47: The Best of Dark History: The Joanie Awards
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This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, while you're listening to me talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you could be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance.

It's easy and you can save money by doing it from your phone. Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average. And auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner and more.

So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 24, 7, 365 days a year. So you're protected no matter what. Multitask right now. Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive.

This is an ad by BetterHelp. What?

What are your self-care non-negotiables? The things you know make you feel better, even when it's impossible to make time for them. Like that workout you try to squeeze in between kids' activities, work, and everything else you have going on, and before you know it, it gets pushed to tomorrow.

Sound familiar? But it's the moments when you feel like you have no time for yourself when those non-negotiables are more important than ever. Those are the things that keep you strong, healthy, motivated, and prepared to take on everything life demands of you. So why not make therapy one of them?

BetterHelp Online Therapy makes it easy to get started with affordable phone, video, or live chat sessions you can do from anywhere, and the option to message your therapist between sessions if anything comes up. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash darkhistory today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash darkhistory.

Ladies and gentlemen, Bailey Sarian presents Bailey Sarian in a Bailey Sarian joint, Bailey Sarian's Dark History with Bailey Sarian and Joan. Great, great, great. Hi friends, how are you today? Look, my name is Bailey Sarian and I'd like to welcome you to my award show.

Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Hold the applause. Today we're doing something a little different. Why? Believe it or not, we're celebrating a year of dark history. Time flies, doesn't it? What a wild ride it's been.

365 days ago, we began this dark history journey that changed everything. 46 episodes, a Streamy Award. Did I tell you guys we won a Streamy Award? I'm so sorry, I think I forgot to mention. We won a Streamy Award. And nearly 100 hours of intense psychotherapy later, okay? We bring you the first annual Joanie Awards.

Thank you for coming. Come embark on this journey honoring the darkest histories we've told over the past year. And here's your host, me, Bailey Sarian. When we started down this road, I never would have imagined how much we'd learn. I mean, the experts we'd get to work with and the piles of research it would take to get here. But we made it. And honestly,

I think we're better for it. I learned a lot. I don't know about you guys, but I learned a lot. So in honor of this accomplishment, I wanted to take a moment to take a look back at all the stories we've talked about and then

And the best way to do it? An award show of course! But not just any award show. It's the Dark History Presents The Joanie Awards. Yes, yes, yes. Some of these awards are going to be for some of the most courageous characters we've covered on this show. And some of them are going to be some of the real villains or douche canoes. If you know what I mean. But mostly, this is just a chance for all of us here to have a little fun because

That's really the point. I think we need it. Okay, cuz it's been a pretty dark. We've told some dark stories here We need a little giggle don't we learning about history can get pretty dark pretty quick, but it can also be really really fun So let's get to it and hand out some Joanie Awards Okay, my friends. Let's Joanie you ready girl. You look fabulous show off that outfit. Oh, yeah, Joanie We're matching. Are you wearing feathers?

Isn't that going against your kind? Oh my god, you murderer! You're sick in the head. Okay, anyways. Oh my god.

One of the things that surprised me the most while I was researching this show was that there were so many important people present at important times in history that I personally had never heard of. Remember Jackie Mitchell from the Women in History episode? If you don't, I would suggest you maybe listen to that episode. But she was a teenage girl who was a professional baseball player in the 1930s who struck out freaking Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig.

That's huge and I honestly, I had never heard of her. So this award is for people like her who should be a household name but for some reason are not. So our first award today is the Household Name Joanie. And the nominees are: Queen Lily Uokalani from Hawaii, a real life Princess Leia.

Queen Liliuokalani saw the Hawaiian kingdom stolen by wealthy white businessmen, but decided to fight back by staging a rebellion. And even though the rebellion failed, her fight lives on today with the Hawaiian Sovereignty Movement.

- Rosetta Tharpe from Rock 'n' Roll. Sister Rosetta was a brilliant musician and trailblazer. I mean, her nickname is the godmother of rock 'n' roll because she invented rock 'n' roll as we know it today. But if you look at the most lists of greatest guitarists ever,

She is rarely mentioned, and that's a damn shame. Katrina Haslip from the AIDS epidemic. Katrina was a black HIV-positive woman who ended up in prison. Instead of letting this destroy her, Katrina used it as an opportunity to change the lives of people who were HIV-positive. Katrina became a jailhouse lawyer and fought back.

Her activism didn't stop when she was released, and she ended up having a huge positive impact for people living with AIDS. Fred Kodimatsu from Japanese American concentration camps. Fred was a badass who ignored the Japanese incarceration orders from the U.S. government and ended up launching a civil rights case that lasted over 40 years.

Eventually, it made its way to the Supreme Court and set in motion the events that led to the passage of the 1988 Civil Liberties Act, which forced the government to apologize to victims of Japanese incarceration. The Radium Girls from Radium Girls. Thousands of women who worked at watch factories were exposed to a radioactive chemical called radium and died as a result. A group of them took their employer to court and won.

Their fight and unfortunate death would have a major impact on labor laws all over the United States. And we still see some of the effects today. Thank you so much, Magical Hand. I am so excited to see what the judges picked. I didn't pick these. So if you don't agree, don't come for me. Judges picked these. And the Joanie goes to Katrina Haslip from the AIDS epidemic.

"Joni, clap! You're so good!" Katrina fought until the day she died to expand the definition of AIDS. She also founded the AIDS Counseling and Education Program to organize prisoners infected with HIV who were just being ignored. Because of her efforts, way more people were given automatic access to medication, treatment, benefits, housing, Medicare, and even civil rights protections. Honestly,

They all were amazing candidates. And we, yes. Great. Thank you, Katrina.

Speaking of household names, our next award is for most appearances in Dark History. Oh yes, yes it is. This award will go to someone or something very familiar because we heard of them again and again. And then we heard of them a few more times. And then like again and again and again. You get it. Now it's worth mentioning that racism and misogyny are both most prominent in all of our episodes as they are throughout history.

So they qualify for this award for sure, but we don't want none of that. They suck, is what I'm saying. The winner of this award has stuck it to all of us, and we're still trying to dig our way out from under the shitstorm that this person created.

So that's probably why they've appeared in so many episodes. Let's hear our nominees! Thomas Edison, a Pisces, for his appearance in Radium Girls, Golden Age of Hollywood, and his own episode. Richard Nixon, a Capricorn, for his appearances in Crack vs. Cocaine, Cannabis, Student Loans, and Private Prisons.

Syphilis! She was discovered in 1495, the year of the rabbit. She appeared in Tuskegee, Radium Girls, Dancing Plague, and Birth Control. Fun fact: she's just lurking in the backgrounds of jazz and prohibition as well. Some of you may even know her right now. Our old pal Andrew Bathsalts Jackson.

Another Pisces, isn't that something weird? For his appearances in Private Prisons, Cannabis, Trail of Tears, Residential Schools, and his own episode. Ronald Reagan, oh man, he was in a lot. An Aquarius, Ronald Reagan. For his appearances in Crack vs. Cocaine, Private Prisons, Cannabis, Student Loans, The AIDS Epidemic, and the Americans with Disabilities Act. No.

New Orleans. This city was founded May 7th, 1718. So it's a Taurus. I guess, yes. Somehow, New Orleans has popped up seven times on this show. In Andrew Jackson, Private Prisons, Sicilian Lynchings, Trail of Tears, Jazz, Residential Schools, and Bananas. Gumbo, Beignets, Mardi Gras, and the largest slave market?

What is going down there, y'all? Thank you, hand. Wow. And the Joanie for most appearances goes to the 1800s. She wasn't even nominated. Plot twist, everybody. This is a shocker. The 1800s is the winner. Can you believe it?

Trigger up the 1800s. Now it makes sense. I mean, in the 1800s, the United States had tons of bad shit going on. We were supposed to end slavery, but that didn't happen. I mean, there were a shitload of lynchings, lots of exploitation. Women, oh, we were screwed. We had no rights then, you know?

And a lot of people got rich at the expense of others. There was a lot of abuse going on, a lot of death, lots of death. Oh, and remember the circus. The circus also started in the 1800s. Now, if it were up to me, I thought for sure the month of March would steal the scene because it seemed like that was in all the stories. But okay, 1800s, you win. You win. Let's take a sip to that. Cheers, bitches.

Joanie, you don't have one. Oh, your name's not Joanie. It's the Joanie Awards. Why is it named after you? You didn't even do anything except for just show up and look cute. I did all the work. Man. All right. Coming up next is everybody's favorite, Toxic Rebrands. Oh, it's the Deja Vu Award. Then we're setting the record straight with the Wait, what? Award. Scrooge McDick, a surprise appearance from Joey, the lighting guy.

And stay tuned for the biggest award of the night, the Douche Canoe Award. You don't want to miss this. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, while you're listening to me talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you could be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance.

It's easy and you can save money by doing it from your phone. Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average. And auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner and more.

So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 24-7, 365 days a year, so you're protected no matter what. Multitask right now. Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive.

Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. National average 12-month savings of $744 by new customer survey who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations. This is an ad by BetterHelp. What are your self-care non-negotiables? The things you know make you feel better even when it's impossible to make time for them.

Like that workout you try to squeeze in between kids' activities, work, and everything else you have going on, and before you know it, it gets pushed to tomorrow. Sound familiar? But it's the moments when you feel like you have no time for yourself when those non-negotiables are more important than ever. Those are the things that keep you strong, healthy, motivated, and prepared to take on everything life demands of you. So why not make therapy one of them?

BetterHelp Online Therapy makes it easy to get started with affordable phone, video, or live chat sessions you can do from anywhere, and the option to message your therapist between sessions if anything comes up. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash darkhistory today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash darkhistory.

You don't do shit around here, girl. Hi. Sorry, we were just bickering a little bit. Anyways. Hi, welcome back. Did you have a great break? Me too. During break, I was Googling why Facebook decided to change their name to Meta. And I found some bullshit about Zuckerberg thinking it was a better name for what the company wants to do.

But I think social media changed the name because he was getting grilled by Congress. There have been plenty of instances on the show where someone thought if they just changed the name, you know, no one would know all the shitty things they did. But we know. We know. They didn't get away with it. Okay? So let's call them out on their shit and their toxic rebrands.

The nominees for Most Toxic Rebrand are Private Prisons for when the Corrections Corporation of America changed their name to CoreCivic. This was right after they built an immigrant detention center out of an old motel, forced inmates to work for 18-hour days in the middle of summer without air conditioning, and fired their guards while giving the inmates guns to police themselves.

Change your name all you want, you're still profiting off keeping humans locked up in horrible conditions. Next up, we have bananas for United Fruit Company, changing their name to Chiquita after their CEO committed suicide. Maybe it's not so good to head up a company accused of war crimes and violating counterterrorism laws.

Chiquita is a cute name, but the rebrand didn't stop survivors from suing them. And erased communities for Oscarville being blown up to make way for Lake Lanier. This added insult to injury since the town survived months of riots that ended with countless murders of its black residents. Even though Oscarville was covered up by a lake, we will not forget the horrible racism, pain, and suffering that happened there.

Whoa, love that. Okay, everybody. And the award for most toxic rebrand goes to...

Oh my god! Erased Communities! Wow! But this award's not just for Oscarville, nay nay. This award is for all the Erased Communities we've covered on this show. I'm talking about Seneca Village, which became Central Park, Palo Verde, La Loma, and Bishop, all of which were torn down to put up the Dodger Stadium, remember?

The Hawaiian Kingdom, which they say is the 50th state in the United States, but is really its own sovereign state. And while we're at it, let's throw in Rosewood and the countless indigenous communities that have been eliminated. I mean, if you think about it, the entire United States of America is an erased community.

Thank you so much, Arm. 365 days ago, we began a shocking journey that changed everything. Wait, is anybody having a little deja vu too? I feel like we've heard that all before. And that makes sense because the next Joanie Award is the Deja Vu Award. Unfortunately, as we've seen time and time again on this show, history does end up repeating itself. Now this award is going to acknowledge that unfortunate reality.

So, the nominees are: Yellow Journalism Because sensationalized news has popped up again today with the rise of cable news and what we see on social media. The news used to be, I don't know, the news, but yellow journalism led to the facts mattering so little that a whole ass war was manufactured by some wealthy white dudes. Facts not mattering?

Does that maybe sound a little familiar? A personal favorite, the 1900 bubonic plague outbreak in San Francisco. Remember that?

Well, you should, 'cause it's freaking COVID. But 100 years ago, need I say more? Oh my God. Next up we have eugenics. Eugenics wasn't actually an episode, but it's definitely a recurring theme in the archives of dark history. I'm talking about lobotomy to birth control to Americans with disabilities. It seems like a lot of the people in the US were doing their Nazi impersonation, trying to create what they think is the master race. Assholes.

So, this domination goes to an idea that has certainly seen its time come and go. Let's leave it in the past where it belongs, goddammit. Oh, I love this. Thank you so much. So, the award for Deja Vu goes to... Bubonic Plague in San Francisco! I'm so happy for you, Bubonic Plague. You are having a moment in history.

The bubonic outbreak and the COVID pandemic both started in China and sparked a lot of anti-Asian racism. The first trace of bubonic was found in March 1900. And COVID shut everything down in the United States in March 2020. And if that's not enough, the California governor called bubonic a "plague fake."

And Trump called COVID fake news. It's truly crazy how similar these stories are. Thank you so much. Don't go away. We'll be back with the Wait, What? and Scrooge McDick Awards. And stay tuned for that Joey the Lighting Guy appearance and the biggest award of the night, the Douche Canoe Award. ♪

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, while you're listening to me talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you could be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance.

It's easy and you can save money by doing it from your phone. Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average. And auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner, and more.

So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 24, 7, 365 days a year. So you're protected no matter what. Multitask right now. Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive.

This is an ad by BetterHelp.

What are your self-care non-negotiables? The things you know make you feel better, even when it's impossible to make time for them. Like that workout you try to squeeze in between kids' activities, work, and everything else you have going on, and before you know it, it gets pushed to tomorrow.

Sound familiar? But it's the moments when you feel like you have no time for yourself when those non-negotiables are more important than ever. Those are the things that keep you strong, healthy, motivated, and prepared to take on everything life demands of you. So why not make therapy one of them?

BetterHelp Online Therapy makes it easy to get started with affordable phone, video, or live chat sessions you can do from anywhere, and the option to message your therapist between sessions if anything comes up. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash darkhistory today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash darkhistory.

Now, if you can't tell, the Jonies are starting to get real. We started light. It was easy breezy and it was fun. But like history itself, things can take a turn and fast. So it's time to get into the darker stuff. We're talking about the stories we thought we knew, but it turned out, bitch, girl, motherfucker, we were so wrong. Okay? And we were like so wrong. These are the stories that made me go, wait, what?

So here are the nominees for the Wait What Award. Cannabis. The thing that made my head explode is that weed became illegal because of a team of powerful white guys who were scared of how amazing the cannabis plant was. From paper to clothing to medicine, hemp was poised to change the world. The problem was that our green goddess threatened the investments of those powerful men.

So they used racism and fear to criminalize it. Tuskegee. What I heard before I did this episode was that the government was secretly injecting syphilis into black men. But the true story is that the government was literally watching black men die of syphilis for over 30 years.

Even after penicillin was invented and after the Nazis were tried for performing similar medical experiments, these men still weren't treated. Why? To test the long-term effects of syphilis. Now, that's the definition of weight. What? Mm-hmm. The AIDS epidemic. Everything about this story is super crazy, but the most weight... What?

moment was for me was the fact that the Reagan administration was literally laughing off the entire AIDS epidemic whether it was douche canoe Larry Speaks or Ronnie Reagan himself it seems like every member of this administration thought the idea of thousands of people dying slow painful deaths was hilarious

And in case you missed it, just give it a Google. There are full audio recordings of the exchanges that will make you go, wait, what? Hawaii. I mean, I thought Hawaii was a state and it turns out it's not. It's not. And there's been a whole lot of underhanded shit going on for decades to prevent the rightful heirs of the Hawaiian kingdom from taking it back.

I was happy to find out there's a massive fight to make it so everybody in the world recognizes Hawaii as its own nation. Bananas. Bananas have given me a headache for I don't know how long. So I suspect there was something suspicious going on in there. But I didn't suspect what we found. The overthrow of democratically elected governments, the Bay of Pigs, and the Cuban Missile Crisis. I mean, holy shit.

All for bananas. That's the trifecta of wait what? And I know all the stuff from bananas was very wait what? But after learning it all, I just, I can't believe a store is just cool being called Banana Republic. What is that about? Did anyone solve that one? I don't know. Oh, thank you so much envelope. And the Joanie for the wait what goes to,

Ooh, I'm excited. I don't know what this one is. Bananas! Oh my God. Thank you, audience. I was trying to Google why bananas gave me a headache and I found out that banana companies literally took over half of the freaking world. I mean, what the?

The closest the world has ever been to a nuclear war was because of the United States, the Soviet Union, and freaking bananas. The worst part is that if nuclear war happened, bananas, they don't last that long. So they wouldn't even be good in a bomb shelter. The next worst part is, is I still don't know why bananas give me a headache. The third worst part is, what's up with Banana Republic, the store?

We'll circle back with that one. And speaking of headache, business owners, am I right? I'm not talking about that cute couple who owns the bakery down the street. I'm talking about the heads of unregulated corporations who put profit before human lives. Most of the crazy ass business owners we've covered on this show have a few things in common. They're wealthy, they're white, and they're cartoonishly evil. You know who else this sounds like?

Scrooge McDuck. But these guys are real.

So let's call these moneybags of shit Scrooge McDicks. The nominees for the Scrooge McDick Award are T. Don Hudo for Private Prisons. Not only did Don Hudo revolutionize the private prison game, but he cashed in and got into immigrant detention, making the United States a way worse place. He's so evil that we didn't even have time to cover all the atrocities in the episode.

Like, did you know that Don started something called prison rodeos where inmates play poker in the middle of an arena while huge snorting bulls sprint at them? Whoa, shit. Last one sitting at the table wins. No, this is like, we're very serious right now. Google it. Look it up right now. These rodeos still happen today.

So even though Don Hudo died in 2021, his gruesome legacy lives on and he did it all for the money. The shirtwaist kings for triangle shirtwaist, Max and Isaac. Remember? The guys who locked one of the only exits in the factory because they were afraid their workers would steal a shirtwaist.

I didn't spend too much time talking about what they were doing during the fire, but they were on the floor above the raging inferno and managed to escape. After they escaped, they immediately went on a PR recovery tour, saying they weren't at fault for anything. So the workers' deaths were the fault of their own. Super cool, Shirtwaist Kings. Mmm.

These dudes lived a long life after the fire and were never able to relive their glory as the shirt-waist kings. So maybe there's an ounce of justice in dark history after all. Maybe, you know. P.T. Barnum for the circus.

Don't let the movie The Greatest Showman fool you. P.T. Barnum was a grimy son of a gun and looked nothing like Hugh Jackman. His family called him "Tail" as in "tall tails," which is fitting because P.T. was mostly full of shit.

His career in entertainment began by exploiting a legal loophole that allowed him to lease a paralyzed black woman. Then he paraded her around New York, spouting an untrue story about her age and history. From there, this tycoon's reign of terror was highlighted by exploiting people, horrific train wrecks, not paying his workers, and grotesque animal abuse. Greatest show on earth? It is not.

Minor Cooper Keith for bananas. Minor went to Costa Rica to start a railroad. Well, it failed. But in the process, hundreds of people lost their lives, including his own uncle and brothers. So he turned to bananas.

and countless more deaths seemed to follow. Miner paved the way for other assholes like Sam the Banana Man, who took over where Miner left off. Miner is so despised that almost 50 years after his death, a Colombian artist built a monument of a pissed off machete-wielding banana worker as a memorial. It's said the monument faces north because that's the direction of Brooklyn, New York, where Miner was buried. Ooh.

Mm-hmm. Sabian Vonsoshaki for radium girls. Dr. Sabian is an interesting one because he was a scientist and normally we love them.

But this guy was also a businessman with a thirst for green. And he knew what he was doing was wrong. For instance, he convinced the workers of his New Jersey watch studio that the radium paint they were using wasn't poisonous. Even though he knew it was. He was also known to take tiny vials of radium and roll them around in his fingers because he thought it was fascinating.

Unsurprisingly, after all of this, Dr. Sabiam died of radium poisoning in 1928. Lou Pearlman from Boy Bands. Where do we even start with this guy? From creating a huge Ponzi scheme to committing mail, bank, and wire fraud, not to mention alleged assault.

This slophouse may be responsible for the boy band craze of the 90s and 2000s, but he's also responsible for wildly inappropriate behavior with underage boys that had some parents claiming he was a sexual predator. One of my personal favorites, we have DuPont. We didn't know the CEO in this one, so we're just gonna say to do all of DuPont. Fucked up shit is so ingrained in that company, there's no one to point a finger at.

They're all to blame. DuPont's products are literally poison and they know it. PFOAs are just the beginning. The company is like a James Bond villain, but with more money and more connections. Cover-ups, scandals, poisoning of water supplies, like come on you guys, cut that shit out. But they just keep going and going and going. If there was ever a company due for a toxic rebrand, it's them.

Thank you. And the winner is... Really? Don... Wait, T. Don Hudo for Private Prisons. Wow. Okay. I mean, Don was so freaking evil there wasn't enough time in his episode to get into all the evil shit he did. Torturing prisoners, strip searches, starvation, blasting cold air, and extended stays in dark rooms with no windows.

T. Don also ran a prison where a kid was murdered. I mean human rights violations galore. I don't know how you get much darker than him. When you hear the phrase "prison industrial complex" never forget that T. Don Hudo had a huge hand in making it the problem that it is today. Thank you T. Don Hudo for being shitty. Get away hand. Get away.

Coming up next, all the times dark history has made an impact on the world, biggest what the fuck moments, and stay tuned for the douche canoe award. Unfortunately, Joey the lighting guy can't make it tonight. He died choking on an apple.

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, while you're listening to me talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you could be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance.

It's easy and you can save money by doing it from your phone. Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average. And auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner, and more. So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 24, 7, 365 days a year so you're protected no matter what.

This is an ad by BetterHelp.com.

What are your self-care non-negotiables? The things you know make you feel better, even when it's impossible to make time for them. Like that workout you try to squeeze in between kids' activities, work, and everything else you have going on, and before you know it, it gets pushed to tomorrow.

Sound familiar? But it's the moments when you feel like you have no time for yourself when those non-negotiables are more important than ever. Those are the things that keep you strong, healthy, motivated, and prepared to take on everything life demands of you. So why not make therapy one of them?

BetterHelp Online Therapy makes it easy to get started with affordable phone, video, or live chat sessions you can do from anywhere, and the option to message your therapist between sessions if anything comes up. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash darkhistory today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash darkhistory.

Hi, hello, welcome back. We're in the homestretch now, coming up on the biggest awards of the night. The next award goes to the story that made a difference. You know, one of the goals of dark history is to show that history isn't as boring as it sometimes seemed in school.

It has a direct impact on our lives. If we're being honest, pretty much every episode had an impact in some way or another. And since I can't just retell every story, there are a couple I'd like to highlight again before we get to the award. A huge thank you to the ACLU for giving us a shout out on our conversion therapy, incarceration camps, private prisons, and residential schools episode. Thank you. Thank you.

Huge, that's huge. We were so proud when that happened. We were so proud. These are stories about large groups of people who were villainized just for being who they are. And the ACLU sharing them on social media made it possible for these stories to reach a bigger audience and be heard by even more people.

And it wasn't just the ACLU. In particular, I want to give a shout out to the residential schools comments section on YouTube. So many survivors and family members of survivors shared their amazing stories and the stories of their families who went through the same atrocities described in that episode.

That's so nice.

Another story that had a huge impact was our very first episode, DuPont. We didn't start the conversation about this slimy company, but thanks to all of you listening out there, more people now know just how harmful PFOAs are.

And that's great. But in terms of sheer impact, there's one story in which dark history has truly made a difference. And that story is Rosewood. Dark history can mean different things to different people, but I look at it as having two meanings. It could mean something dark as in awful or something that's been buried and needs to see the light of day. The Rosewood Massacre is the perfect example of a story that fits both of those definitions.

It recounts the horrific story about a white mob destroying a predominantly black town. It's so awful and hard to believe something positive can even come out of something so disturbing. But after we aired this episode, you, our listeners, our amazing listeners, got together and helped us raise funds for the Rosewood Foundation.

With the money raised from this campaign, the last surviving structure from the town where the massacre took place is going to be relocated in order to create a memorial and living history museum.

but the work isn't done yet. The Real Rosewood Foundation is still accepting donations today. You can contribute at therealrosewoodflorida.wordpress.com. I'll also leave it down in the description box. Okay, here we go. The final three awards of the night. Have you ever listened to Dark History and thought to yourself, WTF? I did not know that. Because this is my show. I do that a lot. A

A lot, a lot. Like when we talked about MKUltra and how I learned about how the CIA bought literally all of the global LSD supply, sound like a party, I didn't know that right at the center of the story was a cute little robo-kitty. Oh, remember the robo-kitty? The cat they sewed a microphone into but didn't train?

So he ended up prancing into traffic and dying. I'm not laughing at that, but like, it's kind of funny. My point is, this next award is for the moment that really made me go WTF. More than any other story.

Here are the nominees. The MOVE bombings. In 1985, the Philly police decided to evict the activist organization MOVE in the most horrible way possible by dropping two bombs on their home in a residential neighborhood in the middle of a major city. Because of this, 11 people died, 61 houses were destroyed, and 250 were left homeless.

not to mention the ramifications the neighborhood and survivors are still dealing with almost 40 years later. Here's a gross dark history tie-in. Guess who the manufacturer of those bombs were? DuPont.

We see you, DuPont. We fucking see you. Next up, the Triangle Shirtwaist Fire. Those dick weasels were so worried about employees stealing clothes from the Triangle Shirtwaist factory, they locked the door of one of the only exits on their floor. When a fire broke out, countless workers, mostly women, rushed the only exit, but most of them couldn't fit through the door.

The pure panic and chaos led to the deaths of 123 women and 23 men. All while the shirtwaist kings managed to escape with their lives and with zero jail time. Who knew the birth control pill was a racist creation invented to help with population control?

Countless women were forced into sterilization during the birth control pill trials in Puerto Rico. It devastated the fertility of an entire nation. In fact, today, Puerto Rico has the sixth lowest fertility rate on earth. So yeah, the birth control pill experiment created shockwaves still felt today. We all know drug companies can be quite evil, but this evil?

And with the beloved birth control pill, truly jaw dropping. Now this story is one I had no idea even existed until this show. And it is one of the craziest, darkest ones. The Sicilian lynchings was very much so a WTF moment.

Back in 1890, the beloved chief of police was gunned down in cold blood, and his killing set off a chain of events that led to 20,000 people literally losing their minds. They stormed the streets, targeted every Italian immigrant they could find, and ended up breaking into an armed prison to lynch nine Sicilian men.

with no proof other than racism. The doctors riots were freaking nuts. Remember when doctors were systematically hunted down because they were robbing graves so they could dissect the bodies of the formerly enslaved? Oh you know what I actually forgot about that until right now. That was wild and that dude waved a severed arm out the window to scare that little kid remember?

Yeah, I forgot about that. Yep, I remember. All of this happened 12 years after the United States became a country. So yeah, the bar was low from the get-go. All of these stories and so many of the others we've covered are batshit bananas. Just truly, absolutely insane.

the cigarette diet from diet culture, student loans killing the financial future of millions, people having to crawl up to the steps of Congress just to get equal rights with the ADA. I mean, all that shit with Nestle. Oof. And whatever the fuck the dancing plague was, am I right? What was that? But the winner of this category goes to a story that's so nuts, yet so unknown to most of us. I mean, you can't even find most of the information online.

Thank you so much hand or arm. The doctor's thing. You get it? Yeah, you get it. All right. And the winner is... Oh my gosh. Come on up here, Movebombing. All right. Frank Rizzo, you don't get a gift basket. You get the fuck out of here. Goodbye. Thank you.

Now, I know we all have our favorite episodes of our favorite series. I know my favorite episode of Jerry Springer was the one where the goth clown revealed to the preppy elephant he was his biological father. I was like, what the fuck is with the circus theme? And then Jerry, he got chair thrown at him.

Yeah, I know television. I love it. Anyway, I hope you have some dark history favorites yourself. If you do, please let me know down below. I asked our Academy to vote on some of their dark history favorites, and here's what they came up with. Our first nominee is...

Sicilian lynchings. That's a favorite, you guys are sick. Remember that's the murder of a beloved police chief that ends up with 20,000 people storming the streets, harassing Italian immigrants, then breaking into an armed prison to lynch nine Sicilian men?

The next nominee is the Americans with Disabilities Act. I really like this episode because it's the rare story that ends on a note of hope. All the events we talked about on the way to make the ADA happen, from the 504 sit-in to the Capitol crawl, made me feel okay about the world for once.

Next up, we got our girl cannabis. This episode was all about the green goddess and the journey from her birthplace in Central Asia all the way to her criminalization in the United States. And let me tell you, it was a wild ride seeing how much people loved her, how much she changed the world, and how much the United States was like, nah, fuck that.

But this one was like a greatest hits of dark history. No list of favorite episodes is complete without Lobotomy. That one has everything. Sketchy Kennedy shit, a surgeon who didn't believe in germs, forced lobotomies on queer people, and even Joey, the lighting guy. When you think of dark history as a whole, this episode's really got it all.

Our final nominee is menstruation, which is a hard thing to call a favorite because you know, it's not really the best thing ever. Kind of sucks. Not the episode, but menstruation itself. But it was important to learn about so many cultures and so many people still view it as something to hide and be embarrassed about. Stop the shame and grab the toads. Remember the toads? You remember the toads. All right, the award goes to, thank you disembodied arm,

There's nothing inside! It's--oh! It's empty! I'm choosing... menstruation. Come on up here, menstruation! Get your little ass over here! That's right. Menstruation was one of my favorites because of, uh, the idea that we're wizards. You're a wizard, Harry. Anybody? Remember? The wizards? The frogs? The shoving random stuff up our hoo-hah? I don't know. I still--I love it. Thank you.

Coming up next, the final award of the night, the douche canoe. And now, a moment of silence for Joey, the lighting guy.

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Welcome back to the first annual Joanie Awards. Thank you for joining us. We've come to the final award of the night, the grandmama of them all, the Douche Canoe Award. This is our Douche Canoe Award. How do you like it, Joan?

Amazing. I know the suspense is killing everyone. Who is going to be the winner of the first Douche Canoe Award 2022? And, in case it needs explaining, the Douche Canoe Award goes to the person who showed us time and time again that they're the biggest fucking douche of all the douches. And let me be clear, I'm using this title for the award to keep things fun and light.

But don't get me wrong, all these nominees have done some massively atrocious things throughout time, so like, okay? Their shitty actions have had ripple effects throughout generations, many of which, if not all, are still felt today. Without further adoosh, the winner is... And this year's winner goes to a man who needs no a- Ah!

Needs no introduction. I mean, he adorns the walls of Congress. There are statues of him across the good ol' United States of America, and many of us carry his face around in our pockets. That's right, the Douche Canoe Award goes to King D himself.

Andrew freaking Basalt Jackson. Come on up and get your award, Andrew. Oh wait, you can't 'cause you're dead. Hell yeah. Before people get all up in arms about him being a president or whatever, just remember, the amount of destruction and blood on this guy's hands, come on, you guys, just remember that shit.

From cheating in duels like a psycho to raking it up and down the Carolinas, to finding a baby and forcing it to become his son. This racist frontiersman turned lawyer, turned gambler, turned judge, who couldn't hear the word no, stole more land than climate change. The handiwork of this year's Douche Canoe Award winner led to both the Indian Removal Act and the Trail of Tears.

I mean, the man destroyed the freaking economy in the private prisons episode too. And a solid argument can be made for residential schools as well. It's like the phrase "he's a fucking douche" was coined specifically for him. There you go, Andrew. Thank you. Wow, what a year it's been. First of all, I want to thank you for joining me on this journey down the silk roads of dark history. We laughed, we cried,

I threw up a little in my mouth. Oh, I sweat a lot because it gets real hot in this room. Man. Anyway, sometimes we got drunk and sometimes it was illegal. Prohibition, babe. But that's dark history. I don't know about you, but I like to dip my brain in hand sanitizer and just sleep for a week. That's exactly what I'm going to do. But that's what the DuPonts, Andrew Jackson, and P.T. Barnum's of the world want us to do. So we're not going to do that. Wow.

"Well, I'm gonna do that and then I won't do that." We shall persevere. Why? Because if dark history has taught us anything, it's that we need to stand up, stand together.

Be loud. We need to go out and seek information and if anything feels suspicious or auspicious, we gotta ask those questions. And before I go, I gotta say a huge thank you to you, my friends who have been listening and watching.

When I first came up with the idea to take a journey through the pages of dark history, I didn't know, I honestly did not know how this was gonna be received, but the love, support and participation and patience from all of you has really been a freaking blessing.

The response has been so unexpected and so beautiful and I am forever grateful. Wanting more? Join me over on my YouTube where you can watch these episodes and all of the Dark History episodes after the podcast airs and also catch my Murder, Mystery, and Makeup wish drops on Mondays. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day. You make good choices and I'll be talking to you real soon. Goodbye.

Dark History is an Audioboom original. This podcast is executive produced by Bailey Sarian, Kim Jacobs, Dunia McNeely from 3Arts, Justin Cummins, and Claire Turner from Wheelhouse DNA. Produced by Lexi Kiven. Writers Jed Bookow, Joey Scavuzzo, and Kim Yagen. Edited by Jim Lucci. Shot by Tafadzwa Nemarundwey.

And I'm your host, Bailey Sarian. Thank you. Thank you. It's been real.