cover of episode Confidence Classic: How to turn Perfectionism into POWER! With Katherine Morgan Schafler, Psychotherapist & Author

Confidence Classic: How to turn Perfectionism into POWER! With Katherine Morgan Schafler, Psychotherapist & Author

2024/10/10
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Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
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Katherine Morgan Schafler: 本书探讨了完美主义的多种表现形式，并非单一模式。完美主义是一种能力，它使我们能够设想理想并努力实现，但它也具有建设性和破坏性的一面。关键在于管理和引导，找到平衡点。完美主义者会注意到理想与现实的差距，并主动尝试缩小差距。文化因素会影响对完美主义的理解和评价，例如性别差异。社会对女性完美主义的评价与对男性不同，这与性别刻板印象有关。社会对女性抱有偏见，对女性的成功和野心往往持负面评价。不应该试图消除完美主义，而应该学习如何管理和利用它。完美主义本身并非坏事，关键在于设定界限并有意识地利用它。完美主义的类型并非一成不变，而是会随着个人情况而变化。引导人们从缺乏自我价值感、恐惧和焦虑中走出来，走向自爱、自我同情，并把完美主义转化为动力。自我同情并非简单的善待自己，而是一种三步的韧性构建技能，包括自我仁慈、共同人性、正念。人们往往用控制代替权力，而自我同情是获得权力的途径之一。改变语言可以改变视角，积极的换位思考有助于提升自我认知。这本书是为了那些感到迷茫并渴望连接的人而写。人们追求控制是因为缺乏权力感，而真正的力量在于认识到自身价值的永恒性。完美主义者常常误以为需要努力才能获得快乐和价值感，而实际上，价值感是与生俱来的。 Heather Monahan: 作为一名反完美主义者，我对完美主义的理解是：完美主义者往往伪装自己，追求完美的外在形象，内心却可能承受着痛苦，例如饮食失调。完美主义是一种掩盖恐惧的伪装，关键在于自我反省，了解自身需求和理想。寻求帮助并非软弱，而是坚持不懈的表现。积极的自我重塑和自我同情能够帮助人们摆脱完美主义的束缚，找到真正的力量。

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Perfectionism, an innate human tendency, is the drive to bridge the gap between reality and ideals. It's a power with a dichotomy, constructive and destructive, influenced by cultural and societal factors, especially for women. The key lies in introspection, understanding your motivations, and setting boundaries.
  • Perfectionism is an innate human tendency.
  • It involves bridging the gap between reality and ideals.
  • Cultural factors influence how perfectionism is perceived, especially for women.
  • The key to healthy perfectionism is understanding one's motivations and setting boundaries.

Shownotes Transcript

In This Episode You Will Learn About: 

  • The pros & cons of perfectionism 

  • Getting introspective  

  • Stepping into your POWER

  • The 5 different perfectionist personality types 

  • Reframing our mindset

 

Resources:

Show Notes: 

Ever wonder if you’re a TRUE perfectionist? Perfectionism can show itself in MANY different ways! No matter what you look like or where you come from, you deserve to feel comfortable going after what you want, passionately. In order to become the BEST version of yourself, you have to turn inward and get in touch with your true self. Katherine Morgan Schafler, psychotherapist and author joins me to detail the 5 different types of perfectionists, and explain which category we may fall in... Take the first step to discover if your perfectionism is healthy, and ask yourself, WHY am I striving for these goals? 

About The Guest:

Katherine Morgan Schafler is a psychotherapist, writer, speaker, and the former onsite therapist at Google! She earned her Bachelor’s degree in psychology at UC Berkeley before obtaining two Masters from Columbia University, one focused on clinical assessment and the other on psychological counseling. Today, Katherine works with ambitious, perfectionistic NYC women whose lives seem to be going pretty well on the outside – but privately, they're hurting. 

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