Throwback Thursday: Josh Wolf: Clowns, Microdosing, and Hookers
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Hey guys, I need to ask you a question. I want to know why in the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the BunnyXO show. We have Meet the D-Fords. We have Popaganda. We have more shows that we're adding. And not to mention, we have the visuals of this.

the podcast. Not only that, we have four tiers that caters to everybody's budget and everybody gets the podcast. There's no more excuses. Head over to www.patreon.com backslash dumb blonde podcast and sign up. Stop missing out. We have built a huge community over there, guys. I'm talking about hundreds of thousands of people over there. We even have

Live chats, live chats that I actually am talking in every single night. Last but not least, we give away gifts every freaking month. I'm talking like signed stuff from Jay and I, lives. You just never know what kind of surprise you're gonna get. It's like a Cracker Jack box. I love the community that we've built over there at Patreon. If you are already a Patreon member,

I freaking love you, dude. Thank you so much. You guys are my babies for life, my writers. If I could, I would literally make out with each and every one of you. I love you guys so much. And that's a lot of kisses, actually. Gotta go, bye. Is this thing on?

All right, gentlemen, coming to main stage next. This is Bunny. Get up there. She's got a tornado of titties coming your way. Get those dollar bills ready. She's got an ass that shakes like Michael J. Fox. So get up there and throw, throw, throw them dollars. Dude, that is fucking iconic. What's up, you sexy motherfuckers? Welcome to another episode of Dumb Blonde. Today, the guest that I have, if you do not know who he is, you have been living under a rock.

Mr. Josh Wolf, the king of comedy over here. What's going on? How you doing, baby? Good. How you doing? Doing good. That guy sounded like he was driving on a leaf blower. You know, I thought it was a weed eater at first. I was like, fuck my life. Do you know when I was, oh my God, holy shit, very, very young comic in LA, zero money, I drove a little...

Like a scooter. I drove a moped, right? Oh my God, a moped. But the moped's muffler was broken, so it sounded like a Harley. Yeah. So when you drove, you heard it. And you were like, let's see what's coming down the street. It was me on a moped. That is hilarious. And that was also during the time when I was entertaining at children's parties and the guy wouldn't let me show up and get changed.

So I had to show up in costume. So I had to ride around on the fucking moped. Oh my God. Dressed like Peter Pan. I was just about to say, okay, so for those of you who don't know who Josh is, Josh Wolfe is very huge in the comedy circuit. And I mean, there's just so much ground to cover here. It's like, which angle do we even start from? You're like so multifaceted that I'm just like, which angle do we go with? I think we start with this.

I think we start with the fact that we know each other. Yes. Because within 15 minutes of meeting your husband, I'm like, this is a real dude. Oh, yeah. And so that's what I'm attracted to real people. Dude, daddy is 100% genuine soul. Like he is just, he's so special. And that's the first thing I ever said to him when I met him. I was like, you're special. I was like, there's something really special about you. And he was just like, what are you talking about?

bitch. Suck my dick. All right. We ain't talking about how special I am. And that's how I fell in love. Yeah, that is. I mean, that's how you woo a woman. Yeah, totally. So, okay. You...

started out doing kids parties. Well, yeah. And you know the most embarrassing? First of all, definitely there was one mom who had a clown fetish. Ooh, I do too. She paid me in cash and blowjob. Yes! While you were dressed up as a clown? Yes. Dude. Hot. Straight up, I started to take the clown outfit off and she was like, nope. I was like, what? She was like, I've always wanted to do this with somebody with a clown outfit. And I was like...

Okay. She definitely had her butt touched by a clown when she was younger. For sure. And you know what? That's okay because we talk about trauma on my show. All the girls that are listening understand about the trauma. Yo. I would suck a clown's dick. I actually might have Jade dress up as a clown for fucking Halloween now. Are we going clown suit, creepy clown? Any sort of clown. I'm down for the clown. By the way.

By the way, that is a great t-shirt. With a clown face right here. I can't even take credit for that. That's ICP. The juggalos have already fucking coined that phrase. That is. But I will tell you, there was something extra fun for me. Yeah, I bet. Do you know what I mean? Oh, I definitely, I squeezed my horn. When you were fucking shooting a load. When she was blowing me, I was like. That's.

I mean, that is hilarious. Still got to make it funny. That is so funny. Okay. So where are you from originally? I grew up in Massachusetts. Okay. And you made your way down to LA for comedy or has comedy always been your thing that you wanted to start with? Or did you want to be an actor, singer? You know, um, there's not everywhere from laughing about the thing. If I can clean it off my nostrils right now.

By the way, you know what I love? You see, this is when I perform also, if I spit or something comes out. Yeah. That's the first thing I say. I'm like, did you see that big thing? You got to address it, you know, because if you claim it, nobody can be like, oh, my God, did you see the fucking snot rocket come out of her nostrils? You know, beat them to the punch. Yeah, I love it. When I was 15, I saw stand up on TV. Yeah.

And I told my parents, I want to try that. Yeah. And they drove me to the show. The first joke I ever told, my mom and dad were in the front row. And I said, hey, everybody, I'm Josh. I'm 15. I'm really nervous because this is the first fucking time I'll be able to fucking swear in front of my cocksucking mom. And my parents were like... He went straight for the dirty fucking... I just went straight for...

If I'm going to do this. Yeah, but 15. 15, 15. And then the second gig I ever had, I was in the display window of a...

department store in downtown Hartford, Connecticut. A dude saw me. He was like, hey, I got a gig for you. And I was like, well, this comedy shit's easy. Yeah. And he put me in a display window, which did not go that well. I was 15. Okay, what were you doing in the display window? I was hiding. So this is pre like camera phones and everything. Right. So I was hiding and there was a microphone underneath a mailbox. So I was pretending to be in the mailbox. Mm-hmm.

I mean, you're like, you know what I admire, though? You were that young, willing to work. Our kid, our kid is 13 and fucking I can't get her to do anything. I'm like, it's time. Come on, kid. Yo, what child labor laws are out the door? How old were you when you get your first job? 14. I was 13. Yeah. And I ran away from home at 14 and never went back.

is that right yeah yeah i've worked my whole life so i expect the same from this little shit bag at home i'm just kidding i'm kidding b i love you i got my first job at 13 my kids worked you know when jacob my youngest son right he went to college for a semester and he was like this isn't for me i said cool i said it's not for everybody you know do whatever you want to do yeah he comes home and um

I go, but you know, you get three months and then you gotta be out of the house. And he was like, why? I was like, well, you're not in college, right? And he said, no. And I said, well, grownups in the workforce don't live at my house. They live at their house. I said, so you got three months. I love a good ultimatum. Yo, he already told me. He goes, why? I go, it's gonna be good for your self-confidence, man. It'll be good for you to learn how to live on your own. You know what he told me? He goes...

agree to disagree and I was like you can disagree with whatever the fuck you want to disagree with but three months you get three months

Five days into his own first place, he sent me a video of him pouring a beer into Captain Crunch and taking a bong rip. And he was like, I love living alone. Oh, shit. That is fucking funny, though. I'm scared for Bailey, though, man. I don't even think she would know how to even fucking rip a bong and fucking pour a beer and fucking cereal. She's so spoiled. We love her so much. It's crazy, though. Girls and boys are so different, too, though. Yeah. Yeah, it's totally different. Girls are so much smarter.

They are. They are really smart. Dangerously smart. Especially nowadays. It's fucking insane. The kids... I'm having conversations with my kid last night about pronouns. He, she, fucking them, they, all that shit. I've never... And she's like schooling me. She's like, I don't present masculine. You know, because our daughter, you know, right now on this stage in her life is...

claiming to be a lesbian full on. So we support her. You know, I'm just like, if this is how you want to be, then my daughter did too. At least I don't have to worry about teen pregnancy. I said the same thing. That's one less dick. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Is she still, uh, is your daughter still, or is she, did she find the wieners? Not she, you know, I think she would still tell you she's bisexual, but she dates wieners. Okay. I, I,

I remember the day she told us we were at dinner at our house. This was the most bizarre conversation. It's different when they first tell you. You're just kind of like, okay. She started like weeping.

And we were at dinner and she's weeping and she's crying and she goes, I go, what's wrong? And she goes, I'm so ashamed. I should have told you this. She said, but I'm dating Amanda. And I was like, okay. And then Jacob, who was 11 years old, the brother, he was sitting across from her and he goes, I'm in an Armenian gang. I was like, what?

You're like, what is going on at this fucking dinner table? Exactly. I was like, what are we talking about tonight? I even asked Beth. I'm like, you got anything you want to share that's going to beat either one of these? Yeah, it was a crazy conversation. That is awesome though. But she had been dating her best friend. Which is, you know what? But I also understand like,

I think young girls probably feel emotion more than young boys. Absolutely. Especially nowadays. And so they, they really liked, you know what I mean? Like that feeling. Oh, I bumped beavers with my best friend. Makes total sense. We were scissoring when we were 16. So I totally understand. I did the dick pretzel with a buddy of mine. No, I didn't. I was like, did you?

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Right. So this window thing. Yeah. When did you. So when did you start making your way to L.A.? Because the first time I had ever seen you was on Chelsea Handler's. Oh, yeah. What was her show? Chelsea Lately. Chelsea Lately. I was a fucking huge fucking Chelsea fan, which is crazy how it worked out later on in life. Yeah. Because Chelsea's actually, you know, is producing our reality show and fucking loves Jay. I mean, just fucking her and Jay. Weirdest fucking couple ever. Right. No, because here's what I really believe. Mm hmm.

real finds real. Yeah. Real finds real. Yeah, totally. So, you know, when you see these crazy, crazy, like, combination, dinner combinations where you're like, what's Snoop Dogg doing with Martha Stewart? Martha Stewart, right. Real respects real. And those two, you're not going to get a whole lot more real than Chelsea either. No. Oh, no, not at all. She's hilarious. Yeah. And, and,

She's actually who I modeled my team after how she has an all female team. So do I like when I just watched her for a couple of days and I was like, I want to do what she's doing. She also is really, you know what she's really good at and she did it on the show all the time. She doesn't need all the attention all the time. And you know what? Good leader delegates to people to do their job. Yeah, absolutely. And trust that you're going to do your job. Yeah. And I'm going to pay you well. And, but you know,

This is what I expect from you. Oh, yeah. No, I'm the same way. This is exactly how I run my fucking show. Everything's totally cool until you start doing what you're not supposed to do. Who does that sound like? And then you know what? Then it's not fucking cool. Yeah, no. And that's it. Totally. And that's it. So like, and like, there were people that were at times...

She was just, look, man, if you can't take what she's going to say to your face, it's not the right person to work for. At all. But, you know, I got the heaviest I'd ever gotten on that show. I was probably about 194. Really? I always thought you were super cute. I had never had an office job. This was when I was writing on the, so I was just sitting around. Yeah. And I was walking up the stairs one day and from behind me I just heard, oh, your ass is so gross. Oh, fuck. Yeah.

And I turned around and there she is. She was like, you got to get your shit together. You look terrible. And you know what? I went home and I go, Beth, have I gotten bigger? And she's like, yeah, I've gotten a little bigger. I'm like, oh, I got to fucking get my shit together. But I, but yo, but.

But you know who says that to you? A fucking friend. Right. Do you know what I mean? All my friends tell me, I have so many friends that are mad at me right now because they're like, you just say mean things. And I'm like, I'm not mean. I'm keeping it real. Like there's a huge fucking difference. I'm not going out of my way to hurt your feelings. I'm trying to give you constructive criticism to fucking do better. And you know what else? You know who I don't give that criticism to is people I don't like. Right. Yeah.

The people I don't like or people I don't know aren't... I'm not going to give you like... Why would I tell you what I think? It doesn't fucking... I don't care. I don't really care. I don't know. I don't care if you get better or not. Right. I'm not going to waste my time. But if I'm trying to build something with you, I'm definitely going to tell you. So finding you on Chelsea lately was how I saw you. So what led up to even Hollywood and LA and just getting out there first? I'm sure Chelsea wasn't your first...

Rendezvous. Well, so I had a lot of fun stops man. I started doing stand-up actually the fourth time I was ever on stage and

I might have been the fifth. I opened for a guy named Sam Kinison. Oh, my God. You got to meet Sam? Well, I mean, he was so fucked up. Dude, that's fucking iconic. It was absolutely crazy because he was like... So there were two comics for me. Yeah. Cosby. I was going to say pre-rape, but they actually probably during. Yeah.

I mean, you're lucky he didn't dress up in a clown suit. Ha ha ha.

I'm sure he has. Or how'd you dress up in a clown suit? One of those sweaters looks like a clown suit for sure. When I think of Bill Cosby, I think of always Christmas sweaters. Yeah, always those crazy sweaters. But his stand-up... It's a little rapey if you think about it. Now when you think about it, it definitely is. Now whenever you say anything about him, you're like, all that seems a little rapey. A little rapey.

America's dad sounds rapey when you say that. Do you know what I mean? Now that you know that, you're like, that sounds super rapey.

I didn't think it did before, but now that sounds extra. Terrible. We're terrible humans. Bill, we love you, I think. No, we don't. Oh, we don't? Okay, fuck. I don't know. I don't know the whole deal with him. My thing is I don't really speak on things I don't know, and I didn't really follow that case. I don't know if he was ever real. Was he convicted? He was convicted. He was put in jail, and then he was on a, I think they'd call it a loop, a technical loop.

A hoopla? Oh my God. Just age. He's out. Yeah, he's out. But my thing is, I feel like, and this is getting off subject, but I feel like I love women and I stand behind women 100%, but I do feel like some women are really abusing the whole Me Too thing. So it's like, do we really know? Well, in this case, you do. Oh, okay. And I think that with every movement, whatever movement you got,

There are going to be some people who try to take it back. Doesn't matter what movement you're in. There's part of your movement that's doing it for their good. Right. Do you know what I mean? But I also think that even if there are some women doing it, it was so important for it to get out what the kind of shit that had been happening there. Right. Because look, look, man, I, you know,

Here's the way I look at it is not every guy when when I hear guys go Yeah, but not every guy cool, but ask every woman in Hollywood if somebody hasn't done something scummy to oh, yeah So not every guy but every woman. Oh for sure. Do you know what I mean? So yeah, so that's I grew up in Vegas. Oh, so you fucking right, right? I've been in the industry for a long time. Yeah, so that's my thing is like I'm with you I try not to speak on things right and

And have I ever seen? Well, actually, yeah. Oh, shit. I've been me too. Oh, fuck. But I was just like, that's flattering. I've

Because you're a dude. Did you just grab my penis for no reason? Was it like Horrible Bosses? I wish more people would do that. Was it like Horrible Bosses? Straight up dude. Oh, it wasn't even a hot chick or a woman? But I'm one of those, look, man, I'm very secure with who I am. So if you grab my dick, guy or girl, I'm just going to be, I get groped. You're just going to go get the clown suit? Yeah, I just go get the clown suit. Wait here for my horn. I get touched inappropriately every meet and greet. Wow.

Wow. Every meet and greet. Everyone, at least somebody, at least grabs my ass. It's like male strippers. Everyone. Yeah. Everyone. And so...

Unless it's crazy. Right. It's just not worth the headache. Right. If you're going to take a picture and I'm going to take a picture of my hand on your nuts. Nah, probably not. Yeah. What if somebody credit cards you and just stares at you? Listen, if you give yourself a Dirty Sanchez, that's your fucking problem. I would definitely do that. I learned my lesson. I did that to a friend one time and my hand smelled like a Big Mac for like a week. Oh my God.

It was sick. And it was a girl. And it was rough. Yeah. You were like... Yeah. I was like, I had to think twice before swiping asses. We used to call it a credit card. I stopped swiping after that. Oh, yeah. It was fucked up. Transaction declined. Oh, my Lord. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

A credit card. I have got to try that on somebody. Do it to Beth. She'll love it. She'll be like, what is wrong with you? I love your wife. She is so sweet, right? You know, like she and I are...

so different in so many ways. Right. But what I love the most about her, well, there's so many things, but she really lets me do, she lets me be. Yeah. Like I take mushrooms at least once a week. I want to talk to you about that once we get back to the Sam Kinnison and stuff like that. Cause I microdosed for my first time yesterday. And? And

And we'll talk about it in a minute. Enough about me. Let's talk about you. No, I mean, I love talking about microdust. No, you've been the person I've wanted to talk to for a really long time about it. But she lets me, look, man, you know, and I'm a little all over the place. Me too. You know, I'm a little, I can't be the easiest person to live with. Right. And she lets, she knows me so well. Like, so yesterday. Okay.

Yesterday. Get ready for this. So Sunday, yesterday was supposed to be the photo shoot for my album that drops on the 19th. Awesome. And I had this whole thing set up the way I wanted it on Sunday, which included the way I needed my hair to look on Sunday. I got a haircut. This lady cut my hair shorter than it's ever been ever. I hate when that happens. Jay does that too before big things. So, and I, and I looked in the mirror. I'm like, this doesn't look like me anymore. And it isn't the person that I wanted to,

So I had to scrap the photo shoot, right? Oh, no. And try something new. But Sunday, that Sunday night, from Sunday night to like mid-Monday afternoon, Beth knows me so well. She knew just not that I'm not mad and I'm not mad at anybody. Right. Like I don't spend time being angry, but I need to solve the problem. Right. So she literally is like, yeah, I knew for a day just to... Leave you alone. I don't need to ask you. Do you need anything? Like...

And I like the fact that even though that's not the way she solves it, she knows that's the way I fucking solve it. So she's like, yeah, just do whatever the fuck you do. I love that. That's how Jay and I are. We just let each other just be. Because when you try to micromanage, that's when shit gets weird in a relationship and tension and you start to resent the other person because you're like, God, what did I marry my fucking mom? You know, like what's really happening here? But I got that total sense from just meeting her that, well,

one time that I met her, just watching her and watching you. And I was just like, they're super cute together. She's the kindest human. Like sometimes I wake up and I'm like, oh, you're still here. Okay, cool. All right, we're still rolling. How long have you guys been together? We've been together since 2001. Oh, wow. So fucking 20 years. And I'm going to tell you right now, we rolled around this morning. I still like every morning, I'm like, I'm ready. If you're...

She's like, no, this is, we're not 30 anymore. She's like, I'm fucking alone. Yeah. No, I get it. I totally understand. I want to have sex when I want to have sex. And Jay always never wants to pull out. He always wants to bust a load. So it's like, I got to go to work out and fucking do squats with fucking shit dripping out of me. Like, no, thank you. Let's do this whenever I'm not busy, you know? So I totally understand you, Beth. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I, every now and then I try to lure her into the room. I'm like, I got to show you something. She's like, show me down here. I'm like, yeah, exactly.

There's a shooting a flower. It's shooting something. I got something for you to suck on. Come here, lady. All right. So let's bring it back to fucking Sam Kinison and Bill. Those were like your first gigs. Bill was just the first guy that I watched. And I was like, this is fascinating. Oh, watched. Okay, gotcha. How he tells stories. And I love to tell stories on stage, you know?

And so he tells stories, but he tells them on a stool and he tells them about real things that happened to him. And he doesn't swear and he doesn't really raise his voice, but he still can keep everybody just pinned on him. Wouldn't that have been great if that had been his cologne? He, uh,

So, and then Kennison was the first time I saw Kennison. I was like, are we allowed to say this shit? Dude, he, Kennison used to say some wild shit. But he was, but what I realized was you can say it as long as there's a reason you're saying it. Right, exactly. And that was his background. His background was that his family was traveling. They were, his father was a traveling preacher. And so he was, a lot of the stuff he said about religion came from

Yeah. So it was so cool to watch him do that. And so for me, you know, I obviously wasn't doing that when I first started. Right. I first started. I didn't come out the gate swinging. No. And my fucking, the show with Kennison. Okay. I, to say I bombed isn't, doesn't even, it's not even the right word. Right. I don't know. So what was your first show? Like the first five minutes they heckled me. And then I,

They got so bored, they just started talking to each other. No. So they weren't even heckling me. Oh. They were just talking amongst themselves. I think that's worse. Way worse. I'm not even interesting enough to heckle. Right. Exactly. And then I just started talking to my girlfriend who was in the audience. I was like, what should I do? And she was like, just stay up there. Aw. And then so what would happen is new people would walk in.

And I only had five minutes. Right. But I had a lot more time to fill. So I just repeated this only five minutes I had. I was like, hey, you guys didn't hear my jokes. Yeah. Let me tell them again. And people like, don't tell those shitty jokes again. Fuck, that is hilarious. But it was like just dropped into fire. And I thought, well, there's no way it can get worse than that.

There's no way it can get worse than that. It's only up from here. And you know what? My girlfriend at the time we were driving home, I remember this. So she said, well, at least you got that out of your system. Right. Not meaning the bomb, meaning comedy. Right. She was like, you can quit now. You opened for Candace in, but you know. Way to say you don't believe in me, bitch. Yeah. I just told her, I go, hey.

I don't know if this is going to be my career, but I'm not going out like that. Yeah, you got the bug. And plus, I think every comic, it's a tough crowd. What you guys do is a special talent to be able to engage and entertain people and make them laugh. Like...

That's hard. Let's talk about our favorite fall scents. I love marshmallows. I love the smell of s'mores. I love the smell of dark chocolate. I love the smell of rain on a dreary autumn night. Not a pumpkin spice latte fan though. Sorry, ladies.

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we're just talking. We're just talking. But to make somebody genuinely belly laugh and to actually leave somewhere thinking like, God dang, he is fucking funny. That's a lot to engage. That's a lot of energy to pull and to put out. So to be able to do that for an hour, hour and a half, or however long you guys go up there for your fucking things, that's a lot of energy.

I have to tell you, I've been doing it a long time and I still love it. It's a passion. Oh, I love it. But I love doing all sorts of silly things, man. I love it when Jelly would come down. I like other people on stage. I like improv-ing. I like it to feel like a family kind of... You're watching like a family revival almost. No, I love it. I think I saw a little gleam in your eye whenever you get to write songs too. Wow.

No, it's awesome. I thought that was really cool that you have that little thing that you have in your show where you guys ad-lib songs and stuff. That shit is fucking hilarious. So I have loved when they invited me to come here and write that song with Schultz and Jelly. Love Andrew, sweetheart. It was so fucking cool to sit there. I almost said the name of the dude. We can't say who was here also.

But there was another songwriter here who was legendary. Yeah. And I was just like, this is how this happens. And I, one of the reasons I love moving here is that this town's packed full of creative people. Oh, yeah. Totally. I mean, Nashville, Nashville is like a southern L.A. kind of like it's just everybody here is trying to do something, trying to either they're a musician or they're, you know, like somebody is trying. Everybody's trying to do something every day.

But I love that. I love the energy. Yeah, no, it's awesome. I love the energy. And it's, I mean, Beth and I have really, you know, we're actually going to Vegas for three months. Oh, are you? When? February, March, April. What are you guys doing out there? We might have to come out there and meet you guys. I think you should. You know what? We're always out there doing podcasts. We're empty nesters, right? So I was like, you know what we should do three months out of every year is just live somewhere else.

I'm the same way with Jay. I've been trying to get Jay to get a fucking vacation home in Vegas for fucking two years. We're going to... Well, we're going to live... We're going to try Vegas this year and then we're going to live somewhere else next year. I think that's a good idea. What the fuck? Why not? Yeah, that's a really good idea. And I will... You know...

I'm a little bit, not a lit bet. Beth doesn't smoke or take me. So I get to, you know, be fucking lit all the way. And loathing in Las Vegas, walking around. She's like over here, dummy. I'm like, I'll drive. I'll be the DD the whole three months that we're here, honey. It's fucking awesome. But I'm psyched to go to Vegas and,

Have you got to spend time out there? Just doing gigs. Yeah. It's not the same Vegas that it used to be. It's a real commercial now, but I mean, there's always fun stuff to do out there. You know what I want to do out there? You know, I do that high live show where I smoke weed and take mushrooms. Yeah. I don't know how you do that, by the way. It's so much fun.

I'm the baby with the mushrooms. So tell me what, tell me, tell me. Well, okay. So I, you know, I've battled anxiety and depression. I've been on the spiritual journey for about two years. I've never had depression in my life. The day I hit 40 fucking literally a day after I got hit with the worst depression I've ever had in my life. And it came out of nowhere. And I

And I believe it was from touching a dead body, but that's a whole nother fucking subject. What? One of Jay's best friends passed away. Rest in peace, Chisel. We love you so much. And at the funeral, I was rubbing his chest in the casket. And literally the next day, I have been battling this depression for the past two years, which has sent me on this spiritual journey.

So I'm completely sober. I've been sober for about six years. I don't do, I used to do, you know, Lord Dervs or my thing, good old Lord tab Xanax. And I used to fucking drink like a fish, you know, and I, for six years I've been sober. Um, so I've done everything natural, like vitamins and just, I'm on a great vitamin regimen, stuff like that. Foods, all that holistically. And I still get, you know, like little bouts of depression. My anxiety is under control now, but now I have this fucking depression. Um,

So I started researching fucking psilocybin and all the benefits of it, microdosing and stuff like that.

And it's taken me about two years to finally be okay with it. She started it first because she battles with depression and stuff like that. She took some, can I, am I allowed to say, took some SSRIs, right? And they did not work for her. And I won't go that route because I'm just already a fucking weirdo. And I don't need a pill to make me even weirder. So I've been scared. And her and I just started discussing fucking doing...

the shrooms. And so she started last week and she started feeling better just in a week. So yesterday, for sure, I fucking took,

The tiniest amount because my body is so sensitive, you know, but I also accidentally took too much fucking vitamin D. So I fucking am puking my brains out yesterday and I'm like, this is it. I can't do shrooms. And I also fucking freaked myself out. So fucking all day long, I'm in bed watching cartoons and fucking just sitting in bed drinking bottles of water because I felt sick from the vitamin D. It wasn't the microdose. Yeah.

I woke up today, I felt a little low, but I took my vitamins, which is just like they're all just made out of like food and stuff like that. It's just really cool line called standard process. I don't know. That's what Beth uses. Oh, good. Yeah, yeah. I love standard process. And I felt better. So, you know, today's going to be day two when I get home. They also made me really tired.

Is that normal? Or was that the vitamin D overdose? Yeah. Somebody OD'd on vitamin D. By the way, that's when you know you're over 40. Yeah, no, for sure. What did she die on? Vitamin D? Vitamin D toxicity. And of course it had to be the D. It couldn't be A or B or C. Had to be the D. Had to die from the D. Yeah. Overdose of the D. Yeah. I will tell you. So for me, also...

Dealt with depression. Yeah. And the mushrooms help a lot. Yeah. But I want to introduce you to a woman here. She's a holistic healer, but she also deals a lot in like Reiki energy, but also in healing yourself through the mushrooms. Wow. She's amazing. Beth uses her, but I want to get you her number. I would love that. And she'll come out to your house and... Yeah.

She's riking me the fuck up. She'll rike you up. She'll stick some vitamin D right up your ass. Oh, I'm down. I love a good vitamin D overdose. The mushrooms... Okay. And one of the reasons that... And so you are... You do keep your body healthy. Oh, yeah. So the mushrooms are natural. Yeah. Which is... And same with weed, but like... I don't do weed. Right. Because of my anxiety. Probably a really good idea. Yeah. But the microdosing is...

The first time you do it because your body is so sensitive, you'll feel happy. You'll never take enough to hallucinate or anything like that. Right. But I would say Monday, Wednesday, Friday, how often are you doing it? Twice a week. Twice a week? Yeah. Twice or three, but I wouldn't go more than that. And just start with like a 0.3 pill. Are they pills? No, it's the actual shroom. So we have to find somebody for you.

And I think I can. Yay. Who will grind them up and put them in pill capsule for you. Dope. And so that way, you know, you don't have to taste them because they taste terrible. I fucking messaged her yesterday. I go, do I chew it? God, I chewed it. It tastes terrible. And I think it freaked me out. It tastes like a camel's ass. Yeah, no, it was bad. And then my throat felt coated by it. And I was just like, oh God, it's not good. And it was the tiniest piece. And that taste is bad. So,

So if people like drink the tea, I'm like, no. Yeah. No, thank you. But we'll get you a capsule and they can come. I would start with like a 0.3. Yeah. And see what happens. Yeah. But I really do like, you know what else it does? Oddly.

How long have you been doing shrooms? Do you microdose or do you just fucking eat them like candy? It really depends. It's like whatever I'm in the mood for. If I take them in the morning, I microdose. But if I take them at night, I'm like, what's the point of microdosing? Let's see what's out there. Right. I want to get to that point too. I want to be able to have a good trip once a month. Even if you get to like a 1.5 grams, which is not trip, but for somebody like you, you're...

I don't know how else to put it. Things will have texture. Right. Well, I told Jay yesterday I shut my eyes and the back of my eyelids look like thumbprints.

And he's like, he's like you, because he's like, you didn't take enough to feel it. And I was like, babe, trust me. My body is so sensitive and I'm so in tune with my body. I was like, I can definitely feel that little tiny bit that I took. So you and Beth are a lot alike. I think the purer that you've kept your body, the more in tune you get with it. And so she'll say the same thing. She's like the littlest little, little, I know you think I'm crazy, but I can feel almost everything.

Oh, yeah, me too. Yeah, it's bananas. Yeah. No, it sucks. A needle going in my vein, I can feel. Like, it's insane. It's just the guy who does our IVs all the time. He's just like, you're a fucking weirdo. It's crazy because sometimes I'm like, did I take that? Yeah. Maybe I should eat more. Have I taken that yet? This morning we did. I had never had a Delta 8 edible. I don't know what that is. God, that sounds fucking brutal. So someone gave me a couple of them this morning.

And they were like, have you ever had? What is a Delta eight brownie? Right. Okay. Oh shit. Yeah.

They're not as strong as the ones that I get to normally take. Right. But it has a different high to it. But I'm on board for like... I was in Portland this weekend. Right. And it was at a late show. And some dude was like, hey, in the middle of the show. I go, yeah. And he goes, you want this edible? And I was like, sure. You're brave. I get scared. I'm like, oh, God. I go, it's got to be in a wrapper. And he was like, yeah, yeah, it's sealed. I go, okay. And so, but like I...

I love shit like that. Yeah. I love that tightrope. I don't know why. Have you always been like that? Been able to do hallucinogenics? I've been so scared of them my whole life and I don't know why. I tripped. I did LSD when I was younger and I saw Satan in my ex who is now deceased. Yeah.

I saw the devil. So I stopped doing fucking LSD. I didn't smoke the sherm stick one time. A what? A sherm stick. What the fuck is a sherm stick? You know, like I don't even know what sherm is, but it's hood shit. But it's like a blunt dipped in like bombing and fluid. Oh my fucking God. You guys have never smoked a sherm stick? Are we the weird ones? Yes.

Maybe that's why I'm so fucked up. You guys have never smoked formaldehyde before? What the fuck's wrong with you, squares? Fucking squares. Come on. No, yeah. Well, that laid me out like a fucking elephant tranquilizer. Oh, no shit. I couldn't even fucking move. It's what you keep dead people in? Yeah. Dude. That is...

Then I did shrooms one time and fucking thought I was Little John and Michael Jackson. And I had a blast. Yeah, is that on camera? No, I wish it was, though. But I had a blast. So I've never had a problem with shrooms. I just, you know, my anxiety just doesn't allow me to be like, oh, yeah, I want to fucking trip balls, you know? But you need to baby step it on your way there. Oh, yeah, for sure. You need to baby step it. But I would definitely try the capsule shrooms.

And that way you don't have to taste it and you don't have to do any of that stuff and take it in the morning. And I'm telling you, has it helped you? You know what it did for me? It also, sometimes now when I feel myself sinking in, I had a realization once where I was like, wait a second, wait a second. I was sad. I took this pill. I'm not sad anymore. Same brain. Yeah. And it was like that realization was like, same brain, same fucking brain. Yeah.

So why not just not choose that? Like I really started to try to get my brain to go, no, no, no, no, no. Make a different choice. Do you feel like the shrooms helped you get there? Yeah. With being able to dissect that? Yeah, the shrooms helped me realize, oh, it really, I'm the same fucking guy. Right. Same fucking brain. This pill. Right. So I have to be able to figure it out. I have to, like when I started doing it, I really was like, okay, so much,

about how I feel or or how I'm feeling when I thought about it was just think about something else just make a different choice do you know I'm gonna tell you something I was a little high but I want to tell you something something profound happened to me this weekend oh what a year I love that I love high epiphanies I have been in a little bit of a spiritual search myself and um

And about changing my attention and choosing happiness over... Isn't it crazy when you get to that point in your life? Oh my God. It's like the shadow work alone is exhausting but so rewarding. Why do most of us spend our day...

Thinking about what we can't do and what we don't have instead of what we can do and what we do have. Amen. Do you know what I mean? Oh, 100%. But for whatever reason, our brains are wired. Like when you have a conversation in your car, it's never a good one. You're never talking to somebody about, hey, thanks for those shoes. I love them. It was like, hey, motherfucker.

Like you're all the stories you tell yourself, make yourself mad. Right. Or you it's, I have to do the next thing. Yeah. It's always, it's never live in the moment. It's okay. What do I have to do in the future? Yeah. The minute you open your eyes, we're programmed to, okay, I got to check my phone, check my emails. I have to, you know, do this work. How's the kids doing? You like the minute you open your eyes, you're,

you're we're hardwired to have anxiety pretty much of getting through the day and what we have to get done. But life is so cool. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Life is so fucking cool. And a lot of times, look, we all life has ups and downs and it does. By the way, I know people who don't have money and I've had not had money for a big portion of my life. Yeah. Look at people who don't have money like they don't have problems. Right. Yeah.

no that's not true that's not the truth at all and in doug stanhope was if an amazing comic but he does a whole bit about you can't compare sucks and you can't because what sucks in your life sucks with the same extreme as what sucks in your life right you you're a different live in different houses different socio it doesn't matter right the suck in your life adds the same stress as the suck in your life right i was talking i was in a cab with this dude uh an uber

And he pulls over and it was, he, the Uber car was different than the license plate was different, but he knew my name. And I go, um, I go, Hey man. He goes, Hey, Hey, my name's Hussein. And he goes, he was telling me I got this rental car and the Uber hasn't done it. And he had all the paperwork out and we get in the car and I go, cool. I go, um,

You know, how hard is that? He goes for a guy named Hussein. That's what I laughed when you said his name. Because he goes for a guy named Hussein. It's impossible. It's impossible. And he goes and people say some really mean things. And I go, oh, I say people say mean things. I said about what? And he said, you know what? And I said, what do you say? And he said, I just say no English. And I said, why? And he said, because you know what? When they used to get me angry, then they get out of the car. They don't remember me.

But I'm stuck with that anger for the rest of the night. They gave me that energy. I don't want that energy. And you know what he said? He said, I decided from here on out, I don't want anger. No more anger from me. And I was just like... Blown away. Yeah. And he goes, so I just don't accept it. And if I feel myself getting mad, I think about why I'm mad.

And what's better? Because when you're mad, you're never in, you can't solve why you're mad. It's impossible to solve. Anger is not productive. And so that's, that's what he was just like. I would rather solve that problem. That's making me angry than to stay angry. And I was just like this fucking Hussein. Fucking mind blowing dude. Fucking Hussein. But the very next day,

Look, man, the people in the restaurant business right now are in the shit. Nobody can get enough people.

You know what I mean? And everybody's out of the house at once and they have no staff. So I understand it and I'm travel a bunch. So I get it. We were at this place in Portland. I won't say where it was, but not only did the, was the food wrong twice, but there was hair in it. Oh shit. The, I asked, I was like, Hey, when I ordered the coffee, I was like, can you get it with steamed milk? And then, and she goes, nah, the bar's too busy. He won't steam it for you. And I was like, okay. So all this stuff, right?

And I had just said something to the owner about, I was like, look, I don't need any money back, but like there was a hair in the food. It's just weird that, and I've worked in food and beverage my whole, it's weird that nobody came out and apologized. Yeah, that is strange. Or said, hey, you don't have to pay for the one with the hair in it. Right. And she went. Or here's a free donut. Yeah, she went off. Wow. And my son was with me and my daughter.

And I was looking at her and I heard who's saying like, Oh, because you know what? He's a little angel. She probably, she, she was like, we're understaffed. She started reading out her real problems, but had nothing to do with the hair and my fucking food. Right. But this is like, and I was like, yeah, man,

Yeah. You know, have a great day. Just have a great day. Because if I had gotten into it with her, that shit would have stuck with me. And you would have been pissed all day. All day. Yeah. And just fucking... Yeah. No, I get it. Do you know what I mean? Mm-hmm. And I really have implemented it the last...

Since that and I'm just like this fucking Hussein. Yeah might have changed my life Crazy just by fucking that one car ride that one car ride with that dude Just I don't want to be angry. I'm like me It's just like mind-blowing Totally mind-blowing I love lessons like that and like epiphanies like that because those are the ones that will stick with you for the rest of your life and

Like you're, you're never going to forget Hussein. No, you know, no, that's just awesome. Because I think that is going to, that is almost like I was telling Beth, um,

I've been working with this sentence in my brain of these things of how I've been fixing my, not fixing, but evolving. And that car ride was like the period to the sentence. I really told her, I'm like, it really felt like that one thing that I was like, what am I missing? Oh yeah, that, that, that part that's still in my life. I don't, I don't want that part anymore.

Yeah, isn't it crazy how the universe will serve you what you need on a dish just like right in front of you like here you go If you eat it or don't eat it. Yeah, if you're willing to like learn look at it I'm telling i've been listening to this dude's podcast and you can say his name. His name is jim fortin and um So much what he says is real common sense for me But there were some parts that he was talking about that like that thing I was telling about when you talk to yourself in your car and stories you tell yourself

And I was always a real negative talker to myself. Call myself a piece of shit. Do you know what I mean? Like whatever you're fucking, this is why this is. This is why this happens to you because you're a fucking piece of shit. You don't, it doesn't happen because you don't deserve it to happen. And that's the track that played in my head. No matter what was on the outside.

And this dude was like, listen, you can say what you want on the outside and you can keep trying to do different things. But it's not gonna change who you are, who you are. Right. If you keep telling yourself you're a piece of shit, that's or you don't deserve that stuff. Guess what? You're never gonna get. Right. That stuff. Right. And he said, even if you get it, you're gonna lose it because inside that's who you think you are. So you're gonna figure out a way to not have it.

And he even, one thing he was like, look at these lottery winners or even Mike Tyson who had all this money. They get that money, but inside they're poor. Yeah. So they're going to do what they, you wonder why lottery winners lose all their money? Yeah. Because. Or croak. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. But it's fucking crazy. No, it's crazy what you speak into the air always comes back to you. We have a thing in our whole, in our friendships and relationships where I always say put it in the air because it's,

what you man you can you manifest with words like your life started really believing that no it's real it is so my life is a manifestation I have always envisioned being a musician's wife my dad was a musician you know so like always being a musician's wife down to the car that I drive down to you know having my own you know podcast that's doing great like

Literally, I always said 50 to 70,000 downloads a month whenever we first started just to get a guest on here. I would fake it till we make it. I would be like, I get 50 to 70,000 downloads a month. We get 50 to 70,000 downloads a month now. It's fucking awesome. It's fucking crazy when you just really speak something in your life and you just believe it. You're just like, bro. And then it happens. That's the craziest shit. All right, let me ask you something. Because I really am starting to believe this. No, it's real. Because...

Look, we're all 70% water, right? Energy affects water. So your energy, your water is going to affect somebody else's water. The energy you're putting out. Like that makes sense to me now. I didn't always believe in energy. And then I remember a buddy of mine was like, listen, dude, walk into a concert, a sporting event,

Where the home team's winning. Can you feel it? Oh, and you're like, yeah. And you're like, he's like, what is that? Absolutely. It's just, it's, you can't deny that. You can't deny that. Sometimes somebody walks into a room and everyone's like, Oh, that feels terrible. Nicole Arbor. Right. But you know, but, but you were like, if that feels like,

It doesn't feel nice. Yeah, no, for sure. And so like Jay's concerts. If you go to Jay's concerts, you can feel the pain in his crowd. Yo, that rhyming. Electric, right? That rhyming. You know, Beth and I, I go, let's go out there. Let's get in it.

So, so it's a combination of pain. And by the way, I must've missed the Nicole Arbour thing. Oh yeah. I'll have to fill you in. She's not, she's only worth that two seconds. Okay. Um, so, but, um,

You can feel the positivity. Yeah. And you can, you know what? It's like, it's the closest thing for church that those people are going to get. It's an emotional and spiritual experience. Do you know, do you know every, so when I, what strikes me the most about his shows is, and I told him this just when we were at Zany's, I was like, the connection your fans feel with you is not a normal artist to fan connection. And I,

There was every walk of life in the crowd, every shape and size. And what's amazing is that every different shape, size, walk of life sees themselves in him. Oh yeah. The most unlikely person you look at, they see themselves in him. And it is such an endearing, um,

I don't know how long ago he asked me. He was like, will you open? And I remember I put it in my calendar. And then he called me the day before. He was like, I forgot to call you. And I was like, it's in my calendar, dude. Do you know what I mean? Because that's the type of dude. And I'm sure that's the type of loyalty he gets from people. Oh, yeah. Because that's...

You know, you want to be on that team. Yeah. Now, Jay is... He's the king underdog, you know? And he goes... He's for the sad souls, the broken. He's for the people who... The voice of the voiceless, pretty much. You know, people don't... And I don't mean this in a mean way, but a lot of Jelly Roll fans have a really hard life. People don't give them a chance. He gives them a chance. He also...

When you look at him and you hear a story, he gives hope. Hope, yeah. He gives hope. He's like a pastor. I can be in the jail cell and that's what I can end up doing if I just decide to take another path. Totally.

that it's very powerful just his whole who am i yeah now i'm daddy i've wanted to take mushrooms with him too oh he's fucking hilarious i feel so bad the last trip that he had i was fucking so anxietied out it was tripping me out so him and his brother got so fucked up in gulf shores that they went crabbing all night on shrooms oh my lord

Yeah. No, you got it. Listen, one time though on fucking tour, I'm so glad I wasn't there. He did acid and shrooms together. Oh no. He fucking literally, what are those things called? Jet ski? No. What are the things that you ride around town in? The birds? Oh, the bird scooter? Yeah, the bird scooter. He rode around on one of those for nine hours screaming through the streets. Just yahoo.

He would FaceTime me and I call him the human pineapple because his hair would be standing up like this. His eyes, oh my God, Josh, through the fucking FaceTime were just, he looked like fucking SpongeBob with a pineapple top. Like it was crazy, dude. I couldn't believe it. He's a nut. And then like if I can four o'clock in the morning, he's like, I don't want to do this anymore. He's at Denny's trying to stop her out there.

in Utah just fucked up and I'm like babe go to bed he's like I can't yeah acid and mushrooms I just heard last week some people drop the liquid acid in their eyeballs how

to have those balls. Like who couldn't do that? Let me ask, how high do you need to be? Are you trying to meet God? Because that's what's happening. Under the tongue wasn't fast enough. Directly into your fucking skull. That's like I had a buddy of mine who used to put vodka soaked tampons in his asshole at work. So nobody would. I can't even talk shit because I used to put cocaine up my ass. No. Yeah.

Does that get you higher? It's so good. Does it really? Does it get you higher? So you get like a little baby syringe things and of course you don't have the needle, but you put the line that you want to do in there and you put it with water and you just squash squash right up the old hooter and fucking you don't get the drain. Yeah, but does it drip out of your asshole? No, I mean mine's tight. So...

And cocaine is expensive. So I'm clenching anyway. I'm getting every last drop of that shit. So listen. But no, you get high as hell without the fucking aftershock. This was years ago when I used to party. But yeah. Tampon soaked. Okay. How did he figure out to do that? Well, because I think he wanted to drink at work and not get caught.

what a fucking savage. Yeah, he was in it. I have to tell you, I guess I'm just a regular old mouth, mouth ingester of drugs. I mean, I don't need it in my eyeball. I don't need it in my asshole. I just, just the mouth. You know what I mean? Is that, am I crazy? No, no, no. I mean, am I old time? I'm an old timer. No, no, no.

No. Just a mouth. Listen, when you do drugs, like hardcore drugs, you get weird. You know, shit gets weird. When you become an addict, shit gets weird. And I was addicted to cocaine. You know, I was fucking just, I heard your hooker story in fucking Vegas and I couldn't relate more. I used to be one of those girls who knocked on the door. Oh, let me tell you something. That worked for a service. Can you tell the hooker story? I can. I really want to get back to you and to, you know, like, I know we're going to get there, but.

The hooker story. I didn't, I saved the end so that I didn't hear the end. I only got to where she had the peephole covered. Oh,

Yeah. Do you remember those, the pamphlets? Yeah. They would slap you. Oh, absolutely. And it's a service that you're calling. Yes. So you're calling a service. There's a phone. Hi, baby. Yeah. You know, like, yeah. Great. They got to make sure you got the $2.50, you know, or the $99, depending on what flyer you got. Yeah. I think we got the cheaper flyer. Yeah. Okay. Oh, it might have been $49.99. Yeah.

but it was it was wow it was so we call this woman yeah because my my brother i had never had a hooker right and uh my brother i love that the brother was in on it too he was like he's like i'll go to sleep yeah yeah which we never we know is never right he was like you you you should you should just try and if you don't like you don't do it again but like

Let's give it a run. Right. And I was like, yeah, all right. You know, I mean, everybody needs a hooker one time in their life. I mean, let's, I've ordered them. Yeah, let's do it. Right. So we got up and I called and these, there was only a couple of women left in the service and they offered me a petite Asian or a giant Puerto Rican. Yeah.

and I had had sex with petite Asians before. Right. I had never even seen a giant Puerto Rican. And I like things a little, like, you know what I mean? Yeah, thickums. We love a thickum. I like them thick, and I like also, like, why am I going after something that I... Already had. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, this is Vegas. Went in Rome, baby. Red Rover, Red Rover, send the Puerto Rican on over. Right. You know? And so we sit there, and we're...

We both kind of nod off and go to sleep. Yeah, they take forever, those bitches. Yeah, they take forever. I was always on time. It was about my money. But I think they have to know that most people are going to be asleep.

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And I didn't wake up. I was like, you know what? Fuck it. Let's just go back to sleep. Oh, they don't go away. No, they're like Jehovah's Witness. They stay there until you answer the door. You know? Yeah. And so I started to creep over.

Because I really did want to see what a giant Puerto Rican looked like. I want to see what a giant Puerto Rican looked like. And so. Think of like A-Rod. And also, I wasn't sure. Are we talking about heavy giant? Right. Tall giant? Right. Muscular giant? Which type of giant? So I kind of creep over the door and I think I'm being quiet. And I slide my head up and I go to look at the people and she's got her thumb over the people.

And she must have heard. No, they look in the peephole and they can see your shadow when it's coming. So she goes, you got to open the door to see the goods. That's a good bitch. Yeah, dude. And I was like, this sounds like someone who's been rejected through a peephole before. Somebody's looked at that peephole and been like, yo, no thank you. I'm not opening up that door. Oh, shit. Oh, my God. No.

When she... There were a couple things that were different about her. So when I opened the door, giant Puerto Rican. Probably... This is the part I don't know. She was taller, way taller than me. Wow. And... Was she thickums or just tall? Tall. You know, had...

was a little wiry with the, with the vascular. So I was just like, I, first thing I took a quick gander, the old Adam's apple gander just to make sure. You never know in Vegas. Right. Right. Um, and so I was like, you know what? We're good. You know,

come on in no adam's apple i'm plowing i actually did i asked her i took a look at the adam's apple and i was like hey i go this is gonna sound weird i go can i see your knuckles oh no did she know what you're talking about she was like this and i go yeah come on so how you can tell if a girl is a girl by her knuckles hand man hands i got man hands

No, you do not. They're little fat, chunky sausage. Yeah. But you look at the way you take care of them. First of all. Right. So you can tell. Okay. Gotcha. Okay. Cause I got some little sausage links over here. Yeah. But they're, they're like the knuckles and the beat up part of it. It's just different. It's just different. I'm going to be looking at everybody's hands now. Oh yeah. You definitely can tell. I'm doing it. The, the one thing that threw me with her,

He says she was carrying a bigger purse than I was used to seeing. Oh yeah. Do you know what I mean? She's got all her hose supplies. Yo. So she walks in. The first thing she did was she saw my brother. She goes, no. Well, yeah. Cause there's two guys in a room. She goes, nobody says two. I go, no, no, he's asleep. He's passed out. And she was like,

You don't think I've heard that before? Right. And I was like, probably. That's probably right. You probably have heard that. And I go, he's really, I promise you he's asleep. And I picked up his arm. And he was just, he's not a pill guy. And he had taken his anti. And he was out. I go, he's out. And she goes, okay. And she put down the bag. And the bag sounded heavy. So as a joke, I go, what's in the bag? And she goes, maybe you'll find out later what's in the bag. And I was like, well, now I kind of want to see.

Yeah, like... No, let's take a look at what's in the bag. Yeah. And she goes, I got a couple of rules. And I said, okay. Oh, they got a bunch of rules. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

She goes, rule number one, don't ask me my real name. And I was like, you think we're going to be Facebook friends? Like, I'm totally cool with me not knowing your real name. She goes, no sex from behind. And I said, why? And she goes, I can choke you. Well, but she was also, she's like, I don't want you taking off your condom. And I was like, taking off my condom? Oh, God. I have one on my asshole right now. I have one on each foot. I'm coming out like the boss.

- I'm like the boy in the plastic bubble. - I laminated the tip of my dick show. - Yuck. - I'm pretty good with, I go, do you have problems with that? She goes, yeah. 'Cause guys say it doesn't feel good.

- No, who's, what the fuck? Yeah, that's a hard, but that was right when I was like, guys are fucking gross. - Oh, yeah. - Who's raw dogging? - A lot, thoughts, that's what we call it. - Who's raw? - Oh, they do, it's called, okay, so I don't know if you know this, I've been in the adult industry for the past 20 years. I still am, but more like OnlyFans online stuff.

And they have what's called GFE, which is girlfriend experience. Yeah. And those girls will suck your dick without condoms and they will fuck you without condoms. It just seems. And they do about five or six of those in a day. No. Yeah. No.

Yeah. And I'm not knocking it. You know, some of my girlfriends, they're in the industry and that's what they do. And they make a shit ton of money. But do they get like, how often you got to get tested? Um, a lot of the girls back in the day, whenever I was working, uh, didn't get tested.

They didn't know, you know, what was going on unless something presented itself for them to get tested. Nowadays, I'm sure people are a lot more safe. They must be. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because when she was like, and this was a little bit ago, it was pre-bath. Yeah. When she was like, yeah, you know, I want you to take it off the condom. I'm like, yeah, not a problem. Yeah, we're pretty good on the no condom thing. And then, so this is the thing. This is the weirdest. Okay. So she was bigger than me.

And she was like, you got an hour and you're on the clock. That's crazy. She even gave you the full hour. But she said you got an hour. Right. Which probably doesn't mean. And I basically was like, hey, just, you know, we could watch an entire episode of Friends. Just call it a night. Have sex. We still have time left in the hour. So that's where we're going to be. She was like, so she took. Here's what was crazy. She took off her shirt. She gave me a little.

She gave me a little tap to the chest to sit me on the bed. I was like, boom. But she was so much stronger than me. She knocked me over on the bed. And I made this noise. Because I wasn't expecting to get knocked out. You know, she was just... And then I was just... Right away, I was like... Was that like a boner killer? Yes! Yes!

Because right away I was like, this could go bad real fast. And my brother's on a Xanax bar. Yeah. And what she got in the bottom of that purse. Like what's about to happen? And so here's when it got really weird. Ready for the weirdest of the weird? I can't wait. Because this was not, I believe we were, because I was not rolling in any sort of dough. I believe we were on the $49.99. Special. The blue light special. I believe we were on that pamphlet. Right. Yeah.

So she takes off her shirt and boobs look good. But again, you know, she looks jacked. Yeah. You know what I mean? She's got like shoulder. You know what I mean? Yeah. Look, shoulders and wiry. And she takes off her bra. This was the. So she had one real titty, one fake one. Oh, wow.

So we got one of these. Oh, no. Her left titty looked like it had a stroke. Oh, no. And her right titty was looking at me. Oh, no. Her left titty looked like Stallone's lip. Like, hey. Oh, no. And it didn't have an implant?

implant in it? No. She got a one for two. A Groupon? You can't get a Groupon. In Mexico. Puerto Rico. I asked her about it and she goes, yeah, I couldn't afford to get them done at the same time but the doctor said he'd do one and do another one

And I was like, hey, you should have saved up and just got them both done at the same time. Because this is fucking really weird. And she was like, most guys don't care. I'm like, yeah, well, I'm going to call this a night. Before we go any further, you can already beat the shit out of me. And I was like, let me. And she got insulted. When I told her, this is it for me. I'm not going to. She was like, give me the money. And I was like, totally all right.

She was mad at me. She was like, are you insulting me? Are you saying that you can't? Oh my gosh. She was like legitimately angry. She wanted an extra hundred dollars, which I did not have. And she made a threat about making a phone call and having somebody come. Yeah. Cause those services. Yeah. Right. Well, she'll get in trouble with the service is why she was tripping so bad. So she was like, I'm going to need a hundred. I don't, she was like, don't make that person come to the door. Right.

And I was because, by the way, I was assuming that since I thought she could probably kick my ass. Yeah. That whoever was coming to the door could definitely. Do you know what I mean? Right. If she can kick my ass. Right. And then I just heard my brother go, I got a hundred dollars in my pocket. Oh, shit. Your brother was listening the whole time. That is. You're like, I'm in this fucking situation because of you, Dan. Yeah. It was fucking. I had to give her two hundred dollars and we got her out. And Dan was like, I go, Dan.

What's the deal dude? I go, what's getting uncomfortable? He goes, yeah, I just really wanted to see if she was going to pull a dildo out of that purse. And I go,

that's what you were waiting on? He was like, yeah. He goes, I go, were you going to let something happen? He goes, nah, but I would have let it get real uncomfortable. That's a brother. That is such a brother. Yeah, he was like, I was going to let it get real uncomfortable. So you've never ordered a hooker since then? No, you know what? I met Beth soon after that. Oh, and you didn't need hookers anymore. She's pretty great, man. Yeah, she's hot too. She's hot. You know, and she wouldn't want me to tell you how old she is, but...

She's like, she's so like, I don't even know how it still happens. You know, part of that has helped our relationship is how much I travel. Yeah. Oh, same with Jay and I, we always have our separate time. It's very important when you're married and you're in a relationship to not be up each other's asses.

Literally, Jay left for, what, two days last week? And we missed each other so much just being away from each other in those two days. We go two weeks sometimes without seeing each other. And it's healthy. Isn't it fun to miss somebody? Oh, it's so fun. I love that. Just the reconnection and just being giddy and just being so happy to be around them. Because it lets you...

When you're away from somebody, you think about the good stuff. Yeah. And so you romanticize them over and over again in your head. So it's not like the same, not that you wake up and you're like this bitch. Yeah. Like, God, I got to do this again. Oh my God. But you, you get to re fall in love because you're romanticizing. Oh, I can't wait. Or you think about the good times. So I agree with you, man. I think it's like for us, it's been,

Fucking 20 years. I mean, geez, that's not, that's nothing to scoff at 20 years nowadays, especially in the fucking, you know, business that you're in. And she's actually writer director. Yeah. So, I mean, you guys have seen marriage just fucking fall apart quickly. I'm sure. Yeah. Industry that you guys both work in. So, but I think it's for, for everybody, you know, I think something, the biggest, the biggest, um,

thing that we didn't do to each other that i think some people do when they get married is hey i married you great hey now there's a couple things i'd like you to change and you're like no bit you wait we got we got married yeah so you were all in already right but i always think it's unfair for you to people get married and be like cool but now you need to change this part yeah i've never understood that women do that a lot to their men and i'm just like i could

I love Jay the way he is. Right. If he was any different, I wouldn't want him. Like that's weird to me. And I don't get off on trying to control somebody like that, you know? So I think letting your significant other just be is the best advice that you could give anybody. Yeah, man. And, and have enough confidence to know that that's okay. Right. That you don't have to be there and see everything and know every person they talk to. Jay and I have an open relationship.

So even when he's on tour, if there's a bitch he wants to suck him off, fucking go ahead. As long as I know about it so I don't have some bitch in my DM fucking like, I sucked your man off last night. I could be like, oh yeah, I know. He told me. As long as I know beforehand, completely fine. You know, but that is such a... It's funny, right? Some people would...

put that in one category i think that's so evolved it's crazy yeah like the because you're putting your love for each other above everything else yeah above of making that truly is the most important thing yeah i love you you love me this is how you treat me this is how i treat you and this is how we like to live our life yeah and everything else for that yeah totally

I mean, I just I love bitches, though. I like to watch Jay get sucked off, too. So we have threesomes on the road and stuff like that, too. But I also my dad was a musician and I've seen my dad. My dad is fucking 70 something years old. Shout out, Bill. Love you. Fucking. And he does not have a normal relationship to this day because we're.

women don't accept him for who he is, you know? Jay and I run wild together, you know? And that's one of our things that we pride ourselves on. We at home, it's very like, you wouldn't even know, we're like super square at home. But then on the road, we have this other life where it's like, we have fun and we do everything outside of the house.

So that when we come home, we can have kind of a normal house for Bailey to live in. Do you find that people are, when they meet you, are a little surprised sometimes?

or think you're going to be different than you are as far as wild and crazy. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. No, for sure. It's, it's the element of surprise I live for. I think it's awesome because most people would look at me and they would be like, Oh God, she's fucking naked on the internet. She's fucking shows her butthole on only fans. Fucking, you know, like, and where else are you going to show it? Right. I mean, I'd be reckless to do it on Twitter. I,

I mean, for free? Come on. Fucking, you know, and I just love surprising people. That's actually why I named my podcast Dumb Blonde. Because people look at me and they're like, oh God, another fucking stupid blonde. And then I open my mouth and they're like, wait a second, she's got substance. You know? And it was kind of like an homage to Dolly Parton too because she's the ultimate dumb blonde. Yeah, but that, she is. Yeah. I mean, I love listening. And she's not dumb. No. No.

I love listening to interviews with her. Yeah. But that's what struck me the most. I listened to a couple of your podcasts, obviously.

And I was like, oh, she's really smart. No, thank you. Yeah. Appreciate that. Like in that it makes sense. The two of you together to me makes total sense and a reality show about you guys, which is an unconventional, but a very conventional family. Yeah. Because what to me, what's conventional is that you guys love each other and that you have a family unit. That's to

To me, what a conventional family is. But how you love and all that other shit is up to your particular household. Yeah, totally. You know what I mean? I'm psyched to see...

I'm psyched to see how that turns out. Yeah, it's gonna be fun and Mimi keeps is keeping me in the dark I don't know if we've got picked up or what's happening, but they're already planning on shooting and stuff I'm telling so much I don't even know if i'm allowed to say all this but they're already planning on shooting like next year and stuff So we're like they're planning on shooting then Yeah, for sure So let's get back to you real quick. Okay after Your significant or not? I don't even after your girlfriend ex-girlfriend didn't believe in you. What happens then? Oh, well that was um

because we kind of left it like a cliffhanger i went to seattle i started doing stand-up up there i met a dude named joey diaz oh okay yeah yeah jay loves joey yeah that's my guy man and and um joey and i and a couple of the dudes um let me think if there's anybody else a guy named brody stevens who passed away a couple years ago um we all started up there and it

I just caught the bug. Yeah. You were like, this is what I want to do with the rest of my life. I just caught the bug. And then I met a girl who had two kids and then she got pregnant. And then we moved down to California together and just started trying to do it, man. Yeah. And did, you know, I guess I didn't know. You think you're ready. Mm hmm.

But then when you get down to Los Angeles and you see like professional professionals. Crazy, right? Yeah, you're like, got it, got it, got it, got it.

We watched that special on, I don't know if it's Netflix. Jay's obsessed with the comedy circuit. Like he loves that. That's all he'll watch podcasts and comedy. That's it. He fucking doesn't want to hear rap music. He doesn't want nothing. Yeah. But we watched the thing about Pauly Shore's mom. Mitzi. Mitzi. Actually. Yeah. Yeah. I actually just talked to Pauly Shore the other day. Yeah. Crazy. He was here. It was. Yeah. Yeah. He told me that. Um, I met Pauly fucking probably, uh,

fucking 20 years ago when I was stripping in Vegas. He used to hang out at Olympic gardens all the time. Sounds about right. He's a sweetheart. He's a real sweetheart. Um, yeah. So we watched that and just seeing how cutthroat the industry is, but yet how much of a family you guys are.

Is really cool. Well, you know, comics are a bunch of broken toys. Right. And nobody gets on stage because they feel good about themselves. Right. I mean, that's not... That's a really good way to put it. Nobody's like, I feel great about myself. Let me stand in front of a bunch of strangers and have them judge me for an hour, you know? And let me talk shit to them about them. So I went down. And honestly, I wasn't going to be any good until that...

The relationship was just not good. Right. Gotcha. It wasn't good. And so we split up. I ended up keeping all three of the kids, her two kids and my kid. Oh, that's fucking admirable. Most people wouldn't do that. Most men wouldn't do that. I think it's, you know, I was raised by a single dad. So I think that's really cool. Yeah, you get it. So they're your kids, you know? And then what a weird thing happened. So I couldn't afford therapy. I was making a thousand dollars a month. We all lived in one room.

And so the stage ended up starting to be the only place I could emote.

And so I started to be able to tell the difference between telling the truth on stage where, and before that I had just been telling jokes. Right. And the difference in the reaction from the crowd. Because people were starting to connect with you. Well, they, they connect with honesty. Right. So they, right. They connect. And some of the jokes weren't as funny, right? Right. They weren't laughing as much because I hadn't figured it out yet, but more people came up to me after the show and talked to me.

Because they connected. Right. And that is what we all want. Right. And so that was such a good way for me to be like, ah. And then I did a one-person show that was part comedy and part, you know, just stuff about raising the kids by myself and figuring out how to do it as a dad and all that shit and still trying to work my dream and all that shit. Right. And I got a couple TV deals out of there. And after that, I just...

I never, I took a long break from standup. Yeah. Because I was writing on TV shows. I wrote on a show called Yes, Dear. I wrote on Will Smith's show. I wrote on a show called Cuts. And then I did Last Comic Standing.

And then I started to get back into standup a little bit and Chelsea called. She was like, hey. Were you guys friends or just knew each other from the circuit? Both. We had done some drugs and run around together a little bit. Every time she comes here, she heads fucking Jay up for shrooms. Yeah. We'd done some drugs and run around together. We had gone to one party together.

where we were taking ecstasy and, um, to see her on ecstasy would be fucking awesome. Yo. Okay. Does she turn into like a complete sex, a kitten? Okay. Wait. So, I mean, cause I could have, cause I know how I am on ecstasy and I just fucking love everybody. First of all, to me, I, okay. Again,

You have to like, but when she goes, she goes. Right. And I like that too. Like, you know how many drugs they do? However many you got. Right. You know, so. The drug of choice is more. Yeah. So let's not. What do you mean? Do I want to do more? Is there more? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So.

Just not up the butt. Right. I don't need to like, just the mouth. Just a mouth drug. What other mouth drugs do you have? I'll take a mouth. I'll take a mouth mushroom, a mouth edible. I'll, you know, I don't need my alcohol in my asshole. I'll take it in the mouth. I mean, that's just, I know it's crazy, right? But,

I know I'm going to get a lot of comments after this. This fucking asshole only takes his drugs in the mouth. What kind of dick? Fucking California guy. All he does is drugs in the mouth. Fucking loser. Yeah. No, not at all. I'm sure people are going to be like, okay, Bunny used to shove cocaine up her ass. Noted. Another fucking weird thing she does.

I listen, I spelled how you said that comedy is therapeutic for you on stage. My podcast has been nothing but therapy. I mean, everybody knows everything about me, so that's amazing. No, it's how you got to be though. Um, what was I talking about? Chelsea doing extra show. We went out and, um, she, she goes, I told her we're going to this party and we're walking to this party, right? And she goes, Hey, yeah, she goes, follow me. It's gonna be fun. And she starts to limp just a slight limp.

And there's a pool table. I was a friend of my house. I'm with my brothers, cousins, friends. I know everybody here. Right. And she tells everybody she's got a wooden leg. Oh, what? I'm like... Now, here's the thing. Here's what I love about her. Let me tell you what I love about her, okay? Is that she... These little jokes, she does them all the time. Right. Like...

She likes big jokes and the little ones. Right. It's just for fun. It's just to keep things kind of fun. Right. Shock value too. So, and a couple of times during the night, like the limp change, I'm like, you changed the limp. But, but, but I love doing it all night playing pool, pretending to limp with the leg.

And my brother was like, oh my fucking God. On ecstasy. That's a talent. My brother was like, where'd you find the fucking pirate? Dan. Yeah. Fucking Dan. But, but, uh, I like Dan. I got to meet Dan. We went back to my friend's house. It was me, her and my buddy. And my buddy is not a big drug guy. Okay. Yeah. And this story right here tells you why I,

love her. Yeah. Right. And we're not that close anymore. Like life is what life is. Right. Right. Um, life is, life comes in seasons. Yeah, man. And I believe there are chapters of your book and sometimes people live in certain chapters and, and there shouldn't be any spilt milk over that. Sometimes you just drift apart, you know, and reconnect. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not. Yeah. And so, um, but she, uh, my buddy's like, you guys want to take some more exercise? And she was like, you want to take it now? I'll take it now.

And my buddy is dude Gavin. And he goes, all right. He goes, but you know I freak out if I take ecstasy by myself. So you promise me you guys will stick with me. Because it's two in the morning. Oh, fuck. You guys were fucking pulling a fucking all-nighter. And we go, yeah, okay, okay. He takes it. He swallows it. And Chelsea looks at me and goes, ready to go? Yeah.

And I go, what? She was like, I'm not staying with this fucking guy. She goes, I just wanted to see him trip out. And he was like, what? No, you can't leave. And she's like, oh, I'm not staying here. I'm not staying here with you. Are you kidding? Oh, my God. That is so funny. So Gavin goes, you're not leaving me, are you? I'm like, yeah, it's actually pretty funny. My board ball is going to leave you. It's going on.

This dude. I still had a pager. This dude must have left a hundred messages. No. Oh, my God. Just tripping out on ecstasy all by himself. Yeah, he was like, is that you in the alley right now? Are you in the alley looking up at my window? Oh, my. He was seeing shadow people. That motherfucker was fucking tripping. But she will, if you leave her an opening. Oh, yeah. I don't know if she's still like this. Yeah. We've all mellowed out a little bit.

But if you were at the office and left your computer unlocked, she's going to send a terrible email to somebody. Oh, shit. From your account. Oh, no. Something fucking awful. Oh, no. I think one person on our staff, I think, left it open. And I could be wrong, but I think she sent a terrible email to HR. Oh, no. Oh, no.

But just like that's her. Right. It is what it is. She's the boss. She's the boss if she can do what she wants. That's right. So you have an album coming out. Let's talk about it. This is my favorite thing I've ever done. What is it? So since I've come here, I've really started jumping into music. Yeah. And so. I could see your passion for it. Like I said, whenever I was at the show. Fucking love it.

And I really like to create all the time. And so when I first got here, the first thing I shot was I found my very first CD and I was like, I'm going to rewrite every joke on the CD because I wonder if I'm a better writer now than I was then. Right. So I took it and I rewrote every joke and I did it live. One take streamed it. And I,

There were some jokes where I told the old joke first. So you then you could see how I rewrote it to the new joke. Right. So it was very experimental. And it was a lot of talking straight to camera. And I was like, this is fun. Yeah. Let me try something else I've never done before.

I've never done like a music special. So, and I brought a bunch of people on stage. You know, I had, I had a Chris Kirkpatrick from NSYNC came up and did a song with me. I think Jay got to meet him too. He got to meet him. Taylor Lynn was Loretta Lynn's granddaughter came up and her voice is like ridiculous. Yeah. But then I did a little stand up up front. I had some old dude sucked another dude's titty in the front row.

Didn't even see that coming. That wasn't part of the show, but we got it on camera. Holy shit. That was in the first like seven minutes of the show. I'm like, it's going to be a great night. Yeah. No, you know it's going to be great now when titties are getting sucked. This was the most fun. Now, I hate watching myself. Right. Fucking hate it. Yeah, I think everybody does. I have had to watch this to see what I want to- Critique it.

I watched it the first time I watched it through and I turned it off and Beth was like, I just want you to know, I've seen you do that a million times. You smiled the whole way. And I was like, yeah, like that was so much fun to watch. Yeah. I can't fucking believe it. And so that's what this is. This is not a,

I'm not Bill Burr. Right. I'm not a dude who's out there in my comedy right now, in the past I have, but right now I'm not out there tackling social issues and shit like that. You're enjoying your life. Because... Eating shrooms. Yeah, I think people just need fun. That's what I'm saying. You know, spiritual journey, baby. We just need some fun, man. Yeah. And so this is just an hour and 20 minutes of fun. But here's what I would tell you, man. Much like Jelly, I decided a long time ago,

I'm not doing, I'm not selling my stuff. Right. I'm not selling it. And so that YouTube one that I put on that first special years ago, I was like, yeah, I don't need those people. I got more views on here. So I, I paid for it and produce this and doing all this myself. And I don't know when this comes out. Um, this will be out in probably about two weeks, two weeks. All right. So then it came out on the 19th. Right. But, but, um, this special, like,

I do is music in a lane that nobody's doing right now. Right. Is it, is it original songs or is it like parody? Some, some original songs, some parodies, but it's also got 40 minutes to stand up.

That's awesome. So like nobody's ever really done that. No. And it's an hour and a half because I like a comedy special, but like an album form. It's like a what are they like a variety? Yes. Yeah. Variety hour. That's kind of and you saw the show. Yeah. That's kind of how I like it. My show is never the same. I did five shows this weekend. They're all different. Yeah. And it's a living, breathing thing. Yeah.

And so that's how I like it to be. A little loose, a little crazy, but you kind of know what's going to happen when you get there. It's going to be a good fucking time. Just a good time. And so this was the thing I'm most proud of, without a doubt. What's the name of it? Here for the Fun. I love it.

Yeah. You can just see that in your place in life right now, that's really what you are all about. You want to laugh. You want to smile. You want to have fun. Yeah. And I think right now with the way the world is, everybody needs that. Man, that's what this was supposed to. So when people come, by the way, it just got nips out cold. That's the spirit in your head.

Yeah, but I think so, man. I think people need that right now. They do. Everyone takes everything so seriously. I'm so fucking tired of people online. Like you cannot fucking go a day without all the negativity that breeds online. When I did my microdose yesterday, I didn't want to touch my phone. No. I did not want to be on my phone. I had to force myself to post a picture. Do you know that since I've gotten here,

I walk my dog. I don't, I don't turn my phone on actually with the special I have in the last week or so, but in general, I don't turn on my phone on before noon. Wow. I probably need to start doing that. I'm just like, what the, what's, what's really happening? Yeah. What's real that I, do I really, do I give a shit? Do I really need to put that another fucking stupid picture? But so I, yeah, I mean, it's been amazing. And the shrimps have helped. I,

I bet. I bet. So here for the fun drops on the 19th. By the time you guys see this, it will already be out. So where can people download it? All on my YouTube channel. Everything is for free. So just go check it out. And then, yeah, man, because for me, the views turn into what I want them to turn into, which is

people who come to my shows you guys gotta go watch here for the fun jay and i are definitely going to contribute to it too i appreciate it josh i it was been really fun talking to you man i fucking really appreciate having you here i can't wait to have you back you got to come back keep coming back and just be a regular on the show from now on i'm ready

Let me know. And maybe we'll microdose and do one. Dude, that would be awesome. Let me get a little more far ahead in my journey. Because all we need is me seeing purple elephants tripping out and having to go to the hospital. By the way, that's good content. Oh, fuck.

That would actually be really good content. You have a show. Tell people where they can see your show where you eat shrooms and fucking talk. I do a show called The High Live. You can find that on all my socials. But also, if you're here in Nashville, on October 31st,

I'm doing another one of my extra bonanza extravaganzas down at Zany's, but we're going to, it's good. There's going to be a costume contest. There's going to be a lot of weird shit happening that night. Oh, it's going to, it'll be a fun. I know if it has to do with you, it's going to be a blast. It's going to be a good time. Tell people where they can find you on your socials. At Josh Wolf comedy everywhere. And on YouTube is Joshua comedy comedian, Josh Wolf comedy.

for tour dates and you know all that jazz yeah we're just gonna keep having some fun yeah thank you so much for being here thank you for having me this dude coming out from the curtains is like my fucking have you seen he's been poking his head out so it's like he's wearing a robe he looks like fucking Liberace so crazy with his gold chain around his neck he poked his head out like yeah I love him he's

His body is the best. Dude, he's robust and he's got the biggest butthole ever. Does he? Oh, it's like a fucking crater. Open butthole? Look at it. Well, he's sitting down. He's got it robed up. Hold on. Yeah. Call him. Be me. Call him. Josh, look at the butthole. Take a gander at that hole. Wow. Is it always open like that? Oh, and it puckers. When he gets excited, it protrudes. You know what? It looks like something you'd find in the ocean. Yeah, but really dry. Yeah.

Thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Dumb Blonde. I will see you guys next week. Bye. Let's talk about our favorite fall scents. I love marshmallows. I love the smell of s'mores. I love the smell of dark chocolate. I love the smell of rain on a dreary autumn night. Not a pumpkin spice latte fan, though. Sorry, ladies.

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