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Hey, it's Nancy. Before we begin today, I just wanted to let you know that you can listen to Crime Beat early and ad-free on Amazon Music, included with Prime. He's the most terrifying serial killer you've never heard of. Haddon Clark has confessed to several murders, but investigators say he could have over 100 victims. At the center of the mayhem, a cellmate of Haddon's that was able to get key evidence into Haddon's murder spree across America.
because hadn't thought he was Jesus Christ. Born Evil, the Serial Killer and the Savior, an ID true crime event, premieres Monday, September 2nd at 9. Watch on ID or stream on Max. Set your DVR. A listener's note. The following episode contains coarse language, adult themes, and content of a violent and disturbing nature and may not be suitable for everyone. Listener discretion is advised.
Since we started this podcast, I've been asked a lot of questions. The most common one is how I deal with the horrific details of the crimes I cover day after day. To be honest, it's not easy. These cases leave a mark on my life. But after doing this job for more than two decades, I've learned to cope with what I'm exposed to.
I know what I experience in reporting on these cases is really insignificant compared to the pain the families of the victims have to deal with. I'm driven to give these families a voice so they can share their stories and eventually begin to heal. And with this podcast, that passion has only gotten stronger. But I'm human.
And some cases get to me. Some give me nightmares and stay with me long after I wake up. One of those is a triple murder that shattered a small mountain community in southwest Alberta. And I literally feel like it jumped out of my body because they hit the ground.
I think I was screaming. I was crying. And I remember thinking my dad could fix this. I'm like, you've got to fix this because this isn't real. This isn't true. You can fix this. So just fix this, dad. I'm Nancy Hixt, a crime reporter for Global News. If you're just joining me for the first time now, stop, go back, and listen to the last episode. And I need to warn you, some of the details in this case are extremely disturbing.
This is part two of Darkness in the Past. If there was one thing that filled Bill Blanchett with joy, it was babysitting his two-year-old granddaughter. Bill is better known to his family as Papa, and he loved little Haley Dunbar Blanchett. When Haley's dad, Terry Blanchett, would go to work, Papa would come over. They developed a special bond.
They loved to go to the park or go out to eat. They loved a Papa Haley lunch date. September 13th, 2015 was exactly like that. Terry went to work as a cook at a nearby restaurant in the Crow's Nest Pass, and Haley and Papa enjoyed a day filled with fun and laughter. That night, Terry got home from work, his dad went home, and everything was as it should be.
But the next day, that world was ripped apart. When Terry didn't respond to his dad's calls and messages, Bill decided to go to Terry's house. Inside, he found his son violently murdered. His granddaughter was missing. On September 14, 2015, just after 2 in the afternoon, an Amber Alert was issued.
Family and friends were hopeful Haley would be returned to them safely. How could she not be? She was only two years old. It didn't dawn on me that she was not going to come back alive. It just didn't because she was two. She was a toddler. People don't do that to toddlers, but they do, you know, and that is the new reality. This does happen right in your own backyard.
That's Terry's big sister, Haley's aunt, Amanda Blanchette DeSteur. The details of what happened to her brother and niece are things she could never have imagined. They're things that happen in movies, not real life. The man accused of killing Terry and Haley was Derek Sretzky.
He was just 22 years old when he was arrested and charged with two counts of first-degree murder and one count of causing an indignity to Haley's body.
As the community tries to move forward and process this tragedy, we're getting a clearer picture of the man arrested for the horrible crimes. Here's Nancy Hicks now with what we know and the big question that remains, why? It appears Saretsky doesn't have a previous criminal record, no history of violence. For now, RCMP investigators are not shedding any further light on this case, except to say Saretsky is an acquaintance of Terry Blanchett.
Dunbar says she used to be friends with Saretsky, but says she hasn't spoken with him for three years. But who was Derek Saretsky? I remember the first time I reached out to his mother, Sherry Megley, shortly after his arrest. We've talked many times over the past few years and met on several occasions.
But it's taken her years to work up the strength and courage to sit down with me for a formal interview. So on a hot, sunny, midsummer day, I headed to the Crow's Nest Pass to meet with Sherry at her house. What's obvious is the events of September 2015 changed her life too. She's extremely emotional.
By default, people associate Sherry with her son. And because of that, she's a different person. She's been through a lot. She has PTSD and struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts. My car window was smashed. My tires have been slashed. My doorbell was beaten and people have broken in and gone through things and
piled tires up to my window, my bedroom window. Trying to get in, I think, I don't know. Some sort of feces thrown all over the house on the outside. Hanging my car. You don't know if these people are local or are they from out of town. Like if somebody could be so angry at me that it manifests into action. I'm terrified. I'm scared to leave my house.
Even to mow my lawn, I just, I can't do things. I can't go grocery shopping. I can't. It's completely changed my life. Before we get to what Derek Cerecki did, Sherry wanted to tell me about the Derek she knew, the youngest of her three sons. I think he was like nine and a half months when he started walking, which is way too soon. He was into hockey. He was a really good hockey player.
and baseball. He made the All-Star team. First year he played baseball, he actually got no hitters and would berate himself if they did get a hit. I suck. I'm stupid. I can't play. Sherry brought out an old photo album and a big box of some of the things that remind her of happier times. He used to, just out of the blue,
Bring me home the most beautiful cards to tell me how much he loved me. He'd leave me notes. There's a picture of Sherry holding Derek as a baby when he was just minutes old. There's another of her gazing at him lovingly as he laid on her bed. As her son got older, the photos tell a story of a boy who loved the outdoors. He was into fishing, camping, and playing with his dogs.
But things changed in the Serutzky home when Derek was about eight years old. His parents split up. It made the kids really confused and they acted out. And Larry and I dealt with it as well as we could. You know, we tried to be a united front. Soon after, Sherry met someone new. And just a few years later, she remarried. We got married in Vegas. And as soon as we got home, it changed completely.
Then he hated my kids. He didn't want them around at all. He thought that that's not what he signed on for. Once I married him, I wouldn't need them anymore. She said that was a bad time for her three boys. He called them horrible names. He said horrible things about them behind their back in his workplace and with all his friends. And I was always stuck in the middle trying to smooth things over.
Eventually, that relationship ended. But by then, Sherry said her sons were acting out. Derek started having trouble with anger issues and forgetting things and being tired all the time and just general things. We spent weeks and weeks searching online, looking up symptoms and what it could be and what we thought it was.
was concussion syndrome because he did get a few concussions playing hockey. Sherry said she didn't realize it at the time, but Derek was using drugs. So I had no idea that he needed help like that, but his dad did. So his dad got him into C counselors at ADAC and then that kind of
snowballed a bit so that he was seeing a psychotherapist or a psychiatrist and a therapist and we did every single thing that we knew to help with that's available in this area. We were trying everything.
She said Derek was secretive and wouldn't always come home. He quit high school and when she pushed him about working or cleaning up, they would get into arguments and then she wouldn't see him for weeks at a time. He would often stay in an apartment above his dad's family business, Prestige Cleaners and Tailors.
Sherry would visit him there on occasion and said she remembers one day she saw a strange book on his coffee table. The Illuminati. I have no idea what that is. I just, I'm pretty sure it's bad. Well, no, I asked him about it and he just would tell me, oh, no, it's nothing. Don't worry about it. And so I knew if I pushed, then we'd have an argument and it was better just to let things lie here.
But Sherry said in the summer of 2015, there was a dramatic change in her son. She would walk into his room and he would be quietly reading his Bible. Sherry believed it was the miracle she had been hoping and praying for. He was going to church all the time and I thought finally he's turning his life around. And we had conversations about God. Things were okay. I thought
They were going to be okay. On the evening of September 14th, Sherry and Derek were hanging out together in her living room, each doing their own thing. She was watching TV and he was listening to something on his phone. I was trying to watch my show and so he said, "Well, fine then," and he went downstairs. They both went to bed. Everything seemed normal.
Sherry was blindsided by what happened next. That was September 15th, 2015. The police knocked on the door at 3:30 in the morning and that's when my world fell apart. Police told Sherry they wanted to talk to Derek. Before I went down to get Derek, they wanted to talk to both of us and they said it's about that little girl that's missing.
We just were going door to door asking anybody to help, you know. And so I went downstairs and told Derek what they'd said and he said, "Okay, let's do this." And those words haunt me still today because every time I hear them it's like I'm right back at that moment again. Sherry and Derek were taken to the RCMP detachment for questioning. Then finally they let us go at 7:30 but said we couldn't go home because they were doing a search warrant.
Derek told his mom he wanted to talk to his dad, so Sherry dropped him off at Prestige Cleaners. Not long after that, police showed up there as well. They wanted to speak with Derek again. You'll remember we played audio from that conversation in the last episode. Derek was uncooperative, and that's when he was arrested.
And just like the families of the victims, Sherry wasn't told what, if anything, her son had revealed to investigators. Everyone would have to wait until the trial, nearly two years later, to learn what had happened to Terry and Haley. In the meantime, speculation was rampant, especially on social media.
And that was extremely difficult for everyone impacted by this case. Especially Haley's aunt, Terry's sister, Amanda. I ended up not being on social media for a while because of the stuff that we were finding out and I'm like, I never heard that. My mom went off social media after that because of that. Because of the horrible things. In June of 2017, a jury trial began.
It was held in the city of Lethbridge, Alberta, about an hour and a half drive east of the Crowsnest Pass. Queens bench justice William Tilleman, a veteran judge, presided over the case. Jurors began hearing graphic evidence against Derek Saretsky, and by then, he was facing another murder charge. Saretsky would stand trial for three counts of first-degree murder.
He was now accused of killing Terry Blanchette, Haley Dunbar Blanchette, and also 69-year-old Hannah Mekatek, who was killed just five days before the other victims. Remember Haley's aunt, Amanda, originally thought police might be referring to Hannah's murder when they put out a release during the Amber Alert for Haley.
I'm going to take you through some of the evidence that was presented to the jury. But before I do, I need to warn you one more time. These details are extremely graphic and disturbing. On September 15th, 2015, at 10:00 a.m., nearly a day after the Amber Alert was issued, Derek Saretsky was put into a cell at the Blairmore RCMP Detachment.
He had been evasive with his arresting officers and wasn't admitting to anything. So police brought in the big guns, so to speak. An officer skilled in interviewing and interrogations. Just before 1 o'clock that afternoon, Sergeant Mike McCauley began questioning Saretsky. That interview was audio and video recorded. And what you're about to hear are excerpts from that conversation.
It started off with some very casual chit-chat. I grew up in Ottawa. I have four kids, believe it or not. Do you have any siblings? Yeah, I do. How many? I've got two brothers. I've got...
Cousins, how many cousins do I have? Four, eight cousins. Oh wow. Ten cousins. Macaulay took his time. He tried to make Saretsky feel comfortable. As if he was opening up to an old friend. Take me back to Sunday if you want. And let's just go through it and let's just take our time and we'll sort this out. Sort it out? How can we sort this out? By getting to the bottom of it and getting to the truth.
Like, that's what I'm here for, is to get to the truth. That's my only job, is to treat you with kindness and respect, with the hopes of getting to the truth of what happened here today. I honestly don't know what happened. Saretsky told the officer it was all a blur. The officer sat with his legs crossed and kept Saretsky talking. And it seemed they could be close to a breakthrough in the conversation. You did mention to your dad that
He did something horrible and the devil's talking to you or something to that effect, right? Yeah. It takes control of me. Sometimes, I don't know why. I don't know how. Even my dreams that I have are... Sometimes I don't... I don't usually have dreams, but I do sometimes. They're just horrible, terrible dreams. Okay. So let's explore that a little bit.
When you said to your dad that you did something horrible, what were you talking about? What was I talking about? I think we both know, I think in order for us to explore and figure out how this happened and why this happened, we just got to be honest with each other, right? And have the courage to be honest. And I'm telling you, if the devil's telling you to do this, then I don't blame you because the devil is a powerful thing, right? But Zaretsky wasn't biting.
The goal was to get him to tell police where they could find Haley and quickly. The Amber Alert was still active. McCauley asked about Cheyenne, Haley's mother. Cereski told him he dated Cheyenne after Haley was born but broke up with her after two or three months and said he hadn't seen her for a few years.
I should note, Cheyenne said she was friends with Saretsky for a few months when Haley was a baby, but has always maintained they were never romantically involved. The officer asked Saretsky if he knew anything about the custody arrangement between Cheyenne and Terry. She's a better mother than he would ever be. Yeah. Is he not a nice guy? I don't know. I didn't really ever talk to him.
Do you see him around town? Yeah, a little bit, but nothing more than that. Did you see him around town much? No. I seen him a month ago or something. And out of them? I get weird voices in my head saying, "You don't like him. You don't like that person. You don't like that person." And so what did you do when you saw him? Just walked past.
If you missed that, Saretsky told the officer he heard voices in his head that told him he didn't like Terry. The officer pushed him further. What brought you to Terry's house the other day? I don't even remember going to Terry's house. No? I don't. What do you remember? Now's the time to have the courage, buddy. I know it's hard.
I know it's probably not something you want to remember, but I know you can remember it. You can remember some of it. And like I said, we'll work through it. But it's super important to have the courage now. I didn't even do it. What part didn't you do? Any of it. God did it, not me. Okay. Were you God's soldier? Or were you the devil's soldier that day? No. God did it himself, as far as I'm concerned.
Syretzky refused to give the officer any information that could help them find Haley. I didn't do anything. I didn't even do it. I get blamed for everything that happens to me. The fingers always pointed at me. He did it. He did it. He did it. And I didn't do it. I didn't. It became a game of cat and mouse. The voices you have, what do they say about Haley right now? That she's in heaven.
Okay, and why do they say that? Like, do you have a vision of where she is? In the stars with Jesus. Okay, and did you help her here and there? No, it's just what God tells me. Would you agree she's really important today? She's really important to a lot of people. Is she important to you? I don't know. I feel bad for the whole family.
Every time Saretsky got close to giving the officer information that could help them find Haley, he would stop short. Where did you last see her? Let's work backwards.
The last time I seen her was when I was... Can I be honest? Years ago. Come on, buddy. It's the first day of the rest of your life. Don't make it a bad day. Don't make it a day that you regret. I don't know. I don't know why everyone's asking me. Oh, you did it. You gotta do it. I didn't do it. I'm not asking if you did it. I didn't do it, so I can't tell you where she is. Because I didn't do any of it. I didn't do any of it.
Macaulay stayed calm and patient.
Zaretsky, on the other hand, not so much. He seemed annoyed the officer wasn't buying his story. Over and over, he denied having any information about Haley's disappearance. But the officer persisted. Be a hero, buddy. Let this community know that you're a hero, not a monster. Is she alive, Derek, or is she dead? Look at me. Is she alive? That's okay. That's okay.
Where is she buddy? Where is she? Is she out in the cold or is she in the house somewhere? Derek? Is she out in the cold? Or did you put her somewhere in the house? Her vehicle or what? She needs to come home. Look at me. I'm here with you. She needs to come home. Where is she buddy? Macaulay leaned in, looked Saretsky right in the eyes, and that's when it happened. Saretsky relented.
And slowly, he revealed shocking details about what he did to Haley. The devil made me turn into ashes. That's okay. That's okay. That's okay. That's okay.
This was the first time Zaretsky had expressed any real emotion through his initial questioning, his arrest, and through hours of interrogation. McCauley put his hand on Zaretsky's shoulder and pushed him to continue. That's okay. Where did you do that? Where did you turn her to ashes, buddy? Where did you turn her to ashes, Derek?
In the bush? What bush? I'm right here with you. Where did the devil make you do it? Can you take me there? I can go for myself. I have to go with you, buddy. I'll go. I told you I'm not gonna leave your side. I'm gonna take you and we'll do this every step of the way together. Let's go do that. Let's go bring her home. Even if they're just ashes, let's bring her home, okay?
The details of what Zaretsky did to two-year-old Haley are extremely difficult to hear. He told the officer the little girl was alive when he put her into the back of one of the work vans and drove her out to the bush. How did you kill her? I choked her. Okay. Okay. Thank you for telling me that. The devil's a fucking bastard, but not you.
Saretsky told the officer he didn't want to explain how Haley suffered, but admitted he choked her with a shoelace.
The officer convinced Saretsky to take him to the spot in the bush where he killed the little girl. All of the confessions were played in court. And I can tell you, it was extremely tough to hear what happened to Haley. And it devastated her family. We didn't know how Haley died. I was under the impression for a long time that she was stabbed. I just remember it really, really bothered me finding out.
After the initial confession at the RCMP detachment, Derek Saretsky got inside a black, unmarked RCMP SUV.
Sergeant McCauley got in the backseat beside Saretsky and he led them out of town, up a gravel road, to a campsite in the mountains. It's right there all those vehicles are driving from. Police were already at the site Saretsky had taken Sergeant McCauley to.
Just a short time earlier, investigators were tipped off to investigate that exact spot. It turned out one of Serecki's cousins stopped an officer on his way into Blairmore and said he had found something weird on a rural property owned by his family.
Saretsky guided the officer to a campsite. There were a few picnic tables around a fire pit. Saretsky stood beside Macaulay with his hands cuffed out in front of him. He stared at the pit. It was still smoldering. What did you do first? I started stocking the fire pile with books, a bunch of books, until I got the fire decently going and put some wood on it.
I feel like I need to warn you one more time. These details are horrific. Serecki said after the fire was raging, he choked Haley and then he dismembered her little body. He drained her blood into a container and drank it. There was a pot on one of the picnic tables that had red stains on it.
It was later swabbed and sent away for DNA testing. That came back as a match to Haley. Serecki said he ate part of her heart. I thought it would be really healthy for me to do, to gain a little bit of strength. Is this the first time you ever ate a human? Yeah. Did you say any prayers or do any rituals or say anything while you were doing all this? I did a prayer.
"I did say a prayer." "What kind of prayer?" "I don't know what the prayer was. God rest your soul." Serecki spoke clearly and was matter of fact. He didn't show any emotion at that point. He told the officer Terry had recently given him a dirty look about a month earlier. He also said he had feelings for Cheyenne.
Serecki said he found the young father asleep in bed. He hit him in the head with a crowbar, then choked him with some rope and cut his throat. He said Terry died quickly. He admitted he had planned to drink Terry's blood, but he couldn't find a good container. He then went upstairs and found Haley asleep in her crib.
He put a pillow over her face so no one would hear her. He put her in the van and took her to the campsite. Serecki described how he burned Haley's remains, along with his clothes, the shoelace and the rope, and some of the other weapons he'd used. He then went back to his apartment, showered, and smoked some weed. At one point in the conversation with Macaulay,
Serecki asked if the officer thought he'd have a chance if he pleaded insanity. Police spent three days sifting through ashes seized from the fire pit. The embers were still so hot that one officer burned his hands as he worked to retrieve evidence.
The RCMP set up a tent over the pit to protect it from weather, along with the media helicopters that were circling overhead. Bone fragments and at least one tooth were found among the ashes. Officers said the remains were fragile and were handled with extreme care. No DNA could be recovered from the bones,
But one expert said with certainty they belonged to a child aged two to four years old. Investigators also found other items at the campsite that were swabbed and came back as a match to Haley. Jurors were also shown photos of the inside of Serecki's apartment, taken during the initial police search in 2015.
His place was sparsely decorated and not very clean. There were knives found throughout the apartment, on the floor, in the kitchen, in his closet, and in a dresser drawer. There was a coffee table with the words, one shot, one kill, etched on the top, and the words, this is not the end, death is only the beginning, written in yellow paint.
On the wall, there was a calendar and the words, Set Me Free and Strength, written over the first few weeks of September 2015. There was a pair of boots with blood on them. Police would later confirm it was Haley's blood on those boots. Investigators found an illustrated medical dictionary, books on serial killers and cannibalism,
as well as a notepad with a list titled Medicine Fresh. At the bottom of that page were church times, listing different dates and times. And there was a list of names. Hannah, Shai, Cheyenne Dunbar, Terry, and the hideous baby. Shai Dunbar.
Terry and the hideous baby. I remember crying. I'm like, how could he say that about her? Like she was not hideous. And I was so upset. And I was crying. I remember crying to my dad that he had said this about Haley. As you can imagine, these details were so upsetting to hear, especially for Haley's aunt, Amanda. All of the names on the list had been crossed out.
The only one who hadn't been murdered was Cheyenne, Haley's mom. The list was significant in the investigation. It made Saretsky a suspect in another homicide case: the death of Hannah Mechatek. Hannah was a 69-year-old woman who lived near Saretsky's grandparents. They were friends.
Saretsky confessed to her murder six months after his arrest during another interview with Sergeant Mike McCauley at the Calgary Remand Center. Hannah was killed five days before Terry and Haley. Saretsky told McCauley he didn't have a reason to murder Hannah, but said she was the first person he ever killed. It was part of the reason to practice for the next one a little bit.
Yeah, yes. Saretsky said he just went to Hannah's home and did it. Kicked the door, hit her with a baseball bat, stabbed her, and then left. Court found Hannah died from a combination of blunt and sharp force trauma. Derek Saretsky's defense lawyer didn't present any evidence during the trial.
I'm sure a lot of you might be wondering why Saretsky's lawyer didn't argue he should be found not criminally responsible, or NCR, and bring up some sort of insanity defense. That's because there were two court-ordered psychiatric assessments, and it was determined Saretsky couldn't use a defense of NCR by reason of mental disorder.
After three weeks of hearing graphic evidence, it took jurors just three hours to find Derek Zaretsky guilty of all three counts of first-degree murder in the deaths of Hannah, Terry, and Haley.
Just over a month after the trial wrapped up, family and friends of the victims once again assembled at the Lethbridge Courthouse for a sentencing hearing for the triple murderer. Loved ones of his three victims told court how they've been impacted by these horrific crimes. Amanda told court their lives had become a real-life horror show.
They're left with no real answer to why. Why Terry? Why Haley? I just, I've come to the conclusion he hated Terry. You know, he, I really think because, you know, you look at pictures of Derek before, he just looks like some dumbass punk kid, right? He does. You look at Derek kind of after, and you look at his eyes, something snapped inside of him. Like, you look in his eyes, he looks dead. Just evil.
You know, something has changed in his eyes. Like, you look at the pictures of him after all this started to happen. He looks different. There's something lost in his eyes. And I'm sure something just snapped and, you know. First-degree murder comes with an automatic life sentence. But because Derek Serecki was convicted of multiple murders, the judge had the option of handing down consecutive parole ineligibilities.
That meant it could be 25 years, 50 years, or 75 years before Serecki could even apply for parole. Queens bench justice William Tilleman said, "...this killer's actions tore a hole in the fabric of the Crowsnest Pass."
Tilleman called Zaretsky dangerous and sentenced him to life in prison with no chance of parole for 75 years. He was also sentenced to five years in prison for causing an indignity to Haley's body to be served concurrently. There's a growing list of multiple murderers in Canada who have been sentenced to consecutive parole ineligibilities.
Those include triple murderer Douglas Garland and double murderer Edward Downey. Derek Serecki will be 97 years old before he can even apply for parole, which means there is next to no chance he'll ever be free again.
Saretsky has since filed an appeal of his conviction for the murder of Hannah Mekatek. He's seeking an acquittal or a new trial. That appeal will be heard in early 2020. He's also appealing his sentence. The families of Saretsky's victims are bracing to relive the nightmare all over again. Just when you start to realize
Not really lay them to rest, but things start to, you're adjusting and life's starting to go a bit more smoothly. Bam, it's out there right in your face again. You know, we just want this to be done and over with so we can heal. Derek Zaretsky's actions have torn so many lives apart. So many people have pain that will never heal. That includes his own mother. And every single day I wonder...
Is he still alive? Is he okay? Because he is my son and I'll love him beyond death. You know, no matter what he's done, it just, the love doesn't go away, especially when you share a heartbeat. We all make mistakes. Everybody makes mistakes. Not horrible like Derek did, but that shouldn't define who he is because that's not who he was or who he is.
One of the hardest parts for Sherry is she has no one she can talk to who really understands what she's going through. I have searched and searched and searched for support groups or just somebody who understands to talk to. And I've not been able to find anything except for in Australia. And you have to be from Australia to join the group. And...
I was really let down by that, but then there was this little voice in my head that said, "It's you. It's you." I think, like, I can't. I'm, like, shattered. I cannot do that. But maybe, maybe this is God's plan in it. Sherry hopes one day she can help someone else in her same position. Whether they've gone through it or may go through it in the future, I've learned a lot of things that could help people.
The families of the victims have an entirely different pain to deal with. For Amanda, her loved ones are gone and time isn't making that any easier. For me, it's important that they be remembered. Like, sometimes I wake up and I'm gasping because I can't picture Haley anymore. I can't remember her voice. They try to celebrate the birthdays that Terry and Haley should still be here for.
And there's quiet moments spent at their grave site. You know, it seems a little bit goofy, but you know, I'll clean off their headstone and, you know, they've got flowers and toys and candles and they're kind of decorated. And, you know, I'll talk to them. You know, sometimes I cry, sometimes I don't. But I'll talk to them. You know, I read a lot of books, did some counseling, did all that after this happens, you know, to try to be okay. And, you know, something, I read something somewhere about
and this was it made the greatest impact for me being okay and it said don't fight it because you know what what's done is done there is nothing don't play the what if game there is nothing that's going to change this and you know what those were probably the most powerful words because they're right don't fight it why am i fighting there why am i saying oh what if they had a dog and the dog could have protected them or what if haley was gone with her mom or you know what if no
Don't play that in your mind. You're only making it worse because there is no what if. It's over. You can't change it. Amanda is one of the most inspiring people I know. Together with her husband, she's raising four kids. Not an easy task when your whole world has been ripped apart. But Amanda chooses every day to honor Terry and Haley.
by living life to the fullest. It really did change my perspective on life. Gratitude. You know, I remember reading something about be grateful that you are here, that you are on this side of the ground, even when it's not a good day, be grateful. And you know what? I look every day and I'm like, you know what? And I do, I wake up, I'm like, you know, thank you for my family. Thank you for my job. Thank you for my kids. And I am, I am grateful for everything I have in this life.
And I even say to myself, thank you for the time that you gave me with Terry and Haley. Even though, you know, they're gone, I am grateful for that time. And when Amanda needs to see Terry and Haley, there's a special video she'll watch. Haley was just a baby when it was taken. She went on and on in her own little baby babble. She looked directly into her father's eyes and held his hands with her tiny fingers.
Terry pretended it was an adult conversation, and they chatted back and forth. Really? No way. They were an amazing pair. You know, she did so much for him. She was his angel. She was his saving grace. That's what I always think. Thank you for joining me and letting me share this difficult story with you. Crime Beat is written and produced by me, Nancy Hixt, with producer Dila Velasquez.
Our audio producer is Rob Johnston. Special thanks to photographer-editor Danny Lantella for his work on this series, as well as Chris Bassett, the National Director of Content and Editorial Standards for Global News. I would love to have you tell a friend about this podcast, and you can help me share these important stories by rating and reviewing Crime Beat on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen.
If you have a question about one of the episodes, about crime reporting in general, or a question about me, send them my way. You can find me on Twitter at Nancy Hixt, on Facebook at Nancy Hixt Crime Beat, and I'd love to have you join me for added content on Instagram at nancy.hixt. You can also email me at nancy.hixt at globalnews.ca. That
That's n-a-n-c-y dot h-i-x-t at globalnews.ca. Thanks so much for listening. Please join me next time.
