128: The Dark History of The Kennedys: America's Cursed Royal Family

2024/4/3

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Most people don't know that JFK had a sister named Rosemary.

And that's on purpose. Because in 1941, when Rosemary was just 23 years old, her dad, Joseph Kennedy Sr., forced her to get a lobotomy. Oh, yes. An ice pick to the brain. I covered Rosemary's story in our lobotomy episode. But what you need to know is that the reputation of the Kennedy family was everything.

This is because Joseph Kennedy Sr. was grooming his sons for careers in politics. And the Rosemary problem was a threat to the family. So they locked her away in an institution for 20 years and no one even visited her. Not once. And this made me think they did this to their own flesh and blood. What else are they capable of, huh? Yes, they're scandalous and have done some very illegal things.

But they also literally changed America forever. And honestly, redefined American culture. For the good and the bad. Most people think of the Kennedys as America's royal family. And just like the royal family, they have skeletons in their closet. And that's the tea I want to talk about. So friends, this is the dark history of the Kennedys. ♪

Hi friends, I hope you're having a wonderful day today. My name is Bailey Sarian and I'd like to welcome you to my podcast, Dark History. Here we believe history doesn't have to be boring, right? It might be tragic. It sometimes is happy, but either way, it's our dark history. So all you have to do is sit back, relax, and just let me tell you about that hot, juicy history goss. And it's juicy today.

First of all, I need to say there is so much to cover with the Kennedys, this could easily be like a freaking 10-parter. Actually, the whole podcast could be about the Kennedys. I mean, they might be the most studied American family ever, but today we're going to focus on their greatest hits, I guess you can call it. So when we think of the Kennedys, I think a lot of us immediately think of JFK getting his head, you know?

Have you seen that video? I hope not. I had this teacher in ninth grade who made us watch it over and over and over again. It was my history teacher. And he would like, did it in slow mo. There was a zoomed in version. And mind you, ninth grade, I was like, are we really watching this guy get murdered in slow motion at school?

It was really dark. The story of the Kennedys has been so romanticized by the media over the years. I mean, people are obsessed with them. Personally, I've never understood it because I just assumed they were like an old money family that somehow wiggled their way into politics and partied their life away because, you know, they could.

But no, nay nay, they were so much more than that. Our story starts with the patriarch of the Kennedy empire, a man named Joseph Patrick Kennedy Sr. Wow, what a name, you know, very long, but we're just gonna call him Joe. So Joe was born on September 6, 1888 in East Boston, Mass. So what does that make him?

Oh, a Virgo. I think he's a Virgo. And honestly, he's such a Virgo. Joe was born into an extremely poor area made up of Irish Catholic working class immigrants. And at this time, like there was this big anti-Irish sentiment. People who were in Boston before the Irish immigrants arrived were like, oh,

So when are you guys leaving, huh? So many were just flat broke, homeless, and just stuck in a cycle of poverty that they couldn't get out of. Joe's father, PJ, was beloved by the community.

PJ was, PJ, it's kind of silly, but PJ was in politics and it's reported that even though he only had a little more money than everyone else, he always gave back to his community. Joe's sister once said, quote, when the doorbell would ring, it would be someone down on their luck coming to Papa for help. Papa, can you hear me?

Yeah, he was just like a really generous guy. And this allowed him to really succeed in politics. And it also taught Joe a valuable lesson. Money is the real power. When you have money, you can do whatever you want. And this really shaped Joe's personality. Joe was described as a very driven, intense person with a charismatic personality. He was like this blonde haired, light-eyed Irish guy who wore these very distinct round glasses.

Yeah, it's kind of giving Tootsie Pop Owl, remember? How many licks does it take? A one, a two, a three. And then Lil' Kim came out and she's like, how many licks does it take to get to the center of the, you know?

That's what's giving. In school, Joe was loved, just like his father, and he made important social connections with the Boston elite. These connections even helped get him into Harvard. And back then, if you got into Harvard, you were set for life. I feel like it's still kind of the same today, but...

Back then it was like, you know, it was real. But sadly, this wasn't the case for Joe. There was serious prejudice against him in Harvard because he was Irish Catholic. So people went out of their way to exclude poor Joe from social circles and parties. And other students looked at him like he was just a pathetic Irish kid.

This was frustrating because he did the work to get there. He was determined to join the banking industry when he graduated and become rich. But after graduation, he struggled to find a job because no one wanted to hire him. It was just like at Harvard. He was an outcast just because he was Irish Catholic. One by one, all his classmates got all these coveted banking jobs in town. So Joe turned to his dad to like hook him up with a decent job. And daddy came through.

because Joe became a state bank examiner. Even though it wasn't like the job he imagined, he realized that this was actually the perfect job for him. Working for the state bank meant he could like learn all about the inner workings and rules of the banking industry. This way, he could make the rules work for him. At this point, he was done waiting for people to invite him into the rich boy clubs. I mean, no one plays by the rules, so why should he?

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In 1914, he made a name for himself by rescuing a local bank that was about to go under. As a reward, they made him the president. So at the age of 25, Joe becomes one of the youngest bank presidents in America. Snaps. And when I was looking into this, I discovered that the bank Joe quote unquote saved was actually his daddy's bank. Yeah.

Must be nice. Joe did help this bank, but it was all a setup from his father so he'd get a leg up in the banking industry. So this move gave Joe celebrity status in the banking world. Finally, people stopped treating him like he was working class trash. His first order of business with this new reputation was to lock down a wifey.

Joe had been in a little situationship with a woman named Rose Fitzgerald. She was a daughter of Boston's mayor at the time, and they had wanted to get married for years, but her dad wouldn't allow it because

because Rose's dad didn't think Joe was like good enough for his daughter. But when Joe pulled out the save the bank move, her father was like, fine, you guys can get married. Joe's marrying into Rose's political family gave him VIP access and power to the richest families in America.

And this is the point when Joe starts creating his empire. He did this by using a little business tactic called insider trading. This is essentially what Martha Stewart did. Yeah. But it's when you invest a ton of money into a business because you heard a secret tip that wink wink...

might make you a lot of money. And this was completely legal back then. So in 1919, Joe became a stockbroker. And because of a ton of insider training information, he was able to make super profitable business moves that turned him into a millionaire scary fast. For example, he got a tip to get into real estate during the Great Depression.

Like smart, right? Profit off of the hurt and loss of others. But he followed the tip and it paid off. When he started doing insider trading, he was worth around $4 million. And by the end of the Great Depression in 1939, he was worth over $180 million, which in today's money is like almost $4 billion.

Yep. He uses money to build his family homes on the waterfront of Cape Cod, which actually still exists today. It's called the Kennedy Compound. Road trip? You wanna go? And he got this property specifically because it sat across the water from all those Ivy League assholes who shunned him from society. Like I said, so Virgo. Right? He's like, fuck you guys, I'm here.

His reputation as a fierce businessman even got him access to the White House. During the Great Depression, he used some of that windfall of cash to throw his support behind the presidential candidate at the time, FDR. His donations and fundraisers were key to FDR getting that presidential crown. So when FDR was elected president, he made sure to pay back Joe, but not with money.

Joe had enough of that. He's like, no, no. FDR gave Joe the thing he wanted most, political power. So he's given a position that essentially puts him in charge of the stock market. And one of the first orders of business Joe has is to make sure no one can ever get a fortune like he did. So Joe actually helps make insider trading illegal. Ah, what a dick. He

He was like, I know I did it, but like no one else can do it. Just me. Around the same time, Joe and FDR's son created a super profitable booze company. Right as the prohibition was ending. Yeah, I guess he just so happened to know that prohibition was ending. He's like, oh my God, isn't that crazy? I just like guessed. Here

Here's booze. Now that Joe had all this money and power and his political dreams were starting to come true, he decided to expand his portfolio. And this time he wasn't going to invest in a boring ass bank. Nah. He was going to invest in Hollywood, baby.

Yeah! Joe started convincing investors to buy up Hollywood studios that were in trouble. He was also giving advice to all these studios on how to stay open and be profitable. So Joe actually became like a huge important advisor in early Hollywood. When he got to Hollywood, he set his sights on the most famous actress at that time, Gloria Swanson.

Just like everyone in town, Gloria was depending on advice from Joe to help with her production company. And before you know it, the two of them, they were in love. The problem? They were both married.

Jeez. So Joe uses his power and influence to get Gloria's husband a job in Europe. He's like, yeah, Europe, send him there. You know, so the two could run around Hollywood like the married couple they wanted to be. Joe immediately gets super involved in Gloria's movie career. Like he convinces her to use all her money and go into debt to star in this expensive...

unique movie that no one in Hollywood would touch. I mean, like he was the money genius after all. So Gloria was like, okay, yeah, I'll do whatever you say. But just a few months into the movie, the production was $11 million over budget.

You know, whoopsie. So naturally they were forced to shut it down. After this, Gloria got this horrible reputation in Hollywood and like no one would hire her for their movies. Her career was just completely over. Gloria's husband wrote her a letter saying that he knew about the affair. Oops. And then he broke up with her. I know, damn, when it rains, it pours.

Gloria turned to Joe for support and he looked her dead in the eye, said nothing, and apparently just walked out.

Yeah, he never saw her again. It was a live ghosting. So Joe ended up returning home to focus on raising his nine children he had with Rose. Now at this point, the Kennedy kids are just rich kids living life, playing sports and parting their lives away. Joe let them have their fun, you know, but he also let them know that this wasn't a game, goddammit. He had expectations of them.

they needed to marry the right people, prepare for public life, and most importantly know how to present themselves as a Kennedy. And this started at the family dinner table I guess. Apparently at the Kennedy house small talk was not allowed. The only things they could discuss were history, politics, and national issues. And Joe wanted his kids to be competitive and outsmart each other at the table.

I'm picturing them like, "What do you have to say about geopolitics?" And they're like, "Daddy, I'm six. I don't know." The pressure. Joe didn't go from nobody to VIP list for nothing. And even though he was getting older, he knew his legacy would live on forever if only his kids would cooperate. Together, they'd find a way to run America and change politics forever.

Now, if there's one Kennedy you've heard about, it's most likely JFK. John Fitzgerald Kennedy. He was born on May 29th, 1917.

He was the second eldest son and he had a tougher childhood because I guess he was sick a lot as a kid. With John, I guess there was always something wrong. But despite that, he was smart, popular, athletic, and went on to go to Harvard just like his daddy, where he graduated in 1940 with honors. After graduating, John went on to serve in the Navy during World War II and he was a freaking war hero. Oh yeah.

In August of 1943, JFK was the captain of a patrol boat that was intercepting Japanese warships. At 2 a.m. one night while everyone else was sleeping, he noticed another boat like coming towards them. At first he thought it was another American patrol boat, but pretty soon he realized it was a massive Japanese destroyer

coming straight at them at almost 50 miles an hour. He's like, oh shit. Before he could do anything, the destroyer sliced the patrol boat in half.

tearing right through it in just seconds. John and the surviving sailors were just like holding on for dear life to the remnants of the boat and just like floating in the middle of the ocean. Now this is where everything might have ended for John and the other surviving sailors. But guess what? Not here, baby. Because John had been a champion swimmer when he was at Harvard. This crazy man. He swam with two wounded soldiers, essentially carrying them by their life jackets.

and they swam for hours in the Pacific Ocean and finally making it to dry land. But the problem was, I mean, they made it to land, right? Great, but the problem was this was a deserted island with no food or water. And most of his men were injured and just exhausted, but not John. No, no. John spies another island in the distance and he's like, well, shit, worth a try, okay? So he guides his men to the second island.

After four days with no food or water, the 11 survivors are so stoked to find that there are coconuts for them to eat on this second island. And JFK is starting to get worried about the injured men that he's been taking care of. Like, aren't they gonna make it? So once again, John, he's a dolphin, he swims to another island. This one is called Nauru, and thankfully, the locals living there are friendly.

but they're technically still in enemy territory, so John really has to be careful. He's gotta like keep a low profile. But he also needs food, supplies, and a boat if they're gonna like make it out of there alive. So John over here pulls a genius move and carves a coded message onto a coconut.

Yeah, this sounds fake, huh? It's real. So he ends up giving the coconut to one of the locals who then passes it along to the New Zealand forces that were stationed in the area. The message on the coconut said, "Nauru Island, 11 alive, need small boat."

Kennedy, straight to the point. We love that. So then they just wait, right? Just hope for the best. Well, the next day, the locals came back with food and water for them. And I guess the coconut telegram had worked because after six long days, they were finally rescued. Wild. Mostly thanks to John, right? And his swimming skills. He's like flipper out there.

Did you watch that show Flipper? I loved it. So little John Kennedy comes home a total war hero when it's all over. But the crazy thing is JFK was never supposed to be the Kennedy who became a big deal. They were all special in their own way of course. But it was JFK's older brother, Joe Jr., who was supposed to really secure the family legacy by becoming the President of the United States. But

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That little problem I mentioned? Joe Jr. died. Yeah, I'm sorry to just dump it on you like that, but listen, I didn't know how to do it. You see, he dies in a kind of mysterious plane crash in 1944. He's also in the army, but the circumstances around his death are a little...

The government never disclosed how he died exactly and why the plane even went down. So, you know, I guess we'll never know. But what we do know is that he died.

And this gaping hole in the family tree meant that someone had to step up and fast. JFK is 27 at the time and he's essentially next in line for the throne. Suddenly he's the one feeling that eldest boy pressure. You know, it's given succession, you know? Growing up, his mom Rose told all of her kids that quote, "To whom much is given, much is expected."

Unquote iconic, right? And this is basically like the Kennedy family motto. It's on bumper stickers, hats, t-shirts, just kidding, but like I love it. So after Joe Jr. died, both Mr. and Mrs. Kennedy expected big things from JFK. Actually, they were expecting him to be like his older brother. Suddenly all the dreams they had for their oldest son just transferred right on down to little JFK.

In 1952, JFK, now 35, ran for Senate. And what's crazy is that he was considered an underdog at the time. He was also considered a man of the people. He represented progress and hope. And it was kind of a threat to the existing politicians. So everyone was really shocked when he won. And this really put the political spotlight on JFK for the first time. But was this enough for Dutty?

Of course not, no. Like I said, everything that was planned for Joe Jr. suddenly fell onto JFK's shoulders. So the family decided that in 1960, he was going to run for president, goddammit. Another problem. Yes, another problem. Even though JFK had been in Congress for 14 years at this point,

He wasn't really seen as much of a threat going into the presidential election. Apparently, he was most known for being a quote, "witty playboy" more than anything else. So he wasn't really like taken seriously. JFK had gotten married in 1953 to Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, or as most of us know her, Jackie O.

They were a very hot it couple. Jackie was seen as this cool fashion icon girl who like studied in France. She's like "oui oui" and then JFK was you know JFK. They were a good looking couple but just like his daddy he too loved the ladies a little too much.

Actually, a lot. Okay. Some people claim that this was always a major issue in their marriage and Jackie hated it. Other people say that Jackie knew what she was getting into when she married JFK and she just like tolerated it. But who knows for sure. Anyway, when JFK announces that he's running for president, there's plenty of people who were skeptical. Besides being a witty playboy, he was also Irish Catholic.

No US president had ever been Irish Catholic before. It's hard to imagine nowadays, but back then this was a huge issue. JFK was essentially facing the same issues that his dad had dealt with, but on a much bigger scale. But if there's one thing that's gonna help you win an election, it's money, baby.

And like the Kennedys, they had plenty of it. They didn't need to depend on donors like everyone else. Papa Joe was ready to shell out the big bucks to make sure his boy won. That's my boy!

JFK was pretty like shameless about his wealth. He flaunted it, you know, and publicly would joke about his dad essentially buying the election. Oh yeah. JFK is on record saying, quote, I have just received the following wire from my generous daddy. Dear Jack, don't buy a single vote more than necessary. I'll be damned if I am going to pay for a landslide. End quote. All right.

Good for daddy, huh? Kennedy's campaign was called, quote, the most highly financed, the most plush, the most extravagant in the history of politics in the United States. I guess even still, it was a close-ass race. At this time, JFK was up against Richard Nixon. And the one contest Nixon wasn't beating Kennedy at...

was the beauty contest girl. I mean like Kennedy was like bronze, he had nice hair. And get this, this was the first televised presidential debate. So looks mattered and everyone was tuning in to like watch this debate. Many historians say that a major reason JFK won the presidency was because he was simply better looking. I mean, I get it, I didn't vote for the hot one. You know, I'm like, damn, he's fine.

Joan is that why you support JFK? Slut. I'm just kidding girl. So in 1961 JFK fulfilled his daddy's biggest dream and became the 35th president of the United States. You know yeah there was a hottie for the first time in the white house. Oh and a catholic. Girl the Irish catholic community was stoked. This was a big win for them.

And for Papa Joe, it was said that, quote, the election of John F. Kennedy as president of the United States was the ultimate victory for Joseph Sr., who as a Catholic had been belittled and excluded by Boston's elite society. End quote. It's not like his dad really wanted it more, you know? Basically, if you ever have beef with anyone, just pressure your son or daughter into becoming the president and, like, that'll show them.

So now just a little fun fact. Remember that coconut that John carved the help message into?

You know, his little friend Wilson? Well, he turned it into a paperweight. And it was on his desk when he was president. Beautiful, just a full circle moment for that coconut. But, you know, it wasn't all sunshine and lollipops. Because remember how I mentioned that JFK was known for being a bit of a playboy? Well, that didn't stop when he became president. No, you thought, but it didn't. Look

Luckily for JFK, back in the 60s, there was like an unwritten rule that the press didn't report on the president's private life.

I know how nice huh? Especially when it came to extramarital affairs. So I guess like the newspapers they just looked the other way. It was just a really different time you know? But even if the papers weren't talking JFK he was. So after only meeting the prime minister of England once JFK told him quote I get these terrible headaches if I don't have a woman every three days and

I mean same, I get massive diarrhea if I don't have a man every three days. But he's the president, be better, huh? He just said a woman, so you know, like not his wife, not Jackie, just a woman, any woman, any woman with a hole or a mouth, which is a hole, right?

Moving on. Some of these women eventually came forward to share their experience when they felt like it was safe enough to do so. One of these women was named Mimi Alford. Now Mimi was literally four days into her internship at the White House and only just 19 years old when JFK invited her to go swimming in the White House pool. So I mean,

It's her fourth day. So Mimi felt like she couldn't turn down an invitation from the president of the United States to go swimming. So she said, okay, I'll go.

Again, what else are you gonna say except yes? So later that night, she ends up meeting with the president again in like his room situation. And he asked if she wanted to go on a private tour of the White House. So he gives her a little tour and he takes her to like his wife's bedroom and was like, here's my wife's bedroom. And Mimi's like, well, okay, great. Then he brings her back to his room where the two would go on to have sexual relations. Hmm.

And that's the first place Mimi had sex for the first time in her whole life, you know, with a 45 year old man who happens to be the president and her boss. I know. And I was like, wait a second. The White House has a pool? What? Is it heated? I guess it was because JFK had like a bad back. So he liked the pool heated. So it felt good on his back. But then they since covered it. So it no longer has a pool. So.

So JFK continued to keep Mimi close to him, especially times when Jackie wasn't around. That's the only time he called her. So over time, this made a lot of the other interns at the White House question Mimi, dislike her, kind of talk behind her back.

because they saw that she was getting special treatment. And also she wasn't even doing her job anymore at one point. She was like there just to be Kendi's girlfriend, kind of whatever, you know? And if this is sounding romantic to you, okay, well, behind closed doors, JFK was asking for some,

pretty messed up things, you know? Mimi came out with a book many years later called "Once Upon a Secret." I read it over the weekend. Really well written.

So good. And in the book, she includes some truly like just sad moments. So one time they're swimming in the pool and JFK turns to Mimi and tells her to quote, take care of his, his friend. So she swims over to the guy and she ends up performing some like, you know, mouth service to this man while JFK floated and watched. Yeah. Yeah.

And I guess Mimi wasn't the only one. He was having tons and tons of affairs. But the only affair that people were really talking about was with like the hottest person in America. You know that one good tank top that you wear like all year round? I mean, it fits you just right. So you wear all the...

time, but maybe now it's getting a little old. Shifting my wardrobe from summer to fall is always a challenge. Luckily, Quince offers timeless and high quality items that I love so I can make sure my wardrobe stays fresh and I don't blow my budget. They've got cashmere sweaters from $50, pants for every occasion, washable silk tops, and my favorite part,

All Quince items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. By partnering directly with top factories, Quince cuts out the cost of the middleman and passes the savings on to us. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices

and premium fabrics and finishes. I recently got this 100% European linen short sleeve shirt. Ooh, I love linen and you know, it was so comfortable, so cute. I can finally retire my old ratty tank top.

The President and none other than Marilyn Monroe were seen hanging out together at parties in Malibu, Palm Springs, and New York. And of course there were rumors. And these rumors sometimes made it into the tabloids, but people weren't really sure like what was happening. That is, until the birthday song. Happy birthday Mr. President. You know?

very famous. so when people saw that shit they're like. there was this big gala madison square garden on may 19th 1962 and marilyn monroe comes out on the stage in this skin tight dress that she literally had to be sewn into. it was gorgeous on her. that bod wow.

and she sings the sexiest version of "Happy Birthday" you've ever heard in your life. According to Marilyn's close friends, she wasn't wearing any kind of bra or underwear either. It was like the closest thing to being naked you could get away with at an event like this. It's also the dress that Kim Kardashian wore at the Met Gala. Remember? Everyone was like outraged. "How could she? Oh my god." But it's a pretty dress.

Don't come for me. After the song, when they're giving JFK his birthday cake, he apparently said, quote, I can now retire from politics after having had happy birthday sung to me in such a sweet, wholesome way. He was joking, of course, because her delivery and dress and everything had been...

very sexual. I'm sure she saw it but like thankfully Jackie wasn't there that night but of course she heard about it. I mean everyone heard about it. The exchange between Marilyn and JFK was so tongue-in-cheek and familiar that people were like

Oh yeah, they be f*cking. It was a pretty wild thing for Marilyn to do, but at this point her life was in a bit of shambles. The studio she worked for was trying to fire her and she wasn't getting any movie offers. She was a bit of a loose cannon. So this was all bad news for JFK because he couldn't risk a scandal. And Marilyn was apparently running her mouth around town just talking about how the president was planning on divorcing Jackie.

and was going to marry her. Now, Marilyn was big trouble for JFK. I mean, think about it. None of the other girls he was sleeping with had the platform or power to like ruin his life the way that Marilyn could. And many believe she was having an affair with not only JFK, but also his younger brother, Bobby Kennedy.

So not long after this whole birthday thing happened, JFK just like stopped taking Marilyn's calls. I guess she was like calling at the White House too. It's like, I'm busy. I mean, he was just like straight up afraid of what she might reveal next.

Less than three months after the happy birthday song on August 4th, 1962, Marilyn Monroe died. The LA County coroner's office ruled her death as a probable suicide. Hmm? Yeah. But...

People think that JFK's brother, Bobby, who was attorney general at the time, may have even played a role in Marilyn's death. Witnesses claim to have heard a disturbing tape from Marilyn's home from the night of her death and on it you can hear the voices of two men. Many believe that one of the male voices is actually Bobby Kennedy screaming at Marilyn. Marilyn's own ex-husband, famous baseball player Joe DiMaggio,

always blamed the Kennedys for her death. Oh yeah. He said, quote, the whole lot of Kennedys were lady killers and they always got away with it. They'll be getting away with it a hundred years from now. End quote. Then like tragedy strikes again. On November 22nd, 1963, Kennedy,

In Dallas, Texas, JFK was assassinated. He was just minding his own business, waving to people, riding in a convertible with his wife, Jackie, doing a little, you know, tour of the state. He's like, yay, thank you. Everyone's cheering for him. And then out of nowhere, a man named Lee Harvey Oswald shoots him.

allegedly. And we literally don't know why he did it because two days later Oswald is shot and killed. What the cover-up is happening? According to Time magazine quote "the explanation of Oswald's motive for killing President Kennedy was buried with him" end quote. Suspish huh? Right?

Yeah. So the morale in the Kennedy family and the country in general was in the gutter after JFK was killed. But families like the Kennedys have a plan for...

stuff like this. They essentially have this royal bloodline thing happening, right? It's kind of like when Queen Elizabeth II died. The throne went to her son Charles, and then eventually it's gonna go to William. But like that's how the Kennedys operated. So the family then turned to their third oldest son, Bobby.

After he made a name for himself as the Attorney General, it was decided that Bobby would run for president. In 1968, things were looking good on the campaign trail. But then, disaster struck. Oh my god, I know. Bobby was assassinated on June 6, 1968. Like I said earlier, I mean, we could do an entire episode on just Bobby alone. I mean, this guy made...

lot of enemies and just like his older brother there were a lot of questions and theories surrounding his death but like look here we are three Kennedy sons Joe Jr. JFK and Bobby all died young their sister Kathleen ended up dying in a plane crash in France at just 28 years old

And then there's sweet Rosemary, the forgotten Kennedy child who was forced to get a lobotomy at age 23. Yeah, well that left her unable to speak and walk.

and she ended up spending the rest of her life hidden away in an institution. But at this point, people are looking around like, "What in the hell is going on?" Right? They're honestly wondering if there's truly some kind of Kennedy curse at play here. Because my God, this like is a lot for one family. And that wasn't it. Joe Sr., you know, daddy, after suffering from a stroke, he ended up dying in 1969. I know. Poor Rose, huh? The mom.

That's so sad.

The show must go on. And thankfully the Kennedys, they had like one son left. Okay, they're like, this is our, where Rose is like, this is our last shot at greatness. So the spotlight turns to the baby of the family, Ted. Now you think this is gonna go well? Well, buckle in, okay? So I hear life is normally easier being the baby of the family. Like the older siblings have paved the way and the parents are just like,

tired by the time they had the last one, so they let things slide a little bit more. Now this was not true with the Kennedy family. I mean from day one, Ted was living in the shadow of his older brothers, but

He really wasn't that upset about it, you know? Joe Jr., John, and Bobby essentially gave Ted the cheat code on how to succeed in a family that demanded the kids be perfect. Public image was everything to the Kennedys. I mean, it was, and then all their kids started dying, so that's gotta be shitty. So after graduating from Harvard, like all the boys in the family,

Ted became a lawyer and started to make his way in the world. In 1962, he was elected to the Senate where he became a major power player over the years. And all in all, I mean, things were going pretty well. That is...

that is you know that one good tank top that you wear like all year round i mean it fits you just right so you wear it all the time but maybe now it's getting a little old shifting my wardrobe from summer to fall is always a challenge luckily quince offers timeless and high quality items that i

Until the Kennedy curse strikes again. In 1964, Ted was in a private airplane. I know.

beware that was traveling from DC to Massachusetts bad weather became an issue and during the final approach the plane crashed in an apple orchard

It was bad. So the plane crashes and the pilot and one of Ted's aides died on impact. Ted's wife, Joan, had survived and so did another senator and his wife who were passengers on the plane. After like they all climbed out, the plane went up in flames. It was a very dramatic scene.

Now, Ted was still in the plane, and they probably assumed that he was dead. As the senator and the wives are escaping a safety, Ted lets out a whimper, and the senator hears his whimper, goes back, and pulls Ted from the wreckage, saving his life. Yeah, so...

Yes. Another plane crash. Is it not weird? It's weird. But after he recovered, Ted rolled up his sleeves and came back to the Senate ready to do work.

He had friends in both the Democratic and Republican parties, and people just generally really loved the guy. I mean, the guy was energetic, friendly, outgoing, and could make people laugh. So after his brothers were killed, it looked like Ted was next in line to make a run for president. But understandably, Ted was terrified. I mean, sure, he wanted the job, but Time Magazine reported that Ted also had a quote,

"a doomed feeling about the prospect." And I mean, Ted himself even addressed the elephant in the room about running for president. He reportedly said, "I know that I'm going to get my ass shot off one day and I don't want to." Fair, fair.

Yeah. But either way, the summer of 1969 rolls around and Ted's presidential image is gaining some serious heat. It's looking like a sure thing that he's going to be the front runner for the upcoming presidential election. That is, until one fateful night, Ted's world came crashing down. Well, he did some stupid shit. Okay, listen. Because the day is July 18th, 1969.

Ted and a bunch of friends are in Martha's Vineyard. I hear it's real fancy, but it's like an island where rich white people race expensive boats and be rich and stuff and wear like the sweaters tied around their neck. And that's exactly why Ted was there. Ted was racing in the Kennedy family's prized sailboat because of course they had one.

So later that day, they all went to a different island called Chappaquiddick for a cookout. I know, I wonder what kind of food they eat. Because you know it's not a hot dog. Anyways, but Ted had co-hosted the event for people who worked in his brother's campaign the year before. Almost like it was closure for everyone after the assassination. But here's the thing.

The party was thrown specifically for a group of six women who were all single. So these six women were known as the Boiler Room Girls because they had worked in a windowless room in Bobby's election office. Just like, get him some sunlight, goddamn. You got the money, bro. Well, the day party turned into a night party.

They were all drinking a lot, okay? It's around 11:15 p.m. Ted decides to get behind the wheel of a black Oldsmobile and riding shotgun was one of those boiler room girls. Her name was Mary Jo Kopechny. Now Mary Jo was described as a smart 28 year old political staffer who worked on both JFK's and Bobby's campaigns. So yeah,

She liked working for the Kennedys. To this day, there's all sorts of speculation as to why Ted and Mary Jo were in the car together. You know, like, were they headed to Bone Town?

No one really knows why they were together. Okay. I'm sure we can use our imagination, but they were together. But according to Ted, he was saying that Mary Jo had gotten sick and he was taking her to the ferry so she could go back to her hotel and sleep it off. The ferry was the only way to get from the island back to the mainland. So Ted is driving, you know, as one does. So he's, and he's been drinking.

He's driving. And then at some point he drove the car off a bridge and it landed upside down in a pond. Don't drink and drive kids and adults. Stop being idiots. Anyways, so they're upside down in the pond.

And even with a head injury, Ted somehow managed to get out of the car. But Mary Jo did not. According to testimony, Ted said he dived down to the car like seven or eight times during a 20-minute period trying to save Mary Jo. But I guess he was just never able to get her. So Ted ends up walking back to a cottage at like 12, 15 a.m. where two of his closest friends are. Ted gets to these guys and tells them what happened.

And the three of them return and again, like try to get down there and retrieve Mary Jo. The whole time telling Ted that like he needs to call the cops and report what happened. So then it gets, it gets very flipperish again. Instead of like taking the ferry back to the mainland, Ted ends up jumping in the water and swims back to Edgar Town. What's up with these people? Well, what?

Like make it make sense. And I guess when he arrives back into town, Ted doesn't report what happened. Instead, he goes back to the hotel to like change his clothes. And then I guess he just paced in his room until 7 a.m. I don't know. I feel like he could have called the cops, right? Oh, okay. Then at 7 30 a.m. outside the hotel, Ted

Ted runs into the guy who won the sailboat race the day before. He's like, yeah, sick sailboat. I guess they just chatted about like boats. Yeah. And Ted even said that like, yeah, I might join you for breakfast on down. Yeah. So everyone who saw Ted that day said he looked totally normal. Like nothing was wrong. You know, like he didn't just drive an Oldsmobile into a pond and kill a woman. So it isn't until 10 a.m.

When Ted contacts the local police to tell them about the car wreck, Mary Jo Kopechny's body remains stuck in that car under that murky water for about 10 hours before she was retrieved. Ted that's up. Boo. So when the Chappaquiddick incident broke in the national news, well of course people went nuts. I mean there were so many questions like

Why were they together in the car? Why did the car go off the road? Is there something Ted is hiding? Well, obviously he was hiding the fact that he just like killed someone, you know? There was a whole lot of people who think that Ted didn't call the cops right away because, you know, he was drunk.

He didn't want that blood alcohol test. If he were driving drunk, it would be evidence of illegal activity and Ted could get booked for involuntary manslaughter. All the stuff Ted would know because he's a lawyer. And then, okay, so the news comes out, whatever, and then all of a sudden Ted is spotted publicly wearing a neck brace.

on multiple occasions. Like nothing else looked injured. He was just wearing a neck brace, you know, for the cameras. It just feels a little photo op-y. Like, hey, Mary Jo just died, but...

My neck. I'm hurt too, see? My neck, I'm hurt. In a national televised speech the week after Mary Jo's death, Ted claimed he didn't drive drunk and there was no immoral conduct happening. He then blamed his weird actions after the accident on his concussion, shock and confusion. Now as to why the car went off the road and into the pond, Ted blamed everything but himself.

He was like, the road was unlit, the bridge, it was narrow, and it had no guardrails. Yada, yada, yada. Just saying words, you know. Not telling the truth. Well, actually, the truth is that we will never really know what happened in Chappaquiddick, but...

I'm sure we can all guess, right? He should have been locked up for that. That's fucked up. But what we know for sure is that this essentially ended any chance of Ted becoming president, which is ironic because all this happened while Apollo 11 was landing on the moon.

an event that his brother JFK promised would happen when he was president. Ted eventually pled guilty to leaving the scene of an accident and spent zero time in jail. Even though his shot at the presidency was gone, he did continue on in the Senate for another 40 years.

So he can be a murderer and still be in the Senate for 40 years? Wow. And to be fair, I mean, during this time, he did some great work. He helped pass some, like, major laws and stuff, but...

Over the years, more Kennedy family members would experience untimely deaths. For example, Bobby, the one who was also assassinated, his son Michael had died at the age of 39 after a skiing accident. And JFK's son, John Jr., died in a plane crash in 1999 along with his wife, Carolyn.

Damn, I know. I mean, it's clear the Kennedy family should have just stayed away from airplanes. And hey, I mean, these men are risk takers, I guess, but even so, it really feels like there may be some truths to this whole like curse thing, right? Look, curse or not, there are two types of people in this world. People who worship the ground the Kennedys walk on and people who say they're snobs who think they can get away with anything. Or maybe even you're in the middle and you're like, who?

I don't know. Maybe you were just born like, you know, recently. Welcome to Earth. Whatever side you land on, you can't deny that this family is the closest thing America may ever have to a real family. And their cultural influence is massive.

The Kennedy family has produced a president, lawyers, senators, authors, actors, actresses, journalists, activists, ambassadors, socialites, philanthropists. I got it. And like, honestly, the list goes on. But with all the scandals, alleged coverups, and tragedy in their history,

It's kind of easy to gloss over some of the incredible stuff they did. For example, Eunice Kennedy invented the Special Olympics, JFK created the Peace Corps,

and he launched the space program as we know it. The family has more charities, foundations, and nonprofits than you can count, and you can't deny their commitment to public service. Now from 1946 to 2024, there has only been four years where there wasn't a Kennedy in the United States Congress.

Can you believe that? I know. You can say they were only able to do that because of their money and privilege. I mean, yeah, sure. That is true. But they also could have done like nothing with their money and privilege and just be rich. You know, a lot easier. And to be clear, they shouldn't be let off the hook for anything. Especially like, I don't know.

Reckless driving that results in murder. And we all know, if you put someone on a pedestal and you look at them like they're gods, you're just setting yourself up for disappointment. And while we're on the subject of celebs, you need to come back next week. Because they were at the center of a bloody event from American history that no one talks about. Oh God, what is it?

Back in the early 1800s, actors in the theater were America's A-listers. And their fans would like do anything for them. Even if that meant turning New York into a war zone and murdering innocent people. Super fans, they call them. Next week, we're going to learn about the Astor Place riot. Have you heard about it? I didn't think so. So come back next week. Because, girl, it's wild.

Whew! Well, how was that? Did you learn something new? I hope so. Well, thank you for hanging out with me today. You can join me over on my YouTube where you can actually watch these episodes on Thursday after the podcast airs. And while you're there, also catch my murder, mystery, and makeup. I would love to hear your reactions to today's story, so make sure to use the hashtag dark history over on social media so I can see what you're saying.

Cause I'm looking. Now let's read a couple of comments you guys left me. In our Hedy Lamarr episode, I asked, what should my LA name be? And Jennifer Fenton 2074 has responded quote, Linda Sapphire should be your LA name. Hmm. Linda. I was not expecting that. Linda Sapphire.

I sound very mature and rich, don't I? Sapphire, Linda, okay. We're like a rich stripper. I'm not mad. Thank you for your suggestion. Christine Feliciano 3269 left a comment on our Bee Baby and Furby episode saying, quote, "Hey dude, do you remember Salute Your Shorts?" Absolutely. That theme song lives rent free in my mind, end quote.

This is like when Nickelodeon was at its peak, and I will fight anyone who disagrees with me. Thank you for your comment. AndersonSC8FE left us an episode suggestion saying, "'Bailey, could you do a dark history on Joan of Arc, please?' I've always been curious about her story and think you'd do a great job telling her story."

Yeah, one of my favorite Jones. I'm surprised we haven't done an episode on her. Thank you for your suggestion and I definitely want to do an episode on her. I love you for watching and I appreciate you for engaging and commenting. So keep it coming because maybe you'll be featured. And hey, if you don't know, Dark History is an Audioboom original. This podcast is executive produced by Bailey Sarian, Junya McNeely from 3Arts, Kevin Grush, and Matt Enloe from Maiden Network.

Writers, Joey Scavuzzo, Katie Burris, and Allison Filobos. Production lead, Brian Jaggers. Research provided by Xander Elmore. A special thank you to our expert, Neil Thompson. And additional thanks to Patrick Martin. And I'm your host, Bailey Sarian. I hope you have a good day today. You make good choices. And I'll be talking to you next week.

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128: The Dark History of The Kennedys: America's Cursed Royal Family

Dark History

Chapters

How Did Joseph Kennedy Sr. Build His Empire?

What Were the Dark Secrets of JFK's Presidency?

Did the Kennedy Curse Influence Ted Kennedy's Fate?

What Legacy Did the Kennedys Leave on American Culture?

Shownotes Transcript

128: The Dark History of The Kennedys: America's Cursed Royal Family 52:05 Share

Dark History

Chapters

How Did Joseph Kennedy Sr. Build His Empire?

What Were the Dark Secrets of JFK's Presidency?

Did the Kennedy Curse Influence Ted Kennedy's Fate?

What Legacy Did the Kennedys Leave on American Culture?

Shownotes Transcript

128: The Dark History of The Kennedys: America's Cursed Royal Family