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This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, while you're listening to me talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you could be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance.
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Hi friends! How are you? I hope you're having a wonderful day today. My name is Bailey Sarian and I'd like to welcome you to the Library of Dark History.
Applause, applause. Thank you. Thank you. I'm here all day. This is a safe space for all the curious cats out there who are like, hey, Bailey, isn't history really super boring, actually? Let me tell you, no, this is not boring. This is actually very interesting stuff we're talking about. We're going to learn all the dark, mysterious, dramatic stories that maybe you didn't learn about in school. Okay, it's a lot of fun. It sounds boring, but it's a lot of fun. I'm having a blast. Are you? Great.
So today's story is about Hawaii. So you're probably wondering, well, what the heck is going on with Hawaii? Like, what could be dark about that? Well, I mean, first of all, it wouldn't be surprising if George Lucas heard the story of Hawaii and that's how he came up with Star Wars. Seriously, this story has real life rebels, a legit evil empire, and its very own Princess Leia.
Yep, that's right. But I'm not talking about a galaxy far, far away. I'm talking about a little bit of paradise in the Pacific that would one day become the 50th state. Now,
Now before I get into this story, Hawaii has a very complicated history that crosses over international waters into some crazy legal shenanigans. There are some important things we won't have time to cover, but I definitely suggest you do some digging on your own, if you're a curious cat like myself, and think of that as maybe homework.
I know, I'm sorry. I don't mean to give you homework, but it's like extra homework if you want to know more. It's an option. Also, if you're new here, hi, my name is Bailey and I cannot pronounce names. Okay? And this story, let me tell you, it's got some names that are going to be challenging to me and I don't mean any disrespect. I'm going to try my damnest best. Damnest best, is that a word? So don't drag me in the comments too bad, okay?
I'm gonna mess this up, but I'm trying my goddamn best. And that's all that matters, is that you try your best too. Thank you, that was my motivational speech for today. Okay, so let me open up my book to chapter Hawaii. Here I go. You know, this book is getting heavier and heavier as time goes on. It's just full of dark secrets. Oh, here we go. Mm, ooh, it's not looking good. When does it ever? Okay, you ready, Joan? Mm.
Come on, girls. Let's go, girls. So this story takes place a long time ago on some islands far, far away.
Okay, we're going back to 1778. There was a British sailor named Captain James Cook who was sailing around the Pacific Ocean with a few of his men. He's looking for different lands that the British Empire could colonize. Now, James was actually looking for Australia when he came across a beautiful tropical paradise. It was untouched by colonization. It turns out this place James had landed on was a series of islands known as the Kingdom of Hawaii.
Captain James received a warm welcome from the islanders because their mothers raised them right, and also because it was Makahiki, which was a time of celebration and peace. At the time, Hawaii had two seasons: peace season and war season. The seasons were determined by their harvesting calendar. Basically, during the rainy season, war and fighting was forbidden so that the land could be nourished
and undisturbed to help for the next year's harvest.
So the first time James was there, it was like no fighting time. No, no fighting, right? James was not a very good house guest, and he took advantage of their hospitality. When James left the kingdom of Hawaii, he would tell his friends on the ship that the people of Hawaii considered him a god, and he couldn't wait to return to settle the land there. Which is kind of a weird thing to say about a place that's already settled with thousands of years of history, but...
Sure, James. Sure. James ran into some crazy storms and his ship ended up getting damaged and he had to like turn back around.
By the time James returned to the islands, it was no longer the season of peace. And the Hawaiian people were not going to put up with his shit this time. James wasn't used to being told no. And when Hawaiians refused his demands, James started fights with the local chiefs and burned down people's homes. In retaliation, the people of Hawaii stole one of James' rowboats. And James was very upset about this. He's like, how could they do this to me? I am a god to these people.
So James gets his men together and kidnaps many of the women in the villages as well as the Hawaiian king to use as a bargaining chip. From here, all hell breaks loose. At one point in the battle, a Hawaiian chief named Kanaina grabbed James from behind and it was just pure chaos all around. And it was all over a freaking rowboat.
That's what they were fighting over. Conina and another chief ended up killing Captain James in defense during the violent clash. Well, as you can imagine...
It pissed off Captain James' soldiers and they decided to retaliate. Now, eventually the fighting died down and everybody went their separate ways. Even though Captain James had pulled all that shit, the Hawaiian people still wanted to be diplomatic about his death. So they ended up giving him a traditional burial on the islands and gave his soldiers some of his bones so that they could do a burial at sea. The Hawaiians weren't intimidated by Europe or England,
but they wanted to have a good relationship with them. They didn't want anything bad to happen. Even though the Hawaiians successfully fought off James and his men, they didn't stop others from trying to get a piece of Hawaii for themselves. Hawaii was a paradise full of riches that everyone wanted to get their hands on. And this will be a reoccurring theme. So by 1791, a king by the name of Kamehameha, I'm so sorry, I know I got that wrong, but I'm, Kamehameha, no disrespect, ascended to the throne.
He was a well-liked king because he always said he cared for the Hawaiian people first and foremost, but also he had an eye towards the future.
You see, Kamehameha knew that there were outsiders coming. And not only was Hawaii on a trade route, it was full of money-making potential. From fertile farmlands to pearls to whales that could be killed for oil. I mean, the possibilities were endless. And not only this, but missionaries were making their rounds as well. One thing the British realized while they were living on Hawaiian land was how easy it was to grow sugar cane, which is a hot commodity.
Other than being where sugar comes from, sugar canes used for all sorts of stuff. I mean, from baking bread to making alcohol, you know. So they set up huge plantations all over the place and started growing the stuff and it sold like crazy. Suddenly, the sugar industry was exploding and attracting people from all parts of the globe. Because money, you know, money. Of course, you get it, money.
So instead of constantly being at war with the outsiders, the king decided to treat them with respect and let them live on their land. But that's not how the outsiders saw it. They took it to mean that Hawaiians had given them the land and in doing so, given them control. And things would stay like this for a while. And over time, the colonizers positioned themselves to take the land out from under the Hawaiians.
The king had started to notice some of the shady planning these guests were putting into place. So in 1840, in order to maintain control, the new Hawaiian king decided to change the way Hawaii was run. Now he modeled the new system on the United States Congress. So this king is doing everything he can to preserve peace and make sure they don't lose their power to outside forces. Because people are coming trying to snatch shit up, okay?
So now there's this new congressional system in place that occupiers in Hawaii see a way to have even more say in the government. They had already shown their influence by doing things like banning hula dancing in Hawaii.
And not just hula dancing, a lot of traditional Hawaiian culture was also forbidden, which makes absolutely no sense. Even the Hawaiian language started getting banned in schools. But the occupiers wanted more than simply banning things. A lot of these occupiers were from the United States. So they started to send letters back to the U.S. government saying stuff like, Hey, hi, how's it going? What's up? Nothing.
Nothing much here. We should like try and figure out a way to take this land. There's a ton of resources out here and we can make a lot of money. So the occupiers asked for a sit down meeting with the king and they had a proposition. They proposed to the king that Hawaii become part of the United States. They told the king if Hawaii was part of the US, the military would be able to protect them from occupation. Oh, but wait, wasn't the United States military currently the ones doing the occupying?
The king considers this, but because he cared about preserving the independence of Hawaii and its culture, he says, "Thanks, but we're good. We're doing just fine." Well, this does not go over so well with the occupiers because they will only take a yes for an answer. Because as you've probably gathered from past episodes here on Dark History, when you tell a person no, especially in the 1800s,
Shit does not go over too well. Oh, no, it does not. So these occupiers did what occupiers do best when they don't get their way. They kick, they scream, they cry. They don't huff and puff and uh.
And then they start screaming about corruption and told anyone who would listen that the government needed to change. So to take care of this, the occupiers decided to create a secret society called the Hawaiian League. The Hawaiian League was focused on completely overthrowing the government and rebuilding it from the ground up. Some may even call this a coup, AKA when people take over the government, thank you. But there was one guy who really led the charge and became the worst thing to happen to Hawaii.
Enter to the scene, Sanford B. Dole. But first we're gonna pause for an ad break. I'm gonna get me, what are those Dole whip things you get at Disneyland?
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, while you're listening to me talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you could be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance.
It's easy and you can save money by doing it from your phone. Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average. And auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner, and more. So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 24, 7, 365 days a year so you're protected no matter what.
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What are your self-care non-negotiables? The things you know make you feel better, even when it's impossible to make time for them. Like that workout you try to squeeze in between kids' activities, work, and everything else you have going on, and before you know it, it gets pushed to tomorrow.
Sound familiar? But it's the moments when you feel like you have no time for yourself when those non-negotiables are more important than ever. Those are the things that keep you strong, healthy, motivated, and prepared to take on everything life demands of you. So why not make therapy one of them?
Now, let's get back to today's story.
And we're back. So let's talk about Sanford Dole. Mr. Dole. Sounds familiar, doesn't it? Well, he was born in Hawaii in 1844. Now you may recognize the name Dole because of the pineapple company. Now that wasn't Sanford, but the pineapple man was his cousin, Small World, and Sanford did help his cousin a little. Anyway, Sanford's parents were American missionaries from Maine, and he grew up in Hawaii.
Now, after attending college in the United States, Mr. Dole became a lawyer in Hawaii in 1868, which meant he had to give up his United States citizenship. Now, this is important to remember because from that point on, Sanford was legally a native Hawaiian. The original definition for Hawaiian is a nationality, not a race. It is short for Hawaiian subject, like American is short for American citizen. So this is how Sanford is a native Hawaiian.
if that makes any sense. You get it. Which makes what he ends up doing even more backstabby. So while Sanford was studying to become a lawyer, he got introduced to an entirely different world than the one that he had grown up in. Suddenly, Sanford's meeting all these wealthy lawyers and plantation owners, and he starts hearing about the movement to have Hawaii become a U.S. territory. And he's like, oh my god, I'd
I love that for us. And I'm a native Hawaiian. This is so up my alley. So he decides to do whatever he can to help the movement. In the process, Sanford ends up running for and winning a spot in the Hawaiian government. So he is actually working directly under King Kalakaua.
I'm so sorry. But yes, if you remember from earlier, Stanford was a member of the super suspicious secret society, the Hawaiian League. Now, again, their main goal was to force Hawaii to become part of the United States. And the Hawaiian League had been claiming corruption the whole time without any real evidence of corruption. That is until Stanford used his status as a government official to give out insider information.
One big piece of intel that Sanford heard about was how someone tried to bribe the king with over $70,000 in order to let them sell opium in Hawaii. Fucking party, you know? Opium. Fuck yeah. But the opium dealer changed his mind and decided to sell his drugs in China instead. So he asked for the king to give the bribe money back. He's like, give me my money back, you know?
He didn't do anything for me. Now to the secret Hawaiian society. This was proof of all the corruption within the Hawaiian government. So things start to get messy for King Kalakaua. Now he discovered members of his cabinet were attending town hall meetings that discussed the king's corruption. So there's people going behind his back, doing him dirty.
There's propaganda posters being put up all over Hawaii directly tying him to the opium drama. And his own people stopped talking to him about official government business. Now, he felt like everywhere he went, he was being watched. And like people were just talking behind his back.
because they were. And it turns out, I mean, he was right to feel paranoid because one day in June, 1887, Sanford Dole, the Hawaiian League, and an armed militia called the Honolulu Rifles stormed the King's Palace.
This was a straight up rebellion now and there wasn't a damn thing King Kalakaua could do about it. So the Hawaiian League had spun things to make it seem like they were marching on the palace of a corrupt king for the good of the people. But when you take a closer look at the list of demands they had, you can see their intentions were a little more selfish. For example, the Hawaiian League wanted to get rid of all the king's people and replace them with an all new cabinet full of their own members.
Another demand was to change the law so only rich plantation owners would be allowed to vote.
Because it would help them take control if they were the only ones who could vote. Great. So of course the king didn't want to agree to any of this. I mean, it was clear to him that this did not benefit the Hawaiian people at all. But the Hawaiian League forced the king to sign a new Hawaiian constitution at gunpoint. Yes, drama. This constitution has become known as the Bayonet Constitution because they had bayonets
pointed at him when all of them signed it. A bayonet, if you don't know, it's not a hat because that's what I was thinking it was. That's not a bayonet. It's a long gun with like a knife on the end of it. Drama. That's a bayonet. What am I thinking of? Isn't there a hat called a bayonet? A bonnet. Sorry. I was...
You guys, sometimes my brain no worky. Okay. So this, the thing is, if you shove a bayonet in anyone's face, they will probably do whatever it is you want, you know. Turns out, hey, this is actually illegal and also makes this whole bayonet constitution not very legit. You
But the Hawaiian League didn't care how legit it looked to anybody. They got the signatures they needed. And they immediately used their exclusive new voting system to elect a bunch of new government officials who were more rich, wealthy, wealthy.
white men. And suddenly, there was lots of support from the new Hawaiian government to join the United States. Now this new government, I'm using quotes here, am I? Yes, I am. Quotes, government did not completely get rid of the king. They just took away all of his power. So he got to keep the title. Yeah, he's king, but he's not really like running the show or anything.
And of course, the native Hawaiian population was told, eh, just deal with it. So let's do a little recap on what just happened, a play by play. The wealthy plantation owners approached the king with a deal to make Hawaii part of the United States. The king said no. The wealthy white guys, they came with a plan to take the king's power by force, even though he welcomed them to the islands. This is more confusing than the story I just told you. In conclusion, Hawaiians had everything stolen from them.
Point blank period. Thank you. Come back around, reverse, backspace, backspace, backspace. Thank you. Enter. Control-Alt-Delete. Bye.
In 1891, King Kalakaua died and his sister became queen. The queen's name was Liliuokalani. I tried my best. And she really was not going to put up with this shit, okay? The queen was going to stop at nothing to get the Hawaiian people their land back, including staging a rebellion. You go, girl. You go.
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, while you're listening to me talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you could be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance.
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Your cash back really adds up. So now we're going to talk about a literal queen who was a super badass. Let me tell you about her real quick.
Lili'uokalani was born on September 2nd, 1838, and would attend the Royal School for Hawaii's Young Nobility. This is a school where kings learn how to be kings and queens learn how to be queens. She had a big personality and was really loved by the people, which made her the obvious choice when it came time for her to take the throne. Remember earlier when I talked about how like this is kind of like Star Wars? Yeah.
Well, Lili'u'u'u'u Kalani was legit a real-life Princess Leia, and she was going to take back her homeland. Her first order of business was to get rid of the bullshit, illegal bayonet constitution. So Lili'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u
Plus, anybody living in Hawaii who was born in America or Europe would completely lose the right to vote, effectively giving voting power back to the Hawaiian people. Now, the queen, she would travel on horseback around each island and speak with the native Hawaiians to gain support. And people loved...
loved her and loved all of her ideas. Almost all of the native population was eager to enact this new constitution so they could take back control of their land. But word of the queen's intentions start to spread around the islands and the wealthy plantation owners are like, oh shit, you know, this woman means business.
So before the constitution can get off the ground, they organize a counterattack against Queen El in the form of a group called the Committee of Safety. On paper, this group was intended to keep the Hawaiian people safe from outside influence.
But in reality, this committee's goal was to topple the monarchy and force Hawaii to become part of the United States. So the committee very quickly gets the United States government involved and they started claiming that the outside influence they were protecting Hawaii against was none other than the Queen herself.
and anybody who was loyal to her. They even convinced the United States to send armed mercenaries to Hawaii with orders to protect American lives and property. Nothing about protecting Hawaiian lives and property, just American, even though it's all the Hawaiians land.
There's like a constant theme throughout our history, is there not? Unfortunately, the committee's plan worked and they forced the queen to give all of her power over to them in 1893. She officially gave a speech on the steps of her palace, surrendering all of her power to a temporary government made up of her former cabinet members.
This temporary government was known as the Republic of Hawaii, and they made their leader none other than Sanford B. Dole. But here's the thing. Lili'u'uokalani only gave up her political power. She never gave up her title as head of the monarchy. And since she didn't give up her title, this meant that technically, legally, Hawaii was still a monarchy. And it is still even today.
Now, this is important much later on, so pack it up and store it for later. But right now, as far as the Republic of Hawaii was concerned, they believed the queen was out of the picture.
So with the queen gone, kind of, there was only one thing left to do, give Hawaii to the United States. But one super big thing to flag here, at this point, there is no formal legally binding agreement between the Hawaiians and these occupiers. So again, legally, the land still belonged to Hawaii and the queen. And the queen had inspired the people so much that for the Hawaiians, the fight wasn't over.
Rumors of rebellion started to reach Sanford Dole, and over the course of the next year, there were a number of failed attacks against the Republic of Hawaii. Even though the attacks were thwarted, isn't that fun? Thwarted. Thwarted. Thwarted. The Republic of Hawaii knew it had to shut the rebellion down. So they set up armed mercenaries all over the entire territory of Hawaii.
There were literally soldiers on every corner of every street. Businesses were shut down. I mean, it was just full-blown martial law. Over the course of the next year, things started heating up more and more. The native Hawaiians wanted their country back. And as a reminder, the Bayonet Constitution, I mean, the thing they were using to say they owned Hawaii now was not legally binding. Plus, the people loved everything the queen had proposed in her new constitution.
Plus, every day, Sanford's government gave them a new reason to get angrier and angrier. So, the people of Hawaii gave Sanford Dole's government a taste of their own medicine and started planning the biggest rebellion against the Republic of Hawaii yet.
thwarted. The queen knew preparations were being made to overthrow the Republic, but she refused to give up any information about the growing rebellion whenever any government official asked her. Many historians think the rebellion was being planned at the queen's new house, which is kind of just a testament of like how cool she was. If you want to see for yourself how awesome this woman was, the queen's diary is available to read
for free online. And there's this whole cool bit where she theorizes what those meetings looked like. It's very cool. Highly recommend you check it out. Please, Jill. Okay, so back to the story. So it's now January 6, 1895. The Hawaiians were ready. It
It was time for the Republic to get the F out of there. So two groups began setting up at the edge of town, preparing for battle by unloading guns from unmarked crates. A third group was set to lead 100 men to the palace to overthrow the government, just waiting for the signal to go. Now, this was the moment everybody had been waiting for, but there was just one problem. There were spies in the group. Spies.
Spies. I'm whispering because they're listening. It turns out a few of the people helping plan the rebellion were working for the Republic of Hawaii. Boo. So when the third group started marching to the palace, there were already Republic soldiers and mercenaries waiting in the streets. And as soon as they saw each other, a huge gunfight broke out.
So we don't exactly know who fired first, but once the groups waiting all over the city of Honolulu heard gunfire, all hell broke loose. There was the main fight going down at the palace, and then there was like numerous other little fights going on throughout the island. Some of the fights that broke out lasted for days. At first, the rebellion actually managed to make the soldiers retreat. But then the Republic of Hawaii declared martial law again and pulled out the big guns.
Suddenly, the streets were swarming with over a thousand soldiers from the Republic of Hawaii. I mean, it didn't matter how many people believed in the queen and her cause. The rebels quickly became outnumbered. This fight lasted just under two weeks. And in the end, the republic defeated the rebels.
It didn't take long for the Republic of Hawaii to realize the queen had been involved with the rebellion. They arrested her and over 350 other native Hawaiians, charging them with treason. What makes this interesting is that it was characterized as a rebellion against a rebellion. It's kind of like a double negative, right? This basically means that they're standing up against people who stole shit from them.
A group of natives fighting to save their own land, charged with treason against an illegal government they never wanted. Think about that. They weren't rebels. They were loyal Hawaiian nationals trying to stop occupiers and invaders. Hello? Great. So the queen was sentenced to five years of hard labor.
But a few of the people involved were given death sentences. Now, the queen was given a choice. The Republic told Lily Oukalani she could save their lives if she just announced to the people of Hawaii that she was 100% no longer their queen. That is so fucked up. I mean, she had to pretty much say she's not in power. She doesn't have a title. Nothing.
And by doing this, she would completely abolish the monarchy. Lili'u'u'u Kalani said she would rather die than tell her people she wasn't their queen. And fortunately, it didn't get that far because orders came from the United States telling the Republic to back down.
So they changed the sentencing and luckily nobody died. But the queen was still out of power and now the Republic of Hawaii could focus on making Hawaii officially part of the United States. I've talked about this numerous times before, but the late 1800s were all about expanding and taking. The United States government was eager to gain more land and it meant taking everything, like parts of Mexico, parts of Canada, Cuba, and of course, Hawaii.
And at first, many Americans were on board with adding Hawaii to the United States. But the United States president at the time, Grover Cleveland, wasn't convinced Hawaii should join the United States. You see, back when Sanford was pushing to get Hawaii added as, you know, United States territory.
The president had created a special committee to try to figure out if the overthrow of the queen was even legal in the first place. And this committee wrote a report which sparked a whole lot of drama in Washington, D.C. Oh, but first I have to pause for an ad break. I'm sorry, BRB. ♪
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, while you're listening to me talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you could be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance.
It's easy and you can save money by doing it from your phone. Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average. And auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner and more.
So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 24-7, 365 days a year, so you're protected no matter what. Multitask right now. Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive.
Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. National average 12-month savings of $744 by new customer surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations. This is an ad by BetterHelp. What are your self-care non-negotiables? The things you know make you feel better even when it's impossible to make time for them.
Like that workout you try to squeeze in between kids' activities, work, and everything else you have going on, and before you know it, it gets pushed to tomorrow. Sound familiar? But it's the moments when you feel like you have no time for yourself when those non-negotiables are more important than ever. Those are the things that keep you strong, healthy, motivated, and prepared to take on everything life demands of you. So why not make therapy one of them?
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Okay, and we're back. So this report was known as the Blount Report, found that the overthrow of the monarchy in Hawaii was totally illegal and it was an act of war by an American without the approval of Congress. So at first, it looked like things were going to work out for the people of Hawaii. And the president immediately ordered Sanford Dole to dissolve his fake government and reinstate the queen's monarchy. Hooray!
But there was one condition. The queen was not allowed to punish Sanford and the occupiers for their crazy-ass takeover. And as you can imagine, the queen did not agree to this. And Sanford refused to give up power, of course. So now the United States Senate launched its own investigation. This is exhausting.
This is where shit starts to get weird. You see the Senate investigation known as the Morgan Report concluded the opposite of the committee's report and decided that Sanford's actions were totally legal. And this led to a gridlock in the government and nobody really did anything with Hawaii for a few years until new president came into town, William McKinley. Yeah, this guy was like, this guy, this new president, I should say, was very eager to expand the United States.
So he went in super hard and was like, we need to get Hawaii ASAP. And Sanford was super excited because this new president was going to support what Sanford did in the first place, getting Hawaii part of the United States. Sanford traveled all the way to Washington, D.C. to seal Hawaii's fate. And it worked because in 1898, Congress approved the process that led to Hawaii officially becoming a U.S. territory. Bonus, Sanford got to be governor of it.
Jesus Christ. In the end, the United States got Hawaii. Now that the United States had successfully stolen the land, business exploded in Hawaii. This is where Sanford's cousin, James Dole, the pineapple guy, comes into the picture. Even though pineapples aren't even native to Hawaii, James figured out pineapples grew very easily in the tropical environment, and he thought pineapple plantations would make him a lot of money.
Money. And boy, was he right. He made a ton of cash off of his pineapple business and at one point took over the entire island of Oahu just for pineapples. When people associate pineapples with Hawaii, James Dole is the reason why. So for a while, the entire state of Hawaii was just pineapple, coffee,
sugar plantations, and the owners of these plantations were completely running the place. Native Hawaiians couldn't live off of the land anymore because the land was totally exploited by these businesses and all other local industries were put out of business too. So native Hawaiians were forced to get jobs on these plantations in order to survive. In addition to its super fertile land, Hawaii also had a really strategic military placement.
So this was just another reason that the United States really pushed to take Hawaii.
and they made it official in 1908. The United States established a naval station on the island of Oahu. It became known as Pearl Harbor. This base became super important to the United States military presence in the Pacific Ocean, and it made it easier for battleships and warplanes to reach Asia. I bring this up because I've talked about the Pearl Harbor attacks in 1941 on this show before, but something I haven't talked about is how Hawaii was not even a state when that happened.
Yeah, Hawaii became a state in 1959. That wasn't even that long ago, it seems like, right? It's almost 18 years after the attack on Pearl Harbor. Some confusing shit, you know what I'm saying? So clearly, the history of Hawaii and how the United States took it is very complicated, shady, pretty frustrating. The United States stole the land since they never actually agreed to give it up. And the biggest thing to remember here is that in order for an occupier to legally obtain new land...
Both parties need to sign a treaty recognizing that the land is being handed over. Well, there's no formal treaty between the United States and the Kingdom of Hawaii. It doesn't exist.
The Kingdom of Hawaii never gave their nation to the occupiers. But the United States didn't care. They took it how they wanted to. So obviously Native Hawaiians have been protesting Hawaii's title of statehood ever since. Because technically, if we look at international laws, occupation of land without a legally binding treaty is considered a war crime. Point blank period. Backspace, control, or delete. Goodbye.
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Now, let's get back to the story.
Hi, and we're back. The United States government finally acknowledged the hostile takeover of Hawaii with the Blount Report, as well as the apology resolution of 1993. President Bill Clinton finally apologized on behalf of the United States. But like, what does that do? I don't know. But since Hawaii's occupation by the United States began over 100 years ago, there has been an active effort in Hawaii to restore the government of Hawaiian kingdom through something called a
a regency. A regency is what you get when the king or queen of a monarchy is unable to rule because they're dead or sick. And right now, Hawaii doesn't have a monarch, so they have a regent. So you're probably thinking, why don't they just bring Queen El's descendants to the throne? Well, you see, the queen had three children, but they were all adopted. And for any of them to take the throne, the queen would have had to directly name one of them as a successor in her will.
Under the conditions of the old 1864 Hawaiian constitution, if the king or queen dies and does not leave a final will and testament, the head of the government shall remain vacant. And since the queen never technically left her throne, this means the monarchy exists without a queen. Therefore, Hawaii is still a monarchy and has been since 1893. Plot twist.
But don't take it from me. Let me tell you a story about a Hawaiian citizen named Lance Larson. In 1999, Lance was arrested for driving without a license plate, which is illegal under United States law.
After he was arrested, Lance claimed that jurisdiction over him was only held by the Hawaiian kingdom. You see, he made the claim that the United States had illegally occupied Hawaii. Therefore, he should only be tried under the laws of the kingdom, not the United States. Now this created a very complicated situation. The international community actually stopped for a second and said, "Hey, wait a minute. Is Hawaii occupied illegally?"
And nobody could really agree. This case ended up being so controversial that it went all the way to the Hague. Now the Hague, oh my God, wait, I've been there.
The Hague is located in the Netherlands, and it's where international legal cases are tried in a court of law. Basically, if an entire country is committing a crime, this is where you go. You go there. So why am I telling you about the Hague? Well, Mr. Larson's issue was no longer about license plates. It was about the very nature of Hawaii's existence as a state.
Is Hawaii a part of the United States and their government or an independent state with their own monarchy? In order for the Hague to rule on whether the United States illegally obtained Hawaii, the United States had to be part of the original case. But guess what? The United States refused to participate. In fact, there isn't even any evidence that they protested when the Hague declared Hawaii an independent state.
The Hague sided with Lance. The Hague stated that Hawaii is and always has been illegally occupied. Since there is no treaty, the occupation and any transfer of power as a result is illegal. Hawaii should be its own independent state with its own government and its own set of laws. But since the United States refused to acknowledge the Hague or the Larson case, nothing's changed.
So even though the international community has acknowledged that Hawaii is its own nation state, the United States government is straight up ignoring that. And since the USA is a massive superpower, there really is no one like who can enforce international rulings against them. Now you may be wondering, well, why is no one talking about this? Well, they are. The Hawaiian Sovereignty Movement is a grassroots organization campaigning for return to Hawaiian independence.
And from what we've learned today, they have an interesting case. They have a fair case. They have a pretty solid case. In conclusion, America has always wanted to take over the world at any cost. I wouldn't say they want to take over the world. They just want to take over America. America wants to take over America.
What the fuck is going on? Now, I don't know about you guys, but okay, look, I didn't know a damn thing about Hawaii. I didn't know a damn thing about Hawaii. I thought Hawaii was part of the United States. And when I was learning about this, I was like, holy, my brain exploded because what? You know, like Hawaii shouldn't be a part of the United States. Why are we still, why? Why is this still a thing?
Let me know down below. Overall, I did learn that the Queen is a badass. This shit's fucked up, per usual, in these dark history episodes. And if there's one thing we've learned is that the United States is a little shady. Not a little. Very shady. And I don't think it's wrong to acknowledge that and say, hey, United States, you fucked up. Make it right. But I guess I live in my own little fairytale world, don't I? Anyways, okay.
Well, everyone, thank you so much for hanging out with me today. I hope you learned a little something about Hawaii. I know it was a lot of information, but if there's anything you should learn from this, it's that Hawaii is not part of the United States. It never should have been. I mean, legally, it's not. Point blank period, control alt delete. Hello? Backspace. That's my new thing. I just, you know, let me roll with it. Thanks for hanging out with me today.
I hate trying to end these. They're really difficult to end sometimes because I don't really know what to say. But thank you for hanging out with me today. I'd love to hear your guys' reactions to this story, so make sure to use the hashtag Dark History over on social media so I can follow along.
Also, you can join me over on my YouTube where you can watch these episodes on Thursday after the podcast airs. And also you can catch my murder mystery and makeup, which drops on Mondays. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day. You make good choices. Pineapple does not come from Hawaii. And I'll be talking to you next week. Goodbye.
Dark History is an Audioboom original. This podcast is executive produced by Bailey Sarian, Kim Jacobs, Dunya McNeely from 3Arts, Justin Cummins, and Claire Turner from Wheelhouse DNA. Produced by Lexi Kiven. Research provided by Thomas Messersmith. Writers Jed Bookout, Michael Oberst, Joey Scavuzzo, Kim Yageed, and me, Bailey Sarian. I'm
And a big special thank you to our historical consultant, Dr. David Keanu Tsai. And I'm your host, Bailey Sarian. These people had to come in with their damn bonnets, shooting everybody. God. Just kidding. We should have put a bonnet on. Is your vehicle stopping like it should? Does it squeal or grind when you brake? Don't miss out on summer brake deals at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Oh, oh, oh.
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