cover of episode I’m a Very Normal Person with Very Normal Hobbies

I’m a Very Normal Person with Very Normal Hobbies

2024/9/26
logo of podcast Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Chapters

The episode begins with an ad for Samsung OLED TVs, highlighting their cinematic experience and features. It then transitions to an ad for ADT security systems, emphasizing home protection. Finally, the introduction segment includes a call for fan submissions and an ad for SiriusXM.
  • Samsung OLED TVs offer a cinematic experience at home.
  • ADT security systems provide home protection and control.
  • Listeners can submit to be on the podcast.

Shownotes Transcript

You know what's nice in the old days if you wanted a cinematic experience? You had to go to the movie theater. Yeah. You had to get your ass to a movie theater. Not anymore. With Samsung OLED, you get a full cinematic experience without leaving your couch. There's actually a brand new Samsung OLED here in Team Cocoa Studio.

And it's tough to stay focused on podcasting when the picture quality is this good. I'm always losing track. Oh. I'm supposed to be interviewing one of the great people in history, and I start drifting away from them. I've noticed. Because I'm looking at the amazing picture on the Samsung OLED. Yeah, you drop the ball a lot. Maybe. Yeah.

Yeah. The AI-powered processor upscales your favorite content in brilliant 4K resolution. You get to experience colors on a TV as they're meant to be seen because this is the only OLED TV validated by the industry-leading color experts at Pantone. Plus, on OLED S95D, you get OLED glare-free technology so you can watch everything you love with nearly no glare. I can't stand glare. When there's glare, I can't even see the picture. Yeah. The picture. The picture. The picture.

Gamers, you're covered too. Hey, gamers, don't worry. What's that? Gamers, you're covered too. Oh, really? Yes. Motion Accelerator 144 hertz delivers ultra smooth motion and AI auto game mode tailors your game settings to its genre.

Speaking of gaming, you know, we're going to be filming another Clueless Gamer. Bly, what game are we playing this time? I like to surprise you, so I don't want to tell you. We're also narrowing the games down. So if you out there have an idea of a game you want us to play, go to Team Coco podcast on Instagram and leave us a comment and we might pick that game. Can't wait to see how great this game looks on the Samsung OLED TV. And I'm just going to add it's AI powered upscaling. That's right. Stay tuned for the next Clueless Gamer releasing late November.

Man, we were just in summer and then we're like rocketing into Halloween. I know. I'm on the beach wearing my Speedo 10 minutes ago. Oh, no. Now I'm dressed up as a guy in a Speedo on Halloween. What?

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When every second counts, count on ADT. Visit ADT.com today or call 1-800-ADTASAP. Google and Google Nest Doorbell are trademarks of Google LLC. Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit TeamCoco.com slash call Conan. Okay, let's get started.

Hi. Hi, Mara. Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. Hi. Hi, Mara. How are you? Nice to meet you all. Nice to meet you too, Mara. Where are you? Where are you in the world? I'm from Vienna, Austria. Are you in Vienna right now? I am in Vienna right now, yes. I have never been to Vienna. I love Vienna. I think, was Vienna where they shot the movie Mozart? Yeah.

Which one? There are several. Amadeus? Amadeus. They shot the third man. Oh, the third man in Vienna. That's right. I don't know. Vienna is one of those cities that I've always wanted to visit because it's just magical. I've heard. It's beautiful. It's genuinely one of my favorite cities. So, Mara, you live in Vienna, Austria, which I think sounds lovely. I'm sensing a lot of pink.

Oh no, it's awful. Just the worst color ever. It looks like you're in a scene from Barbie. I'm sensing that, do you like pink? Is pink maybe your favorite color? That's the sense I'm getting just in this scene I'm seeing. It is. It is, yeah. It's kind of a bleak story.

I dated my ex-boyfriend for too long and I toned myself down for him. And after he kicked me out with five days to get lost, basically, I decided, okay, I'm going to stop that. I'm going to love myself so much more and just be the brightest version of myself. And then I also came out as gay. Okay. Well, first of all... Double whammy. But are you happier now?

I am so happy. Good. That's all that's important. I mean, that's the important thing. And also, in a way, it's a very, it's a powerful story because you found yourself and I like that you're just doubling down on what gives you joy. Colored pink, I'm going for it. You know, good for you. Yeah. I would just like to mention that we have the same hairstyle. Yes, I was going to say.

Your hair looks, maybe I should dye my hair pink. Go pink? I should go pink. What do you think? Do it. Mara, what do you think? It's such a great color. It's such a great color. It's so complimentary. Though you have a lot of pink undertones, so maybe not. No.

I have pink undertones? Are you saying that my skin... What are you saying? She started off so like, you gotta do it, and you're like, oh wait, never mind. You're already too pink, as she said. Do you realize I have advanced liver failure? I mean, me too, maybe, so... Okay, good. Oh, wow. Well, how? Hey, we're...

Hey, as long as we're all laughing about how our bodies are shutting down. Well, tell me a little bit about yourself. What do you do, Mara? Tell us a little bit. What's your full name, Mara? Oh, gosh. My full name is Mara Emilia Langenberger. Oh, my goodness. That is a long name. That is a very long name. Mara Emilia Langenberger. Langenberger. Langenberger.

Yeah. That sounds like a really cool beer. Yeah. Langenbecker. I would like another Langenbecker. Sorry. I'm just going to market that, if you don't mind. Without your permission. Sure, go ahead. What are your hobbies? What do you like to do? Well, I'm a very normal person with very normal hobbies. You know, Mara. Wait a minute. Mara. Whenever people say that. Uh-oh.

It means that we're in for a world of weirdness. Murderer. Yeah. So tell me, what is... Let's hear it. Let's hear it, Mara. So maybe there are several taxidermy hamsters in my apartment right now. So you like taxidermied... Do you like all animals taxidermied or just hamsters?

No, I like all taxidermied animals. Okay. I just happen to have a couple of hamsters. Okay. So how do you acquire these animals to taxidermy them? And here's where we reveal that you're possibly...

A dangerous person. I strangle... Actually, I send my cats out. No, no, what do you really do? I send my cats out to murder hamsters and get them exterminated. Hamster murderer? I'm going to say, Mara, just by talking to you, you seem like a gentle soul, and I believe that you probably do not harm any animals. Is that true? No, um...

They are all ethical taxidermy. That means the animals died of natural causes or they are just vintage and extremely old. Okay, so...

By vintage, you don't mean alive. Because I'm old, I'm vintage, but still here. You mean that you find animals that have suffered a massive heart attack. Yes. They've passed on already, and then you taxidermy them. I don't taxidermy them myself. I work with an artist who is extremely talented.

And how many of these... She does the taxidermy. Okay. I like that, though. I like ethically taxidermied animals. Animals that have already passed on. I only eat... I eat meat, but I will only eat...

a steak where the cow passed away. It was pet to death? Yeah, old age or sometimes if the cow was in a car accident and passed on, then I'll eat the cow. Old diseased cows. That's what you like. That's my way and I'm ethical. What about cows that have died from mad cow disease? Now you're getting crazy. But if they had mad cow disease and were stupid enough to get on a motorcycle and then got killed, I'd eat them.

Mara, we went on a little bit of a stupid, yeah, and I apologize. And you're better than that, and I'm not. Okay, so you like taxidermying animals. Yes. And how many of these taxidermy animals do you have? I own a cat skull.

It's not taxidermied. It's just a skull. Back there is Miss Daisy. It's a little duckling and two hamsters. Okay, so that's the full complement. That's everything you have? No, there's currently a third hamster on the way. On the way, you mean you're just waiting for him to die. Yeah.

He's in hospice. He's in hospice. He's in hospice. You check in every now and then. How you doing there, Mr. He's been in a coma for a very long time. How you doing there, Mr. Pips? We're waiting to pull the plug and then we can actually go. Actually, today I'm feeling a little better. Really? No, you don't.

Oh my God. She just pushed the hamster off. No, no, no. She put the pillow. There's a pillow. Did you put, did you ever walk in, did you ever walk into the hamster with a tiny little hamster sized pillow? With a tiny hamster pillow. Sleep well, Mr. Pips. What else do you do? Up the tiny hamster pillow.

Tell us a little more about yourself. Besides taxidermying, tell me other interesting things about you, things that you do with your time. I'm a textile designer. I design fabrics. Very good. Yeah, the dress that I made is from a fabric that I made, and I made the dress as well. Wow, you're very talented. Yeah, all of this back here is from me personally.

Yeah. Very good. That's very impressive. That's very impressive. Some trips are better in an Airbnb. It's just true. Like the trip you want to take with extended family where you want to stay close, but not all be sharing one bathroom. That's key for me. Okay. That's why Airbnb is the choice I often want to make. Or for example, the couple's getaway where you'd rather have your own pool than share one with a bunch of strangers. Oh, when I'm in a pool with strangers, I start shrieking. Yeah.

Okay, that's weird. Or that last minute local getaway when you just really need to get out of the city for the weekend but don't want to deal with the airport. You know, I have to say, I've used Airbnb a couple of times and it always makes me feel like I'm at home even when I'm away. Do you have that? I do too. I mean, I have, you know, I have two small kids who are loud and so when I'm in a hotel, I feel a little uncomfortable. Well, you're loud too. Oh, yes. Okay.

Okay, yeah, we're all loud. And then in an Airbnb, I just feel much more comfortable. You're not a self-conscious. No. Yeah, and also you're staying in someone's home. It's got that vibe of comfort, relaxation, normalcy instead of some stuffy hotel. Yeah. I don't want a mint on my pillow.

Hey, Blay, you use Airbnb, don't you? I do. I love it. And I will say, staying in someone's place really does add a lot. I'm a huge Stephen King fan, and the last Airbnb I stayed in had this book, From a Buick 8, which is one of the few Stephen King books I haven't read. So I actually started reading it in the Airbnb. It was pretty awesome. And you know what I do sometimes when I'm at an Airbnb? I often travel with a picture of myself in a frame. Oh, boy. And I take it out, and I put it up, and it feels like home. Yeah.

I travel with my own framed headshot. Do you leave it there as a gift? No! That's mine. Those things are precious. So if you're booking a trip soon, my number one tip is to check out Airbnb first to find the perfect place to stay because your accommodation really does make all the difference.

You know what's nice in the old days if you wanted a cinematic experience? You had to go to the movie theater. Yeah. You had to get your ass to a movie theater. Not anymore. With Samsung OLED, you get a full cinematic experience without leaving your couch. There's actually a brand new Samsung OLED here in Team Cocoa Studio.

And it's tough to stay focused on podcasting when the picture quality is this good. I'm always losing track. Oh. I'm supposed to be interviewing one of the great people in history, and I start drifting away from them. I've noticed. Because I'm looking at the amazing picture on the Samsung OLED. Yeah, you drop the ball a lot. Maybe. Yeah.

Yeah. The AI-powered processor upscales your favorite content in brilliant 4K resolution. You get to experience colors on a TV as they're meant to be seen because this is the only OLED TV validated by the industry-leading color experts at Pantone. Plus, on OLED S95D, you get OLED glare-free technology so you can watch everything you love with nearly no glare. I can't stand glare. When there's glare, I can't even see the picture. Yeah. The picture. The picture. The picture.

Gamers, you're covered too. Hey, gamers, don't worry. What's that? Gamers, you're covered too. Oh, really? Yes. Motion Accelerator 144 hertz delivers ultra smooth motion and AI auto game mode tailors your game settings to its genre.

Speaking of gaming, you know, we're going to be filming another Clueless Gamer. Bly, what game are we playing this time? I like to surprise you, so I don't want to tell you. We're also narrowing the games down. So if you out there have an idea of a game you want us to play, go to Team Coco podcast on Instagram and leave us a comment and we might pick that game. Can't wait to see how great this game looks on the Samsung OLED TV. And I'm just going to add it's AI powered upscaling. That's right. Stay tuned for the next Clueless Gamer releasing late November.

Experience TV the way it's meant to be seen with Samsung OLED. Visit samsung.com slash OLED to learn more. Upscaling utilizes AI-based algorithms. Viewing experiences may vary according to types of content and format.

You know what I love, Sona? What? Football season. Hell yeah. Football season is here. All the rituals. I get together with my buddies, my gang. Mm-hmm. My choes. Choes. I don't know what that is. Is that a word? Choes. I think it's chums and bros. You're choes. Oh, yeah, thank you. Yeah. Chums and bros are choes. Oh, okay. You heard it here first.

Anyway, when we get together, we watch the game. Friendly rivalries. I like my team. Oh, yeah? I prefer mine. That kind of talk. Football talk. But you know what's a big part of a ritual for me? Miller Lite. Miller Lite knows the passion that comes with rooting for your team. They get it. That's why Miller Lite keeps it simple. Let me explain. Please. Undebatable quality. Great taste.

Only 96 calories. That's it. That's nothing. That's nothing. That's like a Tic Tac. Only beer. It's the beer that strips away everything you don't need and holds on to what matters most. Make your game time taste like Miller time. Tastes great, less filling. Let it be both. Okay? To get Miller Lite delivered right to your door, hello, visit MillerLite.com slash Conan Ding Dong. Miller Lite here. Hey! Hey!

You can find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories per 12 ounces. Fewer cows and carbs than premium regular beer. This message is brought to you by BetterHelp. We all have things that we're afraid of. I'm terrified of, say, doing a podcast or doing a comedic talk show for 28 years. Ooh.

Scares the daylights out of me, but I did it anyway. That's true. But seriously, I do, you know, a lot of fear before I perform or I go out in front of people hoping that it'll be funny and wondering what I'm going to do. That's just common. We all have things that we worry about. Yeah. It's interesting because Halloween lets us have fun with what scares us, but what about those fears that don't involve zombies, ghosts, and mostly candy? Yeah.

See, that's what Halloween does. It's genius. You're scared, but you're going to get some candy. And let's face it, you're not really scared. Those kids don't look like ghosts. It's just a plastic sheet. Anyway, we're talking about fears. And for a reason, therapy is a great tool for facing your fears and finding ways to overcome them. Because sometimes the scariest thing is not facing our fears in the first place and holding ourselves back. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule.

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What else? What other things do you do? Oh, gosh. I build miniatures, tiny dioramas. And currently I am working on a 70s themed living room that I have nicknamed the Coke Room.

You build tiny dioramas. Yeah. And you're building one that's a tribute to the 70s called the Coke Room. And then do you ever put your little taxidermy animals in there? Like there's a little hamster who's Scarface and there's just a bunch of cocaine on a table. And then maybe a little cat skull comes in wearing a white suit. I mean, I know you're joking, but that's the plan. Yeah.

Can we see it? Do you have any mate that you can lift up? Can you show us the day, Rem? Sure. You're making a miniature cocaine den, and you're going to put your taxidermied hamsters in there. So... Oh. Oh, my God. Look at that. What? I have to take the dust cover off. Yeah, you're going to have to hold it up a little more. So there is a hamster. Is that a hamster?

It is a hamster, yes. And that doesn't... Oh, my God. There's electricity. Oh, my God. And is the hamster... What's the hamster doing? He's just sitting and reading a book. Oh, well, that was 70s Coke Room.

No, that's not the 70s Coke Room. The 70s Coke Room isn't done yet. Oh, I see. I'm sorry. I thought that was the 70s Coke Room. And I thought, man, you have never done cocaine. Do you think it just involves sitting down and reading? No. Oh, there. Oh, there it is. Okay. You're very talented. The bones are done. You can't see it properly, but I designed the wallpaper for it. And I built...

Good thing I don't put anything away and it's just all on my desk here. It's a tiny, teeny tiny bookshelf. Oh, cute. You are very creative. There's a little chair. Tiny chair that I still have to put the upholstering on. And is the textiles the way that you make money? Is that the only way that you make money is through the textiles? At the moment, yes.

I mean, if you want to give me money, I accept it gladly. Sure. I mean, I'm always willing to mail anybody money who wants money. Sure. Really? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, anyone, anyone here at the, I've always, it's a policy I have here at work that if anybody needs any money, I will just take care of you. Yeah.

And I think she's fixing her light first. I'm sorry. The cat's got in the way. Oh, I thought the lights went out. Oh, wait, that's a live cat. Run, cat, run. Yeah. Get out of there. Hey, cat, get out of there. No. Oh, what a good cat. I know what lays ahead for that guy.

So, Mara, it sounds like this is a very good time in your life because you've found things that you really love. You've got your textile work. You love the color pink. You

You seem to wear that almost exclusively. I do. You love taxidermying animals that have died in a peaceful way or violently, but not at your hands. You have a cat who it's just a matter of time. I have two. You have two cats. And do the cats ever check out the taxidermy and look at each other and go, we need to split. We need to get out of here. Well, no.

No, because the big black one that you just saw is blind. She literally can't see it coming. Oh, fuck. So you made sure to get a blind cat. So the blind cat has no clue. Yeah. And the boy cat is just, he's challenged. Yeah. He's not particularly smart.

No, if he's living with you, he's not. No. He's also selected that way. If he's living in Death Alley, then no. And I'm glad you got out of that bad relationship. Are you in a good relationship now? Yeah, me too. Yeah, I'm married. Oh, you are? Okay. I am married. This week is my two-year wedding anniversary. Happy anniversary. Thank you.

My wife lives in Sacramento, so you are more likely to run into them than I am. Wait, your wife lives in Sacramento? Yeah, I do. Okay. What do they do there? Living there. They are American. Oh, gotcha. I see. But you still get to spend time together? We spend time together once a year. We try to, yeah.

Okay. You have a little advice for me, Mara? Yes, of course. You should definitely come visit Vienna because it's a beautiful city and it's absolutely fantastic. The thing is, you have to be very careful when you're on the escalator because...

The right side of the escalator, going down or up, is reserved for people standing. And the left side of the escalator is exclusively for people walking. And if you don't walk on the left side of the escalator, but you stand still, it is very likely that an old grandma will come by and beat you up. So...

All right, well, this is good to know. So on the right side, you can stand still of the escalator. On the left...

You need to move up the stairs. You need to move. How fast do you need to move up the stairs to get out of the way of this insane grandmother? I mean, a little bit faster than the grandma. And grandmas are not that fast. Is it just one grandma that we're worried about? Yeah. A bunch of them. And if it is just one, can't we taxi-dermy her? I want to find this grandmother. Yeah.

If they have a walking stick, you have to really, really look out because they will use the walking stick. Is it acceptable in Vienna for somebody to strike someone else with a walking stick? It happened to me at least twice. Oh, my God. Because you weren't moving fast enough or you weren't moving at all. I wasn't moving on the left side of the escalator. Are you sure you didn't just kill their hamsters and they're out to get you? What if Conan wants to fight a grandma? Yeah.

Can I say something? I have fought many a grandmother in my day. And I mean all around the world. I can't say my record is good. But I want to challenge grandmothers everywhere in all parts of the globe. Bring it. Yeah. Bring it, granny. Let's bring your stick. Bring your crutch. Bring your bring your hard cake that you let go stale.

You can throw your teeth at me. I will take you down. Do you think I'd have a good time in Vienna?

Oh, absolutely. I mean, escalators aside, I'd have a good time. Would I fit in? You think people would accept me in Vienna? You would stick out because you're so tall. But other than that, I think you would do fine in Austria. Yeah. We also hate every other people. So you fit right in, I think. Well, wait, that would include me, wouldn't it?

They would hate me then. Yeah, but then it's mutual. Okay. So, all right. Okay. I think I get it. Yeah. So the slogan in Austria is we hate you as much as you hate us. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty much. Yeah. Yeah. And watch out. Here comes granny. For sure. Well, Mara, it was really nice talking to you and I'm glad that you have found the

the life that's making you happy. You know, I'm glad. You seem like a very nice person and a good soul. So I applaud you. Yeah, it's the facade I put on that people don't realize how fucking awful and hamster murderous I am.

Well, we have you on tape confessing. So we're sending the hamster detectives right now. They have little pipes. You'll see. Nice talking to you, Mara. Take care. Nice talking to you, too. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Take it away, Jimmy.

Supervising producer, Aaron Blair. Associate talent producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are down the road.

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