Michael Reeves' Unethical Video Ideas
01:29:33 Share

But now that we're at the end of the rope and everyone's like a little tired, and everyone's a little sleepy, right? A little sleepy, a little sleepy. A little sleepy, near the end, right? A little fucky. Maybe running out of like toppings to talk about a little bit. And maybe it's like way around your mind. You're saying it like you're so hopeful that it's like, yeah, you can go, you can go. Yeah, you're right. I'm really excited for this to just not go in a good way whatsoever. Maybe. Never anything. Welcome back to the Chuckle Sandwich Podcast. Today's a very, very, very, very...

Special day because we've got just do that to people that you ask for that Touched him on the knee You touched me on my thigh, but we were today is a very special day because we've got mr. Michael Reeves on the podcast today and

He's one of the mad scientists of YouTube. He throws up these every now and then, and he looks really, really cool today. He's wearing a beautiful green, leafy, leafy green Hawaiian shirt. For our audio listeners, love you to death. But welcome. Welcome, Michael Reeves, to the podcast. Yeah, thanks for having me on, man. You're very welcome. I have to say, Michael, it was quite the conundrum yesterday.

you to get on the podcast. Yeah. We had a Twitter probably the weirdest Twitter conversation. DM conversation. I pull that out right now and just yeah yeah read it out. It was like a fever dream. It's like we both had a fever dream at the same time. Yeah I think I wasn't sure if like every time you responded to me you

you were like half asleep or something. I usually am, yeah. But basically I said, hey, in July we'll be doing a week where we have people come on the Chuckle Sandwich podcast in person in a studio in LA. Dates would be July 12th to the 19th. Any interest in coming on during that period? And you replied with, ah shit, I didn't see this. How much longer are you around for? Pfft.

And so I replied, oh, I live in LA. I'm just asking if you want to come on for those dates at any point, really. And you said, ah, Rip, I'm busy for the next two days. Down if you want to do anything in the future, though. And then I replied, I said, yeah, that's no problem.

I'm asking about the July 12th to 19th period. I thought it was like two days from then. So I thought it was the same week. Yeah, and then you finally replied and you said, ah, I didn't read that shit. Lol, I'm mad. So it was like I was having that conversation with him. I think I sent it to either Slad or Charlie or something. I was like, am I?

Am I going crazy right now? It's like one of those things where you go in for the high five and both kind of miss and it's just very uncomfortable. Yeah, exactly. I was being viciously gaslit by Michael Reeves without any intention on his part whatsoever. Yeah. Are you like a little bit of like a manipulator? Sometimes I just be doing that shit. You know what I mean? Really? Just a little bit of gaslighting? Sometimes I'm just playing with other people's lives and shit. I like playing with people. Yeah.

I see that photo of Ninja with Travis Scott. He's doing this. Oh, Ted, I gotta show you this picture of Ninja, too. I showed it to them. Oh, really? Wait, you ever see this picture? Is that where? Where's the one that's like Ninja? I'm gonna get someone in prison. Oh, this one, oh! Right? You're gonna play with him? What the fuck? It does look like him. Yep, yep, looks normal, looks normal. That's totally Ninja. It's Ninja, right? Oh! Jesus Christ! What happened? It all went downhill. That looks impossibly real at the upside down version. Yeah.

Wow. Should we like explain that at all? So no. Okay. What's your favorite robot? Just like in the world? Yeah. I love robot dog. Robot dog. The Boston Dynamics. You have robot dog? I do. I have that. What does he do? He walks around and shit. Yeah. Well, Offline TV has one.

Offline, of course, offline TV's just got their own little robot butler. They got their robot dog, yeah, their little robot dog. Does he just walk around? If you want him to, yeah, you can make him. Can you have him just like walk around as a dog? Yeah. And just like walk and go upstairs and just go wherever? Yeah, as a dog, like in dog mode. Like you can have him automatically just do that? Yeah, you can map an environment with his software and he'll just like learn a path around a place and he'll just repeat it.

You can do different paths and stuff. Like a little Mario Kart. Yes, like a little Mario Kart. He does a little track. Does he charge himself or will he just... No, he'll just die. He'll just pass out at some point. It's actually much better. A Roomba knows how to charge itself. So you'd think that Boston Dynamics would figure out how to... You think they could figure that out? You know they only sold like a couple hundred of the dogs? That was like the most unprofitable thing a company has ever done was a fucking robot dog.

That shit made them zero dollars. Well, who wants it? No one fucking wants it. NYPD wanted one until they realized that the world really did not want the NYPD to have one. No, they did not, no. Robot police officers, not yet.

I'd say. Not yet. Probably not yet. But I mean, what are the practical uses of the dog or is it just doggy? It's like, I don't even think they knew. Is it just rich people shit? No, it was meant to be like an industrial thing you used to like check out like a hazardous like zone. Like if there's radiation. Oh no. You'd like send it with a camera and it would like look at you and the lure is like you can climb up stairs and shit, right? Not like wheels. Right.

Right. But it was like how many situations it was like, yeah, fucking radioactive in the factory, get the robot dog on the job, you know? Radioactive in the off-line TV house again. Gotta get the robot dog on. Get another leak. I have seen other Boston Dynamics robots that seem a little bit more suited. Like, for instance, there's that one that...

I don't know how it picks stuff up. Maybe it's suction or something. It's a suction bot. It's a suction bot? You mean the one on two wheels? Yeah, the one on two wheels that looks like a velociraptor. Had sex with a Segway, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little bit of Segway sexy. Sex in the Segway, yeah. Yeah, that one looks like Amazon would just buy a big one.

It was almost like TaylorMade for Amazon. That was like the one that actually makes money, but is significantly less badass. The amount of math in Robot Dog, it's like, that's super cool. And it's like their dream at Boston Dynamics, but then they're like, ah, make it pick up boxes for Amazon. I think that's sad. And do you have the extension to it where it's got the arm? Because have you seen those videos? Oh, I saw the arm. Yeah, the arm. It has this extra arm that lets it open doors and stuff. Third arm? Third arm. Whoa.

Put anything you want on that. Oh, off the dog? Off the top of the dog? Off the top of the dog. Yeah, wait, what do you mean third arm on a dog? How many arms does a dog have? Sorry, fifth arm, I guess it would be. Yeah. Well, that implies that a dog just has one arm. Well, snails just have one foot. Snails have one foot and one lung. Did you know that? Right. You know what a snail does when it gets cold, Michael Reeves? It's just a shrivel? No.

Oh, it's so much better. It does not shrivel. It does not shrivel. It retreats into its shell and creates what's called an epiphram, which is a mucus... Honestly, fuck this. You said that every single time. What's an epiphram? No, the snail makes like a mucus layer and then it can stay in its shell for just like two to four years. Charlie's been on sort of a discovery journey this entire week where he originally kind of came into the podcast claiming... A very short journey. I googled what snails do. Yeah. Claiming though that

At least for one podcast he claimed that snails fossilized themselves and then could un-fossilize themselves. Which is going into a rock form. It only sounds ridiculous when you pose it ridiculously. Because it's a fucking snail, right? It can do whatever the hell it wants. Without the context you'd be like, it just fossilizes itself and then when it's done... That makes no sense.

Fossilization is being encased in rock. Becoming rock. If you come back from that shit, you can't get out. Well, a fossil is where the rock fills in where the bones were. It's not even encased in rock. Oh, you're right. So it really made no sense. That's why I was having such a problem with it the whole time because you were like, fossil, it was a snail, and now it's a fossil.

Yeah. And what's your least favorite robot? Come on, Michael. What's your least favorite robot? Maybe even from experience. What's your least favorite thing a robot has done to you? What have the robots done to you? He's made robots that... Like, half his channel is just...

That's robots torturing him. That one, that was from a robot dog, cut my arm a little bit. That one was bad when it slipped in the beer. And it wasn't even the dog. It was like I cut off part of the oxygen tank, or not the oxygen, but like the pressure tank on top of it. And I was like, bolt cutters, this will leave a nice sharp edge for me to grab. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, I cut off one of the handles because I didn't want a big handle on there. It was like, blah.

I never sanded it down, so it was like little aluminum knives. Oh, Jesus. In hindsight, yeah, it was a bad idea. Have you ever in your life followed an OSHA guideline? What is that? I think that answers your question pretty well. I think that pretty much sums up my question. But, okay, so...

If you had to decide, because you've done a lot of different projects on your channel, a lot of them require you showing about three seconds of Raspberry Pi jargon. Yeah. Because maybe some people care about that, but most don't. Most don't. Yeah.

If you had to choose like a dream ridiculous project that you could do, but you don't necessarily have like the funds or like the robots. Yeah. Or the robots. Not enough robot dogs. Or the volume of robots to achieve it. Like what would it be? Yeah. A baby killing drone. And I like I had. Didn't we do that overseas? Oh, oh, they already did that. Obama. Obama. Obama. Obama.

- I already got to that one. - Joel Biden. - Sorry, man. It's a bummer. - I already got to that one. - We could still work on it. - We could still work on it. We could give it a try. That was more of an ethical dilemma. You ever play a game where it's like if you had no ethics, what videos would you make? I'd make a dog catapult for sure.

A dog catapult? Yeah. Imagine if it was okay to have no ethics, right? What videos would you make? It's a thought experiment. Mr. Beast would be killing whales. He'd be like, 100 whale kills a day.

He'd be like, "Whoever can kill the most whales gets a Tesla." I killed a hundred whales today! Yes. That would be sick-- I mean, not sick now, but like, if there were no ethics, that would be badass. Mr. Beast would be like harpooning shit. In this video, I gave a small country to the person who could make tigers that stink first. And then I covered it in three billion gallons of oil. Carl shot three elephants today!

And we gave him $5,000 for it. Each tusk you can bring back, you get a Tesla. Just poaching? Yeah, just poaching shit. He does like mystery boxes and it's just like dead. Another tusk? In my PO box, another tusk? God, I love tusks.

I love ivory so much. A dog and a catapult? This will be perfect for my ivory chess set. Oh, God. My ivory play button. I called Dream, and we sent 100 of his fans to a very dangerous coal mine.

There will not be a follow-up video. Oh man. Oh man, the world would be so much funnier if it was so much more wrong. It would. It really would. God, I love that game. Fuck. Dog catapult. We teamed up with Dream and mined real blood diamonds. I feel like you have a perfect situation for that to exist too because you could kind of, your thesis could be, I just fucking hate those little tiny small crust dogs.

And I want to launch them somewhere? The white- the shitty white dogs. You know the shitty, like, curly white dogs? The tiny, curly white dogs with the black shit in their eyes? Like the really tiny- What is that from? 'Cause I- you can clean that, right? Does anyone have a crust dog in here? Yeah, they need a crust dog. Well yeah, that's why they're called crust dogs.

It's yeast infections in their eyes. Yeast infections in their eyes. Why do they all get yeast infections in their eyes? Because they're shitty animals that have long hair and just are awful. Oh, wow. You'd be launching those, right? You wouldn't be launching those. I'd be launching full-sized dogs, I think. Like a golden retriever? Yeah. Like a St. Bernard? You're launching Bernie's mountain dogs? We're talking about the ethics are all out the window. And so are the dogs now. Are you launching Champ Biden? What?

Joe Biden, wake up. Joe Biden, wake up. I know they're going to... Oh, God. Maybe a cat launcher, then. Cats wouldn't be fun. They can always land on their feet. Oh, if we're thinking of the non-ethical thing, how do you make it so a cat doesn't always land on its feet? Oh, I guess, yeah. No, I already understand how this works. So if you were launching cats, you'd need...

You need traps. So you need spikes. You're so sure of this too. Like punji sticks? Punji sticks. Yeah, punji sticks. Diarrhea and all. Little piranhas. Like piranha plant. Venus fly trap. Yeah, right. Or a cat. Are you talking about like that kitty launcher?

Trampolines. He knows what I'm talking about. Sounds like a fucking- He knows what I'm- Little balloon, yeah. Yeah, sometimes you have a little torpedo in the air with balloons attached to it. Yeah, a little torpedo in the air. Just see how far you can get that bad boy. Yeah, how far you can get the kid like- You gotta launch at a 45, what angle did you launch that shit at? I was doing always like maybe a 43, maybe a 40 sometimes. 43, okay. It gave me a little more chance. 46 if you wanna go high. Yeah, I think that's one I think. We're talking about Kitten Cannon. Yeah, we play Kitten Cannon. There's an old Flash game. Yeah.

Yeah. Kitten Cannon in Real Life would be the name of the video. Yeah. It'd be Kitten Cannon in Real Life. Kitten Cannon in Real Life. And then basically, I already have the thumbnail. Yeah. It's the kitten being launched into the air. Yeah. And then you going... Bright blue sky behind it and then Michael Reeves...

And then a red arrow pointing to the kid. Yeah. And also another red arrow pointing the direction and trajectory it's going. Oh my God. Which is up towards the sun, the skies and blue sky. Yes. Could you imagine what Mark Rober would do with that? I was literally about to mention that. Could you imagine? Today, we're going to kill squirrels. Yeah. But I'm going to tell you how we kill squirrels. What's the fat one's name? Think about this. It's the whole video. Everything about it is correct. But at the end,

when he has that little thing where the nuts are, it's a trap door below a blender. Jesus. And then it falls down and the fucking Mark Ruber music starts playing. I'm just picturing. Yeah. It's Mark just like. I'm picturing.

I was just picturing you. I got my nephew to try it too. Oh, God. Oh, God. Maybe an elephant toothpaste but has a little bit of the robor acid in it. So it's just like- I used elephant toothpaste to kill real elephants. Oh, yeah. That's good. I put elephant toothpaste in the stomach of an elephant and made it explode from the inside out. Yeah. You know, he recently did that video with the GoPros, one shark versus 50 GoPros. Yeah. With Noah Schnapp. One schnark. One schnark.

One shark versus one bleeding child. One shark. He would probably do that. He'd probably have a little camera set up, a little sensor. And also the GoPros behind him. He would love it. But if you could clickbait the bleeding child. You know that's swimming around in his head for sure. You know he's thinking about that. I think that the Olympics would be a little bit more impressive if we just cut a little thing in the foot of every Olympian and then we started putting sharks behind them.

What? Like in the 100 meter swim thing? Olympic pool? Saltwater pool this time. All the swimmers would die. Put sharks behind them, cut their foot. They would all die. How fast can they get to the other side? Probably not faster than a shark. Well, we'd have to evolve. What would we evolve? To get faster than the sharks. Maybe like we'll get webbed feet.

You're gonna say something Charlie I was gonna say if you see from not like all the people that breed are the ones that don't get killed by sharks The there's a movie takes place in Florida of course. It's like the Gator one like the Gator horror movie Where the lady is like trapped in a house with a bunch of Gators because it's flooding and also those get it's called crawl Yeah, crawls what's called mmm and the whole thing is that she's a swimmer and she's the her dad's like you're the apex predator and she needs to like out swim a gator yeah, yeah and

Does she? Is it a horror movie? It's like a horror movie. Yeah, it's like a gator horror movie. So, like, the whole house is flooded. She's, like, peering around. Did you see, like, a fucking gator slide down the stairs? Huh? How did the house get flooded? It was, like, a fucking storm. Yeah, the gators are just waiting, man. The gators are just waiting. Oh, okay. Yeah. Except. They're here before us. They're going to be here long after we're gone, you know? Yeah. Do you think Boston Dynamics is working with the government?

Do you think they put a gun on that suction cup? On the little suction cup guy? They probably put it on the dog. They probably put it on the dog. If I were working there, I would have put it on the dog. I would have just taken one home and put one on the dog. Literally, those things could absolutely... What's their weight limit? 15 kilograms.

That's a lot. How many pounds is that? Actually, I had this exact conversation with- Can you tell me that in American? Kevin from Backyard Scientist told me, he did the math, he said, that's a fully loaded M60 with a thousand rounds of ammunition that we could put on it. I don't know why he looked it up. Well, that's actually perfect that you say that. How many pounds is that? Some like 30 plus. I just asked that same sentence, but it came out of my mouth. That's like a fully loaded M16 with a thousand rounds. 15 kilograms? Yeah.

You're gonna say it in the mic. 32. 33.0693. Very, very close. 33 pounds. You said that like you were like Siri or something. That won't fit an M60 in 1,000 rounds. That's what Kevin... Well, he did the math. You take that out with backyard science. He's in the backyard. You take that out with backyard science. 1,000...

Rands of amp you can't even find a thousand rounds of that. I guess yeah He does the podcast with William right? He does yeah, that's I was on it, and I was like oh really yeah We had this exact same question. Yeah, I was like oh That's good knowledge that I'll never use again, and I just did though you could put like spinning blades on it You probably could yeah, you could it sounds like he did the math he did and why you can't put an m60

machine gun in a thousand rounds on a fucking... It's not 30 pounds, bro. Those things aren't meant to carry weight. They've got motors...

They've got mines. Electricity in there? They've got data. They've got lots of data. Maybe the one, you know the one they torture with the hockey stick? Maybe that's the one that they can put an M60 on. Oh, like that. That's the one that's grown stronger from his pain, right? Yeah. Was that the one that led, that's the test one that led into the... The full ones? Into the one you...

Yeah, those are like the test ones. Dude, I went to that parking lot in Boston where they like beat the shit out of them. It was like, oh my God, horrible things have happened here. I knew it. This is where the robot uprising will start. That's such a classic joke too to make about Boston Dynamics. I feel like that's such an overdone joke. It's like, oh, here comes the robot thing, but like...

Yeah, it is like let's and also let's not they're the only ones doing that cool shit Let's not beat around the bush here those robots can go a lot faster Then they're saying haven't you seen the video have you seen the the video from Boston dynamics of all those robots dancing? Yeah, have you seen because there's one that can there's there's one robot that can do backflips

Right after they kill There's one stand on two legs and it can do Atlas is a guy Allison so flat

Put an M60 in that thing's hands with a thousand rounds. Why is that so hard to believe? You were talking about the dog! I'm now talking about something twice as big as the dog. I literally just said it could go on that guy. The dog's fucking big. That guy can take it. That guy can hold that gun. How big is the dog in the robot? The dog's bigger than you. It's like a golden retriever. Is it really? It's not like a halfling dog. It's like a full ass... A halfling dog? It'll go up your hips and shit. It's way bigger than you think. Oh shit. It's terrifying. What's your...

What's your main go-to character set up in D&D? What the fuck was that? We're having a good conversation. Isn't Halfling part of that? Halfling's like a D&D race. I don't know if that was... I thought he was making reference to that. I think he might have just been saying a small thought. I learned about D&D like a couple days ago. We did it. I'm trying to get it in as much as you can. I'm trying to get it in. Also because Charlie knows a lot about that. You ever like rolling dice while you're doing the robot stuff? You're like rolling dice for Dungeons & Dragons? Yeah, sometimes I'm doing an Artificer Rogue game.

sometimes in it yeah is it true so that sounds like something that I know that's real that's absolutely real yeah that's real you clearly oh why did you give me so much silence then don't you have D&D before there's like an offline TV yeah I played wait so you've played D&D yeah right I think the more the problem was that it was like on the robot dog and then it went D&D you're right but yeah but the answer is yeah I played D&D do you play D&D

Once I uh for this week For this idea I DM them a little like sandwich themed adventure. I have a D&D podcast ordinarily That was a bit of an ADHD moment on my part and I'll admit it and I'll admit it to all the all the audience members out there I fucked up Michael. What's your political leaning?

And how strongly? And how strongly are you willing to defend it right now? To the death. I just want to rank religions. How do we challenge it? You just want to rank religions? It was okay. It did like some crusades. The crusades kind of failed though. Like we got to admit about that. We sent kids. Got to admit about that, yeah. Kids got on a boat and then they went to the Holy Land. They just like got on the wrong boat. Just decimated, yeah. And then they got sold into child slavery. Number two is...

Islam. It's a very interesting story. I'm not going to say anything. So that was kind of your only... Yeah, I think the only one I was able to touch was Catholicism. I can only touch Catholicism. So we leave it there? Yeah, we leave it exactly right there. Yeah, we can pick up some other point. You ever consider being an altar boy?

I actually almost was. Really? Yeah, for real, for real. Yeah, I was raised religious. Really? And I'm not anymore. What religion? Like Christian or Catholic. Which type? I honestly understand if you don't remember. I had the same situation. I don't fucking know. I don't fucking know. Yeah, one of those two. And then I was like, I was like in the Sunday school and they were like, you want to be an altar boy? I was like, no.

What does an altar boy do? They bring the things. They bring the stuff. Yeah, like when the priest is like, beckon me my smoke chain. Give me the little bread of God. The smoke mace. Yeah, the bread and shit. The body. Yeah, the body. The body and the blood. Yeah, that shit was banging, man. You can just buy. Yeah, you can just

You can just buy the wafers. You can just buy the body of Christ? Yeah, you can buy the, well, it's not the, it's just the wafers. Oh, does he make, they make it the body of Christ? It becomes the body when the priest blesses it. Yeah. Yeah. So when he says it is. I ate those things up when I was a kid. They're great. Very fun. Continue? I was just, I was almost an altar boy. And now I'm not. And I never was. Never was. Yeah. Were you? No. Yeah.

I lucked out. Yeah, we all lucked out. We had CCD, which you had to go to on Wednesdays. Yeah. What's CC? I don't know. CCD. You just had to go there to the church every Wednesday at the school. Oh, right. To learn about. I've been to that. And my parents would pick me up. To get confirmed. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. To learn about what? But it was like all through school. Yeah. It sucked. It sucked.

And you would sometimes see people from school there and then like- No, I went to a different parish, so I didn't know anybody. I was just the odd man out. Everyone else that I went to school with went to this other Catholic church. Is it public where you're from? Because like, were you from an area that was like mainly Catholic? Well, uh-

I think it's because my mom was Filipino and it's like 95% of Filipinos are Catholic. Yeah, something like that. Then you come home, it'd be dark. It's just such a waste, such a fucking waste. I'd come home and my mom would just be like, hey, honey, what'd you learn about Jesus? Yeah. I don't fucking know. Jesus, something like that. Right. I used to go in church. I'd have to go, but then I'd be like, hey, mom, I need shit. Yeah.

Right at the beginning of the sermon. And then you would just kind of sneak away. Yeah, and the bathrooms were outside. They were outdoor bathrooms, so I would just lie down in the field next to the bathroom for like 45 minutes and come back and I was like, great shit. Thanks, Mom. And then this is the last 10 minutes of the podcast. It was a podcast? It was a podcast. It was a Jesus podcast. There's a fucking Joe Rogan up on the podium. The CCD podcast. Holy shit. Yeah. So you shirked.

I shirked my religious duty. I sure did. I did. So tell me what hell's like. Tell me what hell's going to be like. What do you think that's like? A green field with some nice clouds, I guess, next to some bathrooms. Like Windows XP. That's sweet. Bliss. Yeah, it was blissful. It was actually quite nice. What was your favorite Windows XP wallpaper?

I think that guy got paid like $150,000 for that photo. Really? I think the guy who did the... I think that's the most money that's ever been paid for a single photo is the guy who did the bliss. But the guy who did the...

one that's the autumn like the walk oh the autumn one got paid like 50 bucks oh bummer doesn't that suck that does suck how much do you think those like when you boot up photoshop or premiere one of those oh those like sample images yeah the sample images yeah would you would you look up how much the um the bliss photographer got paid for

100,000. Wow. Yeah. Holy fuck. He was just like, those are nice hills. 45 for the automobile. $45. Yeah. Oh. That's loud. 45 versus $100,000. Those were good hills. Those were good hills, though, guys. I don't know. My favorite one is the dog. That brown photo. What? The dog? The brown dog? Or the fish. You said the dog, and then you said the brown photo. Yeah, well, it's like tinted brown, the whole thing. And I think it's called friend or buddy.

- Friend? - I think buddy probably might be it. - I think it's friend. - Really? - Yeah. - Friend? - There was also the one with the fish. - It's like a caveman's understanding of what a dog is. - Friend. - Friend. - I see friend. - Isn't it crazy that we manage dogs

How'd we figure that out? Oh, like getting wolves to go to dogs? To turn to dogs? Like domesticating? Yeah. Yeah, that is fucking nuts. What a complicated process. Yeah, bro. You can't imagine that when they first figured that out, that like, oh, this thing will... They knew what they were doing. We'll be a Pomeranian someday. Yeah, exactly. They didn't have to be like, someday, this thing will fucking...

Be the size of a football. So I've got a funny fucking story about that. Charlie! That's me! Hey, Ted! I'm excited. I'm from Vermont, and I was walking around town in like a pretty, I don't remember where we were. We were traveling somewhere. It was pretty woodsy. And we ran into some nice woman with her really big husky.

And I was like, oh, this dog's awesome. I was like petting it. I was like, it's got such like a big head. Oh my gosh. Yeah, we walked away. And the whole time my girlfriend was like, what the fuck? And I was like, that was an awesome dog. Can I get one of those? And she was like, no, that was a fucking wolf. So it was just like literally this person had like a wolf dog.

Yeah, sometimes you can. But I didn't realize. I just thought it was a husky with a big fucking head. It might have been like a half and half, like a husky and a wolf. It was probably a half and half, and also probably not legal as well. Yeah, those are a thing that are pretty common, I feel like, or as common as you'd imagine you can get a wolf to fuck a husky, but...

I don't know. How do you think it originally happened? Like, it was probably like eating food at a campfire and then wolves were just hungry and came by, right? That's like what it was. All it took was one moment. All it took was one moment of bravery from one dog. You ever wonder what like that one time was in like history? Because there was definitely one time that that shit happened, you know? And it's like, where was it? And the human was just like,

I get- Oh, what the fuck? Yeah. Jesus. It comes up to him and it's already like wagging its tail. What the hell is this? Fucking Pomeranian. Here's like a question that I feel like would even contextualize this more. You guys think you could take a wolf? Yes. I think I could kill a wolf. Yeah. Without a knife. Maybe. Oh, maybe not. One wolf?

There's not a single situation where I would not have a pack. I could not deal with a pack of wolves. Not at all. No, they are fucking scary. Yeah, a pack would tear anyone apart. A pack would fuck you up. One wolf? But maybe I could deal with one wolf. I think as soon as it becomes two. The difference between one to two is gigantic. Now, let me contextualize that again. Have you ever run into an angry dog?

- Yeah. - Yeah. - Like, imagine a pit bull coming at you. - Yes. - Still a while away from a wolf, but I guess I'd kick it. - But like, that'd be freaky. - Yeah. - That would be freaky. - It would be freaky. - I think you could do it though. I think you could do it.

Yeah, it's cool. Some people could do it. What's poppin', Chuckle Sandwich fans? Would you be interested in winning a custom Tesla Model S Plaid while simultaneously supporting a great cause? Well, thanks to our friends at Omaze, you may have a chance to. The future is here, and you're in the driver's seat, baby. Be among the first to own a Tesla Model S Plaid.

The fastest and most advanced production car ever made. With nearly a 400 mile range, you're completely road trip ready. In a hurry? Don't worry, because you've got a 1020 horsepower electric engine on your side that can go a quarter mile in under 10 seconds. Nothing can stop you now.

Not even the government. The charity that Omaze is supporting through this is called Reverb. Reverb partners with musicians, festivals, and venues to green their concerts while engaging fans face-to-face at shows to take environmental and social action. Their work makes a real positive impact on the environment,

including the elimination of 3 million plus single-use plastic water bottles at concerts, supporting 2,000 family farmers, elevating the work of 4,000 local and national non-profits, and eliminating over 180,000 tons of CO2 through their Music Climate Revolution campaign.

To potentially win this Tesla Model S Plaid and support a great cause, go to omaze.com slash chucklesandwich. Once again, that's omaze.com slash chucklesandwich. Now let's get back to the episode. I got a thought. Put this in your pipe and smoke it. We've made dogs into pussies, but cats have stayed the same. Cats still have humans at every beck and call like they did back in Egypt.

The cats were were glorified and everybody took care of them and they still do but dogs used to be wolves Well they used to be dogs used to be wolves and now they are little tiny Chihuahuas that get yeast infections in their eyes and black shit, and if you change their kibble they will they need to go to the doctor They will start shitting

Well, that's mostly because the kibble that most companies make for dogs are actually not really good for them. Like, they'll kill them earlier. Well, that's, well, I mean, we made them into pussies. Wait, Matt, I'm a stove? Yeah, I wonder why that is. I will say, though, that we went, like, the Egyptians worshipped cats, though. Like, we talk about right now how cats are fucking assholes. But in their society, that would be like,

You're getting killed. You're going in the volcano. You're going in the place of the volcano at the top of the pyramid. Yeah, the Egyptian volcano. I think you're conflating the Mayans and the Egyptians right now. You're going into the volcano on the Sphinx. That's about it. You're going into the magma pit. The royal magma or the pharaoh's nice magma pit. You're going into the river of mercury.

What? Going to the mummy zone. Wasn't there a pharaoh who drank mercury and then they buried him with rivers of mercury? Sounds fucking stupid, bro. Did they have mercury back then? Yeah. Liquid mercury. That's a pretty random one, but hopefully you'll be able to get some. Pharaoh drank mercury. Google that. Qi Huang drank mercury thinking it would give him eternal life.

Did not. No. No. Very dead. Shorten the life a lot. Where do you even get mercury from? That's a question for you. I would honestly, that doesn't sound stupid. That doesn't sound stupid at all, especially from back then. It's like, have you ever seen like held mercury? Yeah, it's like what the hell is this? It's like magic. Yeah, it's like a liquid that is metal and moves and it's heavy as fuck. It's crazy.

How heavy is it? Is it just really dense? It is way denser than like steel. So if you have a pool of mercury, you can drop a steel cube in it and it'll float to the top. Whoa, that's cool. It's fucking insane. Yeah, so I completely understand why it's like, yeah, that gives me eternal life for sure. I would have drank that shit a mile long ago. Oh yeah, that shit looks like fucking... Yeah, it's like what the... Something you put in your pipe and smoke. Yeah, oh, for sure. Yeah, and that's the eternal life moment.

But mercury is incredibly toxic. Insanely, yeah. If you touch it, right, that's still bad? I think you die if you touch it, I think. I don't know. You die if you touch it? How did this fucker get away with drinking it? I think, right? I don't think he got away with it. This isn't Scooby-Doo. Oh, if you touch it, a small amount may pass through your skin, but not usually enough to harm you. It's harmful when you breathe in the vapors.

Oh, so you can- Okay, so no vaping. Don't vape mercury. Put this in my jewel. You got your mercury cart with you today? Could I- Pharaoh's jewel. Yo, this is 60 merc. I don't know if I can go that high, dude. But yeah, I mean, we do treat cats. I mean, the consensus with the people who are like, yeah, cats are assholes,

They all like have cats. I think Jambo, I got a beautiful cat named Jambo, very handsome, very polite. So, such a polite guy. I saw him in a viral Twitter meme. That had like- An hour and a half ago. Yeah, it had like, it was just some random person, didn't follow me, had no fucking clue who I was, made a meme with like a little Wojak being like, one second, oh, life sucks, I hate everything. We're on a ball floating in space.

Next second and then the Wojak's all happy and he goes oh look at cat and it's just my fucking cat There's a picture of my cat cut out against the white back 25k like yeah 130,000 likes and I responded that's literally my cat. That's nice Yeah, my cats had told me to do that was like that was reply. That's Literally my cat yeah, and I did yeah got a lot of oh yeah when

It's funny because a lot of people on Twitter think that they know who's writing the tweets because it comes from a person. But I've learned something very specific about being pretty much the sole runner of the Chuckle Sandwich Twitter account. That's probably a big one. That's probably a big one for everyone. I think you've posted one tweet, Charlie. Is that true? Yeah. But-

lot of the times when people I'll reply to people and I'll kind of just choose a personality of like Kated like words that I want to say to someone so I can just say something really really aggressive and People are just gonna immediately think hey slash. Yeah Aggressive and simply put then it's flat. Yeah for Charlie. I

Um, Charlie's a little bit harder to like nail down because, but I think that if it was like, if I do like a pun or if I do like, it's gotta be like the base reasons why, like what people know them of. So like if I, if I say something that's like really well worded in like a very smart way, it's going to be Charlie for sure. Um, thank you, man.

And with me, it's just kind of, I don't know, I say like fucking stupid shit, I guess. You get a little bit of aggression. I got a little bit of aggression, but like also just like garbage. How would you describe yourself, Michael Reeves? What would a caricature of yourself be like? A little quirky, silly guy. A little quirky, silly guy, yeah. What would a caricature of yourself make as a robot?

Probably dog catapult. That's pretty fair. Why a dog catapult? You just think it'd be funny to see them screeching across the sky? I don't know. It's more like the... It's like how YouTubers are like, I made this stupid thing. And it's like, yeah, I made dog catapult today. If we hadn't domesticated dogs way back when, we'd definitely domesticate them with the dog catapult through...

They'd learn a fucking lesson. Yeah, they'd turn into a chihuahua like an animorph. In one generate the same animal. You gotta pull a wolf and it lands a chihuahua. I wonder what cats would look like if we did the whole selective breeding thing with them. That was a good point how cats look the same. I think it's because they didn't get like

Because it was a fad with eugenics in like the 1900s, right? Did they though? No, we kind of have. I mean, you've got like Siamese cats. You've got- Sort of. They're very beautiful. Cats got beautiful. Cats got beautiful. You've got the flat faced cats. But like a fucking pug dude? Jesus Christ. Grumpy cat. There's grumpy cat. That's like a pug of cats. Alpharad's cat also has its face- Smushed. Smushed. A lot of the designer cats. See, what a lot of people do is they buy cats instead of adopting, which is terrible. Because they want to pee. Awful thing to do.

- Yeah. - That's on God, that one. - We're waiting with bated breaths. - I just adopted mine and the thing I love about Jambo is that he's just a regular orange cat. - It wasn't like $35? - No, they waived it because he had ringworm and I took care of him. - Oh, and you got rid of that stuff.

- Very nice. - I wanna meet Jambo. - Yeah. - Are you a, this may be a ridiculous fucking question given that you have said dog catapult. Are you a dog person or a cat person? - I like both. - Really? - Very nice. - Would you make a catapult? - A little catapult? That's a little too on the nose. - It's like that taco show commercial. Why not both? - Yeah, Porky Nolo's dog and cat-apult.

Yeah, nice nice if I could make videos with no ethics. I'd play more Jack bucks Jesus Christ God damn Just you'd probably just keep doing what you're doing now

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Charles. Oh, I was just going to say, it's like, it's a, it's maybe a more difficult thought experience experiment for us. Cause we're fucking like gamers. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. It's more racism. I'd game, but this time racially. Yeah. Right. Like, I don't know. Um, when we were, Oh no, sorry. You go ahead. Um, when we were doing the D and D thing,

We actually had a character named Keith, and one of his main things was...

was that he was just really racist. I gotta contextualize. We didn't really specify. It was just that he kept saying that he was racist. He's like, hey, I'm Keith and I'm a racist. You told me your fucking backstory and you were like, yeah, I went to culinary school with fucking Keith. Because I was a tiefling, so I was like a demon guy. Keith didn't need to be racist because Keith already killed

cooked and served you your mom to eat. Right? And then like in a foot... You were like, that's not bad enough. Also, he's racist. Well, he was racist because he framed me for the death of my own mom and caused me to get disowned. And then he was like, of course, the dirty demon would kill his own... ate his own mom. And I was like, Keith, that's a little bit racist. Yeah, Keith's like, if I could make one wish, I'd make everyone fucking racist. I'm going to be racist as a dad and keep the racist. Use wish. And then Charlie kind of took that one line of just me saying...

low-key a little racist, I think, in the description. I did. I ran with it so hard. He fucking came out of the shadows, I'm gonna cook you into a fucking steak and then I'm gonna be racist about it. What does that even mean? You blinded him and I was like, what color is it? And you were like, black. I was like, ah! Fuck. Oh, because he's racist. He's so, so racist. Oh. Yeah, that was awesome. And we defeated racism in the end.

Yeah. No. Well, I wished Keith. We just got one of them. We just got Keith. You wished for Keith to be gone, not racism. We defeated one instance of racism. Yes. You did. Yeah, Keith's wish would have been to make everyone racist, which I thought about afterwards, and I was like, what? And that's kind of like unifying everyone in a way. What would that, right? Yeah. Every single person racist would not just be, I don't care what race you are as long as you're racist with me.

Well, here's the thing. If ever it would have to be. The only way it would be unifying is if everyone's racist, like against like themselves themselves. Yeah, I guess. But like everyone's in check or everyone's racist against every single other person. Like if it was like it because if they were one specific type of racism, then that would just be just straight up societal oppression. Yeah.

Still I guess yeah, that's pretty true. It'd just be general like everyone's racist. I

Yeah. So it is, like, is this a thought experiment that you and these other tech guys do a lot? It's like, what would we just do if no one, like... I did it with Will sometimes. With Will, yeah. Frequently. Like, should we be worried? From time to time, we'd think about it and be like, whale boat. Whale boat. Harpoon. Again, back to whaling. I gave 10 strangers 100 harpoons and told them to get as many whales as they could find. God, that is sweet.

For $100,000. That's good. Yeah. What other crimes would you try to commit? Any you really want to do or maybe you've already done? Maybe ones that you don't have double jeopardy. Yeah. None I can say out loud. Double jeopardy? Can you say them really quietly? Silently. Right into the mic. Never mind. Okay.

No, no, not really no none that I'm not planning would you commit adultery? No, God no the greatest racism of all would you? Say the Lord's name in vain God. Oh Michael Jesus Christ Holy shit guys Oh Ted be careful

Now wait just a goddamn- NOOOOO! OHHHH! It's his light, it's come to take us! For our audio listeners, love you to death. Boraf just made lightning strike in the studio. Boraf just called God into the studio. It's rapture. I'm not ready to go by the- to the lawn next to the bathroom. No! Turn the lawn! Is it like the completely in-sync yell? Oh god.

You guys, you say you're gamers. What are you guys gaming nowadays? I feel like it's kind of getting staggered. I've been playing a lot of Smash lately. I've gotten really into Smash. I've been trying to get better at Smash. Who's your main? I've been teaching him. Me and my girlfriend, we've been playing a lot because my buddy from my childhood friend is coming and visiting with his wife and they, I've been basically telling Tucker because we used to play Smash all the time that I'm going to get my girlfriend to the point where she can kick his ass because I think that's hilarious. Mm-hmm.

And so he's been practicing. And then her and I, whenever she's over, we just play Smash the whole time, basically. And then Charlie came over. And he is, like... I felt like I was kind of okay at Smash. But then, like, imagine Charlie walking in, and he's just this fucking behemoth. This demon. This fucking...

Destructor destroyer of all time he fucking broke my timeline in half fucking Built it back together him into a pretzel Wow, but Charlie's really good and he's taught me some new things I think I've elevated a little bit in like last couple days. He's been playing Captain Falcon That's my main really He taught me how to do like a jump and then and then

Back air like that like a running and then reverse yeah the reverse yeah, and like I'm great I mostly spent my time on the ground mostly and the air games huge on file And I had to learn how one of the things about smash that's really hard that I've learned is how to do the half jump It's like a little half press you have to press the button really fucking fast short on fastball. Yeah, so that doesn't really matter

I mean Kirby. Yeah? What's your favorite move? Down B. That's crazy. I go up. I come down. I feel like if you go the higher you go.

If you fall down, it does more damage. We've talked about this. There's like the gravity bonus, you know what I mean? Like when you start playing Smash, you're like, I'm going to get so fucking high. You reach terminal velocity. Well, I think when you get that high too, people kind of forget about you up there too, especially if you're playing on a map like Temple. Yeah. I only watch him when we play, and I'm just like, do it. You're waiting for him to go. And it's the only thing I do.

It's the best. It's a good experience. So I'm just flying around. And, I mean, it works because no one chases me because they can't jump like seven times. Yeah, they can't go up. I mean, you can't catch Kirby. But I know he's coming down. But I got to come down. And I know how. Yeah. Another game that at least I played on one instance, but we should definitely play more, and Schlack got me into it was...

DayZ. Oh, yeah. Really? Weirdly enough. Oh, DayZ. DayZ. In this day and age? Oh, yeah. Yeah, because there's this new map. Though, actually, honestly, you could talk about this. Bunch of new fucking maps. There's Namalsk.

which is, well, Daisy, those of you who don't know, it's a survival game. You basically just run around. There's some zombies. There's some real players. It used to be a mod for armor. Yeah, it used to be a mod for armor that they turn into a full game. And there's loot around. Basically, you spawn. You're almost dead already. Got to find food. Got to find... Yeah, you're cold. Got to find clothing, all that shit. And then...

There's zombies, but there's also other people and you don't know exactly what the vibe is with them. And be careful, you can talk to them. Yeah, people are the real monsters. That's what I'm saying. You got to make them naked. Anyways. And we'll get to that in a second. We'll get to that in a second. But yeah, I mean, fuck, man. I've been playing DayZ since the standalone came out. I have over a thousand hours on it. It's my most played game on Steam besides Sakura Beach.

Yeah, and Shalai got me into this new map that's in Amalus where it's just super cold there and stuff. It's in the tundra of Russia. Oh, yeah. It's literally... I spent the first 10 hours learning how to survive, pretty much. Yeah. All the food is frozen. You have to spend time at fires to thaw the food down and also warm yourself up. It's really hard at first, but then once you get the hang of it, it's actually not that much harder than normal Daisy. And it's cool because it's a small island. And the thing that kind of sucked about the original Daisy is that you've got this map Chernus, which is...

It's basically a running simulator. Huge. Yeah. It's like 15 minutes running between each town. Yeah. Between anything. Yeah, it would take you literally a full day to run from one side of the map to the other. My God. That's disgusting. Have you guys heard Rust at all?

- Any Russ Christian shit? - I hate it. - Really, you hate it? - No. - It's so violent. - I've never really gotten a chance to properly get into Russ, 'cause I have no one to play with. - I tried to do a little Russ role play, kinda serve with my friends. I was having a lot of fun. I was running around naked with a rock. We found an NPC with a gun,

And I had one of my friends and I, we'd basically go to one side of the Jeep, hit him with a rock, run away. Distract him. The other one would come up and hit him with a rock. We just kept doing that. The rock society. And he didn't drop a fucking gun. They never do. No, and I was like, I didn't know that. And then some dudes just rolled in and killed us. That's how it is. Yeah, I don't know, man. It's always tough for me because I want those games to be a cool social experience. When I booted up, I wanted it to be a cool social experience. But I'm not...

Good enough to justify not just being immediately shot in the fucking head. It's probably one of the more violent games I ever played. Like, in terms of other players, they'll just run up on you and blam you in the head. Blam you to death on the ground. Say slurs at you. It's the classic experience. It is. I have the same kind of thing in, like, have you ever played Sea of Thieves? See if these nuts fit in your mouth? I didn't mean to play that.

Holy shit. How did you walk into that? You were the one who wanted to talk about it. Yeah, I just posed. Sorry, yeah. It was just really just a question. What just happened? Anyways. I've actually never played. No, he was talking about... The pirate game? The pirate game. Pirate these... I don't know. Pirate game. Pirate game. The pirate game. I'm not going to say. Do you know it? Do you know it? So, Michael. The game about thieves? There's something. Zombie Apocalypse.

I have a colony. Whenever you go out or into my walled city, I inspect you. I take all of your clothes off. Okay. This allows me to check for weaponry, and it allows me to check for bite marks. Okay. Why is this not foolproof? Because you don't have a TSA scanner. No, you don't need a fucking TSA scanner. All you need is me, and I'm doing the checks. What if you die?

My right hand man takes over. Who's that? I don't know. Is that Michael Reeves? Are you interested? Because in the zombie apocalypse, right? Right. The threat is the zombies, right? Obviously. But you have a wall, so that's fine. Right. You have people manning the wall. Big wall. Big wall. So the other threat, which has historically been the case in every single zombie film, is the other people. Yeah, a bit. Because the people are the real monsters. Right.

You check in at the gate you say no weapons. No bites. No clothes No, well you can put the clothes back on if you want to but you have to strip down and I will look at you from top to bottom right? Okay, this way you have no weapons this way you have no bites. Okay, and then you can live and what are you gonna do?

I feel like this works. I feel like this works. Oh, you're vindicating like your theory of this is how you check, right? This is how I check. Now, if he was in a prison situation... Well, let's start here first, then we can talk about prison.

We did talk about this with Ludwig and Ethan though. We don't need to talk about this with such a- Well then I gotta hear about it though. Well would it work? Do you think that's a good idea? Like it would prevent- Strip him at the door. The zombie apocalypse- It wouldn't prevent it, no. Well from getting into your walls. It would prevent our fucking people from having any issues. And hiding bites. You can't hide a bite and you can't bring a weapon in that would harm anybody. What if they could make it up, right? They could do a little makeup job on it?

Where? Who are you calling to? You could color the gun flesh and tape it to you? Is that what you're saying? No, no, I meant the bite, not the gun.

The AR-15. You fucking concealed carry indeed, yeah. Wow. Are you going to hire a makeup artist to cover up the zombie apocalypse? That's pretty smart. Especially if you're dealing with stupid people. No. You wash it off. Hose. It becomes foolproof. Hose becomes foolproof. So you just hose people down. So it's an actual prison. If it's a zombie apocalypse, why don't... And this is going off of Charlie's point.

Why wouldn't you just like kill someone who's a bad guy and you take this and then you take their skin you don't make it look like skin you

Put, make an AR. What do you mean this is going over? Covered in human skin. And then it's sort of easier to pretend like that. This would never happen. Why would this never happen? This would never happen. Why would this never happen? Because it's just, it's honestly, it's bullshit. Michael, is this a video you'd be interested in doing? Yeah, the skin AR. The skin AR. Yeah. Honestly, Ted, that would never fucking happen.

You're such an angry little elf. Little flush AR. It wouldn't. I'm just saying, in the zombie apocalypse, that shit would not happen. Now, that is not the Christmas spirit we were looking for. I'm just saying it wouldn't happen. Do you think that would happen? What about prison? You could get a prison. Yeah, and then Schlatt's saying that if he were to get a prison, like, I was the one who posited the idea of the prison. I think it would be very good because of the 50s walls, watchtowers, yada, yada, yada. Great area for...

Recreation. You have weapon, you have an armory. Maybe. I think it's a great idea. But- No one can find the armory because it just looks like flesh. The way that Flat and the rest of the group sort of depart is where he talks about capturing zombies and putting them in jail cells and then- Playing with them. Like dogs? Well, like any way you want to. Maybe not the way you play with dogs. I'm just saying-

I feel like I'm a fucking broken record at this point. You are. Because I've said it three times now. I've had to explain this. Well, I gotta hear it. You put the zombie in the cage. What's it gonna do? You can fucking play with it. Yeah.

You can fucking do whatever you want. You can run experiments and shit. Tomorrow, the Tomorrow War with Chris Pratt. They tie that female fuck up and they just run tests on it. Find that 100% bond. You can play with it a little bit. Have you seen the Tomorrow War? No, I haven't. On Amazon Prime? I watched the first bit. I watched the first chunk. That's such a badass movie. I love that fucking movie. You like that? We talked about it on the Ethan...

Crank Gameplays episode and then Charlie got inspired and we really wanted to watch it so I was like, I'll watch it again with you, man. I will say, the first, it's all really downhill after it. I mean, it's a stupid movie, right? But it's so much fun to watch. It gets really stupid at the end. It's so much fun. Well, I kept asking questions and you were like, no, no,

Because I wanted you to experience it yourself. Oh, and I was. The actual reveal for the monster. Very good. Absolutely loved it. It was fucking phenomenal. It was so good. And then after that, it's kind of like the alien aliens effect where they show the monster, okay, they've kind of

Yeah, there's not much you can really do. You've blown your load. Yeah, you've blown your load. Let's throw more at them, I guess. And then it's like the horror thing where you do one horror movie and you set one in the same universe and now it's action. Because how do you keep the tension, keep the stakes and people actually know what it is? Yeah, that's kind of the...

Yeah, I think that... But within one movie. Right, they just kind of fuck off. I think that for a blockbuster, like, some... A lot of the scenes were very, like, a lot more compelling than I expected them to be. Like, there was... I don't know if you saw this part. This was pretty close to the beginning. But basically, Chris Pratt and all his civilian and military friends are getting transported through the wormhole, and then there's a malfunction, and then they get... The flying down from the... Yeah, they get put...

maybe fucking 2,000 feet in the air like above the city and there are people literally falling from the sky and landing on the Ed's a building anything yeah, they're planning of Eddie like they're literally just falling and dying it was badass that was a cool thing better It was terrifying it was absolutely can you imagine being put in that situation where you're you're you're? Skydiving without a parachute and like the only reason why Chris Pratt lived is Chris because he

landed in the pool, which, by the way, would have been, due to surface tension, would have been as hard as concrete. Well, it's a future pool. Oh, it's a future pool. Right, it was a future pool. Probably a pool of glycerin. Did you know that the only reason why, the first time I ever learned that water would be as hard as concrete when you fall from a certain distance is because of the book series Percy Jackson and the Olympians?

No, did someone died in the book from it? No, just at some point they were falling towards water. It makes sense, I guess, contextually. That's why they bubble it on high dives, to break the surface tension. Really? Do you know that? I did not know that. So they put air in between? So that's why when you're diving off a really high diving board on a dive team, they will bubble the water. They'll aerate the water. Because it breaks the surface tension. I remember before I knew that, when I would ride planes, I was like, how does anyone die in a plane crash? Just land in the water.

I remember thinking that as a kid. It's true. Are you dumb? Yeah, I was definitely on the camp of if I ever fall off something, I'll just fall. I'll just fall in the water and live. No, I was just thinking I'll take something with me, like my backpack, I'll put it below my feet, and then I'll jump off. And then I'll break it. Then I'll springboard off. Yep. Yes, sir. Perfect fucking set. That's like some Minecraft water bucket. It is. Absolutely. I'm tuck and roll. No ethics. Let's test it. Fuck it.

Big double springboard. Let's do ethics. Let's test the Minecraft water bucket test. Just get a bunch of people in an elevator at the top of a building. And I put a water bucket in the bottom of the elevator shaft. Just cut the line at the top and then tell them to jump when you think. Jump when you think it's good. Jump whenever you think. Okay.

You'll be fine. You'll be okay. Oh my god. It'll be like that scene all over again. Jump when you think- is that actually how you survive? I thought that was like a common like myth. No, that's how you die. No, you're dying either way. I think you're supposed to like lie down on the floor, right? Isn't that like the thing? I mean no matter what you all have the same inertia. So you lie down before you hit like this? It doesn't really change too much. That's what I've heard. I mean I guess it spreads out the impact. Spread out the impact. I think that's the idea, yeah. Yeah.

You know, this is a fun fact. If you're jumping off something high, if you need to jump off something high, don't jump down, jump forward.

Because if you jump down, all the force is going down and you can't do anything about it. Oh, so it's going like that. If you jump forward, you can land and roll and turn it into four momentum because you have some. And that's where free runner Charlie comes into play here. That's parkour, yeah. That's parkour stuff. Have you ever done parkour before? Charlie's a bit of an expert. I have not. Do you actually do parkour? No, I would not call myself an expert. But you do it. I like it. You roll and shit. I did a bunch in college and stuff. Oh, that's cool. Post-pandemic, I kind of didn't really want to grab things and just be like, I'm

Yeah, yeah. Lick these bars. Run around in shit. Yeah, speaking of shit that isn't, that you do in college that isn't frisbee or slacklining, I've been going rock climbing lately as well. Really? That's fun. That's just badass. Do you like rock climbing or do you like bouldering? I like, well,

what is bouldering is bouldering is like the free climbing on the short kind of course I like the short yeah they're fun you chalk up your hands chalk up you fucking dip your shit in there I only went I've gone once recently I'm going tonight actually right after this oh very cool you know what it'll be fun yeah I can do the V zeros and that's about it I'm good yeah I'm good I um I it's really fun

Until you have to be good at it is what I found like when they get the really fucking small holds I'm just oh, dude when you're like damn it. Yeah, I know I want just a big thing so I feel really cool. I feel bad. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

El Capitan. El Capitan in Yosemite. There's a guy who, without a slack line, free climbed. Without a line. How many feet was it? It's like 3,000. El Capitan is 7,569 feet. You can't. So the guy that climbed it though, how far did he go?

Yeah, Free Soul. With Alex Honnold. Yeah. Who is like, have you ever seen Alex, the guy who did it? His name's Alex Honnold. His finger looked like big old, like cocks. Dude, the finger muscles on those fucking cocks. His fingies are, he, they're thick. They look like cocks. I'd love to see that. Their fingers are crazy. What? He's got cock fingers? They do, right? Okay.

Can we see them? Can we see the finger cocks? Can we put up the cocks on the screen? Can we see the brap brap finger cocks? Love to see him doing this. Yeah, they're running into each other and shit.

But wait, do we know? I'm sorry, I'm throwing all these questions at you. Do we know how far he climbed, though? He needs to climb in the force. Holy shit. Fucking fingies. Yeah, man, those people have so much grip strength. They're like pickles. You know what that just reminded me of? If your hand is bigger than your face, you have cancer. Oh, that's nuts. Do you think we're just all stupid?

Do you think that you're just walking around being the guy with the biggest intelligence in the room? Oh my god, did you really do that? Did that guy just really do that over there? Have you seen the one, have you seen the video of that guy and he looks at his hand and it's just like a, it's like, it's covered in like tumors and stuff like that? I showed you that video. Did you show me that? Yeah, yeah, man.

What are you guys talking about? I showed you that fucking video. Are you sure? Yes. I showed you that. I forget what the channel's called, but he's- Fine. That dude's made a bunch of short- good shorts. Fine. All right. When's the last time you guys shit yourself? Five, six minutes ago. You need to leave. That's good. That's good. I don't know. I don't know. I will say-

Come to myself. That's Ludwig. Ludwig on his episode told us that he has come to himself 30 times. Ludwig come to himself on our episode. Come to himself. Like, yeah? Like, wet dream, come to himself. Yeah, Ludwig came on and then he came on. It happens. His pants, from inside. That happens. It'll just happen to the best of you. It's just...

Yeah, no, it was great. I couldn't figure out how to... This is such an embarrassing story that I've never told before. When I was really, really young, I couldn't figure out how to get into my house because I was fucking stupid. And I didn't know the garage code because we just moved somewhere new. Oh, so you were like in survival mode? No, I was not in survival mode, but I really had to pee. And I was, again, just really young, really stupid, didn't understand that you could pee in a bush. So what I did is I peed my pants and then I got a hose.

And I sprayed my entire body down They were checking for zombie bites yeah, no to make it look like I had like fallen in a lake So that way this is such a backwards like Problem-solving I love it exactly so that that way it didn't like it wasn't embarrassing because I'd peed myself Yeah, because there's no water because I fell in a lake like head fully clothed head to toe and

drenched myself still no way into the house so I just drenched myself and waited for my parents to get home and you're like I fell in the lake I started to dry off before they got there yeah that's how my brother and I used to when we didn't want to go to swim practice we would go to our dad's house and spray ourselves down laughing

And you pretend like you pretend yeah, we pretend like you just gave back got back exactly yeah And we were like they're gonna know it's just water so we like ran around too So it was like also sweat we basically like just like you did most like we did the same work. Yeah, so fucking stupid I can understand though like would like there's something different about getting in a pool like if you really don't want to get in a pool it's like

- I don't know, have you guys ever had swim-- - Pools and oceans are ruined for me. - Well like pools during school. - Oh I went to before school practice. - Like there was a pool period of time in PE and then-- - Whoa, what, you had a pool at your school?

In my high school? Yeah. Yeah, there was a pool. I don't know. That's not common. Is it not common? No. Absolutely not. You had a fucking pool, dude? That's fucking crazy. You think you're better than us? You really think you're better than us? Like a swim team pool. No. Well, a swim team pool is just a pool with little lanes. A swim team. We just went to like a nearby pool. It wasn't like a pool. Yeah. My elementary school would go to like a nearby pool. Did you do like any sports in school? No.

No, I did like when I was younger. Yeah, it's okay. Yeah, no, it was really fucked up. I'm sorry. I'm sorry we had a pool. I mean, I'm sure I knew that not every high school had a pool, but I mean, I didn't know it would be that shocking. School lane dividers. Pools and oceans are ruined for me. Boraf's school had a pool. Because of swim team, dude. Swim team ruined my liking of water. What did they do to you? Now I just drink Monster.

Were you on swim team? Really? Yeah. I swam. I was on varsity for one day. Yeah. Did you quit? Or did you get kicked off? No, I quit because we had to get up at like the crack of S. Yeah. Five o'clock it was dark out and then swim for like miles and miles. In the freezing, yeah.

Then you get up you know if you continued and you go on a bus straight to school and you're like oh well Let me just fucking do school now Charlie did you did like like varsity or swim team? Yeah, I went to like States and stuff I like I'm there You're the captain captain. Have I not said that no I think it came up Maybe I was captain of something if you had continued being on varsity swim team you would have had as much of a shredded back as Charlie does he's got serious I don't know why it's big

- No, I think it's 'cause of all that swimming. You must have been very, very-- - Swimmin' a long time. - Swimming is big for the back. - Yeah, that's why you see swimmers have broad shoulders, 'cause it's good.

Usually like big hands and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking finger cocks. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Finger cocks. No. Yeah. I quit sports to go into band and that was a mistake. I was in also band. What did you play in band? Saxophone. Nice. Ooh. I did percussion. Ooh. Wow. Do you usually do like band camp?

Not often. We would do like a day to go to like a band thing. But I would just like, I was in the, like our band instructor was like a saxophonist himself. So he gave so much lenience to the saxophones. Like the generation before, he was also a new teacher who like recently came to the school. And like my section leader before me would just stand up sometimes in the middle of practice and say, hey mister, fuck you. And he'd sit back down. Like as a joke. And then the guy would go, and he'd sit back down.

It was super fucking funny it was goddamn hilarious Yeah, it was sweet. Yeah, Ben was actually like a really fun experience cuz of that not cuz the music what happens in band camp What is the purpose of it my experience may be different than others? So yes, I went to a really really competitive like band school. Yes, so we went in summer

I know, it's super lame. Why are you laughing at me? I'm not. No, it objectively sucks. I'm not. Didn't you go to... Wait, hold on. Before you even do that... Hey, you had a pool in your school. Didn't you go to hackathons, you fucking nerd? I went to one, and then I had Pierisus, and then I never went again. It was just me in the stall with the guy in the middle, and he probably just heard...

You ever try to like pee on anyone else's robot? I wanna hear about what Charlie did at the bank. Oh yeah, yeah. It was eight hours a day.

This is not a joke. Um, we would like get there again at the crack of dawn. It was like 9am to like 5pm. So I'd bike, I don't know. Yeah. I'd bike there. We do like warmups in the fucking, uh, like band room, the ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba on like percussion, you know, Glockenspiel, Xylophone, Marimba. Those are words. And then we'd, and then we'd wheel them all out to the field. Um,

Where hopefully another brass player didn't pass out of heat stroke that day. Again, this is fucking real. Because you guys stand in just the sun. Yes, it was marching band. It was marching band. Percussion always has to stand with shit on them too, right? Yes, yes we would. So the big thing was we'd always have to get the shit to the field. That was always a thing. We'd be wheeling the stuff through crowds of people. And then we'd just do it all day. Did you learn everything for band during band camp?

It was I mean it's a lot of you fucking suck man. This is such a weak so much ass It's such a weak bit. He's talking about something he did in high school, and you're laughing at him Yeah, I can play the xylophone very strange three mallets in each hand you went to three I went to three I think you can do four Fucking really you took it like chords and stuff. Yeah, that's disgusting. I'm sorry I was just thinking about a really funny image Matt Watson showed me oh my god

I was telling you about my whole life experience and you were thinking about the image Matt Watson showed you of a fucking Wojack bonging out of a guy's ass the entire time. Using the penis as a...

Freaking awesome. That's so nice of you, Shlatt. Did you guys ever do hackathons? Yeah, I went to one. I didn't really know much about computer science and stuff. I did one programming class. I did like, hello world. Yeah, yeah. All downhill from here. Was it for that thing that high schools did where they were like, we want people to code now? Yeah, that was my- I don't remember that. What was that? We had a STEM program. Now STEAM added agriculture in there somehow. They-

But it was like science, technology, engineering, and math. And like, it was like the one good thing our school had. They'd like have a room full of computers and they'd just be like, do fucking whatever on the computers. And you'd like kind of learn that way. They'd have good software on them. But like every year there was a hackathon. And so like the entire like a group of STEM kids would go to it. And it was like on the other side of the island at a hotel. And you'd just like chill there for three days and like build things. And it was like, it was pretty cool. There was like a lot of fun behind it. Yeah, it was cool.

I won our group won a cyber security competition nice by like but it was like the shittiest fucking we had like a USB stick you plug into a computer and it would just automatically connect you to like a VPN and that won like a security competition which is I mean almost I don't know what that says yeah yeah yeah almost no work where did I mean is that where it started for you this whole thing or was it before that you kind of realized it was what you wanted to know it's like well

It happened at some point. It was more that I had a friend in high school who was insane at programming. Like, disgusting. Like, he...

Like for like a science fair project, you like turn in a program game that you could put like any song into and beats would shoot out in all directions and you had to dodge the beats. Oh, that's pretty cool. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, he was like a freshman in high school. Like an audio visualizer, but like a game? Yeah, like an audio visualizer, but a game. Oh, that's sick. I was like, Jesus Christ, how'd you make that? And he was like, yeah, I did some imaginary numbers. I had to use them here. And I was like, shut the fuck up. For some reason, when you started saying that, like, oh, my friend was really good at like

like programming and stuff I immediately thought of him being as a hacker and then when you start to like go into what he was saying I thought you were going to say like one of the really cool things he did was he like he like captured the president or something like that like some some of the what's the guy guy something the mask Guy Fawkes Guy Fawkes Guy Fawkes

Yeah. Yeah. Did you finish college with like computer science? No, I went one year. Did you finish college? No, I didn't finish any kind of college. No shit. I dropped out of that thing. Was that the same time you had like the whole YouTube thing going on and everything? Um, I was kinda, but they were very unrelated. Like me dropping out. I was definitely going to drop out regardless. Really? Yeah. What was your reason for dropping out? I didn't.

It was just not the way to learn for me. It wasn't it. I had a job doing programming before I got to college. And they made me take the fucking intro class. I was like, could I test out of this? Oh, that must be so frustrating. Oh, that sucks. And it's not like me being an asshole. It's like I already have a job doing this. Could I just get out of the intro class so that I could spend less money at this fucking college? Because it's a waste of everyone's time. Yeah, it's a waste of everyone's time at that point. I'm like taking a slot from other kids who are in there. And they were like, no, you cannot. Also, you must learn...

English and math and stuff and I was like I already do the thing somewhat yeah what am I speaking to you right now why would I why do that and I was like wow I went fucking backwards by coming to a college and I was like and I have a hard time learning when it's a dude talking it's an easier time for me to like learn off a video

not in the front of class i'm not gonna rewind you're a visual learner i'm a very kinesthetic learner yeah is it is it tactile or some shit i think all those are bullshit you stack the blocks and you learn something new learn something new it was it was ass but there were like some fun parts about being in college it was nice there was um they had a good business program at the college i went to and i was trying to start a like a little tech company with

websites and shit with my friends. And so like to get business advice, I just walk in the business building and I go to like the 100 level professors and I look at their nameplate. And then I go all the way to the top of the building to the 500 level professors. And I'd say that the 100 level professors sent me to talk to you about my business. And then they give me, and the 500 level professors were like running companies and shit and doing this on the side. And I was like,

hey, bada bing, bada boom, it's me from Mr. This guy's class doing a hot deal. That is some real smart shit, Michael Reeves. That was fun as fuck. That was so good. It's just like pretending. Did you ever get caught? Never, no. They never gave a shit. Like, college professors were just like, I'm sure they would have been fine.

I'm sure I feel like a lot of professors spend a lot of time not really doing too much in office hours because not many my experience in college not many people show up to office hours and yeah as they could

So, honestly, I'm sure you're making their day even showing up. Hey, what's up? Help me with this thing. And that's perfect because college is only really good for connections anyways. It is. Yeah, it sure fucking is. Just fucking meet people. It is. Get your foot in the door. You can learn it. Exactly. You can learn all the code online. Yeah, 100%. For instance, when I did that Universal thing, most of the people that I had on that set were met at,

at some point through connections that I made in like the film school college stuff. Yeah. Yeah. And then I left that and then I went to Oahu and lived there for a while. Was that? And then you became a YouTuber. I became a YouTuber. I ran a little teaching people how to code business on Oahu. That's cool. That was fun. Yeah. I did a quirky thing where I made, I was like the only person who taught coding on the island, like exclusively, or like who had advertisements for it. So I made like three or four pretend companies who like taught coding and I was like A.

For like a small amount of time, I was every single coding teaching. You cornered the market on coding. Yeah, just by like posting Craigslist ads and fake websites. You're a bit of a... So funny. A rat. It was such a rat maneuver. You keep saying to these scams that you're doing. You're like, that was so fun. It was badass. Because my favorite... I guess it wasn't a scam if you're actually teaching. Yeah, I was actually teaching. You're just...

You're optimizing. Yeah, he was optimizing. Optimizing through lies. I had one student who was like a grown dude, but he was learning coding, like going back to school. I didn't answer his messages for a while. And then, so I think he got frustrated with me. And then I got a message from one of my other companies, and it was him looking for another DJ. Oh, shit.

What did you do? And then I like, in our next lesson, I then responded to him because I was like, oh shit, I haven't messaged this guy in a while. And I was like, hey, you looking on codetutors.com for a teacher? And I was like, that's me. What are you going to do? Nothing. So he's the one guy who kind of like discovered

They're all him. It's all him. I heard Michael wasn't doing it for you. Hey, I'm Michael. I'm Michael. That was great. Yeah, I'd use the school library to teach the kids. I didn't need to have a place. It was nice. I pretended I was a student at that college, too. Oh, so you just showed up there. I just showed up there, yeah. And they'd think, oh, this is a student or a teacher. Are you a fan of the Reddit...

uh r slash act like you belong i love i love doing that you love you seem like you love doing that oh it's so nice what is there any other like what's the how often have you done that is there like a situation where you like have like the what's the most risky situation that you've gotten yourself into that's like that none too risky i like to do um my friends sometimes like we well before covid happened we did a game like in downtown la where we'd see how high we can get in the buildings

Like, like, how high you could get. People don't just do that. How up in the building, fucking 50th floor to, like, a weird-ass party. And they would just, like, let you in if you walked in and didn't look at them. That's fucking awesome. Badass. And we'd just bird scooter different big buildings and see how high you could get in the building. That shit's fun as fuck. No one cares as long as you pretend like... I'm also, like, I'm an unassuming guy. You know, I'm, like, Asian. I'm short. Yeah.

So like I look like I should just be somewhere and no one's gonna be like what's that guy doing? Probably belongs here. Yeah, yeah, so you just go up in the elevator and I like walk in and it's like Nod to people that's just I love doing that like pretend like you belong Wow that's it's so fun. So I could get away with that. No You look like you need to be kicked out You look like you've already been there and done something wrong You look like

That's like, if you walked into a place, you might be, people might misrecognize you as the person that management was like, okay, if you see this guy, you shouldn't. Get him out of there. It'd be very easy to make a sketch of me if I committed a heinous crime. Oh my God. I'd be gone in a second. They'd find me. Yeah, you'd be in jail really quickly. I could just go bald.

If you shaved everything, yeah, you'd be good. Unrecognizable. What's the highest floor you ever got to? Was it that 50? I think it was that 50. Nice. And it was like a cool party type thing. It was at one of the hotels in DTLA. So do you just try each level as it goes up? Or is it like...

It makes it kind of sound like you have to complete each level before you can continue on to the next one. A lot of the times those buildings need like a key card scanner to get in the elevator. So I will be standing there and then waiting for a group to come in. You can't be waiting right at the elevator. You're like off in the lobby. Oh, it's a bit of a gamble too. And then you follow this guy in and then you hope that they...

either scan their card and sometimes if they scan your card you can punch in any level but sometimes you just have to go off of their level. This is the most suspicious shit for like the least payoff. Badass. Fun. You get to see the whole city. But there's a bit of a gamble there too though because like

how, if a group comes in, how long can you follow it up? Because then if it gets to a point where it's like, you're really, really high up and it's just you and another guy and you're, and then it's like, there's a conversation to be had there if you're going to the same spot. You sneak in here too? Yeah. It's just, neither of you have the key card for it. Oh yeah. Can't get back down. Micah Reeves, do you think it's possible to make a key card that could open any FOB?

I don't think so. I don't even know how a fob works. A master lock fob. Master key fob. Master key card for everywhere? Yeah, master key card. It's called like a crowbar or something. Like a bat. You know bats. You know bats? I do know bats. I know bats very well. And so do your knees. Michael, have you ever broken a bone? No. Wow. I can show you what it's like. Do this.

Fuck! Fuck! So we're reaching towards the end of our time on the podcast, Michael. But before you go, Shalott's got a bit of a question for you that we ask our guests. So we do ask everyone a question before we go. We've been talking a lot about robots and first robots.

we do this thing apart from the other thing that I was about to talk about. Or the thing that comes after that. Right. Yeah. Chuckle sandwich. Chuckle sandwich. We're a sandwich. What part of the sandwich are you? Because this guy is the butt end of the bread. The two butt pieces of bread that come in every loaf. He

Is the schmeat. Yeah, yeah. I'm the mayo. Oh, I was thinking tartar sauce. You could still be tartar sauce. Yeah, I was thinking about tartar sauce. I want to bring back tartar sauce. I want to start saying that when things go wrong. Oh, you mean like they're doing Spongebob? Yeah. I want to say barnacle head. You're implying that that was like already a societal thing that people would say when they wanted to swear. When I...

Get injured anywhere on my body when I want to scream my leg. I want to say between all words I want the dolphin noise. I want to say it's the racial slur. Oh I wish I knew what did they say? I'm gonna be able to say I've been trying to catch you guys all day

- There's a lot of anger behind that, I like that. - Yeah. - That was good. - So you're the tartar sauce? - Yeah, I'd like to be the tartar sauce. - Tartar sauce, okay. Would you rather have unlimited bacon but no more video games or would you rather have games, unlimited games, but no games? - No more games. - No games. - But no game. - Yeah. - One more time from the top. - Michael Reese, would you rather have unlimited bacon but no more video games? - Right. - None. - None. Or would you rather have games

Unlimited games. Unlimited games. Unlimited games. But no games. But no games. No games. But none. Would you rather have unlimited bacon, but no more games, or would you rather have games? Come on. Games. Games. Unlimited games. Unlimited games. I want unlimited games. But no more games. All of us? All three of us? No games.

Would you rather have unlimited bacon but no more games or games, unlimited games but no more games?

That is fucking fever brain shit. I wanna look at that. Unlimited games. Games. Unlimited games. Games, unlimited games, folks. Thank you very much for watching Chuckle Sandwich, everybody. This has been Michael Reeves. Michael, we're gonna do this thing. Got this camera, that camera, that camera. Tell everyone what you got going on in your life. Sometimes I make YouTube videos.

Sometimes I make you do sometimes YouTube sometimes sometimes YouTube sometimes YouTube though. Where do you do that? Sometimes I'll do YouTube stuff but not often maybe like once every three or four months. Yeah, excellent Well, thank you so much Michael for coming on. Yeah, thanks for having me on keep on chuckling

I don't care. Yeah, hey, thanks for coming. Looks like it's time for us to re...

Con los ahorros de Labor Day en The Home Depot, haces más, logras más. Sujeto de disponibilidad, consulta homedepot.com de Honaldo Libre para más detalles.