cover of episode Refresher: We Disagree Over My Husband’s Mother

Refresher: We Disagree Over My Husband’s Mother

2024/12/24
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Dr. Laura Call of the Day

People
A
Audra
D
Dr. Laura
J
Jesse
Topics
Audra: 我和婆婆的关系非常紧张,她的行为给我们的婚姻带来了巨大的混乱。她对孩子缺乏真诚的关心,反而利用孩子来控制我的丈夫。她只在方便的时候才看望孩子,并且她的新男友让我感到非常不舒服。我已经准备好和她断绝关系,为了我和孩子的幸福。 具体来说,婆婆自从有了新男友后,对我和孩子的态度就发生了很大的变化。她不送孩子礼物,也不主动看望孩子,而是利用礼物作为条件来强迫我们去看她。这种行为让我觉得她并不真心关心孩子,而是利用孩子来控制我的丈夫。 我和我的父母关系很好,他们对孩子非常关心,这让我更觉得婆婆的行为是不可接受的。她只在方便的时候才看望孩子,而且必须带着她的新男友一起,这让我感到非常不舒服。为了维护家庭的和谐,我必须和她划清界限。 Jesse: 我承认我母亲的行为确实存在问题,但我觉得我妻子有些夸大其词。我童年时和母亲的关系很好,但最近我妻子也指出了一些我之前没有注意到的问题。我母亲自从有了新男友后,行为确实发生了变化,变得冷漠疏离,对我和兄弟姐妹以及孩子们的关心都减少了。 我母亲的行为确实让我很困扰,我和我的兄弟姐妹都和她谈过,希望她能改变。我愿意尝试和她沟通,让她明白她的行为已经影响到了我们的家庭。我会和她坦诚地谈谈,让她知道如果她继续这样下去,我们将暂时停止联系,直到她恢复到以前的样子。 我明白我需要保护我的妻子和孩子,他们的幸福是我的首要任务。我会努力平衡我和母亲的关系,同时维护家庭的和谐。 Dr. Laura: Audra,你的感受是完全可以理解的。你的婆婆的行为确实给你的婚姻带来了很大的压力。Jesse,你应该直接而坦率地告诉你的母亲,她的行为已经对你的家庭造成了伤害。你需要让她明白,她需要通过行动来重新赢得你们的信任和尊重,而不是理所当然地要求你们去迁就她。 你需要明确地告诉你的母亲,她的行为已经影响到了你们的家庭关系,你们需要暂时停止联系,直到她能够改变她的行为。同时,你需要支持你的妻子,让她知道你站在她这边,并且会和她一起努力维护家庭的和谐。 记住,你的首要责任是你的妻子和孩子,你需要保护他们的幸福。你的母亲应该成为你们家庭的积极成员,而不是带来混乱和压力的因素。你需要帮助你的母亲明白这一点,并让她做出改变。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why is Audra considering cutting ties with her mother-in-law?

Audra is considering cutting ties with her mother-in-law due to the chaos it causes in her marriage. She feels her mother-in-law has no genuine interest in their children and uses them as pawns to control her husband, Jesse. Additionally, her mother-in-law only wants to see the kids when it’s convenient for her and insists on bringing her boyfriend, who makes Audra uncomfortable.

How does Jesse perceive the situation with his mother?

Jesse acknowledges some of Audra’s concerns but feels parts of her description may be exaggerated. He recognizes that his mother has changed since dating her new boyfriend, becoming less connected to him and his siblings. However, he struggles to fully confront her about her behavior, though he agrees she needs to earn the right to be involved in their family.

What specific behavior does Audra describe as manipulative from her mother-in-law?

Audra describes her mother-in-law as manipulative for withholding Christmas and birthday gifts for their children unless Jesse brings the kids to visit her. She uses the gifts as leverage to force visits, which Audra sees as a lack of genuine interest in the children.

What advice does Dr. Laura give Jesse regarding his mother?

Dr. Laura advises Jesse to be blunt with his mother about how her behavior has changed since dating her boyfriend. She suggests Jesse tell his mother that she needs to earn the right to be involved in their family and that contact will be limited until she returns to her previous self. Dr. Laura emphasizes that Jesse’s primary responsibility is to his wife and children.

How has Jesse’s mother changed since dating her new boyfriend?

Since dating her new boyfriend, Jesse’s mother has become less connected to him and his siblings, acting more like a “zombie” and less present in their lives. Jesse notes that her behavior has shifted significantly, and she no longer shows the same level of interest in their family.

Chapters
Audra is overwhelmed by the chaos caused by her mother-in-law and wants to cut ties, but her husband Jesse is hesitant. The mother-in-law's lack of genuine interest in her grandchildren and manipulative behavior are highlighted.
  • Audra wants to cut ties with her mother-in-law due to chaotic behavior.
  • Mother-in-law uses gifts and presence to manipulate Jesse.
  • Jesse is unsure if his wife's perspective is fully accurate.

Shownotes Transcript

Audra is ready to cut ties with her mother-in-law, but her husband Jesse is not ready to end it despite the chaos in their marriage.

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