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Hello, my beautiful friends, and welcome back to the Claim Your Power podcast, the ultimate show for all things spirituality, self-love, and personal development. I'm your host, Kim Perez. I'm a two-time author, content creator, yoga teacher, and entrepreneur. You are at the right place if you're ready to tap into your gifts, unleash your potential, and become your higher self. It's time to claim your power.
Hello, beautiful people, and welcome back to the podcast. If you're new here, my name is Kim, and I am your host, and I'm super excited that you joined me in today's episode. And before we get started, today's episode is all about self-worth and self-value. And if this is a topic that
is near and dear to your heart it's something that you want to learn more about it's something that you want to increase your self-worth your self-value grow as a person and you're a woman and it's been affecting you know your heart and your dating and your relationships and your friendships and all of that I just want to remind you that signups are still open for my heal your heart masterclass happening on May 13th this is a masterclass that I'm only going to be doing once live
via zoom so any of you guys all over the world can come to it that's the reason I'm doing it virtually it's gonna be amazing we're gonna be doing so many amazing exercises like journaling meditation EFT tapping group work to really open our hearts heal tap into our feminine energy into our self-worth and self-value so if this sounds like something that's intriguing to you it's something that you're feeling called to you want to be part of this unique experience and
Go sign up in my Stan store. I will leave the sign up link in my episode notes for this episode, but you can also sign up through my Stan site. So I hope to see you there because it's going to be so special, so amazing, and just a once in a lifetime event. You're going to walk into it and out of it completely a different person. So let's dive in today's episode. Today specifically, we're going to be talking about self-worth.
and the three things that I stopped doing in my own life in order to increase and heal my self-worth. First thing I stopped doing to heal my sense of self-worth is I stopped, I completely cut out self-deprecating comments. And these types of comments sounds like, oh, I'm so stupid. I look so fat today. I look too skinny today. I'm so ugly, dah, dah, dah. Any
comment that is literally on my expense that is something negative about me about my being i completely cut out because even as a joke sometimes i would say self-deprecating jokes and i thought oh it was so funny but it's not it's not funny and the type of energy that you're sending back to yourself when you're saying these self-deprecating jokes is such a sense of lack
and insecurity and you just want to completely cut that out of your life. Like if I am around my friend and I hear her say a self-deprecating joke, I will be like, stop, don't say that because your words have so much power. Your words have so much power. They
It's like your words create reality. Everything that you say, your thoughts and your words create a reality. So if you're constantly saying self-deprecating comments, you're constantly making fun of yourself, bringing yourself down on your expense, how the heck are you going to have a good sense of self-worth?
And you're expecting people to make you feel worthy or valuable, but you're the last person to do that for yourself. It all starts with you. You need to be your biggest fan. You need to be your biggest supporter in life. Even when you are feeling your most insecure, your most negative, you cannot allow yourself to say these self-deprecating comments because you're just bringing yourself down such a low vibration and such a low frequency.
Self-worth, being in a sense of self-worth is such a high vibration. It's confidence, it's self-love, it's self-acceptance, and all of that stems from you being such a good friend to yourself. And I want you to ask yourself, would you say these self-deprecating comments to your friends? Would you call your friends the things that you call yourself in front of a mirror? Or you tell yourself when you're feeling down or negative or insecure, would you say that to your best friend? And if the answer is no, don't say that to yourself.
You are your own best friend first thing in life. You are the best friend you'll ever have. You're the first friend you'll ever have and you're the last friend you'll ever have. And if you wouldn't speak that way to your bestest friend, to the person closest to you in life, you should never even consider speaking like that to yourself.
because you, it's the relationship with you is so powerful. Why would you bring yourself down to such a low level? And I'm saying this because it's such a wake up call even for me too. Like I used to be the queen of self-deprecating comments, of self-deprecating jokes. I used to like when I was still healing through a lot of trauma in my life and obviously like you never stop healing in life. It's all like
journey but when I was in a phase in life where I was like very wounded in this victim mindset all I would do is say these self-deprecating jokes all the time and I didn't realize how powerless and insecure and small it made me and so once I stopped doing that I
I saw, I visibly saw in my life, my self-worth increasing. I saw that, you know, when I'm feeling negative or I'm feeling insecure, okay, that's okay. I'm going to feel that feeling. I'm going to feel negative. I'm going to feel insecure, but I'm not going to bring myself down to such a low level where I'm going to literally rip myself apart.
and make myself feel so small to the point where there's no going back. So the first thing that you need to do to increase your self-worth is you need to be aware of the dialogue that you are having with yourself. How do you speak to yourself? What do you say to yourself in the mirror? You have no idea how important that is. That is the first step.
People will tell you, okay, meditate, journal, surround yourself with the right partners, da-da-da. But at the end of the day, you are your best friend. And the way that you speak to yourself says so much more about yourself than the way others speak to you. If you have a solid relationship with your self-worth and you know your value and you speak to yourself with love and kindness every day, even when somebody else doesn't, it doesn't even fascinate.
phase you anymore because you know that it's a lie because you know that the story that you are telling yourself is your truth. But if you're constantly telling yourself these self-deprecating comments, when somebody else says something rude to you or inconsiderate or mean or insensitive, you take it so to heart because a part of that, what they're saying to you is confirming a belief system that you already have within yourself.
When you change the belief system that you have with yourself and you change your sense of self-worth from within, then others will start responding to you differently. The second thing that I stopped doing in order to increase my self-worth was I ended the comparison cycle once and for all, okay? I have put it up to flames.
When I was a young teenager in high school, all I would do was compare myself to everyone around me. I would look at that girl. I would look at that girl and I would say, oh, she has this and she has this, but I don't have this. And I would constantly compare myself and it was just this jealous cycle of misery because I was so deeply insecure and disconnected from myself. So I was constantly looking at other women and validating what they have and what I don't have in my life.
You will never get out of the comparison cycle. Once you are a person who constantly get jealous, who constantly compares themselves to other people, you will never get out of it. It's a rabbit hole. And so the more that you compare yourself to other people, the more insecure and lack of self-worth that you will develop.
And that is why in order to increase your self-worth, you need to give up comparison altogether. You need to have this mindset and mentality that you are your own person and you are different than other people and that's okay. You don't want to be them and they wouldn't want to be you.
Because you are your own person, you have your own soul, you have your own uniqueness, you have your own talents and strengths, and that's what makes you you, and nobody can take that away from you. And when you spend your entire lives trying to compare yourself to other people, what other people have and you don't, and you're constantly focusing on the absence of things in life, you're just going to attract more situations into your life that confirm that you don't have those things.
that confirm that you are insecure, that you are not worthy, that you do lack a sense of self-worth because you're constantly looking for that reality in your life. You need to be so committed to yourself and so in love with yourself to the point where you're not looking left and right and comparing yourself to other people. When you see something good in another woman or in another man and you see something amazing in them, that is a reflection of all the potential that you have.
So let's say you see a beautiful woman and you're like, wow, she's so beautiful. She's so confident. She's so stunning. That's because you are all those traits. You're noticing all those things in her because you have those traits too. And the same goes for the vice versa. If you're constantly bringing other women down, you're constantly noticing their flaws, what they don't have, da-da-da. That's reflecting the way that you feel about yourself. 99% of the time, people are projecting their own shit onto you. And the second that you realize this, the second you will become...
so unfazed and so like untriggered by the way people speak or react to you or treat you because you will realize that they are just showing you the parts of themselves that need immediate healing. And so when you stop the comparison cycle, you also free yourself from so much insecurity and lack of self-value because you stay in your own lane.
And this lane is so beautiful. It's like the prettiest journey, the prettiest path that you can be on because it is yours. And when you start putting yourself in other people's lanes, when you start comparing yourself, when you start getting jealous and insecure and all that, snap, you lost your self-worth right there. You just lost your sense of self-worth in that moment because you're constantly giving your power away to other people. When you compare yourself to other people, you're directly giving that person your energy.
Why would you do that? Why would you have let people have so much power over you to the point where you are making yourself feel bad because you think that they are better than you? Nobody's better than you. Nobody's worse than you. You need to stay humble and committed to yourself and know that nobody is better or worse than you because you're not even needing to compare yourself at all. That is what true confidence is about, is walking into a room, not thinking that you're better than everyone, but knowing that you do not have a reason to compare yourself to anyone at all because you know you're worth it.
And let me tell you something, confidence, confidence is quiet, but insecurity is loud. People who talk shit, who are constantly bringing other people down, who are constantly judging, criticizing, whatever it is, those people have the deepest sense of insecurity. And the most confident people that I know in my life are the most humble people that are so connected to themselves. They don't need to flash their confidence at everybody else. They just inherently know that they are confident, so nobody can take that away from
them. They don't compare themselves to other people. When they're in a conversation, they're not constantly bringing down other people. They're bringing themselves up. And that is the difference is you need to be able to see other people and say, wow, that is amazing, but also bring yourself up.
So that also connects back to the self-deprecating comments. Like, why would you compliment someone but bring yourself down amidst doing that? You need to be able to bring other people up without bringing yourself down because if you're doing that, you're giving everyone everything and leaving yourself with nothing, making you A, a
people pleaser be insecure and also you're putting out the most desperate lack of self-worth energy and to be frank nobody wants to be around people like that nobody wants to be around people who are constantly insecure who are constantly complaining who constantly don't value themselves because it's just not fucking inspiring the end of the day people want to be around people that inspire them that empower them that make them laugh that make them feel happy
If you're that one person that is constantly complaining, you know, bringing yourself down, comparing, being insecure, nobody's going to want to be around you eventually because you're not giving them anything. You're not providing them with any sense of value in their life. But that goes the other way. If you're that person that is so fucking pleasurable to be around, that is so confident and brings other people up and empowers and is an active listener and is kind and is humble, you're
you are so fucking magnetic and people just become so drawn to your energy because you radiate a sense of love and light that nobody can take away from you because it's stemming from within. It's stemming from your center. It's not coming outside of you. It's not coming from bringing other people down or comparing yourself. It's coming from the fact
that you inherently know that you love yourself. You inherently know that you are valuable so nobody can take that away from you. And the last thing, and this is the most important one because it connects them all. The last thing that I stopped doing in order to increase my self-worth is I became very acutely aware of the people that I was surrounding myself with. The five people that you are constantly surrounding yourself with, those people make up your personality.
So let's say you are constantly around people who are complaining, saying self-deprecating jokes. They're insecure. They don't love themselves. They're judgy. You're eventually going to become that person. Whether you like it or not, you're going to become part of that person because you're constantly surrounding yourself with that energy and it becomes poisonous. It becomes toxic. And when I was in a phase in my life where all my friends were like that, there were always people like, I remember so specifically, there was a phase in high school where
Where I had a couple girlfriends that were always saying self-deprecating jokes like they were saying, oh my god I want to kill myself. Oh my god. I look so bad today. Oh my god And they were always being like that that eventually impacted me whether I liked it or not I started to think those thoughts I started to look my at myself in a different way in the mirror I started to grow more and more insecure It's because I was surrounding myself with people who are just fucking negative and insecure all the time
It is so much better to be alone and to tend to your own energy than to be around people like that.
That is the honest truth and that is something that I've learned over the years and as I'm getting older is that I would much rather spend an afternoon by myself than an afternoon with people who are literally bringing me down and I feel like I'm losing brain cells as I talk to them. To be honest, I'm at a phase in life where I have no space for people in my life who are not willing to do the inner work. If you're not willing to grow and you're not on some path or journey to grow as a person, I can't be around you because you're not providing me with anything.
And that is so important. Like in the relationships in your life, you have to be aware that there's an equal exchange of energy. If you're constantly the positive one, the loving one, the one that's giving advice, the one that's empowering other people and you're constantly giving that energy, but your friend or your partner, that person in your life is not giving you anything in return. They're just taking that energy and they're keeping it. They're not giving you anything back except insecurity and negativity.
walk the fuck away, okay? At some point, you're gonna become so drained in that friendship that you don't even know what hit you. You don't even know where it came from. It's just gonna hit you one day and you're gonna realize, wow, this person and me are not on the same energetic alignment. You're gonna realize that they have been giving you nothing except negativity and insecurity and you have been giving them everything. So the people who you surround yourself with, you become. And my biggest piece of advice is start surrounding yourself with people who inspire you.
with people who have the things that you want to have for yourself, with people who are bringing and radiating this energy of light and joy. So let's say you're somebody who really, really wants to get into a relationship, okay? You're somebody who's ready to open her heart. You're somebody who's just ready. You want that to experience that partnership, okay? If your best friend is in the most toxic relationship with a person who's cheating on her, they're constantly breaking up and getting back together and breaking up and getting back together,
That is the energy of relationships that you are surrounding yourself with all the time.
But the opposite is if you have a best friend that is in the most loving, caring, thoughtful relationship with the most amazing man and you get to witness it and experience it through her vicariously, you are inevitably going to attract a person like that too because that's the energy that you're in. You're in this energy of true love. So this goes for everything in life, for success, for
for health, for self-love. If your best friend is somebody who loves herself and constantly empowers herself and she's empowering you amidst that situation, you're gonna become that person too. So the key is quality over quantity in life. And the older that you get, the sooner that you will realize this. But the more people that you surround yourself with that are amazing and inspire you and bring you up and have a good sense of self-worth, the more likely that you will develop that sense of energy in your life too.
be so acutely aware of who you surround yourself with. Have you ever hung out with a certain person and you went back from that hangout and you just felt so insecure and drained, but earlier in the day, you just felt so good. But then after you saw them, you just felt like, you know,
Have you ever had that situation? It is very likely that you just picked up their sense of energy. And first of all, you need to cleanse that energy. You need to tell yourself your mantra. I release any energies that are less than love, that are not serving me, and I wrap myself up in an energy of a white bubble. If you guys want to know more about that, I have a whole podcast episode where I was a guest on the Becoming Her podcast where I talked about the angel energy effect and how to cleanse your energy. So definitely hit a listen to that on Spotify or on Apple Music.
it's with my friend Carla and she is amazing it was such a fun episode to film
But you need to be so aware of who you surround yourself with to the point where if somebody is not serving you, if somebody is not bringing you anything positive into your life, let them go and learn to walk away. And honestly, this is something that's been happening recently in my life with a certain friend in my life where I realized that as much as I love her, she's not providing me with any sense of inspiration or love in my life and it is constantly me that is giving her my energy.
And it got so draining to the point where I wasn't willing to put up with it anymore. I needed to walk away. And that's okay. It doesn't mean that you don't love the person. It doesn't mean that you don't wish them the best, that you wish them good things. It's not that at all. It's not from a sense of anger or gossip or anything. It's just from a sense of you love and value yourself and you have a sense of self-worth so much that you know that being around people like that is going to toxify you. It's going to make you feel bad about yourself. It's not going to add anything to your life. So you're going to walk away and maintain your inner peace.
And that is okay. Sometimes you have to walk away from certain people in your life with love, knowing that they serve their purpose, but now you are ready to do something bigger with your life. You are ready to be aligned with something else and you are not willing to be around people like that anymore. And that is okay. I want to end this episode with one piece of motivational advice, okay?
In six months time, you can either be in a different place or the same place. And that is completely up to you. It is completely up to who you surround yourself with, the actions that you take, the thoughts that you think, and the energy that you put out into the world.
And in life, you have two choices, evolve or remain. And if you choose to remain, life will send you the same lessons, the same deprecating patterns, the same cycles of misery until you respond to them differently. But if you choose to evolve, you will open a door to so much abundance, to so much magic. Even when it's hard, you will open such a beautiful door for so many good and amazing possibilities to come into your life. Beautiful souls, thank you so much for joining me in today's episode.
Feel free to leave a review or DM me any topic suggestions. I hope you feel inspired to claim your power today.