BONUS EPISODE: I Want To Have Real Friends
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Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Christ with Coffee on Ice. I am your host, Allie Yost. Surprise! We have a bonus episode today, and it's exciting because I have two of my closest friends, Karu and Ashley, here. We're celebrating...

One year of Christ with Coffee on Ice, guys. Today, September 29th, is our official one year. And so we thought, what better way than to have Christ with Coffee on Ice cream? Hello? There's a name for it. Ashley knows it. It's called an affogato. It's an affogato. Order it from your local coffee shop. Yeah. And we put sundaes.

together and we're gonna pour our coffee on it but I wanted to just surprise you guys with this episode I know we don't normally upload on these days we upload every Friday but I'm really excited and we don't really have a plan we're really just gonna follow the spirit and yeah so I'm really excited and the space is cool do you like this space it eats it eats

It's a vibe. It's a vibe. This is honestly, this episode's iconic. But thank you for having us on. This right here is iconic. We haven't all been on a pod yet. Whoa. Together at once. So we've all been on each other's. Wow, you're right. So like this is. Yeah, you guys have been on my podcast. I'm just kidding. I don't have one. It's the way everyone thinks Ashley has a podcast. Everyone's like, I love your podcast. In the spirit, she already has one. In the future. It's just so funny. She does. But the three of us.

- Wow. - It's my favorite space. So I wanna just honor y'all and thank you so much for being here. Like your yes means so much to me. Thank you for just putting so much work into helping us put all this together today. And I just love y'all. - Of course. - I do.

this by myself, celebrating the one. I mean, I know I have all of y'all, but it's just would have been like, I needed you guys. My vision was like Karu and Ashley. So I'm excited to see what the Lord does. It's an honor. I feel before getting in, I want to look at the success of your pod. Like, could you give some analytics on where the, what the Lord has done in a year? Cause I think a lot of people have, you know, these dreams and aspirations on their heart that

you know, the Lord's given them. And because you had one and you said, yes, like, look what it's become. So I want you to just like share like the analytics of, you know, your charts and listens and all that fun stuff. Thanks, Guru. I like don't really look at that. I don't actually even really know what they would be on the top of my head, but I will share some things that I know we have learned

We're like in six figures when it comes to the amount of downloads. So I know we're in the hundreds of thousands of downloads. I know that we've even been number one in the category of what was it? Spirituality and religion. Come on.

Uh, top three. Yeah. I, we reached the top 100 in overall podcasts. That's for every category in the U S and that all happened in under a year. So yeah, those things, I don't, I don't know. I don't ever want it to be the reason that I do it, but obviously it's still glory to the Lord. And so that's nothing to like boost myself on. I think that's just the power of God.

That is the power of God that I started this podcast from a place of him telling me to do it. And I was just doing it out of obedience. And then he just, he's the one boosting it. And so thank you, crew. That's really, that's really kind. But yeah, it's been crazy. The response has been insane. Yeah. At least I remember when you first started your pod, I didn't even know you. Yeah. This is so full circle. Yeah. I didn't even know. I think we need to give people.

- We're gonna give people a background of our friendship. - Also, should we start eating our ice cream? - Yeah, we can. Let's get it, yeah, yeah, yeah, 'cause it's melting, you're right Ash. - Are we just going to look at it? - But let's talk about how our friendships came about while we start eating our ice cream. - Mine look like pudding. - Guys, if we, some of y'all are not watching, but I will describe that Karu's looks a lot more janky than ours. - Let me give an ASMR.

Please pause the episode and fast forward. That was not it, bro. Okay, guys, mine is the healthiest of all. You're better than us. But we do need to pour eventually upon Allie's

Yeah, we'll wait for the moment. We're going to pour the espresso over there. Wait, guys. I'm so grateful. Whatever you call it. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. What did she just say? We all have to do it at the same time. Okay. So, Karu, how did you meet Ashley and us? Yeah, we need to go back. Like, how did we even come to know Karu Ellington? El Espiritu Santos.

That's crazy. Moving here, everyone's like, how do you know someone? So I'm like, literally the Lord. No, like how else? Yeah, it's like really crazy. It's right though. It's the Lord. It's a podcast that really honestly just brought us together because I remember staying up one night and I just felt the Lord was just giving me a lot of creative direction and vision as you once felt with your podcast. And I just started writing down a bunch of people's names who I like wanted to, you know, be on my pod. And again, we didn't even like know each other. Yeah. So Holy Spirit just dropped your name in.

And then I remember calling you that next day and you were so down and we talked on the phone for what, three hours? - So I was also there. - Creeping. - I was on my way over to, well, we were talking for so long. - No, no, we were physically together on my porch steps. - Right, so when Karu and I started our conversation, it was going on for so long that I had to physically get in my car and go over to Ashley's 'cause we had plans that night. So we're still on the phone.

hours later I pull up to Ashley's I get out of my car I'm sitting on her stoop and she's like who are you on the phone with for decades on end and then Ashley jumped in and so now all three of us are on the phone so anyway that was when that happened and I actually recorded a video of this

For real? Yeah, I recorded it. You did? Yeah. Of us all on the phone? Yeah. You always in the spirit with something like that. I was like, I feel like we're going to remember this. Wow. That's crazy. Because I didn't really know if we were... Like, I didn't really know how close we would all get. But then... Look at us now. But then it's the way that when God wants you to...

Do something or be in a relationship or be in a friendship like he will expedite it. He'll make sure it happens So then what happened after on this phone call what happened like literally what week after I? Literally pulled to Nashville which you just so happened to have only lived like two hours two hours from Nashville Which I had no idea where you lived in y'all both live there pull up. It's the same time as your book release and

Which is crazy. Yeah. Book release, podcast, all the things. And we were just inseparable since. But I think also before going to- We were like best friends immediately. Before I even came to Nashville, I think we FaceTimed like every day. And we fasted together, y'all. We fasted together. We didn't even know each other. No, it's the way.

The first day that I actually saw you in person, I was in my book launch, like, dress. Yeah. Like, I was... Yeah. We were going to my book launch. That is so funny. Homeboy shows up and is, like, a real one for just being there. Like, all of my friends from college are there, like, in their cruise.

And then I just thought of this. And then not only did it start her book launch, but it's your first time singing in public. It's almost like God wanted our friendship to be together. Right. Starting these like new beginnings. And not only. Oh, Holy Spirit. Wow.

Not only did it start your singing, but also started the next season of my podcast. So we all came together at the perfect time for your book launch, for you to start your career with singing for my pod. Like God wanted us to do the next season together. And he wanted us all to witness that for each other. Isn't that crazy? Crew, stop. The Lord is so cool. Cause he could have introduced us like a week later. Yeah. You know? It's the timing. Why at that time? Yeah. It's the timing.

It seems so like intentional of the Lord. Yeah. There was definitely an urgency. Something about God's plan is it just like works out so perfectly. And I was talking with a friend about this yesterday. It's like, you know, you're in God's will whenever everything around you, your circumstances are not necessarily good, but you still have an unwavering peace. Right. It's like a peace that surpasses all understanding. Like you shouldn't have one, honestly, but you do. Right.

Right. Yeah. And I think I've been feeling that a lot lately, especially moving here. And that's a whole nother topic we're going to have to get into. Well, we have to share how we all move together. But also going off of that, you also know you're in God's will when it's coming together without you even having to try. Like it's like they're falling together and you're like,

what the heck? The three of us becoming best friends, we didn't, I did not intentionally wake up one day and be like, I need to become best friends with these two people. No, no. God just did it. Yeah. So I feel like that might be, you know, a word for someone listening is like, if it's just coming together and you ain't even having to try, that is God. Well, I was going to ask, I think you kind of answered that as like, if somebody was listening to this and they had that question of like, okay, how, so you guys just jumped into it with your friendships. Like it was like,

Kind of intense, but it just, it was the Lord, you know, we're praying together. We're fasting together. We haven't even physically met one another. How do you, okay. That's kind of crazy. But how do you know the difference between that and like something like love bombing? Cause you know what that is where it's like, somebody's just coming in really strong. It's kind of,

There shouldn't be any of that in the Christian world. I've experienced that more so when I was in the world is just people who is just like a lot of flattery. Yeah. But how do you know that that's from the Lord? Like that intensity, that like expediting friendship? How do you know that's from God versus like, I don't know, just getting excited or I don't know, just throwing all of your trust into somebody too quickly. Hmm.

I think one is discernment. So I think when something is of the Lord, there's going to be an unwavering peace, just as Guru said. Like you guys brought so much good fruit to my life and peace. But I think if anything is causing like confusion or anxiety and stress, or it's not bringing good fruit of the spirit, so love, joy, peace, patience. Like if something is not of the fruits of the spirit,

and it's brought into your life, that might not be from God, you know? But you guys brought love, joy, peace, patience. You guys made me more on fire for Jesus. God would not send people into your life who would make you farther away from him. - That's so good, Ash.

If someone's sent into your life who's making you farther away from God, that's not from God. Yeah. That's actually what I was going to add. Because that's what y'all do for me. Like we are like, how can we seek Jesus more today? Yeah. That's huge. The way you know if it's a really a true godly friendship or even relationship, just anything, is if that person is constantly pointing you back to the feet of Jesus and not to their feet. Right.

And I think that's what I've seen in our friendship is if we were continually pointing back self to do this for me and this for me and why didn't you show up for me this way? Why weren't you here for me in this way? Yeah. So in that it's like you really know what's the godly friendship when it's, you know, pointing back to Jesus. But I also do want to touch on like sacrifice and friendship because like you talked about, like,

we pursue friendships when there's peace, but also I think there's, there's been times in friendship where we have to press on even in the midst of anxiousness and friendship isn't perfect. And I, and I want to like everyone to hear that so clearly that friendship isn't perfect. And there's times that there's like confusion, but,

the way that you diminish the confusion is by, all right, we're all going to sit down and we're going to give it to God because we, after Nashville, continuing on, we, what do we, I, that's so crazy. I told you, I was like, I said, Hey, I'm actually going to be filming for some other people in California. And you're like, no way we're going to California too. I said, what date? You said middle of, was it March? It was, it was at the end of February, beginning of March.

Crazy. Like first week of March mainly. And I said, no way, me too. So you need to say that for the people in the back. The fact that you had already planned a trip. Yeah. And it just like. Yeah, because you thought of Ash and I for the pod, but you were also making a list of other people to have on the podcast who are based out of LA. Crazy. And so obviously you were like, you linked up with us and then you're telling us the rest of the people you had planned. And we were like, I'm sorry. Yeah.

we're going out to LA because that's when we were going on Girls Gone Bible. Yeah. And that's what started our whole journey with us being like, God, do you want us to move here? What's going on? So that was crazy that we were, you were like, I'm going and we were like, we're going. At the same time, you guys, we are not making, God's timing is perfect. It's actually,

undeniable. And my dude was at the send at the same time as us. And we didn't meet. That's where it started. And I knew he was at the send because some of my followers were like, oh my gosh, Karu Ellington's also there. Which we need to touch on. And I knew that, I knew about Karu because we're all in the same like niche. Yeah, we were all mutuals online. But I knew he was there, but it's the way that we all put our sneakers in the air and we're like. Tell them what the send is for people who don't know. The send is about, it's something with circuit riders and

Harvest Sound was involved with helping it be set up in Nashville. And there's a part of the send where the guy is on- Christian conference about being sent out on a mission. Yes, yes. Thank you so much for that. And then there's a part in the conference towards the end where the guy is like, all right, guys, everyone put your shoes in the air and say, Lord, send me. And here, Allie and I, we put our shoes up in the air at the same time. We're like, God,

And Karu's probably doing it too. Karu's doing it too. Just somewhere else. On the opposite side. Were you on the floor? And yet, after that, we are all sent. After that, we are all sent to be together on mission in the same city. Because it's the way that we had other opportunities to meet. Like, we could have met at the send. If the Lord wanted it. And passion. Weren't you a passion? Yeah. I was a passion. We didn't meet. You were a passion? Yeah. We went to fashion. Yeah. So, it's just...

I feel like something we need to remember in just our story as an example of that is that God's timing is so perfect that there were opportunities for us to meet, but for some reason it didn't happen. It didn't happen at Passion. It didn't happen at The Send. We had to meet the way that we did. And I just think that's so interesting. The way that God is like, he's so specific with like timing and timing.

It's just funny to like reflect and think about all the different like environments and places that we literally were in the same room for, but there apparently wasn't a grace for us to connect yet. Yeah, I like what you said just about the Lord and knowing what season that we're in. Like, because specifically for me, like before I remember going to the sin, I was just like in like a dark place. I was just in a season of isolation. And I just remember like praying to the Lord like for, I remember looking out into the crowd and just seeing people worship the Lord in a way that I've never seen before.

And it was almost like, you know, I'll use the example of like you and Ash. It's like you know a lot of stuff about her. Yeah. It's like if some random people came up to you and started telling you things that you didn't even know about her. You're like, I thought you were my best friend. And I felt that way by the way that people were worshiping Jesus. I knew that they saw a side of his face that I've never seen. And I was like, God, it is time for me to sit under deeper community because I have community at home, but like deeper.

More. It's just really just my family and like a couple friends. So God, I want to be under rich community and rich teaching. Like that would show me sides of your face that I've never seen. So God was intentional. I don't know where you guys were in that season leading up to the send, but I was in a dark place and like the Lord like brought our friendship at such a perfect time. Yeah.

Oh, it's such a clutch off-season pickup, Dave. I was worried we'd bring back the same team. I meant those blackout motorized shades. Blinds.com made it crazy affordable to replace our old blinds. Hard to install? No, it's easy. I installed these and then got some from my mom. She talked to a design consultant for $40,000.

So, wait, crew, I like that you were just sharing about, like, where you were at at that time. I think we should share about where we were at, too, just to reflect and see how different we were at that time versus when we all met.

And maybe we're kind of trying to put like, that makes sense why the Lord wouldn't have introduced us at that time versus when he did introduce us to like see that contrast. So thank you for sharing that. Thank you for being vulnerable and just sharing like where you were at in that moment, crew. Ash, where do you, like, where do you think you were at in that moment of time? Yeah. Like just in life, maybe spirituality too, but like where were we at that time? Cause that was what guys, January? When was that? January, February. Okay. Okay.

February was a send. So I actually was in this season for a long time and I remember opening up to Ali about this at Passion.

But I felt like I was waking up to the same day. Like I was reliving the same day. And yes, like talk about like being in a waiting season. Like literally guys, my life was the same every day. I would do the same thing. I would go to bed and be like, I literally did the same thing yesterday. And that happened for months. Just like...

being faithful, faithful, faithful, faithful, like in the little things every single day, spending time with God every single day, going to my job every single day, but like nothing was changing. And I remember just being like, Lord, you put so many dreams on my heart and I know you've given me vision, but like,

It's where is it? Like when is it all going to happen? So that was where I was. I was like just being faithful in the mundane. Yeah, so you kind of felt like you were just like living the same routine every day without these dreams and visions that you had, but it was like not happening. I was like, God, if this is how my life is going to be, okay. Like I will – even if I never see my dreams ever happen, I will still be faithful to you. Yeah. Yeah.

Wow, that's good, Ash. It's hard to say. I mean, you were faithful. And honestly, that's the most important thing. Like whatever the season is, we just need to stay faithful to God and trust that even if that season is uncomfortable or confusing, that there's a reason we're in it. Like there was a reason I actually have a very good theory as to why you kind of had to sit in that because I was coming. I was coming to Nashville. You hadn't met me yet.

But because I feel like once we met is when everything started to change. Yeah, it's so true. You were living this kind of mundane, like same routine, nothing bad, but it was just kind of like, okay, I'm seeing the same day over and over again. And I almost feel like maybe the Lord was kind of stalling you until I got to Nashville. Obviously there's fruit in it too. He was also, he was teaching you things and being a dad. No, that's facts. It's funny because that was when I had, I had just moved to Nashville. I,

If we're saying it was in February, I was probably only living there for like two months at that point. I was like brand new. Ashley was my closest friend. And of course you were doing such... Ashley moved to Nashville. Oh my gosh. Let me just say this. This girl, this girl took me under her freaking wing. Like no one has ever done for me in my life. Like was... And not in like a, hey, come to this... Like not in like a...

Yeah. But it was like a, it was in such a loving way where she was like introducing me to people and inviting me to things and inviting me to church and just like not letting me be alone. And. She didn't even want to meet with me at first. No, I got scared. I got scared to meet Ashley. I think I've said that on the internet.

internet. I was scared. That goes back to your question of like, if it's not, yeah, no. That's good. Why were you scared? It was insecurity. I was scared because I didn't think I was like Christian enough. I just, I have, I saw parts of Ashley's walk with the Lord online. And I think this was just a tactic of the enemy to compare myself to her, to say that I didn't know Jesus enough, but I, it was insecurity. I was like, this girl is like,

got it together. And I was still so new in my faith at that time. I still consider myself very new in my faith. I haven't been walking with the Lord for even two years yet. You're a two-year-old. I'm a two-year-old. But it's the way that Allie, when I met her, this girl didn't even pray out loud.

I didn't have the confidence to pray out loud. And so that's actually where I was at. At that time when we all went to the send, Ashley was just starting to like show me and encourage me how to like start praying out loud. I had never, I haven't even experienced like prophecy yet. Like,

when I tell you that she didn't have dreams yet I didn't have dreams like I know I had heard from the Lord but I didn't think I knew it was the Lord like I was like infant I was at a place where I'd spent a lot of time with the Lord alone but I didn't know what it was like to be in community and I also didn't have anyone like showing me just different parts of your journey with the like equipping you in the spirit I wasn't

literal infant. Yeah. It was like almost like Ashley and the people she was introducing me to was like showing me how to walk in a way, you know, and encouraging me. Like I was like this baby and they were like, come on, you can do it. You can take the steps. But I didn't know I had it in me yet. And so that's where I was at. I was like very, very new in my faith. Like us going to the send and going to passion was my first time ever going to these types of things. I mean, like I was like,

No, Ali didn't know any of the artists and any of the speakers. I'm like, this is hilarious. And here I am in Christian culture for like six years. So I'm like, I know every single person. I had no idea, not even one person that was speaking or singing at the send or passion. I didn't know anyone. I mean, I was brand new. So yeah, it's just cool to see like where we were all at. We were in very, very different journeys and seasons. We've only been friends for how many months?

Oh, I don't know. Stop it right now. Let's think about this. When was it? February? No, we didn't know each other in February. That was the send. March is whenever we met, right? March. March is when we met. March, April, May, June, July, August. Eight months.

September. That's, there's no way. Guys, I need some caffeine. Yeah, can we do this now? You're right, Ashley. Let's do it. Yeah, yeah, for sure. For the people who are just simply listening, we are pouring our coffee over our ice cream. Three, two. Oh, I already did it, my bad. Oh, it's all right, bro. Be careful not to get on this table. Oh, yeah, Karu, use your nappy right now. No, I think the biggest lesson with all of this is that God's timing is perfect and

And if you're in a season of waiting for God to send you your people – let's just do that one more time. I'm just kidding.

If you're in a season of like you, if you're in a season where like you are just waiting for the Lord to send you your people, I encourage you one to just intercede and pray that the Lord would put the people that he knows that you need in your life. And then two, I would just say to trust the Lord's timing. Trust his timing.

And also three, know that when God wants something done, he will get it done.

- And he wanted-- - He will get it done. - He wanted us to be friends. - And he readied all of us for these friendships. Isn't that funny? And we're reflecting on these times that we were in and he really readied us to be good friends to one another. - How y'all finna go deep into it and then right after you say to eat the ice cream, I'm trying to sit and soak it in. I feel this espresso go through my veins. - This looks like it's supposed to be a root beer float, but it's not gonna taste like it. - And y'all going in already.

Anyway, we're trying our best here. That's so good. Yeah, he readied us. I'm gonna eat my cherry. He readied us and- Have y'all eaten your cherries? I already ate mine before we started, I think. Dang, that's wisdom. He readied us, but also, like, it's just wild. Like, Karu's family. Oh, he's actually my literal brother. I consider him family, and the fact that he's been in my life for five months, six months- Eight months. Eight months.

Eight years since the womb. Five minutes? Three months?

But like, guys, when the Lord wants you to be like in something, when he wants you to start something, when you want, he'll expedite it. Like, I even think that's a lesson with Ali's podcast. Like there are people that literally come up to this girl and are like, how did you do it? How did you get a podcast and blah, blah, blah. And it's like, my girl literally doesn't know what else to say other than God. Like I listened to the spirit. He told me to create a podcast. So I did it. Like there's no strategy. Yeah.

I also believe consistency. So in even our friendship, God has ordained the friendship, but we would not be where we are if we weren't consistent in it. That's true. God has given you an opportunity for the pod, but if you weren't consistent in it, then it wouldn't be where it's at. If I didn't commit to it. It's also a two-way street of consistency.

Many times God opens doors, but we actually have to walk it out. You have to say yes. Right. And I mean, he says, if you want to be my disciple, you must deny yourself. So that's something you have to do is deny yourself, pick up your cross, which is really heavy and follow him. So you have a cross on your back every single day. So what that is, is it's sacrifice. Yeah.

And in the podcast, you sacrificed your time. In friendship, we sacrifice our time. Sacrifice, you know, the things that we have to do. I mean, even to film for this episode, we're in California, there's always work to be done and things to be doing, but it's sacrifice. And the thing is, even in friendship,

it's sacrifice. We want to do it. Like, it's like, I want to sacrifice my time for you guys, just because I love you guys. And as we're talking, the Lord's pointing me to first Corinthians 13, first Corinthians 13, four, um, just talks about love and says, love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud. It does not dishonor others. It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no records of wrong.

Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. So I just feel like that has been a basis kind of of our friendship. It has been rooted in love. And then you say, what is love? God is love. Yeah.

And when it's rooted in the Holy Spirit and who Jesus is, then we're following all these things. And I think that's why our friendship's been successful. I think that's why, you know, our businesses or our books or podcasts or whatever have been successful because God's in it. Yeah. And in that we have to sacrifice. Yeah, I think that's good. I think it's good to acknowledge that the only reason that we know how to love each other well is because we go to God and we ask him how.

Yeah. Like we say, how can I love Ashley the way that she needs to be loved today? How can I love Karu? How can I support him? Yeah. And feel your love today. Like show me. Cause the thing is, is we can't ever, this goes for all things in our life, but

since we're talking about friendship today, we're not gonna find that strength within ourselves. I'm not a good friend without Jesus. Like we are not good friends. We're not good sons and daughters, wives, husbands, like whatever that looks like without Jesus, because he is our shepherd. He's the one that shows us how to be good.

He's the one that shows us how to love people well, because he literally set the ultimate example. He picked up his cross. He sacrificed. He taught. He sat with people. He was selfless. He didn't, he would like be on a mission to go and do something, but then somebody would need him and he'd stay and he'd, he'd be self, he would sacrifice daily. It's not even just about the cross. That was the ultimate sacrifice. But Jesus sacrificed every day.

minute of his life. His whole life was dedicated to other people. And so I think that's really important to remember that that's how we're supposed to be walking in our life. Like for the people sitting in front of us, whether they're our best friends, our family, our spouses, our children, strangers, we need to sacrifice our lives to other people in loving. And I think that's why love can be looked at as something so like when we choose to love, it can be kind of like

that to people where they're like whoa like if you choose to go out of your way to like love somebody well it kind of like makes people stop in their tracks you know what i mean like

if even if you were to do it for a stranger in public it's like other people like stop and they see it and they're like what it's shocking but it's because it's the truth like the love of Jesus is the truth I think that's why it makes people literally stop in their tracks because there's nothing else that compares to it there's nothing else more beautiful than the love of Jesus and I think that's why people can even look at our friendships and be like what the heck how

do they love each other so well? How did they find each other? And it's literally like everything is just Jesus. He led us to each other and then he showed us how to maintain that friendship well. Are we going to be human and mess up sometimes? Sure. You know, I'm going to be disappointing. But overall, it's like Jesus allowed us to be friends and then he had such a kind heart to then show us how to keep each other in each other's lives by loving each other well. Like he's like walking us through every part of it and it's just

I'm obsessed with him. I love that he allowed us to be friends. Well, and even like I can think about specific ways that these two have loved me. One, Allie literally organized our entire office. That's actually crazy. And it's because...

Homegirl was sensitive to the spirit. Yeah, I asked God. And God told her that that would bless me. So my girl obeyed. Okay, that took her the entire weekend. She was supposed to rest. She wanted to. She was sick too. She did that for me. She did that for me. I was taken aback. Karu has been honest with me and told me things that I didn't want to hear.

but he was sensitive to the spirit and he knew he needed to tell me because an honest a flatterer multiplies kisses but what is it an honest an honest friend who can find or like someone someone who can a friend that can tell you the honest truth who who's willing to hurt you for your good that's a friend you can trust yeah so even just the two of them being sensitive to the spirit

So pay attention to the people who flatter you. And they're like, yes, man. And they just say, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then pay attention to the people in your life who

Who don't flatter you. Right. And they tell you the truth. Well, and it's not even calling one out, but it's calling one higher. It's calling higher. Yeah. And I think at least for me, I was kind of more in a culture of a lot of calling out of like, that's what I thought, you know. You called me higher. Right. Well, it's because. And you did it with, and you always do it with such love. You're not like, Ash, why are you doing this? Why are you doing that? Allie, how could you waste your time doing this? Like it's, it's always with love, which you know is also love.

you know it's you're being obedient in the Father because

the only way that he corrects us is also through love. So it's never in a condemning way, a judging way. Like that's how you know someone's in tune with the spirit. If they are calling you higher is if it's done with such love and you don't feel like garbage about yourself. I appreciate that. Therefore, there's now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. So the Lord only calls us higher. So if someone's constantly rebuking you and it just feels condemning, they're probably not doing it in love. And if they're not doing it in love, the Bible says that God is love.

God's not in it. They're doing it out of flesh. And I think I have been in a lot of those situations before and it led me to a lot of hurt. But yeah. I will have to say, though, like you are the person in our lives, though, that is like really always hit it right on the...

I appreciate that. Every time. Even if we don't want to hear it, we're like, okay, Karu was right about that thing. And it's happened every time, actually. You've always been right. Every time. He's never been wrong. Because he listens to God. Because the spirit is spiriting. Yeah. And he listens. He listens to God. Even when...

You have to sacrifice how we might feel about you in that moment because you're like being honest. Because the flatters, the yes men, they care more about us liking them than God's will being done in their life. That's still looking at ourselves. You care more about God's will. Yeah. So you're like, I'm willing. And that's love. Yeah, that's real love. That's real love. It's not always easy. Wow, that's so good. And thank you for that encouragement. That's so sweet.

In 1 Corinthians 13, what we're just reading, love is not self-seeking. Yeah. And flattery. Yeah. Because I think a lot of people have in LA specifically. But just in general, it's like we only want to be friends who can give us something if

If it's not, you know, money or a platform, it's affirmation. Like we're literally just going to that friend. So they make us feel some type of way, not so that we can actually love them and do life with them. And that has ended up in a lot of hurt for me in past friendships that I was going to them, those friends for them to fulfill a desire and need that only God could fulfill. Yeah. So yeah, just realizing that when we love, we can't be what's in it for me. Mm-hmm.

Like if a lot of people complain about not having good friends, but the thing is you're not even the friend that you want. Yeah. We must treat others how we would like to be treated. We must be the good friend. We're, we're complaining lots of complaining about the people we don't have in our life, but you're not being that for anybody else because you're, you're self-seeking. Wow.

So, yeah, I just think in looking for friendships, we need to pursue with the Holy Spirit, with love and sacrifice. Yep. That is perfect love. It's not about us. What Jesus did is sacrifice. Exactly. Yeah. He didn't. What did he gain? Right. Like he did it for us. He lost everything. Yeah. Yeah.

He did it for us. Yeah. He lost his whole life for us. Yeah, he did. He laid it all down. Actually, his whole life was dedicated to us. He didn't get to go be a dad. He didn't get to get married. His whole life was dedicated to saving us. And there's no greater love than this, than one who lays down his life for his friends. Right, right. Who said that? Jesus.

Jesus said it. Jesus said it. And when we say lay down your life, it doesn't mean maybe we're physically laying down on a railroad track for people, but laying down your life is...

Like what you were saying, Karu, there's no self-seeking. Laying down your life is sacrificing maybe the things that you could get and gain and saying, but how can I just look at these people and serve them? This isn't about me. Because if you think about it too, if you're always willing to serve and then you're also in relationship with people who are always willing to serve, you're going to get served. That's how a great marriage is too.

There's so many self-seeking marriages where they're both like, they're not loving me. And then the other partner's like, well, they're not loving me. And it's like, because they're both looking at themselves. If they just looked at each other and only each other, the flow would go like this, baby. Yes, that's so good, Allie. If they would just look to the Lord, then they would meet in the middle. Yeah.

Yeah, like Jesus and then them and then flowing into one another back to God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, for sure Another thing that I want to touch on because we talked about friendships and not having peace with friendships That's like a heavy topic, but I do believe there's people in your life that are

you know, you won't always feel peace being around. Yeah. That God has still called you to serve. Oh, that's good. That's good. So I don't want you guys to take that. Oh, well, if I'm not feeling fulfilled in all this, you know, from this friendship that I'm just supposed to drop it. I,

I like what we always talk about your core, your disciples, and then your community. Jesus had his core, which were Peter, James, and John that he showed secrets to transfiguration on the Mount. And then he had his disciples. He actually had a disciple that he knew was going to betray him. He knew all of his thoughts about him and all the things that he was going to do, but he served him anyways. So I just think, but he was also wise in the secrets that he showed. So I just, he didn't bring Judas to those places.

Right. He didn't bring the Judas to those places, but he also didn't just kick him to the curb. But he still served him. Right. So he still washed his feet. Wow. He still washed his feet knowing he was going to betray him. Wow. So there are friends in our life that don't give us peace, but we are called to still wash their feet and have boundaries with them. Yeah. And that's okay. And then there's also friends who are core, who we know we can trust and show secrets to. That's good, bro. That's

That's good. That was fire. I love this. I love that we've been talking about this. I didn't even really know what we were going to talk about, but I love that we're touching on friendship. How to be a good friend. How to be a good friend and how to know when a good friend comes into your life. Because I think there's a lot of temptation of fear and maybe even protecting ourselves when a good thing comes because of how much hurt we've experienced in other relationships. I'm going to keep it a buck and say I've been hurt by friends.

I have been in some friendships where I thought they loved me, but maybe they just loved what I could offer. And so I think... Self-seeking. Yeah. And that is like traumatizing, you know? And I'm not saying that to be like, I'm a victim. Like, I know I probably haven't been the best friend, you know? And especially because I didn't have Jesus living inside of me. So I know I wasn't a good friend.

But, you know, I just think that it's really easy for us to say that I'm not going to trust anybody. And maybe even if you've had that experience with people in the church, you know, like, okay, Ellie, yeah, I hear you. Maybe it's just because you're, you know, interacting with a lot of people who didn't know Jesus, but I've experienced this in the church. So how do I get past that? And so I guess maybe if we have any feedback for that, I just feel that on my heart of any advice that we could give anyone who's listening that needs to hear, um,

about like, so then how do I stop being in like avoidant and protecting myself because I want to trust people again. Yeah. - That's so good. This is actually, as we met as friends the first week, actually we were here in California, the Lord told me, "Keru, that you are guarding your heart so much. Not only are you blocking, you know, the things that would harm you, but you're also blocking blessings."

He said, if you would just, Psalm 91, rest under my wing, I will protect you, but I will also bless you. I will protect you. We don't protect ourselves. Exactly. It's a sense of control and a lack of faith. You can't please the Lord without faith. So what it does, it's coming from a place of resting from the Lord and realizing the word of God says that God will fight for you. You only need to be still. You only need to be quiet. If

If we would just rest with God, he will protect us. If we're into the spirit, the protection comes from discernment and knowing we need to step back from things. And the blessings just come from discernment as well. You know, you feel, you know, fulfilled in that. And another thing I want to touch on is you talked about trauma. I think a lot of people have a skewed perception and view of trauma. I think it has to be PTSD and assault and abuse and all these things. But trauma is really just sins effects on us, us living in a fallen world.

Yeah. Somebody lying behind your back can bring trauma because we were not made to live in a sinful world. Where we lie to one another. Right. We were made to live in because if you have someone who's lying to you, then you're going to have trust issues. And that's traumatic because someone, you know, hurt you.

So I think, yeah, at the end of the day, it's like any sin that was done against us can be traumatizing because we were not made to live in a fallen world. We're made to live in perfect communion with the Father. Sin to us every single day is traumatic. So how do you, after being sinned against, in relationships specifically, how do you trust people again? Yeah. I mean, I think, honestly...

I think Karu said it really great where we really have to have so much faith in God. We have to trust him. And I think, you know, even with allowing someone like you, here's the thing. This ties into what we were saying. She was scared of me. I was not scared. I was thinking you were going to think I was a fan or like I just wasn't legit enough. It was just insecurity. I was not scared of you. But even me being a good friend.

Yeah, I think it all freaked me out a little bit. But for some reason, I didn't feel like I was supposed to run away from it. So I think the other thing too is that God just, this is what we were saying earlier, he will make it happen. Yeah.

I think no matter how much our flesh wants to deny it, how much we want to protect ourselves or run away from it, we can't outrun God's plan. And so even if we are trying to do all these things out of our flesh and out of fear, our fear is not too big for God. And so it didn't matter how fearful I was to meet you or how fearful I was of what you would think of me or even how fearful it would be for us to get close and then for it to just like die because I've experienced that too. None of that mattered because God

God is bigger and he's stronger than all of that. He's stronger than my flesh. He's stronger than my fears. And so I think having faith in the Lord and trusting him, but also just know that if you're supposed to be friends with somebody, it's going to happen. It doesn't matter how scared you are. It doesn't matter how much you want to protect yourself. Your protection is not bigger than the Lord's plan. And

Yeah, I just don't think the Lord would have let me run away from y'all, no matter how much I wanted to. I think he softened my heart to that, and he showed me that I could trust you guys. I think a lot of it was just the Lord just doing stuff in my heart and being like, you can put your guard down, you know? So I don't know if that helps, but faith and also God will do it. Yeah, I...

I even think actions. So like holding your friends because a lot of people are like, don't have expectations. It'll hurt you. We don't expect people to be God. I don't expect y'all to be God in my life, but I do have friendship expectations. Yeah. For support, for to encourage me, to uplift me, to call me out. And those expectations are actually set on Bible. You only have those expectations because that's what God says is a good friendship. Right. So I believe...

Looking back, it's the same way whenever it's hard to trust God. What we do is we look back at a testimony where he's brought us. We look back at him being faithful in our life. I mean, even us moving to California, I'm sure there's been times, you know, we've talked about in the past episodes of where it's like, God, am I actually supposed to be here? And then we take a step back and we see his active hand on us. So in these friendships, it was hard for me to trust you guys. To be honest, trust was really hard for me. Yeah.

And specifically when we went to California, I'm just like, like I even told you, I'm like, y'all were like, we love you so much. And I was like, I'll believe it when I see it. Like literally in Nashville, I was like, everyone tells me this. That never offended me though. Cause I was like, you're going to see it. Yeah. You're going to see it because our hearts were pure and we just wanted to love you. You've shown me that. And just-

like I now know in my heart, it's like, even if the enemy wants to come and be like, put your guard up, put your walls up. It's like, actually, I know that they've been there for me and I know that they would sacrifice their time for me and they would like pull up at any time, call prayer anytime for me. So I think looking back on the friendships that you're, the new ones you're trying to cultivate, looking back at actions. That's good. Actions is so important. Fruit.

And 1 Peter 5, 6 through 7 says, So you said, how do I pursue a relationship when, you know, you have these trust issues and stuff, casting it back onto God? Yeah.

God, I cast my cares to you. I cast my anxiety to you. I cast these things that I don't understand. I trust you that you have a plan and purpose for my life. That Roman says that you cause all things to work for the good of those who love you according to your plan and purpose. So holding him at his word,

And the word never comes back void. So walking in the truth, walking in the light and having faith that God's word, like I said, never comes back void. He's going to provide the community that you need. He's going to provide the friendships, but we also must be doing our part. Yes. See, first the kingdom, Matthew 6, all be added. Some people want community and friends, but they're not even seeking the kingdom. Hmm.

If we would just seek him first, it all comes. It all comes. Wow, guys. Thank you so much. I'm so grateful for you guys. I'm so grateful. I feel like we're going to end this episode with prayer. I want us to just cover everybody right now.

to anyone who feels like this is like a really just like struggling area in their life with friendships and trusting people or just feeling like they can trust Christians. I just would love to close this out in prayer and covering everyone in that and just encouraging them in this area of their life if they don't feel they've been able to really find solid friends or community. So let's do that.

Lord, I just thank you so much for this time today. God, thank you for giving us clarity on what we were going to talk about today. This was so sweet. And Lord, I just thank you. I thank you for Ashley and Karu just for simply being in my life. But I also thank you for the way that you've brought this friendship together to be an example for those who are listening. And I

um to anyone who has doubt in this area of their life that they're ever going to find friends that are you know going to lay their lives down for them and they can lay down their lives for them too like it's just a equally yoked friendship and so god we just cover them

everyone who's listening right now who needs this prayer, God, I ask that you just give them a peace about this area in their life, that you are taking care of it, God. And I ask that they also feel a sense of that they need to trust you more in this area, God. I feel that you want them to know that you need them to have more trust and faith in you in this area, that this isn't too big for you or too small, that you are going to

show them who their true friends are and those people exist in this world and they're coming, that they just have to continue to have faith in you and that they're protected by you. They're under your wing, God, and that you are the one who fights for them and they need only to be still. It's Exodus 14, 14, God. Yeah, I just cover everybody and I just want them to feel encouraged by this. I don't want this episode to get twisted into the enemy trying to

have them compare their lives to ours and say, well, why can't I have that? We just rebuke every spirit that's come against them and discouraging them in this area of their life. And God, I just, I pray that they know that this is something that you have planned for them, that it's very important to you that they're also in community of people who are equally yoked and encourage them and call them higher and love on them, that they get to experience your love through friendship as well. Yeah, God, we just bless them in Jesus name.

Yes, Jesus. And I just feel one more thing the Lord saying is, friend, as you feel like you don't, you know, have community or these friends around you that the enemy wants you to sit and measure being miserable and sit in, you know, almost like, yeah, isolation. But the Lord is actually activating you. I believe this episode is a place of activation for if you are faithful in the little. This is what God is telling you. If you're faithful in the little, you'll be faithful in the much.

So God is telling you, Matthew 6, seek first the kingdom and all will be added. The community, the friends will be added. The body of Christ will be added. God is telling you right now to only seek his face. So may you not sit in the feelings of pity that you don't have community because friend, I've been there. But God is saying, seek my face and I will bring everything else because we can see that that's what's happened specifically in my life and Ashley's life with our stories. We sought Jesus even when we felt like we had nobody. Mm-hmm.

In Matthew 6, seek first the kingdom and all will be added, friend. I love you so much. Yes, so good. Thank you, Father. In Jesus' name. Do you want to add something, Ash? That's on Allie praying.

On this podcast. Wow. When I first met her, she couldn't even pray out loud. I couldn't even pray in front of Ashley. And here she is praying for thousands of people. Wow. I think I just am so, I just feel like the spirit moves so much through this. Me too. I'm so grateful, guys. I really just know that a spirit of encouragement. Yeah, I feel that. Do we feel lighter, guys?

everyone is encouraged I do I feel lighter I feel blessed because it's also just look at this and know that it's possible for you I had no idea these people were coming into my life I couldn't have predicted it actually yeah which is fun that means that the Lord actually has surprises for you just expect that he has gifts and a lot of times when we receive a gift it's kind of a surprise it's like wrapped up

or you can't see it, but you're like, you have to like, it's a surprise, you know? So there's joy to be found in the waiting. And that joy is also through expectancy. Just be expectant that the Lord has these things for you because he loves you. He doesn't love us any more than he loves you. You are just as much a child of God as we are. And he wants those things for you. So just know that. I love you guys. Hey guys, can we do something cool today? Okay,

- Can we show somebody? - Wait, what can we do that's cool? - Can we show somebody how cool Jesus is today? - Wait, I love that.

That just means like, let's walk like the Lord. I've never thought about that before. I've never heard Ali say that ever. Really? You haven't heard her say that in her house? She's trying to be sarcastic. I'm just being funny. She's funny. She lives with me. She hears it all the time. But yeah, let's show somebody how cool Jesus is today. Let's walk like him more. Let's speak like him more. Let's have patience. Let's actually be slow to speak and quicker to listen to people.

Yeah, let's just show someone how cool he is this week. I'm proud of you guys. I love you. Thank you for tuning in. Let's applaud Ashley and Karu for being such great friends. I love y'all so much. Keep it going. She's like, that's fine. I love you guys. I'll see you in the next episode.

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