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cover of episode Top 10 Ways to Ruin Your Relationships

Top 10 Ways to Ruin Your Relationships

2024/10/28
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Change Your Brain Every Day

Key Insights

Why do women file for divorce more often than men?

Women file for divorce more often because they have greater access to the right side of their brain, which recognizes trouble and problems. This makes them more likely to recognize issues in the relationship and take action.

What is the key to maintaining a healthy relationship according to the podcast?

The key to maintaining a healthy relationship is taking 100% responsibility for your part in the relationship, practicing empathy, active listening, assertiveness, spending quality time together, questioning negative thoughts, noticing what you like, and offering grace and forgiveness.

How does the brain type affect relationships?

Certain brain types, like the persistent type, may wear Teflon and not absorb feedback well, which can lead to communication issues and relationship strain.

What are the four horsemen of the apocalypse in relationship studies?

The four horsemen of the apocalypse in relationship studies are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. These behaviors can predict divorce with 90% accuracy.

Why is it important to question your thoughts in a relationship?

Questioning your thoughts helps prevent you from believing every negative thought you have, which can ruin a relationship. It allows you to challenge and correct inaccurate or harmful thoughts.

How does alcohol affect relationships?

Alcohol drops your frontal lobes, reducing your ability to control what you say and do. This can lead to saying things that are inappropriate or hurtful, which can damage the relationship.

What is the difference between assertiveness and aggression in relationships?

Assertiveness involves setting healthy boundaries and expressing your needs in a firm but respectful way. Aggression, on the other hand, involves being angry and bossy, which can be harmful to the relationship.

Why is it important to spend time together in a relationship?

Spending time together is crucial for nurturing the relationship and maintaining closeness. Lack of time together can lead to drifting apart and seeking companionship elsewhere.

How does noticing what you like more than what you don't like benefit a relationship?

Noticing what you like more than what you don't like reinforces positive aspects of the relationship, making both partners feel appreciated and valued.

What role does empathy play in a healthy relationship?

Empathy allows you to see things from your partner's point of view, fostering understanding and connection. Lack of empathy can lead to narcissistic behavior and relationship breakdown.

Chapters

This chapter explores the importance of taking 100% responsibility in relationships and how it can lead to healthier interactions.
  • Relationships are 100-100, not 50-50.
  • Responsibility is the ability to respond, not just blame.
  • Sovereignty in relationships means allowing partners to make their own decisions.

Shownotes Transcript

In this week's episode of Change Your Brain Every Day, Dr. Daniel Amen and Tana sit down to discuss sure fire ways to ruin your primary relationships. Did you know that having good relationships can help you be healthier and happier—and even live longer? It’s true! In addition to how great it feels to be in a positive, warm, and satisfying relationship with another person, it’s actually helpful to your brain and body as you age. Conversely, people who are in unhealthy relationships filled with conflict and stress can become more vulnerable to sickness and earlier death.

 

00:00 Intro

02:10 Responsibility

04:12 Blame/Sovereignty

06:24 Talking Over One Another

08:01 Defensive Ninja Moves

10:53 Cheating/Mistrust

11:34 Sponsor

12:44 RELATING

24:07 Summary

26:56 Condescending Attitudes

27:51 Contempt

28:13 Criticism

28:48 Love is Just a Feeling

29:54 No Forethought = No Foreplay

31:46 Practical Tips

33:41 Wrap Up