Mastermind - how to get anything or anyone you want
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Hello, everyone. Welcome to Date Yourself Instead. Before I dive into today's episode, I want to quickly talk about my new course. This is an e-course, so you could download it. It's called Dare to Detach. Guys, this is it. Okay, I've been working on this for the last two months, and this product is so amazing. If you're looking to step into your power, if you're listening to the podcast, trying to get over someone...

And at the same time, you want to level up and step into your power. You want to grow. You want to transform as a person and you want to become the most

empowered, powerful version of you, regardless of what you're going through right now, this course was made for you. I made Dare to Detach because it's something that you could go back to time and time again when you're feeling stuck and when you're feeling lost and when you need therapy. When I was going through my breakup at the worst possible time, I was going through so much shit in my life. And I honestly...

I couldn't really afford consistent therapy. I couldn't really afford expensive means of self-help. And I created Dare to Detach as a way to get a little taste of a one-on-one conversation with me, as well as provide a therapeutic way to up-level and heal and become the best version of you. So if you're feeling stuck, if you're feeling like you are ready to up-level and step into your power, Dare to Detach is for you.

It's like a best friend talking to you and you'll have full access to it forever. Once you purchase it, it's yours forever. You're going to become fucking unstoppable.

And you're going to learn the art of detachment as well, which is really cool. You can find the link to Dare to Detach on my Instagram at Date Yourself Instead or by going to the separate Instagram account directly. It's called Dare to Detach. Super easy to find. I am so excited for you. DM me if you decide to join us. And now let's dive into today's podcast episode.

Mastermind, the secret to getting anyone and anything you want.

anything and anyone, any situation you're trying to manifest, you're trying to bring into your life, how do you get there? How do you become a mischievous mastermind? Becoming a mastermind is my specialty. Now, first of all, if you guys love Taylor Swift as much as I do, I'm sorry. I know she's been talked about a lot in the media lately, but I just love her. I never get sick of her. I never get tired of hearing about T Swift. Yeah. So

Becoming a mastermind is my specialty and I'm thinking of her song Mastermind where she's basically plotting to get the guy and letting the universe work its magic as she's strategically trying to date someone, right? That song is golden. And...

It has some truth to it. I feel like I've been a mastermind in trying to get the things that I want out of life, trying to date the people that I wanted to date. Sometimes there is a strategy behind it. So this is what this episode is all about. And let's get right into it. All right. So when I was 14, I saw this beautiful, gorgeous man walk past me. I was at my freshman orientation for high school and...

This guy walks by me. He has crystal blue eyes and he captured my attention instantly. And I felt his energy. There was just some sort of good attraction, good vibe there. He didn't notice me, but I noticed him. We didn't say a word to each other. But in the back of my head, I planted the seed. I was like, I want this guy. That was the seed that was planted. Now...

Everything about manifestation and getting what you want, you have to plant the seed first. So the first step is obviously knowing exactly what you want and knowing the specifics of it, okay? You have to get very specific and have the goal in mind. What are you trying to accomplish here? So for me, when I was much younger and I wanted a boyfriend, but I wasn't actively desperately trying to seek it, I saw this guy and I was like, hmm.

I want him. But it was one of those thoughts in passing where I wasn't stalking him and suddenly obsessive over it. It just crossed my mind. I planted the seed and let it go. Now, I read this quote on Instagram yesterday, actually, that said, if you plant a seed, you don't constantly dig it up every 10 minutes to see if it's growing.

And this concept is important to understand if you're a mastermind and trying to get what you want out of life. You cannot be desperately seeking things to the point where you're like begging the universe for it because you have to be super strategic. You have to understand that what you want is already yours.

what you seek is seeking you. And by being in that relaxed state of certainty, that's how you get to the end goal. You have to act as if you already have what you want. That's the key to manifestation. Just feeling...

as if you already received what you're actually asking for. And it's a bit interesting because oftentimes this is why when we're over something and we've let go of it completely and almost forget about it, that's when it comes into our life because it's almost as if we already received it and it's already happened, right?

So you're not begging the universe and pleading to the universe 24-7 for this one thing. You have to act as if it's already happened to you and live in that vibrational state. So you got to plant the seed and then let it go and trust. Trusting and having faith is the key. It's also a switch in your brain and your mindset. The secret to getting anything or anyone you want is a simple switch in your brain, but it's the most powerful switch you can turn on.

This ties into the law of assumption, which is assuming that you already have what you were trying to get. So as I just said, you have to live as if you've already received what you're asking for. You have to live in that vibrational frequency where let's just say I actually heard this TikTok the other day. It was also really impactful.

This guy was saying how if you were broke, essentially, but you knew that someone had written you a $10 million check in two weeks, would you live in the state of fear and uncertainty and anxiety and depression because you're broke? Or would you be so excited every day to wake up and crush life and do whatever it is you want to do because you know that you're getting a huge fat check for millions of dollars?

you would obviously be so excited, right? Because you know that it's coming. That's how you have to treat your manifestations. You have to treat it as if you know for a fact that it's on its way and you're trusting that and you're living in that and you're living and breathing in that state of abundance and happiness and freedom and joy 24 fucking 7. And this ties into this concept of being a mastermind because...

You plant the seeds and you know exactly what you're looking for. And it's kind of like, that's the strategy. But then you have to allow the universe to take its course and line everything up for you. Once you've made that initial step to plant the seed, it's done for you, okay? But the key is to also hold faith and understand that it's coming and not be discouraged and not be beating yourself up if things aren't physically evident right away.

Now, let's talk about the law of assumption. Let me read you the definition of the law of assumption so we're all on the same page because there might be some people listening to the episode right now that don't really know what the law of assumption is about.

The law of assumption suggests that assuming a particular state of being or a desired outcome can manifest that state or outcome in one's life. This assumption is not mere wishful thinking but a deep and genuine belief that the desired state is already a reality. According to this law, if you assume a certain belief or state and you truly accept it as real in your imagination,

basically feeling it as if it were already true and it's already happened, then circumstances and events in your life will align to bring that assumption into fruition. Essentially, the law of assumption emphasizes the importance of your beliefs, attitudes, and assumptions about yourself and your reality, asserting that your beliefs shape your experiences and circumstances. So that is summarizing everything that I just talked about.

You have to feel and believe that it is your reality in order for things to manifest. And the universe will align everything up once you're in that flow state. That's really what it is to be a mastermind. That is the secret in attracting anything or anyone you want is just believing that it's yours and truly living in that.

And I always say too, because sometimes I've planted the seeds for certain manifestations. For example, I thought I wanted certain things. Let's just say I wanted a specific person and I was manifesting a specific person into my life. I was like, I think this is the right person, whether it be for a work opportunity or whether it be a relationship. I thought that was what I wanted at the time. But I started living in this vibrational, excited, happy, frequent state where I was like, okay, this...

this is what I would feel like if I met the love of my life, or this is what I would feel like if I got the brand deal or I got the work opportunity. And then better situations even happened for me where those things that I thought I wanted to manifest were actually replaced by things that were even more aligned with who I was. So even if you don't manifest specifically what you've asked for, if you're living in a constant state of vibrational abundance and you're truly aligned with

you might actually bring something even better into your life. Instead of exactly what you're looking for, you might have that replaced with something that's even more aligned with who you are, which is such a cool thing. Now, another really important thing to note is that you attract what you are and not what you want. Okay, let me repeat that. You attract what you are and not what you want. Now, I'll give you a little bit of an example where it is applicable to a lot of

Not every situation, but I was thinking about it and I'm like, why do celebrities tend to all date each other? Right? Like, why do we always hear about these celebrity couples that are always married to each other or dating each other and they're just dating within the same circle?

Now, part of it obviously is because they all have the same line of work and career and it's easy to meet and network with each other because they're all in the entertainment industry. However, it's also that they are in the entertainment industry and that's who they are. So they're aligning with other people who are just like them. Right? And it makes perfect sense. It sounds very simple when you actually think about it.

You attract who you are and not what you want. So you have to become essentially the type of person that you would want to date. Now, it doesn't always apply. And obviously, there's a wide range of situations at play here where that's not always the case. But it's true for a lot of industries. It's true for a lot of people in the same lines of work or who have similar interests or who have similar hobbies and similar goals. You tend to align with those people eventually because that's

who you are and that's who you're most surrounded by in your life. When you have a commonality with someone, when you become a specific thing, you're going to attract more of those types of people and situations into your vortex.

That's why there's also a really key part of the Dare to Detach course when I mentioned this concept of manifesting healthy love. And in order to actually manifest the right person, you need to become the type of partner that you would want. You actually need to look intrinsically inside yourself and say, do I have all the qualities I'm actually trying to manifest?

attract from a significant other? Do you want someone smart, funny, driven, successful, et cetera? Whatever you want out of a partner, you need to become that in order to attract and manifest healthy love. You attract what you are and not what you want. And I really want you to take that with you as you're trying to attract whatever it is you're trying to bring into your life. Because it's so important to recognize and understand that

You have to essentially align yourself and line yourself up energetically with what it is you desire. Now, I can also confidently say that living in an excited state while you're manifesting, so living with this like absolute excitement about what you're trying to manifest is also so helpful and so beneficial when you're actually trying to get to the end goal and you're actually trying to

manifest whatever it is you're trying to attract, okay? It could be literally anything. Living in excitement, living in abundance, feeling like so excited and happy that you're asking the universe for a gift, that you're asking the universe for something, whatever it is. You're asking it for a favor. There was a time where I really wanted to go to India. And I think I've mentioned this on an episode before.

where I was talking to a bunch of my followers that live in India. And they're like, come, I would love to see you. I'd love to visit. I would love for you to visit. And I was like,

Oh, I don't know when the right opportunity would be, but I'm going to send it out into the universe. I literally said that and then I let it go. And the next day I got an email from a brand, a makeup brand that was doing a campaign and a photo shoot in India for three days. It was a trip that was coming up within the next couple of weeks and they were going to pay me on top of it.

I was shocked, guys, when I tell you that happened to me, I literally, my jaw dropped to the floor because it was something I had sent out into the universe with this idea of if it happens, great. If it doesn't, great. I'm neutral, but I'm excited about it because eventually if I do go to India, that would be really cool. And I was just living in this frequency of pure excitement and happiness. And I wasn't worried about the outcome and I wasn't worried about the how and how am I going to get there and how am I going to fly there and where am I going to stay? I was just like,

I literally did not think that far ahead. I just sent this message out into the universe. And I swear on my life, I have to find the email and I'll show you guys the trip. There's photos on my Instagram from this trip. It was several years ago.

I feel like I truly had sent that message out into the world and the universe was like, here you go because you asked for it and you asked so politely and you asked with joy and excitement and you weren't stressing about it. And that's the key to being a fucking mastermind is living in this state of certainty and also just knowing that everything is working out for you. Everything is going to align perfectly for you if you just trust the process and truly just let it up to...

The stars, okay? Let it up to the universe. I know I've said the universe like 30 times. I don't know another word for the universe. But leave it in the stars, okay? Let the stars align for you. As Taylor Swift says, something in the stars align. I'm blanking out right now.

I'm blanking out, but the song Mastermind, go listen to it after this episode, okay? It's a really good one off of Midnight's. I adore her. Okay, you have to trust the process and understand that what you're asking for is not this grand big thing if you just actually trust and align yourself with it and know that you deserve it and know that it's coming and know that the universe is going to reward you.

in so many amazing ways if you're truly in alignment. Now, this doesn't always mean that it happens overnight, which I want to reiterate and also tying this back to the quote that I mentioned earlier in the episode of planting a seed.

Now, as I said, if you plant the seed, which metaphorically, if you plant your manifestation or whatever it is you're actually asking for, you're not going to constantly check back and constantly harp on the details and constantly wonder how is this going to happen? How is this even going to be

physically possible to manifest. You're not going to ask those questions. You're simply going to sit back and allow it to happen for you because you're in a state of full trust and surrender. That's the key. Now, you always hear these stories of people getting into relationships when they least expected it, when they weren't even looking for it, when they weren't trying so hard to find their soulmate. That's when it fucking happens.

I've always met my significant others when I wasn't looking for it at all. I was always in a state of abundance and flow and I was living my best life and focusing entirely on myself, focusing everything I needed to do was about me. It wasn't about anyone else. I wasn't worried about dating apps or I wasn't worried about going on dates in general or trying to meet people. It was just...

An era of me and myself and I. Any time I've actually met someone. So now I'm going to finish the story I was telling in the beginning of this episode with this man that I saw that was gorgeous, beautiful, blue eyes. I planted the seed that I wanted him.

A few weeks later, I saw him out. He had a girlfriend, I think. We didn't speak again, but I saw him in front of me standing on a line at a carnival. And I was like, all right, that's the same guy.

I set the intention in my mind again that I wanted to talk to him and he turns around and he actually said something to me. And we exchanged a few words. That was it. But I had this intention in my head like, I want him. He's super attractive. Then I let it go again.

A few weeks later, my friend has a birthday dinner. I didn't even want to go because I was talking to another guy at the time and he broke up with me. And I started crying and I didn't want to go to this dinner because it wasn't even a real relationship. I was freaking 14 years old. But I remember I was just really upset over this guy. And...

I ended up going to the dinner anyway in a really bad mood. And who do you think walks in? It's the freaking gorgeous man with blue eyes. And we end up sitting across from each other at the dinner. We end up literally falling in love basically at the dinner. And we started dating maybe a week or two later. It was like the fastest moving situation ever. And that was my first real relationship. And we dated on and off for eight years.

And it was, yeah, it was just one of those things where I felt like such a mastermind because I had planted this idea that I wanted him for months prior. And when it actually manifested, it was as if I had known the whole time that we were going to be together and I trusted it and I wasn't stressed about it and I wasn't worried about it. But eventually the stars aligned and everything worked out. The whole point is...

You just have to live in a state of almost like you just are so detached and you don't even think about it and you don't care because you know that it's happening and you just have to live in that state. That's it. And I know I'm repeating myself, but I think this is one of those episodes that I want people to just go back to as a reminder if you're trying to attract something significant into your life.

Just to understand that, first of all, what's meant for you will always find you. And I know that's such a cheesy overused quote, but it really is true. I truly believe that what's meant for you will always eventually find you. You'll always end up in the right situations with people and relationships and career opportunities and literally anything. I truly believe that...

If you really think that this is what is best for you and this is what is supposed to happen for you, it will as long as you trust. And sometimes we see things and we foresee things and we're like, this is the right person for me or this is the right job for me or this is the right opportunity for me, whatever it might be. And it hasn't happened yet, but deep down we have this knowing and we know that this is what is supposed to happen for us, but it's just a matter of time.

So just trust and live as if it's already happened or you know that it's coming. And that's the way you should wake up living your life every day regardless, just in the flow state, saying what's meant for me will always find me. What's meant for me is always going to manifest for me. And that's it.

Now, there's another situation that I wanted to bring up that I remember specifically about becoming a mastermind. And I think it ties in really well with this entire topic of manifesting things almost when you're not even thinking about it and you're not even trying. So there was someone that I had a little bit of a crush on. This was years ago, by the way. But I remember I just was super attracted to this person and I was like,

damn, I would definitely want to talk to this person if I had the opportunity. But the thing is, I never really had met them. I'd only heard about them through friends of friends. And a couple of my friends had brought it up to me. Oh, you guys would be good together or you guys have similar temperaments or you have similar personalities. I think you would...

go well together and whatever. And then it got in my head. You know, when someone says, oh, I think you would look good with this person, it plants the seed in your head subconsciously where you're like, maybe we would be good together. I've never thought of that before. And then it starts messing with your head because you're like, all right, now I'm going to be a crazy person and obsess over a crush. And I don't even know this person. I've never spoken to this person.

Whatever. That was what the situation was. And I had never uttered two words to this person before. But there was a vibe. I could feel it energetically. I was like, this could be maybe something. But then I let it go. I forgot about it. And I completely just...

I just detached. There was no need for me to really get too into details in my brain about it unless I actually happened to meet this person. I wasn't going to go out of my way to make anything happen unless it happened naturally. That was what I told myself. And there was one night where I was once again having one of those weird nights where I did not want to go out and I was very resistant to even getting ready, putting on makeup, the whole process of getting ready.

having to get dressed. I was like, oh, I'm just not in the fucking mood to do this right now. But I end up forcing myself to get ready and I go out and I'm at this party. I see some of my friends. I'm vibing with people. It's one of these work event things.

I'm hanging out with this girl that I actually had just met that night, but we were vibing, had a few drinks. It was nothing too serious. And then I was getting bored. I was like, all right, I need to leave. I don't want to be here anymore. I don't know why I came. And then someone else intercepts me as I'm walking out the door and starts a conversation with me. Some person that I knew from a really long time ago.

And we start getting into a conversation and she's like, come over here. I want you to meet my other friends. I end up meeting a bunch of other girls that I knew from Instagram, but I actually wasn't close with. And then we start chatting. I get to know them a little better. It starts becoming a little more fun again. I'm not bored anymore. I'm vibing. And then...

I'm like, all right, I'm leaving for real. I turned towards the door and the person that these people had said I would go well with and the person that I had developed a little crush on from the outside. I don't know if this sounds like I'm a creep or whatever. I don't even know if he even knew who I was. Okay.

He walks in the door and I literally started shaking. I was like, oh God, this is like one of those universal moments where I know the universe is, was trying to tell me to stay because I was intercepted from leaving the

multiple times. I feel like I was trying to leave a few times throughout the night and then I would just end up getting interrupted, getting pulled into a conversation. And then this man walks through the door really late into the night and we end up taking shots together and talking, whatever.

It never was anything. It never turned into anything. And it was nothing serious whatsoever. However, it was just one of those moments where I feel like I had manifested the situation unfolding that way. I just wanted to see what his personality would be like. And...

Once I spoke to him, I was like, okay, I have clarity. I don't think this would be a good situation. But it's nice to just know that I had that answer. And I wasn't thinking about it at all anymore. And it was just really funny. And I don't believe in coincidences. Who knows what would happen in the future. But I just feel like in that moment, it was one of those things where I was like...

I feel like that was just one of those meant to be moments. And yeah, the whole concept of really drawing in experiences and people and situations into your life is essentially this concept of really just letting go and trusting and knowing that

The universe will deliver at the right time and the right circumstances and give you clarity and confirmation either way. And sometimes just because you manifest something into your vortex, it doesn't mean it's always going to stick around. It doesn't mean it's right for you, but you could still experience it. You could still experience it no matter what it is.

For example, I know a lot of people who have asked me, how do I manifest my ex back? How do I manifest this person that I was in love with? They treated me badly. How do I manifest them treating me right and me getting married to them? And I'm like, well, you can, right? You can manifest them back into your life without a doubt. However, is that truly what you want? Is that truly going to be good for you? It's not a matter of if you can actually manifest the experience or person.

It's more of a matter of if this person's actually right for you because you can manifest them back, but are you going to be happy? That's what you actually have to ask yourself. That's why I always say instead of pinning it on a specific individual and saying, I want Brad back into my life, you say, I want the right person to come into my life. You don't put a specific name on it. Even though you might think that's what you want in the moment and you can do that technically,

The other person also has free will and is probably also subconsciously manifesting other people and experiences into their life. You want to be with someone who's on the same playing field as you and you want to be with someone that actually also wants to be with you as well, right? So just keep those things in mind when you're trying to do things like that, such as manifest a specific person. You don't want to sell yourself short. You don't want to...

undervalue yourself by trying to attract someone to your life that isn't even going to give you everything that you deserve. But you can do it if you want. And I fully support you regardless of what you decide to do either way.

The other thing is that I want to bring up, which is a really interesting point, is something career-related that I experienced very recently with my podcast. I'm going to get super transparent about the podcast industry on here. The podcast industry is really fascinating. It's so separate from social media and everything that I was used to doing. And it's really different the way to grow a podcast and get your name out there and know other podcasters. It's just... It's like a different little bubble, right? Yeah.

So when I initially started the podcast, my goal was to sign a network deal and sell my podcast to a company that would essentially pay me to podcast. And then they were going to put advertisements on the podcast. Now, as I built the brand and I realized how important the brand was to me over time, I started to question my own manifestations. I was like, I want to manifest a network deal, but do I? And...

I had this goal in mind for so long, for months. I was forcing it and trying and reaching out to people and just doing all this work and unnecessary struggling throughout the whole process of trying to...

sell date yourself instead to a network. But from the networks I spoke to, number one, they weren't really seeing my value in the way that I needed them to see my value. I value myself very highly. I value my work ethic. I care so much about the brand. I care so much about you guys. I care about every single DM I get telling me the most amazing things about the feedback, about the podcast, and just relationships, everything, okay, is so fucking important to me.

And I didn't get the vibe that other people were seeing the value in it the way that I did. I was like, why isn't this manifesting? Why isn't this manifesting? And I kept beating myself up over it until I had this epiphany that wasn't the right

path for me. That wasn't the right option. This wasn't how I actually wanted to approach the brand and monetize it. Because what would end up happening, at least for right now, is if I sold it, basically, networks could run

crazy amounts of ads on the episodes. And every few minutes, you would just hear another ad for toothpaste and another ad for a beauty brand and another ad for a fitness brand. And then by the end of the episode, you'd be skipping half of it. And you'd probably be frustrated because if you're sobbing over a breakup right now, listening to the podcast, you're going to be like, what the fuck am I listening to? And

For me, just personally, that I don't think is going to work for the brand. Now, throwing in an occasional ad here and there is totally fine. And I would be fine with that. And I think you guys would be fine with that too. But to oversaturate it and then try to make all this money off of it by doing it that way just seemed wrong for me personally.

I realized that is why things weren't manifesting. And the reason this is relating to the whole episode is because sometimes we try to manifest certain things and the universe is going to say, that's not fucking right for you. This is why it's not manifesting because I'm blocking it because it's not the right decision for you. And I'm trying to guide you in a better direction. And I think that was one of those moments for me when I realized,

I needed to let go of that whole idea, scrap that plan and make something of value to provide for other people, which is why I'm coming out with the course. And also, it's so aligned with the brand and so aligned with what you guys are here for, right? So...

After having all those realizations, I realized that my goals and my manifestations completely had shifted and changed. And now all these amazing things and opportunities are flowing into my life so much easier. I feel like my life has gotten so much better in such a short amount of time ever since I let that go because I was struggling to hold on to this one idea and this one concept of, oh, I need this one specific thing.

When in reality, I was being divinely guided into something that would actually be more aligned with my work and my purpose. Sometimes when you're manifesting, you have to also remember, and you're trying to be a little mastermind, trying to get whatever it is that you want, that sometimes you'll be blocked if the universe thinks you deserve better. So just keep that in mind when you're plotting and you're like, I really want this person or I really want this job or I really want whatever situation.

If it's not happening and you've been struggling for months on end, you might just be getting guided somewhere better. And if you really trust that and believe that, I promise you new opportunities and doors are going to open up for you. Another thing that I want you guys to think about when you're trying to attract something into your life, if you're constantly obsessing over the details of a manifestation, I want you guys to remember that

Centering yourself and actually focusing on your inner power is actually what's going to get you there. It's not about obsessing over the details and trying really hard to make something work because that's never productive. When you're forcing something to work, it's almost preventing it from happening. You're almost blocking it energetically because you're sending the message out to the universe that you don't have this thing.

So by actually just letting go and focusing on your inner power and focusing on other things, taking other things up, allowing yourself to focus on other things throughout your day versus pining over something that hasn't happened yet is always going to be more productive for you versus...

obviously staying stuck on this one thing if it's not happening right away. And I just wanted to say that as a final reminder, because it can be so easy to get sucked into this idea of, oh my God, it's not happening. Oh my God, why isn't it happening? Or why isn't it manifesting? It's been two months.

But I want you to also think about the quote that I said in the beginning, planting the seed, you're not digging up the seed constantly to see if it's growing. You're waiting patiently because you know that it's going to grow and you know the plant is going to grow in divine timing.

Anyways, I think that concludes today's episode. I love you guys. Thanks as always for listening to the podcast. Be sure to check out Dare to Detach and rate the podcast on Apple and Spotify. Share it with a friend if you've been enjoying the episodes. I love you. Thanks again and stay tuned for next Monday.