Sloan Bella: Mystical Mother
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What's up, you sexy motherfuckers? Welcome to another episode of Dumb Blonde. Today, we have our mystical mother here, Sloane Bella. I know you've been called a lot of things, but you are our mystical mother. I love that. I look up to you. I love that. I'm so excited to be here. It's so exciting. Dude, so I walked in. Sloane has this package that she literally wrapped to the gods for me. And we got it open, and it was the most beautiful obsidian box.

It looks like my own personal eight ball. Like it is the most amazing gift I've ever gotten along with tons of other crystals and stuff like that. Like it was, it was really cool. For the new studio. Oh, to raise the vibes and have it go really well. I appreciate it so much. It was such a pleasure bringing it because it came off my set to your set. Oh,

Oh, I love that. Yeah. Came from my home to your home. Literally. It was one that I use that was out every day. So I wanted to bring it to you. Yay. When I find the perfect place for it in the studio, I will video it. I'll make a video and I'll tag you in it so that you can see where it's at. Awesome. Sloan, I'm really stoked to have you here. Like I have, I've been nervous, not going to lie. Cause there's some things I want to ask you about, you know, Jay and I, and like just life that I'm, I don't know if I want the answer to, but it's like, you are the most honest person.

Trying to be person I've seen on the internet who just keeps it 100. I dabble in all things. Like, I guess you could say a cult and I'm obsessed with death. And like, I love just everything mystical. Yeah. And,

when you came across my radar, I was like, who is this woman? And then the more that I studied your story and got to know who you were as a human, I was like, this is my long lost sister. We probably are to some degree. Yeah. It's crazy. It's so interesting. Yeah. Because we both left home at 14, uh, just decided to up and go. I think you were in a warmer climate. I was not, I was here in Vegas. Oh yeah. No, I was in Toronto. So it was more of a stupid decision, you know?

to run away with just the clothes you're wearing because it was pretty cold. Freezing. Yeah, it was October. It was our Halloween, Thanksgiving in Canada. So I remember when, do you remember the day you decided to run away? Absolutely. Like I can visualize it and everything exactly what I did. I did. I took a purse. I took my Marilyn Monroe book and out the door I went. I took a trash bag of clothes. Did you? Oh, you had a trash bag. Yeah. And to this day, I pack up everything in trash bags.

It doesn't matter how much money I have. I will literally throw all of my clothes from my closet in trash bags. And just so I can, that's how I move clothes. Yeah. That's probably the best way to do it till you hang up. Yeah. You can hang them up. I mean, cause they're going to get wrecked anyway. So I've never understood people who fold their clothes and put them in boxes. Like if I can put them in a bag, dump it out and sort it out and throw it out and give it away. Yeah, absolutely. So I kind of feel like we do know each other in the sense we went kind of in two different directions and,

both sex work, but a little bit different. Well, let's, let's circle back. Let's start from the beginning. Cause I want my, you know, followers who don't know your story to really get to know you, where you came from and how you came to be this just

mystical mother. I love that you call me that. You are. You're right. You're just like, I look up to everything you do. I think it's amazing. Oh, that's awesome. Because my greatest gift was being a mother. So that was the thing I was here to do. I love that. That's what I feel. Yeah. And looking back on my life, there was one thing and it was that. Let's talk about your childhood and where this all started and all that.

Okay, so it's kind of interesting because I was adopted. So you never really give much thought as to what happens because you don't remember. You're like a newborn. Okay, so your mother. Go ahead. My mom had me and gave me up after she gave birth to me. And I went into the foster... I was in foster care for 10 months. So people I don't know were watching me. And it's interesting because it didn't occur to me that that would be trauma until my son just had...

our second granddaughter and I'm watching her and she's not even the age I was when I was adopted. And I see all the love that went into her. And then I'm like, I have no memory, no pictures, no memory, none of that. I mean, you don't really remember, but I can see with my granddaughter how loved she is. So it, it occurred to me this week looking at her cause she's nine and a half months that she's so cute. Um, looking at her that,

did I recall like what happened in that timeframe? They say trauma starts at the moment of conception. I'm pretty sure. Yeah, they do. There's a book. I'll tell you, I'll, I'll get you the name of it. I believe it. Yeah, I believe it. And I know, I know people say, cause my parents adopted me at 10 months and my adopted mother, who was a nightmare for people who know she was very, uh, well educated business woman, uh,

Overpowering and crazy. Okay. Looking back on it, I think she may have actually had a few screws missing, but it was difficult. She told me something and she said she kept coming to the orphanage or she called it that. So whatever the place that housed the baby housing place. And she was looking for a child. She was at 40 looking for a child. And she said, I was the only one. She came back three times and I was the only one that called out to her. So that's karma right there.

next life I'm not doing that right very clearly well not not doing it do you believe that you signed up for that though like you came here for that lesson or what do you think it was I you know I know people like to say that in the past few years I've changed my mind I believe I was kidnapped here actually like I'm being dead serious I think I was hijacked here or maybe people change after they make the agreement and then we're stuck in that until we're not

But I did walk away from it. I do know when you're adopted, you don't hold attachment to a lot because they, they, my family would say, you know, we chose you this and that, which technically yes. And I think that led me right into stripping, honestly, because it's like, pick me, you know, pick me. And so I never correlated it, but I actually believe that now. And I

I found it extremely difficult. They were very educated people and well-schooled and very proper. And I'm sorry, I'm laughing at that because I'm so not proper. We all have to laugh at our trauma. Yeah, I know. I really laugh at that. I was absolutely not proper. My mom was British and, you know, you had to sit down and wait for dinner to be served and clean the table.

It's good etiquette, but they were so like, you need to marry a man and be a secretary. And I'm like, yeah, no, I'm sorry. No. Even at a young age, you knew that that's not what you wanted. No, no, absolutely not. When I was a little kid, I used to tell my mom, I'm going to go to California. I don't know why I had that in my head. And my husband's there.

And, you know, and he was. And he, well, yeah, anyway, he was also Canadian. So it was really interesting. That too is karma. So the childhood stuff was good. I had the usual. I went to private boarding school, the usual for the British. Okay, I'll say it that way. In Canada, boarding schools, I would get expelled. You know, I was naughty. Expelled, expelled. Then I went to private school, expelled. You know, that kind of thing. And I would never stay in school. I wouldn't stay put because I couldn't.

didn't grasp what they were saying. I guess if that makes sense. Um, it was dumb to me and I was no good at math, but I was good at English. So I would stay for English and art and then gym and leave or what we call physical education and then leave and get in trouble constantly. And when I was really little, like first and second grade, you'll love this one. I know you'll appreciate this. Did you ever get yelled at in school for talking too much?

I'm smiling because I got expelled from school. There you go. I had to sit at the table and have wait till dinner got served. I had to clean up the table. All that nonsense. Literally like I was. Nonsense. No, it's crazy. That's why I'm smiling because I'm just like I got kicked out of every school I went to. I was called to. I got expelled from school and kindergarten.

for ripping a boy's shirt off of him because he was talking shit about my dad. There you go. He deserved it. Yeah. No, for sure. But just listening to you talk, I'm just like, Oh my God, it was the same. It was the same. And,

What I found even more interesting, which is a psychic trait. So I was in school and I was no, my aptitude for math was ridiculous and it didn't have any and et cetera. But yeah, I mean, I can count money. Yes, I can make money. That's all that matters. I'm like, who cares if I can do an algebra now in our forties? Nobody said no one ever. I used to argue that and get yelled at for that too. But

I love you. You know, I say, what am I going to do? Actually, in astrology, you do kind of need algebra, but now computers do it all. Yeah. So I don't, but I did. I got humbled by that at one point when I was learning how to do a chart. Right.

I was in a special class for, they now have like learning disabled classes, but I was dyslexic and ADD and a whole host of God knows what, hyper, hyper person, right? And so I went to a special morning class. I don't know what to call it. I would use a derogatory term, but I won't. Kids in my class couldn't.

could not see, they could not hear. And I could do all of those things, but I was kind of raised through grade school in that class. So it really undermined my confidence. I didn't think I was that smart because I was over here and the other kids were there, but I was able to read braille to little kids. That's what they had me in there for. So I was like, okay, like littler kids that were behind. They didn't have the, the,

school system that we have, that our kids would have now. So I felt not very smart, but I didn't care because I just wanted to be pretty because I had a mother that would say, you know, you look...

insert insanity here. So it was very competitive with her kind of. And she was looking back on it. She might've been like a closet alcoholic. I'm thinking, and it was so detrimental, but she did teach me good things because she was a good business woman. She was a strong focus business woman and went through three separate careers late into her life. So that part was good. I knew that a woman could do that. She was super strong. So I liked that. I took that part of it.

And my dad was the smartest man I knew. Super smart, educated, so smart, could converse on anything, alcoholic and crazy. And so I kind of grew up in a house and I'm sure your other guests have said it, but I call it covert sexual abuse because

I didn't know the name for it, but they took like the bathroom doors off. So I had to shower in front, you know, so look at the life and then move into stripping. You see? So it's kind of a, a way that my parents took the doors off the hinges too, but not the bathroom, but to my bedroom and they nailed my window shut and put bells on the door. Like you're a bear. Literally. I mean,

Here she comes. Here comes this rebellious ass fucking kid. Yeah. Yeah. That, um, just even having your privacy compromised at such a young age, you learn one, not to trust people. Nobody. And two, to literally skate on thin ice and watch like you're, you become like, um,

It's like if somebody moves a certain way, you can read it like you can read. Oh, yeah. No, I'm triggered by certain people like I'm always not so much now because I don't care. Actually, going through menopause, I don't care. Like I do what you got to do. I don't care. When I was younger, I was more nervous, almost to the point of like not trying things, you know, hiding and.

staying hidden I also think it's a psychic thing because the school I was telling you about with the weirdo classes sorry kids the weird classes was it was because I was perceptually not picking up what other people did but I'm psychic right so they tried to correct that out of me I think

Did they? Okay. So we're winding back when you had an encounter with your dad where you asked him, where do we go when we die? Yeah. I asked him. Yeah. I said, what happens when we die? I was, I distinctly remember four turning five and he said, you just, you rot in the ground. I hate when people say that. I think he was drunk at the time. Yeah. Who says that to a four year old? I was so traumatized. I ran up to my bedroom, hit under the covers and I was like, Hmm,

what happened so then I'm then me personally I'm thinking well then I should just die now because who cares that's where I go I'm like if I'm going to get there anyway then so it made me a little bit like suicidal a little bit oh my gosh at four or five yeah like I thought why would I be here like

what is the point if that's it? And we just rot. I don't even want to play this game. Like I remember thinking that. So thanks so deeply like that too, at such a young age is, is wild. It's yeah. It's, it was obsessive. Well, I'm OCD too. So it was obsessive thought rumination. Um,

But the next thing that happened is my dad's mom came to me, but I didn't know who she was. She's just a lady that appeared in my head. Was this the first time you had ever had a vision or had you been having them before you asked him what happens when we die? I had been seeing aliens. I call them aliens, but I called them earwig men actually growing up because they look like big, tall, nomadic creatures.

with the tarps on them. But they had like... You know what a near-wig bug is? Kind of. Yeah, it has the pinchers. Okay, yes. And the legs? Yeah, the legs and the pinchers. And they stand... So these...

look like that in the face, but covered in like robes. And there would be around my bed every night. So I was already waking him up with those stories. And he just thought you're just being a kid. I went to, no, he thought they thought I was crazy because I was adopted. They can then use adoption against you because you're not theirs. You see? Hmm.

so it's like you're crazy so then the visits to the shrink happened and I'm like I can't help it I'm saying you know I never denied it I never tried to change it I just said no they're earwig men at first they looked for bugs and they weren't bugs I said no these are men and I always say I thought they hid under the bed they didn't in the closet I didn't know where they came from they were around there so when my I technically grandmother adopted but I didn't know her she died years before I was even born when she appeared I woke my dad up like I

Snuck down the hall, tap, tap, tap. He slept closest to the door, so that's why I could get to him. And I told him there was a God. That was what I said to him. Yeah.

And he got so mad. I want a little psychic baby. Yeah. I would love the shit out of a little psychic baby. I'd be like, just, oh my God. He got so mad. Like he was like, get to your room, wake me up again. And then the spanking started, all of those things, you know, because they wanted me to shut up basically. He was raised very religiously, I guess. And then as happens, had an issue with it.

My biggest problem with religion is how can you be religious but not spiritual? You can't, I don't think. Well, one's man-made. It's insane to me. Right. It's insane to me that people preach all this love and this and that, but they don't practice it.

No, that's man-made here and it's money. It's earthbound. So if you, you don't have to go to church. You do not have to go to church. I never went to church. No one, like my dad was off the church by the time I came along. So there was no church. I went with the neighbor kid a couple of times, but that was at her family's request when I stayed over there. But

You don't need church. You either know there's a God or you don't. Yeah. I grew up in church and I, you won't catch me in one now because I don't think that the, the people there are just hypocritical for the wrong reasons. Yeah. And it's manmade and, and it's, it's skewed for them to control the masses. So it's a little bit of a hypnotic for the masses. Um,

And God is in you. Like your creator is with you, period. You don't just end up here and need man to tell you what to do. Right. In my opinion. Exactly. And I just feel like Jesus was a Capricorn. He was a hell of a lot cooler than people try to make him sound. He was not black and white. No, no, no. He got mad at people. That's what I always say to him. When people go, people say to me, how can you swear if you're spiritual? How can you do this? How can you do that? And I'm like,

Jesus did. Like, what are you saying? He wasn't human. He was in human form. He was the son of God walking in a human shell like we are. So I get to cuss you out because you asked me a stupid question. Has Jesus ever appeared to you? Not me. No, but I do feel the spirit in me and I can feel it around me. But no, I have not had that happen. I would love that to happen. Yeah, that would be amazing. Wouldn't it? Yeah. I have not had that happen. I have had visions though of...

When I'm talking to people who have illness, terminal illness, like they could be my friends. And actually they were my friends. And I know they're getting ready to pass. And this one friend in particular was very Catholic girl. I saw like the Virgin Mary come around her weeks before she died. That's how I knew she was going to die. Like I saw what she prayed to coming around her. So I was like, okay, she will pass soon. I didn't tell her at that time, but I just knew it.

And she passed on Palm Sunday, which was really interesting. Yeah. We're going to dive into some death talk later on because I have been listening to how you have like predicted a few people's deaths and I'm like, okay, well I'm going to just going to have a sit down with Sloan and we're going to talk about death. I don't pick that up around you, by the way. Thank God. All right. Thank you. Um, but,

So the circling back to, you know, you're this four year old girl. You're being told that what you're saying is wrong. You're being sent to shrinks. You're being spanked because of these visions you're having. Take me on this journey. And how are you feeling? Like, are you still just like, no, I'm right. Or are you just like giving into like thinking maybe there is something wrong with you? I always felt.

like I didn't belong with them, but I don't know that I felt right or wrong about it. I just knew. So I didn't even attach like a judgment to it. I was like, I just feel, I kind of just feel like they can say what they want and I can say what I, I didn't argue except with my dad. Like, you know, this went on from four to 10. So it went on like six years. And at the end of it, if I even opened my mouth, he would come flying at me across, you know, he would just like be like, that's it. And he couldn't tolerate it.

I wonder if you were triggering something, a fear in him. Yes. Yeah. Maybe you were sent there for him. I think so. Because after he passed, which my son hates when I tell this story because he's like, I don't remember. And I'm like, because he was a very psychic child, my Jason. But when my dad died, okay, in 2006 at the age 80 something, whatever, older, and he passed, he came to my son. I did not get the phone call because they're in Toronto. Okay.

And we're here. So they were waiting for us to be awake after Christmas. And my son told me before I got the call, he came downstairs and he said, you know, that grandpa, they only met him once. And he goes, you know, that grandpa with the dogs, it was poodles. I said, yeah. And he goes, he's in my room.

And he said, there is a God. So he came through my son, which was tremendous for me and a nice acknowledgement. Confirmation. Yeah. Because when they cross out of the physical, we do go to different levels. So according to your belief system, like if you really want to go somewhere that isn't with God, you can go there. I mean, you're never stuck anywhere. You can kind of transition through different levels as you choose.

um it's your belief system and he obviously he crossed over to a dimension I don't believe we go to heavens a lot of the religions say you're here and then in heaven right that's not my understanding of it at all so we go through different levels kind of like school but I don't want to say school but different dimensions do you feel do you get to pick them or is it just how you've lived your life that lifetime and how you gave back and what you did that

Picks the level that you get to go to next? I'm not sure. You know, I can't really answer that because when my son passed, I noticed the work that he was doing was work. He is working on the other side and I had never seen that, but he shows up in a position of helping from the other side. So he went right into kind of helping people, which was an interesting concept because some people I see that are in school, other people are just having fun.

Some people are watching their families. Like when my dad passed, he was around me for 15 years. Like I could pick him up like that. You know, he was there. He's like, I'm here to help you because I put you through so much shit. He was watching. He was actually watching like what I was doing. I felt, I felt. And then suddenly the energy was gone. So they will transition. And when they either, and again, time is much different. Time is meant to keep us stuck here. We are kind of

um, I feel, I don't know that we all choose to come here. I have to say that I really don't believe that. I would love to hear your theory on that because I always feel like I have always, but I don't know enough and I'm always open to learning. Yeah. I have always felt like I, maybe it's my way of coping with my trauma, but I always feel like I picked my parents and I needed to learn these lessons in this life. And that's what has made me the woman that I am today. Absolutely. Um, I agree with that part of it. Yeah. Um,

When I look at that, though, they tell us that. And I don't know that I hear that. Sometimes I do hear souls are sent here to heal and to teach. I don't think that I'm one of those because I just refuse to say I came here. She's like, I am not of this world. I am not. I did not. But I do know they do. There are healers and teachers that come down as people to maneuver around people, right? But I feel...

I know that kids can leave before the age of four if they don't want to continue on this incarnation. So we have from birth to four. And if you really don't want to be here, I know the soul can leave easily. Obviously they're kids, right? They could do anything. I feel like children are so much more in tune with the other side. Oh, they are. They live more on the other side. They see, they, they have a whole thing. And then we're taught it's not real because if you knew it was real, you'd be like, why am I here?

Right. You'd be like, why am I here? Yeah. And as you get older, more of your people are over there than here. You know, I mean, like when you get into your 70s, most of your friends or parents and siblings have crossed. So I actually believe some of us are... I believe the reincarnation cycle was hijacked, to tell you the truth. Wow. So I believe...

Some of us were forced into coming back here because when we crossed out, we went where we thought. But I think they kind of steered us down the wrong path. Like a kind of spiritual warfare? Yes, absolutely. I am not convinced we're all supposed to be here. And a lot of new age, I know you hear it all the time, it drives you crazy.

They say you can co-create. I'm like, tell the people in Ethiopia that they can create whatever life they want because they cannot because the whole country is gridded and the energy is blocked and stolen. So they cannot. Neither can Haiti. Neither can wherever. That makes sense. Yeah, they can't. So stop saying that. Is it what only first world countries that we can do it? Yeah. So see, that's profiteering off of spiritual. So they haven't had enough

I don't know. People just think it's nice to believe in. I think it depends on the person. And I think sometimes we jump into something. I'll tell you, I had a experience once with somebody who passed away unexpectedly and of an overdose and their sibling, when I saw the sibling pregnant, I knew it was that person coming back.

Because I dreamt it, right? And I thought, oh my goodness. And all the way along in the pregnancy, I was like, they were deciding whether they were going to come back in because they wanted to complete the connection, but had OD'd. So they left early and then tried to come back in, but chose not to be born. So that was a stillbirth. And I saw the whole thing. I saw the soul making that decision, like, you know, in the way of this person as a person. Like, I saw it and I knew what was going to happen. I did not tell the person, but when it happened...

I was like, yeah, I thought that was going to happen. So it's interesting. That soul made a decision first to come in and be pregnant, maybe to clear the karma with the sibling, you see, and just live in the tummy and then leave. So I'm not quite sure how it works really. That's wild. That's really crazy. I definitely want to look into that more. Sun exposure ages your skin and increases risk of skin cancer. You already knew this.

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I know. I'm like, let's talk about it, baby. So certainly back to your childhood, you're growing up in this house. Take me on this journey. Like, are you still seeing visions? Do you, as a child, do you start talking to them? Do you? The way that it works for me is I'm very clear audience. So I hear things and then I just blurt them out. Okay. So that was annoying again.

Hello, blah. Annoying child. So it's kind of like you had to learn how to wrangle it. Yeah, and you have to learn to know what it is because you can say something and think it's going to be...

It's a combination of feeling your body and wording. And the wording can come from outside of you, but it comes from inside of you. Like, just say this. So when I say it, I get a feel for whether it's my crazy mind or if it's psychic. I also dream things, but not as much anymore. And I used to be what's called, I think they call it a trance channel, meaning I would...

In order to connect with people that have passed on, I would step out of my body. So my physical would go to sleep and they would, they say it means they come into your body, but I was not coherent. Like many a friend when I was a teenager say, you know, you just dropped off for 10 minutes there. Wow. Like I wasn't on drugs. Right. Contrary to what my family thinks. Yeah.

But I would step out and I was able to connect through that. And it has to do with the frequency of the body because it's very hard for them to connect with us and we have to heighten our energy to get out. So to actually do readings awake and like this to talk to people, it's kind of athletic with energy. You have to raise your vibration up. So you kind of have to know how to do that or you get drained because your energy goes whoop and then drops. So when I was a teenager, I would just... I call it stepping out. I would actually...

This would shut down like this and I'd step out and I would see them and that first happened when my best friend passed on a motorcycle so I was like 16 turning 17 and He was 18 and I did not know he passed until I fell asleep for 10 minutes and saw him And so my boyfriend at the time said you just were like acting like you were hugging somebody and taught but you're you weren't awake and

So and then I woke up and said, oh, my God. And then had to track him down and find out what happened. He came very, very clearly to me. So, yeah. So I physically was somewhere else or on the astral level, actually. It's out of your body and it's right here. Is it ever a scary feeling to be out of your body or does it always feel peaceful? Oh, it doesn't feel peaceful. No. OK. No, no, no. I mean,

I don't know about then because I can't remember. I had a lot of anxiety. But when I'm out of my body, I kind of, I call it like an airplane grounding back in. And sometimes it's very bumpy. You jolt in and other times it's smoother. But I call it grounding in like an airplane.

do you ever get scared that like your soul will get snatched while you're out of your body? How do you protect yourself? I don't know. Um, yeah, no, I mean, I'm like fascinating. Yeah. They tell you how to protect yourself. I actually pray to God. So I ask in the name of Jesus to protect me. Yeah. I wear crystals. Like I have all my jewelry is kind of crystal to align it so that they can't get into my head. Uh, you know, uh,

I kind of feel like I pray. I go in nature. That's the quickest way I find. So I find grass and trees and usually a dirt trail and I start walking up it. I try to eat right. I don't get high or drunk because that will, because you won't even care. Yeah. So I don't do those, but I don't know that you can protect yourself if it's going to happen to you. Right. I don't know that you can. I'm not sure. I,

I have always, ever since I was a little girl, and I've said this on multiple podcasts, seen spirits and dreams. I've had people who have crossed over that have come to me that I didn't even know they had crossed over. So why do you fight it? I just, it's not that I fight it because I've actually made peace with it now, so it doesn't bother me as much. But I don't know if I, I never want to steer anybody the wrong way, and I don't know if I am...

the right vessel for like anything other than myself. Okay. So that's perfect for now. That's perfect. Exactly. Okay. So first of all, when you read energy, you are just giving information like,

your phone, your phone. The phone doesn't judge me or you. If I'm calling you and I scream at you, the phone is not like, oh, I shouldn't have dialed her number. The phone does not know. So we are a wire. That's it. So if you have something to say to somebody, say it to them. Yeah. And just say, I'm giving you this. Do what you want with it. Yeah. Because you hold, I don't care about being right or if, I mean, people can call me crazy. I had one woman insist I was wrong. I'm like, fine. I do not care. Yeah.

That's fine. But I give the information if I get it and I don't judge it anymore. When I was younger, I might have talked around it because I'm like, who says some of this stuff? Yeah. Crazy. But yeah, no, you, if you get it, give it because they're coming to you because you can hear them. Yeah. So it's like driving to Vegas, you know how dark that road is at night.

And if you see a light and your car breaks down, you're going to go to that house. Now, what if they don't help you? Right. So they want you to go there. That's why they're coming to you. They want you to do it. And it is part of what I think you're here to do if you can do it. So whether you like it or not, like none of us...

grow up and do it. I did not. I've tried to get out of this. I don't. It's not. No. Yeah. You're like, do you feel like it's almost like a, I don't want to say a prison sentence because that sounds terrible, but it's almost like exhausting. Yeah. It, it bugs the living shit out of me and people yell at me. You know how they get at you online. Yeah. Like a bunch of bitches. Anyway, no offense to the good ones. Trolls. Troll ass bitches. But welcome to a

yeah that's what they are but they say oh how do you how come you get mad when people you know ask you for a reading I'm like I had people in my house from the age of 20 up until covid yeah like my entire life has been just reading yeah and they came to me physically like like they come to your studio they came and sat down my kids grew up I mean decades yeah four decades like stop

You know, and I'm, I mean, I'm trying to talk on a live show about something, let's say, and they're like, do you do a reading? I'm like, go away. Yeah. You're like, that's the last thing I want to do. Just let me do my thing. It's like if you're a hairdresser and you go to eat lunch and then somebody's like, could you just cut my back? Shut up. Yeah. You're like, leave me alone. Yeah. So it's like that. And other times I don't want to see things. So there's certain things that,

I don't want to see. And that again comes, and it comes with the death of my son. And when my stepson passed, I saw both of those things and people mistake it. They say you're not supposed to speak about something like that, but I actually saw it. And here's what I learned from telling both stepson and son that they were going to pass. I didn't know which one of my sons. So I told both of my sons to hope that one of them listened, but here's what I learned.

A soul is going to do what they're going to do anyway. And you can tell them, is that going to stop them? Now that comes into, we have no control over our lives. So there's exit points in life. And I do know that we have three or four, like my son, Keith, he had several different exit points where,

What was so interesting, and this comes to your reading point, about 15 years before he passed, I went to an astrologer friend of mine to ask business stuff for my husband, actually. And he was looking at my chart and my husband's. He kind of will look at them together. And he says a bunch of stuff. And he's like, you're going to have a child that dies. And I said, right out of his mouth, like almost the way I do it.

And I said, oh no, you mean my stepson? So he said, no, one of yours. And I never forgot it. I told John, my husband at the time, I told him this. And the minute our son passed,

this astrologer's name came right out of our mouths. Like we were like, damn. But I started to get the information about two months before. So it happens for me like that. And I blurted out like he blurted it out. He was that kind of a psychic. Like it happened to me. So never ask somebody something you don't want an answer for because you may get an answer. You don't. I was not expecting that. I asked about business and his psychic side took right over, even though he was an astrologer. You see, he immediately looked.

Wow. And it was horrifying. And then when my kids turned 18, I was like, they're 18. I'm good. You know, when they're 18, you think you're good. Yeah. Not so much. It can happen. And I also remember my husband saying, God wouldn't.

do that to me again because it was his stepson who passed who was nine months younger than me so my husband had two grown kids when I met him so my stepson and stepdaughter are I'm right in the middle of them and I was good friends with my stepson and I told my husband now I said it's not God who does that we're not living on God's planet down here that is not who is here and souls have their own journey and path so they will leave when they want regardless of what we're told in society and

Right. You know, it has nothing to do with that. So even if there is a murder, you know, something along those lines, I don't know why...

that is happening because if I can't remember killing you when you kill me I'm just gonna come back and kill you again hello I'm coming after you again see you know I will never stop it so right as a soul I'm coming back after your ass Sloane's like I got a vendetta I'm coming back I'm living as a Scorpio now yeah um literally I'm coming after you so I don't know

that we even understand karma except to say that it is balance. It is not vengeance. So people often say, you know, this one hit me. It's karma. I'm going to do this to them. No, it's balance. So maybe I need to learn balance. Maybe last life,

I didn't want children. And so this life, my son came to me who I wanted desperately. And then he left. So maybe now I know that I'm balanced in that feeling. Do you believe in past life regressions? Oh, 100%. Oh, 100%. Yeah. I've seen past lives. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I've seen them. Yeah. I always think I was like some regal queen. But then I also think I was like some fucking bad bitch warrior. Yeah, you probably think fighter.

Yeah. Throughout generations. You know? Yeah. Well, you have class. And now. Yeah. It took a long time to find it. Well, no, you would. But you would be different. Your soul would be the same. So you would be in positions of power throughout your life to elevate other people, which is what you're doing here. You use a play on words calling it dumb blonde because this stupid society thinks you're dumb. Hello. Not dumb. Yeah. You know, like anything but. Yeah. And so you using the play to educate people. It's in your face. Smack. Deal. Mm hmm.

Oh, yeah. No, I'm very tongue-in-cheek with everything I do. I'm going to say it before you can. Yeah. That's... Oh, my God. Yeah. I will out myself on everything. Oh, for sure. So you can't get me. You can't blackmail me. Oh, nothing over me. You said something in a podcast that I watched last night on the plane. You said...

be real, say what you want and get it out before anybody can ever have anything on you. And I was just like that. That's how I've lived my life. Absolutely. I love that you preach that to everybody. I do. It was hard. Now my husband is going to hate me for saying this technically ex-husband, but we all know John. So I'm going to shout him out.

Shout out, John. Yeah, there you go. My man. Anyway, I met him in a strip club. Okay, so... Yeah, we're going back to your childhood. I haven't forgot about that. I met him there and he did not want me saying that out loud. Now I'm like, stripper, stripper, stripper. And so, yeah, it was funny because people carry their own shame about stuff. And I'm like...

Whatever people's preconceived notions are, it's they're going to have, you know, that from the Internet. They call. Absolutely. She's an alien with with, you know, a horn on the back of her head. What? They make up the wildest. I fight them all the time. I'm like, fuck you. Fuck you. And fuck you. Yeah. Like I shut it down all the time. Yeah. It's you know, I'll tell you something. I have a good message. My my son, Keith, that passed when we started my channel.

I got so mad at this woman. She was trolling me. I'm like, I'm going to cross search her name. I'm going to find this woman.

You or me. I swear. I'm going to find your grandma. I'm going to find your aunts, uncles, your whole bloodline. I'm going to find your car. I'm going to flatten your tires. I'm going to fuck you up. So my son Keith, he's sitting there and he was so, he was a Scorpio moon, Sagittarius Scorpio moon. And he's sitting there and he's like. Oh, wow. That's emotional. Sagittarius sun, Scorpio moon. Yeah. And a Leo rising. So he also had swagger. Oh.

And he was very cute. And he said to me, Mom, do you think Kobe worries about trolls? I'll never forget it. And I'm like, I don't know. I want this woman's number because I can't see straight because I'm so immature. And he's like, no, no.

Kobe laughs all the way to the bank. Now stop looking for this woman and go film some more. So I always remember what he said. What would Kobe do? So that's, yeah, so that's what I say, but he had to teach me that and he, it was in 2018. So I was like, okay, I'll listen to you. We love Keithy. Yeah. He was so cute. And, um, my husband's a Sagittarius. Yes. I love Sagittarius. I love, I love Sages. Yeah. They're fun. They're fun. And they can be, oh my God, they can,

foot in mouth and say shit and you're like did did you just say that oh yeah sometimes i have to tell my husband i'm like what the fuck stop it yeah like what are you doing but he's so sweet and just they are um very diplomatic yeah they're they want to have fun right so they don't want to hurt you and make you upset yeah so that you don't have fun because they want to continue to have fun yeah and they also like childlike almost yeah no sagittarius is it's not of the earth

Sagittarius is half man, half horse. So they live on the earth as a different species. They don't feel like us. Number one. Okay. People without Sag. And so they live down here and they shoot for what's unknown. So they're always contemplating it. That is what they do. Their whole thing is about the contemplation of why are we here? Yeah. So even if they're the goofiest, stupidest, childish, stupidest,

you know, weed smoking, speaking about my Keithy at the time, but whatever they're doing. Sounds like my husband. Yeah. Sagittarius. They're still deeply soulful and thoughtful about where we are and why we are here. Yeah. Oh, he's so, my husband is so deep. Sometimes I'm like, calm down.

I have to like bring them out of it, you know, calm down. Yeah. It's not the time right now. Um, so let's circle back. So you left home at 14 and I heard you say that when you left home at 14, it was, it was life changing for you and you had been through a lot when you left home. Can you take me on that journey when you finally decided to leave home? Yeah, it was the greatest thing. I know it pissed my family off, so I'm sorry. Uh, sorry, not sorry. Sorry. Not sorry. Sorry.

But yeah, I packed my little bag and I wore like pants under my pants. So baggy pants over my skinny pants and sweatshirts because it was freezing. It was October in Toronto, actually up north. And I went to school and my friend's sister drove me to the mall to the bus station. And then I just got on a bus and went to Toronto where I had been. We had moved up north.

and of course nobody would take me in you know how that is um yeah they're like no you're not wayward child off the street and now and absolutely not so I ended up in the flop houses and you're gonna love this maybe not but the they called them flop houses somebody corrected me and said they call them something else now but where all the drug people go and I'm not gonna lie I liked LSD go ahead uh you know yeah I love that drug yeah um

But I ended up in houses with like, I'll say the needle people, the people that use needles. And I was so OCD that I couldn't stand it when they would... I did not do that. But when they would shoot up, they just leave the needles in the cigarette ashtrays on the floor. So I, like the good OCD girl, would pick everything up and wash them. Wow. And I...

that we didn't know about AIDS exactly yet at that time but it was that year that it was it was like an 81 it broke and I was already doing that but I couldn't stand they were gonna put it back in their arm from the ashtray that drove me nuts yeah like even I was like no and I looked in the paper for a job so I was always looking in the paper and there was this club and it was called the Fillmore's West not East and

And the owner, he was looking for cocktail waitresses. This is before Tracy Lord's. Okay. So nobody was checking ID. No one cared. Nobody cared. And so I went and met with him and I had no money to buy a little, he wanted us in a bathing suit with little heels. I had no money. So he gave me a hundred bucks back then and I could have just bailed, but I didn't.

And I went and bought it at Capizio's. You remember that store? It's a dance store. So I went and bought this little shiny gold, shiny little bathing suit and these little shoes. And I went and I started waitressing.

And then I met one of the strippers and she was like, I need a girl. We're going to Fort Erie for the weekend. She goes, you want to do it? I'm like, not really. I don't think so. I'd have been like, how much? Yeah. Yeah. Well, then she says, she says, she goes, well, I have some clothes for you. And I'm like, not really. She goes, well, it's whatever she said. And I'm like, okay, I'll go. The most terrifying thing, because it was horseshoe tables and

Back in the day. Yeah. With a whole bunch of people and you're completely naked. Like you've gone on stage and you're complete. And I was like, I did not understand what they were looking at. I was that immature. Yeah.

Like I knew I had a body and I know that people look, but I was like, I don't. How old you were? 14? 14. Oh my goodness. Yeah. 14. It was a little bit. Yeah. It was a little bit horrifying. And then when I came on those men though, well, I don't think they, well, I mean, I looked young, but, but maybe they thought I was, I don't know what they thought. They know. Assholes. Those men know. Yeah. They probably knew I was, and I was terrified. I was traumatized and terrified. My friend was like doing all kinds of things up there. And I was like, I'm not making those faces. Like,

I'm not going to go. Were you still a virgin? No. Okay. No, no. Thank God. No, I knew people, but I mean, you're 14. What are you getting out of it? Really? Yeah. You know, it takes till you're probably 20 to understand what you should do. Or at least I felt. Sorry for such a personal question. I was just trying to see where you were at. Oh, no, no. I lost my virginity young. I learned at age 10 that men would pay for that kind of thing. Like if you take your shorts down, always the stripping, they'll give you money. So how old were you when you lost your virginity? 12. 12.

Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. That is so young. No, I'm not. That's coming from a place of love. We have a 16 year old. I would, my heart would break. Yeah. 12. It was a kid my age. So like, okay. Like, yeah, it was not an adult person. Right. Um, yeah. Young little boyfriends. I'm like, Oh my goodness. And I was like, I don't get it.

Wow. I was like, no, really. I was like, I don't, it took me years. And then when I had my kids, I was like, I get it. So for me, it was about having my children. Yeah. That was important. The other stuff I could do without. Yeah. It's never been about the sex for me. Yeah. You know, after the stripping life, I was like, I hate everybody. Yeah. Don't try to kiss me. So you said at a young age, you learned that men would pay for things. Yeah. Did you have men paying you for things? Oh yeah, neighbor men. Yeah. Really? Yeah. I would wear little shorts out and stuff and they'd call you over and-

you know five bucks if you show me what's in your shorts so i did that i've got to say i did it but i was 10 and i knew better did i did i not but you're a child that's not your that's not your responsibility to no it isn't yeah those men that are disgusting and you'll love this it was the girl scout troops father who else would it be i just got goosebumps yeah i will fucking kill a motherfucker dude like i'm laughing just fucking piss me off

Yeah. No, they're really weird. But our whole society. They are. Yeah. Weird isn't putting it nicely. Well, I look at it and I'm like, you're married. You have your own kids looking back at it now. You know, my abuse as a child came from both. My mother was abusive sexually as well. So when I talk about that, a lot of people are very uncomfortable with it.

Even my husband would be like, well, maybe she just didn't know what she was doing. I'm like, come on. What would she do? She would check my crotch when I came in the door. So she would put her hands down my pants and check. Yeah. Yeah. And like put her fingers in you. Yeah. Yeah.

That's what I lived with. That kind of stuff. Yeah. So, and when you tell people they're like, I know it. Yeah. I know. No. So you run. I mean, I never did that with my kids. I was always knocking. People don't do, people don't do, I won't even, Bailey, I don't even look at her when she showers at me. No. That was, she, that woman knew what she was doing. Oh, she knew. She was trying, you know what it was? She was trying to have power over you. Yeah. Oh yeah. She would do stuff like cut all my hair off and then tell my dad I did it.

No, I didn't. Do you think that's why you have short hair to this day? I wonder. Because I've had it long like yours and then I'll cut it short. Right now, I don't want to go through the grow out stage. Oh, no, it's the worst. There's that. I don't know how I'm going to appear on camera. Well, luckily, there's like wigs and extensions and everything. Yeah, you could do that when it gets to about here. I may try to grow it out, but I have a little face. I love your short hair, though. Your look is a vibe. And I told you when you came in here. 60s vibe. Yeah, 60s. But I love it. It's like very twiggy.

Yes. Yeah. I like that kind of thing. I love that. I think, I mean, when my mom cut my hair, it was like I had long hair and she would just cut like, you know, so you look like an insane kid that

your brother cut your hair off by accident. She's just jealous of you. Yeah. It was a horrendous stepmother too. She didn't do the things to me that yours did, but she beat me and emotionally, physically. That's the same. She probably wanted to do something else and couldn't, you know, take you down that way. Yeah. Horrific, horrific. Left a huge scar. Yeah. It, it was interesting because, um, that has to be a mental illness though. Like you, for sure. You just can't mean to any sort of child. Um,

on a continuum is fucking wrong with you. Yeah. Never. No, your face is hilarious. No, I love you. Oh my God. No, I'm the same way. When people talk about my trauma, I get like a really giddy and like a nervously laugh. It's just, it's a trauma response that you have. Oh, absolutely. But it's just,

you cannot be mean to children if they if you're mean to children you are a fucking just a piece of shit evil human being you're a weirdo yeah children are the most innocent things on the on the earth they they don't have you don't have any recourse really as a child i mean my kids my kids had a lot more recourse like my keithy if you if you told him no you couldn't go out he would turn around and say i'm gonna tell people you did you michael jackson me at that time and i'd be like don't if you

laugh his ass off don't do that it was like 10 and i said what did you just say and he'd go ha ha ha and then you know so the kids got more brash as they got older but for my generation because keep in mind i'm almost 60 which we know but which i speak ad nauseum because i can't believe i'm here uh it's very humbling to grow old like yeah everything you thought you were when you're young and it wouldn't go away it's gone whatever it is you look in the mirror and you're like who is that no

A different person, you know, just so different. But for me, it was very hard with my mother. And I remember running away at 10, running away at 11, running away at 12. My dad would find me. Obviously, I didn't get very far. I mean, who are we kidding? And the other thing that I learned from my childhood was to be a distance runner.

So when they would start whatever it was they were talking about in the home, I would leave when I was five, put on sneakers and go out the door. Cause back then we all took the subways in Toronto. We all took the buses. That wasn't abusive. Like all the little kids went in little groups and it wasn't like today where you're like, get off the subway. You'll be kidnapped. And we drop our kids everywhere and micromanage. It was not like that. And I wasn't the only kid out, you know, all my friends, you know, and we lived in a good neighborhood in Toronto. Shout out to Lawrence Park, uh,

And we lived there, but I became a cross country runner to get away from it. So I always had practice and I just have used that to cope my whole life. And it's been the biggest blessing. I would advise people with anxiety and trauma exercise. It is a blessing. Like it comes first in my life, period. I preach that all the time. Whenever I was gone through, whenever I had just gotten out of a severely abusive relationship and I first got with Jay, um,

My body was in fight or flight. I didn't know what was going on at the time. No, you wouldn't. This was right before I started hitting my spiritual journey. And I would wake up out of a dead sleep at 6 o'clock in the morning, throw my shoes on, and go jog. We'd be on tour, and I would jog around the hotel that we were in. Like, anywhere we would go, if I started having a panic attack, I would just go jogging. Like, it really does reset the mind. It saves your life. Yeah. Saves your life. Did you ever take the – I took Klonopin for a while. Did you – Oh, I was a Xanax addict.

addict I didn't do Klonopin but give me a little Zanny Bonaduce and I would be in heaven I did that I love Xanax yeah I was so bad I was having like 200 panic attacks a day and I was always in the emergency room and I thought people were poisoning my kids too I always went to the emergency room yeah I'd run straight there like they're gonna help you me too they'll lock your ass they give you Xanax yeah and fucking Klonopin but I went so much the doctor told me he was like

He didn't call me bunny, but he said, Alyssa, because that's my real name. He said, Alyssa, you can't keep coming in here. He's like, if you're not going to take the Xanax, do not come back in here. Yeah, because you're not dying. Right. Yeah, exactly. Stop it. Yeah. Yeah. I would be so crazy that I was actually... And it can be spiritual because in the midst of my panic attack, I was...

I'm super psychic. Like I would see any kind of energy around me, anything good, bad or ugly. Yes. And that would freak me out. Yeah. So I would go places and see things like I went to Disneyland with the kids and I would seeing like demonic. And this is true. Like my, I think Keithy was like,

three and we were with tanner and jason their little friend and i was looking around and i got stuck in one of those cars you drive and i'm like oh my god i can't i would see something coming at me and it's because i was so open yeah that they will utilize that if they're a little bit dark to come in and torture you i'm convinced of it i'm convinced of it you can hear in past

podcast where I I don't want to keep circling back to me but it's like the yeah the shit you're saying is giving me confirmation that I'm not crazy you're not crazy how many times have I said that my panic attacks I would look at people and their faces would look like they're melting yeah changing because you're seeing what you're seeing in the midst of a panic attack I can see people's eyes change yeah well you're seeing a lot of people have attachments you're actually seeing that so call it

non-human entities attached. I don't go as far as to say they're all demonic unless I can tell by the shape I see. But people walk around with things on them. That's why addicts can't give their drugs up because they have attachments on them who like the drugs. People don't get that. Addiction is a frequency, not a mindset. It's not a lifelong thing. I know Dr. Drew will yell at me. No, I love that. It just gave me goosebumps. It's not a lifelong thing. It's a

frequency, once you shift the frequency, you can remove the addiction. You don't think about it because you don't live in it. Wow. It's family patterning. You may come from a family that has a habitual habit of living at that frequency, but that's not, it's not like your gene pool is white. No. Yeah. I don't believe that.

Of course, I go against medical science here, but yeah, I don't believe I think that everything is. I love Eastern medicine. I don't like anything about Western medicine. No, it's very damaging. I had my kids. My husband delivered my kids. I did not go to a hospital. I took no drugs.

I was fucking savage. It was savage. Oh God. Cause childbirth is barbaric. Yeah. I haven't had children this lifetime because I fucking am so scared of it. Like it's so barbaric. It is, but it was interesting. I think I might've died during childbirth or something. You could a lot of people still do believe it or not. It's pretty intense. It's a pretty intense thing. And, but I really enjoyed it.

I weirdly, I wanted to feel my children. I spent so much time numb that I actually wanted to feel them. Mimi has two kids. She's like, no, no,

don't like that one do you poor Mimi over here is like I can feel her butt cheeks clenched over here I know they're like I remember I remember saying just before I pushed my first son out I think I'll go to the mall and look for a pair of shoes oh my gosh John's like you're not going anywhere I'm like no really we can hold this off till later like then I was like you're into it then yeah that part I was in yeah

And both my kids were like nine pounds. So it was, yeah. Little baby turkeys. Yeah. Goodness. Little watermelons. Oh my goodness. And long, 22 inches long. And I was like, it's watermelon. They were it. They were watermelons. Yeah. Goodness. And he did that just fucking, just fucking Shira over there.

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Sign up today. I get it. Circling back to you did this first gig when you were 14. Yeah. Did you jump into full-time dancing after that? Pretty much. Yeah. At 14? Yeah. Yeah. No one, no one asked for, I mean, I had ID that didn't say I was 14. It said I was 16. Not much better. Right. Still. Yeah. Still. And in Toronto, the club's,

And I went to the Fillmore's East at that time. So it was the same owner. But I applied there as a dancer kind of behind his back. Right. When he found out I was dancing, he never looked at me or spoke to me again. The owner of that club. Like he literally shut me down. I guess he didn't expect that.

And I'm like, well, the money is good. Well, I feel like men in that industry are such creeps. Misogynistic. Right. So he probably... To you, you were a waitress, so you were innocent and you were pure. Yes. And then when you crossed over, you were just like the rest of them. Yeah. In his mind, that's how... Totally. Yeah. Yeah. I had the greatest time at that club, though. It was... Yeah. It was... I loved dancing. Yeah. It was so fun. But I also...

was shocked. Some of my friends would get pregnant and they would make more money pregnant. And that freaked me the hell out. Yeah, that freaked me out. There was weird shit that would go on in the booths. This is before, this is before girls had to pay to work in a club. I quit because

When I was 23, because I'm not going to pay to work in a club. Like, yeah, it's work. Why am I paying you? Like the house fee? Yeah. So we didn't have that when I did it, but we did tip the DJ at the end of the night because he removed the,

whatever was wrong with your body with lighting, the importance of lighting. So he would do that, but we didn't have to pay the clubs. Like they were looking for girls. There was such a stigma to it. So we got paid quite a bit, which was really good. And I traveled from here and I went to Florida. So I worked Toronto, California, Florida. And it was a shock when I came to LA because,

Because the clubs where liquor was served were all, I mean, were, sorry, all nude was just beer. And then full nude was no alcohol. But Toronto, it was like anything goes. Like huge clubs. Everybody's drunk and God knows what. And this is where I drew my conclusion that most men were gay. Because they would come into the clubs and they had their young kids.

men friends with them but they had their rings on and they're so I saw so much of that it really jaded me like I was a jaded bitch after that trust me I'm gonna my next book that's gonna come out after this book that's my my life story I've already decided I'm gonna call it little black book oh and it's literally gonna be just everything about dancing and escorting and everything see I didn't quite do the escorting a couple of times but I could never show up on time

That's why you're an hour early today. I'm like for bunny. I'm showing up. I'm like, yeah, I know. I'm like, I will be there. Well, first of all, the time said central time. So I'm like in my mind, I'm like, what if I make a mistake and it's not really central. And so I'm like, I'm checking with,

I'm calling John. I'm like, is Central Time? What is it this time? He's like, stop calling me. I'm so sorry. That's a two hour difference. Yeah, no, it's two. I have to look it up though because my mind will go off running and then you'll be like, where is she? But it was so fun. No, I'm glad I got here. I'd rather be early. But at that time, I was so like ADD that I couldn't commit. I could barely get

to a club, you know, like, I could barely get there. All over the place. Yeah, no, I was just very much on the go. Like, I still carry, I still, I traveled like that. I still travel like that. I'm here, there, and everywhere. So it was hard, and the dancing was easy because I do one set. And at the time in Toronto, we had to go on stage for three songs, clothes, underwear, nothing, right? And you could table dance. Do you remember when you had to carry the things on your head? No. Oh, yeah. Okay, we had, like, boxes. They did not have,

You could dance in the horseshoe, but for people at regular tables just like this, we had, like, boxes. So you'd go... The guy'd buy a dance. You'd go pick a box up and stand there and dance in front of him on the little box in your heels. No, never had to do it. But I...

Everybody always says that I glamorize being in sex work, and it's not that I glamorize it. I literally grew up in Vegas where fucking sex work is glamorous. Yeah, it's not. It's not. Yes. When I was dancing, it was like the Anna Nicole's, the fucking Pamela Anderson's, the Carmen Electra's. It was a very taboo thing. It wasn't like it is now. Dancing was very taboo. Yeah, it was for me too. It was like horror. Yeah.

if one more man calls me that I will come. That is, I get that at least 10 times a day. Yeah. That triggers the shit out of me. I laugh. Well, now I'm like, it's Miss whore to you, but I will scratch your eyes. I make it into merch. I make money off of it. Yeah. Yeah. That's smart. See, I got to learn because I get too emotional. I go right into like, okay, I'm now fuck that. Now, now all the hate that gets thrown at you, just turn it into money. That's what I do. Yeah. That's what I'm going to do now. Yeah. Dumb blonde. That's how

I started all this with literally people talking shit about me. I know because it's like really hair color. And that's another thing with my mom growing up. She wouldn't get me Barbie. I had to have Skipper. Okay, something happened to her when she was younger. Somebody made her feel less than thou and that was what she wanted to project on you. But my thing is like you go your whole entire life till you're 40 years old not having a child and then you go get one and you treat her like this? Yeah, it was very... It was very...

Yeah, it was difficult because you have nowhere to go. You have no family because once they cut you off, you're cut off in the adopted circle. I will say my cousins in the adopted family were always very kind to me. So I have cousins that are, they'd actually be second cousins because my first cousins are older because my parents were older. But I have a brother that my mom and dad had after they adopted me, but he doesn't talk to me either. So yeah, I didn't even call when my son passed, which was...

Sounds like he's like her. Yeah. I would bet. Yeah. Without insulting anybody. Right. Publicly. So moving on.

Moving on, you said that you stopped dancing at 23. Yeah. Had you already met John at that time? Yeah, I met him in a club. Let's bring John in the biz. Because you and John have a long, tumultuous... I don't want to say tumultuous. Long... Oh, it's tumultuous. Okay, long, tumultuous... We're friends. What kind of relationship do you think it is? Do you think it's karmic? Do you think it's soulmate? It's...

Soulmate... Now, this is interesting because soulmate can be anybody. Yes. Your kid, your parents, your whoever. It's definitely both. It's 100% karmic because...

as I always tell the story, but it's true. I was going to Florida to work. I worked in Miami. So I was going to Florida and I came into the club in the Valley. It was just a topless club at that time that I was in, in the, in the Valley, a real hood rat club, no offense, but it was anyway, I would just, you know, do the dance contest win and then take off because I'm so ADD. I don't want to stick around. So I was going to give the bartender money I owed her. And I saw John at

at the bar facing the TV. And when I looked at his back, I kid you not. And I was with my friend. We were, he came in the club with me.

I said to my friend, I said, my little gay friend who was coming to Miami with me, I said, see that guy at the bar? I'm going to marry him. Like I knew it. And I saw one dark haired baby and one strawberry blonde on his back. So that is actually how I introduced myself to him. And he said, are you high or would you like a drink? He's like, you are right up my alley. Yeah. I saw my children. Yeah. I saw them two boys. Yeah.

And I saw Keithy. Keithy's a strawberry blonde. Well, he was a toe head at birth, like a real toe head. Beautiful hair. Are you a natural blonde? I'm a dark dishwater blonde. Yeah. And sometimes I'll go red. Sometimes, you know, it changes. But now I love blonde. So yeah, I'm a short haired dumb blonde. There you go. Not so dumb blonde. Yeah, exactly. Stupid people.

I have to say it. We should put the stupid people show. But John was there. So I was on my way. I was also married to somebody else at the time. It was a four month marriage. I made a mistake. And the voice in my head when I was walking down the aisle talked outside of me and said not to get married. And I ignored it.

Yes, I did. Because we all do that because we know, think we know better. So I ignored it. I did that twice. Yeah. Did you? Oh yeah. Didn't you want to kick it? Before Jade, third time's a charm, baby. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I was his second marriage and he was mine. But six months later I came back and I,

saw his friend in the bar he was not there so I said to his friend can you call your friend because he said he'd be here like I was so literal it was ridiculous and he came over and we started dating right then and we weren't really apart like and that was it this is year 37 and we've only been divorced since October so it was I know I moved out why are you guys divorced you guys love each other I feel like so much love yeah I do love him he was annoying um

John, you're annoying. After two babies and a fucking lifetime together, stop being annoying. You delivered the kids too. Yeah, he did. He did deliver them. Cut John some slack, Sloan. I'm like, oh, he's so funny. He now lives in our house with my grandkids, my son, and there's no room for me right now.

like literally to do my podcast. I'm down the street in my studio slash where I stay, but then I go there to see the grandbabies. I'm back and forth. I drive a lot, which is good for my ADD. It's excellent. But what was so fascinating when I met John, this is true story. Our dads worked together and were both nicknamed Slim. Okay. Yeah. My dad was born in 1917, his dad, 1912, but they worked for the same company in the same line of work.

His mom, her first name was Kathleen. My mom's middle name was Kathleen. Okay. And we're all from Canada and the families. So I know it's karmic. Yeah. There's no way our backgrounds are very similar. What I think happened because I can't get away from them and I will pick men that are 20 to 25 years older. And that is a sign of abuse. Like that does come from that. Yeah. However, I get their timeframe and their culture. Like I'm not,

current I'm back then so all the TV shows they grew up with I get yeah how they your adopted parents were also older yeah yeah yeah my dad was in his 50s and my mom was 40 and then I think turning 42 when she had my brother so she got pregnant right away pretty much there's two years between us

So she got pregnant on her own after she adopted, probably because she was not as nervous about never having kids, you know, for her. And obviously it was karma because she felt the need to do it. Right. To begin with, you know, so that was karma. So everything was kind of, my brother was a Scorpio. You know how that goes. Yeah. Rough.

I love Scorpio women. Scorpio men scare me. Yeah, they can be there. They're my husband's a Scorpio. He's an Aries Scorpio rising. And I'm just like, you never know. They think he's and he's very psychic. He's and see for psychics.

And this goes for you too. You're what I call a sensitive. So you don't work professionally as a psychic. It's not your profession, but you operate psychically and not just once or twice. You do everything psychically. So that's a sensitive. So you do your business through your psychic ability. So most successful people do.

They just don't counsel others day in and day out because it's not, that's not what they're here to do. They're here to do this business, but use that insight. And John was very much like that. So I really appreciated it. And every, every step of the way he's been on my journey, like if,

like on our way here my bra broke so he drove me to victoria's secrets to get a replacement like on the way here in town no he he wasn't he's uh he's with the grandkids right now but i'm like we have to get a bra he just looks at me he's like you have to catch the plane i'm like bra please so he's good like that um but if i were to say hopefully he doesn't get mad but it's it was the alcohol like it's a lifelong journey with the alcoholism or the alcohol is he an alcoholic

Not according to him. Okay, gotcha. But I feel that it's a problem. So if you drink and you talk to me in a certain way, when my kids are older, I'm not going to listen to you. It's a trigger for you. Yeah, yeah. That's what he needs to understand. Yeah, it's a huge... He grew up in an abusive home where alcohol was... He did as well. His dad was very similar to mine, but...

You guys are opposite ends of the spectrum though. Like he, he was more normal. Yeah. Well that, that, and he took, took it on. Whereas you were like, absolutely. That's how I am. Like I, I'm sober. I won't do drugs. I won't drink like nothing.

No, nothing. We planned a drink for Mimi's birthday. It's like a special occasion. When is Mimi's birthday? The 30th, April 30th. So April 28th, we're going to go out and tie one on. But I have to bring my own bottles. Like I won't drink liquor at a bar because I don't trust it. Oh, because they spike it. Yeah. Mimi, they spike it. Yeah. I don't trust anything. Drink out of Bunny's bottles. Literally. Yeah. So, you know, it was just two different things.

Yeah. Once I had kids too, I think that any kind of,

drugs or alcohol is off the table for me. Like I get very serious. So I'm a mom that way, you know, women are caretakers. So we hopefully don't go down. You know, I didn't want my kids to see that from me. Yeah. I'm not saying I didn't do drugs. I did as a teenager, but yeah. So I finally got fed up with it, but I'll tell you what I think really happened. I've given it a lot of thought because he drove me batshit crazy a lot and was my best friend. Like he's the first person I call, um,

So it's, I mean, yeah, I just don't know what to say. I did from the minute I saw him, even when he's annoying and you know, I put his name in the freezer. Yeah. To block him. He knows that secret. Yeah. He used to throw his name out of the ice cube tray. I used to put it in there, freeze it. So he wouldn't bug me. And then she didn't put them in a jar with nails.

and a whole bunch of spices. No, no, no, no. I wasn't trying to kill him. I was trying to back him off a bit. None of it works actually, by the way. They're going to come forward if they want to, right? Yeah. But it's funny because we were struggling when I got pregnant with Keith in our relationship and I wasn't sure I wanted another child. So I asked Keith to tell me if he wanted to come through. I wasn't opposed to not having the child or not. You know, honestly, that was my mindset. I wanted a career. I was kind of selfish.

I had Jason. I was good with one child, even though I saw two. And I really felt like Keith wanted to be born. So I had him and I'm is the best thing I ever did. He was my tie to learning things that my first son taught me different things. But my Keith, he taught me really huge lessons. Obviously, he passed a huge lesson.

But when I separated from John and I planned and didn't let on and then suddenly I just left. He was so mad. And yet he would show up for dinner the next night. Come get me. And I'm like, I'm gonna have my independence over here because I was such a young girl, too. You know, but.

after that it was six months later that Keith passed so I think Keith's birth was for us to work our karma out I think we completed that cycle and so we can be really good friends now without having any kind of issues right you know I mean we can have issues but I have my own place right so bye so I feel like

John's going to just be in your life for the rest of your life. Yeah, he is. Yeah, he is. And it's, I know you say a lot on your podcast, because me and John were talking about this, how people don't know how you're with Jay because it looks like it should not be according to them and their judgmental ass selves. Yeah. John and I were always like that because he was much older. And so people, people would say, is that weird? You're,

If our son is that your, your grandson and your daughter, it's like, no, I fuck him. Yeah. I swear people, people are stupid. No, you know, not, not everybody, but there'd just be random. So we always looked not when he was younger, but we always looked kind of now when you see us, because he's, he's at that different stage in life.

He just turned 78. So yeah. And he still can get you though if he wants to. So I'll give him that. But it's funny. Your friends are your friends and it's timeless. Like whoever you love is who you love. There is no path for that. I always tell everybody when I met Jay, it was literally like my soul was like, there you are. Yeah. Like I recognized him and I had known him in every other life too. And we have had...

the craziest relationship, but like that dude is my best friend. He's my John. He's yeah. My best friend. Even when I'm,

freaking mad at him. Like I could just put a fork in his forehead, which I tell him, I'm going to drive there and stick one in your forehead. Oh, don't be hurting John. Damn it. He'll love that you're saying that. But it's funny because he is my best friend. Like everything that I've ever done, my work, he's always there. Like, and he can bug me while I'm doing my work, but he's still always there to pick, you know, pick it up. And he

He's really good. Our little granddaughter loves the shit out of him. She looks at him like she knows him from somewhere. It's the strangest. She could, like, she's friends with me, but wherever he goes in the room, she's like, it's so funny. She just loves him. Yeah. Oh.

She just sees them and she checks for him. Like her little head pops out of your arm looking for him. Oh my goodness. It's the cutest. So let's talk about your kids. Yes. Because those are your light. And you have said numerous times during this podcast that you came here to be a mom. I did. I didn't know it, but I did. Yeah. Let's talk about it. Oh my God. Take me on that journey. I loved being pregnant with Jason. Loved it. Like loved it. I was like, look, I'm, I gained a hundred pounds, 97 pounds. I really did. I bet you were so cute though. Cause you're so tiny. Yeah.

No, no, I was a beast. It's like a wildebeest out there. But my stepson called me a blueberry because I wore blue overalls and I was so huge. Like, I mean, my belly was like, it was hideous, but I mean, cute. It was Jason. And I just absolutely, I loved breastfeeding. Yeah.

I breastfed for two years and and we we co-shared the bed the kids didn't have their own beds you know they they did but I brought them all in the bed with me and my son does the same so it's kind of cute um they all co-sleep co-sleep I think is what they called it we just called it sharing the bed yeah but I just it was the best experience of my life it changed me so much it changed me

Just it was incredible. And then you become this like even more paranoid OCD person with kids. You're like, you know, you realize you're responsible for it. Maybe he's laughing over there. You're just like no babysitters. I made all this. Yeah. Yeah. Family members only my mother-in-law. My mother-in-law was on set. You remember psychic friends network back in the day. So we did my client reenactments that the show did. Linda Georgian was a friend of mine and Dionne Warwick was the host. That's the only way they put it on the air and

But my mother-in-law would be in the green room and hold Jason and I'd breastfeed him between takes and come back. Yeah. I dragged her everywhere with me and she did it willingly. So it was the best. And when I got pregnant with Keith, it was, Jason was so lovely. He,

And I was kind of mad when I got pregnant again, because it went so quick that first two and a half years that I'm like, oh no, there's another baby coming. I don't, you know, like now I can't give to Jason because I'm now going to have two. So I was kind of mad at first, which was weird. And then I...

got into the pregnancy and both my kids told me their names at ultrasounds at six months. So I wanted to name both of them Matthew. Like I had that in my head. They're going to be Matthew something, right? I don't, I don't know why I just like the name. So with Jason, I heard Jason. So at six and a half months, I'm like, he's Jason. And then with Keith, I heard Keith. John's like, who do you know named Keith? I'm like, nobody. You're like Keith Richards. Yeah. He's born on the same day as my son.

December 18th. Yes. Oh my gosh. Good hit. That's crazy. Yeah. Keith Richards. Keith, he was not like Keith Richards, but he could have been maybe, I guess. But yeah, when I got pregnant with Keith, it was so different because that was an extraordinary thing. When I gave birth to Jason, I flew out of my body. I was pushing. They said push. My mother, birth mother was there and she had a mirror. She's like, look, you can see this.

I'm like, I don't care. My head's spinning around. And so John was there and he was holding me up and I'm push, push, push. And I'm thinking to myself, this is actually hell. I need to get... I told John, go down the street, get that kid. He used to play baseball. I said, he sells drugs, find him. Give me the drugs. But it's too late at that point. Anyway, I flew right out of my body.

And suddenly I was looking above myself and I saw Jason who hadn't even come out at age 19 handing John a little girl and she was Hispanic.

mixed and I saw a baby girl and she had wavy hair and she was a little toddler and he was hand like handing her over like it was over my body but I'm watching it John's over there and I knew it was his granddaughter that's our first granddaughter baby Lila and I saw her when I saw her I went oh my god there she is she's here and she I described her John's like that's weird he's like the absolute

description because it wasn't anybody we thought who it would be with and this, that, and the other. And with Keith, I was screaming as my legs were up and I was in the jacuzzi and something told me to get out of the jacuzzi because it didn't feel right. So John's like, don't push, don't push. And I'm like, why? The midwife was on her way. It was almost to be Christmas. And he's like, the head is purple. I'm like, what?

So meanwhile, the midwife gets there. John actually did this. I got to give him kudos for this. He pushed Keith's head back inside. Yes. For the love of God. I, yes. No, seriously. I couldn't even feel it though. Cause I was so like, what's happening. Right. I was just like, you're. But for him to even be able to do that. He did it. He jumped right. That's one thing about him. He's really good at that. Like if you're having an emergency, he will stop and help you. And he doesn't care. You can't leave this man.

No, literally felt like a Mack truck after, but he, Keith was tangled down here and under here. John untangled them. The midwife came in and so turned me and then Keith was delivered, but then he had to go to the hospital. And this isn't even funnier story, but not. So I'm there and I'm, I don't have any clothes that'll fit. So,

I'm wearing John's pants. And I said, you stay with Jason. I'm getting in the ambulance with Keithy. Keithy went and our doctor was Heidi Fleiss's dad. Oh, who was doing the movie and in trouble for tax evasion at the time. So they banned him from the hospital. Oh no. So then the hospital called social services on us for having a home birth and all of that shit. And little Keithy had to stay there one week and

They want to make sure he was okay because he got strangled coming out, but he was fine. And he was nine, just over nine pounds. And he was in with the little like drug babies that were the size of your hand. It was, I was like,

like little, like not even a pound babies. And that blew my mind, but I was still like really angry that my Keithy was in there. So I go to anger first always. I'm like, well, fuck you. I'll get my kid out of here. And so Keithy came home and he was just so cute. And that changed my life too. Um,

But when I got pregnant with Keith going back, I'm always going backwards. That's, I have a lot of cancer planets. We do that. We go forward and then we look back. Astrology lesson. Yeah. But when I got pregnant with Keith. That explains why you say that you came here to be a mother because cancer represents mother. Yeah. Like mom. Yeah. I just absolutely love.

It was, I'm not saying I was the best. I would chase those kids. Ask Jason. Like my oldest son, when he was being bad, I parked my car, kick my shoes off and tackle him on the street. Like I was that bitch. I feel like that's how I would be a mom. Like that bitch, you know, people were like, you're mom. And it's like, you were not going off with that kid. I fucking told you no. And you know, no, I wanted them to stay away from drugs. Obviously obvious who, you know, who wants their kids on drugs? Said no one.

But when I got pregnant, it was St. Patrick's Day and I'd gone down and gotten, I felt like having sex and John was with his friends. So I went down to the, it was known as a bicycle club in Burbank and I dragged him away from his friends for a quickie on the living room floor. And I literally heard ping. It was like, ping, you're pregnant. And I just remember him saying, I am not.

am not out of the room. And I was pregnant. We couldn't know then, right? And then I tell the story, but I really heard one's coming and one's going. So I didn't quite know what it meant. But when I looked up when Keithy would be born and it was a Sag, I knew it was his brother, Jimmy. So I didn't know the timeline, but that was my first hit that Jimmy was going to pass. And

And that was the stepson. Yeah. He was, um, that devastated me like, because I saw it. And as a psychic person, when you get that information, it's almost like you feel you're causing it.

But it's not that you're, you're getting the phone, like the strand of information first and you can feel it. And it's so, it blew my mind. It, it fractured me. I was not normal after, like I had a psychotic break and,

Um, like that's what they said. I went to the hospital and ran away from the hospital because I thought the doctor was an escapemental patient. I mean, I was out of my mind. Like I was just like, I'm not staying. Goodbye. Yeah. I gotta go. You, cause the voices in my head, like now they were messing with me because I was so when, when Jimmy died, it, it, um,

shattered me like glass and John as well. I'll never forget it. But as we got closer to the timeframe, I had the conversation with him because I kept hearing the voices. So I thought I'll go to his work and just jokingly sit down with him because he, we learned while I was pregnant, he had a drug problem. We did not know that. I mean, maybe his sister did, but I did not know that other than weed. I mean, whatever, but nothing serious.

And he started doing the overdosing thing and this and that. And he did not look like it. He was extremely good looking. Okay. And tall and healthy looking and, you know, so he didn't look good.

Like he was destroying himself, if that makes sense. And I went to John's work. He was working with John at that time. And I sat down with him. And on his lunch break, he'd always tan out in the parking lot. So I was sitting with him. And I'm like, you know, how do you want to be buried? And he's like traditional Catholic. He just answers that? Yeah. No, he was a double Sag. He was the best. He was December 9th.

And he had a Pisces moon though. Sweet little Pisces moon. Really sad for this planet. Too sensitive for the planet. Pisces Venus. Yeah. The nicest, the nicest person, the nicest, kindest person. Pisces always is. And they take care of everything and everybody. But,

but it will destroy them too. So mentally for him. But anyway, he told me he'd just gone to a wedding and he was wearing his dad's tie, which was the one that John wore to our wedding. So he said, yeah, I'll wear that tie and this, that, and the other. So, you know, up then I was, after Keith was born, I thought we were safe again. This is my thinking I can control or that I understand. And I did not, they're going to teach you a lesson psychically every single time.

But it was Keithy took his first steps on the day, on the day his brother died. So my son walked and our other son, which would be John's son, passed on that day. And it just so drug overdose. Yep. At John's work. And I just, I heard the phone call coming in and I walked out the front door because I knew.

I was told it would be by Halloween and this was October 9th. And it, I can't even describe it. I was not normal. Neither was obviously John and poor Keith. He was 10 months old. So he never knew he went through so much. And, um,

That was my first. I remember looking at the body in the funeral. It's not funny, but in the funeral home. And we have already established that you laugh when you're uncomfortable. It was so, I almost knocked all the flowers over. Like I couldn't get out of the room fast enough. And I was like, they didn't brush his hair right. He had long hair. He used to wear it in a ponytail. And I was like, his hair's wrong.

But of course you're dead. So your hair is wrong. You're dead. And it was so traumatic for me. And I had postpartum too. So I had those two things and poor John, he had to get up and go to work. Like he was supporting us at that time because I had stopped working pregnant with Keith and was looking after Jason. And so he was a sole supporter. So he had to go back to work. And the thing about the grief that I found so interesting is I,

People would call me from his work. Like he'd forward the phones and I'd answer and they're like, yeah, how's Jimmy? John told me he was, you know, getting lunch when I stopped by. And I'm like, he's actually dead. Like he would not say it for like a good, he was, he wouldn't say it. I mean, people knew, obviously people who knew us, but he wouldn't say it. And poor Jason was three and loved his brother and,

before my Keithy came, it was Jimmy who showed himself on my podcast. And so I jokingly thought, like, is he her first dad? Because we were fighting at the time. I'm like, how about somebody else in the family? Never occurred to me that he crossed my son over. So he came to let me know. I always saw Jimmy. He showed me how he died. Much different than with Keith. And when Keith passed, when I got that call from my other son, Jason, who did not know he was dead. He just said,

his exact words 130 is it okay to say this yeah you asked about the kids so I'm talking about it but when Jace called me I just finished working and he never called he used to text so I picked up for that reason you know how these kids are they don't want to talk to you yeah I've tried to get our kid on the phone all the time yeah don't text me call me yeah they don't like that yeah

The 30 year olds don't either. Yeah. Um, 31. Anyway, he called me and he said, Keith hit the floor and I'm like, he fell down the stairs. Like I didn't understand the motorcycle conversation. Um,

And I said, what are you talking about? He said, the motorcycle. And I said, where? What hospital? I went right to that. He said, Chatsworth. I said, where? DeSoto. So I'm on the phone. I had a best friend. So did he know or was he envisioning this? No, no, no. Somebody had called him and said, your brother was in an accident. I heard from George because Keith had gone out to get the motorcycle. John had COVID at the time, was really sick.

George and Keith went out to get Keith's bike because it had been in the shop. So George was driving, shout out to George, a Scorpio. There you go. Yeah, he's a November 4th Scorpio. Anyway, one of Keith's friends, he was driving Keithy's car and Keith was riding the bike home and they were going to the gym after that, like my kids do. And so George did not have my phone number or Jason's. So he called our other neighbor, David. David called Jason.

So that's how I found out and then said call your mom tell her whatever but he didn't know he was dead So David drove out before we got there and then the police told David what happened and

He called Jason, but I did not get that call. But I knew I went complete the, the, I went numb. I don't have feelings. I laugh. You could punch me. I don't have feelings. Now I don't feel anxiety. Like, you know how it takes over your body. I don't feel that anymore, but I know I have it. Right. Mentally, intellectually, but I feel nothing physically. So I, I,

of course went to anger but I drove down the street I was calling the police and they wouldn't tell me so then David called me and sent me a pin to where Keith was and I said you need to tell me is my son dead and he wouldn't answer so I started screaming at him you killed him like I just went right nuts on him the poor kid he hung up on me ignored me thank God but he didn't want to tell me that's what he said later he goes I just didn't want to say it you were driving so I just didn't want to say it

So I was on the, I was on, it's funny. I'd been on a group text shout out to Carol and she had said, let's, I had said, let's steal the bikes and she was going to put them in her garage. And I didn't follow through because I called John and he said, they'll just get insurance money and buy faster bikes. Right. So, and I didn't even know Keith had a bike until two weeks before he passed because I wasn't living in that house and they shut the garage on me till I walked up on it one day. I saw Jason's bike and then I saw a blue one and I'm like, whose is that? Hmm.

because I know Jason I have the same thing with motorcycles I will not let my husband have one no no the drivers no this lady just I have the video from a neighbor thank god I had to do all the work though and the police thought I was crazy you're a crazy mom who loves your son yeah that's it I just remember pulling up and I saw the tarp and I went completely nuts

They would not let me go near the body. I didn't care. I don't care what position my son's in. He's my son. I'm here to clean his life up and bring him in. Like that's my job. And I'll tell you something. I think of it. It's to all the mothers that have lost. I hope I don't cry. Anyway, to all the mothers who've lost kids makes me, um, it's a full moon. I'm going nuts, but it's okay. It's, um, it's okay to hurt. This is a, yeah, it's very painful, but obviously, but to all the mothers, it's a great honor to,

to finish your child's life I learned that because I cleaned up and had help from so many people who helped me clean up my son's life um I felt like I had to like he was not finished and so I felt like I would do everything find out everything make sure all his friends knew how important they were to him and do things in his honor that's how I looked at it now that was it was um

It blew my mind. I was just like, and I just couldn't understand like people, like the police were there. I couldn't understand what they were saying. I was like, what the fuck are you saying? And I could see him. And it's funny. The first person I texted was his ex-girlfriend.

They were not together. Her name is Paige. I love her dearly. I texted her. I sent her a picture from across the street. Don't ask me why I did that. She was with her boyfriend now and they have a one-year-old, 16-month-old child, really cute. And he said, she told me this after, he said, what's wrong? And she said, I think Keith died. So they pulled over. She had the same reaction I did because

because he looked like he was sleeping. They covered him and his little socks were there and they were dirty on the bottom. And I was like, why are his socks? Cause he used to run around in white socks outside on the, you know, how men are, they just go out. And she had the same, same comment. I just felt the urge to send her that. I don't know. I just had that reaction and,

and she was breathing yeah she would and then jason pulled up he reacted the same way i did he ran out of the car it took three police to hold him back because he was going to fight them he's like his mother that way but he's a guy and mckenna was there my lovely little makeup artist daughter-in-law and she was there and i just watched her she kind of

slid onto the ground. She's a Pisces. She just kind of hit the ground and Jason just ran like he was a quarterback like trying to get to his brother and they had to like, you know, push him like that. And so it was unbelievably traumatic. I just changed the whole mood of the room, but it was okay. It was so traumatic to me that I

I don't even know how to describe it. Like John didn't get out there to, I just, and I remember calling him as I was driving up and I told him to shut up because he started crying like a wounded animal, not crying, wailing. The word is wailing. I couldn't handle it. Shut up, click. And he couldn't come cause he was too sick. He had a fever and all of that. But yeah,

I just, seeing it just blew my, like it just blew my mind. And so we waited. You wait, obviously, till the coroner gets there because they have to do what they do. And I was, George had gone. George, because the police, he took Keith's car, his family took Keith's car to John's. And when the coroner

put Keithy on the stretcher, his eyes were half open. Like that's what happens when you die. And his mouth was open. So I was above his head and his feet were this way. And Jason was behind me in the corner. And I sniffed for him. I wanted to smell him. He was not there. I sniffed his mouth. I looked at... I was like a nut. I looked at his eyes. I had to take it all in because that's how I am. I have to find out everything. But I had to look at him. I had to see...

I didn't have panic at the time. I was just numb, but I could not smell him. He was gone. Like he was out of the vicinity. Now I'm going to tell a really interesting thing after that. The next day, my Jason was coming home from,

the gym in Burbank or wherever he was, but I think it was a gym, a lady hit him on his motorbike. So I was in the emergency room with him. She ran over his right, didn't break anything, but ran over the right side of his leg and wouldn't get off. She was wearing a mask and an older lady and the lady behind her had to bang, bang, bang, and then help Jason. The day after that,

Jason says he doesn't remember but Kenna does remember so Jason anyway said he had like a vision in our house and he saw Keith come in with his helmet on go upstairs like he did and he turned to his dad and John said to him in this vision this wasn't really happening this is what Jason saw and he said doesn't doesn't he know he's dead and John said don't tell him he'll stay longer which would be exactly what he would say and

And so Jason said they sat there and Keith came downstairs, sat on our table. We have a low table and lounge table and he sat on it. And Jason and John and him were talking in this vision. And then Jason couldn't stand it anymore. And he said, bro, you died on a motorcycle. You're dead. And he said, Keith looked at him and said, I'm not dead. And they they did what guys do. They stood up and these two would you know how guys are. They fight like with their chests and stuff. And Jason said he like chest bumped him energetically.

And then got so mad, he swooshed out of the room. So technically, Jason told a piece of Keith's soul. That's a great illustration because he helped his brother leave, like at least understand part of that because part, we split into different energies when we pass. Part of his energy was,

Went one way, but part came home because he wasn't sure because we're not contained. See? So Jason actually did that. Jason has been a good medium since he was a kid. He's actually better than I am, but he will never admit it and will ignore this conversation for me saying that. And then that night I slept in Keith's bed and I felt him kind of came in the room. Keithy's cat was there, Tulip. And I felt Keith come through me, but he was like,

It's fragmented. I knew he was hugging me, but his energy was all over me. And yet he was hugging me. It wasn't like I hug you. It's kind of like a tornado. Yeah. Like, like, like the static on a TV for like you walk through that and how that would feel. It was like that. I knew it was him. I slept in his bed and I just said to John, I'm going to sleep in his bed. And I went so that I could smell him because I couldn't smell him. And that made me, he had a very distinct, my kids, I could, you know,

you can smell your children. Even with cologne on, you can smell them. And when was this? When did this happen? 2020, July 29, 2020. Yeah. But Keith, Keith, I have to show you the picture. He manifested on my live stream because I kept saying, I can't feel him. I did. I felt him move through me and I felt him when I was preparing his friends prepared the most beautiful send off and celebration. We did the service in the park.

guerrilla style because it was COVID. So like 60 people came in the park where he would work out during COVID. The funeral home took his body across the street because nobody was allowed to view. I threw a tantrum and said, I'm bringing him home if we can't. And so they moved him to a different area. We signed waivers and everybody at once was able to see him. And I was quite fine looking at his body because I knew he wasn't there. So it was very different than when his brother died because

something in me thought he was still in there. But when I looked at Keith, he looked like my Keithy, skinnier because you lose your volume, but it wasn't like he's not there. Do you think it's because you had that maternal attachment to him that you would feel that as opposed to with Jimmy? Yeah. Oh, definitely. Yeah. I just knew he wasn't there. So I looked at the body and I actually took pictures of him so that I would remember it. And it looks like him sleeping like a little angel. So-

They could not put clothes on him because his body was damaged tremendously from the motorcycle. So they wrapped him and he looked like a little mummy. It was so cute. His little face was really cute. So I saw that and he manifested. I think it was Elvis's birthday. Somebody emailed me the other night. I was talking about this.

So I have like your sets, like a couch that was behind me and it had a blue throw on it. It was in my other studio and they're, they're all crying over here. It made me cry too. I am. I'm sorry. No, don't apologize for being vulnerable. It's yeah. It's the, it, the one way to get at me is to say something about my kids. I will. Yeah. Or to, you know, like negative. I mean, but, um, Keithy came through. So I was sitting, so I sit,

at the kitchen table. The only thing I took in the divorce was my kitchen table where my kids sat. That's like, I lug a huge, big, fat, thick ass kitchen table around. Cause I'm like my husband, he's obsessed with our kitchen tables for some reason. Yeah. Cause people sit there and talk. That's it. So my camera's on that and my little, so I had it there and the two chairs were behind me and people started going, look, look what's happening behind you. So I turn, I can't see anything. Cause

the lights in my face and I don't see anything. They're like, there's the face, there's the face. And I'm like, I'm live streaming so I can hear them. I mean, see the thing. And I'm like, oh, it's gotta be Jim Morrison. I'm screwing around. I have a picture. It's Keith's profile from his picture. Someone took a picture of me with it behind it and attached Keith's face beside it to show that like he manifests, he manifests all the time. So I get comfort in that. Although I'll tell you as a medium, I,

who's lived through this I still want my son here there is nothing you can tell a mother or a person who's lost somebody that makes them feel better so I don't even think I make people feel better when I tell them if I tell them I because I miss my son so you can tell me stuff

doesn't matter. I want my Keith here. I think your soul is always going to ache for him. Yeah. I think that's, that's what I'm that that's what I do. So, but it has brought me so many lovely people who so many people reached out. Oh my God, I was dying. Like I, and so many people, I shout out to the, my friend Bobby who Keith came to her and she painted his picture and then she was a PI and she found every witness and

So and set up everything I needed to take to court, you know, to try and figure out what happened. She did it. And she literally said. Was it a hit and run? It was like my friend Stacy, who is a police of Los Angeles, said it caused the accident. Like if you're on the side, they didn't hit him, but they pulled into his lane. It was DeSoto. So six lanes going one way, going the other way. And Keith, he was going to the freeway. He was in the closest to oncoming traffic. The lady pulled to turn left.

And she went out like this, which caused him to move into the middle lane. And I have him on the bike. He's upright and fine. Like nothing is showing. And then two houses later, he hits a mailbox that the person cemented into the ground and it

all catapults him and cuts basically his, this artery here. And so he was dead and people kept saying, Oh, your son was doing a wheelie. No, we hit the mailbox. And when it cut him, cause it was metal and cemented when it cut him, that's a death grip like that. Yeah. That's what that is. And then he hit a telephone pole and you'll love it.

not love that but he landed outside a buddhist temple oh my gosh and so the monks were praying for him oh my god when i got there which i liked yeah because mike heathy like would like that so i was very happy that people they went they told me they took me over there when i got there and they told me they were praying for him and they were chant you could hear them chanting so

He passed right outside of there. And it was actually under a really beautiful tree. It's very odd. But I tried to observe everything about it, like every single element so that I know what I saw. And I understand it. Yeah, I had to sense of it. Absolutely. I petitioned the court for three years and finally got all the police video cam. So I saw every aspect of the damage done to my son. All the video footage.

Now I can look at it. John does not want to look at it. Jason and I can look at it. But I had to look at witnesses and how they responded and people around and I had to know. And I can actually hear through the video. He's friend David on the phone. The police are telling him and he's crying and I can hear Jason screaming at him through the phone and I can hear him say, bro, why would I lie? Your brother's dead. Like I can hear that conversation. So it's fascinating. It put everything into order for me so I can see how it drives people crazy when they don't know.

you know, what happened or they can't see it. So I advise people to get as much information as much as you can get, because even though you don't want to know it, it may help you understand a series of events at which will then help you process it. Absolutely. That's what I feel. No, I'm the same way. I want to know every aspect of every situation so that I can either one, uh,

come to some sort of closure in my own life or just know, it's just something about being an information junkie. I have to know everything. You need to know. Yeah. That's, that's the same with me. I needed to know. And then I needed to abdicate for my son and I needed to, I throw parties to celebrate his transition, which is his birthday on the other side. That's how I choose to see it. So, um, I put a bench up in the park. That's what we decided to do as a family. Um,

where he exercised. So I decorate it on the day he passed and we have beer and pizza parties. And on his birthday, we let off firecrackers. The neighbors call the police, but we do it every year. So that's what we do. And his friends come and they always, you know, I get invited to all the baby showers. So I go as him, if that makes sense. Yeah, absolutely. For every single one of his friends and all their little kids. And yeah,

It's it's it's a nice therapeutic for you too. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no, it's really great to watch these kids I wish I know he knows meadow. That's my little granddaughter. I know he knows her Yeah, yeah, and my my other granddaughter did part of the eulogy at his funeral. She was eight She stood up she wanted to oh my goodness. Yeah, she did really brave because I didn't want to stand up So she did

Yeah, really brave. Thank you for sharing that with us. God, I just, your audience is like, whoa. No, they love this. What do you mean? Before we get and segue into our next chapter of this, can I pee really quick? Sorry, we're getting our lives together, Sloan. Yeah, I'm getting mine together. I dressed. I'm like, I'm so excited I arrived here dressed.

dressed like a sane person. Sometimes I think I'm going to look cute for somebody and then I'm like, just stick with what you know works. You look beautiful. You are gorgeous. We all, all of us are gorgeous. Everybody's gorgeous sometimes.

They really are, but we don't see it that way because we believe bullshit. I do. And you know what? A lot of people are always like, why is Bunny nice to these people? Like I was on what somebody sent me a bunch of screenshots today from this group that's on a website that fucking just does nothing but talk shit about people. And they were like, Bunny is always just so nice to people who have mental illness. And I'm like,

Am I supposed to judge them? Am I supposed to make them feel terrible about themselves? No, no, no, no. That's not what I'm here for. I'm here to love people and put a smile on their face and make them feel good about themselves. That's an ignorant comment. It's so fucking weird. You would not believe the shit I have to deal with online. It's crazy. I get the... Yeah, that one woman...

My PI was messaging me going, I think this is her page. She's sending it to me while I'm here. And I'm like, she's like, you can tell she killed her son. And to be famous. I'm like, lady, I had no like in my head, but you can't fight them back. Yeah.

Because they tried to say that about us. My mom died before an award show. Yeah. And they tried to say, oh, was Bunny's mom a sacrifice? And that's why Jay won all the awards. And I'm like, my mom? Yeah. Like, nobody wants her. Like, love you, mom. But no, but that's not sacrificial lamb material. That's hilarious. You know, like, not happening. No, it just...

it's weird. And then they say things like you talked it and no, that that's how I work. That's what Claire audience is. You say things and it actually happens. Yeah. So it was just horrible. It was, so mine's the opposite. I have visions and if I don't say anything, it will happen. But if I do, sometimes it like changes the trajectory of it. It's really weird. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. It's really weird. I tell them that all the time. I'm like, I have to tell you this because if I tell you it, then it won't happen.

Okay. Yeah. That's, that could be also your OCD. Yeah. Making the deals, making the deals. But, um, I know with me when I call it psychic Tourette's, if I keep hearing it enough, I have to say it or it just eats me. And I wanted to warn both my boys and I didn't know which one I, my best friend was a psychic and I went to her and I said, tell me which one of my fucking kids is dying. And she's like, I can see the chaos. I can see the lady. And it was a lady that pulled that. We just found her taking me four years to find her. We just, I put her face everywhere online. I got it off

the... I would never know who she was, but I got it off the police footage. That's why I knew I had to get it. Wow. So now we're tracking her this week. My PI is going to call her. And then you can put... You can brush charges. Well, she's going to have to say why she didn't stop. She's all over my son's body an hour before I got there. I have it on. Police didn't get her name, nothing. Oh, she stopped and then fucking took off? Yeah, she stopped. Her and whoever she was with, they're looking for shit all over the ground. And I'm like...

And then they're talking shit. They're talking shit about George's family. I have it on tape. Like I got the police footage. I had to subpoena myself. I had to research how to do that. Wow. It took me 18 tries, but I kept going into court, getting a subpoena. I've been going down there and they're like denied. And I'm like, you motherfuckers, I'm going back. But I did it because I knew I had to see something on the footage. And it's actually the, one of our witnesses described her and said, Oh no, she talked to the police and they didn't think anything of it. He died yesterday.

six months after that from a fentanyl overdose and so but he described her so when i saw her on the video i'm like bingo yeah i have him on tape so i taped everybody yeah it yeah man yeah poor kid was jason's age anyway fentanyl and he was just i felt bad he didn't stop because he said he was smoking weed when he was driving up the street he didn't want to get busted but he did report her and then i can see her everywhere she's all over the body and the police says what's your name ma'am and she's like oh i'm praying and she pretends to pray i want

Yeah, I want to kick the shit out of her. Sloan, that is horrific. I watched it and they wouldn't let me. I would never be able to live with that. No, that's not. You're not a good person. Yeah, to go home and go to bed and know that you fucking killed somebody and you acted like you were praying over them. That's disgusting. She didn't hit him. She pulled out.

out. Right, right, right, right. Which, so there was, she obviously knew she did something wrong. Yeah. She was investigating his body. Yeah. And then she went to help George. She got water. So I asked George's mom, do you know this woman? And she, oh, that's the nice lady that brought him water. Talking shit to the cops on her way.

oh that kid he comes from a shitty family and then she's like um yeah the mother she's a tall blonde I'm not tall I'm five six I'm average and I mean and then she's like the father's older and then the kid in the car is like he's like 80 I'm like how do you know who I am like they they obviously went on I don't know but they bad mouth George and all kinds of shit and poor George was so traumatized because

He was with, he went, sat with Keith. But anyway, it was so, but now I have her name. My PI is texting me. Well, you got to keep me updated on that. I'll keep you. And once you, you know, pursue it and everything, come back on the podcast. Yeah, and we're definitely doing that. I mean. Hell hath no fury like a mama scorned, man. Let me tell you. No, this is Keith right here. This is.

He would hate it, but I hacked, hijacked his phone and hacked into it. And that's the last picture he had up, but he was six foot four and darling cute. Such a cute little blonde, green eyed, sweet. Sounds like my type. Yeah. He would, he would, he would love him. He was so cute. And he would, he would have loved you. He'd have been so excited because you're a husband. He would have loved that. I love that.

His best friend's mom texted me. Oh my God. Keith would have loved jelly rolls music. No. Yeah. I love that. Cause she's speaking of, speaking of jelly roll. Yes. You know, my husband is obsessed with you and he has just been since last night, just hammering me with, please ask her these questions, please. I need answers. And like, he just really doesn't, he has answers, but he's just being kind. He doesn't know. He doesn't trust anybody.

you know you and Tyler Henry are like the only two that he was actually like you know please and then so I made the mistake of I just never want to um ever overstay my welcome with people's gifts you know and I just feel like it's it's a gift and you know like I don't ever want to intrude so with Tyler I didn't really go in depth and I didn't intrude and he was just Jay was like what

what do you mean you had him for two hours and you didn't ask him a thing and i'm like well not really um so we will do the complete opposite and i will try to ask you some questions and but you so you pulled up our birth charts yes okay cool okay so you did our birth charts and i'm curious to hear about all this let's go ahead and okay well this is

Super interesting. I'm going to tell you something super interesting about your man first. I'll go back. You're the host. I should talk about you. No, I'm fine. No, talk about daddy. Since we just talked to daddy and he said, don't forget me. We're not forgetting you, daddy. This episode is sponsored by AutoTrader. Credit scores, down payments, interest rates.

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But there's an easier way. Thumbtack is the app that makes it easier to care for your home. Pull out your phone and in just a few taps, search, chat, and book highly rated pros right in your neighborhood. Download Thumbtack and start caring for your home the easier way. Can I call him Daddy? Yes, of course. Everybody calls him Daddy Roll. Okay. So the first thing I noticed with him in this life, and I'm going to say it straight out, no matter what he did, whether he's a singer, a

construction worker I don't care what he did in this life he was never going to be handed anything his life is about building it for himself from his own constitution so he wasn't going to even if he was born into a Hilton family he was never going to inherit that money because for some reason the karma in this life is you must do for yourself it's about getting to know yourself in this life his chart is totally set up for music yeah but here's the issue

Everybody got an issue in astrology. Yeah. Okay. Because he's a Sag rising. Yeah. Okay. So that's fantastic. Yeah. It's cute. It's cute.

but he has Neptune on the Ascendant, which is musical sun and Uranus in the 12th house. He actually channels the music he writes. So it comes to him in clairaudient form. So he understands what I'm saying because he hears the wording and puts it to paper. He does. He puts it in his notes all the time on his phone. Automatic writing. Okay. That's what we call some people write like this when they're giving readings because it's automatic writing. So he could technically do that. He guides it towards music. Now, because Neptune...

which is your Venus's ruling planet. Okay. Cause Venus is in Pisces because Neptune is up there on his ascendant. He has no clear vision of himself. Um,

So I'm going to just word it this way. I know he's extremely sensitive. So let me word it this way. Anything about him in a physical sense, he does not see himself in that way. Whoever and however he shows up, I don't care if he shows up like looking whatever versus how he looks now, whatever people think. This does not matter to him because it changes for him when he sees himself. Obviously, he can look at himself. He knows who he is because he's, you know, gone by a mirror like we all do. But I'm talking...

spiritually speaking, he does not see himself. So he is a chameleon in the way he moves. Now he seems, when I look at him, I could pretty much say, yeah, I recognize the look. Okay. I can see what he'd wear. I get all of that. However, on a spiritual level, that's not, he switches internally. Therefore, that's why his physical isn't important to him. It has to be pointed out to him. Now that's interesting because your chart is,

is all about learning how to take care of self in this life in a physical way. So he would almost call you in to help him do that because it doesn't mean anything to him. And not because of anything he is or isn't. He could be the version of the perfect version of health right now, according to the public, because I know what the public says about everybody. Yeah. They're a bunch of bitches. Yeah. Just shut the hell up. Yeah.

you know, it's always like, Oh, you have blonde hair. Really? I never knew that about myself. Yeah. You know, you're thanks. Captain obvious. Yeah. No, that's what I say all the time. Whatever. But he doesn't see himself. So when you look at a chart and you see that Neptune there, you understand that.

Oh, this makes sense. This makes perfect sense. If he were too focused on self, he wouldn't be able to accomplish his goal. So he's come from a direct past life where the focus has been on just self, like whatever that means. I don't quite know what that means, but self.

So he wasn't able to do the other things he wanted to do. And this is like a cycle of three for him in this lifetime. So he's accomplished it. And I'm going to tell you something else. I'm going to go out on a limb and do one of my predictions. Okay. So within the next eight years, he's in another career. So the music thing is not where he's staying. Please don't say politics because that's what it's leading towards. Okay. Well, it's eight years from now and the music is not what he's doing. It's so clear. He's, he's,

Okay. When we come in, you know how they say we have a purpose in a life and we have a goal. Okay. Mine was about my children. Yours is to come through childhood and teach others through your candor and humor and truth and all of that. And you're doing it. His was to sing publicly, but he's finishing that from the most recent past life, which ended suddenly. Now this is even stranger and

It ended because, okay, his wiring internally. So electrical system heart is very sensitive. So that's what happened in the past life. He carries it into this life. That's the only reason you need to watch what he does. Because like, let's say he did a drug like speed. I'm just making that up. I'm saying a what if.

Don't go trolling us. But if he was to do something that quickened the body, this would be problematic for him because he's wired that way from the past life. OK, so there was an issue. He carries that with him. So the music had to come to clear that. It's weird. But I saw that when I was looking at his chart. OK. And so he has another career. It's about eight years from now. So this is 2024. Jump ahead eight years. And I think actually within five, he'll stop it.

this music because as much as he's brilliant at the music it's not actually what he wants I don't know if he tells people okay yeah it's not actually what he wants so when it's not I'm not saying it's bad we're not saying that we're not saying that daddy but it's not what he wants so he's focused in a different direction that's what his soul has to do very powerful chart led by spirit

the rulership of the Neptune in the first house is placed in the 12th of past life. So the first half of this life is completing that life. You see? Yeah. Some people have just one life. Some people have three in one life. Like there's three distinct karmic breaks. You can see it in hand reading with people too. I'm not good at that, but palm reading. Yeah. You can see where their life stops and starts and then it's a whole, like they go left, totally different. He has that in this life. So he will never, never,

You think you're rebellious? He will never be confined by what... Oh, I say that about... That's why... Not to cut you off. Yeah, no, cut me off. Everybody says, oh, Bunny's his handler. I'm like, do you think I can ever handle this man? No, no. No fucking way. Oh, you get the handler conversation. Yeah. Okay, shit.

shut the fuck up. Yeah. I'm his handler. I'm like, you guys must not know my husband. No, no. I can see it in the chart. I can see a chart. Charts never lie. So when I look at a chart and then I pick it up psychically, I'm like, shut up. You're not telling that man shit. Yeah. No, no. Daddy wears the pants. I control the zipper. Yeah. That's it. That's why they're calling you the handler. You have hands and a zipper. Yeah, literally. But not the way they mean it. Right. Because they're so, yeah. But it's interesting because he will never, never, never,

he even if everybody says but you're a musician he will break that mold and say but i'm not i believe it yeah that i mean he is but he won't stay stuck so he will not he broke so many molds within the music industry totally so i i 100 can but i mean he won't he'll probably sing for his loved ones and people but he will not be doing the tour thing because he's being guided in a different way it's completely spiritual completely from behind the scenes i have to remember this

Yeah. Okay. That's exactly right. Yeah. I got to tell you something too. Okay. So he's so cute. He has a Scorpio South node, Taurus North node, and the South nodes conjunct to Saturn. That's what I was picking up on the ending of the lifetime. Okay. So meaning that life he didn't complete, uh,

I'm not saying he died early I'm just saying for whatever reason it wasn't finished and it there's a desire line so we came into this life the goal in life in a chart is to die without having a desire right like whatever like let's say you want to buy a yacht and you never did or something stupid like that never do that just fulfillment yeah it's correct and

And so his, his goal in this life, and it's very important because I'm sure he maybe feels bad about the way he was raised or whatever, like what happened to him, just the circumstances, but he had to build himself because his North nodes and Taurus never ever will a person with North node and Taurus be handed like gobs of money and stuff, unless they put into it themselves. Right. That's the karma of that Taurus earthbound monetary money.

build in one. These are my Tauruses right here. Yeah. And you two look like little Tauruses. Wait, what's your birthday? Oh, May 18th. You're early. You're late. Well, you're middle smack dab. Oh, it's so interesting. You two would be different, huh? Yeah. They're complete opposites. Yeah. Totally different. You kind of have water in you somewhere. She's a, she's a whole Aries. This woman right here is all Aries. Aries. Yeah. I did her chart and she's got like seven. What's in water. I'm not sure. I'd have to look again. It's been a while. I see water.

Sorry, I see sensitivity. It might be a water moon or something. I'm not sure. I'd have to see. This one's quirky over here. She's pretty much a Gemini. Yeah, the quirky one. Yeah, she's pretty much a whole Gemini right here. I compare her to our 16-year-old daughter. Oh, there you are, you quirky girl. Ha ha ha.

they're the same yeah so it's interesting when you're looking at mimi's chart and you say she's all aries that's called a stellium four more planets in the same sign yeah so so jay has a capricorn stuff i know i tell everybody that do i not say that i'm like i said my husband's a sag but he's really really capricorn which how forgive me for not being able to add what is his age right now uh 39 okay then i'm going to tell you exact timing so four

42 and a half through 45 is when he's out of music and into the next career. Not that he can't do music. I'm saying this is a choice. No one's saying, don't sing. You're not saying anything that my husband hasn't already said. He always says, I don't want to be 45 years old doing music. There you go. Yeah. Says it all the time. And he's not going to, I'm here to prove that. But I'm like, I'm like, Lord, please don't let it be politics because he is really getting involved in like, you know, a lot of stuff. And I'm like, I am not meant to be a first lady.

Okay. Yeah, you are. At least you'll be able to dress cute. Right. Jeez.

Some of them dress cute, but you're be cuter. Of course, I don't know if you can wear a crop top to the UN meeting. If anybody's going to change, I'm a trailblazer. Yeah, I would. I'd wear workout pants, but you know, dress it up with heels. Like it's an outfit. I love that. That's my thing. That's an outfit. Yeah. See, it's Jay has this. This is interesting. It could be politics, but I'll tell you something.

it might be in a different way than we're thinking about it. So it might be abdicacy,

something like politics but in a different way right if that makes his own version yeah no it could because he's got he's got pluto in the 10th in scorpio he's got saturn in scorpio and he's got the stellium in capricorn capricorn always supersedes after like 40s 50s and 60s they never are not successful later in life unless they choose to like

and not do it, right? Unless they're like stubborn Capricorns and like, fuck you, I'm not doing it. I have Capricorn in my chart. Yeah, you do. So now the other weirdo thing about him is I just...

I have to say this. Forgive me. But I don't know about his love life prior to you or anything. And I don't even care. But he was like a ladies man, huh? He's always been a ladies man. That's what I try to tell everybody. No, no, he is. Nobody listens to me. Women will stalk him, find him. Yeah. It's his... See people? People.

It's his energy. Yes, because he has Mars in Aquarius. Yeah. That's friendly. Now listen, when you're a friendly man and you're not molesting somebody. Yeah, he's not creepy. Yes, you're friendly. Women take that as flirting. Yeah. So they're like, oh, he likes me. Yeah. And then he has to chase them away because he's like, because of course with the sad rising, he's like,

I just want to be their friends, but she like wants to marry me. So for you to marry him is super good because he ran a lot. Yeah. Well, he running and didn't give me an option. He was like, I want to get married. And I was like, I do not. And he was like, but that's, you're going to marry me. And like, he was the first to say, I love you to me. And I wouldn't say it back to him. And he got mad at me.

Like he was like, what do you mean you don't love me? And I'm like, bro, we just started banging. Like, let's give me, it's been two weeks. Like what are you talking about? Yeah, exactly. It's, I'm going to pull up yours now. I have to like, I can't keep it all in my head right now. I can sometimes, but not if I'm not studying a day in and day out. Okay. Let me just find you. Look, look who needs glasses here in a squinting and not admit it. I got my bifocals right here. Yeah. So do you? Yeah. I cannot see without them. Yeah.

You're too young for that. No, I'm 44. That's super young. Super young. I'd love to be that again. Okay. So yeah, you look 44. So I love that. No, you really love that about you saying that. What do I have to pay you? Nothing. I was telling them that that when you weren't even here. Oh my God. Yeah. I'm glad that you see it in person and think it's okay. You look even better in person. I do. Yeah. Well, that's because I actually, okay. That's good. Cause I put effort into it.

you look gorgeous when i go on my own it's like i've draggled in um okay so you're his capricorn now it's interesting because he had a vision when he saw you meaning he saw okay like he knew there was a knowingness we call that spiritual knowingness claircognizance clear knowing okay so he knew when he saw you that's just it because you're um when we look at see look at you

This is crazy. Okay, so you're really Aquarius-ed out, but you're Capricorn rising. Now that is what gets you. Okay, so you're low cap rising. Yeah.

That part is what sits on his planet. So you do motivate him. So technically you could say that you motivate him, but it's because you can land in his thread of information. And I will say for you in the next couple of months is going to be a little bit difficult. I know you mentioned the new studio and you're doing another show, but you're going up energetically like your chart is lit. So how do I want to word this for you?

letting go of things that no longer serve you, whatever that means. It could be a pair of like fuzzy boots that you wear because you love them or whatever, right? Letting go of things that no longer suit you and then kind of mourning the loss of who you were because you weren't quite ready to let go of her, but now you're over here. And so you're her, not her, but they're both you. So it's this two timeframes sitting like that, but you have very powerful aspects. A lot of money, you have millionaires, which...

It's neither here nor there, but you have a lot of aspects. And because your nodes are at 29 degrees this lifetime, you had to learn how to present yourself in public because you were squashed in the last lifetime. I don't know who squashed you. The mother wound is you carry mother wound with you over several lifetimes. Okay. Several from what I could see. The mother wound is not what you think though. It's more an issue of,

of not abandoning your own femininity. It's not like the mothers did to you, but whoever were your mothers and this life, that life,

And maybe like two back abandoned themselves as women and you chose not to. Yeah. That's your... My mom definitely did. She was a beautiful woman and just fucking let her whole life go to shit. Yeah. See... And I hate that. You watch that though more than one life. That's why you could not in this life. Okay? Why you could not. And it's so...

so funny because your mom's like doing this with her hands. Tell her to knock it off and get the hell out of here. Vanessa. She's doing no, I don't even know her name, but she's doing this. And, and I'm going to say to you, it's funny because, okay, I don't know what area it is that you live in now, but there is a whole bunch of family stuff that you're going to dive into family genetics, um,

the way the family worked and part of where you're connected through history in your family. She's saying that it was hidden from her. Your mother did not know her whole background. Your mother was not privy to where she came from. And your mother, this is what they're telling me. It's no excuse for your mother's behavior. They like to come through and try to make amendments over here. But, um, the way that I'm feeling it and I see her to the end of her life, she suffered. I see her kind of sitting like this and wringing her hands. So the, the,

Your anxiety is genetic, all of that. But she was hidden from her own life. So she didn't understand that. She couldn't feel who she was because it was hidden from her. Was there something like weird when she was born about, I don't know if you've ever spoken about this. I have not heard you say it, but was she not told her history? Because she's, it's not what it is. So you can go back in your family, but it's not what it is.

I don't know. It's hidden. I don't know. I don't know a lot on my dad's side. My dad, I don't know like a lot of that family. But my mom told me that I was born into just a bunch of Kentucky white trash witches. There was like seven of them. And they were just like all had gifts. They all were like spiritual. Yeah. You got from her. But no, there's something hidden about it. There's a tie to your family. And it's...

forgive me for saying this, it's connected to war back in the time. So when you say warrior, but it's connected to like American war. And I almost want to say in the Appalachians, I have no idea where that is really because I'm Canadian. Where is that? Okay, Appalachians. Yeah, but your family was connected to that. So there's hierarchy in the family unit and

and then your mother's side cast out over here. I'm getting that. And it makes her nervous that you're going to find this out because it's kind of, sorry for laughing, it's going to kind of undermine who you thought you were. Not the witch part. That's probably why you were pushed over here. But it's not what you think. She was hidden. Your mom was hidden. So they didn't tell her the full truth.

Yeah. Even if they told her truth, it was bits and pieces and not fully true. Can I stop finding out shit about my weird ass fucking family? Yeah. I'm so tired of it. Like, why do I got to be the fucking gatekeeper for all this shit? You know why? Because you're breaking the cycle and the cycle is not, um,

And not throwing yourself under the bus in order to be harmonious in any kind of relationship, being true to who you are as a female soul. You had to master that. That's actually what you're doing. And the stark childhood is difficult for you. Now look at that.

There's your Neptune and Sag. So you see your husband exactly who he is. Yeah. 100%. Now your stellium in Virgo, three or more planets, you have Saturn, Mars, and Jupiter. That Mars in Virgo is super hard. Yeah. Super hard because regardless of what Jay is, he shows up like that in your chart. Okay. So it doesn't matter the sign that you marry, the energy shows up there. And so you, he's your third marriage, you said? Okay. So first marriage in astrology is the seventh house, right?

So that was a whiny cry baby man who was codependent and needed you to take care of everything. Okay. Yeah. So that was the first one. All of them. Second marriage is in the ninth house in a chart of a woman. Like if you do Liz Taylor, you're going around the whole chart a couple of times. She's had like seven marriages, right? Yeah, exactly. So you have to jump. Is the ninth house. You have Libra in the ninth with

Pluto in Libra control control issues dominant possibly violent but stalking okay so that's second husband number two okay so control over your energy so that's probably why you split away from him husband number three

Big daddy over here. Yeah. Neptune in Sag in the 11th house. Friends first. Okay. Always friends. Even if let's say something happened and no one wanted to have sex ever again. Friends. Yeah. And that's actually extremely important. Friends and Neptune. Musical friends. Musician. So you married a musician. Also higher minded friends. The two of you will go towards where you need to go.

whether you think you will or not. Yeah. So it doesn't matter. Like you could say, I'm going to change my life and I'm going to open up a chicken farm and raise chickens. Yeah. And you're, and you'll still end up where you need to be because of that. And it's a spiritual connection because it's Neptune. Right.

So a lot of times you're taking your glasses off, looking at him going, I didn't know that about him. Like he, it's, he surprises you. Yeah. That's how I am with those tattoos. Yeah. I'm like, when did you get that? He's like, I've had this bitch. Did you get that? I always see a new tattoo on him every time. Yeah. Where do you see us in like the future in the next like five years, Jay and I?

Okay. You're not in music. That's what I'm... I know. Don't... The fans are coming for me now. No, it's okay. Like, bitch, shut up. I feel like when I'm looking and I go around in my head, there's a connection to Europe with the two of you. So I'm not sure what that is, but I go around the world and then I go out of the country. So is that what is in mind for you? I'm not sure yet, but I mean, it's not... I get a connection to Europe out of the country, so I'm pretty sure you're going to do something there. I don't feel...

you're going to stay in one place or another so I don't feel there's a settling energy and I feel the karma of the work I can't see if it's politics but I do know it's a different career for both of you and I do know you're going at it together I don't see a divorce if that's what any crazy people are asking no no we're not we've already made a decision that no matter what we go through we're sticking it out in this lifetime like we are in game for each other yeah I don't see I don't nobody's gonna put up with him the way I put up with him and no one's gonna put up with

me the way he puts it with me like we just get each other yeah it's interesting um in the next five years I do feel though like your career is going to change yeah as well and not I'm not talking politics with you you are going through it'll be the next 26 years of your life actually I

which is a long fucking time. Yeah. You're going, you're headed in a different way. And I'm going to go out on a limb and say this, you will actually do this work at one point in your life, period. End of conversation. Don't come for me. But I'm literally hearing that right now. That's what you're supposed to be doing as a healer. You're doing it in this capacity, but you're going to figure out a way to do it differently and,

Like not in a podcast way is what I'm saying. And actually it could be a group way, but it's a one-on-one way and you will do it. It'll come to you. You have guides around you. You have a lot of people. You have like wild lifetimes with very indigenous people. So meaning you have that in your back.

crowned as well so there's like lineage all the way you have a lot of people around you like for many many obviously it's many lifetimes because it wouldn't be in the most recent three that you've been that but you have that and you've always been like a medicine woman so I feel like your career is going to go in that direction there's also something to do with art because it comes across as very colorful to me so I'm assuming art but it might not be painting art it could be a different expression I'm not picking up on I don't get any issues with health I do feel

I do feel, though, that Jay has to look at himself and ground into himself. Okay. Like actually look at himself. By look, I mean understand he's a human. Yeah. And step into it, which I'm sure he knows he is. He has to take his pants off one leg at a time like we all do. Health-wise, how do you see Jay? I feel actually like he's pretty robust and consistent with his health. Like I don't...

See with him, when he passes, it's going to be sudden. It's not anytime soon that I can see, but I can see like out. So he won't be burdened. He has purpose right now. Not to say anyone who passes young doesn't because they do, but his purpose is still here. So I don't even get that around him. The only thing I would say is his wiring is very sensitive. So anything that he eats, drinks, smokes, ingests,

like furniture, polish, whatever. He has to be careful and I don't know if he's aware of that because he kind of pushes himself without paying attention, which is typical of Sagittarius. They will push themselves into the ground even if they're like, oh, my foot's broken. It's okay. I can walk there. He's very aware of it. He has atrial fibrillation. He's had to have his heart shocked a

few times okay yeah it's his electrical system and I I don't think I get the electric I can see that that's from the past life that shows in his chart he came in with that actually his dad had it everybody in his family has it too yeah it's like I don't feel he's gonna pass what I feel with him though um he has to be very careful because he has triggers like sensitive food drink

chemicals. Like he's sensitive and I don't know that he's aware of that. He is. Well, he's starting to be, he's always thought I was crazy because I'm so like get my blood work done and only eat a certain diet and all this other stuff. And he's always thought I was crazy. And finally this year he has literally hopped on the same train as me, even going to the same doctors and trying to one up me and get an even better doctor, Gary Brecca. Yeah. And,

Get a better blood test. Does he do that? John does that with me. I'm like, okay, but whatever. So yeah. So this year he's really like taking it in. Do you see, or can you feel any more children around us? Okay. Can I ask you who Catherine is?

That is my grandmother. Okay. Yeah. Cause I hear the name real strong. That's my mom's mom. Okay. Yeah. The name real strong. You liked her though, right? I mean, you like your mom. I love my mom. Yeah. I didn't like her. I loved her. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I didn't really know her. Okay. Because I feel, I feel like you, I just heard the name real strong. So she's here as well because I just heard it. God, if it's not my mom, it's the fucking her too. Well, I think probably, I think probably the secrets you're going to uncover have to do with

She was very secretive. Yeah. That's what I'm thinking. So I'm, if I'm outing your family, like outing that you're going to find that she's going to come through and try to block it. No, no, no, no. You can't get me. Yeah. I feel it's interesting. I feel you're a lot like her. Okay. I don't know what I mean by that. I'm not, I don't think I mean looks. I think something in you is a lot like her. You have, when you ask about kids coming to the family, um,

Are you talking about a male child? I wish. Okay. Yeah, I feel a boy child. Part of your karma with fully understanding yourself as a female would be the concept of creation and what is the thing that human female women can do but to create relationships.

That is the biggest form of creation. I just feel like I've been healing so much trauma with my parents that I finally am ready to be a parent. Like I've helped raise Bailey since she was seven. And I think that also showed me that, Hey, I'm not going to fuck up a kid's life too badly. You know, that's, that's your trauma response. You would never hurt a child that, that, that wouldn't, you'd be quite the opposite. Yeah. You're not going to be perfect. Cause when they hit teenage years, you're like, shut up.

yeah you know that's how I am with Bailey right now my kid please but I feel like I've mastered not mastered but I feel like I can do this you know and you can do it and I just want a little piece of Jay and I together and then the next best thing after that is being a grandparent oh my gosh because I'll be at the age to be a grandparent when they start having kids so that'll be perfect John was 47 with Jason and 50 with Keith

No. And he had kids at 19 and 20, 47 and 50. And now he's with them with the grandkids. It's about, he loves them. So it's the best thing. Yeah. No, it's the best thing. You can't beat that.

Okay. So I do have a question that we can do on record. Yeah. So I, I have been pregnant three times in my life. Oh my God. I, Oh, I wish I'd have said that to you. Okay. Go ahead. What were you going to say? Yeah. I wish I'd said that to you because you do have a girl on the other side and you're not going to believe I said that. She follows me everywhere. Yeah. You'll have a little girl on the other side. You told me you were pregnant three times. So no one's going to believe that, but I wish I'd have said it, but you do. And she's growing up with you on the other side. And now let me explain this.

So sometimes we have children here and they pass and they reincarnate and they go somewhere else or they go in a different dimension and we don't see them. Miscarriages can happen like that. Sometimes you can be pregnant and the baby comes to experience your physical. And then for whatever reason, their choice or yours, and I'm not sure which it is because it's different for everybody. They go on the other side, but they don't.

grow up with you over there so they stick very close to their parent or parents depending their entire life so they are like a certain age they go through all of the things and celebrate everything with you that's one child I see like that female yeah I've always said I have a little girl that follows me I haven't seen her in a long long time but before like you know probably like 10 years ago she was always she made herself and it was three years before that that you

miscarried? Um, I had, so when I was 16, when I was 16, I got pregnant the first time I had sex and, um, I ended that with an abortion because I was scared. I didn't know what to do. I was a runaway. And then after that I had, uh,

17, 18, 19, three years, three, four years after I had an ectopic pregnancy. Oh, that you can't do. Yeah. Cause you die from that. I had two ectopic pregnancies. Oh, interesting. See, that is from the past life and the confirming that you accept your feminine,

self inside of you your femininity and so you're in this life as a woman you see so you experience that from that life so there's there's two you're also merging in this life so you're becoming stronger woman and you're breaking family patterning and cycling and that's what you're doing wild

Yeah, no, that is what you're doing. So the topic pregnancy is just to let you know you can get pregnant and you're still a female. Believe it or not, I know we have this war, men against women, that the government makes up anyway. Yeah. Souls come and go. We switch colors. That I do know because I've had past life visions and I'm...

little boy in the south and I am a dark-skinned little boy and I'm in my crib jumping up and down and there's shag carpet on the floor don't ask me when that was but I see like a like a thick carpet on the floor and it's weird and I'm in like a nursery or something so we do switch male to female back and forth oh I definitely carry some male traits for sure I like sometimes I tell everybody in this life I'm like I'm so glad I wasn't born a male because I would have already gone to jail for murder

Ditto over here. Like I swear to God, I'm like, thank God. Yeah, I know it's hard, but we go in and out. We carry because we're spirit, which is neither nor. We just are. And you come in, but in this life, you wanted to ground into female. So that's what you're doing. That also has a lot to do with the way that you choose to show up as a female in a physical situation.

sense. So you chose your look as a female. And that's just like I did, just like you two did. We choose our look and we choose to come into the world to express it in a certain way. Some women are making a statement in a different way, you know, like they're choosing to dress however it is they're dressing or not dressing. So you chose it. So it's to ground into that.

Crazy. So you're doing it. Yeah. Like you're saying, I am female this time. There's no confusing it with you. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no. I'm all woman, baby. I am all woman, baby. Yeah. So I wanted to ask you, I know everybody asks you about like the P. Diddy's, the O.J. Simpsons, the all that jazz and stuff like that. And I just- Bye, O.J. I know, right? See you in hell. Yeah. Like, good careless about that, dude. But I want to know about like a couple other-

Throw them at me. Okay. Princess Diana. Oh my gosh. Princess Diana. I feel such a connection with her. She was very publicly. What that is, is that's a very big aura that comes out because she was a public person. So she has to be able to connect with the public. One would hope. She was one of the first videos I did on my channel.

She was very much, and I can't remember everything I said, but she's the one that showed me that they trafficked children. She 100% knew about it. I don't feel she's reincarnated. I know some people think she has. I feel like she's in a dimension where she's actually doing work to help people understand that here. Now,

Where I got confused with it because I liked Princess Diana, but then I don't like what these people do because to be born into that family, there's a certain ritual that goes on with those people. I'm Canada. I grew up around the Queen. You know, we hear our nonsense over there. Queen Lizard. Okay, I said it. I had to say it. Yeah, something was off about her. Very off. Yeah. But Princess Diana... And Charles. Charles.

I can't. He's the evil. Thank you. Yes. All the indigenous kids in Canada, they flew over to Kamloops and they just found the bodies this year. When I used to talk about it as a kid, I was called crazy and called crazy before COVID for saying it. I said that queen took those kids and did whatever she did. And they found those bodies from those schools. They did find them in 2022, I think, or 2021, whatever it was. But you can look it up. Prince Philip. I've always gotten evil vibes from him. Just demonic. They are demonic. They sell out. Who?

Okay, just think about it. We are free souls and we come into this life and we have these people that say they're royalty. I'm sorry. Just because I'm born here in captivity, I actually believe that. In captivity to them, why do I have to listen to you? They steal everyone's money. They don't do anything. I mean, why do I care what they do? Who are they? You know, I mean, they still, the Queen of England still owns all the land in Canada. We have like leases on our property, allegedly, according to paperwork. Right.

Like no one knows that, but if you go research it, she made sure. Cause we're still in the British. I'm like, no, I hated it. I was kicked out of school for refusing to sing. God save the queen. Oh, eighth grade. Boom out. Yeah. I hated her. Yeah. Nothing ever. I've never seen her really just like, I don't know. You can just look at people and, and tell if like their soul is like glittery.

Yeah, no, no, no. She's not, but it's indoctrination. She did a lot of interesting things in her life as far as like the history and things that she did. Right. But it's for a reason. Now, Princess Di showed me specifically, showed me maps. And I did not know this. I'm talking in 2018. I did the video with her November. She talked about the children being trafficked, always brown skin babies. And she's the one that said that. That's why I said it. I had no idea. So she's somewhere helping people.

I think actually helping expose it because I had no... And you know how I got her? I didn't care to channel her or not. She wasn't on my list. I was going through Chris Cornell and Chester Bennington. That was on my list. But I was hiking with this guy and he...

was doing makeup for her best friend. Oh, wow. And so he was talking about her and it flipped into my head. And then I went home and thought, I'll do a video on her. You know, it was here nor there. It's just who I feel like doing. And maybe I get it right. Maybe I don't. But she was very invested in that. And she actually...

honestly, she was, okay, I'm going to say the word sacrifice, but she didn't. Oh God, please. But she was taken out. Yeah, absolutely. She was absolutely murdered. And I remember, I remember going to pavilions in Burbank the day she died. I remember hearing it on the radio and going, what? It just didn't sit right. And I mean,

It was a lie. And they set the driver up too. They set everybody up like it was a payoff. The other thing that I got from her, which I don't think I've read anywhere, but it was on the video I did, is that Dodi Al-Fayed's father, so Mohammed Al-Fayed, the Herod's owner, who she was engaged with at the time, he was actually there. I didn't know this, but when I channeled her,

He was actually there when she was tested. What kind of people look up your hoo-ha to test if you're... Get out of here. But, you know... Oh, they're just British, I heard. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's abuse. Yeah. Hello. But...

His father was there. So somehow, some way there was a deal made with them back then. And I think they crossed him out of it. And that's why he obviously his son died. I understand that pain, but he was so flipped out because I don't think he thought it was going to happen because he had their word is what I got from that video. So they double crossed him too. And I don't think I ever heard him say he was there, but I saw him when I was doing that.

saw the queen mother i saw diana's father i saw the queen and i saw uh dodie's father like in just when i was like focusing on it do you think charles is gonna cross over soon i can't believe he hasn't i mean i can't believe that that's him in that body i can't believe that kate is missing yeah she's missing like i don't care what they say she's not there uh i feel even though she just did a video she just dropped a video um talking about how she has cancer yeah okay okay

I'm a basketball player. Yeah. I'm also six foot five. Yeah. Can't you tell? Yeah. You know, I'm huge. No, I don't. No, I actually...

Problem is when you play with gangsters, they take you out like gangsters. So I'm just going to word it. So they're spiritual gangsters in a way and not in a good way. They are. It's the same as MS-13. They're just like that, but they put on a different hat and call themselves monarchy. Right. I think they took her out. I can't prove it. I sound crazy, but that's what I think. And I don't think I said first when Charles got in, he wasn't going to make it like I mean.

Is that even him or are they putting a corpse up there? Yeah. I mean, he, the dude looks like he has fucking got two legs in the coffin already. Yeah, he does. His hands freak me out. Yeah. His eyes. Yeah. If you just look at his eyes, they're weird. It's very weird. And he,

I'm not going to say it. Shut up. Say it. It's fucking wife. Camilla, the side bitch. Yeah, I know. Apparently they had a kid and I kind of feel like that's true. I feel like she had a child. Like they say she had a child and I feel like she did and gave it up for adoption. Maybe some guy in Australia says he is now. He could be crazy. Yeah. Could be crazy.

Yeah. But I kind of feel like that might be his attachment to her because when you have some weird attachment, yeah. When you have a baby though with somebody and let's say you have to give it up. How do you not think about that? Yeah. You know, but I, I don't like her shenanigans and games. So I've never liked her. I think any woman that can, um, do what she did to a family and then marry into the family and expect everybody to call her the queen is just crazy. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. So moving on from them. Yeah. Marilyn Monroe. Oh God. I do have a Marilyn Monroe. Okay. I do. Yeah. Years ago I wrote something when I was doing, you know, blogs on my space. I used to have a blog. Okay. Yeah. That's how I started out. Okay. There you go. Confessions of a white trash wife.

oh nice yeah you're not white trash but nice I mean I came from it yeah so they say but is anybody trash yeah really um we're all we're all gods I feel you know even those that are acting nonsense anyway I I was thinking about Marilyn Monroe who doesn't love Marilyn fucking love Marilyn yeah and yes they murdered her I've been saying that since I was 10 I don't care they did yeah

And it's obvious. No one swallows 50 pills without water. Right. If you've ever tried to swallow aspirin, not 50 of them. I can't. I'll choke. No, they hot shot it or obviously in my opinion. Okay. So I was channeling and I wrote this thing and people thought I was talking about myself. I wasn't. I said, I felt like Marilyn was born again.

in Canada okay like for real and I felt like she was in entertainment and I said something like I felt like she was a musician and she had two kids or I said entertainment possibly music something I can't remember exactly what I said so this woman reaches out to me I said she's incarnated back down

It's hard because psychics can feel them on the other side and here because we are both here and there. So like when someone dies here, we don't physically see them, but they are here and there. So part of them is here. We only bring a part down with us and reside over there. So they say, anyway, that's how I feel about it. But this woman calls me and she's like, I'm Marilyn. And I'm like, Oh God, the crazies are out.

Anyway, her name was is Sherry Lee Laird. She was born in Scotland and actually interviewed for being Marilyn Monroe. She had the dreams, the memories, the visions. She's a musician from Toronto. She's slightly younger than me, like born in 67, I think, and has two kids.

And she I mean, they say it's her. And when you look at the research, it looks like it's her. But I felt Marilyn had reincarnated back almost immediately. Yeah. She was like, I'm coming back. Yeah. I felt like that. Well, they took her out. That's a problem with murder. You get murdered.

And they want to come back because they have to complete. So they either have to wait however many life cycles. You may, you know, I may die. You may die. We might not choose to come back in with whoever we're with now. We might go somewhere else. We always say we will. But when we get over there, we make stupid decisions like being kidnapped over here. Right. Like who chooses certain things. Yeah. And, and,

I think our lives are very faded as opposed to free will. We have free will and how we respond, but nothing about what happens to us is free will. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Because if somebody starts a war over there and your family lives over there that they weren't supposed to start because of their free will. Now I'm in the midst of their free will. So now I'm on a different path. You see? So I don't quite understand it and I don't pretend to understand it and I don't have all the answers, but I,

with Marilyn, I think she incarnated back. And I really do believe that woman is her. Like when I look at her, I get the distinct feeling that it is her. Yeah. So you should look her up. I will. I will definitely. It's an interesting thing. I mean, we all want to run around and look like different versions of Marilyn, don't we? Yeah, absolutely. I mean, yeah, I love Marilyn. Cause she's the cutest. Uh,

Well, Sloan, is there anything you want to promote while you're here? Oh my God. Just the fact that I got dressed and showered. Yeah. What do you do? Do you have any projects this year? I do. Well, they're projects. I have to get a team. My young friend says I need a team. You have to. You got to get people who believe in you. Yeah. I have to have a team because it's so hard to even answer all the emails. But I'm back to my client. I still read clients day in and day out. One thing I would like to say on your podcast, because more people will listen.

My calendar is not booked out for a year. I only book two weeks at a time because I don't want to be obligated to the reading if I change my mind because I'm ADD. Right. As I'm staring at the mic cross-eyed, but I'm ADD. So people always go, oh, you're booked for a year. No, I'm not. I would never do that. That's ridiculous. Yeah. I mean, I know people do it. They say they're sold out. I refuse to let my calendar get like that. Yeah, that would be...

I couldn't. Can you imagine? No, I don't even like I have to plan a week in advance. That's it. Because I tell my team. Yeah, I tell my team. I'm like, talk to me. Let's get through this and talk to me about the next week after we. Yeah, because I can't do it. And if I have to set up readings and then you cancel and I have to send your money back back then six months. What? Yeah. But the projects I hope to start this year. I am fit. I did finish my astrology book, beginner astrology. So I'll be doing the courses with that.

And I have to film those videos when I get back. That's what I'm doing to correspond with the book. It's like a astrology for dummies, for lack of a better word. But I love that people need it. Do you know how many people ask me all the time to how to read a birth chart and birth chart? And I'm like, I, I'm not your girl. Yeah. Sloan's your girl. Not your girl.

Well, this book tells you step by step, like what is your sun, moon and rising? Because a lot of people don't even know how to find that. I get that all the time. And it's your birth time. And no, you can't just make up a time to make it. I'm like, stop that. I don't know my time, but get out of here. No. So you can do sun on the ascendant and you can rectify a chart, but that's a lot of skill. So you have to really...

want to and you have to do it by the deaths of people and injuries and illness and moves and things like that and then figure out what was happening so you work backwards and there's only very few practitioners that can do that honestly you know like that but anyway that's coming out and I want to start this is just my goal in the next year is to start my grief project which is connecting with all of the people whose children have passed but I want to do it from the perspective of

Okay. The siblings that are left behind and the backstories of the people and how you handle the grief.

Because I know I handled it so much differently. Even than John, I was very public with Keith. It was the most public thing I've ever done. I couldn't shut up. It was weird. Other people get drunk and high. Other people shut right down and never come out of their house. So everybody handles it different. And I also really want to tell people what to say to people because they say dumb shit. And I'll just say this now.

God doesn't give you anything you can't handle. Well, bitch, I can't handle this. So, you know, like don't say that to somebody. Yeah, that's grieving or just lost their child. Yeah, you can't. Who can handle it? It's like somebody having a panic attack and telling them to calm down. Oh, yeah, you can't. You can't calm down. Like, what do you mean? I'd love to. I'd love to. Teach me how. Yeah, I can't. I think I'm going to die and you poison me. No.

And I'm in my underwear going to the hospital running for Mad Dash. Exactly. But that's one of the projects. So I just call it my grief project. And I've met so many people that are interested. And just doing my work, I mean, you know, just doing my – I still read people day in and day out like usual. It's just like a hairdresser. I get up and go to work and just cut hair in a different way. Where can people book with you?

When my calendar's open, they can, they book on my website, sloanbella.com, which we are redoing right now because it keeps crashing because the fraudsters are out. You know how they try to fraud in on your, well, maybe not. I haven't had that done yet. Okay. Yeah. They try to buy like,

$20,000 worth of something and then they jam it with little fake credit cards and then it yeah they do it all the time they do it to my side all the time yeah so they all the all the companies that take the money have checks and balances so it ends up shutting your website down

But they still do it. Like they'll try it 160 times in a row. That's crazy. Who does that? Like who's got that kind of time? Yeah, that's wild. It's bots. I think it's bots, they say. But yeah, that's what I'm doing. That's the project I'm doing. Yes. Sloane, I am so happy that we got to sit here. I am so happy too. That was like what? A two and a half hour podcast? Yeah.

Oh my God. Oh my God. We might have to do part one and two. Yeah. Oh my goodness. Yeah. I'm so happy to meet you. It was the best booking ever. Dude, I could sit here and talk to you for hours. And I told my husband last night, I said, this woman is going to be a lifelong friend. Oh good. I'm glad. Yeah. I'm so glad. I'm so glad because I was so excited. Um, my PR girl, she was like,

here's a list of what do you want to do? Well, actually she tracked me down and bugged me. I didn't bug her. She was bugging me. You heard that right, Mary. She was bugging. Mary bug with her 10 text messages a day. Yeah. And voice messages. She was bugging me and I'm like,

I don't want to do anything. I want to go hiking. And that's it. And then I looked at the list and then yours was there. I'm like, okay, if you can get me on bunny, I'll do it. That's how she won me over. I don't care. This is not, then she called me and she's like crazy. I just got you on bunny. I'm like, shut up.

The door. I was like, she was like, would you have a slum bell on the podcast? I said, I would absolutely fucking love to. Oh, it was so great. I was like, I'm a huge fan. I was so excited. I was like, I'm so excited. And so now Mary's part of my team. Oh, yeah. She worked her way in. But yeah, it was so great. Yeah. She sent out of everybody.

She's like, this one, this one. Oh, I appreciate you so much. You remind me of just things that I experienced and you use your, your experience for good, which I freaking love. And you're not ashamed of what you did. I have fought that. Like people are like, lower your voice. You have kids. I'm like, my kids know who the hell I am.

like how do you think they don't know who I am yeah you know that everybody knows who I am and so I was just so excited oh I'm so excited thank you so much why don't you shout out your IG and your TikTok and oh yeah it's all under at Sloan Bella any other version of my name is not me

Numbers in front of it, underscore. You know, I don't ask for money, just so we're very clear. Do not do that. You do not have a curse on you. No one can take it off with money if you do. Oh, my goodness. It's a lifelong thing and you have to do it through your actions. Aw. You know? It's karmic. Yes, it's karmic. If it's a curse, it's family patterning through generational behaviors. Mm-hmm.

You have to choose to change the behavior. Wow. No one's throwing. Do you think that orange man bad would be alive if curses worked? No. Right. Or Bush or even Obama, any of them, anybody, whoever pick one, they would not be alive. Yeah. Do you know how many people are out spellcasting against those people all day long? Yeah. Hundreds of thousands. I'm sure there's an underground community out there. Absolutely. So,

They're not really that effective. You can do it, but it's manipulation of energy. So it always goes back to you. Tenfold. Oh my God. That's why I always say return to sender. That's what I do. I give it to God. I actually have, because my temper is so bad sometimes because I'm a little bit masculine too. I'm the same way. I resort to anger. That's my first. Yeah, I go right to anger. Before love, anything? No, anger. I punch you out. My reaction is fierce like that. Like just like, ah!

like yeah and uh but i give it to god i'm saying please i can't handle this so please take it back wherever it came from i love that yeah that's what i do well you're gonna have to come back and visit me i'm gonna come back and visit you it's gonna be so fun yeah thank you so much thank you for having me and thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of dumb blonde i will see you guys next week bye