Kimber Woods Will Take Control and Toss You Around
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What's up, you sexy motherfuckers? Welcome to another episode of Dumb Blonde. Today, we got this hot, beautiful, bodacious blonde. And you got some new boobies today, too. I do have new boobies. Oh, my God. I'm going to ask to see them because I really want to see them. Kimber Woods, what's up, baby? How are you? I'm so good. Thank you.

for having me dude I as soon as I saw you on uh Charlie Classics shit I was like who is this babe she's like a tight cute little package I'm like who is she I need to meet her and Charlie's like oh that's Kimber he's like she's so cute I was like dude she's I want to see her butthole and he was like you can definitely see my you can do more than just see my butthole dude well I'm gonna be here all week we might have to film some content together absolutely

So tell me, how did you get involved in the porn industry? Okay. So I had a psycho ex-boyfriend. There's so many psycho exes today, right? It's crazy. His crazy ass was like, I was so innocent. I had only had sex with like three people before. That's how the psychos always prey on the innocent ones. Yes. And I was really like, I was dumb. I had just gotten out of my mom's house. I didn't know any better. He's like, you're so hot. You're so good at, you know, at fucking, you should do porn. And it took me a

while and finally I did it and I ended up really liking it being good at it right he got jealous oh my god I left him and I was like bye I'll

You're like, thanks for turning me out, buddy. Oh, yeah. Thanks for making me the little slut that I am today. Oh, no. I think it fucking works out because literally this fucking OnlyFans world is insane, right? Oh, yeah. How are you doing over there in OnlyFans world? OnlyFans is way different, but it's awesome. And I feel like I get to interact with my fans and the fans that are on there are true fans.

Diehards. Yeah. Diehard. Yeah. Like they are literally there for just you. Like that's their jam. Yeah. Like they're like Kimberwood's team all the way. They're like my cheerleaders. They're freaking awesome. And it's, it's really helped me take control of my career and do it the way I want to. Right. And portray myself the way I want to portray myself.

Absolutely. So when you're saying that doing porn, do they make you fit like a certain image? Oh my God. Yes. Yeah. Are you kidding me? So I'm Latina. Yeah. I just got that from you sitting here. I'm like, Holy shit. She got a little spicy mommy up in here. I'm excited. I'm Brazilian. So nobody ever, ever thinks that. No wonder you have that body. Okay.

But I don't speak it. My dad never taught me Portuguese, but I am my Volvo was her name was the 90. Like I am full Brazilian. So when I when you just said that you were Latin, I was just like, holy fuck. OK, makes total sense. Yeah, I'm Cuban. And I remember getting it when I first got in there like, oh, you have too much of an accent because I'm from Miami. So I had a very thick accent. Oh, you have too much of an accent. You sound ghetto accent.

I had like red hair and my natural eyes, which I wear now, my natural eyes, thank God. Yeah. They're beautiful. And they're like, can you be white? Ew. And I was like... You're like, no, I'm not white. I was like, I guess. And then my agent named me Kimber Woods, which is fine. I really like the name. I sound like...

like a really slutty like country singer. Yeah, no, no, I love it. That is totally true, dude. I would fucking, I would come to a concert. I would come to a Kimber Woods concert for sure. It's just me with my tits. Yeah, no, I love that. So, okay. When you first got into porn, what was like your first scene like?

I always ask the porn stars that come on because I want to know because I've been in the industry a long time. I was never a porn star but I was a working girl. I was an escort. I stripped for fucking 11 years. Like I've been in the industry too. So I know what it's like. The first time I ever did a lap dance, I farted. And,

And I'm telling you right now, I blew, I was, I was, God, was I 18? Yeah, I was 18 dancing at Cheetah's. I don't know how long you've been out here, but dancing at Cheetah's, which was a fucking shithole now. And they threw me in a bachelor party and I was so nervous because I had never done that. You know how like when you get anxiety, you fucking have to shit. Yeah.

And I farted thinking it could be a silent one and nobody would notice. And it was so bad that the people started pointing finger. The dudes were like, dude, you did that. You ripped ass. And literally it was little old me just over there farting on people's laps. I tend to fart on guys that I don't like when I'm giving them lap dances. Yeah. Just like twerking. And they don't even know. They're just like, this is the best thing that's ever happened in my life. Oh God. No, they're either drunk or on so many drugs. It's just like, fuck yeah. Yeah.

You're like, just give me your wallet, bro. Not literally. All right. So your first scene. Okay. So my first scene was with my psycho ex. He booked me with him. What a fucking weirdo. Right? So he almost, it sounds like he wanted to be a porn star. He was. Oh, okay. Gotcha. He really was. Like he was established already. Wow. Yeah. I...

single-handedly destroyed his career because of what he did to me but anyway good i would like to hear about this oh i'm so gonna tell you yay um so the first scene it was for reality kings i'll never forget oh my god it's called perfect picked pussy okay and my little my little virgin vagina oh my baby so fucking scared you can see it in the photos yeah

Just so stiff. I remember my first photo shoot too. It's like just the worst. Like there's, there's at least two years of me just. Nobody knows. People don't realize posing like how you have to be in front of the camera. It's hard. It's difficult. And you literally take 500 pictures just to get those two. No. Yeah.

No. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, to be fair, I take like 500 photos of myself and I only choose like one. Yeah. Yeah. No, no. Same. I literally have 36,000 pictures in my phone right now and maybe fucking a hundred of them have seen the light of day. You can send me some of those. I just might, baby. I just might. All right. So your first scene, you were nervous as hell.

What happens next? You took pictures. I took pictures. And then did you get to pay? Okay. So it was your, with your dude. So it wasn't that bad. Okay. No, but my first scene with another person was, yeah, let me hear about that. It was awkward. Um, I feel like they don't have hot dudes in porn. God,

No, they're few and far between. Right. And honestly, they're not even actually hot. It's just the way they act and hold themselves. Right. I never liked the European guys. Right. Um, cause they were always nice. Right. They smelled good. I feel like the American guys that they had just were always stinky. They're always bald. Oh,

my God. Like they're always bald. I literally, when I watch porn to whack off, I have to specifically type in like tattooed buff guy, you know, like I can't just fucking watch fucking Harold and Kumar have sex. Like I just can't do it. I watch hentai at this point. Yeah. What is that? It's like anime porn. Oh,

Oh my God, that is a thing. I remember Haley, my fucking makeup artist in Nashville woke up one day and caught her fucking boyfriend next to her, like jacking off watching family guy porn. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. I mean, to be fair, I watch girls like that grow tentacles and fuck each other with them.

with them. That's wild. So do you think being in the industry, it kind of jades your sexual perception of things? Oh my God. Yes. Yeah. So do you think like you need like harder stuff now or different? I'm very specific. Right. I have a very specific kink that I like. And if it's not that it will, I will not get wet. What is it? I have a daddy kink. Oh, I like it. No, that's hot. Okay. So your husband, he's sitting over here. My husband, yes. Is daddy. He's

daddy. That's daddy. So he pretends he's your dad. Like explain this for people at home because some people don't know what daddy kinks are. So for me personally, it's more of a dom submissive scenario. He's not necessarily my dad. Okay. But it's more of just like daddy is an authoritative kind of title. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Just very authoritative. Like I'm

I'm very dominant. Well, if that's the case, I have a daddy king to me too. I'm super alpha. So I have to be, I want to be tossed around. I want to be choked, throw me up against a wall, split my butt. Yeah. Do it all. Do it all. Yes. Like if I feel like I can beat you up, I don't want to fuck you anymore. I just want to peg you. Beta dudes, beta dudes are not hot.

I can't, you gotta have some, some little fucking alpha swag deal. You can't just be, Oh yeah. And alpha isn't saying, Oh, I'm alpha. I'm alpha. No, it's, that's like saying I have a big dick. We all know that your dick is this big, right? It's being assertive. It's how you carry yourself. You know, like anybody can say that they're a fucking alpha, but you know, and, and especially with dudes, um,

it actions speak louder than words. Yes. And he definitely carries himself as an alpha from the moment I fucking met him. I love that. When's your birthday? February 2nd. Oh yeah. You're an Aquarius. His birthday is February 2nd too. Oh,

Oh my God. Two Aquarius's in a relationship. That's wild. I actually have been with two and they were long relationships and they give you a run for your money. Aquarius men are so different than Aquarius women. That's what a lot of people don't realize. Like they're, we're totally different, but they're super intellectual. And I think that's what kind of keeps you guys. Oh, the sapiosexual in me. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, how long have you guys been together? It's two years now. Yeah.

I love that. Where'd you guys meet? Oh my God. So we met on Tinder. Oh, nice. Swipe left or right. Which one was it? I haven't been on Tinder. So I had Tinder like premium so I could see who swiped on me and I was going through who swiped on me. She said I had Tinder premium. Yeah, because I like, my thing is I hated swiping and like not knowing. I just would rather see who already swiped on me and be like, okay, I want you. I want you. I want you. Yeah. And he was one of them and it was a Photoshopped photo of him at the beach. He Photoshopped the fucking beach. What? Behind him. What? What?

And I remember being like, he was so aggressive. Was it a joke or was it like he was really serious?

He was really trying to pass that he was at the beach. That is hilarious. At least he wasn't holding a fish. I hate guys that fucking have pictures on, not social media, but dating apps. And they're like holding, they're fishing. You get it. You smell like dirty pussy. Yeah. Like, ew. Like nobody wants that, bro. Like who told you that was hot? Okay. So he had a fake picture and then what happened? So he had a fake picture. And from the beginning, I loved his name, Sebastian. I had always wanted to be with someone named Sebastian. Is that his real name? Yes. Awesome. Do you call him Bash? Yeah.

Oh, no, no, no. I call him daddy. That's it. Yes. And when I get mad at him, I call him Sebastian. Does she when she gets mad at you? Does she cuss you out? He's over here blushing. Does she cuss you out in Spanish?

Yeah. He's like, he's like, yes, it's so hot. To be fair, he cusses in Romanian and I really like it. Oh my God. This relationship is amazing. Oh yeah. We're very, uh, we're very spicy. Yeah, for sure. He was super aggressive from the beginning and he was just like, oh, cause we're, uh, come to my house. And I was like, fuck no, I don't fucking know you. Like you could be a murderer. And he's like, fine, we'll meet up for a drink. So the day comes for us to meet up for a drink. I was going to bail on him. Cause I'm like, he photoshopped himself into the fucking beach.

Did you call him out on that? Like, bro, what the fuck is going on? I didn't. But you know what? The conversation we had from the beginning, he's like, oh, yeah, I do this for a living. I was like, I'm a porn star. Like, just from the beginning, he didn't care. I was like, fuck it. Did he know you? Did he recognize you? So apparently he did have one of my videos in his computer. Wow. OK. Because he kept going, where the fuck do I know you from? And I told him I did porn. He's like, oh, I think I know you.

We went on our first date and I was so fucking nervous. I was sweating. Oh. And I got off the car and I saw him and I was like, oh my God. Yep. That's the one. She said, daddy. Oh, well, our first date, we just hooked up because I'm like, well, I'm not, I'm never going to see this dude again. So we fucked. He spit in my mouth on the first date and that was it.

Dude, that's so hot. That's how I am. I want to fuck on the first date. I don't want to wait and find out what the fuck is wrong with you. Like, let's get it over on the first date. Get it up, get it in, get it on, and get it out. And then we'll figure it out. Because, like, what if they have, like, some weird-ass fucking kink that you're not into? What if they smell? I hate smelling motherfuckers, dude. Have you ever had somebody who has, like, a weird kink that you're not into? No.

One guy was really into vomit and I'm like, ew. Okay, wait a second. And like vomiting on you. Vomiting on him. Like, like, like past, like, you know, like those really aggressive blowjobs. Yes. I'm cool with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Make me go. Okay. So he wanted you to get. Oh yeah. Yeah. I had to make one of those videos one time. That's a little weird. And I don't want to be

Mommy. No, that's a little weird. I don't understand fucking guys who like wear diapers or like who want to be babied. And yeah, I don't even know the name. She like knows all the names of the kings. I was a little, to be fair, but I never wore diapers and it was just more of a coping mechanism for me. Oh, gotcha. And I got over it.

So you say coping mechanism. Is that like from trauma, childhood trauma? Can we talk about that? Oh yeah, for sure. Cause I feel like a lot of people don't talk enough about like mental health trauma and stuff like that in the sex industry. Like all of us have been fucked up in some way and that's kind of what sends us on the path. But I also, it's like I was telling, um, I don't know if you know who air force Amy is. She was here earlier today. Okay. So I used to watch cat house and she told me how to shave my vagina. Dude, she's a,

Oh, gee. You met her? Yes. I'm so jealous. Dude, see? See? I told you guys. It's fucking amazing. No, like, I love Amy. Ever since I watched her on Cat House, I've always been a fan of hers. I don't use that term very loosely because I'm not a fan of any female. But Amy is just this... She's just all woman. And she's, like, empowering, dude. Yeah, so I was telling her earlier that, you know, people...

get mad at us because of how we sell our sexuality now and they don't understand our story and it's like they sexualize us as babies literally like little girls get sexualized and then people get mad at us when those little girls grow up and actually learn how to empower themselves and monetize that shit so what happened to you whenever you were younger um so my dad was a pedophile like big time oh my gosh he didn't just and I started remembering that he touched me as an adult I guess my brain did that thing where it was like you

you don't remember this. Selective memory. And then, um, when I started doing psychedelics, I started remembering. And then, um, cause it unlocked all that trauma. He never had sex with me or anything. It was just like touching or like me, like touching him very nonchalantly. Right. I,

I have this memory of me sitting on his lap and we were watching Ace Ventura, like of all movies. Right. Favorite movie. Right. And I was touching something. I was sitting on his lap and I was grabbing something and I didn't know what it is as a little girl. I was grabbing his ball sack. Oh, wow. Why would he let me do that? Right. I'm your daughter. Yeah. What fucking shit? Yeah. And he would just look at me off. I remember telling my mom because my mom was very young. He married my mom. Listen to this. She was 15. He saw her grow up. He was 27. Yeah. My dad loves young women, too.

We're Cuban and Cuban men. I've noticed a lot of them, a lot of Latino men in general, not to generalize, but to my perspective, they mostly like younger women. Yeah. And the younger you are, the better. It's like they, they prize. They groom you. Yeah. Oh, I was groomed not just by my dad. I was groomed. I did martial arts for 15 years of my life. I was groomed by the men in my martial arts school.

There was one that would tell me, oh, when you're older, you're going to get a tattoo here and you're going to get a tattoo here. And I was like, I look back on it and I'm like, he was trying to like put that in your mind. He was grooming the fuck out of me.

out of me and you know what these old I don't want to call them old men but these men are literally teaching girl like classes and and they're just like in broad daylight doing this and yeah parents are okay you know parents don't recognize I guess laugh at it my dad thought it was funny and I remember I turned 15 and one of them goes oh you're legal tender now and I'm like I can't

even drive. Yeah, dude. What the fuck is wrong with people? So do you feel that the trauma that happened to you as a child sent you on this path or did you feel like it was your way of empowering yourself? Um, honestly, I was kind of forced into doing porn. However, I ended up enjoying it because it ended up being something really empowering for me. Yes. I didn't truly feel empowered by my sexuality. I was very ashamed of my sexuality and the things that I liked and the things that I had been to until I met my husband. Oh, I'm

love that that is so sweet he truly empowered me he empowers me every single day he that's a good man he makes me feel like I'm the most beautiful person in the world regardless of how much of a slut I am I mean you are but being a slut doesn't mean that you're not beautiful that's a good thing though it's like people try to say now people are taking back the word bimbo and I don't

I love it. I love Bimbo. I live for it. I use the word Bimbo. Me too. Yeah. I love it. I think I made my... One of my Halloween costumes was Bimbo the Clown. Oh, my God. That's so cute. Stop. Yeah. No. That's adorable. I hate clowns, but that one I would like. No, no. For sure. I did that on Instagram. But yeah, I think that when you find somebody who stands behind you... Like my husband, when I met my husband, Jay...

total polar opposites, fucking never anything that I've ever dated before. He's never been with a woman that looks like me. And literally fucking, we just work because he knew everything that I did. He knew the industry that I was in. I still worked whenever I met with Jay. It's so funny because people will call me like a gold digger and stuff like that. When I met Jay, he didn't have any money. He was sleeping on my couch and he totally was just like, you know what, baby, you're going to do this now. He's like, but you're not going to do it forever.

you know? And like when you find that man that just, and I'm not saying that you need a man to fucking ever get through life or anything like that, but it's always nice to have that partner that really just helps you get to the next level. It's just nice to have a support system. Absolutely. It's like a BFF with a dick. Oh,

Oh my God. He's totally my best friend. Yeah. It's disgusting. Like I say it all the time. I'm like, yeah, my husband's my best friend. And people look at me like I'm stupid. And I'm like, yeah, my mom's my best friend too. Yeah, exactly. No, but there's nothing wrong with your man being your best friend. So has the pandemic affected you shooting porn? Do you still shoot porn? Um, so when I met him, I actually stopped filming with men just because I'm kind of like a one man kind of girl. I get it. It's an Aquarius thing. Um, I love women though. I love women. We share women.

It's fun. It's different. I've never shared with my partner before. Yeah. So it was very different. The only thing that's affected is girls wanting to film and trade content. And I always tell them, just get a COVID test the day before. Yeah. I'll get COVID tested as well. Everybody's safe. Yeah. But a lot of girls are being really weird about it. So...

Was the transition from porn to only fans hard? No. Actually, it was a lot easier because I had a fan base. Yeah. I truly respect the girls who literally start from no fan base and then build this entire empire. I think that's so fucking amazing. Yeah, no, it's crazy. And I was just, like I said, I was talking to Amy earlier, and there's, like, girls on there that are not even, like, your typical, like, porn star or, like, fantasy type girls that are fucking crushing it, dude. They're like, you know, the girl next door, a girl that you could see.

at the grocery store, at the gym. And I think guys like that because it's attainable. Right. Exactly. It's not like this, like,

unattainable girl that you can never see yourself with. These are girls that you could see yourself with and that's why they make the money. Yeah, exactly. I totally agree. No, I think it's great. So do you collab a lot with different girls or do you just, do you have like a circle that you work within or how does that work? I collab with girls that I vibe with. Yeah. If I think that you're nice, like I'll approach girls on Instagram because I'm a total fucking perv. Yeah. And I'll be like, hey, you're hot.

Yeah. I think that's how we started talking. I think I told you you were hot or you told me. Yeah. I told you you were hot. Oh, yeah, yeah. And then you told me I was hot and I was like, yeah, yeah. But you were supposed to come on the podcast last time I was here, but you actually got your boobs done. Can I see these things? Let me see them. Those are fucking pretty. Put those in the camera. Those look so good, dude. Oh, my God. Can I squeeze one? Yeah. They look so good. Are these above the muscle or under? Under. Oh, my God. There's still a little.

Who did your boobs? They're so nice. Dr. Richards did my boobs. I love it. I had my implants taken out, so now I'm like obsessed with implants because I'm just like, oh my God, these feel so good. Oh, they feel so nice. And like they just got softer and they're getting softer and they're jiggling more now. Oh, yeah. And I'm just like, yeah.

Yeah. That's an A cup, okay? Dude, you're so hot, though. Thank you. I mean, you could have totally... When you told me you were getting boobs, I was like, you don't even need them. Like, you're just... You got that cute little body. It's something I have wanted. And my mom said it. My mom was laughing when I told her I was going to get a boob job. I have been asking for boobs since I was five. Oh, shit. Because my mom has huge tits. Aww. And I was always like, what?

coming yeah and she'd be like soon baby after you get your period and i remember i wanted to get my period it's fucking bad it's like you get tits and they never fucking grew i just ended up with pain and persistent pain in my puss oh no but no tits oh she's like fucking i'm buying tits right now let's talk about tiktok dude you are literally like i don't know i can't keep up with you on tiktok how do you film so much fucking content bro um him he

he i'll wake up in the morning and he's like baby let's go film tiki-takis and i'm like okay let's go film tiki-takis between him and the one who really inspired me to start doing them was charlie oh no he's dude he's a machine he's a machine he is like i don't understand how he fucking to when i've filmed skits with him to watch him just come up with shit on the fly i'm look at him and i'm like how the

fuck do you do that dude same like because i can't i have to plan shit out like you know like i'm not that i'm funny but i'm not that funny you know like he's fucking wet your pants hilarious and i'm just like dude did that just come out of your mouth like you just thought of that we've been in tears he and i have been in tears in his house just like stomach cramps laughing yeah because we don't know what else we did one that was a tinkerbell one yeah and he put all this powder on his nose and i'm like hey kids you want some pixie dust and he turned the camera he's like i'm flying

And it's like, he just comes up with this shit out of nowhere, dude. So you, so he pushes you to film tech talks. That's how Mimi is with me. Mimi was like, come on, let's film. And I'm like, no, I don't want to do everything. Like I'll wake up. Like, especially like when I'm feeling, cause this job, you really have to feel hot.

all the time absolutely there's days that i wake up and i'm like i'm a gremlin and he looks at me he's like baby you're hot yeah go yeah please film yeah do it like shut up bitch go literally but that's good because he sees potential in you and that's very rare that a man can actually see how much potential you have and not compete with you absolutely which is the biggest thing amen i had an abusive ex who literally would try to compete with me in everything i did as

Everything. Look, me and my psycho ex, we both fought. We were both MMA fighters. I did MMA. I have seven world championships. Yay. So you a bad bitch. Yeah. He was a good fighter too, though. It wasn't a competition. I remember we'd go boxing and his trainer would be like, oh God, I'm about to do his accent and I'm terrible at doing British accent. Hey, she fights better than you, yeah? And I'm like, I would be like, please don't tell him that I'm going to get my ass beat when I get home. Can you not? Every time I would get my ass beat. I would get home, boom, beating.

I could take the beating. The physical abuse, honestly, for me, wasn't really what did it. I always say that. It was the emotional abuse. Yeah. I'd rather get punched in my face than lied to. Thank you. Yeah. Like, you can beat the fuck out of me. Just don't let me find out that you're, like, doing shit behind my back or anything like that. And don't make me think that I'm crazy. I'm crazy. Don't gaslight me. I constantly, I felt like I was going insane. I thought I was crazy. Yeah. That never happened. I didn't say that. Yes, you did. Yeah. No, it's, trust me, I've been in situations like that. And it's, that's probably the worst is emotional abuse.

Emotional. I would take a beating any fucking day. Honestly, I kind of like it. Yeah.

She's like, yeah, and I'll call you daddy while you do it. All right, so we're going to play a game. I've never played this before. I got to put on my bifocals because I am so blind. Teach you to play with a few things. Yes, baby, teach me. I'm open to learn. So this is a game that we've never played before. Normally I do them on apps and stuff like that, but we're going to try this one. This is actually a drinking game, but I'm sober. I don't drink. I as well. Are you really? Yeah, I've been sober. It's only been a little bit of time, but I've been sober for two months.

Oh, very cool. Let me tell you something, dude. I drank since I was 16 years old. So about three years I've been sober and it is the best thing I've ever done in my life. I've never been so more in tune with myself. Yeah. And like just all my, I've leveled up fucking 10 times sober.

than the girl who was drinking every night. Like it's crazy. Your perspective, your ambition, your drive, all of that changes and you, you, you're just next level. Yeah. Um, my thing was I'm Cuban. I really liked cocaine. Like I really liked cocaine. It was my favorite thing in the whole world. I would snort an eight ball to myself. Yeah, me too. Yeah, no, no problem. And I was always angry. I was always angry and anxious. And,

He was like, he looked at me, he goes, you're fucking done. Man, I love you, bro. You're fucking awesome, dude. He's really cool. You guys are really special. You guys have something really cool. I love him. He's my baby. I love that. I'm gonna punch him in the face later. Yes, do it. Film it and send it to me. I will. So he looked at you and said, hey, man. Yeah, he caught me. Because I was, at that point, I was just doing it behind his back. And he caught me. He's like, hey, what the fuck is this? And I was like...

I can't lie to you. That's drugs. He's like, this is why you're angry. This is why you're depressed. This is why you're going through all the shit you're going through. You're done. And if you're not done, then I'm leaving. And I'm like, I am done. Yeah. The first, I'd have to say the first two years of being sober was the hardest for me because it, my anxiety and my, my chemicals and my body were trying to level out, but I've discovered vitamins and I'll, I'll give you my vitamin regimen. I swear to God, it's, it will calm me down and you'll feel so much better. And it,

I've been through everything that you could possibly think of. I mean, there, there was a time where like, I thought walls were melting and people's faces were melting. Cause my anxiety was so bad. I'm not saying that's going to happen to you, but I, just because of all the trauma that I have gone through, all the abuse, all that stuff.

I ran from it for so long. Oh, yeah. And then when you're sober, you're like, whoa, I have to face all this. I have lived a life of full life. And they're like, holy shit, I feel things. And you're like, my life. I don't remember. Yeah, exactly. So but you know what? This is the best journey to ever be on. And dude, self-healing and self-care is like, dude, it's it's impossible.

It's imperative to self-growth. So you're on the right path and I'm really proud of you for doing that. Well, you're absolutely glowing. Oh, well, thank you so much. I don't want to be you when I grow up. Stop it. You can do me anytime. You can suffocate me. It's fine. All right, here we go. So I'm going to ask you some questions and you're going to tell me which one that you would rather do. Is this called like would you rather? Yeah.

Are we doing Would You Rather? Oh, damn. Okay. Okay. All right. I'm ready. Well, it's kind of like a form. You get to choose, though. Okay. All right. From which bodily function do you get more enjoyment? Okay. Farting or burping? Burping. Yeah. Women don't fart. I don't fart. I sparkle. Yeah. There you go. Yes. Totally. Totally.

Who would you rather make out with? A person with severe acne or a person with chicken pox? A person with severe acne. Chicken pox, I already got them. I won't get them again. Yeah. But if you haven't, it's contagious. Exactly. Would you rather pleasure yourself in an adult theater for a... Oh, wait. Hold on. I read that wrong. Would you pleasure yourself in an adult theater for a bottle of your favorite liquor? No. Fuck no. She said no. No.

While at the zoo, you get hit by flying shit from the gorilla exhibit. How?

How would you more than likely react? A dump a load in your own hand and throw it back or B go jump in the dolphin pool to wash it off. Fuck it. I'm throwing shit back at the freaking gorilla. I wish I could shit on cue like that, dude. I'm always constipated. There's no way. I wish I could shit like that. Oh baby fiber. Girl, listen, I'm like a health freak. I drink juices, everything. It's just from years of taking diet pills. My whole digestive shit is just thrown off. Yeah. Yeah.

You get done taking a shit and find out there's no more toilet paper. What do you prefer to use instead? Your shirt or toilet or a toilet brush? I thought it said toothbrush. I mean, if I'm home, if I'm home, I'll just wash my ass. But if I really have to choose, fuck, a toilet brush? I don't use my shirt. That would be so spiky. That would hurt your little butthole. She's a tough butthole. She can take it. Oh, fuck.

oh my god oh this is great okay you're a porn star which would you prefer to have as your porn industry name willie wad or slick grip slick grip that's like a rapper i'm right jelly well got some competition there you go yeah baby slick grip i love it you need your next movie needs to be slick broke the slick grip that would be hilarious

Give him the reach around.

I don't know. I think I might want to scrub, scrub skin marks. I don't know. I don't, I don't know if it depends on what his ass looks like. Honestly, with a name like big Bubba, I just imagine like those like really hairy sweat. Oh God. Nasty. So nasty. All right.

What fluid would you prefer to receive during an enema? Pink lemonade or vodka? Ooh, pink lemonade. I think I would do vodka if I wasn't sober. Just get fucked up. More people doing like... It burns your asshole. Have you done it? I've done it. I've put so many things up my ass that you should not put. I want to hear. Ecstasy, cocaine...

I've done cocaine. I love. I love booty bumps. They, they, I think if you're going to do blow, that's how you need to do blow. Fuck. Yeah. Cause that way your nose doesn't run the next day. And it's a different high. Oh, it hits you like this. I used to do it at swinger parties. It was fun. Yeah. It's a different high and it's like a more mellow high. Whereas when you snort it, you're kind of like amped. And then like when you shoot it up your ass, it's more of like a calm, but you feel good. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

What would you rather have for breakfast? A maggot filled pied pastry or earwax cereal? Oh God, that's one thing I'm sensitive with is food. Me too. Oh my God, I'm gonna have to go with the maggots. Oh no, you're a savage. I think I would rather eat earwax. Maggots move and shit. Oh fuck. There's no way. I could not swallow a maggot just fucking wiggling around in my mouth. I'm depressed.

All right. And last question I'm going to ask you, if your best friend got bitten on his penis by a snake, what would you rather do? Suck the venom out or let him die? I'm sucking the venom out, baby. I promise. Yay. She's got your back, baby. Kenra, thank you so much for being here. Why don't you tell people where they can find you? Okay. Okay.

Hi. You guys can find me on Instagram. I have two profiles. Very confusing. What happened? Yeah. Wait, hold on real quick. One of them got deleted, right? And he got disabled. And then you got it back. That happened to mine too. I had to pay some fucking Turkish guy $1,500 to get it back. Yeah, I know. I might need your plug if mine ever gets fucking taken again. But yeah, he's in Canada.

He's great. Oh, yay. All right. Back in two weeks. But yes, Kimberwood's official underscore. All of my other Instagrams are in the bio. Link in bio. Link in bio, baby. You can also find me on OnlyFans. I have two OnlyFans profiles. I have Kimberwood's free and then I have K with XXX, whichever one you like. Pick your poison. I also have a Twitter. K with XXX.

What the fuck did I just say? K was XXX? And which one's the other one? My brain just farted. No, it fluffed. I say fluffed. That's so funny. Oh, yeah. And I have a ticky talk. It's Kdubs. Oh, it's Kdubs. Yep. Okay, gotcha. Thank you so much for coming. You're such a sweetheart. And I definitely want to have you back on, keep having you come back on and stuff like that. Just track your progress and see where you're at. Check your temperature and stuff like that. You can always check my temperature, mama. Yes, baby. Yeah.

Thank you guys for tuning into another episode of dumb blonde. I will see you guys next week. Bye.