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Hello and welcome to the Claim Your Power podcast, the ultimate show for all things self-love, spirituality, and personal growth. I'm your host, Kim Peretz. I'm a three-time author, content creator, avid traveler, entrepreneur, and matcha enthusiast. You are at the right place if you're ready to rediscover the love within, align with your purpose, and unleash your highest potential. It's time to claim your power.
Hi guys and welcome back to the Claim Your Power podcast. So as I'm filming this, it is currently the new moon in Leo and you guys will listen to this after the new moon has passed but I'm really curious, maybe you guys can message me later and tell me like how is the new moon in Leo for you because for me usually new moons are kind of, they can be kind of chaotic energy and
Typically for me full moons are like the best times. I feel like i'm at a peak but it's also I think for me that way because my cycle is Aligned with the new moon and the full moon. So I actually get my period every month on the new moon and
I ovulate on the full moon and so hormonally it makes sense that the new moon is like more emotional for me and more chaotic and then the full moon is like a peak in my energy levels and just a peak in my life yeah if you guys want to learn kind of how to like cycle your cycle with cycle your cycle what am I saying sync your cycle with the moon I actually have
A whole episode on it that I filmed with my friend Rebecca Lee where we talked about cycle syncing and how to sync with all the different phases of your cycle, getting off birth control, all of that. So that is a totally different episode that you guys can listen to if you want to learn about the lunar cycle and your body and your hormones. Today's episode topic, we're going to talk about triggers.
because I'm going to be completely honest, in the past couple of days, I've been getting hella triggered. Triggered left and right by people around me, by certain experiences, by things I can't control.
And I feel like though, because I've been getting triggered a lot, I've noticed the way that I've been reacting to my triggers. And I have to say that me two years ago would have totally handled it differently. And so I'm really proud of myself for how far I've come in the way that I react to people and react to unexpected situations in my life and just like emotional triggers that I get. Because especially before my period, you ladies know, like we get triggered very easily because...
Our estrogen levels are the lowest. We're the most emotional. We're the most intuitive. It's natural.
And with the Newman and Leo, you know, Leo is just like this extravagant sign. It's all very chaotic energy. And so today I want to talk about five must-know tips for when you get triggered. So these are tips that are going to help you next time you get triggered to work through the trigger and to use it as this pain that will turn into power. And so you can really apply this to toxic friends in your life that maybe you haven't been able to let go of or family members and family gatherings.
gatherings or just co-workers or just situations like nothing has to do with people, like you're stuck in traffic, you see some like a song that triggers like an emotional memory within you, like whatever it is, this episode is really going to help you set the stage for how to handle your triggers and how to use them as a way to induce more healing in your life because I
One of my favorite quotes actually is, be grateful for triggers because they point to where you are not free. Your triggers are the parts of yourself that are showing up consciously in your life because there's more healing that needs to be done. Instead of...
of abandoning your triggers or being scared of your triggers or just avoiding them, see them as opportunities for growth and opportunities for healing. Every single person that triggers you in life is actually mirroring something to you about yourself. So instead of being even more frustrated, more triggered that they triggered something inside of you, see how you can be grateful for that. And I'll get more into that as we go through the tips. So I actually woke up this morning and I was feeling extremely in a funk.
because I had gotten triggered the night before. So I went through my normal morning routine. I journaled, I meditated, I drank my tea, my matcha, you guys know, and I was feeling a lot better. It was like I had cleansed my energy. I did my own meditation, which you guys, by the way, can download. I will...
link it in my episode notes. It's my angel energy meditation. It's three minutes and it will change your life. I do it every single day. And it is so interesting. Once I take a step back and I grounded my center, my energy, and I cleanse myself, I
It is so interesting how my perspective changes and my mood changes So after that I was getting myself back into alignment back into a good mood And I realized that this is what I want to talk about today. I want to talk about triggers So I ended up writing doing like a little journal prompt about triggers And coming up with all the tips that I want to share with you guys that will help you work through your triggers
So the first tip that I wrote is observe, don't absorb. When you're going through a trigger, when you try, when you're finding yourself going through an emotional trigger, when someone triggers you or says something rude to you that, you know, inflicts an emotional response in you, try to catch yourself mid that trigger and just breathe. Like take a deep inhale and an exhale. And I think this idea really takes practice because I feel like the first few times I tried this out while I was getting really angry or frustrated, I was like, what the
fuck, I do not want to inhale right now. I'm like, I want to just blow up this room, you know? But when you're working on it and when you get through it and you start implementing this practice, you'll start finding yourself like kind of disassociating from the trigger when it starts to come up.
and you'll be able to handle it and react to it better. There's actually a Harvard study that proved that 90 seconds is actually all it takes to identify an emotion and allow it to dissipate while you simply notice it. So if you really take that time when the trigger comes up to just breathe and notice the emotion and observe it, instead of absorbing it right away and letting it fuel into a reaction and like going down this rabbit hole, you will be able to control the trigger a lot better and to react from a higher perspective.
So something that I really, really like to ask myself when I go through that, because sometimes breathing and inhaling is like, that's not what I want to do in the moment when I'm triggered, is I ask myself, is this thing, is this person, is this situation, is it worth my reaction? Or is my peace more important? I
I ask myself that in my head and that changes everything for me because I can tell you that 95% of the time, that thing that you're getting triggered and angry about, that person, that experience that you had, you're going to want to have peace over getting angry. Because usually for me, if you're a very intuitive, empathetic person, your emotions or
can really really affect you the body keeps the score your emotional body and your physical body are interconnected and so i'm not saying like never get angry never be sad never be frustrated but it's the way that you react to those emotions and you handle those emotions can really affect your life i remember that there was a phase in my life i want to say like four years ago when i was really really really depressed
And I was always angry. I was angry with the universe. I was angry with the world. I was angry with everyone around me. I was a victim. I didn't take any responsibility for my life. And so I was constantly in these lower emotions and I didn't know how to handle my emotions. This is like, mind you, this is before I started to get into spirituality, before I even started therapy, before I got into the law of attraction and just like my connection with a source in the universe. This is way before that.
And so this is a phase in my life where I just thought, okay, I'm sad because I'm sad and I was in survival mode and fight or flight. And I just kind of resisted everything in my life. And that was the phase in my life when I was depressed and I was sad where I was the most physically sick too. I mean, I had cystic acne. I had an eating disorder. I was in and out of the emergency room with an ovarian cyst. Like the list goes on. I was sick every other month with like a sore throat and a fever.
And it is because I was absorbing all of my negative emotions and they started to manifest as physical form. And so I want to preface this by saying like, I'm not saying this so that you never feel angry and you never feel sad. If anything, the opposite, you should feel your emotions fully because what I was doing back then is I was avoiding them. I was kind of swallowing them inside of me and
so they built up, they stayed within my aura and my energy over time and that ended up manifesting into physical form, which is why it is so important. Like when you're getting an emotional trigger, it's so important to observe it instead of absorbing it. Something that you have to realize is that you are not your emotions, you are simply the one experiencing them. So if you can get yourself to this practice of like, okay, this emotion is coming up,
i feel angry and instead of saying i am angry you start saying i feel angry because that is your feeling in that current moment but you are not anger you are not frustration you are not sadness you are light and you are a source and you are love but in that exact moment you're feeling those emotions and it's totally valid and to validate yourself through those times and instead of absorbing them allowing yourself to just observing them and asking yourself okay
Is this trigger worth my reaction? Is this trigger, is this moment, is this person, is it worth over my peace? And if your answer is yes, feel it, you know, go crazy, go ballistic. But I can tell you that 95% of the time, if you ask yourself that conscious question, you will realize like this situation, this person, it's just not worth it. Like your peace is more important. Even the other day, I was in a situation where a person in my life was getting over
really, really angry and they were getting aggressive and they were very expressive and I could tell that in that moment they were very much being emotionally triggered and I could see it. And there was another person in the situation and they were getting angry too and I just kind of felt like in the middle of the situation and I won't go too much into details because it is my personal life after all.
to say that I could see them both getting triggered and I could have totally joined the trigger circle. Like it was so, it was very open for me to join it. And instead I found myself totally being unattached to the situation. And it's not to say that I didn't feel angry or frustrated, but I didn't join in on like the trigger circle of the yelling and the aggression. I was just kind of like noticing it. And I was very much responding from a place of peace and
And I have to say that I came back from that day and I could go on with my life. I could go on with that experience and I slept good that night because I didn't let that trigger and that situation totally get to me and reap on my behalf. And so obviously you will have times where
where you're going to get triggered. But it's so important to ask yourself, like, is the situation worth it? If you think it's worth it to totally go out of control, then express yourself because sometimes you do need to get that out and like totally release that karma. But a lot of the time, it's just your ego that wants to be seen, that wants to be heard. It's your inner child. So
So ask yourself, is it worth your peace? Is it worth confiscating your solitude and your sense of inner peace in that moment? And when I asked myself that the other day, I realized like, no, this is not worth it. I had a good day and I'm going to finish off the good day. And so I observed, I did not absorb. Second tip is know your emotional triggers, like figure out what they are by doing the shadow work, by journaling, by meditating, by doing the inner work and understanding, okay, when
When I'm in these situations, but people say these types of comments to me, when I think back on these past memories, I get triggered. Figure out what those things are. And sometimes something that I like to do is I ask the universe. I literally have a conversation with God and I'm like, please show me what needs to be healed right now. Show me these triggers so that I can work through them and I can heal them. And obviously when you ask, the universe delivers. And so do this with caution. If you're ready to do the inner work, do it.
If you're not, don't ask that question because the universe will show up for you. It's like when you tell God, remove anyone from my life who isn't in my highest good and suddenly you're losing half your friends and your boyfriend. Like that happened to me in the past in my life and I'm so grateful I had that dialogue with the universe and I asked for that because that ended up up leveling my life. But if you're not ready for that, if you're not ready for drastic change, you need to work on your own emotions first before you ask that big leap in your life.
And so something that I really love to do to work through emotional triggers is EFT tapping, which is my second tip. I started EFT tapping when I was working with my therapist a couple years ago and I fell in love with the practice. It completely shifted my life and I ended up getting my own certification EFT tapping. And it is one of the most powerful techniques, not just for healing and shadow work, but also for manifesting literally everything and just completely shifting your whole life. EFT stands for emotional freedom technique.
And it's a psychological technique where you're using acupressure combined with mantras and affirmations that reprogram your subconscious mind and help you heal the past and heal towards the future and set intentions and all of those good juicy things. And so if you guys are interested in EFT tapping, by the way, please message me because I've been thinking I want to do some EFT tapping workshops.
that are collectively about self-love and confidence and healing your heart and all those things that I talk about a lot on the podcast. So if that's something that interesting to you, please reach out because if there is a need for it, I will show up and I will do that for you guys. Some fun live workshops.
But regardless of that, there's a ton of EFT tapping videos on YouTube. Any trigger that basically comes up, like triggers around money, anxiety, depression, triggers around eating, acne, like whatever it is that you get triggered about the past, your inner child, there's probably an EFT tapping video on it on YouTube. So doing EFT tapping will completely transition and transform your life. And so I definitely recommend that to work with your triggers. Tip number three is when you notice yourself getting triggered,
use those triggers as an opportunity to send love to your inner child.
Because 99% of the time when you're getting triggered, it is not your adult self. It is your little girl or the little boy inside of you that is hurting, that is wounded, that feels abandoned, rejected, unloved, confused, whatever it may be. It's that side of you. And the best way to see it is like, have you ever been around someone who's been really triggered and they just did not act like themselves? They acted like a baby or they acted really unreasonable or aggressive or whatever it may be.
It's because it's that person's inner child finally lashing out. And so when you get triggered, notice it and take that time to visibly and physically send your inner child love. Tell yourself, you know what? You're not alone anymore. Tell yourself like the inner child inside of you, whatever your name may be. Like I say, Kim.
Six-year-old, eight-year-old Kim, five-year-old Kim, you are not alone. I am here for you. And reparent your inner child because as an adult, it is your responsibility to reparent your inner child and to show up for that child. Tell that child that they are not alone, that their feelings are valid, their emotions are valid, and send that inner child love because when you send your inner child love, you heal it. When you heal your inner child, you heal your adult self.
Number four, realize that your triggers are your responsibility. So you may not be responsible for the wound or the pain that you've been caused in your life, but you are responsible for your healing. You really always have two choices in life, evolve or remain.
And if you play the victim card your whole life, you will always play small and you will always be in a cycle of suffering in your life because you will tell yourself like someone hurt you, caused you trauma, triggered you when you were a kid. And so you let that completely change and abrupt your life when you're 55 years old or when you're 28 years old, something that happened years ago.
And obviously healing is not linear and it's a process and it takes time. And sometimes certain events and traumas that souls go through can take years of healing.
But the number one step that you can give yourself is realize like your healing is your responsibility. It's nobody else's. And if you constantly tell yourself, okay, I was bullied when I was five and this is why I act this way when I'm 28. Like no one's gonna play, no one's gonna take you seriously. No one's gonna respect you because the truth is everyone has trauma. Everyone has gone through pain in life. Some more intense, crazier pain than others. And that was their sole experience in this life.
but everyone has gone through some type of trauma and some type of triggers in their life you are not special and honestly telling everyone your trauma and your sob story doesn't make people respect you more it shows i know this hurts to hear and i wish i could tell this to my younger self because i used to always play the victim card in my life
But when you tell everyone your sob story, you're showing up as your weak self. Not everyone deserves to know your sob story. Not everyone deserves to know everything that your soul has been through. It is a privilege to know the deepness of your soul. So do not share those things with everyone because you will be perceived as weak whether you like it or not. And I know that's a hard thing to hear and maybe that's maybe not going to be accepted by everyone, but that's just the truth.
The best stories that you can tell others is your survival story. It's how you use your pain and turn it into power. It's realizing that the things that you went through, the painful things that you went through, if you heal through them and you take responsibility for your healing, those things will one day turn into a survival guide for somebody else. And take me as an example.
This podcast would not have been possible if I didn't go through A, B, and C in my life and I didn't come out of them stronger. I wouldn't have shared my own life and my own wisdom on here because I would have stayed a victim in my life and I didn't want to be a victim anymore. I wanted to live a good, amazing, rich life and that is what I was destined for and that is what you are destined for if you take responsibility for your healing. You are not responsible for the circumstances of your life, but you're responsible for the response.
and it is not the world's obligation to tiptoe around you and tiptoe around your triggers.
And the truth is most people won't even do it. If you have people in your life who are doing it for you, realize that they deeply really care about you and really love you. But most of the world doesn't care and doesn't know about what you've been through, about your past, about your triggers. And so it is your job to become emotionally strong and emotionally resilient and intelligent so that even if somebody else walks all over you, says something triggering to you or rude or hurtful that induces a past,
or a past memory, you know how to handle it. You're better equipped because you're stronger and you're wiser. And that is why I always tell you guys, you are responsible for your own healing. It is in nobody else's hands. And the second that you give it away to somebody else, you give it your power too. You're giving your power away to that person, to that experience. You have to claim your power back right now. Like pause this podcast and tell yourself,
I'm claiming back my power from every person, every situation from my past who has hurt me and I'm moving forward with open arms, with love in my heart, with light, with openness and that is how you keep living your life because you are not your past, you are your future and your triggers, they can either be the death of you or they can be a new beginning to an opportunity for growth
and an openness to evolve and completely transform your life. And tip number five is avoiding your triggers altogether isn't actually healing. And this is something I'm guilty of because I actually had a phase in my life where I was so protecting of my peace that I completely isolated myself of basically every person and every situation that could have hurt me so that I wouldn't have to deal with my triggers.
But that wasn't actually healing, that was avoidant. And that came back to eat me in the ass because then I would find myself in the same patterns, in the same situations, just in different font where people would mirror to me the unhealed parts of myself. And so realize that if you were getting triggered by a family member, by a friend, by a co-worker, just a situation in your life,
it is a blessing. And if you run away from it, it's not going to disappear. It's just going to come back in a different form into your life until you work through it. And so avoidance isn't going to get you anywhere. It's just going to delay your healing. The world outside is a reflection of the world inside of you. So when you heal from within, the world heals from without. And you doing the inner work on yourself and looking at your triggers right in the eye, that makes you really, really strong. Even if it's hard, it makes you powerful.
Healing truly happens when you do get triggered and you're able to move through the pain and the pattern and the narrative and the story in your head and you're able to walk towards a different ending. That's how you know you're healing. You getting triggered isn't actually a sign of weakness. It's not a sign that you're going backwards. It's a sign you're going forward because things resurface and come up in your life so that you can heal them, work through them, and so they do not control you anymore and that you can live from a different energy in your life.
So I know this episode was a lot and it could have had a lot of heavy information, but I really think I needed to create this episode because we can't always just talk about, you know, the jolly and manifestation and da-da-da. Like, obviously those are important things to talk about, but sometimes we do need to talk about the shadow work because...
that's really how we move forward in life is when we take the old and use it as fuel to creating something better in our life. So I want to end this episode by leaving you with this guiding quote I found on Pinterest. You guys know I just...
I love Pinterest so much. I learned so much on there. It's amazing. So triggers are guides. Every time you get triggered, a trauma is being uncovered. If in that moment you project it outside with your ego instead of going inwards, that trigger will show up again in the form of another person or situation. The universe keeps bringing us face to face with similar situations because we are repeating the old going in a loop instead of breaking the cycle.
Try to understand why that trigger keeps showing up and what are you repeating to attract it again and again. Take the higher road, a different perspective, tell a different story, and have a different response. Your triggers and emotional reactions are just simple reminders of what still needs to be healed. Beautiful souls, thank you so much for joining me in today's episode. As always, I will talk to you next week. Bye!
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