The High Cost of Not Letting Go
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What I know about you as a leader is you care about your mission and the people you lead. But what if I told you it's possible to care too much? Your care can actually become counterproductive. The title of today's episode is The Cost of Not Letting Go.

Hey, it's great to have you back for another episode of the Craig Rochelle Leadership Podcast. Our mission is to help you become a leader that people love to follow. And we're going to work really, really hard to bring you content each month that helps you grow in your leadership.

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Today, we're going to talk about some counterintuitive leadership ideas. If you're relatively new to leading, you likely embrace some common leadership misconceptions.

I'll give you three. These are three beliefs that I used to have and three common misconceptions I see in newer leaders. Number one, we tend to think that to grow bigger, you must do more. Number two, to lead better, you must get closer. Number three, to lead bigger, you have to know more. To grow bigger, you must do more. To lead better, you must get closer. To lead bigger, you have to know more.

Remember, these are common misconceptions. And the reason that these things are easy to believe is because there is some truth in them. For example, early on to grow bigger, you do have to work harder. You do have to do more than other people. To go farther, to impact more, you need to be hands-on. You need to care about your mission. To lead bigger, you do need to know a lot about a lot of different things. But...

What's seemingly necessary early will inevitably limit your leadership later. Let me say it again. Whatever you think you really have to do early on, if you don't change the way you think, it will limit your leadership later. What's seemingly necessary early

will inevitably limit your leadership later. I'll try to explain it this way. In jujitsu, if you don't know what jujitsu is, if you're watching MMA whenever the fighters drop to the ground and start rolling around in each other, that's jujitsu. In jujitsu, there's a saying, whoever controls the distance controls the fight.

Whoever controls the distance controls the fight. For example, an inexperienced fighter might be preparing to defend himself or herself, and they may stand one or two feet away from the opponent. The problem is if you're a couple of feet away from the opponent, you are within striking distance. Your attacker can strike you with a fist, an elbow, a knee, a foot, a headbutt, or whatever. So an experienced fighter is going to do what? He or she is going to manage the

the distance. There are two places that are safer than in the striking zone. One is get farther away. You're out of the striking range. Or two, you actually get really, really close. You get close enough to wrap up the opponent. It's counterintuitive. You don't tend to think that being close is safe, but if you can get really, really close, you can eliminate their strength in a blow.

When you're in an offensive position, you always try to close the distance. If you're attacking, you want to be close. But when you're defending, you want to create space or distance. No matter what, you want to control the distance. This is similar in leadership.

There is a time that you want to be really, really close. And there's a time that you want to strategically create some distance. There are times you want to be hands on. And in leadership, there are times you strategically want to and need to be hands off. I say it this way. You want to be sometimes strategically present other times. And oftentimes, and this is counterintuitive, you actually want to be strategically absent. Now,

Now, when you are strategically absent, this doesn't mean you don't care about the outcome. You always do care, but you're not controlling the outcome. And this is very, very important. If your organization cannot be effective without you,

Your organization is limited by you if they can't be effective without your presence Then you are the greatest limiting factor to progress. Let me tell you right now. You are the ceiling So let's talk about our title What is the cost of not letting go when you care too much? When you're over controlling you actually create three massive problems

What are they? Let's talk about them. When you don't let go, number one, you will limit the growth of your developing leaders. Number two, you will limit the tenure of your strongest leaders. Number three, you will limit the impact of your organizational mission. What's going to happen? You're going to limit the growth of your developing leaders, the tenure of your strongest leaders, and the impact of your organizational mission. So let's break these down one by one because they are ridiculously important. Number one,

If you are too controlling, you will limit the growth of your developing leaders. I'm going to talk about something we've talked about a million times before, and we're going to talk about a million times again. If you are too controlling, you will never raise strong leaders. Why?

Because you can have control or you can have growth, but you can't have both. At some point, the good news is you're going to realize I can't do it all anymore. And so you're going to decide, okay, I'm finally going to delegate something.

How and what you delegate matters more than you can ever imagine. And here's what tends to happen in most scenarios. Most leaders are simply going to delegate tasks. They're essentially going to say, hey, junior beginner leader, do exactly what I tell you to do.

And quite honestly, sometimes you have to start there, but you do not want to stay there. You don't want to be overbearing and always breathing over their shoulder, making sure they do it exactly the way that you want them to do. If you do that, you're going to be limiting them and the potential in your organization. And I've said it a billion times before. You're going to hear it again. When you delegate tasks, you create followers, right?

When you tell them to do specifically what you want them to do, how you want them to do it, when you want them to do it, you are creating people who know how to follow orders. When you delegate tasks, you create followers. But when you delegate authority, you create leaders. What is the difference? A task is do this in this specific way. Giving them authority is, here's the project.

I trust you to figure out how. Here's the outcome that we desire. You go and design assist to get the designated outcome. That's delegating authority. And there is a big difference between delegating authority and delegating task. The biggest difference is the outcome and what delegating authority does to the leader who's learning how to create something that brings about the desired outcome. So what do we know about developing leaders in your organization or people around you?

Whenever you trust a developing leader, they feel honored and they really want to please you. And here's what's interesting. If you're giving them a project, while you can only devote a portion of your energy to that project, they can devote the majority of their energy to the project. And they may struggle at first. They often do, I promise you. But with coaching and with time, they will get better. And one day that leader could become great, great,

and probably even better than you. And here's what's so much fun. When they start to focus on something, they specialize, they get really good in assignment, a task, a project, an area of focus, they will often eventually do what you used to do except

exceedingly better than you did because they become experts, they specialize. And this is when everyone starts winning. What happens? They feel valued because they're making a difference. They grow. They know that you trust them. They're getting better. They're making a contribution to the organization. And what happens to you? Your time is freed up. You have a rising leader with you and your whole organization gets better. Now, some of you are gonna say, but okay, Craig, what if I develop them

and they get better and they leave? That's a fair question. And they might, like you may help them get better. Like, hey, I got what I need here. And they go get a promotion somewhere else. That's a fair question. But a better question is this. Most people ask, what if I develop them and they leave? A better question is this. What if you don't help them get better and they stay?

This is on you. One of your biggest assignments, calling, missions as a leader is to help develop the people around you, and you cannot develop them if you do not trust them. Your need to control, it creates three problems. Number one, we talked about it. You limit the growth if you're developing leaders. The second thing is you'll limit the tenure of your strongest leaders.

If you are over-controlling, plain and simple, if you don't let your best leaders lead, your best leaders will eventually leave. Let me say it again. This is so important. Please hear me. If you don't empower them, if you don't trust them, if you don't let your best leaders lead, your best leaders will eventually leave. We see it all the time.

Truth is, anytime I work with any kind of organization, and maybe I'm talking to a very talented senior leader, a CEO, a lead pastor, or whatever, I'm always looking at the next two layers. I'm going to see the leaders below the point leader. I'm going to see the next leader down. And anytime the next two layers are weaker, what I always know every single time is that senior leader is too controlling every single time without exception. Right?

On our team, I am indescribably thankful for the leaders, the next several layers of leaders. And I'm also thankful we have almost no turnover at the top of our organization. In fact, the three leaders that I serve with, Jerry, Bobby, and Sam, we call them the DLT, the Directional Leadership Team. These leaders have been with me for 26 of the 28 years of our church. I'm extraordinarily thankful. People ask, how do you keep your team together? And I need to tell you,

There are lots of factors, too many to talk about here, but at the top of the list is that I have to trust them, empower them, and let them lead. They lead. They create. They have ideas. They get to implement their ideas. They get credit for their ideas. They get promoted, and they get celebrated. Their opinion matters. Why?

because they have real valuable influence. Some people ask me sometimes like, what is the secret to Life.Church continuing to grow and reach more people 28 years into it? I'll tell you right now, it is not me. It is not me. It's not my gifts. It's not my leadership. It is the power of God through a team of world-class leaders.

leaders. And the trust has to go deep into the organization, not just to a layer below or two below it. It has to go deep into the organization to trusting and empowering the people on the front lines. You can tell how strong a team is by how deep

to trust goes. And I'll tell you this right now, you can never be big if you don't trust deep. You have to start at the top and trust deeper and deeper and empower more. And it's not easy and it takes time and it doesn't always go perfectly, but you have to do it. You will never get there overnight.

But you have to get there. You have to make progress. If you as a leader are not doing less today, fewer things today, focusing in on the more important things today than you were a year ago, you are the limiting factor in your organization. You are limiting the other leaders around you and not letting them get better. And you're decreasing the likelihood that they're going to stay with you. You're going to say, okay, I believe you and I want to do this. But what if I don't trust you?

My leaders, maybe not just trust their character, but what if you don't trust their abilities? Well, if you don't trust your leaders, either you have not developed them or you have the wrong leaders. Either way, the problem is yours to solve. Let me say this again. If you do not trust your leaders is on you.

Either you haven't developed them, you haven't helped them grow to the point where their leadership potential is effective, or you have the wrong people around you. And either way, this problem is yours to solve. It's on you.

As leaders, our unwillingness to let go, it creates three massive problems. What happens? Number one is we limit the growth of our developing leaders. The second thing is we limit the tenure of our strongest leaders. The third thing is if you are too controlling, number three is you will limit the impact of your organizational mission. You will do it. You will be the limiting factor. Why? Because you can't do it all. You can't know it all.

You can't be an expert in every single area. You can't. You will stop the growth. So if you don't let go, you'll become the greatest limiting force to your future impact. Give you a little story. I've told this before, but it was a game-changing moment.

Two and a half years into the church, Jerry Hurley was attending. And if you're watching along, I'll show you some photos of Jerry. He was a district manager for Target. He helped oversee 11 stores. I was in my late 20s, and I invited Jerry to come on staff. And after a lot of praying, his family made one of the most ridiculous sacrifices I've ever seen and joined us. And he came to me soon into his leadership, and he said, hey, we need to buy a copier.

And I think the copier was $700. And I said, we are not going to buy a copier. And I told Jerry very confidently, we will never, ever own a copier.

That's how dumb I was. Dumber than dumb. We'll never own a copier. There's Kinko's. You can drive to Kinko's. And he just kind of looked at me and he was older than I was, exceedingly more seasoned in leadership than I was. And he said, hey, we need to buy a copier. And he said, if you'll trust me on this and let me do what I know how to do, then you can do what you do best. And together we can impact this city and maybe much more.

And that conversation was like life changing for me. That's what I did. I trusted him and he did what he knew how to do. And he trusted me and I did what I knew how to do. And together we impacted our city and a lot more. Um,

At the time, I was the best at recognizing talent and calling in people until Jerry Hurley came on. And he was as good then or better, and now he is exceedingly better than I am. He has helped create a world-class leadership development culture. And if I didn't let him do it, he wouldn't stay. If I didn't trust him, he wouldn't have helped me get better. If I didn't trust and empower him, he wouldn't have gotten better. And everyone wins when the leader gets better. You have to trust.

You have to trust. Remember, trust is the currency of organizational progress. Without trust, there is no lasting progress.

I am thankful that my top leaders will tell you, if you ask them, that we trust each other implicitly. I know what it means to be hands-on, and I was way, way more hands-on early on because it was more important and strategic then. But I know when to give them distance. I know when to give them space. I know when to give them freedom. And let me just be real clear. I

I am still the senior pastor. You sound, I am the boss. I answer to God for the direction of our church. But even at that, it is exceedingly rare that I ever make what I would call a solo top-down decision.

I mean, it's almost never do I come in and say, this is the way it's going to be. Why? Because I don't have to. In fact, if you ask my top leaders, they would tell you it's probably one time, maybe every three to five years, like literally one time, maybe in the last, I'd say five years where I'd come in and say, kind of like the say of the Lord, like this is what we're doing. And you may say, okay, Craig, like, why don't you lead stronger more often? And the reason is because I am not the most important. I'm not the smartest. I'm not the best. I'm just a good player on a great team.

And that's the way it works. I'm effective at what I do. And I'm doing my job, my calling with people who are ridiculously effective at what they do. And you're going to ask me, were they always great? And the answer is like, no, they actually weren't. When Jerry came on, all I knew was business. And I had to teach him the pastoral side of business. But all I knew was pastoring. He had to teach me the business side of pastoring. And together we got better.

It took years of developing our top leaders and trusting them and trying and failing and getting better and rebuilding trust when things go wrong. And now together, years later, we're doing something that is God-honoring and incredibly special. And that is what I want for you. And that's why I'm going to work harder than you can imagine to bring you content that helps you grow in your leadership. That is what I want for you. But more importantly, I believe that's what God wants for you.

And as you likely know, unless it's your first time, I'm a pastor, I'm a follower of Christ. And for the purpose of this podcast, I'm not preaching sermons, I am teaching leadership.

And I know that our audience is broad. We've got people from all different faith backgrounds, some with a lot of faith, some with like no faith. I'm just honored that you're here. And so I don't want this to be preachy, but I just want to say and acknowledge because I am a follower of Jesus. To me, it's pretty dang cool that at the end of his ministry, Jesus gave his disciples an assignment. He said, go into all the world, preach the gospel, make disciples, baptizing them, um,

in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. And it was really special to me that Jesus was clear about what he wanted his followers to do, but he didn't tell them how to do it. He was clear about the what, but he trusted them or he trusted us with the how. This is true empowerment. I love this. I mean, if you look at Jesus through a leadership lens, what did he do?

He taught his disciples the kingdom values. He told them to be great, you actually serve others. And then he modeled it. He said, there is no greater love than a man lays down his life for his friends. And that's what he did. Jesus demonstrated his love when he gave his life on a cross and he invites us to do the same thing. This is so special to me. Like God trusts me.

God trusts you. And it's not just to lead your church or lead your business or lead your nonprofit, but he trusts you to lead the people that he loves. And one of the greatest acts of love is to trust them, to empower them, to believe in them, to help them get better. Because we know that everyone wins when the leader gets better.

I want to say a sincere thank you to being part of our community. Would you invite others to be a part? Share on social media. It means the world to me. And in the next episode on the first Thursday of next month, we're going to do part two of this. And I'm going to share some emotional and personal thoughts that I hope will connect with you and help you get better. Guess what happened today? You did get a little bit better.

You're stretching yourself, you're growing, you're investing in yourself. Why? Because you're a great leader. You're a great leader in development, getting better every single day. I thank God for you. I believe in you. You're getting better. We know everyone wins when the leader gets better.