QUITTER!
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This episode is brought to you by Batman Arkham Shadow, available only on MetaQuest 3 and 3S. I'm just excited to be able to use Batman's gadgets. Grapple gun. Shock glove punch the rat king. The bat versus the rat. That's going to make for some really good headlines. Become the knight. Batman Arkham Shadow is included when you buy MetaQuest 3 or 3S. Available October 22nd. Learn more at BatmanArkhamShadow.com.

Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractible.

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Yes! It's time for... Quitter!

Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Distracted Alive. I'm today's host, Wade. Why? Because I won the last episode. Welcome to the show where one of us hosts, the other two compete for points on whatever game the host wants to play. The winner who usually has to have the most points at the end will host the next episode. And as always, my two co-hosts.

Mark and Bob are here. Hello. Hello. I don't know why, but I thought you were going to say the winner usually is Bob. He's been on a roll lately. You know, it just feels good. They're really killing it.

I don't know if we should disagree to that. That doesn't seem quite right. Nah, that's how it is. It's true. Confidence right there. He's just already proclaiming himself the winner. Yeah, well, I just figured. All right. Well, welcome to the show where the winner is usually Bob. Thank you. And Mark and I are also here. Well, all right. You know what? I'm not going to fight it. It's very gracious of you guys to participate in the show that I win so much. I appreciate that. Yeah. Well, what about...

This is the least confident way I could ever say anything ever. Well, what about this? What about this? Oh, what the, what the shit? I don't know. I just saw this online. Oh no. For anyone listening, you're not missing out on much. It's a poster in Japan, I believe. And there's a baby saying something in Japanese, but it has received a lot of direct sunlight for a very long time.

But the way that it has kind of burned the image just feels like this baby is slowly shifting into a horrifying demon baby. A little bit. I like that it appears in the third version where it's the most demon-y. The text is still perfectly bright red and crisp. Like someone came and was like, oh, I'll just repaint over this text to make sure they can still read our sign. Yeah.

It's really something. I thought the sun would wash the image a little bit, not give them like goth makeup. The things that are dark are the eyes and the mouth because the mouth is open. It looks like the dark ink is bleeding for whatever reason. Maybe it gets a lot of rain and sun or something. Yeah. Anyway, that's got to be worth some points, right? I'll mark something. All right. I'll listen to the strokes and hear how many points I'm getting.

Zero points is what I heard. I didn't hear anything, yeah. I got the world's most quiet pen. Can you write louder? Ker-chink, ker-chink. Oh, that was like five. I'm

I'm not worried. I usually win these. Is that the episode? Are we just putting, are we sharing pictures? Because I can probably find some stuff. Whatever you all want, I guess. This is just the opening mall talky bit. How are you guys while you're looking up pictures of something? Good. I have a sad story if I want to pile on to my winning streak. So far we have confidence. We have horror. We have despair. What else you got? I got a true story for sad. Well. Those are always sad.

Can I tell it? I don't know if I have permission. Well... Yes, you have permission. Okay, all right. So yesterday, Chica went outside...

And she was really sniffing around this. We were throwing out a weighted blanket. It was not a very good weighted blanket. So the weights inside kind of shifted and it's terrible. So we're throwing it out. And so she was really interested in something in this blanket. And we're like, did a mouse get in there or something? Is there like a rat trapped in there? So I go over there and I shoo her away and I take a look and I just peer around.

I see a little fuzzy tail, tiny. And I look and it's like, ah, no, there's a dead, it wasn't a squirrel. It was smaller than that. It was like a chipmunk with a long tail or like maybe a small squirrel. So,

So I go inside. I try to find something. I'm going to dispose of the body, get Chica inside. I go back out there. It's still breathing. I get close and I look and it's still breathing. I sit there and I look at it for a very long time and it's barely moving, barely moving, but I can see that it's breathing. And I was almost like, oh man, should I put it out of its misery? And it gave out this tiny little squeak.

Like the tiniest, littlest, iddiest, biggest squeak. And I went, holy shit. So I get it up off the ground. I don't know if it's like sick or something or anything like that. So I'm trying to be careful. You know, I pick it up with like a piece of cardboard. I put it in a thing with like some blankets being like, maybe it's cold. Maybe like, because it wasn't too hot last night, but it was colder. It was on the ground. And maybe it got like stuck under the weighted blanket somehow. Like it was trying to find, you know, a burrow. It fell on top of it. I don't know what happened.

I get it in there and it's like, it's there and like, does it need water or something? So I take a little, little straw and I, I, I dab at the tiniest drop of water, like right here on its lip. I don't know if this is the right thing to do, but I'm like, if it was exhausted all night, it responded to it. It was, it didn't seem like it was dying, but it almost like reached up as if it was like, Oh, fucking water. And so I gave it a few more and,

And it started to recover. And this, this Shemung looked old. Like it had really a lot of gray in the rest of its fur, big white stripes across his face. It doesn't necessarily mean anything. Sure. For sure. For sure. But for like a outdoor animal, it did look like it was probably aged a bit. So I kept giving it water.

I wrapped it up in a little blanket and tried to like keep it warm. And it started to like recover more and more to the point where it saw me and went, oh, what the fuck? And so I left it alone for a bit. I put it outside of a window where I could see it. And I just kept watching and I gave it some more water. I eventually gave it a little dish and tried to put some some seeds out there. I brought it inside because there were some gardeners coming and they were going to, you know, leaf blowers and all that. I didn't want that to to.

to bother it. And so it was inside and it actually got to the point where it was like, it looked like it was trying to like get comfortable in the blankets. Like it was, it was uncomfortable. So I was like, Oh, that's okay. I tried to leave it as long as much as I can. And I stepped away for five minutes and I came back and, uh,

In that time, like, like just in that time, it passed away. Like I missed it by that much. Oh, and I was, I was really, really broken up about it because, and not that I didn't expect it. It was just like, ah, man, it was probably on its last leg anyway, you know, old and exhausted. It was, it was super weird because it recovered enough to the point where it freaked out at first to me. And then I was like trying to like take care of it a little more. I wasn't giving any more water at that point. I was like, if it wants water, there's a dish. It can kind of crawl around a little bit.

But yeah, it just like stepped away and I came back and it was, you know, just at some point there. I didn't know chipmunk CPR, so I didn't try that or anything, but I just had hoped that it was comfortable. It was just a weird little little moment to connect with nature a little bit. So, yeah, it's weird how quickly I went from like, oh, no, a dead animal to like, holy shit.

I guess I'll try, you know, but who knows what you can do. Yeah, I had a pet mice for a while. I think I told the story about the female mouse. I watched her pass away and it was something similar where she got to a point where I was watching, she could barely move and she was like making this little like whine noise and then she's kind of like collapsed. It was very sad. I mean, what can you do? You tried, which is nice.

But ultimately, at least it wasn't on the cold, hard ground trapped under a weighted blanket, you know, or being eaten by a dog. Yeah, I mean, Chica was like excitedly looking at sniffing close. I don't think that she did anything to it because it didn't seem like it had, you know, it didn't seem like it had a broken bone or anything like that. It just seemed like it had been fighting a weighted blanket and got exhausted. So I feel partially responsible to like dump it the way to blanket there to not.

doing something but I guess you know all I said you know after I did a little burial you know Amy got some flowers and we actually buried it outside and put some flowers over it and I was just like I hope you hope you were at least comfortable I'm sure you did great many chipmunk things and dust to dust earth to earth plop threw some dirt on it gave it the weighted blanket yeah I figured it like that

Buried in the weighted blanket that killed it. It's like the hamster I buried in the shoebox that killed it. This is a very sweet moment. It took like six hours out of my morning, but I don't know. It seemed worth it. That's nice. I'll give you a made chipmunk comfortable point. Oh, thanks. I think it was a chipmunk. It might have just been like a very small. Well, did it look like Alvin or? Yeah, except, you know, it had a long. Oh, yeah. No, a Townsend's chipmunk. That's exactly what it was. Did you tell Townsend what happened? Huh?

maybe you killed Townsend's chipmunk. I might've, you know, guys. Oh yeah. Maybe, uh, maybe actually, you know, it might not have been old. I see these, the picture of these specific chipmunks, which is what it looked like. It does have big white stripes, so maybe, maybe it wasn't as old. Oh no, no. It, some of these other ones have like not as much white, like across her head. This one's whole head also was like all half gray. So who knows? Or maybe not. I don't know. Well,

Well, it either was or wasn't a chipmunk and it was or wasn't old. No, it was chipmunk for sure. And now it is or isn't dead. So it was buried alive or dead. No, I made sure. I mean, I saw it when it was. No, not like that. Are you a dead little guy? No, I mean, I saw it when it was almost dead at first and then it recovered. And then literally by the time I came back, it was very clear it had passed.

That's fair. So who knows? Maybe it wasn't old at all. Bob, you throw anything away that killed the innocent creatures like the plastic on six packs of cans or anything like that? Oh, I love I take those rings off cans and stuff and I just I hurl them joyously into the nature just because I know something's going to get stuck in there. You ever see turtles swimming around with the big plastic rings around their one leg in their neck?

That was me, baby. That whole time Mark was telling that story, I was trying to come up with a joke about like, oh yeah, I found a baby next to my trash can. A human baby. I couldn't. I think it's probably good that you didn't. So we got some flowers and dug a hole.

I found a guy face down. He's been in his 60s, maybe. I don't know. He looked kind of old. And before anyone gets on my case, yes, I wash my hands a lot. No, I didn't handle it directly, you know, in case it was sick or something. I took precautions, but also at the same time, I was just like, it's just a cute little guy or girl or whatever. Looks up, just frothing foam at the mouth. Oh.

I don't know what I would have done, but we did have that one time where there was a possum. I think it was a relatively young or a baby possum we found in our yard. Lexi found in our yard in California. It was already dead because it had been like a cold, rainy night. And I don't know what happened, but it had some kind of injury. Something happened. And I don't think it was Lexi because she's scared of everything. But if it had been alive, I don't know what I would have done because possums scare me.

Chipmunk not so scary, but still like, yeah, you don't want to touch it too much. You don't know if it's how healthy it is or whatever. But I don't know, man. That's very brave. Hopefully he had a nice end of life. I hope so. You know, honestly, it didn't look that uncomfortable. You know, it didn't freak out too much. I wasn't around it all the time because I didn't want just to look up and see just, are you OK, little buddy? Are you all right? You know, I didn't want to do that. But yeah, yeah, I guess I hope at least warm, you know.

That's all I can hope for. Heck, maybe I drowned it trying to give it a little water. Who knows? Go inside. How to take care of chipmunk. Never give water. Chipmunks don't drink water. It kills them. I did not drip into its mouth. I literally touched the tiniest drop of water to its lip. That's all I did.

I got a washcloth and I soaked it in water, put it over its face, and then I got a water drip to make sure the washcloth didn't run out. Yeah, no, I didn't want to handle it too much, so I took two little strings and tied it to his back legs and sort of suspended him upside down over a slab. Ha ha ha!

But I wanted him to have enough fresh water so he had to have a kind of drip going on, you know? Yeah, I ran the water down the string and it kind of ran over it. And so I figured it would get to its mouth eventually. And also, it's like a shower, so, you know. I figured if half of them was underwater and the other half was on fire, they'd balance out. That's one normal chipmunk. Too far, man. Have you guys seen the meme about...

the instructions. It's like a person looking at an electronic thing and there's a voice that's like, all right, you should have found a black cable plugged into the back. And the person is like, ah, and like unplugs it. And the instruction is like, never unplug the black cable. And they're like, ah, shit. And they plug it back in and the instruction's like, if you already have unplugged the black cable, never plug it back in. I didn't see that coming.

I don't know why. That just reminded me. I guess the instructions. That's me. That's fair. No, you shouldn't light it on fire, but if you want to make sure it's warm while it's drinking water, you boil the water before you give it some. Make sure it's nice and hot. Yeah. Honestly, I'm shocked I even noticed that it was still breathing because it looked like...

It was just eyes open. An ant was crawling over its eyeball. I was like, oh, this thing's dead. But then I saw it breathing. I was like, holy shit. So the fact that it even like got back up a little bit after all was like miraculous to me. Grabbed you by the collar, but just like...

I need your help. You need to kill me. Anyway, that's it. Well, I don't have any stories that rival that. I have a normal life. That's a normal life. That's normal, I think. That's like some Disney main character shit right there. Well, do you have any Disney side character shit? I'm secretly in love with one of my best friends.

Well, okay. All right, go on. Let me get some tea. Hold on. Go on. Which one of us is it, Mark or me? I don't know. I couldn't think of any Disney side character stuff. I said best friends. Oh, well, this will make everyone sad. If we're telling sad stories, this will make five people sad. I'm selling the Subaru.

I've talked about it a lot. I know I've done a lot of things and there were some people who were really excited about it selling the Subaru. I'm putting it back to stock, which is an unbelievable pain in the ass, and I'm selling it. Sorry, everybody. Say bye to the Subaru. He go bye bye. You have to get it back to stock. I don't have to. But the thing about modifying cars is like some dealerships won't touch a modified car, even if it's purely aesthetic stuff, because they don't trust.

Trust you. Well, I have a dealer who will buy it for a decent price. But all the money I spent on all that stuff is worth way more than the price they're giving me for the car because they're essentially paying me like it's just a stock, whatever. And I paid for all these extra little bits. If I take them off and sell them myself, I can recoup more of the cost of it than if I sell all the bits still attached to the car. But that takes effort. Yeah, it's a pain in the ass because I got to take off

the bumper off. I got to take some stuff out of the wheel wells. There's just a lot of stuff of like, it's not hard, but it's like, it's one of those things where the bumper especially doesn't go back on very easily. And it's not because it's not designed well, it's just like the nature of a thing that,

stays on a car when it's going highway speeds and bumps and everything you have to get it slotted and there's a part where there's you have to get a thing inside of two other things but the both of the two things are floppy so you have to like line it up and get really lucky it slides in right and all that sort of shit just like car stuff not that bad but it's like

rolling around on the floor of the garage wrestling with floppy plastic parts trying to get them all back together yeah the thing I hate the most is disassembling something usually I do it after it doesn't work so it's even more frustrating but yeah the disassembly is super annoying I

I've not developed good habits at that. I've done this every time I've done a car project where I have to take it apart. I get really excited and I get everything in order and I have all the tools and everything I need. And then I'll just like, all right, I need to take this part off. And I just end up with a pile of random bullshit. And then when I go to put it back together, I'm like...

Man, I wish I had taken a picture of that or put things in organized piles or I'm holding pieces on my car like, does this screw fit? No. Does this plastic piece? No. We'll see. We'll get it. Sure, I got a bunch of shit all mixed up in my trim pieces, but it's fine. It looks right. It's about right.

probably fine. Yeah. In a similar vein, I dug out a PlayStation 2 over the weekend and we had a friend in town staying with us and she took the whole thing apart because like I had memory cards in it that were the plastic over the years, I guess, has weakened. It was just like crackling and falling apart in there. It went from working to not working. And she's like, well, I actually restore these just as like a hobby of my free time so I can take a look. So we took apart like an old PlayStation 2 and I watched all the

of that get removed and put back together and like a little i didn't know they had those little like um what those little round batteries called like you put like a watch battery type stuff flat flat disc battery yeah yeah those so i didn't know those had playstations had those in there lots of electronics have those in them coin batteries i think that's a coin battery yeah

I don't know much about it all, but it was neat watching that take it apart and put back together. Yeah, they've had those for a bit. I mean, old alkaline batteries, you know, that tech goes back a long time. They're not good, you know, but they still work. Haven't you ever heard of original like Pokemon red and blue cartridges coming unusable? Because when the little disk battery that's in there croaks, it stops keeping time. And so every time you boot it up, it thinks it's like...

It just came into existence and it ruins your save file and stuff. Yeah, but you can replace those too. My sister and ex-boyfriend who helped me do that with like Pokemon Gold and Silver because there was a night-day cycle. So we literally popped it open and replaced the battery and stuff. Oh yeah, it's easy.

We have to kind of like soldered in there or something. So we had to it wasn't just like a simple pop out pop in. There was something else. I remember. Right. But that's been 20 years ago, probably. I don't like talking about how long ago things were because I'm like, yeah, I mean, I was in high school. So I had to be like five years and 10. You want to feel really depressed? What year did you start sixth grade? Well, that's easy. That's the year my dad died. 2000. Oh, well, that's easy to remember.

That's lucky. Yeah. He died a week before school started. So it's like, oh, dude, that's the easiest question you could ask. Sixth grade. I didn't even know that. What a great way to remember that so vividly. Anyway, that's 24 years ago.

You could have been born then and you could still drink alcohol. Thanks, man. We're getting older. I don't know if you guys have heard. We are closer to 50 now than we are to 18. I could say closer to death. I mean, technically, yeah. We're closer to death now than we are to 18. I hope not.

I hope we get a little bit more than that. I mean, time will tell, I guess. I don't know. I hope that's not an ominous prediction. Yeah, we're 15. Because at 34, I was like, okay, 16 years ago, 18, 16 years from now, 50, that's nuts. Now it's like, ah, we're closer to the big mound. 50, the big mound? The big mound, yes. Big mound! They call it pounding the mound, you know, when you hit 50. Yeah.

I'm about to pound the mound, guys. The cougar approached me in a barlint. I was like, hey, would you like to pound the mound?

I'm only 40. What are you doing? Remember when that was old dust, man? That wasn't that long ago. We're like 40. Ugh. I'm only like 32. Get away from me, you skeleton. It doesn't bother me. I have no issues with it. Yeah, I've never thought that about people. People are weird about age, to be honest. I don't care either. I don't like looking like I'm 45 or 50, but I don't care about people's ages. My main concern is feeling old. I am...

I mean, I don't know if you can tell. I'm a little overweight. Not in good shape. It really catches up to you. I regret that very deeply. Well, I mean, there's no time like the present to start, I guess. Yeah, it's hard, though. I don't know.

I'll do it tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, you're right. It's hard. I'm not doing it either. Yeah, my one day a week I was going to exercise was Tuesday, right when we recorded this podcast. I was like, ah, it could not possibly fit my schedule. It's the only day of the week I had available. I've got sit on couch on Wednesday, Thursday. Can't beat sit on couch. Sit on couch Wednesday, you know? I stopped worrying, um...

especially about getting older for a while ago, but you know, stop, stop worrying about what other people think about getting older. Because I remember many years ago, I think I was like 27. Many years ago. It was. Yeah. It's a while ago, but sorry to tell you, but I was at some YouTube event or something. And I think Tyler was there too. So I might've told the story, but some other YouTuber was like, Hey, we're talking. And there is in minus. And eventually she asked like, wait, how old are you guys? And I think it was like 27 or 28 or whatever it was. And then she just looks at both of us and goes like,

you're so old and i go all right i think i think at the time she was like 20 or 21 which i totally understand when you're that age like as soon as you're about to hit 30 that's ancient ancient ancient but then perspective changes so at that point i was like oh okay well if i've already pounded the mound i might as well just like embrace it and you know i'm now post mound so yeah

Yeah, you not worrying about age makes sense because you're the reason I feel old because you still look like you're 25, 27. Meanwhile, man, the last five years, when I had... I went from hair, solid brown beard to full Crypt Keeper. If you just find...

that long lost son that you didn't know you had and drank his blood i thought about having a kid just to drink their blood molly's like we're not having kids you can suck their blood you sicko why don't you explain to her that you would not be sucking it directly out of them that it'd be more of like a harvest it and then consume it later elsewhere type of arrangement or yeah i even said let's do two so that way i can like alternate each day

That way they get a chance to get some new back. Or you could do two and you could have a real kid and an organs kid. You could have like a beer hat. Yeah. One in each of these and just two straws going right into your veins. It's like I go to the football game instead of the hat with the two beers. I got the hat with the two babies. Yeah.

That's why I said beer hat. Oh, I didn't hear the beer hat. That's the main crux of everything he just said. Hey, it's like that thing you said, but I'll say it louder. Man, wait, I can't believe you just had that idea. What inspired it? I just saw one of those at the Ren Faire. Not with babies, but man, they had those hats there. I should have gotten one. They had beer hats at the Ren Faire? Oh, yeah. They had like the Viking hat with the horns, but like the horns weren't full so you could sit beers in them. Ah.

Ah, I see. Because it was Viking weekend. Sure. That makes sense. I have nothing else to say about that. All right. Did you dress up? No. Oh. But Molly and our friend did. Well, why didn't you? That's the main reason I've never been to a Ren Faire is I don't have a costume and I wouldn't want to be the one nerd who's there not dressed up to go to the Ren Faire. Well, there's a lot of people that don't dress up, so you'd be fine. So they had costumes, but I didn't have like a matching one. And I was like, well, I do have like my...

darth revan cosplay you're a han solo jacket well i've got that but i've got a full like 1300 darth revan cosplay that's pretty intricate but the problem with it is the jedi robe part hangs low enough where i was like that's gonna drag the ground and get all messy the mask has like this one slit that like the revan mask has that you can barely see out of

And it's very fucking hot and solid black. It was 82 degrees, like 100% humidity. So I was like, wearing all black that's gonna get all dirty, not being able to see while melting inside this thing. Sounds fucking terrible. People that do that kind of stuff, props. There was a guy in like full metal armor walking around that was like, or at least it looked metal. Like it was very well done if it wasn't. Because it looked...

very real. I mean, I'm sure it was probably easier to just make a metal one than fake that. That dude props because he had to have been dying because we were wearing like I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt and I was like, it's so fucking hot today. People that were cosplaying like props to you.

Couldn't do it. I wanted to be comfy. I got used to heat being in that warehouse. And I think people misunderstood when I said like, oh man, it was so hot in Texas this time. It's only 95. We can go to 100 something. Did you miss the part where I was in an unconditioned, un-air-conditioned warehouse with metal walls and the sun beating down on it? I can't tell you how much of that filming process. I was naked. Like, I just, I really hope there isn't like an errant reflection somewhere in a pickup shot I was making.

When the movie comes out, everybody look at every reflective surface.

editors could you put some clothes on me for this scene god i did get used to it after a while that that is the strange thing i got okay with it i was still sweating like hell but it was just like i weirdly didn't get bothered by it which i never thought would happen do that in the wog suit and then let's talk i don't know if i could do that we tried to keep you cool it was a desperate attempt that's true the first one the first day that was wild how fast that escalated temperature wise dude that pirate costume from heist

oh man that was death and pam i wonder what she would say about her costume reflecting back hey i had to go outside to get craft services so and it was hot out guys

I stripped down a t-shirt and shorts to go out there. It was still hot. I know what it's like. He's lying. Craft Services on Space was inside in an air-conditioned room. No, no, the lunch. The lunch thing that was outside. Oh, the lunch where you step outside to go get it and then come back inside? There was a line. What?

We all aren't king of the production and have our lunch brought to us indoors. Okay. I had to go pick my own. We ate outside one day and one of the guys work. I forget which guy it was, was sitting and eating, but I'm pretty sure his foot was on like a red ant hill.

the fire ants were chewing on his ankle. You remember that? No. What? I remember you telling me that story. I didn't, I didn't see that happen. Mark. I thought, remember that cause we were sitting outside chatting and one of the guys that was working was like, started shaking his leg. And then like, he looked down, he had a bunch of fire ants all over his foot. I don't remember that at all. He was like, I think I'm done eating. And then we all were kind of like, yeah, us too. We're here and back inside. Oh,

it's all blur to me we've all lived through heat guys so okay after that show i discovered they make this thing called cold shirt or something like that with like water cooling through it where pam could have been super comfortable the entire time so could you during your warehouse instead you're like jim carrey and the rhinoceros trying to make your movie i thought about that more than once in the middle of it i really did the

The door to the warehouse doesn't open, so you crawl out a tiny hole. People look over. There's a naked man falling out of a warehouse holding a camera. Well, that actually is funny because the door didn't close properly, but Phil had giant magnets, right? So big, powerful neodymium magnets. And there were three of them that kept the door closed. When they're in place, that door is really hard to open because it's a full metal door. So if I was like heat exhaustion, and I tried to open it, I don't think I could have opened it. I couldn't.

I might have done. Oh yeah, I'm hosting an episode. I thought we were just chatting and I forgot. Everyone got so many points and we definitely have tons of time for everything I've got.

Oh, hey, everyone. Welcome back to Wade, Mark, and Bob. Just talked for a while. Did we just have a commercial break? I hope so. Otherwise, that was real confusing. Was it? Because I totally was just chatting with y'all and I kind of forgot I was supposed to be the host today. It's whatever. It's what we do here, kind of. Usually the host has something. Any other final comments before I definitely properly segue into a topic? Beep, beep, boop, boop. Great.

Today, we're going to talk about some things we- Very philosophical. What? Very philosophical. Wade will love that. Pee-pee poo-poo can be. Like, what- Never mind. Listen, not all pee-pees are poo-poos, but all poo-poos are pee-pees.

I'll leave that to Reddit to discuss. Let's talk about the things that we didn't do in life, like opportunities we maybe didn't take. For example, I took my law school admission test, did pretty well, never applied to law school. Different sports, different activities, just things that we were on a path for or were doing in life that we kind of walked away from. Don't necessarily have to regret it or anything. It's just one of those things where it's kind of like contemplating the what-ifs that we never contemplate.

Didn't we do this? We've done like a what if episode, but this is more. His last one was try new things. And it was like things that you tried that you liked, surprised, they were surprised you liked or whatever. It's kind of like the inverse of that. But I thought in that episode, didn't we do the inverse of that? Things you liked, the things you tried, you liked things you tried, you didn't like. This is just things you were doing in life. Whether you liked it or not, you were doing it.

In second grade, my mom put me into basketball. I was playing basketball for a while. I ultimately ended up liking it, which was cool. I was in a bowling league at one point. Didn't really care to continue that, but... Bowling league? Yeah, like first grade, there was like a bowling league. And like my cousin and I were in like this bowling league where we were just going...

Oh, we were young, so they had like the gutter guards and stuff up, but we were just going all and it was cool, I guess, but never really stuck with it. This is more so just things that we used to do that we don't do now. So you're looking for stuff that we failed at or gave up on or just moved on front, like not even necessarily like intentionally, just something like used to fail that. Got it. Yeah, got it. OK, I get the assignment. I kind of did this, but I really quit right before I really lived the life.

It feels weird that I was almost a musician because that feels like an entire other life now. I was very nearly, I was in college, I was studying music, I was in a band. We were almost on America's Got Talent. This close. We got called by one of their producers and then we just didn't make it because they had two bands and they picked the other band for the episode we were going to be on. But we won Cincinnati Area Music Awards.

I played live on stage with Foxy Shazam. Lead singer is Eric Nally. Foxy Shazam. The guy who sang the vocal track for Macklemore's Downtown. The guy who goes, Downtown!

He's got like a really, really high voice. Eric Nally. He's from Cincy, I think. But the band Foxy Shazam is a Cincy band. That is his band that he was the front man for. I did all this cool stuff and then I moved away and went to law school and never played another note of music in my entire life. Well, at least you made the right choice. Law school. And then I graduated law school and never used a law degree in my entire life. I never gave up on anything ever.

I believe it. What's your bachelor's in? Hmm? Your bachelor's degree? Don't have it. Can't give up if you didn't get it. Weren't you a quarter away from getting it? Anyway, what else, man? Come on. He didn't give up. He finished. He just didn't earn the bachelor's degree when he finished. He just finished and was done. He got to his finish line, not their arbitrary one. Yeah, just because I was done and they weren't done with me doesn't mean that. Alternatively, I had like unfinished business written as like the thing to talk about. I had a friend in...

Middle school, I believe. John Fletcher. You know a John Fletcher? Yeah. Yeah, I remember him. Yeah. Yeah. So his... I believe his mother was deaf. So he knew sign language, right? And so I was like...

I'm gonna learn sign language. That's so cool. That's awesome. I want to learn it. And so I took a, there was a class in middle school for some reason. It was like a very small class, but something like that. Seriously. I took John. Took him. And I was like, teach me. You're gonna stay in my basement. You're gonna teach me. Oh, no one's gonna hear your cries for help. I have this weighted blanket in a box. You can sit. It's very comfortable. Now teach. Want some water? No.

Anyway, the only sign that I still remember to this day is slow down because he could, he would always sign way too fast. I was trying to, and it's like, I couldn't even understand the rest of the signs. I was just like, just like fifth or sixth grade. Yeah.

I don't know. That's like all I learned was like the alphabet. A, B, C, D, E. No, that's not right. I don't remember. You probably just said something terribly offensive to everyone right now in sign language. God, I hope so. But I've wanted to learn it ever since. I've never really given up the goal of wanting to learn it. I do. But at the same time, it's like, oh, man, there's a lot. There's a lot of learning. There's a lot of a lot of hand signals. So, yeah.

I've, uh, I gave up on that. I wish I'd taken Spanish more. I took like four and a half years of it and I felt pretty comfortable. I still like listening. Like I was very slow at listening comprehension. I could speak it. Okay. Like I probably sounded like a first grader, but like, I felt like I at least could say coherent sentences.

Reading and writing to this day, I can figure it out. Usually I'm like, oh, this I don't know this verb. But otherwise, this seems like the context. I kind of put it together. But like speaking and listening never felt very strong. I told you guys about the convention where I was telling the lady like we needed a moment to change shirts. And what she thought I was saying was to fold all of our dirty laundry. Yeah.

And I imagine that being like eight years ago now, it's only worse my skill level now. But I kind of wish I'd stuck with it and kept practicing and learning because I enjoyed speaking. I enjoyed Spanish. But yeah, sign language, Spanish, like I think another language. Are you still doing Korean? Are you still learning Korean? I haven't had a chance to actually study for about a year since I did this movie. I haven't had any time.

But I haven't given up on it. That is something I'm going to pick up relatively soon here, now that I have some free time. Losing out on a year of it, I hope I haven't lost anything else. But I've watched TV shows and I'm still basically at the same level of comprehension I was. Well, they had six updates, so it's a completely different language now. Oh, no. The DLC came out. I'm never going to catch up. Do they have like a pay-to-win package in it, please? Yeah, yeah. You can remove ads. Oh.

They have a season pass. I was actually only a couple of classes away from having a minor in German in college. I was like really into German. I started German in middle school and I studied it all the way through like the middle of college. I guess it was when I switched out of music and stuff, too. I was like, I give up on everything and just switch majors. I wish I had sort of stuck with German more because it's I don't.

remember very much of it now but it was fun i was like reading german well really basic stuff but like german literature was one of the next classes i was going to take i was kind of interested in that just gave up yeah i know i i in college freshman year actually i i took spanish in high school but i was like i'm gonna learn french yeah i'm gonna do that so i went to the college bookstore and i was like do you have a french book he's like yeah i'm

Can I have it? Are you taking the class? And I was like, no. He's like, all right, that'll be $200. And at that point, I was so embarrassed. I was like, I'll take it. Lay down my debit card that I know I don't have $200 on or whatever. I don't know how I paid for it. I got it eventually. I think I used my grant money for it or something like that. Isn't pride the fucking worst, man? Pride gets in the way so many times. You're like, shouldn't do this, but man, I can't look weak. Yeah.

and I took it back to the dorm room. I think I cracked it open once, looked at like the first few pages. It was like,

Well, this is hard. Slam. I didn't even return the book. I didn't even, like... Because, you know, you sell back to the college bookstore, they're going to give you, like, two cents for the book you just paid $200 for. It's like, oh, well. Dude, oh my god. At law school, you accumulate a lot of books. So from my undergrad, I didn't end up with that many books. But from law school, I ended up with a shitload of books. Like, a trunk full of books. I sold them when I was done. By the pound. Yeah.

They didn't give a shit. I was basically selling them paper. They didn't care. I sold thousands of dollars worth of law books for like a hundred bucks or something. Cause it was just, it was a heavy amount of paper. Like, man, if I didn't have to move cross country, I might've just kept them just cause it's like, well, I might need this. I don't know. A treatise on tort law. I might crack that. I don't know.

I have a slip and fall. Maybe I'll need some knowledge. I don't know. I still have all my engineering books back at my mom's house. They're sitting in a corner, you know. I crack them open and I'll be like, did I ever read this? Like, I look at it like, what? You're going to open an important class book and it's just like, never been opened? Like, oh, I see where my problem was. Why is it sticky? Why is it sticky?

Man, I really enjoyed this back in the day. I remember. I liked that class a lot. Makes a lot of sense. Actually, there was a time when I opened the book, most of the time I was like, when did I read this? But one time I turned a page and I saw a diagram, like an engineering diagram of weights and pulleys and levers and trying to figure out forces and angles. And I look at it and I have this deja vu. And I think on it a while and I realize, this is what that class was talking about. Oh, if I'd have seen this diagram, it would have made so much fucking sense. Yeah.

Because I never really went home and did what I was, the assignments. I just, I just cram studied for tests and that's how I got through college. And God, if I'd actually tried. Did you ever have one of those used books where the person before you like wrote notes and stuff in them? I had a person who clearly was trying, but like their notes were things like, dude, dot, dot, dot. Guy really likes to hear himself talk. Hmm.

I don't even know what they were trying to say here with a circle and a line. It's like they were talking to me in the future. Like at the time, they were like someone else. I'm going to help him out here, dude. You know, notes never really made sense to me because I always would look at the book and be like, if I can't understand what the book's explaining in a few paragraphs, huh?

how am I going to translate it into a couple sentences that I do understand? I was always trying to take notes, but I would just write down what the professor said. But when I did that, I wouldn't actually hear what he said. So I'd write it down and I'd never read my notes. So just like, I was just a, I was just a stenographer. Just like, yes, this is a transcription of this class.

someday this will help somebody. Law school is so funny. I swear no one has learned anything new in law school for like a couple decades because the way it works is for a class, like for a semester's class, you would make like an outline at the end

where it's like, this is what's going to be on the test. This is an outline. These are all the cases we covered. Here's like the question. Here's the holding of the case. Here's the important details, whatever. And so the outline is like what you study for the exam. And I did make some outlines, but I learned after the first semester that if you just buy your books from the people who are a year ahead of you, as long as you buy it from the person who took that class, you're taking from the same professor that you're taking, they come with everything. Like,

You usually be like, hey, can I buy that book for his criminal class off you? And also, do you have an outline for it? And they didn't make the outline. They got the outline handed down to them from the class above them. Six generations outline. Yeah, I had books where like every page was fully annotated. They might as well just like

crossed all this out like you don't need to know this here's the one sentence on this page this is very important and then an outline that it basically said the same thing but like law school is so funny because everyone is obsessed with that shit and there's like websites you can go and you're like i need an outline for for crim law for north carolina and their websites oh for eight dollars give you a full outline of north carolina crim law crim law one so it gets you through your exam

But paying for it's stupid because if you just buy books from people, they're so happy you bought their book for more than $2 that they'll just happily share whatever they have with you anyway. But it's a weird ecosystem. You get like the back of the book notes, but it's literally exact because professors rarely change their curriculum. And it's just like you get a list of all the answers. You can go to class without having read the thing and sit there with your outline from the

other person and the professor is like and who could tell me this and you're just like i'll just read i'll read the answer i've got it right here sir the steward got that wrong the same way last year it's so weird why does everyone think that's the holding in this case are you all reading the same outline did you ever have those professors that insisted you buy their book oh yeah i always love that it's like man i'm paying a tuition so you get paid and then i'll buy your book on top of it

There's a guy in CCM, the Conservatory of Music at UC, who he wrote a very popular music theory book, but it's not like the only one anyone uses. But you had to buy his book because he was the professor of music theory and it was a whole. Yeah, I took a philosophy of mind and body. And I'm not going to lie. It was the one philosophy class that was like over my head and I just could not quite figure out what the hell was going on.

But the professor had us buy his book. And so in our final paper, we didn't have a final exam. We had a final paper. The final paper, I was like, I have no idea what the hell I'm supposed to be writing. So I'm just going to flip through here, find some quotes that he said that sound like they're close to the topic. And I'll reference him. And he loved that. Yeah.

Yeah. Half of my paper was quotes from him with annotations or whatever. So like I had to write like three pages. About two of the three pages were his words in quotes. I got an A on the paper, like a 98 out of 100. And I couldn't tell you a single fucking thing that I said or what point was made. Like if I reread the paper out loud, I'd be like, what the fuck did I just say to you? But I got an A because that guy, he loved him. He loved him some him. Yeah.

Education mock trial. I started to do mock trial. So in high school, I did something for him on law. I went to like Boston for some law thing. I went to Washington, D.C. for some law thing. And you go to the secret boys club. And we talk about that. Buckeye Boys State in Ohio. So Buckeye Boys State, some forum on law in Washington, D.C. and another one in Boston.

And I really fucking loved it. So in college, I was like, dude, I actually know people that are doing mock trial here. I'm going to go to do mock trial and I'm going to love it because I've already loved it. I went to the first meeting and they were talking about like just how it goes, the workload, this and that.

i never went back to another meeting i never did it did you get scared off or did you just like just forget it existed no i just was like like the next time it came up i was like tired i was had like a paper or something i was working on so well i can't make this meeting i'm gonna get some work done and that was like predated my modern day like i'm gonna play this video game to completion and then one day i don't play it and i never go back to it it was just like a hint of what was to come for my future of the man who if he takes a day off will never go back to that task

Never followed through on it, and I really, really loved Mock Trial up until that point. Nerd. Nerd! Nerd! Can we pile on him now? Is that okay? Yeah, pile on. Yeah, nerd! Yeah, go pound the mound, nerd! Wait, what are you writing? I'm gonna give you both nerd points. How about you like writing briefs? Just don't mind the tears on the nerd point. No one's gonna see that but you, nerd.

You know a weird one while you guys are thinking a weird one that I used to enjoy doing that I forgot existed and then lately it's popped up like synchronicity style is building Bionicles. They're like I don't know if they were Lego I think they were Lego. It's a Lego thing. But I really enjoyed building Bionicles and then like either like almost Transformer or Power Ranger them or if you had like the set of six Bionicles you could take them apart and then build like the super Bionicle.

I just forgot they existed and lately they've been popping up all over the place. And I even saw like a recommended like GDQ speedrun of someone playing some like really shitty Bionicle video game and speedrunning it. And like, I just can't escape Bionicles like the last month. And I hadn't thought about them in 20 years.

I saw the Bionicle lore popped up recently because I didn't know this, but in Bionicle, the world, it actually takes place in like the corpse of a giant robot or something like this. I didn't know that. And by giant, I mean moon-sized or something like this. Like the robot is so...

large, like there's, I think I can find like a picture of it, but I don't even know if it is real scale or something like this. All of Bionicle the lore takes place inside the corpse of this robot. I want to build it. If you think about it on the sense of like structural, there's no way that robot could stand at all or function. But at the same time, it's also like, wow, that's terrifying. If you have megalophobia, that's, that's awful.

- I've never heard that term before. - Megalophobia? - Yeah, I'm guessing it's a fear of big things. - It sure is. You got that? You have it? I look down all the time. I haven't been scared yet. - Imagine a moon-sized packing peanut.

How do you feel? That is a loaded question and I hate you. Imagine a monitor box, but there's no monitor in it. There's just styrofoam the size of the Titanic. You know, Bob, you hadn't lost the point yet. Now you have. That wasn't even the first time I made a styrofoam joke this episode. You crossed the line. When did you make another one? Didn't I mention styrofoam earlier? I say you might as well eat styrofoam about something because you were talking about food or something. I don't remember. I don't recall. Only I had a memory. Me

Me too. Love Bionicle reference though. Bionicle reference. Good. Dude, we're allowed to do that. I was shopping for a birthday present for a five-year-old recently because we're going to a birthday party and I was looking for Lego dinosaurs. So I was in like the Lego aisle by some of the more grown-up kits as well. There was like a Formula One car. Like there was like Martin Senna's Formula One car, whatever his livery is and some stuff. And I was supposed to be looking for dinosaurs and I just came across those and I was like, oh, that would look really cool in my office.

And I went down a whole rabbit hole before I remembered. I'm totally allowed to buy those things, but that's not what I'm at the store for right now. But we can just do that. Imagine that. Having all that fun stuff. That's true. I have a Star Wars AT-AT in my garage I have not built yet. Is it one of the pretty big scale ones? Yeah. Oh,

Oh, nice. But yeah, we have a couple like Lego stores and stuff around. There's one like in the Kenwood Mall and other areas around Cincinnati. So there's great places to get that kind of stuff. I have a buddy who has the Lego Super Star Destroyer, but it's like the big one, like the five foot long one. It's awesome. I also have been like delving deeper into like the world of cooperative board games since Mark showed us a few. Bird,

the porn guy uh he and foo have some uh co-op board games they showed us there's one dude i'm obsessed i think it's called like hanabi which is like fireworks oh i've seen that one you just have piles and you with one other person you just try to build fireworks i am obsessed i want that like i want meat i want to play that game bad i had so much fun with it it's so simple and i was just like oh we got so close let's go again oh we won but we didn't get all the fireworks we could get all the fireworks come on let's play more i just want to play more of it i've

Really fucking love that game, but it's like impossible to find the tile version actually in stock anywhere. It's driving me insane. But we got one called Pandemic, which has been fun to play. I want to get like a table set up or I just have like a board game slash Lego building table. Anyway, off topic there, but my brain.

Bionicle. I think about hockey a lot. I'm still a big ice hockey fan. Like I'm a big NHL fan. I played hockey when I was a kid a lot. Mainly we played like roller hockey in the parking lot behind the school or whatever, but I took skating lessons and then I took like hockey lessons where like you get the full gear and they start teaching you fundamentals and stuff, but you're not on a team yet. And I did all that and I fucking love hockey and I,

just gave up. I don't remember what happened. I think what may have happened is my hand got shut in one of the rink doors one time, like three of my four fingers got shut in one of those heavy metal rink doors, like latched all the way shut, shut. That led to me taking a break from hockey while my fingers recovered. And then I sort of never went back to it after that, I think, because I started getting into other sports and stuff. But man, I wish I'd played hockey. Hockey is a fun sport. I love hockey. Yeah.

That sounds really fun, but also horrible. Very violent. Yeah, well, I am, since then, have been terrified of those doors, and if I'm ever near an ice rink for, like, fun purposes, I'm terrified of getting anything caught in the heavy, latching door that crushes your bones into dust. Yeah.

Other than like UFC or boxing or anything, it's like the only sport where you can like literally just stop what you're doing and go start beating the shit out of somebody and it's perfectly fine. It's a penalty. Yeah, but like you think legally, like I don't know, watching it, like, you know, you get into a fist fight with someone like in your family or whatever and it's like you're in jail. But on TV, you just watch this guy take off his gloves, go and start beating the fuck out of someone and we're all just like, yeah!

Yeah. They're like, go sit in the corner. Two minutes, two minutes. Sit down. It's five minutes for fighting. Okay. Do they only give the penalty to the loser or what? That'd be really funny. You lose. If you engage in a fight, you get it either way. You won. You get a point. Other sports basically are just fighting the whole time. Like, I always think it's funny when football players get so worked up that they're like trying to punch each other after the player, whatever.

It's like the entire sport is just punching each other with some other shit happening. Just wait until you get another play and go pummel the absolute shit out of that dude. When it's completely legal. There's no reason in a sport like football where you're like, I want to fight you now. It's like,

fight him during the play and then no it's not even a problem you don't get fined or anything like you're allowed to basically physically do whatever you want to this dude as long as it's you know violence and not grabbing which just sounds like what you want to do is violence so go ahead go nuts it sounds great like i don't know that's crazy but

The tackling and stuff in football, sure, but there is just something about watching hockey, like the whole thing, like people stop playing the game to watch these two dudes just like punch each other in the helmet, which doesn't do anything. Step one of hockey fight is get your stance, grab with your front hand. Step two is try and get their helmet either off or up enough that you can punch them in the face under the helmet.

And there is a technique to it. That's fair. Punching the helmet is stupid, but usually if you can't get the helmet off, you just like give up because you don't want to do that. That's not bad. You just fight again later or just hit him during the play because hockey is also insanely violent. Like it's not as aggressively violent as football is, but like...

I have a lot of space to find someone and try and hurt them in hockey. All right, Mark, you have to talk again. Oh, I have to? Wow. All right. I have in my script, punish Mark. Punish me? What did I do? Well, I guess I haven't done it yet. I don't know when that I...

grew unaccustomed to like waiting around in a creek or something like that, or like being amongst nature and just like getting my hands dirty. Because as a kid, you know, I went out in the woods a ton. You know, I played in the creek. I committed eco-terrorism. I just don't know when I gave that up. Because now if I look at a creek, I go, ugh, ugh, ew.

icky water oh if i think about my toes getting in the mud i'm like whoa god kill me blow me up i couldn't you know it's just like it's that's kind of pathetic you know in all honesty it's kind of pitiful that i wouldn't be okay with going around in the mud because that's a more natural state of being anyway but i give up man i'm the same way i used to love going to the creek man catching frogs and fish and all kinds of stuff and now like i go outside and like i'll see like a piece of garbage in the grass and i'm like

I have to touch that with my hand to throw it away? I don't even have like a tissue or a glove.

I don't mind getting dirty once I'm dirty, but man, the thought of getting my hands dirty, I hate it. Did you ever try to build dams in the creek? Like stop the water? Oh yeah, like I said, I diverted rivers all the time. Horrible, horrible things. That's the eco-terrorism part. Whole rivers? Well, yeah. Well, to a kid, a creek is a river. Like, you were one dedicated kid. The Ohio River didn't used to flow where it does now. A lot of time on my hands. The creek. A creek or crick?

I think it depends where you were born. Any other things you all did or didn't do you want to bring up? Pee-pee-poo-poo. Classic. Have you thought any more about my philosophical assertion? All poo-poos are pee-pees, but not all pee-pees are poo-poos. Yeah, no. I have no more thought. Do you want to contemplate it? Not at all. Let it soak in. No. In your brain. Pee-pee-poo-poo in your brain. Nope. Get it in there. No, no, no, no. Hey!

It's going. I would never saturate myself in that. You think your logical life straw keeps you safe, but it don't. I like that phrase, but no. Random question. Other than... You did wrestling, right, Mark? Did you do any other sports? I did track and field. I wish I had kept up with the running events and not so much the throwing. Because even though the throwing was kind of fun, it was like... It didn't feel very ambitious. So in all honesty, I was like, man, I probably should try more, but I didn't. Okay.

That's fair. Because you were good. We played football just like for fun. You were pretty good at like catching, running, everything else. Yeah, I mean, I was athletic. I was fast when I needed to be. I just never, I didn't like working hard, so I didn't. Bob, I know you played football and you were in band and you just said you did hockey, so I knew you did some stuff. Football, wrestling, track and field, baseball, soccer. Oh, damn, you did it all. Lots of things. I was very medium at all of them. I was okay at football, but I also didn't like getting brain injuries, so I sort of moved

past that this guy likes his brain what a fool well let me tabulate the points here good episode everyone no

Okay, shitty episode. I'm so sorry, viewers. I mean, yes, yes. No, it's not that good. I will aim to do better in the future. Probably won't, but, you know. Just for that, let's read Mark's points first, I guess. Oh, come on, man. Come on, man. Just because I didn't have too many things I gave up on, just because I'm such a winner. I'll read Bob's points first. Bob, you got points for... Cable instructions unclear. Confidence. I said best friends. Bye-bye car. Banned. Nerd. Nerd.

German hockey punch legally. And you lost a point for packing peanut, giving you eight points. I just want to be clear. It was a moon sized packing peanut. We're testing your megalophobia. All right, Mark, you got points for made chipmunk comfy. Scary baby burial ceremony. Sign language back to Korean nerd. Bionicle the creek.

giving you also 8 points. However, you lost the point for making us sad, leaving you at 7 points, which is one less than Bob's 8. Oh, come on! Hey, you're the one who made us sad. But it was such a captivating adventure! It was. It really was the best story of the entire episode, but also it made us sad. If it makes you feel any better, Bob would have won by 2 points if he hadn't mentioned the packing peanut. Does that make you feel better? Not really. No.

I can't believe that didn't make you feel better. What's wrong with you? Yeah, I thought for sure that was the one. I looked inward. I really contemplated. I was like, does it? Maybe it does. No, wait, no. Tell you what, I'll let you go first on the loser speech. How's that? What if I go first on the winner speech? You can say whatever you'd like, but it won't change the outcome. All right, fine.

Sorry I made everyone sad. Sorry my life full of adventure and mystery where I don't quit that many things because I'm not a quitter, not a loser per se. I didn't quit this episode. This episode quit me, and that's the distinction that keeps my ego intact. Well said, though I think you've tried and stopped more things than the rest of us combined. Bob Winterspeed! I don't know why he squealed like that. Woo!

I was playing the long game when I decided to never follow through on anything in my life. I knew that that would come back to help me succeed, just like giving up on all my dreams has helped me succeed at things. And there's a lesson to take away from this episode. It's that make sure that you never finish stuff because then you'll never have any interesting stories to talk about because then you'll just be a winner like Mark, who sucks and is boring.

and doesn't save chipmunks. Well said. I'm going to end on a happy note. That's crazy. If I'd given points during and after the winners and losers speeches, the win might have been reversed from those. Does that make you feel better, Mark? No. Let me think about it.

No! Well, that's the episode. Hopefully you all enjoyed our ramblings of some old men. Stay tuned for the next one where Bob will host and who knows what will happen. If you haven't already, go follow us. Mark at Markiplier, Bob at MySkirm, me at Minion777 or LordMinion777. We have merch at extractablestore.com and I guess see you in the next one. Until then, podcast out.