Ep. 3 - The Lord of Chaos
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See store for details. Dungeons and Daddies is a rowdy, horny, violent podcast for grown-ups. Content warnings can be found in the episode description. Hey, Glenn, what do you got going on there? A little music for the road? Yeah, man, check this out. On a dark desert highway Four dads lost their boys When the van they were riding Got sucked into a void

Oh, okay. That's all I think about. I believe it was Bartholomew.

♪ Moaned up that one ♪ Yeah, we sure did. ♪ When we killed his son ♪ I did not kill. I put on the manly, manly bracelet. ♪ Now we're on the road to Neverwinter ♪ ♪ And on the gates they've hung ♪ ♪ A doodler drawn by Henry's sons ♪ ♪♪

Welcome to Dungeons and Daddies, not a BDSM podcast. This is a real play D&D podcast where four dads from our realm are flung into the Forgotten Realms on a quest to rescue their lost sons. My name is Freddie Wong and I play Glenn Close, rock and roll cover band dad. Little fact about Glenn Close.

I've mentioned this to my friends here, but I want to mention this to everybody out there listening, especially those of you who work at guitar companies. Glenn Close plays a guitar of indeterminate brand and origin, and it will be determined as such. And whenever said guitar company will contact me at F Wong about what guitar they want Glenn Close to play by sending me that guitar. Guess what? That's canonically what Glenn Close will play. So right now he plays an acoustic. It could be any type of acoustic. Gibson, Taylor, Fender. I'm looking at you.

You too could have a guitar owned by a character who is maybe the worst dad in the entire group. Who lets his kids smoke pot and hasn't been around for the past 20 years. It's everything that Gibson brand aspires to. I'm Henry Oak, played by Will Campos. I should have said that the other way. Fun fact about Henry, he's a granola munching, sandal wearing, Birkenstock dad. And his favorite TV show is the cult classic TV program known as Bones. Bones!

Featuring forensic anthropologist Dr. Temperance Bones Brennan and cocky FBI special agent Celie Booth. He can't get enough bones, this guy. How come the FBI agent's nickname isn't Joe FBI? Wouldn't that be more in line with the dumb naming convention in that show? David Boreanaz deserves more respect. With a neck that big. Oh my God. What?

If David Boreanaz ever listens to this podcast. I'm so sorry. David Boreanaz. Wait, hold on, guys. David Boreanaz. I'm so sorry. I'm a huge fan. Like, it's not. Don't laugh about it. I really love you. Anytime David Boreanaz wants to come on this podcast, he's welcome to. Yeah. All the sponsors out there who can get me, David Boreanaz of indeterminate origin. Yes.

Hey, what's up? I'm Beth May. I play Ron Stampler. And the fun fact about Ron, he thinks that a hug is a type of dog. Oh, my God. My name is Matthew Arnold, and I play Daryl Wilson, a stay-at-home sports dad. And fun fact is my favorite TV show used to be Bones, but then the sixth season when they backdoor pilot The Finder...

I really enjoyed that show. I thought it was a little more macho, but still upset that they canceled it after only six episodes. I thought that was a house spinoff. No, The Finder is a bone spinoff. What? Yeah. Why the fuck do you guys know so much about bones?

Join us next week for Beth May's Bones Fan Podcast. Sounds like Daryl and Henry are going to have some bones talk to do on this episode. We're going to have to organically find a way to get bones to show up during the podcast. God. I think we got a DM. Just a second. I got to write down bones. Just in case this is something I need to care about later on.

God, I hope I don't have to care about it later on. It's a good show. I don't want to watch it. I don't like procedurals. So I'm Anthony Birch. I'm the daddy master. And, uh, I guess a fact about this game is that after we recorded our, uh, unaired pilot, which you may get to listen to one day, uh,

Beth was very proudly like, I think my guy voice is so good. No one will know that a girl is playing Ron Stampley. She was like genuinely super proud of herself. And as you can now tell, it is basically the exact same as Beth's. I think the way she described it is actually she said, I was like, I was a little concerned that maybe people wouldn't know there was a girl on this podcast.

Is my voice too good? Is it too convincing? Should we introduce the show by saying just make sure everybody knows there is a girl in this podcast because nobody will be able to tell. Yeah, I'm still a little bit worried. You guys will cut this out. People will never know. It's me, Ron. Welcome to episode three, The Lord of Chaos.

All right. So to briefly summarize where we last left our intrepid daddies, you had just sort of driven away from what is, to be completely frank, a side quest with a fairy dragon and his kids, and you found a way to sort of make things okay, even though you murdered one of the kids.

But you basically gave him two golden rules. That was a solid draw, I think. Yeah. Yeah, I'd say you left his life exactly as good as it was when you first met him. I think we might have defended the institution of dragon slavery. I'm not sure. Slightly. You kind of left it up to them. It's not enough to figure that one out. Either way, you finally made it to the city of Neverwinter and...

And to your great surprise, upon the drawbridge leading into the city, you saw a very large banner that clearly depicted the doodler, which is the mascot for West Rock Elementary's sports team. And more importantly, was initially drawn and conceived by Henry Oak's kids, Lark and Sparrow. I'm so proud of those two beautiful boys. I'm so excited for them that their work is finally getting so much recognition. Have we established canonically what the hell the doodler is?

No. I don't think we should. Yeah. The only thing I know is that Darren Wilson definitely does not like the doodler and thought the school should be called the Grizzlies, and he drew his own really buff grizzly bear icon, and every time he sees the doodler, it annoys him. So that's all I know. So it's on the drawbridge. Is that right? There's a banner. Basically, you can see that there's a big old banner that is hung...

in front of what presumably was the city's original banner that you can still sort of see behind it. That's like orange and gold. So they didn't bother taking it down. No, they were just like, man, we're just going to put this on top of this for a while. That's environmental storytelling, baby.

Guys, look at that doodler banner. They just put it over the original one. They must have done it rather quickly. Do you think this just happened? I don't know. I'm just still getting over the shock that they know what the doodler is. Yeah, tell me about it. As you guys are talking, one of the parapets above the drawbridge, a guard, a human guard, sort of peeks over the side and goes, who goes there? Merrill Wilson! Yeah.

Hello, you've got some gentlemen looking for their sons. Are we in the car? Stepsons. And stepsons. Are we in the car? I think we are in the car. Who's in the front? I'm driving. You're driving. And then we'll say that Henry's sitting riding shotgun. Yeah. What manner of beast is this? It's a... It's... I look at Henry Oak and I give him a sign to come up with something. It is an Odessy of Honda. It...

A white beast from many a league fanbase.

Far from here. From the land of the rising sun. From the land of the rising sun. It has mighty circular wheels for feet and can carry many a soldier. But don't worry, it's dead. Do you have hermit crabs where you are? No, what is that? It's like a hermit crab. This was from the ocean. It's like a dead shell. Yes, the shell of a mighty beast that we warriors slayed and now we use it as our means of conveyance. Yeah, it protects you from rain. You guys have rain. Ha ha ha!

Yeah, we have rain, you dick. It lets us travel and protect us from rain and sun. Just because we don't have hobo crabs doesn't mean that we don't have rain. So, yeah, it's just the shell of a dead beast. Go ahead and roll persuasion. That's a one. One? Yeah, the one. I'm going to try to assist. Minus one, zero. It doesn't matter if you assist. You fucked up too bad. Okay.

He shouts, Alaro! And four more guys appear on the parapets with crossbows aimed at the Honda Odyssey. I roll up the windows, by the way. Hey, guys, don't we have those spare soccer jerseys? Seeing as they got this thing up there, maybe we put it on and say that we're, you know. Good call, good call, good call, good call. Let's pass out those jerseys. They're all kid sizes, though. Who's the smallest of us?

Definitely not me. I flex. I'm maybe 5'4 and 120-ish pounds. Oh, you're so small. That's not the small part of me, though.

Oh, my God. All right, so I guess it's Ron. But only because I'm wearing the T-shirt on my torso am I the smallest person to wear this small thing. Right, sure, sure. If it weren't on my torso, you'd have to get an extra extra large. Dad huddle. Ron, sit over there. Real dad huddle. Real dad huddle.

What do you mean? We'll be right back. We'll be right back, Ron. Put that shirt on. Put that shirt on. Just put the shirt on and hum to yourself. Is Ron saying that he has a big wiener or a small wiener? I can't tell. I have a huge wiener and a tiny little bunny.

Like a disproportionate wiener, man. It's something that we're definitely going to have to find out, though. Okay. Let's table this conversation and get back to the task at hand. Ron, how's the shirt coming along? It actually fits pretty good. I wore it on my torso. I definitely think it's good that only one... We don't all need to go out with a doodler shirt, just in case. I'm not saying they will shoot you. I'm just saying that it's probably good that one of us steps out with a doodler shirt. I think Ron is the best man for the job ever.

Because he's the smallest target. But the biggest in some ways, am I right? I wink at Ron. Yes, yes, this is great, this is great. I step out of the van. I say, good luck, big boy, and I give you a slap on the butt as you get out of the minivan. You reach way over.

to get that butt slap in. Awkwardly. Hey, Darryl. Is that thing where that seatbelt stops me? Darryl. Is she trying to graze him lightly with the tip of a finger? That's way worse. Hey, Darryl. Darryl. Yo. Yo. What's up, Glenn? I'm trying to talk like you. Hey, Darryl. Maybe honk the horn and freak them out so they don't shoot at our boy Ron. I don't know if in a tense situation honking horn is the best option, but yeah, fuck it. Burn!

All right, roll intimidation. Let's hope this goes better than the perception roll. 15 plus one, that's a 16. There we go. So you see the guards go, and they all sort of step back and they lower their crossbows for just a second. And just as they're about to raise them, they see Ron Stampler walk out wearing the doodler shirt. And the first guard, the one that would initially call to you, gasps audibly and says, another emissary? That can't be right.

What are you? Who are you? Ron Vamp. You wouldn't know. I mean, have you heard of me? I am the best dancer from my high school prom. And if you shot arrows, you wouldn't even be able to hit me.

So don't even deal. I put the car in reverse. Just getting ready. I'm frantically putting on a doodler shirt that I found in the backseat to try to get out there and help Ron out. Okay. I shake my head like, no, I got this. It's going really well. It's going really well for me, Dad. All right. Roll persuasion. 16. So the guards all sort of exchange glances and they go like,

He's even weirder than the other two. All right. I assume they'll want to see this one, too. Lower the drawbridge. The other two? Were there two? There were two others. Lower the drawbridge! Okay, I think that might be my boys. They were scared to see the doodler of dance. All right, Ron, you should get back in here. I think we should all put on doodler shirts. Okay, everyone stuff on them doodlers. Do we have to roll to put on these shirts? Okay.

I got natural 20. So you guys watch me. It's like, you know, those YouTube videos where like some lady like shows you how to like fold a shirt in one motion. That happened. But onto me, like somehow I just the biggest boy, the biggest boy, like how that happened. Really? It's not only is it form fitting. It's like, damn, it looks like you lost like 5 pounds.

You look like one of those. You ever see like the buff ref at a football game? Like the tailored to their bicep ref shirt. Like Anderson Cooper in a war zone. It's like my tummy fat gets pushed up to my pecs in just the right way. Like it looks buff. I'm like, damn, this shirt's feeling good. Looking good too, Daryl. Thanks, Ron. I'm big in some places too, you know what I mean? And I wink.

Yeah, your pecs are great. Thanks, that's what I meant. Gun roll for Fitz. I got an 11. I don't know what I add to that, but I feel like... You put it on, it rips in the back, but you can still, it's still on your torso. Okay, good, sweet. So like, you're kind of wearing it. What does a seven get me? A seven gets you nothing. You can't even fit inside of it. I'm gonna leave it off. I'm gonna stick with my Harley Davidson jacket. I just want to say, I do think Daryl looks in the mirror of the van and like...

He likes the way he looks for the first time in a long time. Wow. He's just like, all right, I do pretty good. It's like a men's warehouse with the Doodler shirt. You're going to like the way he looks. Henry notices Daryl Myron himself. He's like, hey, Doodler's not such a bad mascot after all, am I right? I start the car. All right, do you guys drive into the city? Yeah.

Yeah, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. The previous city that you were at, Phandalin, was pretty cool. You know, you saw some things you'd never seen before. You saw bipedal dragonborn and all that kind of stuff, but this is on a complete other level. This is like if somebody took New York City and made it Lord of the Rings-ified, essentially. You see man-sized snakes slithering around on not legs, but just like, you know, whatever the part of a snake is that you consider to be their legs, their bottom half. Sounds like the Big Apple, am I right? Everyone take a deep breath.

Stop doing this to us. Okay. But four Glenn takes half damage. And as the rest of you see Glenn sort of like, huh. And almost accept it in a way rather than feel pain from it. It changes something in you as well. And so now from now on, when dad joke happens, you will take half of a D four of damage. Just like a Glenn does. Okay. But I took D four right now. Yeah. Right. Right now you take the whole D four. I took four. Woof.

That's a three. I didn't realize that the dad jokes counted for out-of-character dad jokes, too, but I'm glad that they do. If I feel pain, everyone has to feel pain.

Truly a daddy master. So, yeah, you see buildings that are two, three stories high, whereas in the previous town you were in, it was all a lot of stuff that was low to the ground. You see a group of people walking around in black cloaks that initially are like, oh, they're just like people, but then you see a beak poking out of them and feathers, and you realize these are like bird people of some sort. Choco bros, if you will.

That's too nerdy to be a dad joke, so we're fine. I wasn't trying. I was just saying it. And you see a lot of people hawking their wares, you know, jars full of liquids of colors that your brain can't even... Were the birds hawking the wares? Hawking their wares.

Okay, you know what? Never mind. I think we get that. I think we heal for that one. Just Freddy and Beth take a D6. A D6? Yeah, a D6. Oh, shit. You get to half it, though, because of the previous rules I set down. That's definitely a D10 you just rolled. You took nine damage for your D6. That's a clue. That's a wrong dice. The one that looks like a cube is a D6. The one that looks like a dice? The one I didn't have. The one you didn't have, so.

I can only use what I'm given. I have a three. Okay, so you take one damage. Okay. I think it's unfair for us to be punished by your indiscretions. Hey, boys, how about we stop this car and just take a short rest really quick? Just because our daddy master won't join the flock. I lock all the car doors and I look at the daddy master and say, hmm, can we take a short rest? Sure. Sure.

Sorry, if you want, I'll take a short rest. You can. You can take a nap in the car. All right. So this fantasy kingdom saw us pull up in a minivan, make four jokes, drive through the doors, and then take a nap. Yeah. All right. Daryl's tired, boys. I just stopped the car, and I instantly put my seat back, definitely hitting Glenn, who's behind me, and I just start snoring. So first of all, everybody take a short rest. Roll your hit die. Get that many HP back.

But because you took a short rest in a very civilized location, you awake to see the guards that previously were talking to you on the parapets. All of them are surrounding the Honda Odyssey with spears drawn. Oh, boy. Hey, why don't you go out there and talk to them again? I unroll the window. Pardon us, for we are weary from our travels.

But we are eager to make conversation with the previous two emissaries that entered this city. Do you happen to know where they are? The previous two emissaries...

were destroyed or disappeared. You must surely know this if you are also one of the Doodler's ilk. Sorry, Henry. How old and adorable were the two emissaries that proceeded? Did they have sandy brown hair and were they, you know, they looked like they could be twins even though they were about... They looked like the same man. It was the same, it was one child but twice. And you destroyed them? No, no, no, no. We didn't destroy them. They came to us in the night. Okay. They spoke very confusing words and...

They in the night disappeared. And when the next day came in, their place was the Lord of Chaos. Surely you would know these things. You are of the of the of the Lord of Chaos. Who is the Lord of Chaos? Henry, it might not be your kids. Really quick. Were they like were they like really dweeby and one and both kind of weak and kind of walked funny?

I do not know what the word dweeby means, but they were certainly small and weak in as much as if I needed to fight them. I'm sure I could before I'm very strong. Oh, so they're not my kid. Yeah. Neither of those kids are my kid. Yeah, no, Terry's a big boy. All right. They were loud. They were rambunctious. They spoke often of fighting. Oh, my God. It's my two boys. Where are they now? They left? We do not know. They disappeared in the night. And this Lord of Chaos that you speak of. Mayhap he devoured them.

I'm going to roll the window up. Guys, what's going on? I roll the window down and I lean out. Wait, so your side? I roll my window down. You said you talked to a different guy. Hey, sorry, that guy's just having a tough day. Come over and talk to me. So this Lord of Chaos. You want me to walk around this? Yeah, just come over here. I kind of like lean out. Come over here. You could get out. Sure, yeah, I could do that. I go ahead and I get out of the van. I put my hand out. Darrell Wilson, nice to meet you. Another emissary.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Looks good on me, right? It does. Thanks. Put my hand down. I shake his hand. He reaches out and shakes your hand. All right. So this Lord of Chaos, what exactly happened? The emissary, your progenitors came in. They spoke many confusing words. Like progenitors, am I right? Yeah, yeah. What can you?

What does that word mean? I gently explain the word progenitors to Daryl. Give me one sec. I roll down the window and I lean my head in so that Glenn can tell me what progenitors means. Progenitors is just like a real fancy, like, Tolkien way of saying the people that came before us. What way? What's Tolkien? Yeah.

You know what? Don't worry about it. All right. So anyways, so okay, they came, those dweeby kids came and then... Just a second, I'm Googling progenitor. No, it's, I did it wrong. Progenitor means something descended from, you not think that preceded you. Do you want to change that just because you don't want to say that there are kids? I thought that was progressive car insurance.

We'll just roll with it. It's fine. It's fine. This particular guard is not very well versed in vocabulary. So that's his thing now. He'll just say words slightly wrong. This guard has been studying for the SAT equivalent and has been kind of muddling up those big words, huh? Yes. So the wherewithal of the children came and they disappeared. We know not...

Why fourth? When you say disappeared, do you mean they literally, you were staring at them and they disappeared or they went somewhere that you don't know where they went? We took them to the drunken drought tavern. They laid down for the night. When we checked their room in the morning, they were gone. But the Lord of Chaos made himself known and demanded certain things of us. And I'm certain would like to see you. I unrolled the window again. You say my boys went to the end. You didn't give them any sugar before bed, did you?

They availed themselves of the myriad of bakery treats and delights. Oh, dear God. What's the matter? I don't know if that inn is still standing. That's all.

Um, we are not the fathers of those two boys, and we are not responsible for any damages they may have incurred. That's between them and the owner of the place that they destroyed. I'm assuming that they destroyed. If they didn't destroy it, don't worry about it. It seemed to be pretty okay. I mean, the- Okay. But, wait, the fathers of- Those two boys seemingly did not have fathers. Well, every boy has a father. Yeah. But they are not- They were not boys. They are like you, Emerson-

Okay, we were going to send you to, you must meet the Lord of Chaos. This is far too confusing. Should we know anything about this Lord of, and we've met Lord of Chaos before, but is there anything special about this Lord of Chaos that we should know about before we meet? Should we have weapons? That is a very confusing question. I don't know. The Lord of Chaos will do with you what he willed.

I roll down the window. I now roll down my window. Also, this guy. What's this guy's deal? Hey, what's up? How's it going? He's our jester. I look down and I realize I'm not dressed. I go, ah, right, right, right. And I roll the window back up.

I've recovered my composition a little bit here. I've adjusted the shock of the situation, and I think we should call a quick dad huddle and talk about what's going on. All right. Give us one second, good sir, and I roll the windows up. Okay. Okay, guys, so it sounds like... Wait, Henry, is this a real dad huddle? This is...

All dads in the huddle. All dads in the huddle. Thanks. Thanks, Henry. That means a lot. It sounds to me like my boys came and made some sort of crazy bluff about what the doodler was. Maybe they think it's some sort of weird monster. I mean, it does look pretty hideous and terrifying. Like, I'm willing to admit. But I think that's what gives it such great school spirit. It's kind of like that weird... Go on, Henry. Yeah, go ahead. I think we should go see this Lord of Chaos guy because maybe he knows what happened to our kids.

Yeah, I'm okay with that. Yeah. Just really quick. Henry, you really think we need a dad huddle to say that we're going to go see the Lord of Chaos? It seemed like we were... I mean, all right. Okay. I just feel like it could have been an email. You didn't have to set a meeting. All right. Well, at any rate, I think we should just keep going. I close the door and I go, fucking dude, there should have been a bear. And I go...

Yeah, let's go see this Lord of Chaos. Where should we drive our mighty hermit crab? You'll probably wish to go to Ankara, the entertaining's pit of myriad delights. It's on the opposite side of Doc's district, and it gives you directions. You have to turn right and go past the bleeding elf. Take a third right. Sorry, the bleeding elephant? Yeah, the bleeding elf. The bleeding elf. There's an elf that's standing on the corner that's just constantly bleeding and just with its hands out asking for coins. Sounds like my wife. Am I right, fellas? Oh, God. Ha, ha, ha.

No, she sounds like a good elf. Let's proceed forward. Daryl Wilson holds the keys and he looks at Henry, who I'm assuming looks pretty upset, and he goes, Hey, Henry. Yes, Daryl? I toss you the keys.

Hey, why don't you drive the beast? Maybe make sure your boys are all right. I mean, I haven't driven much bigger than a Kia Sorento before, but I guess I could try my hand at this. But thank you. Maybe this will give me something to focus on besides the fact that my kids might have been devoured by some sort of chaos, Lord. I'm not sure exactly what's going on. All right, well, I'm going to go ahead and try to follow the directions to the Pit of Myriad Delights. While he's driving, can I do a sleight of hand check to try to steal from some of Charleston's shoes? Yeah.

since he's distracted while driving. Yeah, go ahead and do that with advantage. Sleight of hand. That's a 19 plus one, so 20. Roll perception, Will. I got a 12 plus five, which is a 17. I do not see. All right.

The theft of the Charleston shoes. But I would like to state for the record that I have been keeping count of the Charleston shoes. So the next time Henry checks the books, he might sense something is amiss. I grab one and I start pulling it and I go... And I go for another one. Oh, what? This is a dark day for you. I got 19. You got another 19? I got a natural 20. Oh my god!

I thought you wanted me to drive because I'm having a tough day. Just keep driving. You, sir, have an addiction to chocolate that you need to deal with. And I will not have my trust undermined by the likes of you for some Charleston shoes. You get those when you earn them, sir. And I snatch it out of his hands.

I look in the mirror and I don't look as good as I did a few moments ago. Do you like kind of like slouch? Yeah, I slouch. All my pecs fat goes back to my stomach. Roll a d20. 15. Okay. The shirt stays on.

All right. This is turning into a magic micro. Some sensitive boys in this car. All right. So I drive towards the directions that we got. Okay, great. Wait, did we pass the bleeding elf yet? Yeah. Okay. I pull up to the bleeding elf. All right. And I unroll the window. No, don't give them any money. And I say, hello, sir. Bleeding elf. Hello. Oh,

Alms, please. Well, I'm fresh out of alms, but I have one of these for you, and I give him the Charleston Chew while making direct eye contact with Daryl. This is a confectionary that maybe will help you in your travels because it seems like you're having a tough day, sir. And maybe you could appreciate this, and some other people could have learned to appreciate not taking these things for granted. I've had a very tough life indeed. Let me partake of this confection. I feel like we also have a first aid kit, but yeah. Yeah.

No, the Charleston Chew will do. It won't help. That's very kind of you. It won't. I've tried it. It's a thing. And he starts like unwrapping the Charleston Chew with his bloody fingers and it's all slippery. And he's like, this could take a bit. And then he opens it and pops it in his mouth and starts to chew. And he goes, oh, delectable. Yeah. The most delicious thing I've tasted in a fort month. I truly appreciate this. Well, you have a good day, sir. I already am. Thank you. I roll up the window and I keep trying it.

Daryl Wilson's very ashamed of himself. I think Ron thinks of his parents. Sorry, wish to expand upon that? No, just the dynamic. Just Ron is whisked back into his childhood, listening to Daryl and Henry. And yet there's a comfort to the way Daryl and Henry interact that was lacking in Ron's parents. But still, he thinks of them.

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When you come up across the pit of Myriad Delights, you see that it is actually something of a misnomer. There are two pits, one of which... Whoa. Wow, guys, this place is really the pits of...

Alright, you all know what to do. Do we take half? Yeah, you take a D form with half, and Will now has an inspiration. How many inspirations? You have a lot. You can only ever have one inspiration at any given time. You're just fucking clowning, just showing off at this point. So yeah, in one of the pits, you see what is clearly just a very large number of people having carnal knowledge of one another. Just every orifice, every possible thing you can imagine is happening in that pit.

Is this the person who's studying the SAT again? Because I don't know. I don't know what carnival. They're having sex. Oh! It's a big orgy pit. Okay. When I thought pit, I thought like, you know, they throw people down and they die. So are we looking down this big pit? Or is it just like a little like, you're on a rise, basically. You bet I am. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

And there are two bits that both are basically the size of, you know, in a three ring circus, they're the size of like a ring. So they're about 20 yards, 20 yards in diameter. I've never heard somebody describe the size of like as one ring of a three ring circus. Okay. Anthony Burge, old timey metaphors for Sam.

You've been to a three-ring circus? A third of that. You know when you went to the fun fair with your best gal and you shared a soda phosphate? Typical three-ring circus dimensions, you know, with traveling Connie's. Okay. Enough of two elephants, back to back. You know how it is. I've never heard so much BDSM in a not-BDSM podcast.

Okay, so a bunch of people are fucking in one ring. And in the other ring, you see a group of three adventurers. You see a guy with a bow and arrow and a dude with a big old sword and a shield and a guy who's casting spells at things and they are being completely obliterated by what seems to be five completely unrelated creatures. There's a

a flying hippogriff that just tears one's head off, a small puppy dog that's just sort of standing there not doing anything, and then a vampire that's sucking the life out of one of the other guys. I just want to say Daryl Wilson has definitely not seen what's in the other pit.

He's only looking at that one pit. The idea that Daniel Wilson's seeing this other stuff is absolutely not the case. He's still on the Cinemax pit. Yes, and he's very uncomfortable as a pure boy. As we're parked up there, I go, hey, Henry, make sure you set the parking brake. We don't want to roll into either of these pits. Hey, Glenn, you're probably used to this stuff, huh? All right. Looks like a pretty good Sunday afternoon.

Okay. So, uh, it, it appears there's a lot of weird stuff going on, gentlemen. Um, nothing weird about sex. There are also, uh, crowds around both of the pets and they're all cheering and you can't really tell which one they're cheering for. Maybe it's for both of them. Maybe it's for everything. Hmm. Okay. Dog is that what, what are you talking about? The pub? Can I roll to perceive what kind of dog that is? Go ahead. Got to get a good look at that dog. I got a 12 and it looks like a hug. Yeah. It,

It does. That's what you think a hug looks like, whatever that kind of dog is. Yep. There's also a ticket booth in front of the two pits. Basically, there's a staircase going down in front of it as a ticket booth with an ogre standing in front of it. Okay, so apparently, you know, I'd have to say if someone was telling me that a guy called the Lord of Chaos was throwing a party, this is kind of what I pictured it would look like. So I think we're in the right place. Okay.

I would say for the most part, try to keep your hands to yourselves, guys. And, you know, don't let anything get into your mouth or sort of like body area. Too bad you got rid of those condoms. I was about to say I have a second pack of condoms. If anyone would like to put them on their hands so you don't touch anything gross. I think there's going to be a lot of fluids down there.

Before we go in, though, I want to establish one rule. Anytime I'm on a field trip to a new place with my beautiful boys, we do a buddy system. So everyone in the van, pick a buddy to keep your eye on during the next little part of our escapade here. Glenn, I'm going to say you're my buddy for today. All right. So we got to watch out for each other. Now, Daryl, Ron, can you guys be good buddies to each other and look out for each other? I was thinking about taking the dog as a buddy. Ron, where's where in this orgy is there a dog?

Just keep looking. Is there really a dog in this orgy? Just trust me, keep looking. Where's this dog?

Okay, Glenn, I think you should be Daryl's buddy and I'll be Ron's buddy. Hey, Daryl, man. What's up, Glenn? It doesn't really change the longer you stare at it. Let's get our head in the game to use a sports analogy. Okay, buddies together, united forever. Let's go. And I open the door. I'm assuming you all exit the van? Yeah. Yeah. The ogre sees a bunch of you exiting the van, three of you wearing the shirts of the doodler and says, oh, that's awful confusing. Tell me about it.

Are you other emissaries? We sure are, friend. And we're here to see the Lord of Chaos. Oh, the Lord of Chaos. I should probably go get the sheriff. Head on down to the ring without all the lovemaking in it, and I'll send the sheriff to come get you. Okay.

Okay. Can I ask you a question? Go right ahead. What's going on here? Uh, we're here. We're talking. Well, I, but what, what's, what manner of entertainment is this? We're from out of town and then the sauciest things get where we're from is a little sport known as professional wrestling, uh, which does not have quite as much erotic or violent. We've got professionals here in both, in both rings. Uh,

I mean, it's basically just all the enjoyments that life has to offer. You have life in its conception and then life in its end. It's sort of the whole gamut of the human experience. That's beautiful. That sounds like a good career track. You know anybody? I've got business cards. Can anybody just go in that pit? If we wanted to go in that pit?

Which one? The pit. Wait, I finally noticed there's another pit. Oh, I'm like, what? Never mind. Just wondering if... What were we doing? We're here to see the Lord of Chaos to get our sons back. The sheriff. We're finding a sheriff. So as you guys are talking, a frustratingly handsome man comes up to you

And for the first time since you put on that shirt, you see something that is slightly more attractive than you. Are you talking to me? Yeah, I'm talking to Daryl. He's looking directly at me. Yeah, sorry. Daryl, for the first time, you're like, oh, that's what a properly handsome man who's handsome all the time looks like. Who doesn't need clothing-based peck enhancement. He has a very large emblem that looks like a silver shield on his lapel. And he says, oh, that's quite perplexing.

Hi, I'm Sheriff... Fuck, what is the name I gave this idiot? Boreanaz. Hi, I'm Sheriff Boreanaz. That name snaps me out of looking at the orgy. And I turn, and I feel like for a second he does look like David Boreanaz. He looks exactly like David Boreanaz. He looks just like him. He looks like peak David Boreanaz, like season five of Angel, David Boreanaz. I would go season three, but let's go on. I go, oh, uh...

Hi, I'm... I'm Will... Willie. I'm Daryl Will... I'm Daryl... Daryl. Hi, nice to meet you. I put my hand out. He puts out his hand for a handshake, and it is so strong. It is the strongest handshake you've ever had. Oh, got quite a grip there, buddy. I'm Wilson, Daryl, and these are my friends. Henry and... Hi, I'm Beth. I mean, I'm Ron. Ron.

I know somebody who would like you, though. Her name is Beth. So he looks you all over with a discerning gaze, and he's... I shiver. Involuntary shiver. He draws a single finger across his chin in thought, and he says, at the count of three, all of you are going to tell me

what your purpose here is. Sorry, I have a question. One. At once? Do we all go at once? Yes, all of you. Three beat or like on the word? Three, two, one, go. You're all going to tell me why you're here. Three, two, one, go. You're beautiful. We're emissaries from another town.

So all of you said different things. Sorry. We're, yeah, we're ambassadors. We're looking, the Lord of Chaos. Can we call a dad huddle finally? Excuse us for one moment, sir.

Mr. Boreanaz, we'll be right back. Guys, that guy's really handsome, right? What? I didn't notice. Okay, well, I just wanted to clear the air on that. Is this a real dad huddle? This is a real dad huddle. Okay, because I could stay out of the huddle and stay with Boreanaz. Okay, all right. You're a real dad. You're a real dad, Ron. Sure. I put both my hands on Ron's shoulder. You're a real dad.

Ron tries not to cry. All right, let's do this. Dad huddle. Okay, I actually think, despite the fact that I blurted out that we're emissaries because I'm scared, I think we need to just tell the truth. I think that's the simplest thing. Sounds like this guy's a stickler for bullshit. Let's just give it to him straight between the eyes and just be straight shooters with him. Okay? Does that sound like a plan? Yeah. Okay. Sir, we'd like to redo our answer. He smirks a little bit in a knowing way. He says, I thought you might.

We are from another world. We tumbled through a portal into your world, along with our sons who are missing. And this doodle that you see, this is, in our world, what's known as a soccer jersey and a mascot. Do you guys have sports here? Is there like a, for the people who do the fucking, do they have like a guy that they wear, that they sell toys of? Like a sponsor? Yeah.

You're like a sponsor. Yes, there are many fuck sponsors in the crowd. The doodler is the fuck sponsor. As he says fuck sponsor, you can see some of them are wearing shirts that have like a bunch of logos on them. I never noticed that they had jerseys on. The doodler is a sigil for the fuck sponsor of our children's soccer team. Your world sounds very debased. It is. Well, that...

That can't possibly be true, because cards on the table, the children who came in, I'm assuming they were yours? His. Yes, mine. Yes. By two beautiful boys, Lark and Sparrow. Has anyone... They disappeared. That is known to you? We've been informed, and we're hoping to rectify that situation vis-a-vis finding them. Right, right. I cannot specifically help you in that regard. I know not where they are. The Lord of Chaos may, but...

When they showed up, it was of great concern and interest to me because this doodler does resemble greatly an eldritch god that some of us among the aristocracy... That thing? It looks like a god? Yes, it is unknowable and yet beautiful. It has many shapes and yet it is one. It is the perfection incarnate.

Sure. I'm so proud of those boys. I just got to say it again. But that's so strange because in our world, it was just a fanciful flight. Sorry, I step away.

In our world, it was just the fanciful flight of two beautiful boys' imagination. So that is equally perplexing what you tell me, sir. Well, doors have many keys, and it could be that the imaginations of your two beautiful children, who are fine, two fine children, two okay children, could unlock the door that held the eldritch one. Oh, so they kind of channeled some sort of ancient terror through their doodles. As I knew it...

The door was to be opened when blood was drawn from the unsung hero. When blood was drawn from what? Is that like a Zeppelin song? I don't, Glenn, that wasn't on Houses of the Holy, I gotta say, nor physical graffiti, nor the later coda, mother, no, none of them. The second less carnal ring to your right that you can see, this is often used as a means of recreation, but as of late, I and the other secret cult of the doodler, don't tell anybody, shh.

to stay between us. Wait, can you say that again? What did you say? The secret cult of the doodler. Don't tell anybody. He said it was the secret cult of the doodler. The secret cult of the doodler? Stop saying it so loudly. So you called the doodler too? I mean, we thought it was easiest after your children decided to go. It never had a name. We just referred to it as the eldritch one and your kids came in and were like, it's called the doodler. So we now know its true name. Did you guys have like a renaming meeting or something? No, it happened pretty immediately. We all kind of looked at each other and were like, oh, the doodler, that's a

good name. I'm impressed that you were able to take it up so perfectly, like, so, you know, so soon. Yeah, I mean, we have a, we're very, we're all sort of united of purpose. Fuck off! What are you guys talking about? Ha ha ha!

Here's what I propose. I still cannot be certain, 100% certain, that you are not charlatans. You don't seem to have an air of magic about you that these two children did. They had magic about them? Oh, certainly. Henry, you did spray poison out of your fingertips. Oh, yeah. Oh, fair enough. Let me just say this. In our world, they're called gifted charlatans.

Okay, sure, gifted. You certainly seem to be lacking in these gifts of which you speak. Thank God. So I can give you an audience...

with the Lord of Chaos. All right. But I cannot be certain that you doing so would not set certain events into motion that would prevent the rising of the doodler, which is my priority, obviously. The secret call to the doodler. Yes. That's what you're part of. Yes. And you're going to arrange for us to meet the Lord of Chaos. Is that what's right? I could. I could arrange for you to meet the Lord of Chaos.

but it is entirely possible that you fit to a different part of the prophecy than the emissaries did. The emissaries job within the prophecy that we have been operating on since your, before your children arrived was basically that the emissaries would show up. The Lord of chaos would follow in his wake. And from there, the death of the unsung hero would summon the doodler and thus the end of the world as we know it, but we would, but, but to replace, but to be replaced with a better one. So you're like, okay with that. Oh yeah. It would be replaced with a better world.

And we, as the children of the doodler, would bear the fruits of that labor. Really quick, how deep is this pit where everybody's fucking? Here's another metaphor that I'm sure will mean nothing to you. It's the distance from the scaffolding atop a theater stage at a high school down to the stage itself. And like, how did people get down there? There's stairs. Okay. Daryl Wilson starts walking towards the stairs.

Okay. And he starts heading down into the pit. Oh, you're ahead of me. I was about to suggest that you go to the ring of combat. Oh, no. Daryl Wilson doesn't hear me. You might be the unsung heroes. Daryl Wilson is walking into the pit, the orgy pit. So that one's clearly not the unsung hero. Daryl, do you want a Charleston shoe today or not? I just want to take a quick look. I start going down the stairs. Daryl, I grab Daryl and try to pull him back. Roll dexterity opposed. Both of you roll dexterity.

13 plus one. 17. Okay, so you catch Daryl's shirt just as he's about to, and it rips off. He gets Daryl's shirt and it tears from the back and then just sort of woof and then all the... Well, so wait, that means that now he's unencumbered and shirtless and walking towards the orgy pit. Oh yeah, I guess so. From the back I go, rock on, man. Wait, so Henry tore my shirt off. Yeah. I look at my five-year-old self, I look at Henry and I push him into the pit. What are you...

What are you doing? I don't want to go in the pit. I'm halfway. I would say I'm halfway downstairs, but I was walking down the Georgie pit and Henry, Henry came and tore my shirt and I just push him. Okay. Roll, roll, roll an attack at him. It'll be, it'll be for no damage, but it'll be 19. Oh my God. Okay. Do I do an opposing or what do I do? Uh, yeah. Why don't you roll dexterity? See if you can get out of the way.

Uh, I'm going to go ahead and use inspiration. Yeah, the long shot there. Uh, I fall into the pit. Can I help? He's my buddy. Ron and I are standing back being like, hey, you think we should do something about our buddies? As I fall into the pit, I go, Glenn, he's your buddy! Henry! I just wanted to take a look! I start covering myself up, embarrassed. Okay, so, uh...

All right, shit. Boy, oh boy. So Henry hits the ground of the fuck pit and you take a D6 of damage. Okay, I can do that. I take four damage. And as you hit the ground, a half elf and a half orc that are scissoring one another sort of turn to look at you and they go, what manner of beast is this? Ah!

Uh, this beast is married. Sorry, gotta go. Ooh, marriage. The delight of infidelity. Come closer, may have. Is this a consensual pit? Uh, I'm out. I fell on my accident. Oh, we're all back in set. If you don't want to do it, you can bounce. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, but you guys keep having fun. That's very, that's very cool. That's fine. That's too bad. We'll be here if you change your mind. I scoot through as cleanly and carefully as I can while avoiding eye contact with anything I'm seeing, which makes it very hard. Eye contact and fluids, am I right? Yeah. Roll, roll, uh, dexterity.

I've got an 18. All right. You come through dry. Come through clean. All right. Sorry about that, Harry. I glare at Daryl, and then I pull out another Charleston Chew, and I throw it into the pit. You're down dose today, buddy. You hear a voice go, ooh, delights of many varieties today.

I run into the minivan and get my original shirt and put it on. So I walk back up to the sheriff. All right. So he goes, all right, so I guess I'm sort of rethinking my whole you guys are the unsung heroes thing.

And it seems like y'all are just a bunch of crazy people. I could have been a hero. I just didn't do it. I just wasn't heroic. Yeah, that's by definition not heroic. Oh. I've had a bit of an afternoon here. Clearly. I want to see if I can cinch my saddle, so to speak, around... What does that mean? That's old cowboy slang. Henry is a big fan of classic cowboy cinema and slang of the Old West, so...

What I'm trying to say here, Pilgrim... He finds them very problematic, though, like, at the same time. He's uncomfortable with certain aspects. It's truly his guilty pleasure. His white guilty pleasure. So, let me see if I can figure this out here. So...

There's an ancient eldritch god, and there's a prophecy that an emissary will show up of the god. Specifically two, which is why it was so interesting. And the fact that they're twins, I'm sure, is like some sort of weird omen as well. No, that was just sort of a fun bonus. Okay. So then, but then after the emissaries show up, an unsung hero shows up and dies, and then the doodler is called forth.

Yeah, it was not necessarily dies, but yes, once the blood of the unsung hero is spilled before the eyes of the Lord of Chaos, then yes, supposedly the doodler should be called forth. I see. So you want us to go spill our blood, essentially. I want, yes. Being that you are so unusual, I was sort of hoping that... You could have just asked, man. A little drop, guys. Kind of jacked up. Here's a question. I took four damage when I fell into the pit. Yes, so we know you're clearly not an unsung hero. Okay.

And also, we don't really know how much blood it is. And also, I'm thinking you four, how do you feel vis-a-vis the end of the world and the creation of a new one? I don't really care about this world. As if it gets me home, you guys do you, I guess. I don't know. I don't think I'm okay with that. Listen, listen. Marriages end and new ones begin. But he's talking about like a whole world blowing up. Yeah. Marriage is the world to me. Woof. Not to my father. Woof.

Yeah, no, I'm good with whatever happens, happens out of the world. Yeah, I think it's pretty fine, man. Like, you know, sometimes this stuff happens. You got some cool songs out of it. You rock and roll into the apocalypse. I'm going to cut to the chase. What's the quickest way for me to see my sons? Your sons, I don't know. The Lord of Chaos. My thought is that I would throw you into the fighting arena and then we would sort of see how you did. And depending on whether or not the Lord of Chaos thinks that you're worthy, maybe he might consider you the unsung heroes and then want to meet with you. I see. So he's pretty hard to see. Oh, so he doesn't want to meet with us right now.

No, no, no. I don't bother the Lord of Chaos with anything that is not of the utmost importance. Oh, so you're like the man that decides whether or not we meet the big man. Yeah, I'm the man behind the man. Oh, okay. Okay, so guys, I think we should do some fighting here. I think we should get into this ring and maybe see if we can attract the attention of the Lord of Chaos. It has to be that pit, though. Yes, it is the fighting pit, not the sex pit.

Okay. If you wish to go use the sex pet afterward, you're more than welcome to, presuming that the people in there find you. No, we shouldn't. I take out my phone, which I don't know how much battery life I have. You actually have a lot of battery life because you have a Nokia. I am texting. I feel really guilty. I'm texting a text message to Carol, my wife. And I'm like, hey, you know, still trying to find the kids, having a fun time with the boys, not doing anything too crazy. Love you. Hope you're not doing anything I wouldn't do or almost. Anyway, I love you, Carol. I'm texting that.

LOL. LOL. Smiley face. Roll a d20 with advantage.

That's a one. Oh. And that's a five. Okay, thank Christ you had advantage. Otherwise, you would have run out of battery on the one, so you're fine. But basically, now it's up to two. So when you roll, the next time you do anything with your phone, you'll have to make sure you don't get a one or a two. But you always get advantage because you have a Nokia brick. Nice. Perfect. That has a lot of battery life. Okay, so you send that text off. You get a response very quickly that's, just focus on the kids. I don't care if you're having fun with your friends. Our kids are gone. I fold up my phone and I put it in my pocket.

I mean, I'm in. I feel like I'm starting to get a handle on whatever weird mystical powers are coursing through my body. And we have to fight like a hand-to-hand combat? You can fight whatever you want. The Lord of Chaos only seems to respect combat. The Lord of Chaos doesn't even like to look at the other pit, but the Lord of Chaos has a lot of interest in what happens in this combat pit. So it feels like if you can go in and do something impressive, maybe the Lord of Chaos will deign to meet with you one-on-one. You just gotta show the Lord of Chaos that we're big men!

I go to the back of the minivan. Like, yeah, like, let's see Darnell do this, huh? And I get the golf club. I go, you ready for this, Henry? I'm ready because I really want to see my sons and I'll kick anyone's ass that I need to to get to them, you know, which is slightly more aggro than I normally go. But what the hey? I take my shirt off.

I walk in with the golf club into the pit. Well, I guess if we're going to throw down, I guess my buddy wants to throw down. And according to the buddy system, Glenn, I got to go help my buddy out. So I take out my Kershaw brand everyday carry knife. I flick it open. I go, I guess we're fighting. Well, nothing makes me angrier than a middleman gatekeeping a career path. So I take my razor sharp business cards and I stick them in my wallet and they barely stay in there because they're so frag and sharp.

Okay, so nestled in with a lot of the other audience members and stuff is a small box like you might see at medieval nights or whatever for the king. Sorry, that would be medieval times, Anthony. Oh, sorry, medieval times. I'm so sorry. I was too busy pounding pussy while the rest of you were going to medieval times. And you see an eight-foot tall – I'm so sorry I said that. Medieval times is great, man. It's a great way to – if you want to have food and make sure that you're never more than 20 feet away from horse shit, it's a great way to spend the night, yeah.

I've never been. I'm guessing Medieval Times is going to sponsor the podcast. You see an eight foot tall creature wearing a very large black coat that completely covers its body. Its face is shadowed. Looks like a ring wraith. It's like a ring wraith.

Henry, you in your heart know that this is the Lord of Chaos. This is this creature that seemingly replaced your kids or did away with them or something like that. It's holding a hand up like this so that it can't see the sex ring, and it's just focusing on the combat ring. And so here's how this is going to work. Sort of breaking character for a second.

I brought a bunch of creature cards that vary in level from zero to like five. So the way that this works is that because you're all level two, any creature that is level two is going to be a well-balanced fight for you on its own. In order to get the Lord of Chaos's favor, I'm going to roll a d6.

And if you roll a six, then you've got his favor. You're fine, you're cool. - Okay. - Every creature you choose to pull from this deck, which will fight you simultaneously, will give you a bonus. If you pull one of these, then you only need to get a five or a six. If you pull two of these, you can get a four, five, or six. - Okay. - Pull three and so on and so forth. But I'm gonna pull them randomly.

So there's no guarantee that what's going to come out is going to be a balanced experience for you. Okay, just to clarify. So we need to roll a six, and then we get extra dice? Oh no, it just lowers the threshold for what impresses. Basically, yeah. So if you can't impress him, Boreanaz says, if you don't impress the Lord of Chaos, clearly you weren't the chosen ones. You have nothing to do with this prophecy. I will escort you on your way. Maybe if you're nice, I won't have you killed for knowing about the cult.

You're only going to get one chance to impress the Lord of Chaos. Okay, so we get one chance. So if we fight three monsters, we have to roll a three, four, five, or six. But there's no way of... Basically, you're playing a risk-reward game. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, interesting. And I'm assuming the other people we saw got killed, the other adventurers. Oh, yeah. As you come down into the fight pit, the corpses or what's left of them of the previous adventures that you saw are dragged away. The griffon and the dog and the other creatures are sort of put back into cages and lowered underground on rudimentary pulley systems. Is the dog okay? The dog's fine. Okay, cool. Oh, so the dog was one of the things they were fighting. I thought that was a hero. Here's a question. Why is the Lord of Chaos so intent on not looking at the sex pit?

That's what I want to know. That's very interesting to me. Because that, to me, gentlemen, seems like a weakness to be exploited. Here's what I'm thinking. This is out of character. I'm listening. I'm listening. Are you saying we all get down? If we all fuck in front of the Lord of Chaos, he won't know what to do. What is the ultimate chaos? Henry whispers to his bros, if things go south in this arena, here's what I'm thinking.

is if we can't handle the monsters, what is going to impress the Lord of Chaos more than getting a little crazy ourselves? I just, Hail Mary throws, I think we all got to get naked. Yeah, I mean, if we can't go out fighting, we should go out fucking. Because then, like, what is he looking away for? Because then he'll be looking. That's a good point. We show him what he doesn't want to look at, and maybe he'll respect that. Yeah, we want to go out swinging one way or the other. Wink, wink, wink, wink, wink, wink, wink, wink. If I remember from one of my favorite movies is 300.

And I remember the Spartans would fight like naked to like intimidate their enemies. I like what you're getting at, Henry. So maybe we do you saying we should get new? I just started. I just started. Daryl Wilson gets naked and I'm holding my golf club naked, ready to fight. Let's do this. Come on, Ron. Let's show us what you got. I look over at my buddy and I shrug and I'm like, I mean, I guess we're fighting naked. We're fighting naked. That's how the buddy system. Oh, save your sons, Henry. Ah,

Oh, it's going to, if, if everyone's naked, but me, then I'm the naked one. And that's weird. Cause like, it's just, I'm a conformist. I'm going to go along with it. And I take off my clothes. Okay. All right. All right. I take, I take off. I, Ron takes off his pants and then there's another pair of pants. That pair of pants.

Okay. Come on, Ron, let's do this. All right, I take off the pants again, and there's just a really thick pair of underwear, just like a really nice sort of boxer situation going on. What kind of print on the boxers? It's me undies. Use the code DUNGEONSANDDADDIES.

I put it in my headphones and I start listening to a book from audible.com. It's just a bunch of Harry's razor blades. The Spartans would indeed become hairless before this battle. Let's all shave our body hair. And the ring you notice has a square space in the middle of it. Shave your body hair because Madison Reeve is changing the way women color their hair.

All right, let's do this. Okay. All right. Well, before you decide to... So you're all naked, huh? We're naked. Except for Ron, who's got like... Anthony looks very upset. You're about to find out why. Oh, no. Because I had this whole fight thing planned. And you get naked. And when you're expecting to start choosing the fights and creatures...

Henry, you hear a very familiar set of voices go, no! And you see the Lord of Chaos throws off his cloak and it is clearly Lark and Sparrow standing on top of each other's shoulders and they go, dang! Oh, shit!

So

Dungeons and Daddies is Anthony Burch, Beth May, Matt Arnold, Will Campos, and myself, Freddie Wong. Theme song by Maxon Waller. We have some brand new podcast cover art drawn by Alex Moore. You can find him at NotAnotherAlex on Twitter and Alex Moore Illustration on Instagram. You can find us on Twitter at Dungeons and Dads and join our Facebook group at bit.ly slash Dungeon Dads.

If you've enjoyed this podcast, please leave us an iTunes review because I'm told that deep in the unknowable depths of algorithmic recommendation engines that iTunes reviews are like the best thing. It's the NOS to continue the automotive analogy that I was using there. We're sticking to new episodes every two weeks. So episode four will be coming out March 12th and we'll see you then. There was a time you need between to know they never brought you down.

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Forever!

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