Ask, Tell, Confess: No Dookie Sticks
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Hello, senoritas. Welcome to Ask, Tell, Confess. I tried to put a little vibrato on it. Yeah.

Do you know how many people ask me to do that in meet and greets? It's so funny. Oh my God. I love it. I'm like, I've had a podcast for six years. Nobody asked me to do anything from that. Give me the whistle. Yeah. Do the roar. Mimi's back in the house, baby. Hey, she's been gone forever. 20 days.

Fucking shit. I told her, I was like, it's been 15. She goes, I round up. I was like, motherfucker, you can't get past me. We're happy to have you back though. Thanks. We always try to pretend we can get along without you. And then when you're back, we're like, we missed her.

I hope you guys did. Aw. Did you miss me, Jaime? A thousand percent. Aw. You guys do love me. Yeah. Yeah. Well, today we have our plates full with the Ask, Talk, and Fest. You guys really delivered. If you're on my Patreon...

You always get a chance to be a part of these weekly segments and you guys are allowed to ask, tell or confess and you guys did not disappoint this week. It was intense. No, there was a lot. Yeah. I was actually very shook. Oh, by the way, if you're watching this and wondering why I look like I'm half dead, it's because we filmed for what, like six hours yesterday down on Broadway. So tired. Haley, of course, always looks beautiful. She has makeup on, but...

Fucking I walked in Mimi's laying down on the couch. I'm PMSing. This is the longest PMS I've had. It's been going on for two weeks. I know, right? It's crazy. It's just, I've been using it as an excuse to eat whatever the fuck I want. We had cane sauce night at nine o'clock at night. I would never do that if I didn't blame it on my period. But anyways, long story short, I have no makeup on today. So to all the haters who are always like, why does she always have to have freaking makeup on? Well, if you followed my TikTok, you would see me look like this all the time, but

Yeah. Here you go. Here I am. All in the flesh. Flesh. All a mesh. All right. Who's going to read the first question? Oh, I'm coming in hot. Ready? Let's go. Oh, no, this was, this was a private message. Okay. No, but I think, didn't we send it to Haley too? Oh, I only sent it to you. Oh,

Oh my God. I can't wait to see it. All right. And I cannot say this person's name because this has to stay private. I am sure it's so gross. This is good. I'm hoping this is the correct way for a tell, but I must remain anonymous because I don't want to lose my job. I am a nurse who works in the operating room. We had a patient come in for a foreign object stuck in their rectum.

Just, no, lay it on me. And they had to have it surgically removed. The entire staff was aware that the foreign object was a vibrator. But once it was removed, I said, that's a honey bunny vibrator. So, of course, I had to tell the entire OR staff all about you girls. The reason for this tell is because the patient asked for it back because they want to bring it to a meet and greet to get signed.

Girls, please do not sign any vibrators. You literally have no idea where they've been. Don't do that.

Don't ever do that. Don't do that. I don't want your little dookie stick, okay? Do not bring dookie sticks to freaking... Was it in her butt or her vagina? It was in her butt. It was in her butt. It was in her butt. How did she... Okay, I need to know how she got it up there. You don't put anything in there that doesn't have a stopper. What did you say? Send us a video. Yeah. Oh, man. Do you remember the time we watched that girl shove a traffic cone inside of her? Yes. That was crazy. Oh, and the tentacle? Yeah. Remember that one time you made me watch that guy...

We showed Jay too. Didn't you show Jay? Wait, what did the guy do? You made me watch that dude back into the one that was suctioned up to the wall. Oh, is that the guy that sent it to me on my OnlyFans? And because I had to see it, I had to share it with you. What? Guys used to send me the weirdest shit on my OnlyFans. Sorry, Bessio. I know Bessio is going to fucking probably make us cut this, but...

I did have an OnlyFans in my former life, okay? And in the DMs, I don't know why guys thought it would turn me on, but they would send me videos of them like backing into things. Oh, yeah. Like that's not my kink. If that's your kink, I love that for you. Go off shorty. But that's not my kink. And I was just, I mean, he was meh, meh, meh.

She said, if I had to see this, you have to see this. Yeah. But I didn't see this. Yeah, definitely. Sonobello loves dumb blonde listeners so much that they just made you friends and family. You're now included in their friends and family fall savings event. This is a rare event. You'll enjoy the same special savings that Sonobello doctors, nurses, and staff, friends, and family receive, but appointments are limited. So you need to schedule now.

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ILS.com promo code bunny 15. Get your best radiant skin this season with Oak essentials. Yeah. So ladies, please. I love you guys. I love all of your orifices, all of your holes. I'll sign whatever you want me to sign, but I'm not signing something that's been in you. Okay. I'll do the little carpaccio around your butthole, whatever you want me to do, but not signing. Okay.

not signing something that you had to have dis dislodged out of you surgically surgically yeah i mean well at least we know they work i hope she had a good time i mean yeah did you like it worth the money yeah um but our vibrators work ladies and sex education don't put anything up there that doesn't have a stopper weren't they big yeah yeah okay

She was getting going off. Yeah. I mean, did it just suck it in? Well, what happens is one time Tasha was, was using anal beads and she'll tell you the story. She tells the story all the time, but she orgasmed while the anal beads were in her and it sucked him right up.

Yeah, they had to pull them out one by one. Bloop, bloop, bloop. Like, yeah, it was bad. So I guess there's some sort of like when your body, the muscles tense up, it just sucks whatever's in your hole in there. Like a vacuum. Yeah, yeah. I've never had it happen to me, but I've heard stories. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, someone else's turn. I'm going to, I'm going to go. Have you guys ever orgasmed in your sleep? No. Yeah. It's like a wet dream. It is. See, I thought only men had wet dreams. I orgasmed in my sleep last night. Oh, is that why you woke up in such a good mood? Oh,

Oh, it was good. Let me tell you. It was great. But like, I don't even have to be having a sexual dream. And sometimes it'll just, I'll just, or I used to have them all the time. Like it was to the point where I was orgasming in my sleep all the time. That's a ghost. Like what? No, I would know.

I would know if it was a ghost. Cause I wake up when it happens. I know when it's about to happen. I don't want to experience it. Wake up. I wonder if it's like a hormonal thing. I don't know. You have testosterone of a fucking UFC fighter. Yeah. I don't know. Ladies, let me know if you orgasm in your sleep. I want to know how common it is. And any of my nurse and doctor people that are listening to this, let me know what that is. Is it a condition? Because I have it.

I would like to know what it is. And I mean, it's glorious. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it. How you've orgasmed in your sleep, right? Once, twice, how many? Maybe once or twice. Yeah. It's just like a wet dream, but are you having sexual dreams? No. Yeah. No. Yeah. All right. Cool. We'll see. You know what's weird? It's always around. It's always around my period. So then it has to be hormonal because my period is literally about to start any hour now.

So it has to be. Yeah. It has to be a hormonal thing. Haley, have you orgasm? Do you orgasm? Yes. Okay. I'm just making sure. Cause there's some women who go through life that don't orgasm and don't know. Don't know. Don't do it in my sleep. Yeah. I'm awake. I'd like to be awake for that. I mean, you're sleeping, but you wake up for the orgasm. It wakes you up. That pisses me off. Jaime, have you ever came in your sleep?

You know, they always talk about. Honey Mae's face. I looked over and he was like, he was waiting. Here's the thing. I've always been told, oh, have you ever had a wet dream? And I never knew what that was because it's never happened to me. Yeah. Never. So I've never had a wet dream that I can recall. And I will tell you if I have. Yeah. I cannot recall ever a time in my life when I have.

I had a wet dream. I wonder if it's just high testosterone. Could be. I don't know. All right. Nurses, doctors, diagnose us. We would like to know what it is. Yeah. When you buy from my merch online, just know you're buying from Shopify. They've been there for me ever since I started my merch company, and that was a while ago. So we are like family at this point. All the tools Shopify has to offer helps me amplify my business to a whole new level. Without them, I'm not a

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Go ahead, Hayley Cakes. I guess this is a...

What's the difference between tell and confess? Tell is like you're telling a story. Confess is like you're confessing a sin or you're confessing something. Okay. Maybe this is telling a story. Someone confessed a murder. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. No, it was what? Two murders confessed to me. So I used to do, if you are a longtime follower of me, I used to do ask, tell, confess every Sunday on my Instagram for fucking six years, seven years. Like I've always done it probably longer. And yeah,

during that stint on my Instagram, I don't know if these people didn't realize that I could see their profiles. Don't realize they think it's anonymous. I found that out. I swear somebody confessed two different people confessed murdering somebody on my thing. And I only used one of them one time. And I was like, Hey man, love you guys do not want to be a part of this. Like, dude, I love that you trust me with this information. That's crazy. 911.

Yeah. Well, no, everybody else was like, you need to report that person. And I'm just like, no, that's not a fucking snitch. Yeah. Well, it's not even about being a snitch. It's just like one. You don't know if it's true. I mean, they could be doing it for attention. Right. It's like two. It's like, obviously they needed to get it off their chest, you know, and I'm probably going to catch backlash for that. But it's like three. It's not my fucking place. Out of sight, out of mind. I don't want to know. Like, I don't I don't want to know if it's real or if it's not. You know what I'm saying? Mm hmm.

Okay, well, I'm going to say this is a tell. Okay. Someone said, I work at a bar. My second week there, a man offered me $2,000 to eat Skittles out of his butt. Okay. And my best friend's first few months working there, she watched an old woman on a scooter get fingered. She's now known as Scooter Cooter. And she's...

And she's watched a man in a trench coat shit himself and shake his turd out of his pant leg then leave. Where does this person fucking work? I gotta go. I gotta go. These are my people. Please tell us where this is at because we're on tour. I can guarantee it's in Florida. Probably. I need to see this guy shake a turd out of his leg. That's my scooter cooter. I want to be scooting it.

Can you imagine that being your nickname for life? Just Scooter Cooter. Oh, what a name. I'm a little jealous. We nickname people some weird shit though sometimes. I want to get fingered on a scooter. Huh? I want to get fingered on a scooter. I mean, it doesn't sound like a bad time. I got a fucking scooter, man. Yeah.

There's been one on tour bus this whole time. Thanks for the pod. Yeah. You guys talk all that shit and never fucking know. I know. Yesterday she puts my hand on her thigh and I immediately moved it a centimeter towards her. And her fucking legs clamped so tight like a freaking iron curtains. Just fucking shut. Just terrifying. I'm not actually serious. Oh,

Have you started planning your infamous Christmas song yet? Oh, you took my question. Oh boy. Have we? Oh boy. We get into the studio November 1st cause this Ask Talcum Fest comes out tomorrow. So we get into the studio November 1st and we're hopefully going to write a banger and we're actually writing with two artists.

freaking huge songwriters like this is almost it's never been a dream of mine but now that it's happening it's a dream because it's like jesse joe dylan an amazing freaking songwriter dude and she's an aquarius nominated love her grammy nominated like she's a freaking queen dude and then alicia vanderheim i always say her name the wrong way vanderheem something like that

she's a boss dude she's written like i so many hits that are on the radio and stuff like that and i'm not trying to get radio play i mean this is all just a joke but i mean country if you would like to pick up one of my raunchy christmas songs let's do it um but i think this year we might do a country christmas song tentatively we're not sure because we've done jazz we've done rap we've done freaking everything we've done

Like we've done everything. So I think this year we're going to make it a country Christmas song and yeah, it's going to be fun. We always have fun with it. We always play with it and we got to figure out a day to shoot the fricking music video. Yeah. So I'm excited. So hold on to your little pantalones. We are going to have a fricking country Christmas this year. I cannot wait. And it'll probably drop like somewhere around like middle of November, last week in November. Yeah.

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He will. He will let her. He will let me massage the taint strip while I'm doing the BJ, she said. I purposely didn't pick this one because I'm like, everybody thinks I'm obsessed with buttholes, so I'm not doing it. Me. Yeah. And he comes so hard. He will let me reach around and play with his balls while I ride him, but as soon as I get to the hole, that's a nope. Jaime, you like a little butt play? A little gooch action's not bad. Like, hold the microphone. Hold the microphone.

Just a little gooch action's not bad. Not bad. Do you like it licked or do you like a finger just ramming your little hole? A little bit of both. Maybe a little switcheroo works, but not in the booty hole. How about a thumb? Would you take a thumb? A pinky? You know what? If you did, I wouldn't be able to notice, I think. Oh.

Oh, so you like to feel it. Yeah, I mean, at first I did it, but it grew on me. It grew on me. Have you ever had a vibrator up there? No, no, no, no, no. So you haven't graduated. You've only had fingers. Yeah, yeah. It's a jog for me, not a full-on sprint. I'll wait. It's a Sunday for me, so, you know, just cruise. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Fucking Jaime. All right. Well, what's, what was her question? How she could get her man to let us, she wants, she wants to stick. Maybe give Jaime a call. Yeah. We'll let you answer it as a dude. How could she, you know, how did you graduate to that point? Yeah. Um, it's gotta be at a good time. So either, you know, possibly right after the shower. So I'm not feeling gross and I'm kind of a little open to it, you know, and make me feel like,

Like it's your idea and you want to do this and it'll make you happy. Because then it's not gay. Then it's not gay. I love that. I love that. Yep. That's good advice. That's straight from a dude right there. I love this. I love it. Maybe take a shot or something. Yeah, take a shot or something. I mean, don't. Relax. Yeah, you just, you want to feel comfortable as a dude. And yeah, I think that's the way to do it.

Interesting. Okay. I enjoyed this. I'm going to take this conversation south. I mean, north. We already went south. That was south. I'm going north. How excited are you for good night in Nashville? The bar? Yeah. I mean, I'm super excited. We got to see it last night. Yeah, we got to see it. I'm going to be in that bitch every weekend. Good. Just to be on the third floor. It's going to be like a meet and greet. Because I have my own floor, so be on the third floor.

I'll be promoting Bunny's floor every weekend. Do it, baby. Good night, Nashville. Bunny XO level three, I believe, is what floor my floor will be on. And my own designated seat. January, February, it should be opening up. We were hoping New Year's Eve, but Vessio said that she doesn't see that happening. So we'll let you guys know when it opens up. But it's going to be a big to do, man. It's going to be behind the bar every freaking weekend. I might be making drinks. You never know.

What are your favorite things to make or advice for someone that is trying to eat clean? I know you do healthy smoothies too. And I think Mimi, you guys, everybody's been trying to eat healthy on this journey. So I think the easiest thing to do if you're just starting out is one, you have to know if you're going to, if you're going to be eating healthy, it's going to be boring. You have to eat a lot of the same foods, a lot of the same things. Like it's just not,

I mean, you can, once you start learning what you like and stuff like that, then you can start jazzing it up. But starting out, I would just do chicken and rice, ground chicken and rice, do chicken and potatoes. Like just keep it simple with salads and veggies and then go from there. If you're not a chicken person, do some salmon, do some fishes, steak, things like that. You can get a lot of protein in with seafood.

I'm not a huge chicken person. Yeah. I feel like it messes with my hormones. So it makes me feel really yucky after I eat it. So I tend to go towards the seafood side of things. I do love red meat, but I know it's got a lot of fat in it. So like salmons and a lot of shrimp. I love shrimp. Mm hmm.

Filet mignons don't have a lot of fat. There are certain cuts of red meat that don't. For sure. Yeah, yeah. But like ribeyes and stuff like that, of course, have a lot of fat. Prime rib is my favorite and has so much fat in it. I don't like fatty red meats. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It makes me, I don't know. I like short rib because it's like the string cheese of meat. That sounded fucking gross. Gross.

Nothing about that sounded good. What? I don't like thick pieces of meat in my mouth because when I like... Okay, okay. I've seen videos. I know that's a lie. When I keep doing the same thing over and over, I start to gag. Okay. Thank you guys for tuning in to another Ask Chael Confess. See y'all next week. Bye.