Conan and the Chill Amigas
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Yes.

We are twins. Oh, you're twins. You're twins. Wow. Very cool. Nice to meet you. You couldn't tell they're identical. They look exactly. They don't look exactly. They don't look completely identical. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, sometimes a twin, I think of twins usually wear their hair exactly the same.

So there's no confusion. There's twins. And that threw me off. We also dress the same. They dress the same. Yes. Yes. I'm glad you don't do that. You each have your own style. It's just the twins from the Kubrick movie. It's true.

There's just no way of knowing if you're twins, if you're not dressed like that. Right. Right. So do you ever have a, there's an elevator ever open and just blood comes out? Has it ever happened? No. No. It's more happened to us, thank God. Okay. So, uh,

Alba, Berta, you're twins and you live in, you're in Spain. Which part of Spain are you in? In Catalonia, in Catalonia. Yeah, near Barcelona. Barcelona. Do you say Barcelona or do you say Bar-tha-lona? We say Barcelona. Good. Because I always think when people go, no, Bar-tha-lona, that they're just having fun with me. I don't think anyone actually says it that way. Yeah, I think, I think, yeah, yeah. Okay.

Okay. And tell me about yourselves. What do you do? What do you like to do? What can I do for you? How can I make your lives better? Yeah, so we live together. We just recently moved our parents' house. And I'm a pharmacist and I'm an architect. And we would like you to...

maybe embark in a journey of how to be more chill because I think that's the most important spontaneous thing that we did it's like say okay we can record today 11 o'clock with 9 hours of scheduling we are never like that spontaneous so maybe we can work together to be more chill because I think we are not

chill at all and it's in our bucket list, summer list. Your bucket list is to be more chill and you've decided to reach out to Conan O'Brien for lessons on how to...

We thought maybe we could do it together, you know, like solidarity. Yes. Oh, I see. So you think maybe I'm not chill. Is that it? And that maybe the three of us together could learn how to be chill? It's called, you know, Conan and the Chill Champs. Oh, that. Yeah, well, that's just...

I think that's kind of a joke because I'm not... You guys, these guys are more chill than I am. Well, not Matt so much. We're the chill chums. No, I know, but Sona, you're very, very chill. I'm chill. Yeah. Yeah. A little too much so. And then Matt would be a little... I'm like type B+. Yeah. And then... That's not a chill answer. That's why I'm B+.

But I have to say Spanish not chill is American chill. You guys seem pretty chill. Yeah. Maybe you're just comparing yourselves to other people in Spain who are all very chill. Is that possible? That's true. I think we are chill, but we are not a spontaneous person. We were talking about maybe people say like, hey, I'm free now. Let's get some beer.

And we are like, no, no, no, no. You have to book us in advance, like one birthday, two birthdays. Wait a minute. That's not very true. Yeah, that is. Guys, guys. I can do that. Ladies, ladies, you need that is way too much. You can't be saying no, no. You have to book an appointment in advance. It's just not it's not your work. Yes, I understand that if you're an architect. I understand it if you're a pharmacist.

And by the way, Alba, can you write prescriptions? Oh, no. No, it doesn't work like that. We don't write prescriptions. We just give it to them, but we need, you know, doctor's prescriptions. But he can do it under the counter. No, we can't do that. Yeah, I think... We're friends and family. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you, Berta, for clearing things up.

Yes, I would just say if there was a way that I could get... It's not crazy stuff. It's just if you really want me to be chill, I'm going to need a little help. That's all. Exactly. Yeah. Okay. So, yeah, just basically Klonopin and some... A lot of Klonopin. And then Benzadrine. I don't see how. You don't see it? Oh, right, because we're talking publicly. Yes.

Yes, of course. Not appropriate. And it won't happen. But no, you both need your young, very attractive people. You should be enjoying your lives.

And it's very important that you learn to relax and be more spontaneous. You're living in this beautiful country. It's vibrant. There's so much that you should be doing. You need to learn to just go. Why don't you test it out with them? Ask them for a beer right now. Alba, Berta, I just came to town. Would you like to have a beer?

I have to check with my, you know, Google Calendar and see. My who? Google Calendar. We have to... This is pretend. You can pretend to say yes. Yeah, this was...

Excuse me, Alba, this is an improv game. You don't need to use your thousands of miles away from you right now. I just played. Yes, yes, yes. We are hoping in our airplane right now and we're coming to you and having a beer. Yes, great. Yes.

That's the answer, right? Okay, but guys, ladies, imagine I'm right there right now. And I don't want this to be a creepy scenario, but you know me, you know? So I'm right outside your apartment and I call up, you know, Berta, Alba, you know, it's me, Conan. Let's go to the zoo. You want to go to the zoo? What do you say? Yes, of course. We can look from the outside because it's closed, but yeah, we can make time. LAUGHTER

Ladies. Why did you pick the zoo, by the way? I would have said no to that. Why the zoo? Verda, Alba, guess what? I know it's closed, but you know what we're going to do that's really cool? We're going to jump the fence and go in and look at all the animals. And we're going to bring some wine with us in a paper bag. And we're going to drink and look at the giraffes while they sleep. What?

And then we're going to high five each other. Do you want to do that? What do you think? Okay. Okay. Let's high five. Yes. I know that the game is yes and, but that sounds like, you know, the police is going to appear. The police? I'm trying to do simple improv with you and you've invoked your Google calendar and the police. You know, it may take a chill person to make it work. Sonny, you do it. Hey guys, what's up?

No, this is not New York either. Why don't we get together? Let's go get a drink at the bar down the street. And we'll just hang like a bunch of chill pals. Yeah, that's the thing. We...

We literally live down under a bar. And we're never there. Above a bar. Above a bar. Wait a minute. Yeah, don't live under a bar. That's a bad idea. That's where they bury the bodies. No, you live above a bar and you're young women and you've never been to the bar?

No, we've been, but you know, not regularly. No, yeah, yeah. We should be more up. Yeah, down there. Go now. You just go there to do brief inspections. Let me try this. The architect is like, I want to make sure that this beam is load-bearing. The pharmacist is like, you know, there's a prescription for that. Let me try this. Hey, Alba, Berta, you guys want to get together and talk about movies?

Okay, yes. That sounds fun. Yeah. What is that? What's spontaneous about? Like, you're going to go to their house? I don't know. We can wherever they want. You guys like that? You liked the professor over here saying, let's meet somewhere where there's no alcohol and discuss movies? Yeah.

Yeah, but that can be alcohol. I don't know. Yes, it can be a beer and discuss movies or that can be a coffee. I don't know. We can have cocktails and talk about movies. Actually, I'm cheating because I saw in your notes that you guys like to talk about movies. What kind of movies do you like? A little bit of everything, I suppose. Yeah, that's nice. Yeah, comedies and action, whatever it's on. Yeah, yeah.

We like to go regularly. Yeah, to the cinema. Yeah, to... Even that now you can get it on, you know, on the platforms, but we like to go twice a month. And maybe that's the most, like, spontaneous thing we do. Like, oh, there's a movie showing in an hour and we leave near...

Cinema, movie theater. So that's maybe the most spontaneous thing we do. Okay, ladies, here's my idea. That's the way to start then. Meaning it starts with, hey, let's go see this movie, right? Then after the movie, we hit a club. Maybe we go to a bar, right? You hit a bar. You do something a little crazy. Then very late at night,

When it's closed, the zoo. No, no. I am not letting the zoo go. Why don't you just go see a screening of We Bought a Zoo? If you're going to reference a movie, make sure it's that one. Also, what do you mean wine in a bag? You were like, I have some wine in a bag and we can go to the zoo. I'm trying to think of something that's very bohemian and out there and free spirit. Oh, okay. And I picture, you know,

I've got this bottle of wine in a bag. We've jumped a fence. We're like split, passing the bottle back and forth. The moon is full. It seems like, you know, a gang. I don't know. A hobo vibe. It's a bad vibe? Why? No, a hobo vibe. Oh, a hobo vibe. That's what I was thinking too. A very hobo-esque. Well, then I thought we'd jump on a train.

We'd maybe eat some beans out of a can. I could play the harmonica and we could go around 1920s America. ♪

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I want you to learn from my mistakes. Can I ask you how old you are? How old are you? 28. Okay. And how old's the other one? They're identical twins born 10 years apart. Yes. Okay, so let's say you're 28. I'm sorry, it just came out naturally. Yeah, next thing. El gato tiene una biblioteca. But anyway... Cat at the library? What?

Just try and keep up. Let's just say when I was your age, my problem is that I wasn't spontaneous enough. I was spontaneous when I was doing comedy, but then I would go home and worry about things and just practice my guitar chords and read. I wasn't out there enough and I regret it now. Now I'm an old, old man.

My left arm fell off this morning and had to be put back on with tape. You ladies are young and I want you to be experiencing life. And to me, life is wine in a bag at a closed zoo. That's a plan that you regret not doing right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. That's why we were, we wanted to ask about maybe like taking life too seriously when you are, uh,

not reaching 30, but you are there and thinking, maybe I'm not doing enough professionally in my life. And then you think, wait, I'm missing things. Yeah, well, let me just remind you, Berta, you're an architect. Alba, you're a pharmacist. These are impressive jobs that you have.

You know, you have educations, you have careers. So you're clearly very smart, very accomplished people. So I think you should be having more fun. Don't you think that's fair? Yes. And I think we have fun, but it's like super planned fun. I have to have a plan. Let's see, like...

Let's do a crawl bar. I'm going to do a list of all the bars we are hitting and when we are hitting them. Wow. Yes. Wow. Okay. It's not a pub crawl. It's a pub. It's like a much...

where you hit certain points at certain places. It's a military operation, a pub relay. Exactly like that. Okay, I'm going to tell you two something. I don't often discuss my wife on the podcast. I love my wife very much. She's very cool, but she has the same issue. She likes everything planned. And I mean, everything planned.

And she's always saying, "I'm fine with spontaneity as long as I know exactly what it is we're doing and it's been planned out beforehand." And so I've been up against this problem before, but I think I could teach you two to be more spontaneous.

Because I am an erratic person. And I'm especially when I'm in other countries, I'm a little unhinged and crazy. And I think it's special. Yeah. And so there's a good chance the police will get involved. But I think a night in jail would be good for both of you.

It's a good story. By way of the zoo. Yeah. Yeah. You two in an orangutan in jail. Yeah. The chimp is like, what did I do? I was sleeping. It's my home. There's a penguin there as an attorney. Oh, God. I don't like Conan's jokes. They're too crazy. Yeah, yeah. From fun to jail, I don't know. We should start a little small, but we keep that in mind. Okay. I won't get you arrested.

right away. But are your parents going to be OK with if I take you two out in Madrid and there's some spontaneity, will your parents be OK with it?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know that they don't know who you are, though. That's OK. That's maybe better. That's better. Yeah. We're telling them about, you know, this. And yeah, no, no, no clue. Even that, you know, we watch your YouTube and your podcast and so on. But no clue. No clue. OK, well, just don't keep telling me that your parents have never heard of me because it's it's destroying my ego.

I think everyone tells you that, you know. Yeah, they do. We're not the first ones. Thanks a lot, Alba. I am going to... So I've been to Barcelona before. I'm sorry. Oh, come on. You say it. No, I've been to Barcelona before and I would very much... I'd like to go back. It's a very... I think it's a great city. It's a very spontaneous city.

You know, are we going to get paella? Maybe, maybe not. Are we going to visit the site of the old Olympics? Maybe, maybe not. Are we going to go to the water or slightly far away from the water? Calm down, Conan. I'm just saying, two Barcelona references. That's the kind of madman I am. Google Pumptine or Google Maps.

- Spreadsheets when you're- - No, there's gonna be none of that. If we hang out, if we hang out ladies, there's gonna be none of that. You're gonna be hanging out with a crazy hobo from America who's just gonna act on sheer impulse and you two are just gonna go with it. And yes, there's going to be some problems and the police might get involved, but it'll be a night you never remember.

I think I'm okay with that, the police getting involved here, at least.

I speak their language. I don't know if I would like to maybe get it thrown out. I don't know if I'm okay with that. In Italy. In Barcelona, I can do it. I can do it. Stop, okay? In jail, I draw the line, you know? In jail, she draws the line at jail. You are really, I mean, you're not going along with this. Yeah, I'm noticing, sorry. You just really don't want to go to jail, do you? I don't know what your problem is. Can I say the food's better than you'd think?

Much better, trust me. Some of the best meals I've had have been in jail. I did two years. In Spain, you eat real good, so I don't know. The food will be great. So let me ask you, but you two are aware of my work, yes? Yeah, yeah. And so you listen to the podcast, you've watched some of the things online?

Yeah, yeah. We started watching all the interviews in your TV program, you know, on YouTube. And we have watched it with many of our friends. And we... Yeah, and then we started with the podcast when you...

when you leave with the talk show. And we have watched all the Spaniards. That's nice. Do you think I would fit in in your section of Spain? Do you think I'd fit in? Or would I stand out? I think you would stand out because you're tall, you're pale. They are ginger people here, but there are not as many as other countries. Like physically, you would stand out, but maybe...

With your personality, you make fast friends. We like here, we are, like you say, chill people. We like to laugh about everything, about ourselves. Oh, good. I like that. You would...

Yeah. What about my... Are there places nearby where I could get a spray tan? Yeah, maybe. Yeah, I think it would be a must, you know, with the painless. A must. A must. Okay, you're saying as a pharmacist, you're saying as a pharmacist, I must get a spray tan. Like, you might have to get one at the airport to be level with the country. It would...

If you don't want to stand out, you can stand out, that's fine. Would people buy it if I had a spray tan? Or would it look wrong? Yeah, I don't know. Too much orangey. It would clash, maybe. You can always tell, so maybe not. Maybe it's worse, I don't know.

I think it would come back like the Lorax. The Lorax? No, no, no. Okay. So with a spray tan, I would look like the Lorax. No, I think you should rock it.

Yeah, as it is. You should rock it. Embrace it, embrace it. And with your personality, people would warm up to you. Yeah. I don't think you have to change. Then I'd sit on someone's couch and leave a crazy stain. Exactly. Well, I've learned a lot. And Alba and Berta, I do hope we cross paths someday.

I'm serious when I tell you, you are intelligent, lovely young women and you should try and enjoy life more. So just work on that a little bit. It doesn't have to be crazy spontaneity, but think about, you know, when does the zoo close and how high is the gate? Let the zoo go. I'm not going to let the zoo go. Above a barn. Have you seen a giraffe sleep? No.

It's crazy. And when you've had a bottle of wine, it's even crazier. Out of a bag. Alba, Berta, thank you so much for talking to us. You're really nice young people. Very nice to meet you. And you're very funny. Thank you for inviting us. Yeah, thank you for having us. It's really nice to meet you all. Yeah, and thank you for, yeah, to jumpstart the East Point 2018. Now get some sleep.

No, go out. No, go to the bar. Go to a bar downstairs. No, no, no. Don't go downstairs. You haven't planned it out. Go downstairs. You don't know what could be on the stairs. Stairs are dangerous. Stairs need to be studied. Persona? Where do we need? I don't know. If it's open.

Yeah, I don't know if it would be open right now. There's only one way to find out. You have to get down there. And break down that door. And if you hear an alarm, that's probably nothing. Yeah, okay. Maybe if the doors are closed and there's no light, just to check, you know? Yeah, and then check the cash register. If there's money, that means it's there for you.

That means it's a gift. It's an old Spanish custom. Well, you guys are well on your way to breaking into a zoo. All right. Bye-bye. Thank you so much. Okay. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

Supervising producer, Aaron Blair. Associate talent producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Byrne. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

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