Alexandra Kay: Never Look Back
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Is this thing on? What's up, babies? We are back with another episode of Dumb Blonde, except this time we are on tour. So, of course, I had to have my favorite person on the tour, Don't Tell Warren. Miss Alexandra Kay is in the house. Baby, how are you? I'm so good. I'm so happy to be here. You have no idea. Dude, I'm stoked to have you. I've been wanting you on for a long time. I have been watching you for so long. Like, I don't know.

on TikTok is how I found you was doing the coffee things and stuff like that. And I always thought you were just so cute. And I was like, I want to talk to her. Thank you. You just have such a warm energy. Oh, thank you. That means a lot. Well, I'm super excited to get into it because like, I'm a huge fan of your podcast and I love that you ask like all of the like outside the box questions. So I'm ready, baby. Give it to me. Girl, how about this? You just tell me what you want to tell me and we'll be good. Um, so, um,

What's it like being on tour with Daddy Roll? Are you excited? Honestly, it feels like a dream every single day. We were talking about that this morning. It's like, when is somebody just going to knock on our bus door and say, okay, you're done now. You've been pumped. You're having entirely too much fun working. It just feels like a dream. It's insane. Every single time that I get to even pass him in the hallway, I always try to stop.

and talk to him for like five minutes because I get just like the little gems of knowledge, gems of wisdom in five minutes. It's insane. It's like the best five minute conversation you'll ever have in your life is with him. Try being married. I mean, you get to a point where you're just like, all right, dude, enough. You're like, I don't want to know anymore. I don't want to be wise. I don't want to be any more wiser than I already am. Um, no, I remember when Jay came to me about this tour, he, we were sitting out back and I, were you guys

there? I'm not sure. You guys might have been there or not, but we were picking people to have on and he gave me a list of like girls that he wanted to come on. And I was like, Alexandra Kay. He was like, absolutely. Thank you. Yeah, no, it was, we were really excited to have you and just getting to see you out there every night and just, you know, in front of the crowd and you're so, you're,

like a natural showman. Like a lot of people don't have that. Thank you. You know, I feel like a lot of that I built just playing in dive bars for so long. I feel like you have to go through that, those years of playing for nobody or playing for just like five drunk guys on bar stools who don't give a shit what you're singing about or saying in order to just kind of figure out how to get even the...

craziest people's attention or people who just don't really care what you're doing to try to just kind of like get their attention I feel like is how you figure out how to hold a crowd's attention so I'm really really grateful for all of the little dive bars I've played and all of the shows that nobody really came to so that I could be ready for this it may do it may do who you are but I forgot who I was talking to last night I think it was Pauly Shore

And we were talking about the growth with my husband. And I was like, I've seen my husband play to 20 people exactly how he's doing out there for 15,000. And I used to always say to him, baby, why do you put so much energy into a show for just 20 people? He's like, because they came here to see me. And like, you know, it just that it's those humbling, humble beginnings that whenever you do make it to the big time, it's just kind of like, all right, I got

this. Exactly. And it's like training. Like that's kind of how I think about it. Whenever I, I think back on it now, I'm just like, man, if I would, if I would have been too scared to go out the night that, okay. So I showed up to my first, my first tour I ever put on, I drove myself in my Buick Encore to 27 cities. Wow. And, um, I know, and my guitar player is

It was just me and him, but he didn't have a driver's license. So I would literally play until two o'clock in the morning and then wake up at like 5 a.m. and drive us to the next city. We did that for a little over a month. But the first, it was my first tour ever, so I didn't know what to expect. And we showed up in Louisville. Yeah.

huge place. I was also booking it myself before I met Beth. Wow. So I also booked it myself. So I booked a huge room and just, I didn't know what I was doing. And, um, yeah, I showed up and there was like six people in like a, like a 500 cap room. And I went to the bathroom and I bawled my eyes out. And then I went out and just put on a show as if the place was packed. And, you know, it's like, I did not want to go up there and do that that night, but

Was so excited at the end of it I'm like these six people paid money to come see me and then didn't turn around and leave when they saw the place was empty like Like that's what it's about and then they bring more people and they bring more people in That was probably the best night of their life. That is probably like a core memory for them They're like I was one of the six people that was watching her perform and now look at her, you know They tell everybody that well, I'm sure jelly did this too. Like we would hang out and drink afterwards

words oh yeah you know what I mean I couldn't get my husband out of the venue yeah like now when he leaves I'm like are you sure because he's such a venue rat so I could never he would want to hang out with you he wanted to freaking move people in yeah by the end of the night and I'd be like babe no we're going home like hear your life story yeah and the people would be like oh where

go in tomorrow, like come over to our house. Yeah. No, that's how my husband was too. Yeah. Great, great memories. So let's bring it back. You grew up, you were born in Missouri. Yeah. I was born in Missouri, Southern Illinois. So I'm like right on the border. So I always just tell everybody I'm from St. Louis cause it's like the closest city. And if you say Illinois, they're like, Oh, you're from Chicago. I'm like six hours away from there. Um, so yeah, I was born in Missouri, grew up in a small town in Southern Illinois and then like got into music in St. Louis. That was like my first taste in the music business.

So growing up, how was your relationship with your parents? Oh, so good. Do you have brothers, sisters? I have two sisters. Yeah. And I'm the middle child, so I'm like best friends with both of them. Yeah. And it worked out to where, like, I was a freshman when my oldest sister was a senior. And then I was a senior when my youngest was a freshman. So we all, you know...

Did the high school parties thing together and everything. My older sister would take me out when I was a freshman. I would take my little sister out. So we're all really, really close. That's amazing. Oh, man. I really, really am blessed with just how close my family was. Went on a lot of family vacations and stuff. We were a softball family. So we all played competitive softball. And for the same organization. So I would be in like 16U. Courtney was 18. And Taylor was in like 14 or 12s.

And we would travel together and then all play like the same tournaments. So we were just always together. Athletic family. Yeah. I was surprised when I learned that about you. I was like, okay, softball. I love that. You know, I feel like it's how I learned my kind of, that's how I got my like determination, I guess. And just never.

never to take no for an answer. It made me tough. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I mean, I would think so. I mean, just getting out there and having balls thrown at your face every day. Right. I mean, that's a little scary. And just like, you know, physical punishment every single time you did anything wrong. They're like, run. Yeah. Um, but yeah, like, uh, like the army, like bootcamp. Oh man. And like when, when you get to a certain level, like at the, like at the club level or whatever, and we were like a nationally ranked team. So they, um,

Yeah, they did not play. We played all through the winter on turf indoors and everything. We never had breaks. I didn't really have any friends outside of softball because, you know, during the summertime, I didn't get to hang out with anybody like at school or anything. We were just always traveling. But once you had your sisters, though, you guys were so close, you know, so those are like built in. And your teammates. Yeah. And those are like built in best friends. Yeah, for sure. But but yeah, I really think it's it's what made me ready for this kind of lifestyle.

because it was just work, work, work, work, work. So now everybody's like, you don't get any breaks. I'm like, I never really had any breaks anyways. I think it's the Virgo in you too. When I found out your birthday was the other day, I was like, okay, that makes sense because I have a Virgo stellium, which means four planets that are in Virgo in my chart.

I don't know how to give up. I don't quit. Like I'm always working. So you have that same drive. Oh my gosh. So much. So much that I wish I could turn it off sometimes, but I can't. No, literally like even on our days off, I'm working. Like it doesn't matter what's going on. Like I'm, even if I'm just making content or doing something, it's like, you have to always be making a goal, you know, to feel fulfilled, I guess. You're so on your social posting too. Oh,

Cause like I follow you on everything and I'm just like, there's all, something is always going up and I'm like, Nick, Steph, we got to get something else out. Like it's pretty good though. No, no, they do. They're honestly, they're incredible. I love what you've been doing with the tour. I did that last year where every day we filmed like a look video or like something like that. And that's, that is so good because people get to see a different side of you too. For sure. We really started leaning in heavier to the vlogs, which

We didn't have as much time on our headlining tour to do that. And so we really are leaning into that. And I feel like everybody's getting to see everyone's personalities and getting to know everybody on the team, which is really, really cool. And I thought it was so awesome the other day when I introduced... I was...

talking to jelly and I was like this is Rocco my boyfriend and I just I'd never like introduced him as my boyfriend yeah I figured he'd always he was like I watch the vlogs I love that I'm uh we're gonna talk about Rocco in a little bit yeah let's circle back to childhood though so mom and dad are still together you guys are super close all that jazz you grew up doing um softball and then when did you start writing like I

When did you know music was kind of in your soul, in your spirit? So my mom used to tell me that she would just hear me sing in church, and she was like, oh, okay, she could just tell that I had a little bit of a musical ear. And then growing up in church and singing in the choir and all of that stuff, I always really loved it, and I was kind of the child that was just pretty outgoing and...

always wanted to be in front of the camera if like there was a camera rolling and And so I think that that's when they realized that I was just more creative And my other sisters like they didn't they were just more kind of like shy and I was just out there. Yeah and then I went through My first relationship I ever had was It lasted five years So my first and it sounds really weird to say now right now that I'm in my 30s but like my first boyfriend

was from 13 to 18. You do long relationships, I've noticed. That's crazy. But that's amazing that you find these people and...

it's a good and a bad thing because is it, is it, do you stay because you're in love or do you stay because it becomes a, um, a sense of like, I have to be here to make it work? Well, I think that now, and, and once I went through my divorce and I went started in therapy is when I started to realize why I think I hang on to things for entirely too long sometimes. Um, you know, when they're not good for me and I know that, and I just won't let it go. Um,

But I think that we kind of realized it all stemmed from my first experience of being in love and that not being healthy. First experience of being in love. What happened? And, you know, he was very heavy into drugs and it became...

physically abusive relationship and how old were you from 13 to 18 18 that's those are like pivotal years of growth also yeah so to go through two things of having to deal with somebody who's an addict and then also domestic violence is pretty heavy yeah and I and I hit it you know because I

I loved him and I knew my parents would never let me see him again. And I was just very anxiously attached to him. I mean, he was my first love, you know, and now I know that he actually wasn't. And, and he was just trauma bond. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And he, he did not grow up in a great situation. And when I look back on that now, it's like, it makes the whole situation make a lot more sense to me, but I didn't understand it then and blame myself a lot for it.

You can't blame yourself, though. I feel like those lessons are always put into place no matter how bad they are. As we get older, we understand that they do become kind of like a blessing because it's like had you have never gone through that, you would never know that side of life. For sure. So that's how I always try to look at things, too. Right. And had I never have gone through that, I don't think I would.

would have fallen into songwriting the way that I did because I was just so full of so many things that I couldn't talk about. And I was always a very emotional child anyway. I just feel everything times 10. And so when I was going through that, I remember walking through Walmart and seeing this little book that had like daisies on it.

And I picked it up, took it home, started writing like just diary entries. And those turned into poems. And then I just started hearing melodies and I just started writing songs. And it was all about what I was going through with him and just being in love for the first time. And

At that time, I was also... I switched from Catholic school to public school. Oh, wow. That's a big change. I did that, too. Yeah. How old were you when you did that? I went from junior high into high school. Okay. And I didn't know one cuss word. Yeah. And people used to make fun of me because I would wear, like, dresses down to my ankles. They would call me, like, Little House on the Prairie and stuff like that. No. Yeah, because I came from a Christian school into a Las Vegas public school. Oh, my gosh. So, yeah, it was a huge change. How was it for you? Yeah, it was...

Pretty much the same. I mean, but a lot of it is, you know, being, I switched from seventh grade. So I had seventh and eighth grade in public school before I went to high school. Oh my goodness. That's brutal. Yeah.

It's a weird age to change and try to make friends. Right. And I think that I was just so desperate to fit in that it was like anybody who would take me in, I was just like, okay, cool. And so I fell into a group that, you know, wasn't the best and developed some pretty unhealthy friendships and relationships at that time and, you know, got in a lot of fights and

Fist fights? Yeah. Crazy. I can't see Alexander K out there throwing hands. I know, and I've never talked about any of this either, so I'm giving it all to you, girl. I love it. No, I love it, and I think it makes you relatable because I grew up fighting, too. I got kicked out of my private school for fighting. I got kicked out of public school for fighting. I got kicked out of church for fighting. Wow. So I get it. I understand it. And what do you think—

That stemmed from. Well, I was just about to ask you that. Do you think that that... You met your boyfriend when 13, so that's what, sixth grade? Seventh grade? Yeah, seventh grade. So do you think what you guys were going through is what made you so volatile towards people? Or was it things at home that were causing that? No, no, it wasn't anything at home. And honestly, I think that the...

because I was able to go home every night to, you know, a very loving and accepting family is the reason why I didn't go down a completely different path. That's so amazing. Yeah. And I, I talk a lot about that with, with my therapist. She's like, you need to write a book because no one knows any of this is happening. And she's like, you should be like under a bridge somewhere. And like, based on, you know, everything that I've been through and just statistically, like, um,

And I was around a lot of drugs, never used. That's amazing, too, that you were able to say no and have willpower. Well, you know, I saw what it did to the closest person in my life at the time. And my whole goal was to just make him stop. So I didn't want to... What was his drug of choice, if I can ask? Well, it started...

Okay. When I first found out. Mm-hmm. Um, and then, you know, the, the story was that he was just holding onto him for somebody else or, um...

selling them for, you know, money or whatever. And so I was just like, okay, well, as long as you're not, you know, doing it. And then it was that, then it was cocaine, then it was heroin, then it was everything else. Wow. So he went down a really deep spiral with drugs. Yeah, for sure. That's a lot to deal with that in junior high. That's crazy. So do you think that that from that relationship, just being so frustrated is what was causing you to lash out with other people in the fighting? Well, I think that it was also, um, it was also the fact that

When he got angry, it was physical. And so when my friends got angry, it was physical. Everything was always fighting with my friends. I mean, it was like some pretty...

It was some pretty traumatic stuff, like in this group of just like, everybody's just beating each other up when they get mad. That's terrible. Um, yeah, it was pretty like, you know, there was like a hierarchy in this like group and it was just like, you two are going to fight or I'm going to fight you. Wow. Yeah. It was, it was pretty, it's pretty rough. That is rough. You got to like live in fight or flight every time you're around them. For sure. And it was just, you know, fight back or get your ass kicked all the time. And it was just, you know, and it made me really, really hard for,

for a while. And I think that I just kind of fell into, oh, this is how we handle things? Okay. So then this is how I handled things for a few years until I completely separated myself from that whole group of people and...

broke up with my boyfriend and spent a lot more time with my family. And just as they say, anyway, they just kind of think I fell back into who I had always been. So from 13 to 18, though, those are like huge growth years. So aside from that relationship, you're so you start writing. And then where does the writing take you musically? I just started writing.

you know, working with anybody who knew how to use GarageBand. - Oh yeah, I remember. - I've got these songs, like literally written in this book, and I'm like, can I record these? And they're like, cool.

Do you play guitar? No. It's just spoken word. You're like, it's just poetry. Yeah, right. And so I just found somebody who could just kind of put the music with everything for me and started cutting these songs, putting them on SoundCloud, you know? Oh, yeah. Yeah, just doing that. I could never imagine you on SoundCloud, but that's amazing. Yes, yes. Like, you're just willing to do whatever. You won't find me now. I made sure there was no evidence of those first few. What is the first song you uploaded on SoundCloud? Oh, um...

I believe it was called Let You Go. Yeah, and it was very, it almost had like a... Because you were supposed to be a pop artist, right? So I signed, my first record deal I signed was in 2012, and I signed with Network Entertainment. How old were you then? I was 21. Okay, you were 21. And I signed...

This deal ended up going into... Well, okay, I had been working in hip-hop for a little bit. So I worked from, like, 19 until I was, like, 22 at the Four Seasons Hotel in St. Louis. Didn't you have your first agent when you were 16? I think I had read that somewhere. Yes, I did. So take me from there. I went into acting, modeling, did that whole voiceover. I did voiceover work, like, on the radio. What does voiceover work exactly? So I basically would do, like...

like the, are you ranking material and like the college, like the local college radio spots and stuff like that. Yeah. And just go in and do that, which was really fun. I loved it. And, uh, and so I did that and I did a couple of commercials and, um,

I loved it. I just wanted to be in front of the camera. And then that was when I got into musical theater as well and did a lot of theater. And I feel like that, especially from like my junior, senior year of high school, it like really kept me out of trouble because I stopped going out on the weekends and I would just be like with all the theater kids building sets, you know, and I was just like, gosh, this is so much more peaceful than what I used to be doing. So, so yeah, so I did that. And, and then

Kind of took it a step further and got an agent and did some of those commercials. And then that's when I started meeting people in the music business when I was working at the Four Seasons and met a couple of rappers. And I was just like, hey, if you guys ever need hooks, like I sing and I'll do it for free, you know, just call me.

And so they did. And then they just, then they just kind of passed my name around. They were like, this girl does it for free and she sounds good. You know? And so then I just ended up in every closet studio in St. Louis for a couple of years. And, um, one of those rappers was Nelly. Yeah. Yeah. I ended up working with Nelly and, uh, got in the studio with Huey and Chingy. Where the hell did Huey go? Huey died. Oh, he did. Yeah. Did he? I didn't, I never knew. Did everybody know

your face no because i seriously he's the one that's saying pop lock and drop it right i never knew he died this is my first time this guy damn what did he die from gunshot oh son of a bitch all right well r.i.p huey i'm sorry baby i did not know yeah i genuinely didn't know yeah i know and yeah but that was a that was a crazy time and it was so much fun and

um, that's how I signed my first deal. Yay. Yeah. So what was that like signing your first deal? Like, were you just, did you think that the world was going to change? Of course we all do. Right. We think, Oh, this is it. This is it. I'm going to the top. Um, nobody could tell me. Meanwhile, my contract was like one piece of paper. Like it was just, it was so illegitimate. Who did you sign with? Network entertainment. It was like a, it was like a, um,

like a little indie label in St. Louis. Okay, gotcha. Yeah, I think everybody has... that it has never been in the music industry or wants to be in the music industry and wants to be signed so bad. I don't think they realize how...

not for the artist these deals are. And I always stress that on the podcast that, yes, being in the music industry is awesome and there's so many blessings that come with it, but there's also so many deals that just you have to be very careful for and look out for. For sure. I mean, my creative freedom just completely went out the window with that deal. And

I was just so young and naive and I just wanted any help that I could get. And so I took it and don't get me wrong. Like I had a blast and I learned a lot in that. I think it was about a year and a half I was with them. And, but still to this day, you know, the songs I released with them, I haven't seen any, any money from them. They still own everything. How is that legal? How do they get away with that?

I don't know. And I just. It's so unfair because you guys, without you guys, there's no them, you know? So it's like, you would think that they would treat people better. Yeah. You would think so. Um, I mean, the last conversation we had was that they were like, yeah, if you rerecord the song and put it out with us, then we'll take the original down. And I was like, no,

no, why would I ever do that? I feel like if, you know, you sign with a big label because I'm sure everybody and their mom is looking at you now, they'll be able to handle that for you. And that's called karma. Yeah. Well,

We're looking forward to that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, I'm looking forward to that day. I'm like, please get that song out of here. No. Is it rough? I want to hear it. It's rough. Please don't. We're going to look it up one of these days. We're going to go on the bus and listen to it, and then I'm going to FaceTime you while we're listening to it in the background. Oh, my God. And then the owner of the label had this clothing brand as well, and so in the music video, he like...

made me wear his clothing brand no yeah there's a music video up too what is the name of it i we have to go look at it okay oh my god i'm so scared it's so bad you guys it's so bad no you are so funny it sounds i'm singing out of my nose you do you know who i'm married to right there's some videos up that he has up and i'm like honey what is going on what the fucking cornrows are you kidding me

Like, I'm like, who is this man? I mean, we have all done some, like when you first get started and you're like, you'll do anything. I mean, we've all got questionable shit out there. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. You should see some of the first shit I uploaded on YouTube and TikTok. Like, don't, let's not do it. But you know, it's like, you don't, you don't know who you are.

You're finding your sound. You're finding your persona online or who you want to be. So don't ever, that's a part of your journey. So don't be ashamed. I've kept it up. You know, there's some really bad, very first YouTube videos. Those are gone. Nobody will ever find those, but you know, it's cool to look back on. Right. And you're just like, Oh my gosh, I thought this was so great when I did it. And I was so excited. No, please stop girl. But that's a testament of how far you've come. You know,

I know. They cut my hair off. I was blonde. Not the bed shot. Oh, the hairdo. Let me see the hairdo. Oh my God. That is so like Sarah Fawcett. And the mountains in the background. This is very Bob Ross. Very Bob Ross. Is he painting as we speak?

I love it. I love it. Oh my God. Being an adult has its high points. Like you can eat ice cream for dinner anytime, or if you want to stay up all night, you can, but it's not always fun. You also have to do your taxes and figure out what's for dinner every freaking night.

I hate it. And make doctor's appointments. And for that one, there is ZocDoc, the healthcare app that makes adulting that much easier. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors. Choose the right one for your needs and click to enter.

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This year, I'm thankful for getting to meet all of you guys at the meet and greets. And I'm also thankful for Lumi whole body deodorant. Why? Because Lumi is a Dio like no other. It was created by an OBGYN who discovered BO isn't just an underarm thing. It's an all over thing. So she developed a pH optimized deodorant that's clinically proven to block odor all

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for 15% off your first purchase at Lumi deodorant.com. That's code bunny XO at L U M E D E O D O R A N T.com. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. So during all of this, you, you also had a relationship that you started with somebody, correct? It was your high school boyfriend who you ended up being with for about 10 years. Yeah. So my ex and I met, um,

right around the time I signed this record deal. Oh, wow. 2012. And we were together for, yeah, 11 years. That's a long time. Yeah. Long, long time. We stopped dating for a year pretty early on. We just weren't seeing eye to eye on what we wanted. And I was really, really career focused and he wasn't really there at that point. And so we split and then ended up getting back together and

you know, kept it going for a long time. I held onto that for a long time. Yeah. That's, that's crazy. And we'll, we're, we're going to circle back into that. Um, when we talk about when you dropped your first, our, um, which album was it right here? The, uh,

I have it in my notes. Oh yeah. Yeah. All I've ever known. Yes. All I've ever known. I'm sorry. I have so many notes and I'm trying to look through them. Um, but you also during this time got signed to a Netflix show where you're doing a Netflix show. Yeah. Take me on this journey. I know. And I also have to tell you how I got it because it's so invisible string. Okay. And like,

Okay, so first of all, God puts me in situations in my life way before I'm ever going to be back and realize why I was there to begin with. Oh, I love that one. And I have a couple really pretty creepy scenarios for you. And I just had another one. Was it yesterday, two days ago? But so I had just come back from being on The Voice.

I mean, they didn't air my episodes. So like, was I ever really on it? I don't know. And no one turned around for me. It was an audition, right? Yeah, it was an audition. So, but you know, during that time, they keep you in a hotel room for a month and you literally can't leave the hotel for a month. They make you do that for a month and then don't even air your episode. That's brutal. Yeah. It's a pretty crazy scenario. So I'm just going to tell you this while we're on this, but so the other day, two days ago when we were going through

Um, we were at our hotel realized our tour manager had booked a different hotel and he was like, Oh, I'm so sorry guys. We're actually somewhere else. We all get back in. I'm like, okay, I'm going to run in and go to the bathroom. And then Rocco and I went to a different hotel and then went and saw Hamilton, which is so fun for my birthday. Um, and we, um,

walk into this hotel and I just like get this really like eerie feeling and I'm like that's it smells familiar it looks familiar and then I see all these people walking around with guitars and I was like oh my gosh this is the hotel that I lived in for a month when I was on The Voice no way and have never been back oh my god but you're back now on your own terms like that's amazing the day before you know I got to play crypto with you guys and dude and like

what? Isn't that, I got goosebumps. Isn't that crazy? I was like standing outside. Like this is where I was bawling my eyes out. Like, Oh my gosh, my career is over. Nothing's going to happen for me. They just didn't, you know, it's over. And then I'm just standing right back. Oh my gosh. Isn't that wild? But it's crazy how the universe brings you back to say, see, see how far you've come because you probably are really hard on yourself. And like, because you always do have your head down working. I'm the same way. We rarely stop to smell the roses and like,

appreciate what we do, you know? So that's kind of like the Lord telling you like, Hey, hello. I know. Look at you. Hi. It wasn't supposed to happen then. It was supposed to happen now, but that was a part of what it took to get you here. Absolutely. And so I had one of those the other day. And so back to, I left my record deal, started going on Facebook, posting videos of me singing nineties country songs on my parents' staircase and

Um, from there I recorded Jolene. Um, and that was my first viral video. It got like 80 million views on Facebook and kind of grew my Facebook page enough for a producer from the voice to see that video. That's how I got my blind audition. Did that. Didn't work out. 30 days later, I get a call from my friend who's, um, who's driving for Uber in Los Angeles. And he's like, dude, um,

I just had the craziest Uber ride. I don't know if anything's going to come from it, but like, I have to tell you what just happened. And I'm like, what's up? He says, this guy gets in the back of my Uber and we've got an hour ride somewhere and we're talking. And I'm like, what do you do? He's like, what do you do when you're not Ubering? Yada, yada. And he's like,

He I was driving him to a showcase because he was telling me about this show that he was casting and how they needed a country singer to fill out to round out this cast. And this was going to be the last person to cast. And he was just like, oh, do they have to live here? And he's like, I don't know what it was in me, but I just pulled up your Jolene video and I just handed it to him in the backseat.

And he was like, who is this and how do I get in contact with her? And they cast me in the show. How strange is that? Shout out to good friends. I know. That speak good about you when you're not in the room. That's amazing. Insane. Insane. And so I was just sitting in Southern Illinois 30 days after getting cut and feeling like, oh, what am I going to do now? Thank God, though, because Bob Ross. Right. For sure. Right.

Thank God. At the time, you were very upset, but it was such a blessing. I really thought I was going to be living in those mountains. When one door closes, another one opens. That's amazing. That was really cool. I got cast in the show. They were like, we need you out here in 30 days. You have to find your own place to live. I ended up living with Scotty, which is so random. I was like, where am I going to live? Scotty was the Uber driver. He was like, somebody just moved out.

And he was like, do you want the room? And I'm like, yeah. I moved out there. I didn't know anybody. Didn't have any friends. Um...

Figured out how to drive the crazy highways out there pretty quickly. Had a lot of panic attacks. This is in L.A., right? Yeah. Okay, yeah. Oh, yeah. The L.A. freeways fucking scare me. I make a wee-wee drive all the time. It was so crazy. And I'm from the West Coast. Oh, my God. I'm like from Waterloo, and I'm like, where are all the parking lots? Like, this is crazy. And so, yeah, I just jumped right into shooting that show. Made friends with everybody on the cast. It was a wild experience. Unfortunately, the show just...

There were too many cooks in the kitchen, you know, call it what you will, whatever the reason was, it just wasn't as successful. And that was just another heartbreak after that. And I was, I have to tell you, like I was devastated when that happened. I mean, it really put me in a rut. Well, it's like an extremely high, high, you know, and then to have to be let down from that. I mean, you just, it's a lot.

It's pretty heavy. I mean, not only the producers and everybody saying, this is our most funded show of the year, this is going to change your lives, and shooting it for two years. Wow. Yeah. That's a long time. Yeah. Holy shit. It was a long time. We worked with all of the big music video directors, and we got signed to Warner Brothers at that time. That's when I signed my record deal with Warner. So this is your second record deal that you're signing. Yeah, and I was just on cloud nine. Thought it was all going to happen, and then the show came out,

It was mismarketed. And this is from them. This is what they said happened. So basically it was marketed as a reality TV show. So, you know, you get recommended things on Netflix and it was kind of pushed to people who watch reality shows. So like people who watch Ice Road Truckers were notified about our musical television show. Right. That was... Was it like Glee kind of or like what? So no, and that's...

that is what I was pitched whenever I got cast in the show was something like that. And then what ended up happening is it just, the storyline got extremely confusing. They were following our careers, but then we were also creating our own musical about our own lives in the middle of it. But then also already, and then you're just watching and it breaks out into a big budget music video.

Okay. Yeah. Is it still up? Can we watch that too? Yeah. Oh God. We're doing a deep dive tonight. I mean, welcome to the graveyard. Here's all the things I did. But this is so cool that you have such an extensive digital footprint though. Like that's amazing because when you're winning fucking Grammys, you're going to look back on, uh, what is it called? I'm so sorry. Uh, West. Oh yeah. West side. You're going to look back on West side and you're going to be like,

this was all part of my journey. Like, and you have it all documented, dude. So like when you do do like a documentary of your life story, they're going to be able to pull all these clips and like, it's just going to be such a beautiful montage of your life. So wait for that. Yeah. No, don't look at it with embarrassment. No, you know, it's what's really cool is all of the moments I got to feel that were like those real rock bottom moments because it's what makes me so grateful for moments like these. Yeah. So when, um,

When West Side came out, we were all over Times Square. We did all the big TV shows and there were billboards all over L.A. and L.A. Live. Like, I mean, it was crazy. Mm-hmm.

And then we get the call around Thanksgiving. Hey, we're not putting any more. They're not putting any more money into the show. It's buried in the algorithm. Like it's done. It's over. And your checks are going away and we're not doing a second season. Also then Warner brothers calls days later and they dropped us all. You don't get residuals. And I'm like, wow, that's crazy. And then you lose your second record deal just out of the blue. Yeah. What was their reasoning? Um,

They just didn't. Okay, so what happened was we lost the deal with the show, and then they started dropping people from the record label, but they held on to two of us. And so I was with them a little bit longer, and we just weren't seeing eye to eye as far as like the songs they were pitching me and wanted me to cut. And I was just like, this doesn't even sound anything like anything I do. And so that was more...

hey, it doesn't feel like it's going to be a good fit, but they did drop everybody else. I love that you stand up for yourself though, because most people want it so bad. They're willing to be who they aren't. And you are like, no, I'm not going to cut this song. This isn't a good fit. I don't care if I'm going to lose this record deal or not. So, but you know, if I wouldn't have gone through that first record deal where I did record a bunch of things that didn't feel like me, you know, I wouldn't have known to stand up for myself then. And then

So I had still some time left on my lease in California. And, like, I had to pay my bills. So I was driving all through Burbank with my bartending resume because I bartended for a long time. And I was going to every single bar. And as I'm driving, I was, like, on Sunset. And they are literally painting over our billboard.

of our show as I am like handing out my resume to bartend. I feel like that's your life though. I feel like God has a sense of humor with you. Yeah. I was like, twist it. Why don't you? Oh my gosh. Yeah. It was, it was really, really wild. I feel like God has a sense of humor with you and he's like, you're going to, you're going to really feel this right now, but I promise you, I'm going to bring you out of this. He's like, we're going

to make it hurt real bad so that you just really appreciate everything good that's about to happen. But that's amazing because some people don't get those lessons and they don't get to learn those valuable things that, you know, make you grow in life and become a better, it's character development. 100%. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So during all this, how is your relationship? Because you are with your ex at this time during all of this, how's that going?

So at that time, like if you watch the show ever, we do have a lot of rocky moments in the show. And there were a lot of things going on behind the scenes where, you know, I have that song on my record called Painted Imperfect. And like that is exactly what I did. And a lot of things were happening that were huge red flags at that time that I just really covered up. And we stayed together. We moved back from L.A. to...

Southern Illinois because that's where he could work. And so I said, here's what we'll do. Since you moved out to LA with me, we'll go back to Southern Illinois. You go back to work in the union and I will commute to Nashville. And so I started driving, uh,

I started driving to Nashville every Monday, which is a four and a half hour drive from St. Louis. I would couch surf Monday through Friday, just wherever I could crash and write songs, record, make content. I joined 615 House at that time. And then I would get back in my car and drive home Friday, speedboat.

spend Saturday and Sunday and then Monday I would drive back and I did that for almost three years did he ever do you ever feel like he supported your dream because I feel like all of these highs and lows that you've gone through I don't hear about him being by your side through it

I do feel like he was supportive. And we went through a lot together. And he moved to LA for me, with me. And I moved back home for him and then commuted for him. So there was a lot of things that we did for each other. And it wasn't all bad with us. He was my best friend. Yeah. And unfortunately, we just grew apart. We grew up.

I tell people this all the time. It's like... And in my song, you know, in Everleave, when I say, I guess me at 21 and 31 just wanted different things. Well, I mean, yeah. Like, imagine yourself at 21 and what you wanted and what was important in a relationship to you. Yeah. And then...

at 31, what's important now. It was like, it was just really cool when we got together that his parents owned the bar down the street and that our friends kicked it together and that my friend was dating his friend. Right. Do you know what I mean? And a lot of it was just going out and drinking and partying and like being young and stupid and having a good time. Yeah. And moving into our first apartment together and splitting rent because neither of us could afford it by ourselves. I mean, we were kids and then we got older and...

We just didn't want the same things anymore. Yeah. I know how that goes. But, I mean, people don't understand every year you're growing, but 21 to 31 is a huge jump in maturity levels also. So, you know, to...

To be able to acknowledge that and get out of that marriage is huge on both of you guys' parts too because some people would have hung on for even longer. So to know that you weren't happy and just be like, hey man, we need to just part ways, even though that dude was your best friend and you guys had a decade plus under your belt, that's not easy to walk away from. Not at all. It was devastating. It was like... How do you get the strength to do that? I didn't have a choice.

At that point, I didn't have a choice. There was something that just snapped in me. I'll never forget where I even was. I was in San Diego, and I was playing San Diego Hasselblues, like the small room that night. And we were just out on another headlining tour, and things had just really gone downhill. And it was just getting worse and worse and worse and worse. Was it like arguing? It was arguing. It was...

He wasn't working at the time. And so when you have a lot of free time and I'm on the road...

you know, it's a lot of drinking and then with the drinking comes more arguing. And so, and then, you know, spending money because if money's not coming in and you're not working, it's just a lot easier to spend money because you got to entertain yourself somehow. Um, that's still not fair to you though. Right. And then, you know, I'm on the road and calling you from a closet cause I don't have a green room cause I'm in clubs, like small 300 cap clubs and,

And being like, please stop spending the money on the credit card. Like, we cannot afford, you know. What is he spending money on? Just going out? Yeah, pretty much. Was there any infidelity or anything like that? No, no. There, you know, once we separated, it was instant that he was gone.

wild and out. You know, and we're from a small town, so it was, nobody knew we were separated. Oh no. So the girl was like, yo, your husband was trying to take me home last night.

Oh, that's so hurtful. And so that's how I was finding out because no one knew. And at that time we were still... Shout out to the girl who told you though. Yeah, she's a real one. Nobody ever wants to hear that. Yeah, I know. Thanks for telling. I was just like, thanks. Yeah. Yeah. And, um, you know, cause there were a lot of girls that did do things that I found out from other people and they didn't tell me. Goodness. So, you know, it was, uh,

It was really, really hard. But you know how when somebody just keeps proving that this was the right decision, it just gets easier every single day. You know, it's different if they're completely turning their life around and changing things. But when you just watch them continue to spiral in the opposite direction as you're going, you're like for the strength to get out well.

Yeah. Well, I could.

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I applaud you for how you went through the divorce because you were so classy about it. You didn't speak about it. You literally just poured your heart out into an album, and that was it. You didn't go into the press. It wasn't messy. You just did it so... Not what normal people in the spotlight would do. Divorces get pretty hectic and disturbing sometimes, and I really...

appreciated the way you did yours. So thank you. You know, I, I really loved him. And so the last thing I ever wanted to do was destroy him further than I know I destroyed him when I had to leave, you know, because it's not what he wanted, but it was what was going to be best for me in the long run. And what I think is going to be best for him, because at the end of it, I was not in love anymore. Right. And so when you're,

in a relationship with somebody and you're not in love anymore, that's not easy on the person who still is in love. And I'm like, you don't, you don't deserve to be with somebody who is not in love with you anymore. So I want you to go find love and go be happy. Um, but the last thing that I wanted was to destroy his reputation. It was really tough to hear, you know, what was really hard was when it came out, um,

And then everybody speculated that it was because God famous, which is so weird. You know what I mean? Like, that's not even a real thing. I'm not. But like, you know what I mean? Like, that's the comment section is, oh, she blew up and just left her husband in the dust. And it's like, I had to read that over and over and over and over. The Internet is cheating. And I'm like, yeah.

Yeah, it was brutal. That was brutal. And also to just be super heartbroken. I lived by myself for the very first time at 30 years old. Oh my goodness. I had never lived alone. Take me on that first night that you're alone in your apartment. I was terrified. You know, like later on, I loved it, but it was like, I was scared. I never like...

Sure, I slept alone, but in hotel rooms and in my home that I was comfortable in. But I moved in with my manager, Beth, for a while at the beginning of it because, first of all, I was extremely unstable. And there were plenty of times when she just brought tequila upstairs to my sobbing ass. Beth's a real one. Yeah, she is. I would have never got through it without her. And she was just like, okay, do we need to go out? You know what I'm like? Yeah.

You know, like it was, it was really, really tough. So she moving in with her really helped my transition. But, um, it was a couple weeks in to living alone and realizing that every decision I made was my own. And that's when I ended up writing all I've ever known was because I was like, oh my gosh, I didn't even realize that this is how I've always wanted my house to look because I

I never really got a say on that. He was, um, he was very much things his way. Right. And if it wasn't his way, it would eventually be his way. Right. You know what I mean? And I am very much a people pleaser have always been. So I would end up being just be like, fine, whatever you want, you know, do you, after these relationships and after learning so many life lessons, do you still consider yourself a people pleaser?

Yes, because I feel like it's in my heart to be. Right. But in the best way. But with boundaries now? Yes, with boundaries now. But not in a bad way, not in an unhealthy way. Because I feel like having the heart of a servant is why...

I have such a connection with my fans because I really want to... It's so important to me that they know that they are loved and appreciated. And I don't know that everybody really cares that much that their fans feel real, true, genuine love and appreciation and gratefulness every day. As long as they're happy with the music, it's like that's enough sometimes for some artists, but that's not enough for me. And so...

If that part of me completely went away, then I would lose myself completely. So I don't ever want to lose that. Your fans and the people who love you and your music are lucky to have you because not a lot of people, especially in this industry, as you know, feel that way. They want to just do the show and go home and do it all over again. You know, you actually want to get out there and meet these people who are supporting you and love on them like they love on you. So, you know what I was thinking is like,

Because Jelly's the same way. Oh, yeah. No, he is. And when I watch him up there, it makes a lot of sense because we haven't been through the same things, but all the highs and lows in life and the highs and lows that I've witnessed and experienced in my career, like, I can see it up there. Like, when he gets so emotional, it's like...

He did not expect his life to turn out this way. And there were so many times when I had another letdown that like, I truly didn't expect my life to turn out this way either. And it's like, I feel like you just have to go through shit to really, really stand here and be like, thank you. You know? Yeah. It's a part of your journey. And that's, you know, it's,

special because not a lot of people get to experience the lessons that you guys have and has that it's made you who you guys are. So did he do meet and greets for a long time? My husband, I was like, I bet you were dragging him out at some point. Like there are 10,000 people here. You cannot meet everyone. My husband does meet and greets when we go to the grocery store. Okay. Like we, we, there's a rule. I will not go on a date with him in Nashville because it's not a date.

It's literally a meet and greet and I'm just sitting there eating, you know, just like, hi guys. Yep. I'm sure I'll take the picture for you. You know, like, and I don't mind. I love my husband. I'll do whatever. But it's like, you know, my husband does not know how to turn it off. He does. He just, if you come up to him and you want to talk, he's going to talk to you. And I love that about him. You know, I'm never going to get in the way of him being who he is. Sometimes I'm like, baby, can we just have one freaking meal together? Just me and you, please. Yeah.

So take me on this journey with TikTok because you got on TikTok and that's how I found you was on TikTok. You were doing those. I know people have told you this before, but I think that you are the closest thing that this generation has to Dolly's voice.

I think Megan Maroney is, what is that? Barbara Mandrell of this generation. I think Cody Johnson is the George Strait of this generation. And I think that you have the Dolly vocals, man. Oh, thank you so much. You're welcome. You hear it all the time though. I know you do. But it's so cool. Like every time I hear it, it's like,

She's the best. Like you don't get any better than that to me. You know what I mean? She's just a great human too. Who she is. I know. Cause I know you've met her. I have never met her. Oh my God. You got to meet her. I know. And however long I've been singing her songs and I, and I haven't met her. You'll meet her. Yeah. I can't wait. I can't wait. And what an incredible person to just me, just watching videos from afar and she just shines so bright. And, um, but thank you. That's a huge compliment. And I want to, um,

continue to kind of live in that. And I really leaned into that in my record, you know, I wanted like the soft kind of spoken word thing that she does. And I wanted to be able to do that. And it's just really, it was very convenient that I was able to do that because the record is just so emotional. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So, so with TikTok, I came home from the TV show

Wrote a song called I Kind of Don't, which ended up being my first number one on iTunes and was the first time that labels started to, you know, slide into the DMs and show some interest. Do they really do that? Labels just slide in the DMs? That's how, yeah, that's how I got my first. Not even a freaking email? That's how I did it. They're sliding in DMs. Like, what's up, babe? Yeah, they're just like, hey, on Instagram. Yeah.

And so that's how, you know, I had my first label meetings. But I was writing this song called I Kind of Don't and I was with Tana Matts and Ryan Robinette. And I remember Ryan being like, have you guys heard about this app called TikTok? And I was like, isn't that a kid's app? I did the same thing. I was like, you're not getting me on there. She tried for a year and a half to get me on there.

I was like, you're not doing it. I was like, guys, I think that's going to be creepy. I was like, I'm like too old for that. I think I said the same thing. And he was like, no, like artists are putting their music on there and it's, it's like going. And this was 2019 or 20. Yeah. 2019. Your Facebook was already popping though. Right? Yeah. Facebook was my first platform that I had virality on. I love Facebook.

me too. Not a lot of people utilize Facebook. I love Facebook. I know. I'm looking at Nick because it's like, it's like our little, okay, we're not telling anybody. You guys don't go to Facebook. Nick's our little, our social media guy. And we just, we just scheme about Facebook all the time because it's like, everybody just thinks it's,

For the older generation, it's over. And I'm like, man, no, it pops. I'm on there every day posting shit. Like, I love Facebook. I know. I follow you on Facebook. Oh, I love that. Yeah. But I mean, like, reels, like, they go crazy. Yeah. Don't go over there, people. No, don't. I'm just kidding. It's really chill over there. Yeah, it sucks. It's terrible. You don't see anything. But I, yeah, I started posting on Facebook, had virality over there. Yeah.

And then when Instagram became a thing, worked that as much as I could, but it wasn't as easy to grow on Instagram back then. Yeah. Instagram is still my lowest platform. Yeah. I don't love it. Yeah. It's really hard to grow there. Yeah, I don't love it. They don't care about us over there. No, they don't. Literally, they do not. I feel like Facebook and TikTok at least shows us a little bit of love. Yeah. Instagram is like, fuck you, pay me. Right. That's all they care about. Yeah, I know. Facebook can get ruthless, though. Oh, yeah.

Facebook's my most ruthless platform in the comments. Oh, the comments? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's terrible. I don't even read the comments. And if I do, it's always an asshole at the top. And then I always respond to it. And then it gets like a thousand more comments on it. And I do it on purpose. Right. No, they're brutal over there. They do not care. No, they don't. It's definitely where I get destroyed the most there. But they're watching.

Yeah, exactly. And I mean, the crazier it gets in the comments, the views just like skyrocket. Keep it going. Okay, I just won't read. Oh no. I'll turn a blind eye. You have to post and ghost. That's what I do. Yeah.

So I decided, okay, let me try this TikTok thing. I started posting just little clips of me singing here and there, playing a little guitar. Nothing happened, of course. And then posted I Kind of Don't. And that was my first song to ever go viral. And then I think it got like 10,000 pre-saves. Like my first song I ever released. And from one video, from one viral video. And I said, oh my gosh, they are not kidding. Like this is a big platform.

So I just kept feeding it and feeding it. I'd post like three times a day, post all my songs, and my monthly listeners started going up, and I started making money. Girl, the first time I made money off of my music was after I Kind of Don't. Money came in, which is about three months after the song comes out, and it was my first payment. And I was just sitting on my bed and...

My ex at the time was like out there mowing the lawn. It was just a normal day. We were poor as shit. And I open up my tune core and I was like, my jaw just dropped and I booked it outside and like ran into his arms. And I was like, we made time.

Like it was like life changing for us, you know? And yeah, it was, it was wild. We were crying. It was like a whole thing. I'll never forget that day. I'll never forget that day. And then I was like, all right, TikTok is my job. Let's go. You know, that's what it did for me. We were one of the first podcasts to get on TikTok. Do you remember that Mimi? And we were so ahead of our time with the podcast that TikTok used to flag all my podcast videos because they didn't know what it was. And,

And then once they finally started letting them on, then they started blowing up. And then now everybody else and their mom has a freaking podcast on there. Right. It's almost like I compare it to gambling in Vegas. Yeah. When you hit a jackpot on a slot machine, you just get so addicted to those numbers and just the viralness of everything. And that's really what keeps people going. It's an addiction. 100%. But when you see it actually like helping your career too, then that's also, you know,

For sure. What would you do it for? It just felt so like, like it was just a door opening. Like I just found like a little crack and I was just like, all right, I'm walking through here and I'm just going to chase this because at that time I had nothing else going on. And I felt like I just kind of snuck into this little like,

crack in the door and I was just like don't tell anybody I'm in here but I'm gonna work while I'm in here you know yeah and so that happened had a couple of other songs go viral started making some money off my music one random morning I every morning I wake up and I would be like Alexa play 90s country and it would just play whatever and I had my phone propped up and I had avocado toast

And I had just started making my own like lattes because I couldn't afford to go to Starbucks anymore. And so I was like, I'm going to figure out how to... Homemade lattes are better anyways. They are. And the coffee's not burnt. Yeah, exactly. Not a Starbucks fan either. Yeah. Yeah. And so I...

Slid in, sang a Jodi Messina song, and then somebody comments and says, how do you make your coffee? And I responded to that, and I made my second coffee, and I sang Cowboy Take Me Away. It got three million views, and I said, okay, this might be a thing. Next morning, woke up, did it again.

A few more million. And I'm not kidding. It was everything I posted was a million at least. No, I remember that era. It was. I was like, this girl is singing, making coffee, and the views are crazy. Go, girl. Wild. Yeah. And so at this time...

Nick had just started in a social media role for me. So I called him and was like, dude, what is happening? And he was like, I don't know, but like you better be making coffee. I was making those videos three times a day. Oh my goodness. Yeah. And just stockpiling them so that if I couldn't be at my house in the morning, I had something to post and it was every single day. And then did I get burnt out doing that? Very much. Yeah. I do that too. And it became stressful. Mm-hmm.

Which is so strange to think, right, that I would get stressed about making coffee in my kitchen and posting a video. But it felt like my lifeline because I got so addicted to those numbers and I was like,

So I started this kind of strategy. Okay, this is going to go viral. And then I can post an original song. And that will kind of like fall into that same momentum tornado. And I'll get a lot of views on an original song. And I would post coffee, original, coffee, original. And I'd post at least twice a day. And that's how I got my numbers up for my original music. And...

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And eventually I just had to stop doing it because I was like, I'm stressed. Yeah. It's a lot of pressure. People don't realize like, they're like, oh, all you do is create content. And it's like, let me see you do it for six months straight and see how you feel. Like if there's a, it's a lot of pressure to put on yourself because if something tanks, you're like, what happened? Why did I do this? Or, you know, like you just want to always make sure that you're moving forward. And sometimes the algorithms don't allow us to do that.

Right. And I mean, I'm sure you've heard just as much as I've heard really incredible songs on TikTok that have no views. Oh, yeah. And I'm like, it's not because this song isn't amazing. You just didn't get picked to go into that algorithm. And it's heartbreaking because I don't think

I don't think that way anymore. Like we post our blogs on TikTok. If they get a hundred thousand views, like we're happy. Yeah. That's how I am too. Yeah. But we're not going to just not post blogs just because they only get a hundred thousand views because that core fan base that knows us loves it.

They love it. And they want to see personality and they want to meet Steph and they want to meet Nick and see how funny Beth is. And like, you know, and so why would we just deprive them of that just because it's not hitting the For You page and going viral every single time? I love that you include your team because I'm the same exact way. I remember I sat down with my team and I was like, listen, you guys need to make Facebook pages. You need to get your Facebooks up. We're going to start, you know, I want people to get to know your personalities. And I really feel like the people that help you, it's...

And you want them to win with you, you know, and I think that's a sign of, you know, just somebody who brings their team along with them is just and I don't want to like compliment because then I sound like I'm bragging on myself. But I feel like that's a character of a good human because a lot of people don't do that. You know, they don't they want to keep their teams hidden. And, you know, we don't do that. So I think 100 percent. I mean, it would be detrimental to me.

If Beth and I weren't working together. Beth, you better never leave. I ain't going anywhere. She ain't going anywhere. Girl, I was like, I will find you. I was like, Mimi, don't ever leave me. I will hunt you down. You have no idea. No, she can't. And, you know, when Beth and I... Haley, too. Beth found me on Facebook in...

which we didn't really touch on this, but during the pandemic, all of my dive bar shows went away. And that's how I was making my money. So I would play Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, four-hour sets a night. And by Sunday, I could not even talk. Yeah, that's a lot. Yeah, it was crazy. And then we would talk, drink, hang out with everybody afterwards. And I started to gain a local following during this. Well, all of that gets shut down. All the bars closed during the pandemic. So I...

Called up my band and I was like, you guys are going to come over every Thursday and we're going to do a Facebook live session. Aw. Girl. These Facebook live sessions were paying us more. Wow. Than what we were making at our shows because I put my PayPal link up there and they were tipping us. Aw. So...

Anytime somebody would like, they'd be like $5 in PayPal and you know how you can add a little note. They'd be like strawberry wine. And I'd be like, thank you so much. Read their full name and then sing strawberry wine for them. And I mean, the tips would roll and I kept my whole band afloat and me, uh,

the whole pandemic from doing this Facebook lives, but we would have half a million people in there at once. Wow. By the, by the end of it, just because it became a thing. Like it was like, people would look forward to it. They would plan their days around people love live entertainment on their computers. Cause they don't have to go anywhere. Yeah. And they would be like, Hey, like we're so excited. We have our dinner in our, in our wine. And we're just, we have you on the TV, like watching it every Thursday. So that was really cool. And one of Beth's friends shared a Facebook live.

and was like oh this girl's awesome and so Beth checked me out and then called me and she wanted to book me as an agent and then I mean we just became best friends and like I've never met anybody who works like who matches my work ethic when's your birthday Beth 12 22 you're a Capricorn I knew it before you she even said it does that make sense with our signs Capricorn and Virgo are soulmate signs I

makes so much sense. I'm a Cap Aquarius and a Cap Rising so that's why, you know, and the Virgo too. I just, I don't stop. Oh, it makes so much sense. I mean, she was in L.A. and

I would have a couple hours on her and she would still be up. I would have to get up earlier just to make sure that I was up when she was up so that we could work together. We worked over Skype all day long. I mean, we never weren't on the phone. And we grew it together. And this is another invisible string moment. But we had our first number one, I kind of don't, on iTunes. Second one, which nobody had done yet.

in like the indie country thing. So Priscilla had her number one song on iTunes. Oh, I love Priscilla. Yeah, she's amazing. Such a sweetie pie. And then right after her came mine, and then I had put a second song out, and I was like, oh yeah, we definitely need this one to be up there too. Like pre-save, pre-save. And like nobody, we really couldn't get the attention of anybody in Nashville. They were just kind of like dusting us off because she was in LA and I was in Illinois, and like we weren't part of the, you know. Yeah. Nashville's kind of a little out.

do I dare say culty? You have to know somebody that knows somebody like you have to be accepted. They're not just going to let you in and just come, come in off the street. No, I just now have to court them. Right. 100%. I just now feel like we're getting let in the doors. And I mean, we've been, you know, five years in there. And, uh, so we went and bought a billboard with my last, actually Beth had to pay for it cause it overdrafted my account. And, um, we spent

We spent every cent on this billboard. And we put it up, all the cowboys, we put it up on Music Row. We took a picture in front of it. I shit you not, there were cranes. There are cranes in the back. And it's building my building I live in.

Oh my goodness. I love that. Yeah. That's amazing. And we were in there and I was in there, you know, with my ex and who is now her ex and, you know, and now it's, you know, us. And when I look down from my balcony, it's that billboard that I bought. Oh my goodness. I love that. That's what I mean where God is just like, yeah, and your

back where you're supposed to be. No, just showing your growth every step of the way. That's amazing. Yeah, it was incredible. And so when we started shopping for managers, Beth and I met with everybody and I sat in the car with her. We went through all of our options and I was like, I don't trust anybody like I trust you. And I know you've never managed anybody in your life, but will you please manage me? And she's like,

Let's do it. We'll see what happens, you know? That's so me and Mimi, dude. I swear to God, it's the same. We've built everything from the ground up. We've like, I don't trust anybody. I don't want anybody in my, like to hire anybody new. Mimi has to literally like, it's, it's a process. Cause we, it's, it's our baby, dude. You know, like it's so hard when you've built something so big that you're just so scared to let just anybody in.

For sure. You only want to keep the people around that you trust. That's how we are with our touring family too. Cause we're all on one bus. Yeah. So 12 people on one bus and we are literally family. We do everything together. We get our coffees together in the morning. If we're off and we're going to dinner, we go together. Like if we're going to a movie, we go together. And so when, when we're trying to figure out like who's coming into our crew, it's like they have to vibe with everybody. Otherwise it's just a deal breaker. Yeah.

I love that, though. I love that. I love how close you guys are. Tell me about Rocco. Okay, okay, sorry. I'm a talker. We'll stretch it a little bit. No, please. We'll stretch it a little bit. So tell me about Rocco. Okay, so Rocco...

And I met because I was working with a producer in Los Angeles. This producer used to be roommates with Rocco's brother. One day I... Another invisible string. I know. Isn't that insane? That's crazy. And one day, once I moved back, he calls me and he's like, hey, miss you. I used to be at this dude's house all the time. And he was like, hey, my roommate's brother is moving to Nashville.

I know that you're going back and forth to Nashville. You ever need a guitar player, hit him up. I said, you got it. A couple of weeks go by. My guitar player couldn't do a gig. I couldn't find anybody. I was like, maybe I'll see if this guy from California can do it. Called him. He paid for his own flight because I couldn't pay him like anything. Um,

But like, I think it was like a hundred dollars is all we were like getting. So he paid for his own flight and Uber and everything came. He was so prepared and he was just incredible and so talented. And then he ended up just becoming my guitar player full time from then on. And so when we were friends and friends,

He was with somebody. He had a girlfriend. I was married. We never looked at each other like that. Like he, it sounds really weird to say now, but he was like my little brother. Right. No, no, I get it. But like sometimes the best relationships come from friendships. Yeah. Like we were besties and like, I always felt a trust with him. So it was like, if I ever needed anything done, I

I always trusted that Rocco would get it done and do it right. Anyways, fast forward to my relationship fell apart and we were out on the road and we would just be hanging out and, you know, drinking and I would just fall apart. And I just one day just ended up opening up to everybody about what was going on. And he was just really an incredible friend and was really there for me during that time. And then what, maybe a year later,

We were out on tour again and I had had a crush on him, but I was only telling Beth. I didn't tell anybody else. Beth holds all the secrets. I was just like dropping little flirtatious, like whatever. And he would just be like, oh, boss is drunk. What a great guy.

though like didn't take advantage of the situation not at all yeah he actually like he like pushed me away when I came on to him he was like you are my boss no I love my job this could go so wrong we are not doing this and I was just like you'll come around she's like oh yes we are yeah just like you know because we all would drink and hang out and go to bars and stuff afterwards and I would just get more flirty and more flirty with him and and then yeah we we just ended up

It happened really, really naturally. And he is the best human I have ever had in a romantic relationship. Like, do you know what I mean when I say that I...

I became so feminine with him. Soft. Yes. That's what my husband does to me. Oh my gosh. He softened me up so much because I was the one who took care of everything financially. And if he got into trouble, I was the one to, you know, make it go away and fix everything. And, um, I just had a hard shell from that for so long. And with him, it's like,

If the guy sees my shoes untied, he will stop and tie my shoes. I'm not kidding. He is just Prince Charming in every sense of the word. And, uh... That says something about a man that can bring a woman out of, um, her masculine energy and put her into her feminine energy. He really did. Mm.

He really did. And he's been absolutely amazing. We work so well together. Everybody always asks about our working relationship on the road, but it's amazing. I'm looking at Beth and Beth's like, yeah, it's actually really good. I'm like, I think it's great. Beth, do you think it's great? Yeah. So it's, yeah, it's been the best experience.

year of my life. I love that for you because you deserve that. You deserve all the happiness that's coming. You know, you've, it's been a hard road here and I don't think people realize the journey that you've had. Cause I know I didn't realize your journey until I started researching you too. And I know that, you know, I think I've heard you say in some interviews that people look at you and they're like, Oh, it's just the Tik TOK girl, but it's not like you've done some, you've earned your stripes. Thank you. Yeah, for sure. Absolutely. What does,

20, the rest of 2024, 2025 hold for Ms. Alexandra Kay. Well, you know, every night that I'm on this tour, I'm just going out and trying to be as present as possible, take it all in, learn everything I possibly can. And I feel like it's going to be over before you know it. So I'm just really living in the moment right now. And then at the end of the year, I think you're going to be around for a while.

I do. Thank you. You have that longevity. Thank you. And I'm working on my second record right now. Yay. And...

Is this going to be a love record since you're in love? Because you do pour your feelings out on paper. Yes, but not a cheesy love record. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Because I started to write love songs at the beginning and I was like, this feels so cheesy. It doesn't feel like me at all. You know what I mean? And so I'm really excited. It's a very new sound for me and I'm stoked. What is it? Is it like country still? Yeah, it's country still, but it's...

It's a little heavier. It's like a little rock. Yeah. And it's got a lot of, a lot of pop going on in there. So I definitely kind of stepped away a little bit from my, my kind of traditional country sound and, and leaned into the pop a little bit more, but I think it's really, really cool. And, you know, I've been exploring opportunities with different labels and I'm just really excited to take that step and expand our team and,

And, you know, do all the things like as an independent artist, there are things that I haven't gotten to do. And I'm excited to, you know, sign with this partner because they're incredible and they believe in me and they believe in my music. And the deal was so fair and so, um,

right for the artist. It was so for the artist. And I'm just really, really proud that we got there. And I'm proud that I held out until we got there. Yeah. I'm excited for you. Yeah. Thank you. They were life-changing for my husband too. It was like really fair for the artists. So fair. Yeah. Which I feel like no other record labels are like that. No, I was very, you know, I was surprised. Yeah.

But really, really happy. And it makes you trust them. Yeah. You know? You can. You can trust them. They're a great team. Yeah, they're incredible. And they've been so great just in this because it's been really nice that they've been around so much for Jelly because then they've brought me into opportunities. And I'm like, I'm not even, you know, legally with them yet. Yeah. And they brought me into every radio room and introduced me to everybody. And they've been really, really amazing. So, you know, Jelly and I have talked a lot about...

I've waved my independent flag so high and how... So did he. Yeah. He did too. Yeah. But you know, the last thing that you want is for people to, you know, think you're like a sellout, right? That's the word, you know? I don't think people understand what signing a label can do. You can only do so much as an independent artist, you know, and to...

For people who call, you know, people call my husband a sellout all the time. And I'm just like, do you even know, like, how long my husband's been doing this? Right. Like, and he, my husband actually has changed the trajectory for some artists because of how he did his deal. And I don't know if I can go into details about it, but, you know, he...

has kind of been the blueprint for independent artists signing deals. I mean, he definitely helped out in my scenario, you know, and to be able to see what he was able to accomplish based on what he brought to the table kind of showed me it was a blueprint of what I could get and what was possible. Um, and so, you know, we've talked a lot about it and he's been super, super supportive and, um,

I'm just really excited for my fans to come on this journey. Everybody that wants to hear me on the radio, like we got to ink this deal. You know, so I'm excited. I'm excited. We'll tell everybody where they can find you. If they already don't follow you, you can find me Alexandra K music on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter,

TikTok, I'm on Twitter, everywhere. God, Twitter scares me. Oh, yeah, X. Yeah, whatever. That app I don't even get on because those people over there are crazy. They're ruthless. No, they're crazy. Like Facebook I can handle. Over there it's dark. I'm like, what is going on?

Thank you, Alexandra, so much. Thank you. This was such an incredible conversation, and I'm so happy that we did this. I appreciate you so much, and I can't wait to see how far you go, dude. We're rooting you on. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Dumb Blonde. I will see you guys next week. Bye.