Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Episode 15, Ritika's first love. When I was in 4th standard, I had my real crush. So he used to live in my building only. And I got to know that he lives in my building too. And he was my best friend's cousin. Like, you know, cousin brother. Yeah.
So, I started asking him about my best friend, what he is, how he is and all, in what standard he is. So, I got to know that he is four years older than me. I was like, that's okay, age doesn't matter in love, right? That was my perception at that time because I wasn't that mature. But I heard in a lot of films that age doesn't matter in love, etc. and stuff.
So yeah, I tried to talk to him. Of course, he was four years older than me. So I was a little shy. But it's okay. I made my first move. So during summer vacation, we used to play together. Cricket, volleyball, football, etc. And while playing together, we started talking. We started interacting. We got to know each other.
And like, it was very nice, like, I was knowing my crush so closely. But eventually, I came to know that after some time, when I came in 6th or 7th, he of course went to college. Then he shifted from my building to another place. But still, we had contact with each other. But at that time, I didn't have any Android phone.
So, I used to ask my best friend about what was coming and when. And whenever he came, he would leave all my work and go to meet him. And eventually, I guess he had some doubts. But he never told me. Okay.
He told me a lot about his girlfriends, how many make-outs he had done and stuff. So, after hearing all this, my heart broke. I didn't want such a guy as my first boyfriend. Then I thought, let it go. It's better to stay single than to get caught. Or I should wait for my Prince Charming. Then slowly, slowly, slowly...
I don't know, I got a call but we cut off our contact because his number changed and something happened. I also shifted from that building to another building. And then when I was in 10th standard, we connected again through Instagram and we started chatting and stuff. So I asked him, I told him, I confessed my feelings that I really like you.
Then he was like, "No, Arisha, you are not my type." And stuff and stuff. Because I used to look very cheap in 10th standard. Like I had braces. Of course, I was a school girl. What do people expect from a school girl? So yeah, that was my first heartbreak. That even after so much hard work, this guy rejected me.
But then I was like, leave it. But still, I was a little disappointed that it shouldn't have happened like this. Even though my face is so bad, but I am very good at heart. But eventually then, I also went to college, I came to the degree college. And again, when it was my 18th birthday, I posted a post on Instagram, like my 18th birthday, in one piece.
And then I got a lot of comments and likes. He had never liked or commented on any of my posts before. It was his first post. Then I texted him, "Hey, how are you?"
And we started talking slowly. We started talking to each other. And eventually he was telling me about his life. What was going on, how he broke up with his girlfriend and stuff. Because I knew he had a girlfriend before. So then he suddenly asked me, will you go on a date? I was like, why is this guy coming now? Is it because he looks so hot? Am I joking? I didn't look hot but maybe I was hot for him.
I said to him, "Sorry, I have a boyfriend now, so I can't come." But then he was like, "I don't have any problem. I'm just asking for a date." So I said, "So what? You're asking for a date, but I have a boyfriend. I'll have to take permission for that. I can go or not." So he was like, "What's the matter? How long has it been? We're old buddies and stuff." So I told him directly, "Look,
You rejected me first, you never understood me. Why should I say yes to you now? Even though we had a fight, but then still he was mature enough to understand me a little. And then he told me a lot that we will meet and all. But the loyalty inside me never ended, my boyfriend's two words. Because he was the man who supported me in my tough times.
And he was never with me. He disappeared suddenly. Then he reconnected with me again. Who knows? So I decided that I will maintain distance with that person. Because I told my boyfriend all this. He was like, "I don't like his intentions."
You stop talking a little bit. I was like, okay, no worries. Because my boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for the last year and a half. So why shouldn't I listen to him? So yeah, I listened to him and eventually I stopped talking to him. But I don't know why, whenever I used to talk to him, I used to get butterflies in my stomach. Like before, we talked on video call once or twice.
I don't know, I still have a soft corner for him. But I'll not say that I love him and all. No, I don't love him. But yes, I have a soft corner because he was my crush from the 4th round to 10th, 11th. So of course, I have. And there's nothing wrong in it, I don't think so. So yeah, that's all about my first crush story.
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