Ask, Tell, Confess: Don’t Give Away Your Birth Chart
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Hey guys, I need to ask you a question. I want to know why in the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the Bunny XO show. We have Meet the D-Fords. We have propaganda. We have more shows that we're adding. And not to mention, we have the visuals of the podcast. Head over to www.patreon.com backslash dumb blonde podcast and sign up.

Hello friends, welcome to another Ask, Tell, Confess. Two seconds. No.

What's my longest record? I don't even remember. Oh, that one you went on and it didn't stop. Oh, yeah. That one you just didn't stop. I must have taken a really good breath. You had to. Yeah. Yeah. Man, we are on our way to film.

Right now we are literally all dolled up and nowhere to go. All right. So this is how much, how dedicated we are to you guys that literally we swing by the studio on our way to work. Yep. To work. So we love you guys. Not over here trying to make you guys feel bad or anything, but you should feel bad. No, I'm just kidding. Totally kidding. What's up guys. We're fucking off tour. We can finally announce it, right? Yep. We are off tour. Um,

We're done. That's a wrap. Jay has about two more weeks. But other than that, I am so thankful to be home. I literally went through my house like a wild banshee, like the Tasmanian double, cleaning everything up. I got that laundry room in shape. I ordered new dog water bowls. I ordered chandeliers. I'm fucking... It's getting weird. Is the waterfall going away? Oh, it's going away. I hate that thing. I hate that fucking thing. The aquarium, you mean? The aquarium water bowl? I hate it. Dude, the thing drizzles water like a pond in our fucking laundry room all the time. It's the loudest...

No, it's terrible. Water bowl. Never buy one of those waterfall dog bowls. It just I do it so that the water doesn't get stagnant. So I got another a different kind of waterfall one, but it's like an updated one. And it's really cool. I'll show it to you guys. Talking about tour, someone wants to know because there was an announcement about the Canada tour. Are we going? I believe so. Tentatively right now, I believe so.

Not 100% sure because I'm not excited about the thought of being in Canada in the middle of the winter. It's terrifying. It's brutal. Yes. I've been out there. I had a sugar daddy in Canada and I used to go out there to see him during the winter time. I couldn't run back. You're a little snow bunny. I was a little snow bunny. Getting them dollar bills, y'all. You were.

But yeah, it was pretty rough out there. So I don't know. We're still putting it together. We just got off tour. The thought of getting on another tour makes me want to gouge my eyes out. I know. I got a phone call asking about 2025's plans. I said...

Let me chill out. Figure out who he said. I need to know the exact dates. You guys are coming to tour. I said, Ron, you're going to need to chill the fuck out. Yeah, Ron, I'm going to need you to give us till after Thanksgiving. No, that my book, you know, a lot of you guys keep asking about my book. My book is coming out. We have now finally decided on a name. Can we announce it? No.

Son of a bitch. Why can't we announce it? Well, you can say it, but we'll ask Jen to bleep it if she says no. Okay, if I'm not allowed to announce it, I'm sorry, guys. But it's called Yeah, Baby. And it's just literally me taking all the... You getting to see Alyssa instead of Bunny and hearing my life story. It's the most raw version of you. Yeah, it's the most raw version. A lot of you guys do know a little bit about the story, but I think there's a ton of details that you guys don't know that you're going to read in this book and you're going to be like,

That's why she's the way she is. I've known you now going on seven years, I believe. I didn't know half that stuff. Yeah. I read the first bit. And there's so much more. I know. The first like 10,000 words, I was like...

What? Yeah. I don't know if everybody around me is just gaslighting me or pump faking me, but everybody that reads the beginning of the book is like, I can't put this down. Like I want to read more. And like, of course, you know, hearing that you want to be like, oh my gosh. But then at the same time, it's like, I look at it and it doesn't, to me, it's not much because I lived it, you know? So it's like, to me, I'm just like,

people had it way worse than I did you know and I just feel like my I don't know I hope my story resonates with you guys and we've been really pouring my heart and soul into this book for you guys so we're already talking about doing a second book um but yeah it's gonna be awesome and it's gonna drop in next fall so fall of 2025 so be ready for that guys and what are we doing this weekend

We have a whole fucking list. We're doing a shoot. Cover. I can video that too, right? And we can post it. I believe we can have Jaime there and do like a whole behind the scenes of this and make a whole moment out of it because it's going to be so cool. And

Such a creative moment for all of us. Yeah, I'm excited. I'm trying my first wig this weekend, guys, for the book cover photo shoot, and I can't wait. I see all these girls that look so beautiful in wigs, and they get to change their hair color and all that stuff. I put on wigs, and I look like the dad from Coneheads. Like, my forehead always looks... Because they're from Amazon. Bro, it's... Yeah, we get the worst wigs. I look like a Klingon. No.

any time i try to fucking wear a wig so we're gonna give it one more fucking woohoo we're gonna do a real wig this time yeah someone who's gonna come in and actually install yeah yeah just plop it on your head yeah it's gonna be a moment i can't wait and it's gonna be so pretty yeah i'm gonna wear wigs until the rest of my hair is done healing because it's i mean it's grown a lot in six months but we got another six months to go before i have bangs

Fuck my life. This question's for Haley. How was it kissing Bunny? This person said he can't stop trying to figure out what that face was. I heard a moment in which she sucked your bottom lip in the video. I did.

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First of all, let me just, I know you guys have heard us talk about Haley's fucking gait. Am I allowed to say that? Cause she literally, it's like a, yeah, it's a whole, it's a whole lore. There's a whole lore to her gait. And one minute she will be, she'll walk by me on the bus. I don't have a bra. She will full on grab a titty. Oh, no problem. She'll fucking try to swipe my hoot. If I walk past her and she's naked, she'll back up into it. And then other times up into me before we got here.

we got here yeah and then other times she tries to act like i think there's two sides to her and that's the gemini in her and she tries to act like she doesn't like it and it's like bitch please i asked her today because when i was rubbing her titty when she was doing my makeup i was like did you miss me she's like actually yeah she's like it's weird to go do regular people and they're not groping me i gotta make small talk it's okay when i do it yeah i gotta initiate it but if someone gets too close to me i can't you

Oh, yeah. We're holding hands, by the way. I know. I'm like, what are you talking about? As you guys are holding hands... As you guys are holding hands on the couch, she's over there talking shit. Yeah, I'm not gay at all. Okay, so...

So do you guys see how she plays this little role? I mean, come on. It's going to take the right person just to flip that switch and it's either going to be good or bad either. She's never going to joke around again. I want to hook her up with one of our friends. I want to hook her up with one. You know which one I'm talking about. Girl? Yeah. No, no, no. Bump them clams, baby. Clam bumping. Muff diving. Yeah.

I'm going to close up shop. Oh, don't sew it up. It's like a Venus flytrap. It was like the Iron Curtains the other day. Hey, this vagina is like a Venus flytrap. When it opens, it's like, rawr. But then when she gets all scared, it's like, clamps closed. Oh, no, not the predator mouth. Predator mouth pussy. Predator puss? Not the predator puss. Can't do it. Can't do it. Speaking of, someone wants to know about your Christmas song.

Well, that's the, I was texting us. Did we say something wrong? Okay. Oh my God. Did she hear this already? Anytime I post this text, I'm like, I get nervous.

Christmas song is ready, baby. We're about to film the video to it. It's called Come Here, Cowboy. Yeah. It's so cute. It's just a little cute little country song. And I can't wait for you guys to hear it. We're probably going to release it. Planning on releasing it November 22nd. And then the video will be released the first week of December. Yeah. We're excited.

I'm so excited for this. This is like that was such a fun and creative process and I would do it time and time again. Yeah, no, I'm ready. I'm so excited to just get it out into the ether. When you buy from my merch online, just know you're buying from Shopify. They've been there for me ever since I started my merch company and that was a while ago. So we are like family at this point. All the tools Shopify has to offer helps me amplify my business to a whole new level. Without them, I

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You asked a few memes. How does one go about reading their birth chart? It's not easy. And I have been into astrology pretty much my entire life. And I'm just now getting familiar with it. But if you want to read, if you want to like do your birth chart, just go to cafeastrology.com. It's so easy. Type in your name, your birth date.

And the time that you were born, you have to know the exact time you were born or it's not going to give you an accurate reading. And where. And where. And then it will break it down for you and you will have, you know, it breaks it down like your sun sign, moon sign, Venus sign. And then from there, you can just study, Google, learn questions. Like I'm still learning.

learning everything it also does a little breakdown at the bottom too so you can learn a little bit about it but you really got to do your other research of like why and what it's so much like just learn the basics first like learn what your sun represents learn what your moon represents learn what you're rising venus um your for your um

North and South nodes, like learn all of that first, then learn about the houses. The houses is what's confusing because you have your, like my son is in my second house and I believe my moon is in my fourth and not exactly positive. Um, but like, it's just, it means everything, everything has a meaning. So it's like, if you really want to get into somebody's psyche, study their fucking birth chart. That's why I'm offended. My birth chart is online because it's

People are not, it's really, you're not supposed to, you're not supposed to post your birth charts. That's why when I saw all these people on Tik TOK doing that trend of like posting their birth charts, I was like, Holy shit. Like this is like giving away your social security number, but these are like a case shaker records and shit. So yeah, but also learn about yourself and then you can learn about others because like we just learned about yours. Well, I have a stellium we just found out and then you just found out.

You have an Aries stellium. Yeah. Which is fucking wild. I don't think I've ever met anybody who has an Aries stellium. But don't I have two? Don't I have two stelliums? What was the other one? I think Cap. Did you have a Cap stellium too? Yeah. Or an Aquarius stellium. I had two. Yeah. Yeah. But what did we find out about yours yet? Like something about a Gemini you...

I don't know, but I do know I found someone that has almost the same birth chart as me. Yeah, that's crazy. Weird. Like separated at birth. Crazy. But when you get in the same room as you guys, you totally get it. I know. Like it's like looking at a male version of you. Yeah, it's wild.

The poop bandit, the beauty glitch wrote in and said, I work at a facility that has well over 300 men on each shift. Ugh. That's disgusting. That's a lot of wiener. And we all have to use porta potties. I couldn't do it. I would shit in the ground. I would dig a hole and shit in the ground. Excuse me?

Well, one day we get told that there is a guy going around smearing poop on the handles and walls and even putting poop in the hand sanitizer of the porta potties that he had been doing this well over a week, even at the ones we use. They couldn't catch the guy because he cut the lines to the cameras and it's been over a month and still no sign. So needless to say, our buttholes are clenched together tighter than Fort Knox at work. What would you do?

Do you agree it took them over a week to tell us? I would be shitting in bags. Yeah. Literally. Now that we shit in bags on the fucking door with us. Get a bucket, put a bag in it and poop. There's no difference in a porta potty. Literally, dude. I would fucking shit in my car. I don't like porta potties to begin with. I can't go in one. I don't want to smell all of that. Oh my God. I can't do it. I'd shit my pants before shitting in a porta potty. When I first met my husband, he used to tell me that his fantasy was having sex with a girl in a porta potty. Guys.

That kind of doesn't surprise me. I was like, tell me you're a fucking juggalo without telling me you're a juggalo. That is some juggalo shit that they would do at the gathering, right? Yeah, that is so gross. Shout out to our juggalos and juggalettes. We love you guys. But yeah, I just, I can't do it. Port-a-potties disgust me. I just feel like you're sitting...

in like sitting no i just meant like when you go in one it's like being in like first of all shit coffin you better not be sitting on a fucking port-a-potty toilet there are people out there that sit no yes no yes i'm sure what if somebody has like open sores on their ass or their butt cheeks oh my god or if the dude uses it and misses and pisses but you gotta think whenever you like drop something and that

Backwater comes back up on you. Oh God, I can't do it. Have you seen the people who fall in them? No. What? What? What did you just say? Have you ever seen the videos? I'm...

Those are going in our group chat. Next time. What did you just say? When someone falls in it. Okay. First of all, what the fuck? How are they falling in a porta potty? Yeah. What do you mean? Push them over in it. Yeah. Oh God. No. Like they used to do on jackass. No, I can't. I can't. I cannot. I cannot. Oh God. Walking in there. I'm literally, I can't do it. I just watched a fight on my, um, I'm just telling you guys my IG reels.

Can we talk about IG Reels? Bro, mine is basically rotten.com. I am so scared of what is going to pop up on my IG Reels. First of all, you will delete girls, sex workers, their fucking pages because they're literally wearing like bikinis. But there's straight up people. I see at least seven people die every day. I can't. That's not my FYI. You're fucking, you got weird shit. Oh yeah.

Don't speak that into my life. Anytime somebody says some weird shit around my phone, I'm like, no, sir. I don't want that in my feed. No, thank you. Like it scares me. Mine is wild. Mine's like crusty toenails. Yeah. Some old guy that's like. Mine has like crusty toenails. Yeah. Like it's mine's more like gross and like poop and stuff like that. Mine is very violent. Well, that's because you send poop reels to us all day long. Yeah, because that's a you thing.

I would rather that than seeing somebody croak. Yeah. No, I watched these two girls fight in a port-a-potty the other day, like door open. And she had her like in the toilet. Oh yeah. Yeah. I saw that too. That was at a, at one of those country concerts. Yes. And she's wearing white boots. They call her white boots. Yeah. I love her. She's got, she has a Tik TOK. I love it. No, she's awesome. I love her. She fucking whooped that girl's ass. She whooped ass.

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No.

So if you guys haven't learned anything today on this fucking Ask, Tell, Confess, do not go into Port-A-Potty. But to answer that lady's question, one, yes, I would have been pissed off if my employer did not tell me

that somebody was putting poop in the hand sanitizer. That's why I don't fucking use hand sanitizer. When you guys try to give me hand sanitizer... Okay, mine doesn't have shit in it. Yeah, I don't poop in mine. I know, but what if you left your bag fucking somewhere and somebody... God, could you imagine someone trying to poop in that small of a hole? I mean, all they gotta do is... Mine's so tiny and like, no. I'm just saying...

I don't use, I don't use community salt and pepper shakers. I don't use community like Tabasco's anything that can open up in a restaurant. I don't use, I will sit there and suffer. I'll eat the plainest food and have the driest mouth. There's no way that I'm fucking using any of that shit. People are weird now, man. They are. People are fucking weird. Yeah. It's so sad that we have to think like that, but honestly, people just are, you know, they don't have good intentions. Some,

There's something wrong. It doesn't make me a weirdo because I don't trust nobody, you know? Don't trust a hoe. All right, you guys ready to go film? Let's go film. Let's go skedaddle. Are we allowed to say who we're filming with? No, we're not even allowed to say the **** in the beginning, so we're probably going to cut that. I've been saying ****. No, we just don't want to get in trouble. They don't know what it's for, and we're not going to get in trouble. I've been saying it on freaking Patreon. Patreon already knows. Yeah, but that's Patreon. This is public. We're filming ****. Love you guys. Bye.