S3 EP6. Taking It Back ft. Emy Moore
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Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Christ with Coffee on Ice. I am your host, Allie Yost, and if you're physically watching, we are always in a new environment, I swear, on this podcast, but it's been so fun. We are sitting outside, too, so if you hear a little bit of distraction or if you hear some ruffling of pages, those are our Bibles, just with the wind. The Lord is like, this page, whatever. We're going to let him lead here. There will be some birds chirping, but I am here with Miss Emmy Moore. Yes.

Hello, hello. This is so fun. I'm so grateful. I'm so excited. Guys, this has been highly anticipated. Right. Like, I'm so glad that this collab is happening. I know that the listeners are freaking out and everybody just adores you and loves you. I mean, I just love what you're doing with your platforms and the way that you honor the Lord. Thank you. And so it is like, honestly, so convicting. Like, if you guys don't know, she has a podcast. It's called Saved But Not Soft. Yep. And like...

like her boldness like the daggers that she throws into the pits of hell just through like I mean you be preaching like scripture like you are like spitting fire and it's like it's just so admirable and I just love you for that like you bring a certain sense of like power and just yeah just it's literally power through the Holy Spirit

And so I can't wait for her to bring that on the pod. Oh, man. And yeah, no pressure. But like, I was gonna say, it's not really pressure because it's always Jesus. And it's always in you. Like, it literally is always radiating off of you where you're like, we're not messing around. Like, this is the truth. This is the word.

Can I actually tell you where that comes from? Yeah. Tell us. So how do you do that? So where that actually comes from is my perception of seeing God on the throne. Yeah. I've never talked about this. Thank you, Jesus. No, this is fun. It's always been easy for me to see God as a king, to see him on a throne and for him to be powerful and authoritative and powerful.

I love seeing God stepping in his authority and in his power. Yeah. Because there is the awe and the reverence and the love of God, but there's so much power in the name. There's so much power in the throne. And when I pray to God, usually the first thing I think of is I'm at his feet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm just like, how can I serve you? How can I just be a good warrior? I just think of a general under the king, you know? Yeah.

I just feel like I'm a general for my daddy. At the same time, learning for him to be my father is kind of on the opposite side of the spectrum. But the first thing that came to me when I met Christ was him as a king. So where that power and that fire comes from is God operating as a king through me as a vessel. So yeah, that's where that comes from. That's powerful. I never shared that. I love that he just brought that to me.

light. And it's so funny because I feel like, so we just recorded for her podcast. Yeah. Like literally three minutes ago. Yeah. But whenever it comes out on your pod. Yeah. And it's so sweet that we're both talking about, and I want to hear about your testimony. Like I honestly don't even think I've fully heard your testimony before.

Oh, praise God. So this is going to be really exciting for me. But I love that. Like the way that we both came to Christ was like our experience was so different. Absolutely. You know, like I was talking about how I just felt. I felt like his love, which I know you felt too, obviously. But the way that your approach when you first like really met him, you were like, whoa, King. Like, yeah, you know, I love that. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So I didn't grow up Christian at all. And that's what I've shared with you before. But I bet those are listening. They're like, I've heard bits and pieces. Right.

right? Right. I haven't heard the whole thing. The whole thing. Yeah. Yeah. I could, I could summarize it pretty well. So. How long have you been saved? I've been saved for three years. Exactly. Okay. That's right. I just had your birthday. I just had my three year birthday, my golden spiritual birthday on April 3rd, turning three on the third. I,

I love that. Last week. And it's wild because God, you would think that I've been a Christian my whole life and you would think I would have been in this since I was a little baby girl. The Lord changed me and refined me in a way that I never thought was possible. When I tell you that I was in shambles, I was in change.

I was wearing them as accessories and the Lord said no more. God really pulls me out of the pit and took me into the palace. That's my testimony is I've touched the bottom of the pit. I was inhaling the dirt and God said, it's no longer to stay in the tent outside of the palace. I have given you the keys and,

And I never understood that until he sat down and told me that he loved me. So what that looked like was I grew up, my parents weren't, they were lukewarm, which means they're not Christian. Because if you were Christian, that means that God wouldn't spit you out of his mouth. Right.

Right. That's exactly what Revelation 316 says. So my parents were lukewarm, meaning that they knew the name of God, but they never understood the nature. So Jesus wasn't implemented in my household, but I had an understanding of who Jesus was. But I never prayed to him. Never saw. No, there's no Holy Spirit. I never saw him. I was never curious to seek his presence. Nothing like that. My parents weren't.

encouraging it anything and I would like to say that my life was pretty good up until I turned about 10 years old I kind of have nothing to complain I had a great little childhood with my brother Avery he's five years younger than me I'm the oldest my parents had me really young my parents had me when they were well got pregnant at 18 had me when they were 19 so they were kids having a kid wow

So that alone was already really hard, not just for me, but also for my parents because they were figuring out their identity, let alone having to give a identity to their child. Right. So what happened from that was my life was pretty good up until I

I was 10. Everything was la-di-di, la-di-da. Doing great. Playing with my Polly Pockets and Lil' Spets shops and riding little... I used to do motocross when I was a kid and dance. I used to love riding dirt bikes and doing all that stuff. And then when I turned 10, my dad kind of sat me and my brother down and said, me and your mom do not love one another anymore. And that confused me. And I didn't understand...

what that meant the thought of my parents being separated confused me and I'm 10 years old so I have a understanding of what that looks like and but also not enough where you're like but not not enough you know it's like I have an understanding that oh this is real and I wasn't just taking it in passively my brother was five so he didn't really know what was going on but

But for me, I'm the oldest. So there was also an unexpressed pressure that was on me to kind of be the filler in between. And whenever my parents divorced, it kind of just started going down from there.

My mom remarried immediately and she met my stepdad, which I love so much. And she had a baby boy, which is now my best friend, Austin, and he's nine years old and that's my bestie. But I was full of rage and wrath and angry because in my head I was like, you just left my dad, you left us.

you kicked me to the side of the curb and I would just see my dad weep and see him lose the love of his life. And even my, my mom go through stuff as well. Like on both sides, I was just seeing my parents struggle in a way of them so much. So I can only imagine like the, the feeling of like, did you feel like you had to pick a side or like you had to have more compassion for the other? Like, what did you feel like being in the center of that? Bingo.

the oldest child in divorce is really interesting because I didn't feel, I didn't feel like I had to pick to pick a side.

But my parents would kind of just, they didn't pressure me to pick a side, but I was their number one venting partner. Yeah. I was their number one, hey, we're going to talk about this. And I was too young to even understand, recognize what's going on. And I was kind of in conversations way too early about stuff that I didn't really want to know about just yet and seeing stuff that really broke my heart. It's really heartbreaking to see two people love one another and then make the decision to not. Yeah.

especially when it's people you love so much. And that broke me to pieces. And when my mom had a new family, I was with my dad. There was a period where it was just me, my dad, and my brother. And it was the most beautiful time of my entire life. We would stay up late and watch Adventure Time and always laugh at Amazing World of Gumball and watch Ridiculousness on TV. The time of me, my dad, and my brother was the best time of my entire life. I've just always been kind of more...

masculine too. I think it's because I don't have sisters and I didn't really grow up in my family. There's not a lot of women either. I have a lot of uncles. I have a lot of cousins that are men. Um, as far as women, everyone kind of in my family that is a woman is really dominant. So that's just kind of what I grew up around as well. So, um,

I just loved hanging out with my brother, with my dad. And then my dad remarried in high school and him just searching for love also was such a journey because you could just tell he wanted to just give everything. And he finally found a wife and it was great.

They got married. It was awesome. After that happened when I was in high school, the end of my freshman year, going into sophomore. And after that, that's when I noticed there was a switch in the way I was being treated in my family. Okay. And what ended up happening was, to say it without saying it too much, is the wrath that my father had on my mom suddenly started to be taken out on me. Wow. Okay. Okay.

I don't know what the click was. My parents have done just as equally bad things to one another. And I resemble my dad a lot, but I also resemble my mom a lot. I think I look smack dead just like my dad because he, we got the dark features and just like dark hair, blue eyes. But my mom,

she she's beautiful and she's an extrovert and she's loud and she's just passionate. And my personality and how I operate as a woman comes a lot from her, but also my creativity and the way I hold myself, the way my brain processes is a lot like my dad. So I would trigger both of my parents just as equally. Right. And I noticed that a lot of the things that they would get upset when it came to me was just unexpressed emotions.

sadness or unvalidation that they had with one another. I was triggering for both of them. It mostly happened with my dad more than my mom. My dad, every time something would happen, he would just kind of bring up my mom. You're this, you're this because your mom is this, this and this. Just like your mom. Just like your mom. Just like your mom. Just like your mom. I'm sitting here like, I don't think I'm anything like my mom. What did I do to deserve that too?

And so then that turned into narcissism and then that turned into a lot of psychological and verbal abuse. Things that happened to me in high school were not okay whatsoever. I would get grounded over things that never happened. Jesus.

things that weren't real, things that were delusional and things that were illusions. I was painted as something that I was never doing and something that I never was. So, cause here's the thing about narcissism to be a clinical narcissist, you have to hit seven of these factors. Number one is being like superficial. So meaning that you are a certain way to certain people, but behind the stage, it's something different. Yeah. Also lack of empathy.

I would be crying, bawling to my parents and they wouldn't care. And there, there's just like multiple things that just, and I didn't know this during the time when I was high school, when I was in high school, that I was, that my parents were operating out of narcissism, but it completely affected my life. And I,

The words that would come out of my father and my mother's mouth hit the depths of my heart. I'm talking word curses. I'm saying you're this, you're that. The spirit of fear was always implemented onto me as a kid. The earliest example I could give you, I remember I was being taught how to cook mac and cheese. And my mom set up, you know, you boil the water, then you put in the noodles and stuff. And a normal parent, so the handle was kind of off the stove just a little bit.

And a normal parent would be like, hey, sweetie, when you're making mac and cheese, make sure the handle's on the other way so it just doesn't tip and fall, right?

My parents, and this is just how they operate, is you need to move the handle because if you pull it down, it will burn you, it will kill you, just like your friend Emily, whose brother died from this. It's like putting so much fear. If you don't do this, you'll die. If you don't do this, you'll get hurt. We just talked about this today. Always like that. So I grew up, but here's the thing. My parents would always operate out of the spirit of fear because unintentionally, because they were kids raising kids.

Right. You know what? I really, I just want to say this. This is crazy. I feel like I relate so much to this because my dad, like, and this is just, I don't blame him, but my dad was a cop for 25 years. There you go. And he had to see some of the scariest things.

things. Right. Like most heartbreaking, awful things, even probably to some people's children. Right. And so the way that fear has been embedded in my freaking skin. Yeah. Beginning of time. Like I was afraid to do everything. Like everyone was like, oh, you probably were a rebel because your dad was a cop and you wanted to do all this stuff. Right. Sneak out of the house and do drugs. And I said I didn't because the fear was so embedded in me.

I mean, sure. Yeah. That's actually how I was too. That's funny. You say that. I didn't touch. No scary growing up because my parents were always like, bless. I love them, but it's such a spirit of fear. We're like, don't do that or you'll die. Yeah. You'll be sex traffic. Yeah. You'll get murdered. You'll be in the back alley with a needle in your arm. My dad's a

literally said stuff like that to me and it's like yeah that's the same with my parents that's like protecting your child but bro you are making me so afraid to be here yeah yeah that's exactly what happened to me I relate to that I was scared to just operate in day-to-day life I would even there was a point even in high school where every day I was having anxiety attack because I thought the school was gonna get shot up

See, but isn't that crazy? I relate to that. So it's really the spirit of fear embedded into me. And that's not healthy. And I can't. Here's the thing. I can't blame my parents. I blame the wicked spirit that's behind it. Come on. I don't blame my parents. We're calling it the spirit, right? I blame the wicked spirit that was operating through my parents. Yes. Because I've forgiven my parents. I haven't talked to my dad in two years, but I love that man so much.

I love my mom so much. Gosh, I cry anytime I talk about my parents. Yeah. Because I just, I just love them so much. It just sucks seeing things that they don't. It's a different type of heartbreak, you know, and having to conquer that. So,

But yeah, in high school, I was just full of fear. And that fear, because my parents were both so fearful, they were just pulling knives out of everywhere. And everything I was doing, it was combated with narcissism and with fear, which led into verbal and psychological abuse. I'm talking like I was punished for things.

like punish and tormented in my mind for things that were like, why did that even happen? Like I'm talking about, I would sit in a chair and they would degrade me for two hours. Just telling me you're this, you're that. I think the worst thing that was ever said to me that like rips my heart to pieces was, and this isn't to pay him out to be a bad person, but this is just like what happened. He just told me if you were a person I knew I wouldn't like you, but because you're my daughter, I have to love you. That's awesome.

And it just rips me like stuff like that would be told to me all the time of, we don't actually love you. We just have to, because you're our daughter. And that just threw me into pieces. And I don't think my parents are bad people. I just think there is a really bad spirit that got on the back end of what they were doing. And, uh, and, uh,

Actually, to just highlight that real quick, I believe my new dad, my daddy God, is so good that he's going to restore their hearts. And even if they don't apologize to me, so be it. Like, I'm here to where I am today because of my testimony and the things I've tasted and seen. But from the narcissism and verbal and mental misbehavior,

that turned into, it started with anxiety. I remember I all of a sudden felt like I couldn't breathe and my heart was always going to jump out of my chest. I remember the first day I felt anxiety and then that kept continuously happening. And then whenever I was 16, so I'm 22 for reference. So six years ago, I was 16 years old and,

and I did sports. Don't ask me if I was good. I just did it because I didn't want to go home, you know? So I did track and I made a video with my friend. I've always loved to dance. Like I said, I grew up dancing and I grew up just like riding dirt bikes and like shooting clay doves and stuff. I live in the most complicated place in California. It's like half hood and half country. I don't understand what it is. I live in the most complicated place.

But I just loved it so much. And so before track practice, we were in the high school parking lot and we were just dancing to the song, like I talk about Drake and the Migos or whatever. Okay, yeah. No, because I always grew up on rap too because my dad, you know those little mini iPod shuffles? My dad had the Dr. Dre album on it with Eminem and I was bumping that when I was like six. So I just always loved rap music. Please.

So right before the track practice, we're just dancing, all this stuff. Keep in mind, I wasn't allowed to have a phone all throughout high school. That was a part of my punishment. I wasn't allowed to socialize, do any of that stuff. But I had like a burner phone that my friends would give me. And we made a video. And I also had a Twitter that my parents didn't know about. And I posted on Twitter that night. I wake up the next morning and I see it's at a million views. And I was like, oh.

First thing I'm thinking is if my parents see this, they're going to kill me. Wow, this is crazy. Because I'm not supposed to have a little phone, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. My mom ended up not really caring. And then I think my dad was just kind of like, over time or whatever, he still thought social media was really weird and like brainwashing. But this video just starts. Which is kind of half right.

yeah yeah yeah agreed now now that i'm older but this video kept growing and growing and growing my following starts going up and up and up and think about this this is in 2017 on twitter this is when it's hard to go viral random yeah this is when it's hard to go viral and so i start making dance content on twitter so i'm making dance content on twitter and it's just going crazy and i'm like okay and what's so weird i was dancing i was doing nothing harmful and

It turned into people just antagonizing me for no reason. I'm doing a little dance and people are sending me DMs to kill myself. I'm a 16-year-old girl and I'm already thrown into anxiety and panic, attack disorder and all these things. And it was just like, you need to kill yourself because we don't like what you're doing. And so the bullying, the bullying spirit, it was happening at home, online and at school. Yes.

It was just like a target on my back for no reason. And I would also like to say I was not perfect during high school. I will be so self-admitted of that. I was such a hurt person that would hurt other people. I didn't know how to manage my emotions, let alone did I know how to manage another person's emotions. So I was just like a ticking time bomb. I was a ticking time bomb ready to just explode.

And so with all that packed up, as I go into my senior year, everything starts getting worse. The anxiety I had turned into depression and I start going down this rabbit hole. The verbal abuse meant for my parents got worse and it kept increasing. And then also I was with my dad the majority of the time. So whenever I go to my mom's, he would like tell my mom what I was doing. And I'm air quoting for those who are just lit it.

listening. I wasn't actually doing these things and that she would believe it and then she would antagonize me. So it was just like a, I couldn't run away from feeling like I was never heard, seen or loved. That then turned into when it was my senior year, 2019 in January, there was an altercation I had with my dad

and I was depressed and then at the end or beginning of my senior year living with both your parents I would go back and forth and they lived 30 minutes apart okay which was really wild and I live in a country town I don't like live in LA or a Bay Area people think that in California I'm smack in the middle I probably live in the most diverse place ever like LA you get a lot of city people where I live you get like

city country you get la bay area it's like a mutt you have to meet so many different people there but i'm blessed i grew up with such a diverse group of people because i know how to speak to them hey guys how's it going are we loving this pod episode is it our favorite is it absolutely blessing us

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Yeah, so the Lord, yeah, the Lord is just so good. But at the beginning of my senior year, so I would say like October, because the year starts in August, I started to become really suicidal. And I started to just hate my life. And I started having those thoughts every single day, thinking that I wasn't enough, that no one was going to love me. I mean, when you hear that every day, you start to believe it.

And so I thought there was going to be something I had to do about it. And my parents made it pretty clear that they weren't going to provide. They weren't going to help me go to college. I was going to go into the Air Force because I felt forced. I was actually going to go into the Air Force for computer science and coding because I felt like there was no other option. Like, I thought that's that's what it was. And I was just me and my dad got an altercation in January.

And I was like, he's just going to yell at me and then say sorry two years, two months later or not two months later, two hours later. And then the dude is the same thing to me over and over again. Yeah. I feel like I could never escape it. Right. And I felt like I would never. It's an endless cycle. It's an endless cycle. You hurt me. You apologize. But you're not really apologizing because you do it again.

And it was hurting my soul. And I was like, I don't even want to go into the military. I actually hate my life. I don't feel like anyone's ever going to love me. I feel like I don't even my friends don't even love me because I feel like I'm such an awful person and I don't know how to fix it. And that night that my dad just kind of he nipped me hard this one time. And I was already suicidal up to this point.

He left the room. Your family know this? No, they didn't. Yeah. And of course, I'm petrified to tell them or petrified to tell anyone. The only person who knew was my was my counselor at school. Shout out Mr. Marquez. He poured into me when I knew nothing. So and he heard me when I thought I had no ears. So my counselor helps me a lot. But yeah, so he left the room and I was just pacing back and forth in my room. And I felt like that desire to like actually go through with it happening. And yeah.

I'm always going to cry when I talk about this because I can't believe I can't believe I would want to create or kill God's greatest creation. Yeah. So I'm pacing back and forth.

And I remember making the decision in my head that I was going to kill myself. Because it's different when you think about it and you're like, oh, like doing this. When you make that decision, though, it's really sad because when I made the decision, I made it not really wanting to do it. Yeah. I made it not because I was like, I really want to do this. I made the decision because I was so convinced and deceived that I was never going to be hurt, seen or loved. Yeah.

and so I knew exactly how I was going to do it I was like I'm just going to overdose because I don't want it to hurt I'm done hurting I just want to go to sleep and um I started just write uh

a letter to my best friends and or a text message and I was like I'm just gonna do it after I send this right I send it I get what I need to get and I'm pacing back and forth not even like two minutes later I hear banging on my front door yeah apparently they were like driving close by or they were like stupid close or something like that and they came in and they told my parents they were like do you know what your daughter's about to do

And my friends come in and I'll acknowledge them. My friends, Erica and Blair, they came in and just held me like no other. And I remember my friend Erica looked at me and she said, I know your parents are throwing you away.

into the deep end but you have to stay for me yeah like I love you I love you you have to stay for me like we have to figure it out she's like I don't care if I gotta adopt you like you gotta figure something out and I was like okay and I really needed that my parents kicked them out

And instead of my parents being like, whoa, what the heck just happened? Are you okay? It's fine. My parents punished me. So they threatened to pull me out of school, pull me out of sport. Well, they did pull me out of sports.

And that's so disappointing because I feel like they probably were looking at it like, oh, she's being so dramatic. Well, they told me that I should be grateful for the life that I live. It's all just gaslighting, which is another tool in narcissism. How could you want to leave this earth when you're so blessed and you have all these things? And it's like, that's not what it's about. I literally feel worthless here on earth. Like I don't see my worth.

I don't see the purpose. I don't see what I'm doing with my life. I don't know why I need to be here. Like, it sounds like I'm not benefiting anyone's life. Right. Especially when you're getting told every day that you're not worthy of being loved. And even if they don't verbally say it, you're showing it with your actions. And I'm not going to sit here and say that my parents were awful human beings because there was times that were really, really great. This is one of those instances though, where the negative did outweigh the good. Absolutely. And I,

And I made the decision to stick it through my senior year because I knew my friends were counting on me. Right. And so then after that. This backs up scripture too of you probably know where it is, where it's like we literally hold the power of life and death. Yeah. That's in Proverbs. Yeah. Within our time. I think it's Proverbs 27.7. I think that's it. Like that's exactly what you were experiencing.

Yeah. It was a word curse because everything that was coming out of their mouths, because we have Genesis 1.28 says that we hold power and dominion here on the earth realm, that we're given the keys to the earth. So things that come out of our mouth and we're saying it into the earth realm, it's being rooted into solid ground, right? Yeah. It has so much power. It does. And those...

Because they were speaking in faith with the words that they were saying and not saying good faith, like in hope, like with confidence. Like they were saying those words in confidence and they meant it. It landed. So dangerous. That's why word curses, people are like, oh, I don't even remember saying that. But you said it and you meant it. And that's why it literally went down. Yeah. And people are like, oh, I don't even remember saying it. It doesn't matter if you remember if you said it, you said it with faith. Yeah.

That's why sometimes we'll go through seasons. We'll go through seasons sometimes and be like, dang, I don't know why this is happening. God, why are you just pulling all these people and these things from my life? And he's like, well, because you were on your knees crying out two weeks ago, try me by fire in faith, thinking that I want to do it. God hears all things and he's going to take you seriously. So how much more would the enemy take you seriously? That's so good. Right. So the work curses that were put on to me in my life were taken seriously and

And then also, I don't know if you've experienced this, but I'm also a first generational curse breaker. No one in my family is Christian. Yeah, I've had to break off stuff on my mom's behalf, on my grandma's behalf, on my great grandfather's behalf. I've had to break off things for generations because of the healing that my family ignored.

Yeah. My whole my whole family bloodline. Right. That's real. So anyways, I stick it through senior year and sorry, I got a little off track, but no, I brought you there. Yeah. Yeah. No, praise God. But I stick it. I stick it through senior year and I moved to a new city. I left my dad's house because it just got worse and worse and worse. And I was like, well, my mom's a little more tolerable. So I moved in with my mom, which was 30 minutes away. And I had a mutual relationship.

friend with one of my best friends from high school and her name is Monica which is now my best friend she lived a block away from that house I don't know how or why she knew I moved there but she was like hey you want to hang out today I was like okay kind of weird bit sure why not

We hang out. We click like that. Very rarely back then did I click with people. If anything, I didn't like it. I didn't even used to hug people. You're very guarded. Right. Like, was it a spirit of, like, I don't really trust people? Absolutely. Because of the abuse you've been also experiencing. Yeah, because it's a spirit of abandonment and betrayal. So I wouldn't want to give anyone anything of me at all. Yeah, that's scary. And also, like, I wasn't a huge hugger.

I bet you're like girl this is hard to believe I was not physical touch at all I wouldn't hug people if someone hugged me I would want to cry because I felt like it wasn't genuine and now I hug people all the time so praise God I'm healed from that but I think I also grew up with like my parents not hugging me too my parents wouldn't like coddle me or hug me or even when I was sick like they wouldn't really like rub my feet or touch my head or like I wouldn't have home-cooked meals like it was just kind of yeah no nothing like that my my grandma would be the one who did that my Mimi

But my parents were always working and they were always exhausted, just figuring out their own stuff that it just it wasn't prioritized, I guess. You know, it is what it is. I can't complain. But yeah, so I met my best friend, Annika. And the first day I'm like, I don't know what it is with this woman, but I'm going to be friends with her for the rest of my life. And keep in mind, I'm 17, not stepping in wisdom at all. And I'm like, what's going on? And I start hanging out with her every single day from the day we hung out. I hung with her. I hung out with her every single day ever since.

The first time I go to her house, I got triggered because her parents were together and not triggered. Like I was jealous, but I was like, what's going on? I don't know this. This, this is weird. Her parents were together. They would eat at a table together. They would do chores together. They would pray with one another. And I was like, and they were also a little too nice to one another.

to where I was like still playful but a little too nice to where I was like you're so right yeah so I'm witnessing the operation of her family in the way that they're working with one another and I'm about I'm witnessing this for about two weeks and just kind of hanging out nonchalantly with her whatever and I ask her one day I say what do you have that I don't have come on

I was like... Because something's different. And it wasn't out of envy or jealousy. No, you're curious. It was like out of pure curiosity of what do you have that I don't have? Because...

I'm looking at my life and I'm not really feeling it. I was going to the air force. Like what, like, what do you, what do you have that I don't? And she was like, we just have Jesus. I was like, cut, cut the cameras right now. I was like, girl, because I've, cause I've heard, like I've been to church before. I've gone to the camps, but I never went for Jesus. I just went for my friends and so I could snowboard and all that stuff. But I was like,

no, that's cat. Like, no way. Right. And I just kept asking questions because I was like, what do you mean Jesus? Yeah. Like I see you got a cross in your house. I've, I've had a cross in my house. Like, yeah. You're also like, don't we, I don't know. Right. Like I never understood that. And little by little, she started to tell me about Jesus.

and i was like i was infatuated you know and i wasn't like fully sold yet but i was curious to ask questions i wanted to know mustard seed babe so about a few weeks ago by me asking questions she's answering and she's like passionately answering she's like i've been waiting my whole life i love this i love this it was so beautiful and then one day i'm over at her house and her mom's

It's like, hey, Emmy. And keep in mind, I didn't talk to her mom like that. She was like, hey, I need to come talk to you. And I was like, oh, man. She probably – I used to smoke, like, really bad. So I was like, she probably saw me smoking. She probably think –

doing something I'm not supposed to do and so I was like she probably caught me smoking or something like that and so I go into a room you are also getting ready to be lectured or something right right so I yeah so that's just trauma speaking that someone's gonna lecture me and I'm gonna be put down because authority would just always kind of trigger me and so she brings me in the room Anika comes with and I sit down on the floor she was like I just want to tell you something real quick I'm like oh my gosh what is it and she was like Amy like I see you

and i was like i see you too mom like i see you she's like no i see you and i was like oh what do you mean by that right this woman read me like a freaking book when i tell you she started saying thoughts i've had she said certain situations that she would never the full spirit of prophecy was operating wow when i tell you she said everything that no one could it was god yeah

everything that no one can ever know. Not even, not even Anika knew because we'd even talk about that stuff yet. We didn't even talk about that stuff yet. She's saying stuff where I'm like, no one on earth would know this. And I start bawling my eyes out. She's pointing me to the heart of the father and I'm bawling my eyes out and I'm in her arms and she's just embracing me. And I'm like, nah, this is so wild. And I'm bawling my eyes out. And she was hugging me and coddling me. And in that moment,

I felt the presence of the Lord and I told him, I,

I knew that he was real and I believed it right there. And I said, I said to him, I said, I don't know what I have to do, but I'm going to do it. Yeah. And I just was in his arms. And that's like when I actually submitted to Christ. I don't know the actual day. I know. Yeah. Sometimes I'm like, I don't even know. But I got, so I got baptized about a year later. So I've known Jesus for about four years, but I've been baptized, saved for three years.

And from then, God just... Well, I got... This is a different part, but I got baptized Catholic and then left Catholicism and then went non-denominational. That's a different topic, though. Right. But it's because I just became so infatuated with Jesus and his word. And I'm just such a scholar when it comes to this. I just want to know everything. I'm like a sponge. And then God just...

started to move through me. I mean, I've been influencing for six years and I was an influencer before I was a Christian. Yeah. So I was already influencing for three years and just doing fashion stuff. And that's what I've always known. And then the Lord was like, nah, you're just going to share your heart. And so slowly I started to change my,

all of my content into Christianity stuff. And then that turned into a podcast that turned into stepping to ministry full time and then now preaching at places, which is wild. And I'm only 22 years old, which is wild. So yeah, God is good. He's so good. And you know what I love? And I feel like this is such a testimony to have like,

how the Lord truly creates us from the beginning is that you found the Lord, but you didn't lose your passions and the things that also made Emmy Emmy, which is your passion for like fashion. You know, you look at your Instagram and you look at your socials and it's so clear that you still have such a love for fashion. And yeah,

It's just such a part of who you are. And it's like literally how the Lord made you from the beginning. And what's cool is he like, he uses that as a vehicle to also glorify him. And, and, you know, like there could be people that originally come to your page because they love your fashion, which is so Emmy, but also a huge part of who you are is literally Jesus. And so it's undeniable that if people are kind of like intrigued by you through your fashion, you're also leading them to the

Oh, absolutely. Which is so cool. And I just love that that's what the Lord does. That it's like, it's not that when you come to Christ, you lose your identity or like you lose who you are or now you're bland or now you're kind of just like this stale Christian. Like, like it's not that at all. If anything, I feel like he makes us more vibrant and he, Jesus, he brings,

who we were before but like makes us better we don't lose like we're dead to the sin we're dead to the parts of us that we're trying to find validation or um worth in other things but he doesn't kill what makes us us which is our passions our love our creativity like he brings that in our journeys and like we get to walk stand like next to him like in arms with jesus but we still get to be us and he makes us

better yes I would love to add to that because God was never meant to be bland and boring and I think the majority of the time he's beautiful this is where I get really confused and it's a wicked spirit that's coming against creation because here's the thing we're supposed to be the head of everything that's happening there is pretty much like seven pillars of like how our world works in that's

the government, entertainment, marriage, all these things, right? Creativity, all these things like there's like pillars that make up society. Sure. We're supposed to rule that because God has given us dominion and authority of the earth so we can fulfill his promise and his will. So why is it whenever I put on a really cool outfit, it's worldly. This is for the glory of God. Yeah. Who said I was supposed to be boring and wear jeans from what's that? What's that story? American Eagle. Sure. Abercrombie. Right. Like,

Nothing against them. Like, praise God. Y'all getting your bread. But at the same time. No, but it is actually so clear with like your fashion. You are like, you're not only set apart. And actually, this is the word that, this is a word that the Lord gave me while I was on the plane last night. But this applies to totally you. And like, I think what he's doing in people like us in this generation with this revival that is happening is he's also setting us apart from the world. Yes. But we are also being set apart from God.

like what Christians yeah the church within within the community I'm sorry but like he's like no you are still my daughter and I still want you to love fashion and still it is still glorifying him absolutely what do you mean like I only have the only

only reason i have a creative bone in my body it's because of him because of god it's so funny because someone came up oh it was chloe while we were at zack's and she was like i just want like how do you get your outfit ideas i was like i've always just known what i've wanted to wear since i was a kid yeah i don't look on pinterest even people ask me on instagram like where do you get your stuff like the the most the farthest i will go was on pinterest yeah where i mostly get my creativity

I kid you not, is walking outside. Yeah. Like, I know what I want to wear when I walk outside, when I'm walking, when I'm seeing other people. Like, I just go based off of what God created. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And I think a lot of the times we see it as like worldly. But I want to say this because people are always like, oh, be set apart, be set apart, be set apart. We are called to be set apart. But the Bible also says that we're the salt of the earth. Mm-hmm.

So, sorry y'all, actually, I'll just acknowledge it. Our cameras died, but we're back. Yeah, we're back and we're better than ever. But I wanted to point out to this in the Gospels in Matthew 5. We're going to start in verse 13. It says, You're the salt of the earth, but if the salt loses its saltiness, how could it be made salty again? It's no longer good for anything except to...

to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead, they put it on its stand and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. I really don't believe

that our God is a God who's meant to have limitations and I think we put God in this box of oh he's only meant to shine in church he's only meant to shine when I talk about the Bible God is supposed to shine in every area it says in Romans that even nature is evident to his creation how much more could the t-shirt be that I'm wearing I literally want my outfit to represent God I want

everything I do, my passions, the things that God has instilled in my heart as a little girl to glorify him because these passions are his. Yes. And people want to put it in a box too that like that has to look a certain way. Like you were saying, Abercrombie jeans and a white t-shirt. And it's like, why are we making

making God so small. Right. And it's so funny because I told this to Clarissa last night. I said, I wonder if people would take me a little more seriously if I wore, if you were wearing a blazer and some slacks and you were a little like more bland, I guess it's because that's what stereotypically right. God told me from the beginning of my journey with him, he said, I've called you to break strongholds and stereotypes. Yes. This is kingdom right here. Yeah.

If God is a God that we cannot put limitations on, how much more would he keep his children in bondage and in sin? He wants us to explore our creativity and the things that he's put within our hearts. To express ourselves. Not to make them idols, but to express the goodness of God. And I think sometimes it can become really perverted when people associate it with the world. And when I hear people say, oh, this is so worldly, you're giving the world more credit. Right.

than what Jesus has created how about it was Jesus's to begin with right and then the world perverted it and now we're labeling like like it's the world but it was actually his from the beginning so now we are reclaiming what was already his we're taking back with ours just fashion ain't the world's music isn't the world's culture doesn't have to be the world's why can't we just bring it all back to Jesus

Everything. Every little thing. I've had enough. Yeah. It's everything is meant to glorify God. Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Let us let everything that we, everything that has breath, the things that we're putting our hands into, the things that we're making, let it praise the Lord. And you got to think like how you just said, these things are being used for wickedness, being used to infiltrate. But why does it have to be? Exactly that. Let's bring it back.

and that's what it means to be the light right yeah to let it shine upon others to be the salt of the earth yeah and i think sometimes we'll be like oh be set apart be set apart be set apart but being set apart doesn't mean to isolate because isolate is putting yourself in a box and throwing it to the bottom of an ocean yep we're called to be set apart we're called to be on the same place the lamp i'm putting it under a bowl isolation yeah no you put it

On a stand. On a stand. On a stand. For it to light the whole room. And that's literally funny because if you think of a stand, it's something that's above something, right? So you got to think. It's elevated. It's elevated. Well, this table is different than the platform that it's on. And because of that,

it literally is set apart because it's two different things. Do you get what I'm saying? Yes. But it's created in the same realm, meaning that it's also the salt of the earth. So I think a lot of people just to keep it simply don't understand the Bible and what Jesus is saying. Or we're not looking at it with enough depth. And I don't think we're looking at it...

surface and I really don't believe Jesus. I'm going to say it the way that it is. I really don't believe that people want God to be good. I believe that people want God to be mean, scary and full of wrath. And people don't actually want to believe that he is good and wants us to operate in creativity and operate in the giftings that he's given us. I think a lot of people feel full of shame and guilt. And instead of figuring that out, that's how you're supposed to feel in front of the father, right? Like the fear of the Lord, right?

Like they have it twisted. Right. And it's because of trauma. Yeah. Most of the time. And I think that's why I don't get so angry with people. I get so angry with the spirit behind it. We shouldn't. Yeah. Because this isn't a battle of flesh and blood. Right. Exactly what Ephesians 6 says. It's not flesh and blood. It's principalities. It's the spirits operating in the dark realm. And that's why we have to armor up each and every single day.

God's goodness is so good that he wants that to shine in every area. We can't put limitations on that. Is there times for conviction? Is there times to where fashion could be come corrupted and over sexualized? Absolutely. We've seen it. Our job and authority and dominion is to take it back into the heart of the father and have him speak it back into existence. And then we infiltrate it in

faith. So it's just a matter of us taking back what's ours. And I hate, I hate seeing the Christian space claiming that they can't take back the thing that God has already promised us. We got the keys, we got the kingdom and we're here. It's written. It's done because he's in us. Yeah. It's literally that. I just hate how much we, how much credit we give to the secular space and how much credit we give to the world because we're

It literally says that we are the head and not the tail. We're above and not beneath. Are we not taking that seriously? We are daughters and sons of the king. Like, do you believe that? Do you believe that? I really do believe that people think there is such a thing as humility, but being broken, being in a posture of humility is not the same thing. Yeah.

Being broken in a posture and a humility. That's what I meant to say, not broke. But even that too, I think people believe that, oh, I'm supposed to be in poverty because I'm a Christian. What? What do you mean? That's not supposed to happen. The Lord wants to give you his riches. He wants you to stay humble, but he doesn't want you to suffer. Second Peter actually says that his will for us is second Peter. I want to say five something, but it says his will for us is not for anyone of us to perish, but for us to have eternal life.

And that's God's will for each and every single one of us. Not for us to perish, but for us to have eternal life. And when we touch and agree with his goodness,

we have the same inheritance. Thank you, Holy Spirit. I think it's somewhere in Romans and it talks about how we are co-heirs of Christ. You're on fire with Romans. I know Romans all today, but somewhere in Romans, it says that we're co-heirs of Christ, meaning that we share his glory. And yes, we also share his sufferings, but I think people like hyper-focus on, oh, we share his sufferings. But,

have you forgotten we share his glory yeah we share his glory yeah and that doesn't mean we get to be prideful and put things above the presence that's never going to be a thing that god wants us to do but god wants us to enjoy the things that he's put in our hearts yeah because it glorifies him yeah not because it glorifies us so if i were to god's always put always put fashion in my heart he'll kill it as soon as i make it about me yeah that's how god is yeah

He'll water it though when I'm making it about him. Just let your heart posture change and let it be for the things of God and he'll bless it. Because I told you last night, God will give you the desires of your heart under his conditions because he has already predestined us with blessings.

passions, with a purpose. He's instilled those things into us since we are a little girl or a little boy. God has already put those things within our hearts. It's just us not perverting it, making it prideful, putting it on an altar and worshiping it. It's putting it at the feet of the Father and saying, God, you have given me these talents. You have given me this creativity. How do you want me to steward this? Does that make sense? So I think God is so good that he does give us these things. I think it's a matter of taking it back.

because that's what it's about it's taking it back yeah I love that thank you God God take it back what would you say is is that something you've experienced to where you felt like you've had something we were like oh I've just always loved this and then maybe when you came to Christ you were like oh shoot I have to give this up but then God was actually like no I want to use you I feel like I know what it is okay

Well, I think, and I haven't even stepped into this yet, but I know that it's what the Lord is going to be doing with my life is I've always loved being in front of people. I've always loved to be...

I don't want to say the center of attention because that sounds like... A leader. Yeah, but yes. A leader. God, put me on stage. Like, put me in the spotlight. Let me lead. Like, let me be in front of people, you know? Let me be on the red carpets. Let me be in interviews. Let me be on the Drew Barrymore show. Like, whatever it is. Like, I'm like, Lord, take me there. But before I knew God, it was obviously very self-motivated. Right. You know? Like, I was like, but I want to be. Yeah. But...

it's not that that wasn't who I was. Like I've always had that embedded in me. I knew that the Lord like had made me from the beginning, someone to be special and like set apart and like in the spotlight and be a leader and to be a leader. But it was just like, we keep saying this word, but it was so perverted in the beginning and twisted where I, it was very self-motivated. And so when I started to step into my faith with the Lord, I thought that,

that wasn't going to be my reality anymore because I thought, well, I must have only wanted those things because it was out of selfish motive, you know? And so, but the thing was, is I really did come into peace and this is full surrender where I said, you know what, God, even if I'm never an actor, cause I've always like dreamt about being in movies. I'm like, God, I think I want to like, I think I want to sing. I think I want to be like,

on stages. I don't know how you do it, but I think I need to be and I want to be. But I almost was like, man, maybe that was just me like being all about Allie and maybe that's not how the Lord is going to use me. And so I literally surrendered it. And I was like, God, if I never act, if I never sing, if I'm never on a stage, like if I'm never on a red carpet, if I'm never in an interview, like I just, I've always seen these visions of me being in like, you know, crazy interviews and stuff. And I'm like, Hey, if that was just self-reliance,

me just being all boastful about myself, God, then I'm okay with that. And what I've seen him do with my heart is he's actually been like, okay, so just so you know, these desires were planted on your heart by me, not by yourself. Maybe you did have it a little twisted and it was a little self-motivated in the beginning, but I'm showing you that that was me putting that on your heart. And I am putting you in front of, I'm putting you on red carpets. I'm going to be putting you on stages. You are going to be singing. You are going to be acting. You are going to be on the Drew Barrymore show, but whatever it is,

but it's gonna be to glorify me now, not to glorify Ali Yost. And so like the way that I was like, dang God, you're so good for that because I really thought that I was gonna have to give all those things up. And so anyway, there's still a lot of that that I haven't like necessarily stepped into, but I do feel such, like I feel the peace from him that he is going to have me still do those things.

And like, how great is he for that? Yeah. You are still going to be able to do these things that you love and these passions. And like for you, it's fashion. It's like you didn't have to sacrifice or give it up, but you are willing if you need to. I had to give up a lot of stuff when it pertained to fashion. There was stuff that I wore. I'm

I'm like, yeah, y'all tripping about the shoulders. You should see what I was wearing two years ago. Girl, you would have been shaken. I was wearing some stuff that was not okay. Even if I was covering everything, even the, I'm even like aware about the brands I wear now and just kind of like stuff like that. Oh my gosh. Like I even got convicted like last month about certain brands that were in my closet. I just had to throw it out. I was like, oh my gosh, I don't care if I paid thousands of dollars for this. I have to,

take it out yeah I may or may not be speaking about Balenciaga I know I hate that because it's literally like I spent thousands of dollars on this and then I got thrown up okay yeah but I got gotta listen to that yeah I was literally convicted but the Lord did have to refine me in fashion and he had to show me what modesty was and he didn't have to take the desire away no he didn't I still wear my baggy jeans I still dress like a man when I want to just tweak it just a little bit

And I wanted to touch on something that you said of like that desire of wanting to go in front of people. I've always had that since I was a kid too. And I've always been told. From the beginning, bro. Ever since I was a kid too. My parents used to joke and be like, you were always in the camera. My parents, same thing. My parents, everyone who was around me, even teachers in school would say, you're meant to be. Like you're going to be a movie star one day. You're going to do this. You're going to do that. I was like, nah, you tripping. But I just kind of felt like something like that was going to happen for some reason. And I didn't have. I'm not.

normal like I feel like I'm supposed to be like there's like a weird calling on me yeah like there's like something very specific like I'm not I was never made to live a normal life I always knew that as a kid me too and I understand what you mean by like it wasn't like what it is now wasn't prideful but you were operating it wasn't like you were looking at yourself like you're like I'm better than everyone but you're like but I do think I'm supposed to be like

Doing something, something in that area. And I want to speak to those who are listening, who are thinking, who may be under the impression of, oh, that is still prideful being in. You shouldn't want fame. This isn't wanting fame. This is wanting to influence others. That's what it is. Which is completely different. Mm-hmm.

Ever since I was a kid, I was always wanting to be the line leader. I always wanted to serve. I always wanted to help people. And I wanted to be the main person doing it. Not because I wanted the glorification or the gratification for it, but because I enjoyed it and I knew I could get it done. It's because I knew I could get it done. I knew if I put my mind to it, I could

execute it. And I think it's so beautiful where our testimonies are similar is we started off as influencers and God made us influencers, which is of the world. And then turned us into an influence. The desire on our lives isn't to be like these TikTok influencers or to be famous or all these things. It's to be an influence and to show the embodiment and the love of Christ. And if someone's going to do it, if someone's going to do it, like,

I'm ready. I'll do it. I'll do it. And, um, wow. And it's, it's not the easiest call. No, it's definitely a hard one. Do you ever feel like you're like, but I have no other option. Like, it's not easy, but also I can't imagine myself doing anything else. Like, this is like, this is it.

This is it. This is what he made me for. Yeah. And as far as like, now I'm seeing those things come into fruition to where I'm like, okay, God's having me preach places. But here's the thing. It's not like I'm going on a stage. Like my, my physical body is going on a stage, but it's God's presence. Who's given the presentation.

It's not me going up. It's my body, but it's the presence of God that's operating through me. And I think that's so beautiful that God could use anyone or anything for him. Because I've always felt like I was a Moses of like, okay, you've called me here. But God, like, you know, I'd be stuttering at times. Like, at times, even if I'm being honest,

I knew that call was on my life before I knew Christ. And then when I found Christ and he was like, I'm still calling you to like be an influence and to be in front of a whole bunch of people. I straight up told him I didn't want it. Yeah. Because I was like, I'm fine right here. I'm very good right here. I can stay with my fashion stuff. I'm comfortable. I'm comfortable. I'm good with my, I can make my little makeup. I could do all that stuff. And he was like, no, you're meant to speak. And you've always known that in me since you were a kid that you were meant to speak. He's like, you can't deny it. It was funny because even when I was in high school, they do many like,

speech like things like uh you would give like speeches i would always win i would always there was one time where i was an ffa so where i lived like how i said it's very weird it's like half gangster and then half country okay so i'm no like if you ever go to my city one block is like the hood then the other block is a barn i kid you not like it's really wild yeah yeah so as to why i said that is because i did dabble in

being a little country girl, obviously. And so there was this thing with FFA to where we were able to like give speeches and stuff. And I did it. And every time I did it, I would get some sort of plaque. I would just like win. And I would, and I just always did a good job or even in high school, like, and we had to give a presentation or go up to the class and speak. They'd be like, Emmy got it. Emmy got it. I've always been able to just flow. Yep. And that was a God given, just like he gave you that from the beginning.

And it just happened from the beginning and then God watered it. And then whenever I found him, he was like, this is what I made you to do. And I was like, man, but the desire was never to be famous. The desire was to help people because I knew I could help people because I knew I was willing to help people. As I got closer to God, I understood the depths of the fire of it. And, you know, if he told me the fire from the jump, I would have been like, oh,

You know? Yeah, we've said that. Yeah, like, if we had known before, I don't know. I don't know, because, y'all, on a serious note, there's a lot of fire you gotta go through in order to step right here, but it's all worth it for the glory of God. It is. So, yeah, just know that your gifts are never done in vain. It's just a matter of you stepping out of agreement with the world,

reading your word, stepping into his presence, knowing what he says about you, stepping into your authority and claiming the goodness of God over your life. You're not meant to be put in a box. It's, it's never meant to be that way. What you said earlier, I believe God is using me and you specifically. And if you other people we know, um,

To change what Christianity looks like. Absolutely. Culture. Yeah. It's literally that is we're taking back what rightfully belongs to God. And we don't speak that out of ego. This is like, no, this is literally what the Father is telling us. This is what God is telling us. And this is what he wants. Right. Everyone needs to be saved.

God has placed us in areas that no one else can touch. I say this all the time, like, cause we were influencers. Uh, I got to tell this story real quick, how we were at the same brand event. Yeah. And like, we'd even know when like, we were just like planning seeds, three glasses into champagne. Right. But like, bless her heart. But it's crazy because we were in the same place. You were, you were in three glasses of champagne, but I was planning seeds. Yeah. I was going like crazy, which is wild. But what's so beautiful is that God has put us in those areas because I don't,

just like the Coachella thing, like you guys aren't going to Coachella to party. No. You're going to evangelize. I would pray about events that I got invited to and if God said yes, I would go and I would plant seeds. And it's...

it's not because I'm trying to party with Tyga and all these people. Like I could care less. It's because only fans models need Jesus. Instagram baddies need Jesus. Your favorite TikToker needs Jesus. Twitch streamers, they need Jesus. And you need someone who looks like me to tell them that. Because they're not going to take a girl. Not only because you play the part or look the way, but because you also were there. Yeah.

Like, I honestly, I actually don't, I, because we haven't actively gone out to Coachella yet. I can't even imagine what I'm going to be feeling going on the grounds and like going to these events. You're going to see people. We're not even going to Coachella. We are like, this is, this is the grace of God. This is what he is capable of.

We are still being invited to the same events that I was invited to when I was in the world. I am still being invited to those events. As a Christian. Exclusive, as a full-blown Christian. You look at my content, you know it's all Jesus. And I am still being invited. Should I? Probably not.

Probably to the standards of the world, I probably shouldn't be invited. God's gonna use you. He said we're gonna evangelize. But that is his grace and that is his sovereignty where he's like, nah, I'm gonna make sure my children are there so that we can spread his goodness. But like the only reason I hold any authority to speak on whatever comes out of my mouth is through the power of the Holy Spirit. But my testimony is,

Because I literally was just there last year, only knowing the Lord for like three months. So I was walking, running around naked. Like I was like everyone else. I was taking my shots. I was drinking. I was whatever because I just didn't know yet. I was still so new in my journey. But the reason I can talk,

talk about this. Yeah. And like help people and speak to them the same way you can too when you go to these events is because I see you. I was there. I see you. I see you because I was there. Yeah. Like glory to God. Thank you Jesus. Like that's so beautiful. Right. Like we're not going into these environments being like

Like, yeah, so I was born and raised Christian and I've known the Lord from the beginning. And you know what? There is nothing wrong with that testimony. Like if you are that and you were sitting here and you were. Praise God. Praise God. That's what I want my children to have. You were saved from so much trauma and gunk from the world. Like, thank you, Jesus, that there are people who have testimonies where they have known Christ since they were little babies. And honestly, I plan that for my children. Me too. I plan that heavily for my children one day. And we seal that. They will know Jesus from the beginning. They know how to talk.

know so there's nothing wrong with that but we're not those kind of christians walking into these environments there's so much more of a witness to our story being like sister i see you right now because i was that 12 months ago you know and like what power like that glorifies the lord so much that we get to walk into these environments dressing modestly but still being cute can we talk about that too like i can't wait to walk into these events and not showing off my tatas and i know people are gonna be like she got a cute outfit on but she's glowing yeah

gonna be giving emmy before she found the lord where it's like what do you have that i don't what is that yeah i can't wait there's a different energy when you walk in the spirit because what an honor it's funny because because obviously i dress the way i dress but it's still modest so i still wear baggy clothes and stuff that's like really awesome and just like i just i just love fashion right but it gravitates people towards me who wouldn't necessarily be gravitated towards the everyday christian at you and they're like

Like, oh, that's a Christian dripping in the Holy Spirit. Right. There's no way. Like, oh, her outfits. She's like, she's not. They're talking to me. And then all of a sudden, Jesus. Well, I say probably like if you talk to me ever, if anyone talks to me within the first five seconds, you're going to hear Jesus come out. Absolutely. You're going to know who my daddy is as soon as you meet me. Yeah. And so when people would meet me, oh, I like your outfit. Oh, praise God. That's literally how I be, you know, and.

Then they're just kind of like, you're not the traditional Christian. I it's breaking the stereotypes. Same thing. What do you have that I don't have? And I didn't know. Wait a minute. You can be a Christian and do this. You can be a Christian and look like this. Right. I love it. It's breaking stereotypes. Come on. And tradition and religion in the mighty name of Jesus. The whole reason as to why Jesus came in the first place. Like we're called to wash feet. Mm hmm.

I'm washing feet by showing people a piece of Jesus that they never saw. Yeah. Of, Hey, like you haven't seen this. Let me invite you and wash your feet in it. You're not meant to be put in a box. You're meant not meant to be put in a corner. You're meant to fully be a full representative of Christ and whatever passions God has instilled within your heart. Let's chop out all the vines and all the weeds and all the things that aren't good. Like let's,

let's just get that out. But besides that, like let's cultivate the real thing that God has placed deep inside of you. I think when people see like you're wearing something modest, but going somewhere to evangelize, like there's something different about you and I can't put my finger on it. And people will tell you, I don't know how often you, well, we've gotten this together of like people who don't know the Lord just come up to us. Like you just have such good energy. Yeah. It's always the vibe. It's always the vibe. You have such a good vibe. It's the Holy spirit. Yeah. And then,

This is something I always say. I'm like, it's so funny that people don't believe in the Lord, but they'll walk in a room and say that the energy's off. Girl, what? Or like you're clearly acknowledging that there is a vibe or an energy about us. That is good. But it can't be God. And it's good. And who determines good? Right. Like there's someone who determines it and then there's someone who makes it. So I just think God...

a very strategic way of the way that he plants seeds and uses his children to evangelize. Yeah. And we have to stop putting his plans, his strategies in a box. Yeah. And to our own understanding. He's the shot caller. Yeah. We're just meant to obey it. Yeah. So. God's good. God's good. Bro, this was awesome. No, really good. I loved this. No, this was, I'm like, girl, I could keep going. I'm like. I know.

Like, dang, this was really good. Thank you so much for just being vulnerable and like sharing all of that about your testimony. I love you. I'm so proud of you for everything that you've come from. Like praise God. Yeah. Praise God. It's literally like, um, was it Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego going through the fire? They had to turn it up seven times and they still left not feeling, not smelling like smoke or having anything burnt off of them. And it, and it said that people even watched them go through the fire, um,

I had to go through the fire and come out not smelling like smoke so people know that God could do the same in other people's lives. Wow. That I've touched the pit. Yeah. But God gave me the keys to the palace. That's my story. Yeah, it's amazing. And that's where God wants to take anyone who's listening. Like, if this is your first time here and you, like, feel like you're in a pit, God is urging you to believe that you have a place, a bedroom, a space. Mm-hmm.

in the palace and he wants to take you there it's just a matter of touching and agreeing and saying yes to him and it doesn't take much it starts with receiving his love just fall in love with him that's it just fall in love with him and he'll change

everything just seek his face just get to know his heart he's the prize he is it's that and he's the reward he's the everything once you lock eyes everything else just starts to unveil it's so good god is good thank you guys so much for tuning in also emmy i know i kind of already spoke it's saved not soft is her podcast but where else can everybody if they've never heard of emmy more where can they find oh my gosh i should have plugged you on mine i didn't even think about that i don't i don't have

guess on so I don't think it oh I need to plug them real quick okay so you can find me I gotta plug myself Twitter no no I actually don't have Twitter anymore I don't either Twitter's scary it's like literally demonic well it's not even called Twitter no more it's called x bye what's going on and it's black with an x it's demonic it's given

I want nothing to do with that. Yeah. But you can find me on Instagram, Emmy Moore, E-M-Y-M-O-O-R-E-E. And on TikTok, Emmy Moore 3. And then as far as my podcast, it's Save Not Soft Podcast on YouTube. And then on Instagram and TikTok, Save Not Soft Podcast. Are you not on Spotify or Apple? Yeah, I am too. Okay, good. Yeah. Okay. Spotify and Apple, Save Not Soft. Okay.

Okay, perfect. Not Save Not Soft podcast, but Save Not Soft. Okay, great. And then that's that. Okay, perfect. Yay. Thank you so much. But yeah, that's, if y'all want to, you know. Yeah, y'all find her. She's lit. If you're ready for like some fire and flames and just, if you're trying to be convicted. Yeah, let me warn y'all real quick. Let me warn y'all real quick because I am. Well, Save Not Soft speaks enough. Yes. But like it's exactly what it sounds like. That is the ministry. We're straight. We're straight, but we're not. I'm not straight. We're not soft, girl. There ain't no fluff here, yeah. Right. But it's with love. It's good. Absolutely. We all need that.

If you're ready to be convicted and you're in a posture to where you know you need that conviction and you need a step up and you're tired of kind of people beating around the bush and quite honestly, the prosperity gospel. There's too much of it anyway in the world. Oh my gosh. Right. In the Christian space, there's so much fluff. There's lives on the stake to beat around the bush of the gospel. And what my ministry, the goal of it is to know that you're heard, seen and loved by Christ. Heard, seen and loved so much that...

the truth has to be said under any circumstance even if it may sting just a little but come if you're ready if you're not ready for it and you need to just like be

like refined behind the scenes like but i'm not saying that my podcast ain't full of love but it is a lot of conviction and it's a lot of mature topics but i'm so proud of you oh i'm proud of you girl i love you i love you so much hey well i also like to say this thing where we do a little outro well first off just thank you guys so much for tuning in i hope that this touched so many hearts and you guys enjoyed it hopefully there are plenty more episodes of me and emmy together in the

future. In Jesus' name. This will not be the only one. No, there's no way. Yeah, there's no way. There's no way. But thank you guys for tuning in. Hey, can we actually do something really cool today, y'all? Can we just show somebody how cool Jesus is? Come on! Can we show somebody how cool Jesus is today? Come on, assignment! I think that it's great to, and this is what I've been saying, but season three has been giving boldness. I feel like that's the overall theme of this season particularly because

up until this point I've always said you know show his compassion show his love show somebody Jesus just the way that you radiate just be kind right yeah but and I said this a bit on on the episode that we did for save not soft but we need to start speaking his name we need to start saying his name Jesus can we show how cool

he is but also can we start saying his name come on let's start showing people the good news but telling them the good news like speaking his name and telling people where they can receive true real actual freedom which is through christ so can we be a little bold yeah yes come on i love you guys thank you for tuning in i will see you next friday we love emmy bye everybody

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