate some core tenets of your religious beliefs. That's a lot. I don't think there's anything specifically in, you know, Air Bud-esque, like nothing specifically in the Bible saying a soul can't be in somebody else. But it definitely isn't quite what I think. Jesus can't be in the child. John the Baptist flipping through the Old Testament. Ain't no rule says it can't happen.

But definitely different than I would imagine. So, Aaron, tell me if I'm right. If we destroy the anchor, Peyton will suddenly like get the memories of my dad. Like he'll become my dad in an actual, you know, mental and who are we? The collection of our experiences and our memories. Am I right? Unfortunately, Glenn has a good point. Yeah. No, I assume when Willie brought your dad's spirit to this realm, he locked away the memories permanently.

somehow and that if you destroy the trophy those will be unlocked and he'll remember who he was he'll still have the memories of also being paid and he'll just sort of also remember that he was your dad for you know 50 something years well that sounds great that sounds like a win-win you know you sort of yeah yeah you got the best of both dads so yeah i feel like you love payton you love your dad this feels like a win metaphysical i'm not

I'm not sure of the metaphysics, though. So will Peyton cease to exist? Yeah. Will Peyton, like, be both Peyton and what was your dad's name, Daryl? Frank. He'll be both Peyton and Frank sharing the same body? Frank and Peyton. He'll be the Frank and Peyton. I will be Frank and Peyton. Well, does Frank, your dad, does he look like a 40-pound 8-year-old?

No, not at all. He looks like a strong 220, six foot two, perfect man. Yikes. I get you're just describing me. I don't know why. Side note, I just cannot imagine what the prep for Anthony must be like thinking that's like, what if Anthony has to role play both an eight year old and the old dad dude? Like, man. I mean, that's what I have to do. Yeah.

As per usual, I get all the accolades for a job that a woman has been doing the entire time. Oh, man. Okay, this is a lot, and this is maybe the weirdest curveball we've had thrown at us yet on our adventure. So was Peyton like a pre-existing kid, and then he had these soul memories shoved into him?

Or is Peyton like a construct? I don't quite understand how that works. Erin kind of gets a grimace on her face and she puts her hands on Peyton's ears and Peyton's like, what are you doing? What are you doing? And she goes, Peyton's not a, like, he was never a real kid. He like, he's basically a homunculus made of confidence and,

and urine that really... Urine? That's why he doesn't pee. Remember, he absorbs it into his body. He absorbs all of his pee. Holy shit, he was telling the truth? As the Velveteen Rabbit teaches all of us, real isn't how you're made. It's something that happens to you. And I think there have been a lot of terrible things that have happened to all of us that I would describe if I were cool with slang as...

You're right, Ron. It does sound like that regardless of what the metaphysical implications are, there's just a couple of questions we have to answer right away, which is should we destroy this thing that's supposed to be the anchor, this bowl, or should we just hang on to it and kind of worry about the Franken-Baden situation later? There's also the element of like, I'm just thinking about this now, but like,

what's my dad going through? Like, was he dead? Like, was his soul, you know, in heaven? Like, yeah. How is he sucked out? Like, is he torment? Like what's going, how does Aaron, like, how's the soul work? Like what's, is he torturing? Like what's happening to him? I strongly doubt he's being tortured. If he just took your dad's soul, put it into a kid, uh,

And so the soul is pure and unburdened by the decades of memories that he had when he was in your realm. So his soul is pure. It's fine. It's unpaid. His memories were separated from him and put inside this trophy. I mean, Aaron, I'll be honest, Aaron. If you don't know the answer 100%, you can just say it. This seems pretty... Oh, yeah. I mean, I just wanted...

I hate letting you guys down when you have all these questions because you look so lost. We're in some big existential kind of stuff here. I don't know if any of us really know the answer. I mean, if anybody knew the answer of what happens after death, I mean...

So it's okay. I think we're all kind of... I'm just saying his soul's right there. Like, if you want to see how his soul's doing, like, look at Peyton. That's how his soul is doing. It's there. So you're saying that Peyton is the purified soul of Daryl's dad trapped in a piss boy. Well, you don't even call it a piss boy. I couldn't have put it better myself. Could not have put it better. Peyton's like, I mean, I kind of like piss boy. It's got a rig to it. I don't buy it.

I mean, Peyton, you're awesome. You know you're awesome. We're all aware of that. He's definitely nothing like my dad. I mean, I guess I didn't know my dad when he was eight. Yeah, your dad could have been a real Bart Simpson of a dad when he was not a dad yet. Maybe it's time for all of us to not have a cow about this. Daryl, I guess this is really up to you here. Do you think we should destroy this bowl or what?

I mean, I think, boy, guys, I sure have the luck, right? I was going to eat Grant's skin. Now, like, I got Kilpayton. So, like, we looks like we're just going to have to push that one down the hill a little bit and figure that one out. There's got to be some magic shit for that. Excuse my language, but it does sound like we should do a little bit of a

a little bit more sort of investigating and maybe talk to a philosopher of some kind before we make a decision. Look, this is a magic world. Maybe there's a Pinocchio loophole where we can extract your dad's soul and turn Peyton into a real boy. I mean... Right? Like, that's gotta be something you can do. I was gonna say, I think in terms...

Oh, what? I mean, like, he's a homunculus. I mean, he's a DH. He's a guy covering Bandsir. The word you're searching for is cool. He's a cool homunculus who was created, right? So maybe there's a way we could make him his own person and maybe, like, extract your dad's soul. Like, that's what I'm trying to get at. It's like...

Pinocchio, like, is a puppet. You gotta pay the toll troll to get out of the pool. That might be a thing, I guess. To me, it feels like... Aaron, is that a thing? I mean, it clearly is because it's what Willie did to your dad in the first place, essentially, but it's an incredibly powerful bit of daddy magic. You guys don't possess that kind of power. I would wager that other than Willie, nobody possesses that power to do that. Hmm.

But if you guys get some more daddy magic on your side, who knows what's possible? Maybe if we leveled up every now and then. Yeah, I think once you guys leave this area, you'll probably level up. I get that feeling about you. Well, I'm related to Willie, so let me just try to figure it out. All right, so I'm going to use my daddy magic here as a stepfather, and I'm going to just put my hand on Peyton's shoulders here. Hey, buddy. Hey, Ben. And then I'll say, frankly, my dear...

I don't have a Frank. Roll Arcana with disadvantage. Okay. That is a 10. So with a 10, you can tell that you just did nothing. Oh,

Of all the dads right now, I would say you probably have a higher than average amount of daddy magic because of what you and Terry Jr. have accomplished. But it's not enough to really do anything with just the power of wishing on Peyton right now. What a conundrum. Well, look, I feel like we need to keep our eyes and ears open for a way to solve this Peyton problem while we continue with our quest, right? And we're taking this bowl with us while we figure this out. Yeah, we can wrap them both in bubble wrap. Peyton too? Yeah, because they're both kind of fragile.

I mean, if what you're saying is right, Aaron, and like, you know, my dad's not suffering or anything. Like, I don't know. You know, honestly, I don't even think it's a decision an eight-year-old boy could make. No offense, Peyton. That take it? I don't think we need to destroy Peyton's brain right now either. Hey, Beholder. Yeah, what's up? Do you have like some bubble wrap or something? We want to preserve, make sure everything's all good. Like bubble wrap. You got any bubble wrap? No, we're a football. Sorry, we're a Glen Bowl stadium. We don't have.

Some pads then, some helmets. I have a bunch of like pads and stuff. Yeah. Yeah, give me just like a bunch of pads. Yeah, I've got a bunch of foam pads. Let me go get them. Wait a second. Wait a second. If Daryl's dad's memories are in the bowl, is there a way we can commune with the memories in the bowl? Because all I'm saying is that Daryl's dad, Frank, if he had an encounter with Willie, he may know something that could help us in our quest.

That's true. So, like, could we create another homunculus and put the memories of Daryl's dad into the homunculus and talk to Daryl's dad? Oh, man, I saw an anime about this. Oh, it doesn't end well. What if Peyton was a dog?

What if we just pour some Gatorade in there and drink it? Ron's right. If we pour Gatorade into the bowl and drink the bowl, will we be able to have some sort of communion with Daryl's dad's spirit? I know. I know. Okay, so hey, Mr. Mustache. Yes. Buenos dias. You know how when you're drinking some things and then you get a milk mustache and

Except that... A milk me, yes. Yeah, but if you're drinking something and you have an actual mustache, then the thing that you would get a milk mustache with goes on your actual mustache. So if I was drinking Gatorade with you on my face, that I would get Gatorade on my mustache, maybe you could talk to the Gatorade or something. Just sort of like sort it out. Just sort of think about maybe the power of dad that's in the Gatorade. I could attempt to commune with the aid, yes.

Glenn is like unscrewing and like pouring in various neon flavors of Gatorade into this bowl. Okay. All right, here. Yeah, Ron, drink it up. It's all the flavors. This is a suicide. Is it? Or graveyard. I forget what. It's different regionally, I guess. King's Cup. So Ron drinks the Gatorade. Okay, so I will have Mr. Mustache roll Arcana. Okay, so Mr. Mustache rolled an 18 on Arcana. So just Ron here is like...

Okay. All right. I'm getting notes. I'm getting flavor blasted. I'm getting Baja. I'm getting- Notes of electrolytes. Yeah. Oh, okay. What I'm getting is this typhoon, this tsunami of memories that just randomly swirl around with no agency, no intelligence directing them. It's just sort of a

big stew of memories that are hitting me. I see him playing football. I see him raising Daryl. I see him picking him up and cleaning his scraped knee with rubbing alcohol. I see him crying at the birth of his daughter. I see him with his wife. I'm just seeing a bunch of, just a whole life in one little sip of Gatorade, but it's fading now. Oh, okay. Wait, what did I say? So we just saw Ron drinks. Ron, did you see anything?

Yeah, I saw Frank with his wife. You saw Daryl's death? Yeah. What was he doing? I hold a hand for a high five for Ron. Ron high fives slowly. You just put your hand on his hand and slowly drag it down. Yes, clasp.

I feel like we could just have him in this bowl for us to lap up whenever we need, you know, to remember anything. Did you see anything about how he got taken by your dad? Did you see your dad? Let me roll again, because if you want, he can try to zero in on that stuff. Okay. Oh, he rolled badly anyway. Didn't see Willie. No, it just, it's so good times, you know? Well, can I, can I take a sip then? Be my guest. Yeah, absolutely. Here, here you go. Okay. Okay.

I go ahead and I take a sip. Okay, roll Arcana. I should have poured it over him like the end of a... I get plus zero. I got a seven. Okay, with a seven, you smell your dad's aftershave. You get a very strong sense memory. Cool.

of what it was like being around him as a kid. And that certainly stirs memories up for you, but you can't place the exact memories of your dads that are in here, but you definitely get a sense of like your dad's essence is connected to this thing. I put it down and, uh, I say, uh, yeah, that wasn't a good, I shouldn't have done that. Um, Oh dang man. Are you okay? Grant goes, are you okay, dad? I mean, that's a lot. I mean, no, obviously I smell my dad's aftershave. It's been a long time, you know, it took a while to get over it. Um,

Yeah, I don't know what to do here, gents. I got all these pads. I think we preserved this bowl with this this potion sort of like stew inside of it. That, by the way, according to Anthony, is probably the buffest potion in the history of D&D because this single potion should give everybody every buff that he said that you get because I canonically poured all the sports drinks into it, which are all the half.

So we're going to keep this motherfucker on standby. We're putting this on a fucking big gulp and we're getting ready to fucking chug this before every... Can we call it the big gulp? The big gulp. Yeah. We're going to keep this before every single fight we're about to go into for the end of time as far as I'm concerned because this is a little gift from the DM he forgot about. So just throwing that out there. You got Frankie's secret stuff. Frankie's secret stuff.

It's Frank's secret stuff now in this. So Glenn, like, you know, covers it up with, like, the football pads and, like, tapes around it so, like, you know, the liquid doesn't slosh with, like, athletic tape and writes Frank's secret stuff on it. No, it's great because that means the liquid's going to now slosh up and hit the, like, sweaty, like, crusty pads that have been used by people before. It's going to have a little extra dad stank on it when you drink from it next. Oh, no.

So then I stand up and I look at Aaron. So you say there's a chance that we can take the soul out of Peyton and we can keep Peyton around. Yes, there's definitely a chance because it's what Willie did. Then that's what we're going to. We're not getting rid of you, Peyton. And we're going to find a way to get my dad out of you. And you, you, your own. You are. Sorry. You may have been my dad, but you. Nice, Ron. Yeah.

I just like side ironic. You said something to say? No, no. Okay. A lot of laughter for a lot of stuff going on right now. That's cool. That's cool. I guess, you know, we all got to deal with this in our own way. We're going to find a way to do this. We're not killing you, Peyton. And we're going to, you know, I think you are your own person right now. And we're going to find a way to get my dad out of here and get back without, without taking you out. Dang. All right. Thanks for the bowl.

No problem, I guess. Assholes. Just don't come back. Why do you call us assholes? What the hell is that about? Because you made Glenbowl not fun to watch. Man, get out of here. We won your stupid-ass games. It's not our fault that your rules suck. I don't care about your video. Fragile baby. Big, dumb baby. Get out of here. Why don't you cry about your dad? I've been eavesdropping the whole time. I behold things. Carol. Carol.

Mr. Beholder, sir, this person is going through a lot right now and we don't appreciate you making fun of him for having emotions. That's called toxic masculinity. And we shall bid you good day. I'm more making fun of him for not having emotions. He's not reacting. Oh, well then you're going to dunk on him the second he does have emotions.

You know, maybe that's part of the vicious cycle of toxic masculinity is that, you know, men aren't allowed to cry. And then when they do cry, we're like, oh, don't cry. And then we're like, why are you, why do you suppress your emotions? Back off. That's my friend, Daryl. Back off. I run Glenbow. You came here looking for positive emotions and masculinity. You came to the raw.

This is why I never watch post-game shows. It's like, I'm like, what? Well, yeah, I felt a certain way when I did the thing. And we're like, yeah, we saw you do the thing. I want to have like a little like live, laugh, love poster that we sell now that just says, I bid thee toxic masculinity good day. So Peyton starts climbing up your body like it's a jungle gym. Daryl, and he goes, Daryl, Daryl. That's a line I'm going to use on somebody if quarantine goes on any longer. Ha!

Oh, what's up, Payton? He says, Daryl, come into my office. What's up? Are you sure about the... Because, look, I don't want to die, obviously. I can't die, probably. I'm sure it's like one of those natural laws. Sunsets, sun rises, Payton don't die, all that stuff. But she said that he took a soul out, right? And then he put the soul in me. And then put the memory somewhere else. And you shake it all about...

You do the hokey pokey and you turn into an eight year old. But that means there's only one soul going anywhere. You could duplicate the souls, maybe to make a second me or something, but it's either me or your dad. I don't know. I don't know. I'm just freaking, I'm a little, I'm a little freaking out. I'm freaking out a little bit. Yeah. And I don't, I don't want you to, to make any decisions on my, cause look, look, I love, I love you guys. I'm just saying, I love you guys. You guys are, you guys are like my group dad. Yeah.

You guys weren't supposed to be eavesdropping, but that's fine. Glenn wasn't eavesdropping. Glenn was just looking at his bowl of Frank's secret stuff and poking at it. Look, I think what I'm trying to do right now is not make a rash decision. I'll be honest, like the idea of like the little bit of memories I just had was a lot like it'd be great to talk to my dad. And, you know, I mean, you're an amazing kid. And if you happen to be my my big man, like, you know, at some point, that's that'll be awesome, too. But like you said, I don't know no matter what you are, you're a big guy.

You're the big kid. I know. Yeah. You know, if you feel like you want to just like dive in there and take these memories and then that's one thing. But otherwise, you know, we don't have to make that decision right now. It sounds like you might be a little freaked out, too. I'm a little freaked out. Yeah, I'm not. I'm not in a place where I'm super sure if I want it or not. Yeah. I feel like you guys know best. You're my dad's essentially. So whatever you decide is best, even if it makes me your dad.

Man, this is weird. Yeah, it is, right? Dads aren't dads, man. Hey, it's okay to not be sure about what you want to do right now. I think we got three other anchors we got to find. We got plenty to do. And, you know, I think we got a lot to learn still. And, you know, whatever happens, you know, I'll be there for you and we'll figure this thing out. But this does mean that Peyton gets inked

Hey, Ron, Peyton didn't want you to hear what he was talking about. It's too late now. No, I heard it, though. All right. All right, everybody, jump in. Yeah, no, I'm not going to jump in. I'm going to talk from over here, just listening to you, bro, and then you, my dad, bro.

My uncle bro? I don't think we're brothers, it's just Willie's a dick and I know him. Yeah, bro, anyways, what I was saying is that because we're all bros and because we're all dads, Peyton gets a free invite to any and all dad huddles from here on out. Oh, fuck yeah. That does check out. That unfortunately does check out. That's true, that's true. I guess you're in dad huddles now, Peyton. Hell yeah, hell yeah. Am I going with you on every adventure or do you want me to stay behind now? Whoops. Let me ask you this.

And I hold up the knife. I was like, can you handle this like an adult now? Because you're an adult. Uh-huh.

His mouth water is like, I can handle it. Yeah. Wipes his mouth. I'm your dad. How does Glenn feel about that? Let me ask you a question, Peyton. Just a hypothetical. Let's say you had this knife out. You were carving, you know, something with a twig, you know, making it sharp, making a little sharp stick for yourself. Real sharp. And Glenn walks past you and kind of leans down to tie his shoes. And you see his nice ankles there without any protection. What would you do? Oh, they're calling to me.

What would you do? And I'm holding it. I'm like looking at, huh? He's going to make a wisdom roll. So he goes, is he hiccuping?

Yes. Let's say I am. Either way, why is that relevant? Because it was just to scare him and cure his hiccups. So what I would do is I would very calmly put the knife down. I would walk over to him and then I would take the sharpened thing that I've been sharpening with the knife and I would stab him in the head to cure him of his hiccups. I wouldn't be using the knife. I've grown.

It's one step forward and two steps back. I fold the knife. I go, how dare you? How dare you? Out of spite, I'm just going to throw myself off a cliff now. Oh, my gosh. No, you're not, Aiden. I'm going to break that supper bowl over my knee and then get all the authority that I have to talk about your embarrassing poopies that you did as a child. I'm going to tell all your friends about it. Okay, baby. I think it's clear that you're not ready for this knife right now. How dare you? I fold it up. This summer, Instacart presents famous summer flavors coming to your front door.

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Folks, I think we've done all we could here. Are we just still sitting on the field? It's empty because everyone's left. I think it's time to skedaddle out of this stadium. And we should probably get going. We kind of got what we came for. Hey, Grant, did you want to say bye to Yeet or anything? You say that to Grant and he's looking for Lauren Lee at the entrance to the locker rooms that the hotties went into. And he kind of just turns around and goes, no, I think I'm good. No, okay. Hey, hotties. Uh...

A good game. Oh, we got to do the high fives and stuff, though. Yeah, we simply didn't do the high five. I'm going to read the room. It didn't seem like they were super into high fiving us when they left. I think, you know, I think with this one time we could kind of, you know, maybe the beholder goes like, oh, they didn't do the high five thing. Do you want me to bring them out? I can bring them out for the high five. Well, the only thing is, I would say, Henry, we could give them we could give them some money. They seem like they really were trying to get money.

for important, you know, like for their family and stuff. That checks out. That checks out. We could do that. Yeah, we could. Man, what a good guy. Grant, do you think we should maybe do that? I'll probably just go get a Mountain Dew. Okay, cool. Dad huddle. Okay. Peyton immediately jumps in and goes, guys, I'm loving it. Ha ha ha.

I'm feeling the energy. I could get used to this. Good to have you here, bro. I just want you to understand that in this dad huddle, I'm hoping that the responsibility of being in a dad huddle will help you kind of, you know, grow up a little bit. Yeah. Because nobody in this dad huddle would stab anybody else with a stick. With anything. I mean mugging Peyton the whole time. I'm hoping that your expectations get a little bit lower and that we all end up sort of happy with where I currently am.

So we'll just sort of see how that plays out. How about you guys go ahead and get the money to the hotties over there, and then I'm going to go talk to Grant. Is that cool? Sure, sure, sure. How much are we thinking? Was there a prize money? What did we get? I don't know. What, like 40 gold? How does this work here? Hey, Beholder, how much do you normally get if you win the money? How much do you normally get? Hundo gold. Sure, why not? Hey, Beholder, how much does a house cost in this world? Pretty solid house cost. What kind of guy are you looking for?

I'm a realtor on the side. Something with a nice school district, like around here, like three bedrooms, you know. In Balls Deep, a three bedroom will set you back about 600 gold. Markets on a rise. It's definitely a buyer's market right now. Usually averages around 2,500, but economy's not been great. Okay, so like this is... That doesn't sound like a good business decision. Okay, I mean, it seems like we have enough money. So yeah, let's give it to them.

Seems only fair. I did lose a lot of money already on betting on the wrong teams. We still got the second main things. We still got plenty of stuff. Like, I don't think we're, we have not. All right. Yeah. Let's, we'll go kick him some gold. You know, Daryl's hanging back with Grant. Is that what's going on? Yeah. I was going to go talk to Grant over there. He looks, I just look, he's just walking across the field. I'm assuming. Yeah. Charlie Brown music playing. It said the beholder goes. Everybody back out on field for the high five bar. You didn't do the high five bar. That's bad sportsmanship. You know, I hate that shit. Come on. Come on. All the hotties come back out.

The shark sadly flapping around irritatedly, like bumping his nose against this glass and his astronaut helmet and stuff like that. And Yeet is leading the team with his hand out, just rolling sadly past you guys. He goes, good game. Good game. Good game. Hey, Yeet, man, you're a champion. Don't let this keep you down, buddy. Good game, guys. Good game. Ron goes through and says, pleasure doing business with you. Pleasure doing business with you. Pleasure doing business with you. Are you handing like a business card to everyone? Yeah. Yeah.

For sure. So when we get to the end of the line, Henry's like, hey, guys, come over here a second. We feel real bad. You're like, this was about, you know, this quest that we're on, but we know you guys are doing this for like some real reasons too. So we wanted to give this to you. And I hand him like the bag full of the money. So he takes it into his hands, weighs it, hands it to Killa. And she's like,

That's a lot. That's the normal prize money. It's like we just, it's like we would have won anyway. And Needs says like, yeah, but it's not. We didn't win. We lost. That stings more than anything. I don't know if I'd take failure money. Yeah, we could do that thing where like we put our hands up and form an arch and you guys like run under it.

What would that change? We still lost. But then it would be like 2, 4, 6, 8. You know, who do we appreciate? You guys. Look, we do that when we beat the other team. And every time I feel like, oof, this is condescending. They got to know we don't really appreciate them. They got to know we disrespect them in their own house. That's a good point.

I was always so disingenuous as a kid. I totally forgot that that was a thing. Man, I'm stung by that. Like, like literally I survived without remembering that for years and years. I remember one year my soccer team was so bad that we won like in the entire league best sportsmanship, which I'm like, this is a way of saying that we were the most gracious losers. We all knew it. We all knew it. We're at the pizza party being like, this is, this sucks, right? It's like, you know, who's never won the best sportsmanship, the winning team. So you know it's a bullshit trophy.

By the way, how obnoxious would that be? It's like they win champion and also they win best sportsmanship. By the way, by definition, they are the most improved. Like they were pretty good and then they won the whole thing. By definition, they won it. So they must be pretty good. Fucking A. So like, yeah. Sorry, I don't know what to tell you. We don't really have like sportsmanship trophies or anything like that, but we do have money, which is actually better than a trophy if you think about it. How about this? How about you keep your money? You keep your failure money, but in return...

we get a rematch at a time and place of our choosing. You got it. Deal. That sounds like good business. And a different sport that's better on podcasts. So you're saying that we'll, we'll yeet again. Wow. Don't know where, don't know when. Don't you forget about yeet. He says, yeah, one day at some time, we'll come back with our best two out of three match.

Maybe not when you expect it, but definitely when you need it. I like the thing that he leads the team off and as he's going off the football field, he puts his hand up, his fist up, and it freeze frames. Just he freeze frames that the other four members of the team continue going into the locker room. And they're like, this movie doesn't hold up well. Yeah, so there's some problematic stuff about femininity. Glenn getting to keep all the money silently fist bumps and says, sucker. Yeah.

So Glenn goes back to Daryl and was like, yeah, he took the money. It was weird. Grant is walking to the Mountain Dew machine and pressing the button and no soda is coming out. And he just starts hitting the machine lightly at first and then harder and harder and harder. And then at a certain point, it becomes obvious it's not about getting the soda. I go, hey, I don't think. Let me try. Let me let me try my dollar bill. Is this dollar bill machine? How does this taste? Cool coins here. Let's let's sit down. But I don't think we need a soda right now. Yeah. OK. And he sits down.

I sit down next to him. Hey, uh, grandkiddo, you want to, you want to tell me what happened last night? Uh, yeah, I hung out with Yeet and, uh, yeah, no, I just didn't, it wasn't, it, meh. He's not, uh, not, not for, uh, not for, not for me. I'm good. I'm, it's, uh, we're fine. I'm sorry, kid. Yeah, no, it's good. I'm fine. How are you? Are you, are you, are you, there's a lot going on with your dad, your, your whole thing, and Peyton. That's weird. How are you? Yeah, I mean, you can, you can tell there's a lot.

A lot going on right there. Look, I mean, we can, you know, I'll tell you what you want if you want to hear something from me. But, you know, I'm here for you and I want to, you know, it's been wild and there's been a lot going on. And, you know, I'll just say that personally, I feel like I've seen a change since...

since that fortnight where you went into the i don't know what they call it but that big bird thing was pretty wild chimera yeah um you know i only thought of that because uh you know i i went hunting with my dad and i shot an animal and i and i know that was uh you know it was a little tough it was mostly just you know kind of really the first experience i had with death um but yeah you haven't been in the same since then it's been it's been tough that we haven't had the time to talk and you know we got the time right now so i just want to know what's going on with you

So you said, actually, role perception.

15. So with a 15, you notice that when you said, oh, it was a little hard and you play off the hunting incident, he kind of looks away with an air of irritation. And he goes, no, it's, yeah, no, it was a little hard. Well, hey, look, when I was saying I wasn't trying to compare, my point was I was trying to say that I think if I went through what you did, I don't know how I would have been. I would have wanted to talk to my dad about it.

Because my dad was there for me when I shot, you know, my first animal. And, you know, maybe it's just all things considered, it was a learning experience for me. And I can't quite remember exactly what it was like back then. But, you know, it was hard. But I think it was a little hard because I got to talk to my dad about it. Yeah.

So I, you know, I want you to know that you can talk to me and I want to hear what what happened. So his irritation turns into something kind of like he just like kind of scowls and like closes his eyes and just rubbing his forehead. He's like, what does hard look like to you even? What does that mean? I saw you vomit and shit. I saw you learn that your dad is all that. And like, it just doesn't it seems like water off of like a off of a.

I don't know. I don't even know what I'm saying. A duck. Thanks, Glenn. Back of a duck. That's what... Okay, all right. Sorry. Just counting money. No, it's good. It's good. Glenn comes back over to the bush where Ron and Henry are hiding. He's like, how's it going? Did you buy the duck thing? Look, I mean, what's hard for me? I mean, no, this is hard, but, you know, I'm...

you don't have to judge what you're feeling based off of, of how I'm feeling. You know, when you grow older, things are, things are a little different and you know,

I might feel things a little less than I used to because of, you know, just things that have happened in my life. And I don't think just because you see me act a certain way doesn't mean that that's the correct way to act. And this has definitely been hard and it's, it's, you know, and I wish I, there, if there's people around or if your, your, your mom was here, you know, I would, I would talk to her. But I'm, I'm honestly just trying to get through all this and get us back home safe. So I don't want you to be looking at me to think like that's the way we're

Don't worry about how I'm feeling in terms of knowing how you're feeling. That's why I'm here to talk to you about it. Roll persuasion. That's a five. Okay. By the way, Glenn, off in the distance, is noodling around on the guitar and is like singing Cat in the Cradle and hopefully is giving our good friend Daryl here a little bardic inspiration from afar. Bardic inspiration from what, D4? One D8 that he can choose to add.

Oh, D8. All right, so I rolled a six, so that would still only be an 11. It's like in Little Mermaid when they sing to her while they sing to the prince. It's like, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh,

Tell you what, Grant, I'm not gonna force you to talk to me. It's, it's, you know, I, I trust you and your deal. You're obviously dealing with a lot and, and I know I can't push you, but I am worried that maybe I'm, I'm worried that maybe I'm not doing this the right way for you to feel open. So I'll tell you what, if you, if there's anything you want to ask me,

I will tell you honestly, I will tell you the truth because I'm always going to tell you the truth. And when I'm not telling you things, it's, it's, I'm not trying to lie and I'm not even trying to avoid it. I'm just doing what I think is, is best and trying to protect you from certain things right now. But maybe that's, it's not doing it. Um, and my dad always talked to me. So if there's something that's holding you back, you know, ask me and I'll tell you anything. Uh, roll persuasion again.

That one is 17. So with 17, he scratches his cheek and he cocks his head and he says, okay. So when I was talking to Yeet the other night, he said something that I wanted to ask you about. He said that he was feeling like he couldn't feel anything, like there was nothing. But when he was in certain situations...

he would feel something and it would make him be like, Oh cool. I'm here. Like I'm real. And that was, uh, kind of scary to him. And he didn't, and he didn't really feel like he could talk to anybody about it. Cause nobody else knew how it felt to feel that way. And I was like, yeah, my dad definitely has never felt that way. I feel like, and like, have you ever, has that ever, I don't know. It's stupid. I don't, you know what? Forget it. No. I mean, to feel like,

or that you can't say anything to anybody? Like, yeah, like there's not, like you're not there. Like you were there and now you're not. That's like a thing that Yeet has.

Yeah, I mean, I can't I can't speak to to you. But like, of course, I think that's something that everybody like. I mean, you look I mean, one of the greatest regrets I have is like you never got to meet your grandpa. And, you know, I don't know if you ever know exactly how, you know, you've heard some stories about how you're and you're your mom and your dad got together. But, you know, there's a reason why your dad never graduated college. Like it was hard when my dad died. I didn't know how to handle it.

Um, he died, you know, he had cancer and he was slipping away. He had brain cancer and I didn't want to go to college. Um, but you know, he told me he was strong and he was going to make it. And when I was there freshman year, um, he went back to work. He wasn't supposed to go back to work, but I think he was just tired of being stuck inside. And, um, he had, you know,

He shouldn't have been there. And he slipped and he wasn't ready and he died. And I wasn't there. And I told my mom I didn't want to go to college. And yeah, I mean, I was shut down. I didn't know how to feel for the longest time. And that's it's normal. I think there's a lot of things that happen to people. They don't know how to feel. I don't know what's happened to you. This world's crazy. I mean, there's like people are going into slavery when they're young kids. So, God, I can't even imagine what's happened to you. But when did that go away? When did you?

When did you stop feeling like that? I mean, your mom. I mean, that's why we're together. Oh, and he immediately starts crying, not sobbing, but just like tears streaming down his face just immediately. I grab him and tears start going down Daryl's face too. I go, yeah, it's, you know, she's, she's the best woman in the world. She knew. And, you know, honestly, sometimes I feel like, you know, if I feel like I'm not good enough, I wonder sometimes maybe she just stays stuck here because she was, I shouldn't say like, you're too young for that. But yeah,

Your mom loves me very much and I love her very much. And yeah, she's the reason I got, I got through it and it's, you know, it's never gone, which is why right now I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should talk to my dad or, or, you know, the fact that he could be here in some reason, but yeah,

Look at a life's never going to get easier. Life isn't easy. But as long as you got people around that love you and I love you, you know, you'll be able to get through it. You just got to hang on to the positive stuff. Grant nods at you and doesn't wipe the way it's here. Thanks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love you, too. Yeah.

Hey, you want to, you mind if I just, you want to just like stay here and just like, like, I'm kind of like crying too. It's like, you want to just like cry for a little bit? I don't want to, I think Glenn or definitely Ron would make fun of us. I'm going to cry. Okay. Wait, are we still behind the bush? I was going to say, you hear a massive, snotty, teary, and then you hear Henry go, fuck. I roll my eyes. I go, God damn. I did not want Henry to hear all this. Hey, Henry, you want to come cry too?

It's so beautiful. And then Henry just bursts into tears and hugs Daryl. Sorry, I'll just, I'll be quick, I'll be quick. And I just hug Daryl. I'm like, I love you, man. I'm so happy for you two. I'm going to go away now. And then Henry loves him. You hear like a sob choked Ron, like sort of like say, I would not make fun of this. Oh, thanks, Ron. Hey, Ron, you know, I don't know if we are brothers, but like you are my brother. You know what I mean?

I put my fist out. Glenn's just at the 20-yard line, just like throwing the ball to nobody and kind of trying to wipe his eyes, but he's just like throwing the ball and just like picking the ball. He's just like, just practicing. Just practicing, man.

You know what I think we need? And I pull out the magical barbecue that we haven't ever used. I think we should just grill up. Grant, you hungry? Yeah, no, I'm always hungry. Yeah, I would eat. Hell yeah. What's your favorite steak? T-bone. T for Grant. Hey, you guys want to go get a... What? What?

You guys want to go get some steaks and we'll cook these up? Sure. No, I mean everybody else. I was going to say, hey guys, can you just all run off and get food real quick? I'm just going to say a quick thing to Grant. Yeah, for sure, for sure. Come on guys, let's go get some. You guys drink all the time in the world, bro. We'll go throw some gold at some of the people tailgating. Hopefully they're not too pissed at us for making their sports, which sucks. All right, yeah, you know, but

We're going to go find like a local farmer's market or something and get some nice grass fed beef. So I feel a little less bad about it. And we'll get some organic veggies. Yeah. You know, maybe you guys could finally try couscous. Maybe they have couscous here. And I've been dying for you guys to try couscous. Let's go. We could do asparagus, right, Henry? Oh, yeah. And then our people smell great. Girls. Henry, I would mean to ask you, what's the deal with asparagus? The big ones are bad, but the small ones are good.

It's all about how you roast them, Glenn. You got to get a little olive oil on there, a little salt, a little pepper. There's this great website called Bon Appetit, and I'm pretty sure nothing bad has happened there since we've been in the Percon Grounds. And then it trails off as we go looking for food. I just go, hey, Grant, you know, sorry everybody kind of showed up. I just want you to know, it doesn't have to be fixed right now. And if you ever want to talk again and you just need me to be there, like,

this is not a one-time thing okay okay hey i love you i love you too i i i appreciate it all right let's let's go uh i don't want to eat nothing but couscous let's kind of get over there and i don't want to i don't want to yeah yeah we got some red meat so let's do this thing so i walk off and i follow them i put my arm around his shoulder too his shoulders tense up but he doesn't oh you too old you too old for your big man you're a very big man i try to hold his hand oh do you want to hold you want to hold your head that's even worse

All right, piggyback ride. Don't even tell him. I grab him and throw him up on my shoulder. No, no. Eagle, come on, put the eagle. I start sprinting with him. No, and the second you start sprinting with him, Yeet Bigly comes back out of the locker rooms. Oh, no. And he goes, dad, dad, dad, no, no, no, no, put me down. Dad, no, no, no, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad. I can't put down a champion. I start sprinting. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

He just face palms with both of his hands as you just spin him around. He goes like, I'm, we can never come back here, dad. Dad, we can never come back. I can't hear him because I think I'm screaming too loud. But then I stopped right there. I was like, oh, wait, did he actually want to talk to Yeet? No, I, it's just, I didn't want him to seem, oh. Do you want me to go back or should I keep going this way? Just keep going. Keep going and do not look back. Okay. I started running after everybody again. Okay.

It's gonna be alright, it'll be alright, cause that's just life. Even if you die, it'll be alright. It's gonna be alright, it's gonna be alright, cause that's just life. All you do is try, it'll be alright.

We'll be right back.

The theme song and outro is All Right by Maxton Waller. This show, by the way, is supported by a Patreon full of people who put all you freeloaders on their back. So if you do see them on the street, give them like an appreciative nod. People like Eric Whitworth, who, as I am told, is 20,000 leagues under the sea right now. Play Gono, Eric Ortiz, Holger Andersen, Connor Alexander Bevins, Brez Fez, Pete Whitehead.

Rila Blue, Craig Elder, Jonathan Knapp, and Dobton. We got a big old list of bonus content we're working on at the moment. We have the Rocks Rock EP, which we've been talking about, and it should be wrapping up in the next few weeks or so. We're probably going to give you a little taste of that madness on this podcast, so keep out in the air for that. We have a Walter and Payden adventure where Anthony will play Walter and Payden and the rest of us will be some sort of Hydra DM. We have a Star Wars adventure. It's just

Just a whole slew of good gumbo cooking. And when that stuff comes out, it'll go to all of our Patreon supporters at every level. And that's on top of the boatloads of bonuses Patreon supporters already have access to. If you want in on this action, that's at patreon.com slash dungeonsanddads. But let's say you don't want in on that action. That's fine, I guess. Head on over to dungeonsanddaddies.com. Get in on that merch action instead. We just restocked a bunch of pins and stickers. The You Are Enough As You Are pin is also back in stock.

And we were able to make a nearly $2,000 donation over to NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, because of the sales of that pin. So check out the store, check out our Twitter at Dungeons and Dads, and check out our subreddit at r slash Dungeons and Daddies. By the way, this episode title comes from another podcast called Talking Sons. It's a Dungeons and Daddies fan cast. They even occasionally have us on as guests. They talk about episodes as they come out. So if you're looking for a way...

to fill a daddy-shaped hole in your heart, check out Talking Sons. They're a podcast. You can Google it. You're old enough to figure that out. Next episode's coming at you July 21st. We will see you then.

As the sun sets over the town of Balls Deep, you share a nice meal and somebody tells a stupid joke and Grant permits himself. What's the stupid joke? All right, Glenn, go. Glenn goes like, hey, guys, this is a good one for the kids. Yeah. How old are you again, Grant? I'm 12. Yeah, you'll like this one. Why does Ariel from The Little Mermaid wear seashells?

I don't know. It's because B shells are too small and D shells are too big. Yeah, no, I get it. Do you get it? Grant just grimaces like, oh, that's gross. But even that Daryl can notice is more emotion that he's that more something positive that he's expressed. It's

At least it's something. There's clearly another joke that somebody else told that wasn't that bad that he laughed at is what you're saying. Yeah, maybe. It's a good joke. What do you mean? It's because it's like a joke. It's a classic joke, man. It's a good joke. I don't think that bee shells are too small. No, he's saying four. Yeah, man slain the titty joke to bed. All right.

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