Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Hey, welcome back to the Dunblown Podcast. What's up, you guys? Holy shit. I, uh, I didn't mean to not make an episode for such a long time. Sorry if you can hear Boo in the background because he is deciding to just meow up a storm right now for, like, no reason. Um, but, yeah. So much is going on in my life right now. The plans today to talk, I mean, they're kind of all over the place. Uh, uh,
I have a lot to say. I feel like I haven't recently, really. But a lot has been happening. A lot has been going on. I think I'm ready to tell everybody. There's a lot that I've been kind of keeping to myself publicly that I'm ready to let out into the world. And yeah.
So we're going to go ahead and get into the podcast. By the way, this is going to be season two of my podcast because it's kind of a little bit different than it was before. Because I plan on being a little bit more high energy, have a little bit more fun with this because I don't know. But anyway, let's go ahead and get into it. Okay, so here's the thing. Here's what I'm going to start with. Oh, well, okay.
So I dropped out of college. I kind of feel like a lot of people may have seen that coming, but also not really. Everybody that I've told is kind of like, what? You dropped out? I'm like, yeah. Yeah, I did. I did. And there's kind of a lot that went into it, but it was really more of, it was more of just like, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I want to do.
So I'm not going to waste a whole lot of time in college if I don't have to be in college, you know, which is also another thing about which I have to be in college to be able to have my parents help me out with life and living like monetarily, financially, which is totally OK.
I don't judge them one bit for that. That was the deal in the first place. That's kind of what I've always been told. And it was my decision to drop out. And they've been extremely supportive. They've been extremely supportive about it. I think my mom's a little bit disappointed, as is my dad.
But overall, they've just been really, really, really awesome about it. And I just don't blame them. I completely get where they're coming from in being a little bit disappointed. But I think I have it figured out what I really, really want to do because I don't know. I can't really explain the whole thing in my mind. I think just one day, it was after spring break.
It was like a week after spring break. And I was going to class and I was sitting there thinking, what am I doing, dude? I don't even, I don't even like this. I don't even like it. So why am I going? I don't even know that because I was going to school to be a history teacher. And I, first of all, what was I doing? Why was I, why was I doing history? I mean, I enjoy history. And I, I,
I don't know. I recommend that you put this on two times speed or 1.5 speed to get through this because I'm kind of, I don't know. I've been trying to speed up me talking because I feel like it's a little slow sometimes. But you can do that. You can make it go a little bit faster. But no, I, yeah, I was sitting in class one day and I was thinking that and I don't, I don't want to be a teacher anymore.
I don't know why I decided to do that. Because first of all, I don't even like school. I never really have. I've never been that great at it. I mean, I've always made good grades, but it's never been something that I've liked. Or even like homework. I think it's all stupid. I think homework is stupid. You go to school eight hours a day.
just to come home and spend even more time doing stuff for school. And then you still don't even get the weekends off when that's supposed to be your time off, which I think is completely ridiculous. And I just think school as a whole, or American school, because I know in other countries it's like a totally different thing. But American schools, I don't get it. And I started thinking, and I was kind of just like,
Why do I want to be a part of something that I kind of hate? And I was talking to other teachers, like I have family members. I have multiple family members that are teachers. And I was talking to them and they were like, are you sure this is something that you want to do? Because recently, in recent years, they, especially Texas school systems, have kind of
They kind of fuck over the teachers, to be quite honest. Like, I mean, they also mess with the students too, obviously, but I don't know. They've added so much to things that teachers have to do. And with the pandemic stuff, with having to do online school, and the teachers have never been trained for that kind of stuff. And in that, they didn't even get a pay increase.
Which I think is so dumb because it's all adding to their job and making it unnecessarily hard and they don't even really know what they're doing. Especially older generations of teachers, like they're not that great with technology anyway. So that's obviously going to be really tough for them to have to go through.
Which I'm not saying, I mean, I would be going into it with all that already being a thing. But the fact that the system already messes with teachers like that as it is, I don't know what I'm going to do when I get like 10 years down the line and something else changes and it just totally messes everything up. And plus the pay gap.
I mean, they just don't pay teachers the way that they should, especially around here. Teachers are the basis of our entire society, and they kind of get treated like garbage, and that's just something I don't agree with. So, yeah, all that kind of went into me deciding that that's not what I wanted to do. That's not what I want to do with the rest of my life.
And I don't want to go to college and like waste all of that time to just not love what I'm doing. Especially right now, because I'm in like in the good years of my life. You know what I mean? I have a whole bunch of opportunities, a lot of things that I can do and a lot of things that I can see. And there's just no point in wasting time right now, especially because we don't know where we're going to be in the next couple of years.
Um, so YOLO, I guess. I don't know. That's kind of a joke, but not really also. Um, but yeah, so that's what that's about. And I dropped, I didn't go to school for like a week. And then after I stopped going, I stopped doing homework.
And then I told my family and my family was extremely supportive of it, but they wanted me to finish out the semester. So low key, I kind of told them that I did when I didn't, which is dumb. I shouldn't have lied. Obviously, like you shouldn't lie to your family about things like that. But I didn't really see a reason to because I knew that's just college is just not for me. It's not like I'm going to go back either way. So.
I just kind of, I was also kind of going through it at that point too. I was making a lot of dumb decisions about things that, a lot of rash decisions very quickly. It all just kind of happened very fast. And so, yeah, I just, I don't know. I just decided to not go anymore. So there's that. There is that story. And I don't regret it. I really, really don't. I think college is kind of,
Kind of bullshit, honestly. Like, unless you're doing something that you absolutely have to have college for, I say it's dumb. Because my mom wanted me to finish out and just get a business degree. But why would I waste all that time just for a business degree? Because I believe in the next, like, the coming years, college really isn't going to mean anything. Anyway, I think it's going to be more based around, like, trade schools and stuff.
But I guess we'll see what happens with society on that. But if you're like me and you've decided to not go to college anymore, I just want to tell you, like, more power to you. Because when people hear that you've dropped out of college, it's like, oh, my God, she dropped out of college? She must be fucking lazy as shit.
And I don't think that's what it is. I just didn't see a point in wasting all of my time like that. And you shouldn't either. Because you'll always have the opportunity to go back if you want to. In a long time. If that's what you feel like doing. So, whatever. The plans now though. Honestly, I really don't know what they are. But...
I'm going to give you a little ad segment here and we'll get right on to what the plans are next. So what are my plans now? Well, first off, my plans are to have the summer of my freaking life, which I will be talking about after this. But plans now are after this summer to go to cosmetology school.
And that kind of scares me a lot. Not just because, I mean, it's something that I'm really interested in. I'm going to go to be an esthetician. I'm going to do like blonde. I'm hoping to specialize in doing blonde hair because I know how hard it is to find somebody that does just what you want them to and is honest with you.
about it. My mom does a great job of that. And I kind of want to, I want to add to that, you know. Also, I plan on doing like eyelashes and stuff.
You know, the eyelash extensions, the lift and tense, that kind of deal. And eventually do Botox and lip fillers, which you can do with a certificate. A lot of people think you have to have a nursing degree to do anything like that. But I did a little bit of research and that's not necessarily true. You can do Botox and lip fillers with a certificate.
And I think there's a class that you have to take to be able to do that, which obviously there should be. But yeah, so I want to do all that. I have no idea what school I'm going to yet, but I'm kind of thinking about going to one in Dallas and moving to Dallas in the fall. Either that or go to the one that's close to me here, because that one's a really good one too. And it might be better for me to just stay here, but...
I don't know. I've always been that kind of person to just want to go, go, go and find the next best thing when I'm not happy with what I'm doing. So maybe I'll maybe I'll eventually get better about that, but maybe not. Yeah, I guess that's kind of cool. But at the same time, I feel like I'm kind of playing into my own stereotype, like
Because it doesn't... That was one thing about me dropping out. I was scared that that would play into my stereotype, which is like the dumb blonde, which is the name of this podcast. And there's a reason for that. I think I've already explained that before. But basically, the first day that I walked into my anthropology class in college...
My professor told multiple dumb blonde jokes about me. I mean, I was the only blonde, semi-attractive woman in that class. That's not me. I mean, I am the stereotype. Hello. But I guess what I'm getting at is that it's just...
I don't know. He told dumb blonde jokes and that kind of made me upset. And when that made me upset, I decided, okay, I'm going to prove him wrong as best as I can. Because I don't want to be my stereotype at the time. But so I worked my ass off and I became number one.
in that class. I had the highest grades in that class and he learned to respect me for the most part. He still kind of made the jokes sometimes. And yeah, it's not really that deep. It's not that big of a deal. But me, me being underestimated is like, that's the worst thing that you can do. Because if you tell me I can't do something, I'm going to do it. Sorry, boo is just going off right now. I
But yeah, the worst thing that you can do is underestimate me because I'm going to do my absolute damnedest to prove you wrong. But I'm kind of over that. I'm done with that. I feel like the only thing that I have to do, the only thing that I have to prove, and the only person that I have to prove it to is myself. So yeah, that's kind of where I'm at now. But
Yeah, I mean, that's basically all I can really say about that. I don't really know if that's 100% what I'm going to do. But I think I'm okay with that. I'm okay with going to cosmetology school. But I do feel a little weird about playing into my stereotype. But that's okay. Stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason, I guess. I don't know.
It doesn't really matter as long as I know what I'm doing and as long as I'm happy, that's all that matters. So yeah, that's what I got there. Okay, so here's another thing that's happened recently. Uh, I quit my job. Well, I still have another job. Like I had two jobs before I did it. Um,
I think everybody knows I've been working at Altered State as long as, I mean, for a long time. I think it's been about a year. It would have been a year this month. It's very recent. I have no hard feelings towards anybody there. I still love everybody there, and I'm a little sad about it, but I think...
Honestly, the pressure and, you know, I was getting a little upset about certain things. I wasn't getting enough hours to support myself there. So I had my breaking point where I could not get off for my little sister's graduation, which, let's be real, I mean, I didn't request the day off because I completely forgot to before the two weeks was over.
like as a two weeks notice because we have to or we had to send things in two weeks before the date and as soon as I saw that I was working on that day on the schedule I started trying to find somebody to cover for me and there were a bunch of people that I had already requested off as well I know that if I would have requested off I would have gotten the day off but I didn't and that's on me don't get me wrong
That's on me. But as soon as I found out, I tried to find somebody else to cover for me, and I couldn't for the life of me. I tried my best. I think I asked every person that I knew to ask, and nobody could work that day. And it came around to that day, and I was thinking really, really hard about it, and I just didn't want to miss my sister's graduation.
I couldn't. I mean, that's a pretty important day, I think. And so I quit. I mean, I guess I'd, I don't know, that might be totally shitty of me. Maybe it is. But I think at that time, my head wasn't very straight because I was upset about other things.
at the time so I just did it and I just sent it and I was on the phone with my mom and I had already written up the text um to tell her that I wouldn't be coming in that day and I read it to my mom and she was like if that's what you want to do do it uh but be ready to not have a job anymore and I was like yeah that's kind of the point um so I I went ahead and just sent it I said fuck it and I sent it um
And you know what? I think that's okay because there's a lot of stress built around it. Everybody that I worked with there has gone through some of the worst things that have ever happened to me in my entire life. And they were all there to watch those things happen and to watch me grow into the person that I am today, which is really cool.
to say they're all beautiful people I have zero hard feelings towards any of them and I hope that that it's the same way on their end if it's not I know some of you guys listen to this so just know like I love y'all um so yeah I love you guys but on the other hand I did get a new job
and doing my first waitressing job that I've ever had. And I work at the Lake Tyler Marina, which is such a cool job. It's so much work, though. But everybody is so cool. It's right up on the lake. So I just get to spend my days right on the lake. I get to feed the ducks there. Everybody's so nice, so cool. I mean, I wouldn't say they're all nice.
They're all kind of dicks, but I love it. They're more kind of my speed. Because as much as I loved Altered State, it's a Christian-based company. And so everybody there that works there, I mean, you have to be, like, perfect all the time. You know what I mean? Like, goody two-shoes kind of situation. And, um...
Not that that's a bad thing, by any means. I knew what I was signing up for when I started working there, so that's not their fault. But I felt a little bit of pressure to be kind of perfect there all the time. And I didn't exactly love that. But now the marina, kind of more my thing. It's a lot of fun.
and everybody's super cool and the tips there are freaking ridiculous. Sunday, which is normally a pretty slow day for them, I made $350 in tips, which came out to about $30 an hour, which is ridiculous, dude. That's awesome. They'd never really seen a waitress make that much on a Sunday, which I just thought was so darn cool.
But yeah, so that's what I'll be doing all summer is spending my summer at the lake taking people's orders for food. And hopefully, I've been talking to my boss about it and she says that if I can pass the poor test, then I can be a bartender, which is something that I've been wanting to do for so long now. I think that would be so cool. And that's what I plan on working myself up to. But yeah.
There's that. So this summer, dude, this summer, I already have my summer playlist started. It's got a little bit of hers on there.
Lots of Toadies. Some Tame Impala. Some good bomb shit. The Clan McKenna. That kind of stuff. That kind of vibe. Very surfy, beachy-esque kind of deal. With a little bit of hard rock from the 90s. Loving that right now. I don't know what Boo's doing. I'm so sorry. But yeah.
That's something I'm trying to look forward to. This summer is going to be so much fun. And I hope I'm not hyping it up more than I should be. Because, I don't know, I have like one friend right now. That's a girl. I mean, best friend, Erica, if you're listening. What's up, dude? But yeah, this summer, I feel like it's going to be a good one. I'm really trying. It's the first time, first summer that I've ever been by myself.
And on my own. So I'm hoping that we can fuck some shit up. You know what I mean? It's going to be pretty good. But yeah, summer's going to be good. I'm really looking forward to it. Hopefully I can get some stories to tell you guys on here. That's kind of the plan for the rest of this podcast is...
Telling stories about what I've got going on. And what I'm doing. And where I'm going. And what's happening. I don't really know what else to say today. Other than like where this podcast is going to go. Which honestly don't expect very much from it. This is more fun for me. Because I don't really have much to talk about right now. Because I feel like.
I mean, things are just happening. And I feel like... I felt like my life is kind of going downhill. But at the same time, I know that all these things have to happen for me to become a better person. And it's scary. It's freaking terrifying. But at the same time, it's like... I know it's all happening for something really good to be coming. But yeah, needless to say, life is looking up. And I think...
Some advice that I have to give is if you feel like there's something that you need to do for yourself and you think that's the best decision for you, just do it. Because you can always go back and fix the situation if need be. But just do what you think is best for you. That's what I got for you today.
But I think I'm going to end it here. It's a little bit of a short episode today. But I hope you guys enjoyed. I hope you guys like where this podcast is going. And I love you all. And this has been Dumb Blonde. Thank you so much. Peace.