Would You Rather?
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Welcome back to another episode of Chuckle Sandwich. It just keeps going. It never gets better. And for some reason, you keep coming back. I'm Charlie Slimesicle here today with most of the crew. Hey, how's it going, everybody? Welcome back. Welcome back to the Chuckle Sandwich Podcast. It's me, Schlatt, here on the World Wide Web. And where's our fourth member? Let me check. Let me check the databanks. Beep, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Beep, boop.

Gotta check my codec. Gotta check the uplink. Beep, beep, beep. He was fired. I'm sending the data to you on my PDA. We fired him off the podcast. There was a lot of people that were... It was interesting. I saw a lot of people freaking out on Twitter, and they were like, SwaggerSoul, part of the podcast? He lasted about a day. He was until he fucked up. Let's just say it wasn't all milk and honey with that guy.

Oh, Jesus. We put him out on the boat. Yeah, we scaved him. We're better for it. We're better for it. And, you know, I did see, Ted, not to jump right into it here, not to pull a little Philly D, you know, what's happening for him. But I did see we ran a poll amongst some people

sect of the chuckle sandwich viewers and they said something very interesting you know they did they said a lot of interesting stuff but not only did they say that you were the worst member in the chuckle sandwich podcast but i mean i mean hey you know they also said that their favorite episode was the one about charlie being a lizard

Spoiler alert. Cover's blown. Cover's blown and everyone loves it. Rack the old memory there, boys. What was that one? Would You Rathers. It was the Would You Rather episode. And we are looking to make episodes that will make us the most money in the shortest period of time. We have very little patience. I can't come out as a lizard twice, so I guess we can try Would You Rathers. We can see.

Yes! Yep, yep. I'm very excited. Cutting my tail off, growing it back. I'm going to be honest. I know while we were preparing, you guys looked up a good amount of would-you-rathers. I actually don't have a damn one on me, but I know that you guys have a good amount. Do I? Oh, man. Would you rather come prepared to the podcast or be technivison? Oh! Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom!

wires oh man neurons firing neurons firing in there everywhere synapses connecting bioelectricity gosh

Spider-Man, Venom, Miles Morales. Shut up, Ted. Dude, what are you talking about? What are you talking about, bro? That was embarrassing. Jeez Louise. Jeez, wow. Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted. We'll give you a chance to bring this back. I'm going to pitch the first Would You Rather to you, okay? Let's keep on the theme here. Okay. Talking about a little bit of superhero stuff. This is a nice and simple one, but I think it could lend itself to a lot of good debate.

Telekinesis or telepathy? You want to move stuff or you want to think stuff? You move or you thinker. Telekinesis or telepathy? And why? I would probably do telekinesis. I know. So you're telepathy. That's a good one. Why? Why would you go telekinesis? Because anyone who's reading your mind, they're like...

say I'm having a conversation with you. Oh, I can do telekinesis. Charlie says, I know I,

a metal table, I toss it at you, you're dead. Why? Murder. Murder on his mind. That's what I love to say. We should stop making fun of him at the beginning of every single podcast. That is absolutely worrying. It is definitely a theme that the Chuckle Sandwich viewers have gotten very used to. So much so that when I was on TikTok the other day, I came across

Some old videos of me when I was in my acapella group in like senior and like junior year in college. And people were commenting and they were like, that's going to rip them a new one for being in an acapella group.

Oh, man. That's terrible. And you know what I did when I saw that video on my For You page? My head whipped back and I started laughing. Yeah, I'm sure you did. Because I can't believe someone would do something that silly. His eyes rolled up into his head. Yeah. Slack could not believe that people would have hobbies in college. It makes him laugh, guffaw. Loser. He rolls on the ground. I'll tell you what I did in college.

You didn't smoke weed until like less than a year ago. Yeah, and I've only done it twice. Yeah.

I'd rather have telekinesis. Oh, I thought you were just drinking that college coffee out of a really tight straw. No, no, no. I use metal straws, okay? The wide ones. Just one. Been with me for years. The wide metal straws, you know? Can barely get my mouth around it. What? You're at your... Just get it off in one gulp. Wait, can you explain more about the wide metal straws? You seem to... It seems to be... I'd even use a toilet paper straw.

You know, the cardboard thing at the center of the toilet paper. I'd even use that if I could. The amount of suction that you can generate, man. That's awesome. That's like a challenge. Did you know that that's a challenge online? It's a lot of bandwidth. And I'd do it if I could. Because you have this. No, there's an actual challenge where there's a cup of water and you put one of those toilet paper rolls and then you try to suck up through it. And it's like, you need so much, as Schlatt was saying, bandwidth. Can we do this live? Can we do it?

I'd need to shit a lot to get one of those cardboard things. I just replaced it the other day. I refuse to try something that would embarrass me further on this podcast. Well, it's fine. So we can fool all the audio listeners. We can just make the sounds. Oh, okay. That's pretty good. Let's see it.

No, no. This is getting gross. Anyways, so you said you wanted telekinesis? Yeah, of course I want telekinesis. I could look at my girl's boobies and go...

You could make- you could- that's the only way you can make a move? You can't- you can't change the slide and have that be your only bullet point. Someone just broke into my house. There's a loud banging noise as soon as I did that. Oh, it's probably the cat just fucking everything else. I saw the- Probably the cat. Your girl's boobies flying around the room, smashing into shit. You know what I've noticed, actually? When you look through Would You Rathers online, there's a trend. They all seem to be terrible.

It's like, would you rather have this awful thing happen for the rest of your life or this other awful thing happen? These were both good. Well, that brings up a very good point. I mean, why don't we just think of would you rathers on the spot right now? Okay. Improv. Would you rather be stung by 100 bees or be bald forever? Go. 100 bees how frequently? Just once?

All at the same time? Does it change the answer? And by how much? I think it changes the answer a little bit. Okay, how much do you not want to be bald is really what this question is. I mean, being bald is pretty much worse than death to me. I mean, come on, man. Okay, okay, okay. How many bees would it take? Let me reframe. How many bees would it take to go bald? Are you kidding me?

- If it was every day getting stung by several bees, I'd say I'd rather just be bald. - But if it was just once, you'd just take it? - I'd take a hundred bee stings, yeah, of course. Everybody loves my hair, that's why I hide it. - Well, I mean, how many bee stings, I think-- - What if it was, okay, okay. - This came up before, how many bee stings do you-- - Let's say monthly. - Well, a monthly cumulative amount, like a quota you have to hit, it could all happen at once, maybe once every day. - Each month there's a hundred bees.

They will indiscriminately amongst themselves when they will sting you. It could be it could be multiple a day, like three a day. Or alternatively, it could be 100 on the 31st. But you never know. Yeah, I'd be bald. Yeah, no, that's tough. I mean, I stung over and over again. That's a subscription. One thing you wouldn't. Yeah. But if you're bald, you don't mean you wouldn't have any hair. So it's really like it is a toss up. Yeah. Yeah. You really you know, you really wouldn't have any hair. No. So, you know, personally, I'd take the piece.

Jeez, that is hateful to some people. Some people would not enjoy to hear that. Well, those people are probably... Yeah, no, I definitely... If it was a certain amount of bees every month, there was a quota. These bees are coming for me and they're coming for me January to December. I would have to say a bald life. A bald man I'm going to be. I've got a good one. Bald or always have a hair in your mouth that you can never get out. Bald. Bald. Bald. Bald.

So we basically decided that having a hair in your mouth is worse than being stung by a hundred bees every month. Yep. Yep. That is where we've landed. Would you rather, would you rather, I don't know, get, would you rather get, would you rather get trampled by 10 horses?

Would you rather get trampled by ten horses or mauled by a lion? And they both result in death. Which death do you choose? So it's going to be one of these episodes, huh? Dude, this is why I said, like, every would you rather is like terrible versus terrible. We didn't start here. We didn't. We didn't. Here's a good one. Here's a good one. Oh, I thought you were. No, you didn't answer. You didn't answer. I read that one. Fucking trampled, I guess. I don't know. I want to be option C. I want to be pulled apart by gators, dude. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

I'd rather die this way. I mean, that's the whole point of would you rathers is they never matter. Have you been presented with a would you rather? Well, the end goal here, the end is the same. I'm dead. I'm dead via animal. I know, but it's not like any of these have ever led to someone's enlightenment. It's a... No, but listen, there's... Well, have this one on. Would you rather follow Roman Catholicism or go to hell?

Here, Ted, you go first, and then for the next four episodes, we can talk about your choice. Go ahead. Oh, right now I'm going to answer Schlatt's would you rather here. Would I rather follow Roman Catholicism or go to hell? Schlatt is actually, Schlatt is a perfect example of how exactly not to present would you rather's.

Yeah, with his straight ass. Which are just a punchline in themselves, and then as soon as you answer, you're down. Yeah, no, he's just looking straight into the camera with his eerily Breaking Bad-esque tint on his camera right now. I feel like I'm being converted as we speak. His camera's like green. I guess I'd go for the Roman Catholicism thing. That's the sickly light of God. I'd probably do Roman Catholicism because hell sounds like it would be pretty shitty. Unless, of course, you know...

Well, that is the argument. That is the argument, isn't it? I mean, unless, of course, hell ain't that bad. I mean, what is hell? Fire and brimstone. What if I went down there and I could... Hell is all of the would-you-rathers we've discussed. I could maybe do some Doomguy shit down there. I could go... Maybe you could. That would be pretty cool.

Charlie's played a good amount of Doom. He knows. Yeah, I think they're putting out the DLC pretty soon. I think you actually... You beat it before I did. I did. I saw you playing it. Didn't I show you... I played through it all and then I got the script...

The cheating thing and I showed that to you didn't I? Or was it Schlatt that I showed it to? I showed one of you I showed one of you I found this Yeah no it was me it was me I actually I think I got the idea to do a Doom video From you when I was watching you stream it I was like this seems like a really fun game to do Yeah I know it was very fun It was fun indeed Ted is more of a gamer than he gives off

He's gaming sometimes. I'm always gaming. I'm trying to game with the two of you all the time, but you're like, oh, I've got business. I'm doing business stuff. Oh, look at me. I'm a businessman. That's what they both say. How about this, Ted? Diving around in money. Fending off bees. Would you rather have unlimited bacon, but no more games, or games, unlimited games,

And no games. So I found out recently that this isn't even from Schlecht's memory. He didn't make this up. No bacon in two games or two games and no bacon? This is from something from like Rooster Teeth or something. What's it from again? Machinima Respawn. Yeah, Machinima Respawn. I pepper little inbox references in here and there, man. That was my favorite series growing up, watching YouTube, watching the old Sark Hutch scene-anners.

Guys talk about Call of Duty. Those were some of the first guys I watched. I did funny trouble in Terrorist Town moments like CNN. When I was younger, I was always like, man, if I'm ever going to be... When I first started doing the YouTube...

When I first started doing YouTube, I was doing the gaming channel thing. And I was like, if I'm ever going to become a big YouTuber like Xenianers, I got to get his Astro Gaming headset. Otherwise, I would look up his headset. I'm literally wearing the last headset. For audio listeners, love you to death. Schlatt's door moved, but it was the cat all along. Yeah.

I'm actually wearing the Audio Technica BPHS-1. This is the headset that C-Nanners used for years. Really? And I found the exact ear pads, too. The exact ear pads. Are they comfortable? They're very comfortable. They're very comfortable. Let's hear your best C-Nanners right now. I'm the hidden. I'm creeping around. I can smell you. That is gassy Mexican. Adam would do... Adam was literally just the laugh track in all these videos. He'd just go...

You know what's funny? For as much as I watch scene editors and I remember enjoying it explicitly, I couldn't tell you what distinguishing characteristics of the scene editor's video were. Bald. Gray shirt. Enjoying himself. He made the choice. He made the choice. He made the choice. He made the choice. He was off.

But wasn't your inspiration behind the weekly slap-slap originally? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was totally C-Nanners and all those old school Call of Duty commentators. Woody's Gamertag was another good one. Besides C-Nanners, what's your other favorite old school commentator? Woody's Gamertag. His Mail Monday series. So would you rather kill C-Nanners or Woody's Gamertag? Is that where that was going? Oh, man.

Oh my God. Now I want to go down this rabbit hole and see. I got you good there, baby. I got you good. I'm not going to change the topic until you make a decision. I would probably kill- And they both love this show. They both love this podcast. They're both big fans of the podcast. Yeah, big fans of the podcast. We've talked to them multiple times. As are most people. I would probably kill Sea Nanners. Really? Because I feel like Sea Nanners was just a source of laughs.

for the most part, and Woody's gamer tag was more of the source of, like, introspection through the Male Monday series, where he basically just taught 11-year-old kids how to have sex. He basically just gave...

He gave advice. He gave advice. And a lot of it happened to be, you know, help. How do I ask out girls and stuff like that? Oh, okay. Yeah. I mean, that sounds very similar to what you did. Are you still doing the weekly slap or are you done with that? No. Not at the moment. Not at the moment? No. Any plans? No.

Ted, what were your big kind of inspirations like that? Big YouTube inspirations? I mean, what originally got me into everything, almost a lot of the stuff I do now was Freddie Wong with the film stuff. Fuck yeah. Oh, hell yeah. I used to watch him.

What he did back when he was originally just like a duo. Back when Brandon Lost was still on the Freddie W channel, like before they split and then he started doing the level zero gaming and then Rocket Jump became a thing. Like when they were first doing that kind of stuff.

With gaming stuff, I mean, shit. I mean, I did... Everyone games. It was all Minecraft. You know, in 2011 was around when the last Minecraft wave was happening, right? Like around 10 years.

Is it really that long ago? Is it a 10-year cycle that this thing operates with him? I made my stepfather a bet when I was a child. Listen, it was like taking candy from a baby, but I won. I made him a bet as I was playing Minecraft. He was like, that game's not going to be around in 10 years. And I was like, yeah, it was. And it was. It is now. So...

But if you think about it, I mean, that's the amount of like, is that what happens with Minecraft? I'm genuinely curious about that. Is it, is it, do you think it'll go through after the, after everything with the, with dreaming those guys will wane? Do you think that like there will be, unless I mean, anyone can pick up this game, anyone can pick up this game and make something out of it. In my opinion. Uh,

I mean, like, I have done for a long time on my channel very much like the games that have come out, right? None of them have the same kind of staying power as this stuff. Because my... I mean...

Everyone kind of knows how Minecraft works. I picture it as a blank canvas, right? Whether it's fucking RP or some mod shit or whatever the hell you want to do. If you're just a gaming content creator, it's very easy to slap kind of whatever the hell you want in the context of Minecraft. Yeah, that is true. I think it's possible. Would you say that Minecraft is one of your favorite games? I don't think so.

I think it's... I think it's... What's one of your favorite games? I'm gone! I'm gone! I'm a bad guy! My power is... Get out! You little bastard! I'm not MCYT anymore! He is no longer Minecraft YouTuber! No, no, no. Burn him at stake. I love Minecraft. I think it's... You know, I... What's your favorite game? I played it a lot as a kid. I like... I really like Dying Light. Would you rather play Dying Light for the rest of your life or Minecraft for the rest of your life? For the rest of my life.

For the rest of my life? Yep. The only game you can play for the rest of your life. I'd probably pick Minecraft.

That's a pretty interesting answer because Dying Light is your favorite game. Well, no, because here's the thing about Dying Light. I agree with you on Dying Light. Dying Light, for those of you who don't know, who are listening right now, Dying Light is a zombie game. Originally, it was made by the developers from Dead Island. They were supposed to make a sequel to Dead Island that never came out because all those people ended up working on the project, which became Dying Light. Yeah.

And it's a zombie apocalypse game. It's set place, I think, in Turkey. Yeah, it's sort of a fictional country called Haran. But I like it so much because I'm a huge parkour guy. It's got parkour. It's got zombies. It's not the best game, you know what I mean? But it just happens to have all the things I really like. They're making a new one, too. So I follow it really closely and I harass people.

to sponsor me, which probably makes them want to sponsor me less because they know that I'm going to play their fucking game no matter what. They're like, this bastard is going to be wrapped around our finger no matter what we do. I've been watching Dying Light 2 so close. Schlatt, so then, Schlatt, what's your favorite game? DayZ. Easily. Oh, okay. So DayZ and Minecraft. Honestly, I think that those are pretty, you know, those are...

Pretty at odds. I think Charlie picked Minecraft for what game you'd want to play for the rest of your life. I can explain why. Yeah, because Minecraft is kind of like more of a sandbox than anything else. Dying Light, there's a goal. Minecraft, you just have fun with friends. Yeah. In Dying Light, you're always going to be doing the same thing. Same thing applies to a lot of games. Minecraft, dude, you can bullshit whatever the fuck you want. Exactly. Yeah.

But that is why, given the choice between Minecraft and DayZ for me...

I would pick DayZ because it kind of is the same vibe. You're kind of just running around doing whatever. You can make the story. You can create interactions. You can play whichever way you want. There's no point. There's no, like, goal. They don't tell you how to play. Schlatz recently got me into this new mode on DayZ called Namalsk. And it's this... It's a smaller island, and...

It's pretty much just like a couple towns and then a bunch of military bases. For those of you who played DayZ... For those of you who haven't played DayZ, though, who are listening, DayZ was originally a mod that was made out of the Arma 2 engine. Arma 2 is a military simulator video game. And it was originally a mod, and then it got turned into this standalone game. So it's pretty fun. It's like... A lot of it comes from, like...

interactions do you have with surviving against the environment and stuff? You're in an apocalyptic wasteland. There's zombies all over the place. And you start, you spawn with nothing in the middle of nowhere. There's no map. It very much does not hold your hand at all. Yeah.

I think that's what really actually... Because on paper, it's like... And I'm sure other people have experienced this. On paper, it's something that I'm like, dude, I would love this game. And I got in when I was 14 or 15 and ran around and just kept getting mauled down by random shit in places. And I was like, all right, I hate this game. And I haven't touched it since, but I still feel like I'd like it. I just, I don't know. That's the thing, dude. You need like 100 hours in DayZ before you actually...

feel confident enough to like survive you also need some some like you need those hours to then understand how many hours lie ahead of you when it comes to like finding shit and walking around um but what namask is is well i suppose slat if you'd like to i can tell you all about namask is a it okay so

There's just this dude who's, uh, so Daisy has been basically kept alive by the modding community for the better part. Uh, it came out at the standalone version in 2014, um, for, for years and years, the community was just fucking so pissed at the developer Bohemia because they just didn't, they felt like they didn't allocate the resources, uh,

Based on the amount it sold and all that, they felt like the game was just coming along too slow. They released it way too early. It was broken. The mechanics were really not there. It was still running on that old-ass engine. Bohemia picked up DayZ standalone? Like, they straight up bought...

So it was a mod created by Dean Hall. Bohemia hired Dean Hall to make a standalone version of the game. Which I remember originally did not do well. Well, it did really well at first in terms of sales. Yeah, but it killed it right out the gate. But then it had an insane drop off because people were like, oh, this game is not, this game is just, it sucks. Yeah, you need a really good CPU also to run it.

Exactly. That's the truth generally with most of Bohemia's games with Arma, Arma 3. It all comes back to wires. So... Download. It basically followed this thing where it just plateaued for a while in like 2017, 2018. Yeah. But then certain mods that have been worked on for years and years started fucking coming out.

And it slowly but surely started going up, up. And basically right now, I think January. Sorry. In January, DayZ actually peaked. Yes.

January 2021, it had the most people playing it that the game has ever seen. That's so interesting. Because of the community servers. Not because of anything that Bohemia has actually done, but because there are people who do this for no pay, who just mod in shit like fucking helicopters and new guns because they don't add anything. And this guy just made a map

A dude made a full-blown fucking map that is more fun than the original map. And community servers are just going fucking crazy right now. Yeah, the maps are pretty... The original, was it Cheranus or something? The original map... Cheranus. Cheranus. It's huge. It's a big map, and it's really... It takes a long time to get... But how big in comparison to...

That original map is, would you say, in terms of maybe a fraction? How many skyrims is it? By a fraction, what would you say? Do you think it's a fourth of it? A fourth of the size? The mosque is probably...

smaller than a fourth of the size of this of the old map yeah there's four most maybe look the point is it's really small and and it you don't give a shit about the fractions shut the fuck up about the fractions it's really small you gotta understand how small this is it's it's minuscule

Well, the thing is, what people like about DayZ is the fucking interaction. No one's here to play DayZ to just run around on just a plane that just goes forever. You want to see people. You want to have those interactions. And that's what Namask does perfectly. How many people get in a server, like on a map? On the old map, you could have over 100 people. How about this one, Namask? Generally, Namask has like 40 people.

And the way it works is you all spawn at the top. There's one big island at the top. And then there's one city in the middle, basically. There's one city in the middle that if you want to survive because it's cold as fuck and you need resources and food to survive, you all go to the middle. You all go to this middle city, the biggest place in the game called Vorkuta.

That's where you are going to find food. Uh, the food is frozen. You can't eat it. You have to sit it at a fire. You have to make a fire in the middle of a fucking city. I was playing. And thaw your food out. And then it just leads to a whole bunch of interactions that, that the, that the base game never. I think, I think that here's the thing. Allowed. I think that it's, I, I recently, I played it today for the first time. Um, I have so many hours on the wall. Cause, cause Shlack kept recommending it to me. Uh,

And I think that people are nicer in the mosque. Yeah. Because everyone's in the same level of hardship of being cold and miserable that people join. So I met this guy and I traveled with him for a little bit. And I was like, I was sick. I was wet. I was drenched. There was for some reason, all the zombies, they kept aggroing towards me and not my buddy that I had met. So they kept attacking me and I kept having to use my bandages. But

And I don't know why that's so fun, but it was so fun. It's, and I, you know, I think my favorite part about Daisy is just being able to find stuff like bigger clothing that has more storage space. That's probably the most concrete. It's like,

That gives you the most serotonin. Yeah, it gives me the most dopamine. Just finding better things. Yeah, finding my fuel best. It sounds like they just keep you wet and sad for so long that if you get any stimuli, you're very happy. Exactly, yeah. And the fun thing about Nomalsk is that, and the reason, Ted, why people are friendlier is because you get better shit as you go farther south. So there's two islands. You spawn on the north island.

And then there's a South Island, there's a Southern Island that has a bunch of military gear and everything, stuff you can't find on the North Island. So once you survive long enough on the North Island-

Well, there's a few different ways to get there. Once you survive in Vorkuta, then you start making your way down south, which is where the actual combat and intense shit happens. Because there's like two or three ways to get to the southern island. There's a dam you can cross. You can swim this straight. Or you can go through a literal military base to get to the actual other island. And it's just crazy how well thought out the map.

is. Is that the bridge? Yeah, there's a dam. There's like a little landmass with a military tower on it that people put bear traps on and shit and snipe off of. It's crazy, bro. How often in this game do you find most of the time it's

just being killed on site versus having kind of like a fun interaction that you remember. Well, that's the thing. You need a lot of hours. You need a lot of hours for that not to happen, which is why I, a lot of people have said to me like, Oh yeah, I want to play no mosque with you. And I'm like, how many hours do you have? And they're like, eh, you know, I've never played. And then I'm like, I don't want to play with you.

Well, I mean, it sounds rude, which sounds fucking awful. I do have 247 hours. I have 247 hours in, in Daisy in general. Yeah. So I would play with you, Ted, but there are some people who I just would not play with. I think they need to learn the game a little more. I get better at the combat and the mechanics. Why don't you name drop some people right now? You know,

You know, you could just say. You could just say. You want to name drop some people right now, Sean? You could just tell me to my face. Yeah, I would not play the game with Charles Slimesicle. I just wouldn't do it. I just wouldn't do it. I just wouldn't play it with him. I'm going to be too busy playing Minecraft for the rest of my life. Okay, well, have fun with that. So, not my choice. I think that you should make... It seems like you're really passionate about this. You should make a main channel vid. Main channel vid. I've had a script...

for years at this point that i've been working on every now and then but uh i don't know

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I've been meaning to bring this up with you. Might as well bring it up with you on the podcast. But I was actually watching some of your older video essay stuff. And I think you're very good at that. You're very well spoken. Oh, yeah. What went wrong? I feel like people would really enjoy... It just didn't make money, buddy. I think now it would. Because people would listen to anything you have to say. Yeah, sure. But we just go podcast. Would you rather... Honey. Honey.

Makes more. You're the one who suggested doing that. Listen, man. Why did you look back at the Pope? Why did you look back at the Pope when we're talking about this? What does he know? What does he know? What is he forcing you to do, Schlatt? I've always... I've felt this way for a long time, but... Like, it just... YouTube prioritizes and makes it...

immensely clear the type of content you should be posting on your YouTube channel and anyone who who says like oh, you know fuck that I'm gonna I'm gonna Make this type of content that that YouTube won't recommend or anything like that is is doing it the wrong way You talking about me right now? That's not to say It depends, well it's either one of two things It's either one of two things, right? I do kind of do that At least to my side It's either a lot of stress

because you're putting yourself under the pressure of succeeding numbers-wise, or they have really successful Patreon and just kind of do their own thing in a corner, which is like my favorite sub-genre of creators. Charlie, you have said before that that is your dream. Yeah, that's the optimal place. Dude, it's so fucking stressful, guys.

trying to keep up with the algorithm and everything. Like, that's why, in my opinion, the best thing you can possibly do for yourself as an, you know, entertainer or whatever is have a, have a, you know, dedicated, uh, fan base of people that just enjoy your content and come back and have people that, um,

You know, like a Patreon or something. Like, have that dedicated corner. And then it kind of just slowly grows or is, you know, whatever. That's kind of the... That's like the video essay framework I've seen a lot of people take. And it's hard to make work because you need to have something before that. Right? And your content has to be really good for people to, you know, do that. Sorry, you can keep going. No, I was going to say there's...

There's one channel that I've been getting into recently that I had a friend recommend to me. Hbomberguy. I like his video essays a lot. I'm pretty sure he's a pretty pop in Patreon. But he did like a video essay on like, it was like an hour 30 minute on like Fallout New Vegas. And I ended up watching the whole thing. And the dude's got, holy shit, he's almost got 10,000 patrons.

That's nuts. That's a lot of money. That's a lot of money. Hey, you know what? Maybe I get back into it. Yeah. I've always just followed the money. Maybe this video essay thing, somehow my heart's telling me. Yeah, but I mean, I'm sure that you could set aside some time and you could... I feel this very strongly. I have always enjoyed making videos. There's just a certain level of me just like...

I feel like once I have, you know, done my time on YouTube on the successful shit, I will, I will eventually go back to, you know, the kind of content that,

That fulfills me maybe a little more. I wouldn't do shit on YouTube if it wasn't fulfilling. I still enjoy what I'm doing. I understand what you mean because there is a very big difference. I realized this recently because I was on a film set that I ran myself recently. I realized that there is a very big difference for me between what I do on YouTube. I love what I do on YouTube, but then get me back on a film set and as hard as the work that is doing that, but like...

being on there and doing that stuff is, is, is there is a significant more feeling of rewarding, um, that I get from doing it, which is why what I got working on for my channel is a very fun video. It's exciting. It's exciting. It's exciting to see what you're doing. Yeah. Keep your eyes, keep your eyes peeled. Chucklers. That stuff is very tough to do. Um, and you know, make the money now, go back to it later. The fuck cares.

Sure. I kind of have the same attitude, you know, like this is definitely something though that like, at least for me, uh, we've talked about it a little, so I think you guys feel the same. Correct me if I'm wrong, but, um, I've always loved, like, you know, I've always had a passion for, for making videos. So it's kind of one of those things where, yeah, you, you cash in and then you kind of make that little corner and, and, you know, it's,

sort of like half retirement there definitely is a way i could probably make my videos more youtube wants the way more youtube wants but i think i'm just a little belligerent you wouldn't like it as much i think i'm a little bit belligerent about it too though where i'm just like if i keep going and i keep just doing whatever the fuck then it'll just eventually like because you know there is definitely and that's not to say that i'm not like none of us are like fucking

We find a balance. We all fucking do it. We're the chuckle sandwich, baby. No one does it like us. You have to find a balance between giving in to the algorithm and doing shit that makes you happy still. Giving in to the corporate overlords. Well, it's funny. It's like we're...

It's like the algorithm is like the mythological Greek gods who are like are fucking with the humans in stories. Yes. You know? Gotta find the balance between musk and husk. That's what I feel like. You want to repeat what? Musk and husk. Hey, I like that. You like that? Would you rather find a balance? Would you rather prefer musk or husk? So guys, I did what I do best. I go on Reddit.

And I type in r slash would you rather. And I add a little, I do a little appending to the URL and I type in controversial. Yeah. And what I see truly surprises me. Would you rather be transported to Among Us and be sussy or not be transported to Among Us and not be sussy?

Is that real? Yeah, that was the top one in controversial this month. That's literally the worst thing I've ever heard. What do they say? Most people say they don't want to be sussy. What? They don't want to be sussy, huh? For one, what is it? Two in ten of all those people have to be sus. That's how it works. Some of them are. That's how it works. What?

I think it's rather sus that you'd bring this question. Yeah, it is a little sussy of you. Just a little and a little sus. This is a little sus. Nothing wrong with being a little sus from time to time. Among us. So that was a good one. I got another one. I got another one. Ready? Ready? This is also from the controversial section. Oh, good. Good. Would you rather have a healthy, functional family or drown in a bathtub full of viscous syrup? Or be sus in Among Us. Do you rather have a...

healthy, functional family or drown in a bathtub full of viscous syrup. What grade is the syrup? Is it pancake syrup or maple syrup? And let's just clarify for our audio listeners, love you to death. This is not just any normal syrup. This is very viscous syrup, so much so. Does viscous mean more liquidy or thicker? I've always never been sure. Thicker.

- It's thicker. - Are you sure? Are you sure? - Syrup inherently is viscous. So the fact that they're calling it viscous syrup means that this is the thickest syrup you've ever dealt with. - I know. And you know what? You wanna know what Reddit said? - They want the syrup, don't they?

They want that goddamn syrup. They want the syrup. And I also enjoy the fact that it's on a Would You Rather subreddit. Also implies that the poster thinks that they cannot decide between these two decisions. Like, they see a fully functional family and a bathtub of syrup. They're sitting at their computer to their left. They have their mother. They have their brother. They have their father. All smiling, watching TV together.

eating their vegetables to their right. A single bathtub, a decrepit bathtub in a dark room. If John's syrup came to their doorstep... Full of just glimmering dark syrup. If John's syrup came to their doorstep at midnight with a looming bathtub of viscous syrup, they would leave their home and throw it all away in a heartbeat just for the embrace of the viscous death. Hard to say no to that. Hard to say no. Um...

Would you rather make someone happy or not? On the controversial section. It's probably there because it sucks. Let me bring in another one. Two thirds of the people who replied said not.

Two thirds of people on Reddit want people to be unhappy. They don't want anyone to be happy. I've got one. We talked about heroes earlier. This kind of fits in at like our kind of inspirations. Would you rather vomit on your hero or have your hero vomit on you? So Schlatt, I ask you, would you rather vomit on Sea Nanners or have Sea Nanners vomit on you? That's a really good question. I'd rather vomit on Sea Nanners. Why? Because I wouldn't.

I wouldn't want anything to affect that perfect godlike status he holds in my brain. So you don't want him to defile that? No. You don't want him to mess up the parasocial relationship you have? That would not be a funny moment. I need him to love me parasocially.

And I need to love him parasocially. I want C-Nanners to parasocially bump on me. That sounds like in three years, Schlatt's first single that he releases when he's done with all the YouTube stuff, Love Me Parasocially. Oh my god, that's actually... You like do Love Me and then in parentheses parasocially? Yeah, and it's a... Take notes, corpse husband. And it's a bedroom pop album. Sweet Schlaggy.

Who is your hero, Todd? Who's my hero? Oh, I mean, if we were just going by the same set of set of circumstances that we were doing with Schlatt, I guess we could say, would I let Freddie Wong throw up on me or not? Freddie Wong is coming at you. He doesn't look so good. Neither do you. Oh, Freddie, Freddie, stay back. What's going on, man? Freddie, what would I do?

Yeah, I'd fucking judo flip the fuck out of him and throw up right into his face. Okay, so you do. I go, I go. It doesn't matter anyways, because Freddie Wong died in a motorcycle accident. It's true. It's true. In video game high school, he died. He did die. And he was canonically Freddie Wong in that series. He died as a zombie. And now he's Freddie gone. Oh, no.

What did you just say? I said now he's Freddy gone. God bless his heart. This is completely random, almost. But Freddy Wong, in my mind, occupies the same space as Corridor Digital. Yes. I'm so happy that they're finding success right now. Yeah, I was thinking about that. It's so good. It's so good. I love it. And that relates to what Schlatt was saying earlier. I mean, you can either make the content that you want or you can make the content that

that YouTube is gonna like. And in this case, so Kordor Digital, if you guys are wondering, Kordor Digital is, they're basically a production company, but they're like a YouTube, they make YouTube-- - Started out as like special effects short films. - Yeah, they're really into VFX. - VFX channel, like Freddie W. - Yeah, visual effects, that kind of stuff. They were sort of like, they were almost like a sister YouTube channel to Rocket Jump.

in some capacity. They're all friends and stuff like that. But they recently, or not even recently, they've been doing it for like a couple of years at this point, but, um, they do these VFX artists react, stunt actors react to certain pieces of media. And it does so well. And it's actually so entertaining and it's very, very good to watch while high. Um,

They make VFX pieces as well, like in those series. Yeah, yeah. Like there's one where fucking they did a VFX like whole... Oh yeah, they made Harry Potter R-rated. Rick O'Malfoy turns Harry Potter into a basketball and then dunks him and it's fucking insane. Yeah. Like we made it R-rated. But what I was going to say is...

Because they did a really good pivot, by the way. That is, I think, one of the most successful pivots I've seen where the short film VFX wasn't working on YouTube, so they did this. They basically do the same thing, but in this different framework. Yeah. So smart. Dude, quarter digital is...

I want to say it's the only channel that I've watched for over a decade consistently. - I respect them so much and I met them like last year. - You met them? - I met them at a sponsor event for Ghost Recon Breakpoint. - Oh yeah, I remember you talking about this. - And like, I remember, I was like playing with like, I think I just was playing with like developers of the game, right? And then we were having a good time and they were like right across the screen from me. I like peer over and be like, hey, how are they doing?

And then after the thing, I remember this is the first time I was ever nervous to approach someone. Right. I would get starstruck with them. Are you kidding me? I'd get starstruck with Quarter Digital. But for me, it wasn't like... There's kind of a thing on YouTube where as you kind of start to grow into your own...

it becomes less intimidating to network with people. For them, though, since I'd always just been such a fan of their content, I approached them afterwards, right before I was getting in the Uber to get out of there. I don't know. I didn't even have a plan going in. I was just like, hey, guys, I just have enjoyed your stuff. And then that was when they all threw up all over me, and it was just...

And now we hate him. Fuck Corridor Digital. And now we hate him. And now we hate him. You just played the long con. You absolutely. I didn't even know. I didn't even know it was going there. That was a real story, though. It was definitely real. That was great, Charlie. Was that story real? Did you like that? Was that story real? Anyway, then Ted came up and broke both my hands. No, no, no, no. We're past that. We are past that.

We were past that. Yeah, that story was real. I didn't know I was going to do the... Oh, okay. That's hilarious. No, that was the reason I brought it up is because they were probably one of my kind of, I guess, heroes or people I really just enjoyed and loved watching and have kept up with. So I have that in my mind, right? I have that...

and I'm now like, you know, would I have barfed on them? I think I'd rather if they barfed on me, to be honest. Because then... That phrase is like, oh, that's awkward for you. Now I feel better in this conversation. But you realize in the context of

of choosing a hero, you're choosing all of Cordura Digital. So the entire company is going to be throwing up on you all at once. Do you understand? That's going to be... They had bad catering. They had bad catering that day. Have you ever seen Tim and Eric's billion dollar movie? I don't think I have actually, no. Well, if you're... It reminds me of the shrimp scene. And for our audio listeners and our video watchers, love you to death.

If you know what the shrimp scene is from Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie, then you'll know what I'm talking about. Anyways, you guys got any other would-you-rathers? Yes, I do. Would you rather have 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife or never be able to use spoons but always have a knife? Okay, you've got to repeat that one more time.

more time because that's like that's like a when sally has an apple and gives seven apples to billy does billy have 11 apples or is he a bitch like what is the hypotenuse would you rather have 10 000 spoons when all you need is a knife so if you need to like cut chicken right you have a fork you're holding it down you try to cut it with your knife it's not going through why it's a rounded edge not a knife it's a spoon one of 10 000 that you always have

Or, alternatively, you go to eat soup. You go to get the macaroni. You pick it up. You got one on the end, but you got this knife. You always have the knife with you, but never spoons. Is there macaroni normally in your soup?

Did I say that? Yeah, you did. You said, you said, you said, you said, I'm going to move on to the next one. Guys. Slimesicle screwed it up again. Slimesicle messed it up again. What? Oh my God. Macaroni. Is that a vegetable? If not, why he eat? Well, no, I mean, so, so I'd say that probably I would go with the fork one, the, the, the macaroni soup one, because, uh,

You could just- There's no fork one! There is a knife or a spoon! No forks were mentioned, Ted. There's no fork in here! No forks were mentioned. Wait, so the spoon becomes a knife? What?! I'm really confused. Ten thousand spoons! Ten thousand spoons and never a knife. Okay. Or one knife and never spoons. Never spoons. I'm never spoons. Yeah, I- I- I would never spoons. I never want a spoon. I don't need- I don't need spoons. Boom. You just pick up- you pick up the- the whatever orifice. You always have a knife. I eat cereal out of the box.

I don't need a spoon ever. There you go. I'm on the same page as Swant. I don't need soup. 10,000 spoons. Always have them. Infinite ammo. No. Infinite ammo. Infinite ammo pickup. You need some place to store them. That's impossible. Yeah, I suppose... You need some place to store them. I don't see that in the prompt. We're just getting crazy with this. Charlie's bringing up a very valid point, and...

I think I'm going to ask him about it starting now. Charlie, are these spoons, in the similarity to the previous pus and blood sweating question, do these, does this pus, does this spoon... That was weeks ago. You're still on it. It's the last time we did Witch Rattata, you fucking bastard. Yeah, you said some unsavory things, man. Do these spoons come out of...

nebulous dimension are you about to ask me if they come out of my pockets or my pores because i swear to god well do they could they come out of pores could they come i guess they could come out of pores i i i picture it as more of a thing where like like spider-man i think it would be a nebulous dimension i think you would have like you reach into your back pocket where you typically keep your silverware for instances like this and instead of finding a knife there you find a spoon and you go again and it's another spoon and that keeps happening but you always have 10 000 okay

And if I throw a spoon away... So it's like if you throw all the spoons, yeah. But let's say I throw a spoon away into, you know... I have a way to address this question. Let's say I throw a spoon away into a furnace and I lock that furnace with an atomic lock. Shut the fuck up!

Let's just assume. You locked the super furnace with the atomic lock. Let's assume that that spoon is destroyed. I have now 9,999. Now do I get 10,000? I get one spoon back. Well, that was actually a hyperspoon. So what's going to happen is... What the fuck is a hyperspoon?

For our audio listeners, love you to death. He's walking out of the room in his stupid fucking gallivantuous walk. And there were two.

All right. Here's how I picture it. You toss out one spoon until you, when you get to the end of your 10,000 and you reach in, it starts drawing from the spoons you've put out. So I picture, I picture the one in the furnace will now disappear to go back to your reserve. Oh. So boys, have a reserve of 10,000 spoons. You know what I mean? It's kind of like when you put bullet holes in a video game. If you keep shooting at a wall, you'll start to see, you'll start to see. You can make 10,000.

10,000 bullet holes and then it starts repeating because that's some of those bullet hole textures start to go away when you Yeah, so now that we've spoken on the logistics of having 10,000 spoons. Would you rather have that or a knife? Um, I'd probably have a knife Yeah

Oh, I got some salami while you guys were talking about that. Would you rather have 10,000 salami or a knife? Knife. Really? Oh, salami. 10,000? Yeah, you could spawn salami whenever. I mean, and we're assuming the salami does not go bad, right, Charlie? Can you spawn it at any speed in any direction? I mean, if I could just start launching salami like I'm a salami shooter, that would be incredible. And that would be way better than just having a fucking butter knife.

That is absolutely no question. I can go like this. If it comes out of my hands, I can go, oh, I'm hungry today. My mouth's full of salami. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. What is this, Texas? Just eating meats all week? I don't think it's going to work, man. We'll see how this plays out. Why did you eat it? Give us another would you rather. Fine. This fits. This fits. Would you rather eat only raw foods or only TV dinners, like microwave dinners?

TV dinners are good. What defines a TV dinner? Like a fucking funny meal. What are they called? Well, I love funny meals. Like you heat up a tray of pulled pork in the microwave and that's it. I did that last night. That's fine. I'll do that. I'm not trying to eat raw meat my whole life. I had like a

I had like a summer where I only ate like raw things. If I start eating raw meat, I'll start laughing all the time. And then when I try to shoot a gun, my hand will shake around. Your hands will be shaky. Yeah. Exactly. This is why it won't work. We're going to keep that between us, Shalette. I don't know what that is. Should I ask for context? I mean, it's here. We're here. No, it's okay.

No, actually, I will say. Maybe that's a symptom of scurvy or something. That's the symptoms that you get when you eat raw human meat. When you're a cannibal. You start laughing all the time, and when you try to shoot a gun, your hand shakes all over the place. What's...

It's funny because DayZ is such a bad game. Like, I shouldn't enjoy it as much as I do. It's not too good. Most people who pick it up for the first time will be like, I don't like this. I sometimes ask Shladd what games he plays, and he'll always just say only DayZ. He won't elaborate on any other games that he plays. Do you play any other games? No. Okay, but if you were to say, oh, what's your second most played game ever?

The second most played game. I forget to launch DayZ with it, you know? My second most played game is probably Minecraft. Really? Okay, so, oh, that's interesting. So you really, do you, so are you not really that much of a gamer? So do you like Minecraft? Yeah, I like Minecraft. It's a good game. I enjoy it. I just like DayZ more. Get out of here, man!

Get out of here, man. He's eating his salami. My cat. Charlie, this has been such an interesting episode of just sliding in and out of. Get out of here, man. Charlie, where'd you go? He told me to go. Oh, I see. I was talking to my dog. Come here, man. Come here, man. Today on the Chuckle Sandwich Podcast, we learn that Charlie thinks that he's Schlatt's cat. Charlie becomes cat?

Are we doing that voice whenever Charlie wants to make fun of Ted? He's gonna do that voice. No, that's not my... That's my making fun of the situation, generally. Uh-huh. It's not a specific voice. Hey there, Pablo. Oh, he's fucking cute.

He's fucking cute. His name isn't Pablo, though. I know, it's not! Schlatt, do you have another would you rather for us? You've only said like two. Last one. Oh, you only have three? Would you rather, and a classic, would you rather have to watch your parents have sex every day for the rest of your life or join in once? I thought you were going to say, I thought you were going to say, would you rather have your parents see, watch your parents have sex every day or join ISIS?

That's what you were about to say. Oh, God, man. Oh, God. That's worse. Definitely worse. Definitely worse. I would definitely watch my parents have sex every day rather than join an international terrorist group. But what was the... Or join in once? Join in once. Oh, no. Mm-hmm. I'm not going on record to make any either of these choices. I'd join in once. You'd join in once? Oh, no.

No, he wouldn't. How hot is your mom? Yeah, I suppose. I think that's the question. How hot is your mom? I suppose if it's an everyday thing, eventually they get older. And the longer you wait, the more you have to watch old people sex happen. It gets worse and worse and it goes on for longer and longer. Oh, and it smells and it's... Why are you doing this?

Why are you doing this? They won't even, like, it's... It doesn't even matter if they want to or not. They have to have sex every day so I can watch. It doesn't even matter. This is a would-you-rather, not a fucking audiobook, lad. Loveless sex. Their eyes are dark and lightless. They are husks pushing together. And I see them every day. It's like a curse continues until they're even dead. Yeah.

We have to fuck again. Yeah, no, I'd do it once. I'd do it once. You really sold it for me. Oh, I found it. I found it on the page, too. Time to have sex in front of our son. Would you rather bang an avatar or Mrs. Incredible? Mrs. Incredible.

Easy. Like the blue people? It doesn't actually matter. The blue people? Well, I mean... They're huge, Ted. Hey, man. That could be kind of cool. They're huge. It could be a new experience. A giant blue woman? Although, how do you have sex with them? You don't think having a fucking life-size version of Gumby would be a new experience? They're going to start trying to plug their hair into you, dude. It's not going to be good. Yeah, no, I...

Yeah. I, as a human, I wouldn't want to have sex with an avatar. Maybe as an avatar, I'd want to have sex with an avatar. But Mrs. Incredible, she could probably fit into places others could not. So...

That would be pretty cool. I'd pick my girlfriend in case she's watching this. So the next question is going to be... Nice. Would you rather... Would you rather turn off the podcast? Or have it end now? Charlie, you don't need to answer that question because you're obviously taken. I am. I'm taken too. What? By the game.

Charlie, what's the... Would you rather... I don't know what's last name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I was gonna... I'm trying to think of a good one here. I have a bunch here. Which one would be good to end it on? Would you rather... Would you rather look weak and be strong or look strong and be weak? Would you rather be strong and be weak? Or would you rather look strong and be weak or be weak and look strong? Is that what you said? Yes. I would rather be... Look... Probably look...

look weak and be strong i suppose i feel like i kind of you think i've always been kind of skinnier on the skinnier side like i've never had the huge muscles or anything so i'm kind of used to that but i've but i also am a big guy so i've got a lot of leverage so i kind of already yeah you look a little more you'd look a little more ghoulish you want me to like like are we talking in the same zone of like i'm hollow i'm a dark souls hollow yeah you look like golem but you can lift a car that's hilarious

I would want to do that, yeah. I'd rather do that than look like fucking... It's really more of a question of, like, would you rather pick up big things or would you rather just, like, look very impressive? Look like you can. Yeah. Which is actually what a lot of people strive for more than picking up big things. Yeah, of course, dude. I would rather look strong and be weak because then I could compensate with a gun. Damn.

Modern solution. Yeah, I suppose I wouldn't really want to look like Gollum. Yeah. Yeah, I just kind of overpushed you. Yeah, you did. You really had an answer that you wanted me to give you, and once I didn't give it to you, you were like, hey, this is why you're wrong and dumb and stupid. You look like a little troll if you pick that one, and you'll get stung by a thousand bees.

To be fair, though, I would pick look weak and be strong. You'd rather look weak and be strong? Yeah, well, I mean, we saw you when you looked strong in that photo with your iPods in and everything. Oh, my God. Yeah, you like that? You like that? I'm sick of this life. I'm sick of this life. I can't fit through doors. I can't put my – I can't get my hand in anything because it's too big. I don't know what to do.

Charlie's always trying to get his hand in things and he just can't. He just can't get his hand anywhere. He can't open doors. I crush everything I hold. There was a good amount of Photoshop of you looking muscly too. Did you see them?

Yeah, that was really awesome that we asked for those on the podcast. I think that we should ask for more. I think actually we should ask for more. I think it would be really good if we had Charlie like, I want like the vainest, most bodybuilder kind of like, like, like.

Their bones are popping out, but they're also muscular and they're oiled. And I'm trying to put my hand in a pickle jar, but it won't get in. And if you could make Charlie... And instead of just, like, slapping Charlie's face there, if somebody out there could really make a realistic, like, actually blend Charlie's face in and make his face look oily and veiny too, I think I would be really happy with a piece of media such as that. How vascular are you guys? How vascular? Like, how much, like, are...

Shlatt's been doing this thing this whole podcast where he keeps trying to square up with nothing. Shlatt? What the hell is he doing? Oh, he's doing the... I think he's going into anaphylactic shock from all the bee stings. Have you ever done that before, Charlie, where you can make your face go red? Where you go like this? I think that would be a good way to end this podcast is if I pop a blood vessel. Oh, shit! He's vasqued! He's vasqued, bro!

I'm veining. I'm veining out. I'm blood. I'm blood. All right. Well, thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of the Chuckle Sandwich Podcast. Rated five stars on Apple Podcasts. Go give it. Yeah. Once. Maybe. Maybe. Yeah. Go give it a rating. But not anymore. Give us a like on the video if you're watching the YouTube video. And we'll catch you guys later next time.

Peace. Chuck, Chuck you later. Bye. See ya. See ya between the, between the bread again next week.