88: BROOKE FINALLY REVEALS HER A-LIST BOYFRIEND… - Ep. 88
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Hello and welcome back to the Canceled Podcast.

No, what I was just going to tell you guys, we were talking about my boob job off camera. I get my boob job day after tomorrow and coincidentally also start my period that day. No, that happened to me after my nose job. I swear to God, like directly after my nose job, I was bleeding and I like, I am going to cry, but you want to know what people are saying? People are saying you can't even pull your own pants down. So boy, do I have a job for people. I'm just kidding.

It's so awesome though because Bebe will do that show with a smile on her face. Like she loves you so much. Wait, she's going to be here in a second, but not kidding. Bebe's like odd jobs is like my funniest bit of all time. Like the fact Bebe will do anything.

Anything for a check And she is like Shameless about it It is my favorite Thing about her Like each week She's like A nursing major And then the next week She's a finance pro And then One time she was Genuinely working As a paralegal And she was calling Herself a paralegal Yeah

She is literally like a Disney Channel character. She is like that girl from Austin and Allie. Remember when she had a tooth gems business for a week? No, what else? Why'd you point at me when you said Austin and Allie? You know why? You fucking trip on mushrooms and cuss out Ross Lynch one time. No, one time I look over at her phone. She's trying to get storage. She's deleting the Uber driver app. The book.

when have you been driving for uber she is literally jack of all trades she worked for me for a second there and she's working for me right now it's great it's i i just i love that friend who's like always has the odd job and like will do anything for a buck she's been posting on her story too like do you want to earn money like are you in a pyramid scheme

Yeah, her Instagram stories send me. I've literally never loved anyone more. If you're not following Beebalds, you are genuinely missing out on the roller coaster of life. Wait, no, seriously? I think that's a thing. Can everybody just follow her? Because I don't want her to have to have a job anymore. Same.

Same with Paige. Come on. Please. I just want to frolic and play. That's all I want to do. Dude, I was just talking about that. It's like, I saw this clip of Miley Cyrus doing an interview, right? And David Letterman was asking her, like, what's your dream life? And it got me thinking, like, because you don't ever really think about that. Like, what is your dream life? And I, like, I really thought to myself, and like, it's not working. My dream job is no job. And no one dreams of labor. Yeah. Although. But then it's like you marry for money, and then, like, you're f***ed.

like the guys are well i don't want my husband to work either to be honest oh i don't care clock in babe as long as i'm in italy like northern italy having a call me by your name summer eating a baguette i will be so happy yeah i don't know i guess what did you say today we're in the car and page goes yeah i want to retire by the time i'm 25 i'm 26 i was dying i'm

I feel like I would My dream Well what is your dream Life Not your dream job Like what's your dream life Like if you had All the time in the world Like all the money All the resources What would you do Lazy Just lazy Just as lazy As I can possibly be Like I'm talking Like what's the I've fallen And I can't get up Thing up the stairs The thing that Trevor Wallace Has in his house It's

Like just as lazy as I possibly can be. No, I think you would get depressed. It could be like adventurous lazy. Like let's go here and be lazy. And then let's go here and be lazy. Oh yeah, like lay in different terrains. Yes. You do love a good rot. Just as much horizontal time as possible. That's my dream life. What about you, Paige? I'm not kidding. Oh my God. Bed sores. First thing I would do is get a horse. I'm not kidding. That's all I want. That's a good one. That's all I fucking want. I just want to be able to ride.

i would just do you want a horse you're riding she's riding look at that oh my god

Oh my God. But imagine like modern home and it's like it has gold accents, like gold hardware. Like why don't that? Whoa, that could be my new business. Like why don't we have I've fallen and I can't get up chairs. Like why are they all white and plastic? There's got to be a market. I don't know. I feel like that's a good one though. I like like people who are really rich, but like do those kinds of things with their money, like have just a beautiful ranch or something. I want to have like a Jane Goodall era, like where I'm just fucking posted up with the champs.

Orcas Orcas And you know I'm about to go do that I was supposed to do it at the end of tour But I was burnt out Wait you didn't go on your orca trip?

Well, you would have known about it. I was supposed to go save the orcas, but I was burnt out from Dwarf. First of all, it's not... I mean, they are saving the orcas, but it's like an excursion. Like, we're learning about the orcas. There's a dog. I told you guys, the dog that, like, sniffs out orca feces at the bow of the boat. It's like, how do they get promoted from drug dog to, like, orca dog? Orca shit sniffer? It's really, like...

It's so fucking crazy that animals can do that. Murphy doesn't know her name. How do they train a dog to do that? I don't know. Yeah, right. This is what whale shit smells like.

Oh my god Well I didn't know It was supposed to Already have happened I thought it was still Like in the works It still can But it's in San Francisco So we ended in San Francisco So it was gonna just stay But It was not the time Well guys Subscribe Get her money So she can go watch Orcas No I'm going for free My favorite thing Unsubscribe My

My favorite thing about Orca Gate was what you did for those two hats. Okay, so we have a meet and greet, right? And this girl brings us handmade crochet hats. Like mine was Peppa and yours was a whale. And you were like, I need another one in case I bring a plus one. Orca watching so that we can be matching. But this girl's in a random city and you had to like... Yeah, like we were long past her city. So her sister came like three...

Three cities later And I sent her And flew out The secondary Orca hat We had to like Give her special treatment Stop Like We have to She We just did We wanted to give her Special treatment God damn it We had to Wait like she didn't Just ship it in a box Like she shipped herself With the hat No she showed up To the meet and greet With the hat That's sweet It was so sweet Now I have two And no plus one If you want me I'll be the dog

You know, I got a honker on me. I have a drug dog nose though. Like I can smell anything from a mile away. The other night in the club, I swear to God on the Bible. I was like, someone over there is doing cocaine. And like, I could do it. I will be like, I did. I could smell it.

I will be wearing a perfume and she'll go, there's lavender in that. I'm like, no, there's not. I like check the last note in the perfume and it's lavender. Just anything. I can smell anything like always. I don't know why. I'm really, when I'm on my period, I'm really sensitive to smells. What? That's the thing. It's just funny. I don't know. I imagined her like on her period on the edge of the boat, like looking for the whale feces. Why? Because you could smell better. Oh, oh yeah. Okay. Okay.

Sorry, sometimes I get lost, you know, a little bit of a delay. I need to talk about something before we even just continue to podcast because anxiety can't even describe it. Okay. I woke up today to death threats. Like actual. Like actual, like it's fate on sight. I'm going to beat the fuck out of you when I see you.

Because of something I said on the cancelled podcast On some real serious like real life shit I have to take a bodyguard everywhere I go in LA now For like the next like six months Like actually like I'm I'm gonna end up like dismembered in a little Caesars dumpster I swear to God It's like I personally have no comment

ever again here's the thing I feel like we are normally talking about like a IG model or Bob Gate or someone that I genuinely like can size up and I'm in a place right now where it's like I'm gonna get jumped by like seven people I can't take

It's so bad. And I'm scared to say like anything else. But like this is honestly in the history of the canceled podcast. The first time someone has like threatened the fuck out of me for something I said slash like I'm actually afraid and I know they mean business. Well, maybe we just do the disclaimer that we don't do any research before speaking on the canceled podcast. I get all my information off of TikTok. Yeah. And we you know what? You should just take it all with a grain of salt. And sometimes we...

Take it too far. And it's just, I always assume, because it's, I'm the type of person where people are constantly like shitting on me and commenting on what I'm doing and saying. So I just take it all with a grain of salt because to me it's like, I know to everyone else it's like a game. And I also just have a very deprecating like sense of humor. So I often do find it funny when someone's like,

at me a little and some people don't at all. Oh my God. And then it's like, here's the thing. Like I really woke up to someone saying like, like next time I see you, I'm beating the fuck out of you. Wait, actually let me, can I see the screenshots? I didn't even see what I said to you. I only saw what I said to me. Oh no, you're a weirdo ass bitch. And when I see you, I'm a beat your ass. I'm more concerned about the last message before that being miss you too. Let's get together soon, please.

we're getting murdered this happy last episode when i see you i'm gonna beat your ass wait mine was literally worse like what did i do i'm sorry your plans fell through i got forgiven i'm personally she's personally my friend really quickly brooke crazy um really quickly it didn't stop me

What are you saying? I get my ass beat and you guys enjoy every second? I form an alliance. I tell them exactly where you guys are. Like it went on for hours today. No end in sight. Well, I personally value my life. Today I responded to the OG text and I was like, is it really that bad? Like that's what I said. And the person said, excuse bitch, the fucking nerve of you. What the fuck do you think?

I wish I could say more, but we've already said too much. And then I'm in the car and someone else we were talking about at the live shows like gives me a call and I'm like, oh my, like it sucks because this podcast truly does just create an environment. I know that you're experiencing the same feeling right now with Bob Gate where it's like you're talking to all of your friends and I'm sitting here with my best friends and it's like, yeah, we're shooting the shit, but like it isn't, we aren't shooting. No, we're getting shot. We're getting shot.

We're just trying to kiki. We're just trying to talk shit and giggle. No, but I, we, I, on some level, we do have to take some accountability. Like we can be entertaining without having to like, I know it's just like real things happen or either a real things actually happen. And I want to talk about them cause they happen or I'm commenting on something that is public information. Yeah. If something's going around and everybody's talking about it, I want to talk about it. Speaking of, Oh, Oh, what do you think? Oh,

What happened dude? She was living in the Hype House and so was the cat. And then like, she switched rooms with Lil Huddy and the cat got out. Yeah, so I'll give you all the information that I know. That what she said was that she was switching rooms. She was the only one who hadn't switched rooms yet. So she was switching rooms, okay? Hold on. Yes, she was in a content house. Why were they playing musical rooms? I think maybe to make it like fair or something. I'm sure some of the rooms were better than others. Oh, like you got 10 M's this week. You got the most live gifting so you get the master. Maybe, I don't know. I've never been in a content house. Double sinks.

Because of the cowboy hat. Like, what? Okay. So she was moving rooms and she came back into her room when she was, like, moving furniture and the back door was open and her cat was gone. Okay? So that was what she knew. But then... For the viewers, we're talking about Reagan 777. Yeah, we're talking about Reagan's cat gate. Okay. 666. So more...

Sorry. Sorry. Having to get it in, like having to get it in, like at a low tone is so funny to me. Like just whispering it to myself. So cat goes missing, never sees the cat again. Okay. She was very distraught about it. So she says,

Then that was years ago Recently a clip surfaces from a podcast It's like Larray Antonio Everyone's talking about I know an influencer who killed their cat Okay and they're like oh my god And they bleep her name But they're talking about it

I have no good commentary here. Then she had to adjust it because she was like, why is everyone saying I killed my cat? My cat ran away. Blah, blah, blah. So then the roommates. I wouldn't even kill your cat. Like they're accusing her of like dommering. Yes. Yes. Oh, TW dommering. Oh, Jesus. I'm going to get another call. Oh, no. So then the roommates came forward and like one of them said like, yeah, the cat was super neglected. You could tell the cat wasn't doing well. And another came forward, I think today, to say that.

He was the one who stole the cat. He and his mother decided the cat was not in good shape. So he opened the back door. He stole the cat. He lived in the house? Yeah. He framed the cat running away to rescue the cat and get it help. But this was someone living in the house doing that? I'm always in support of that. I love the TikToks where people see a little dog in a cage outside and then they steal it. I love that shit.

Okay. I agree with that. But what happened was he took it to the vet and he said, they said it was in horrible condition, whatever. And they suggested that he put it down, but he decided to take it home and hope that he could feed it. And then it died. So that's all that I know about it.

But I'm concerned. Do you know why it died? No. And he didn't say either. And he didn't say usually they were saying they don't usually don't like just say you got to put it down. They'll say you put it down or you can do this. Like what was wrong with the cat? Well, some of the roommates were saying like she had it locked in a closet and she like wouldn't

I don't know, like take care of it. The fur was getting matted. The cat would have seizures often. And then she responded saying when she got the cat, it like already had health problems and like it would get sick all the time and this and that. People are commenting and just saying like, well, why wouldn't you take it to the vet? Like, why did you like wait so long? I don't know.

I don't know. And like, I saw videos of the cat, like the last videos that they had of it, like walking wobbly and stuff. I don't know. It's fucked up. Oh, it's I, I'm the biggest cat lover in the world, but I also like, Oh my God. Like, I guess like you just innately like hope that no one is neglecting an animal. Yeah. And I just, especially because like,

Well, yeah, like cats are decently easy. So it's like if you love this cat and you want it, like why would you get it to not? You just hope she wasn't and that she's telling the truth. It's just such a classic case of he said, she said. And it's like going back and forth. And the matted fur thing, it's like it's a long-haired cat. Yeah, and like she'll give evidence and like the roommate will give evidence. And so very back and forth, there's like a whole Reddit page about it. You know what we need? A pet psychic. We do. Alexis Oakley has a good one. And I'm sorry.

She does. Oh. I'm going to use it. Stop. We need a pet sidekick because we need to talk to... Seven.

If I had cold, hard facts, I would be literally ready to rip this girl apart, okay? Because I'm the biggest cat lover ever. But to be accused of something like that is such a crazy accusation. I need to know the facts. 1,000%. We need concrete evidence. Do you guys remember when that girl broke house? Posted herself unlisted beating her dog? No, she posted, she accidentally posted the unedited YouTube video and she was literally beating her dog. I remember that. I remember that. Like yesterday, I was so fucking...

Yeah. And people were mixing me up with her. Oh, fuck. Brooke Baldwin up with her. I was like. That, oh my God. There's nothing that makes me actually more fucking sick on this planet than animal abusers because like animals are just the sweetest souls. Helpless. Helpless, sweetest souls. And you have to be like actually demonic. There has to be something demonic about you if you're going to be like a person. You are a serial killer. That's just what it is. But yeah, all that to say, I just, I really, really, really fucking hope that it's not true. And I really. I hope so too. Yeah.

And I mean, yeah, I can't imagine being accused of something like that because even if it's wrong, like people are going to remember it forever and probably say it to her forever. So, and oh my God. And if she actually isn't guilty of that and like, imagine having to like all of them. 1000%. Even if we were to come out tomorrow that it was completely false there. Oh, you know what I mean? That's just how the internet works. People are always going to say that to her. Oh my God. That's sad. If it's not true, that is really fucking sad. God, I hope it's not true. Me too. I just like, I don't like,

I see her and she's like sweet and doing her mukbangs. Like you just want to believe that people are good. I don't like it's, I don't know. But if she did that, fuck her. Obviously. 100% it's on site. Yeah. I have people comment on my shit sometimes too though. Like being like, you neglect, why even get a cat when you know you travel so much and stuff and like knowing how I treat Murph. I'm like the fucking noob.

I got a comment this morning saying, I can't believe with all that money you're feeding her Purina. I saw that. I made the biggest scene. I saw that. But it's like the mom shaming is crazy. Mm-hmm.

like you would love that cat more than your first born when you have it that's what i'm saying like how fucking frustrating and murphy like gets filet mignon and like gets pr yeah but for outsiders to comment on like your like how you treat your own animal it's like like if i walked in your house and murphy was getting an ivy like i wouldn't even blink i wouldn't blink twice you know what a lash lift like she doesn't need one she's literally beautiful

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I think it would be fun if we talked about Stassi baby's birthday party for a second. Oh, yeah, that was fun. Yeah, Tana did me a little make-a-wish situation and she introduced me to Emma Chamberlain. It was so I love her so so so much. I'm not kidding like Kylie Jenner's right here Like, you know what I mean? But I Emma walked in and I was like, I was so gagged. Yeah, she's everything and she was like bless her heart, but she was just she was

Lying to me and Tana. Like, just lying. I just love the type of bitch who's like, we have to get dinner. And it's like, I won't even hit you up at all. She's like, I'm obsessed with you guys. Your podcast, like, it's so, she was like, she was so complimentary, but I wanted to be like, Emma, it's okay. Like, you deserve better. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Save it. Genuinely. You don't want just. Save your breath. Yeah. I really thought it was going to be like a huge party. And we got there early. And we were like the first six people.

there yeah i want to hear everything and it was it was like super intimate and really great i feel like i've partied a lot with that group of people over the years and this was like the first time we're like walking in everyone felt really grown it felt wholesome like no one was hammered like it was a really nice like chill la event and it i'm trying to dip my toes in the water of like going out and going to things again and like you know what i mean and i feel like that was like a good

It's so funny. I almost wore like a fucking gown. Well, she was going to wear a super sparkly dress. I go, that's a birthday dress, but Bessie, it's not your birthday. I looked like it was my birthday. And then I showed up and like all the cool girls were like cool. And like leather and Levi's. Oh my God. Thank God.

God, no. I was also the whole night. It's funny because we were one of the first like 10 people there. And the first 10 people it was like you me, Harry, jowsey, loray, Stassi and her like immediate group. So it was like Olivia O'Brien and like Sydney Carlson. Devin Carlson, and Kylie and Kylie's just like roaming around like I'm like, do people know she's in here? She feels too famous to be anywhere.

Literally anywhere. It's so crazy. And I like I had the whole I've talked to her and I've gone up to her a million times and she's always very nice to me. And like, you know, we've taken our photos in the past and whatever. But after Stormy Lockscreen Gate. Right. Yeah.

Which is just up there in my, like, most wild, never thought it would happen scandals, first of all. You know what I mean? That's so funny. I vowed to just leave that family alone. You know what I mean? Literally. Just, like, just stop it, Tana. Okay, like... Yeah, cut your losses. It's so tough, because what a cute photo that was. I really, like...

I've always just made My lock screen Like cute or funny photos And it was like Photos that make you smile Yeah and like But it's like But I get when it's Someone else's kid But I also was at A Diablo Chris Miles Concert during Halloween In a slutty blue Powerpuff costume On stage with my Lock screen out And it's like Is that how they fell

Found out yeah no no no photo of me and E-cat 19 stop and where is he rest in Peace not and yeah and then they were Commenting whatever and then over time Like I'd seen them all again and it was Like it all explained to me and Stoss And I were super like good and fine and It just wasn't a big deal anymore but I Still was like

know your place tana right okay it was nice of them all to be like why the fuck did you do that but we're cool like you know what i mean and so i was like i'm just gonna leave kylie alone tonight you know what i mean yeah walk on eggshells we finally went to the bathroom brooke and i and we like came out and she was right there and she like said hi to me and it was just she was just so nice and like that's so crazy i just felt like she really didn't have to do that like really didn't have to like

Say hi to me and be nice. And like we were talking about like all like I was talking about not drinking. We're talking about just being like grandmas. And she was like the family group chat and like making little jokes. And like she was so cute. We were talking about social anxiety, like how you replay interactions the next day. Kylie has social anxiety. Kylie, you don't know the way that I'm going to replay this in my head tomorrow. No, I swear to God, I'm going to need to be sedated. I said something about anxiety and I swear she said, what's anxiety? And in my head I was like, there is no.

That like of course You've never had anxiety You're Kylie Jenner Like that's so iconic Like you know Whatever she does She just wakes up And she's like She's like I'm fine Yes and Like so fucking iconic But I'm like I already like Hyperanalyze every interaction That I have And I'm standing there It's like Carter Kylie I'm like I'm never gonna live Like I can't even Wake up tomorrow I would be too afraid To speak I was I maybe said two words And then I

I'm like the opposite. Like when someone makes me nervous, I'll like over talk. And I felt like she was just like laughing at my little jokes and it was nice. I was like, you're pitying me. And she looks so cute. And like she like barely wears makeup now and she just, I love her. She looked like, I don't know how to explain it. I feel like all of the other times that I've been face to face with her or talking to her, she's always really looked like

You know what I mean? Like when I, when someone says Kylie Jenner, like you picture like King Kylie or you have like a certain picture and she looked like not real, like truly like AI, like just like I'd never seen her and been like, you don't look real. Like you look like,

Like a Madame Tussauds like figure of you. Like this isn't real. So crazy. Like it was just wild to me. But I'm trying to think. Rosalia was just running around with a bouquet of flowers. Oh yeah. The fuck? It was so funny. What the fuck? It was really, it was like a really good night. It was like I felt like we got like VIP passes into what's left of LA. I know and now we're never getting invited back. You guys are at Stassi's. We're like, we went to Stassi's birthday party.

You guys are at Stassi's birthday party. I'm thwomping around in WeHo. What happened? How was it? Oh, my fucking God. Okay, so I was supposed to go on a date with this boy, Timmy, right? Met him on Raya. No, he's another gay. No, no, no, not in WeHo. We were going to go out in Studio City. But then, of course, Ty Collins texted me. He goes, we're going out tonight. And I said, cancel the date. Date's off. We're going out. Holding on the date for Ty's... Like, you're never going to find love. Absolutely.

No, I have the love of my life. Right. So you go out in WeHo. So, of course, I go out in WeHo and Kale, Ty's cousin, is here in town. And this guy, he is a tornado. Like, picture the Tasmanian devil. That is Kale Collins. It is so funny that Ty has a cousin and he is actually like...

Like, Kale, if you're watching this, please, please, I can't even take one more person being mad at me, but, like, I'm so afraid of him. Like, I won't go if he's there. Like, he's, like, that insane. Really? He's insane, but he is so fucking funny and, like, also can just be amazing. So it was me, Ty, Kale, and then Kale's...

literal army of gays. And when I tell you, I went out with like eight twinks. I was a twink handler all night. I had them on leashes. And like we went to the Abbey and there was one point me and Ty are just doing our thing. We're like sitting under like the heat lamp just going, I love you. I love you for 30 minutes.

Not kidding. I turn around and I see five of these gays standing in a circle getting passed around just taking turns like making out with each other like Yeah with a random gay Is it more fulfilling for you to have a night of like making out with eight gays than like one straight man? 1000 how many gay men equals one straight man in your one yeah

Oh, what? The one in one? I just feel like... To me, it's better. Yeah, like, yeah. It's more fulfilling. I just, like, I love when the gays love me, too. It just means way more than a straight man ever loving me. Yeah, of course. It's, like, getting approval from, like, girls over guys. Yeah. 100%. It's just, like, top-tier compliment. I have a way better night with the gays every single time. And it's just, like, it's so fun. We go out and we just dance. It's, like, Charlie XCX playing. We're spinning each other around, just taking shots. It is, like, the peak. It's peak. Yeah, versus, like, going to a, like...

A hide or something And everyone just stands there Like this Right Yeah Or like going on a first date It's so awkward Like I don't know What to talk about But we need to be going on dates I'm doing flips to Dua Lipa We do We need to be going on dates We should go on At least one date a month I'm so bad at that So am I Speaking of dates All I do is lie

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Listen, I know we have our Pete Davidson lore. Okay. I need to start with this, by the way. I get tagged in this every single day. And I just want to say once again for the thousandth time, I thought that you telling him that you were on mushrooms would win 1000% tenfold. 100% I do. I do. Like, granted, I was on drugs at the time and it was like, it didn't work. Remember the moment? But like,

I was not, I never was trying to fuck it up for you. Like I'm always like, if I can't fuck someone, like someone has to, you know, and you know, I live on and die on that hill. Um, but as you know, he also has been my celebrity crush for years and years of my life. I'm taken first of all. And like, I've given up on all of that. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I don't care. I hear about people talking to him and I'm like excited for them and like, whatever, you know? But the other night,

I ran into one of Pete's really good friends, like best friends. And I was talking to them for a while. They brought up me loving him. They were like, I know you love Pete. And I was like, yeah. And they were like, you know that he knows you exist, right? And I'm like, say more. She's like, okay. Obviously in that situation, you want to get the most information out of the person telling you that, right? So it's not going to be like, oh my God, no. Because then it was also someone that I know is like,

scared of this podcast yeah so like i just i wasn't gonna like act too you know what i mean so i'm acting oh really yeah i was like oh yeah no i know he knows about me in my head i'm like doing fucking cartwheels like shitting on the floor like dying but i'm like yeah no i know like me and pete like we go way back right they tell me it hurts so bad it hurts on so many fucking levels what is it that in regular conversation pete davidson refers to me as tana muguru

I'm never going to call you anything else. Ever again. You're Tana Mugudu until the day I die. Canceled with Tana Mugudu. I'm like retching right now. My esophagus, like I'm literally retching. Because that means like that every single time I've ever said that like my dream day is him hitting me with a semi truck. He's like, he's seen it. Oh, not Tana Mugudu again. Yeah, like, oh my God. Oh my God, it hurts so bad. That's awful. It literally hurts so bad. Oh my God.

Like and there's something about Oh my god I have to breathe very warranted reaction I swear to god There's something about like let's say he didn't know know of me that well and he was calling me like Tanaman Zhao right right like that doesn't hurt as bad like Moogadoo it feels I mean he made it well that's kind of cute he gave you a cute little pet name

I wanted to give you a nickname. Cute little pet name is like Tana Banana. Tana Moogadoo. Moogadoo. That is like your swamp name. I'm going to throw up. I'm literally not even kidding. I'm like retching. It's really tough. Amari has been laughing at me for 72 hours straight. It sounds like something Amari would have made up himself, honestly. Yeah.

That is her alter ego. There's just something about like your celebrity crush, like knowing about you and giving you like a dismissive ass, like, oh, there she is again. Nickname that like, there she goes. Unlive with the ball. Like, I just, I can't, I literally can't believe it. I'm so sorry. I'm never talking about him again. Pete. I'm so dude. I'm sorry. This is the last time you're ever going to hear from her. Take a good long look. He's like, no, not even watching.

this was set in his group chat they're all laughing they're all laughing at us i'm like i know i'm i'm mewing i'm you wait did you know that was funny oh i know you said i was going oh it's okay are there's other people like your boyfriend yes i know i love him literally so much and i like i swear to god if in some dream world

You know Like Pete Everett Did walk up to me And walk me I would And I love Makoa Like you know what I mean It's just like Yeah Like that That's just never Not like No and that's just never He calls me Tana Muguru I don't get Like I could be married At least he knows you Like that's just what I just I'm the druggie Yeah

I'm just I'm like thank god I still have my turn Please Honestly he's apparently Easy to get a hold of These days That's what I'm hearing Someone put me in contact But I just Literally shut up Tana shut up I just keep saying More sentences Stop

Word vomit. It's like, oh my God. Speaking of Pete Davidson's friends, I made up with Monson. That's crazy. You know what? Classic case of your best friend dying on the hill for you and then you. That's like me and you with Mr. Big. Like, I like want to death threaten him. And then he like... Yeah, it's like, she'll tell me all these horrible things and then I'll go on this rampage about how he's a short, stinky old man or something that I like probably wouldn't have said otherwise. And now it's like, they're friends and I just... And now you have to... But...

Tell us what happened. It's the classic case of like best friends. Like we all do it. Like you go off on the man and then they're cool again. I mean, it's been a year. I think that you know what got me is when he said to me, like I was like, Maude, you did this, this, this and this. And I really ate with everything I said. You know, I think that it was a really classic case of two people in the wrong in a lot of ways, you know. And I probably didn't need to take it to the podcast. But unfortunately, we just do. Yeah. But also he just...

Unfortunately, in my life, like when we were really good, I think we were amazing, so passionate, so in love. And then like if he ever hurt me or I felt hurt by the situation, I become someone I don't know, like with him in that case. You know what I mean? And I think that was...

what it was like on the like I just you know coming and sitting down and airing everything out and being really angry and all of it like you know what I mean I don't know um but so I tell him all these things and he looks at me and he was like Tana you literally I sent you flowers and three days later you tweeted that you sucked dick in a Cane's drive-thru and like I wasn't in the Cane's drive-thru and nothing about that was even false valid honestly kind of ate and honestly I think people did try to tell you in the moment

When it was going on and you were like, well, it's my job. I was like, this is my job. I thought it was funny. I was like, you know, three finger combo, box combo, canes, I suck dick. You see the joke. You know, it's so funny. What?

I was with her in Paris when she was like, I was with her when she was making her whole breakup text to Maude. And I'm not kidding. First of all, she brought out the laptop. Like that's how you know it's serious. Did you see the length of that thing? It was like the dot, dot, dot message. You had to like click to open. But we're listening to a vampire on repeat. She is seething. She is in her Olivia Rodrigo era. She's going, okay, can you proofread this? I'm reading her text. And one of the parts is, how do you lie without flinching?

That's plagiarism. She was like stealing lyrics from Olivia Rodrigo and placing them in the text. Honestly, resourceful and amazing. I love that about you. How do you lie without flinching? How do you lie? How do you lie? How do you lie?

I'm just going to try to defend myself. But like, there's nothing you can say. There's just nothing you can say. I'm going to throw up. No. Well, that's happy, though, because I don't like to have, you know, like loose ends. I feel like it's good to have good relationships with everybody you have like history with. Oh, my God. I'm sweating. I think time heals all wounds.

And I'm happy to be cool and be able to like root for his success and like mean it and stuff, you know, and take accountability as well. Like for my actions. I don't think he smells even so. I'm like, and he's not even old. He's actually not old. You know, she told me the other day he's 36. Oh, she made you made me think he was like 55. Yeah.

I thought he was like signing up for an AARP card. Mr. Big is the same age, literally. I need to talk about my Vegas trip a little because God, this whole podcast is so fucking embarrassing for me. And it gets worse. It gets worse. It gets so much worse. Lay it on us. I just went to Vegas. Obviously, you know, I like to dabble in gambling. Okay. Yes. And I just want the people at home to know like,

I feel like whenever I'm talking about something serious, like gambling or just serious vices, like the house is not going under. I'm not Bruno Mars-ing my shit, okay? Like I allocate...

I allocate a certain amount of money and I'm never going to go over that. And like, I work to have that money to play and I enjoy myself. And sometimes I will take it a few thousand dollars further and like feel like shit about it. You know what I mean? I was saying this to Ari the other day that like with gambling, it's one of those things where it's like when you, if I were to make a hundred dollars working and win a hundred dollars gambling, the hundred dollars I win gambling, it feels like a hundred thousand dollars.

you know, like it same. And that goes for the same side of like losses. You know what I mean? Like if I lose a hundred dollars gambling, it feels like I lose a hundred thousand. Yeah. Yes. Sorry. My contact hurts so bad. I'm like, I'm watching you talk like this. I,

I lost these two bitches. I'm sorry. No, I think I'm just, again, on a delay. I'm going to figure it out, but just get you probably halfway through your next sentence. You gamble the money, you're up. That was just a whole preface so people don't start making like whole ass threads and whatever. Like everything's fine. I don't know what a thread is. So I go to Vegas with the intent to gamble as I always do, right? And I brought myself a cash amount and

only my credit card and my credit card doesn't work in the casino so I'm like this is perfect like I've set myself up like I have my $5,000 in cash and like when that's gone like I'm done right I lose that $5,000 in cash faster than you can say credit card like I'm fucked

And like that doesn't normally happen. Like I really was just super unlucky, right? So then I start getting a little spunky, right? I start maxing out my friend's credit cards. Oh. I max out Ashley's card. I max out Amari's boyfriend's card too. It's like he didn't sign up for that. I love spunky. Like. Yeah, spunky. It's getting spunky. People have to eat, Tana. Yeah.

And I'm Apple paying them, you know, but I'm maxing out everyone's limit on everything. I run through that. Then I decide I want to get a massage at the table, right? And I have like 500 bucks in chips left. And so I'm getting this massage and I lose the 500. And then the lady, she just stops.

No, she keeps going. And then the lady finally is like, and I'm sitting there getting this massage, like rocking back and forth. And I have no money. And I'm like, I don't know how I'm going to pay her. Like my credit card's not going to work. I've maxed out everyone's credit card. So then I'm fucked. And now this lady's following me around while I'm trying to find her. I thought you were going to say like you asked her for money. You're like, ma'am, can I borrow 50?

And so, so now I owe this woman money and she's following me around. She doesn't take Applebee's. She doesn't take Zelle. She's like holding the massage thing and I'm asking strangers for money. I'm asking for a dine and dash. She's like laying high in your seat.

I'm asking like my casino host for money I'm asking the dealers for money I'm trying to Apple pay them for money like no one can help me and this lady's following me around for like damn near an hour like it is just bad no it's so bad so finally like Ashley has to call her bank I get extra money I pay the lady double obviously because she'd been following me around yeah you would lost funds you would think after this rock bottom moment I would be done gambling

I hit up a guy friend in Vegas who I know is just loaded and he ends up Ubering me like $5,000 in cash and I end up being fine. And that's not a normal thing that people can do. That's so 100%. And I need to delve into that in a second. Like that's a whole other conversation. So I end up being fine. But in the meantime, I'm on TikTok, right? And this girl's TikTok pops up and they really said for you. Okay. She's like, are you down on cash? No.

And she's like, do you know that if you're a pretty girl, like there are pay pigs all over the internet who want to send you money and men who just are really sexually into sending you money. Like all you have to do is go on these hashtags and do this. Stop. No, I don't like where this is going. Stop.

you got a pay pig page i dm'd 75 different old men like you're lying did you have any success you're lying no way and so all of their profile pictures look at this guy daddy michael look at him and like it's just like a g-wagon he has 42 followers like it's on private but like he's a pay pick oh shit do not tell bb about this and i start i start filling out forms i start giving them my paypal emails i'm texting a few people sometimes they

can steal money from you that way i know i know i know trust me i did all of the she texted me at like 3am going what's my paypal email that it checks out no way and i know there's i don't want to glorify that i do sign me up listen if if it works if you want to give me money for doing absolutely nothing dms are open i'm not kidding

I made like a thousand bucks. Wait, that's amazing. In fact, fuck like, and I was DMing all of them. Like I wasn't even saying hi. I was saying like, send me now, now send me money now. 500 now. And they were like, yes, goddess. Oh, perfect.

you're so much better than me and then i gambled the money away no i shouldn't be pay picking anywhere in las vegas go home i just go home imagine somebody like posted like tana moshe was begging me for money no tell me why i thought about it because i was sending selfies too and i was like face sapping them in case they got leaked you kill me stop stop stop why do you amaze me every day you surprise me i just i i mean i i saw the tick tock

I was on the for you. I ended up being fine. I mean, I was going to quit gambling forever. I think I'm done with table games until October. Well, I'm crying because she calls me and she's like, I lost so much money. I'm so miserable. I have no money. And then she posts her with a stack of cash in her hand. And she's like, I'm up. I'm like, no, you're fucking not. Why are you lying to people? You don't have any of that. In that time, I really came up. And that's what I want to bring me to my next segment is accepting gifts from people.

Cheating. What? Like if you know that a guy like wants you and he like gives you money. Oh, he gave you that money. He didn't loan you that money. It's up in the air. Some of it was a gift. It's this whole like thing. I don't see it as cheating. I just think it's like you're finessing.

I don't know. I don't think I would like it if my man was like accepting gifts from like some woman. I guess that's where there's like two kinds of people because if McCullough was like finessing some bitch who wanted him. I think McCullough should get 20%. That's the thing. Right. So then that's where I'm at because...

this a couple weeks ago this guy offered to take me jewelry shopping and like we're friends and we kick it and we all hang out in big group settings but like I think he has a crush on me right yeah but he's like like I want to go shopping let's go like yada yada I know he'd be buying me like a Van Cleef or something like that you're like checking my wrist I literally was and I didn't go because I was like weighing out like is this

But like if I were to It is wrong I think that's wrong I was gonna say Why don't you just like Talk to Mako about it And be like hey This is the situation Are you cool if I do this Instead of like going And doing it And then he finds out Like then it like Looks like something it's not I feel like if he Someone sending you money In an Uber is one thing Physically going to the store With somebody to let them Buy you something I agree That's why I accepted The money and not the jewelry Yeah I think that's That's

a compromise it's just weird right now i don't know what it is like with guys like like i've noticed lately like all of these like rich guys fetishizing that i'm taken that always happens though like as soon as you get into a relationship everyone comes out of the woodwork everyone and like they want you all of a sudden should i fake it right that and that's like i don't want anyone else i want only makoa like i love him literally so much i only want him you know what i mean i just and i'm

And I'm not like entertaining anyone coming out of the woodworks or anything like that. It's more just like people throwing money at me and shit. Cause it's like, I'm always going to have like the girl with the dirty door in me. And like, how can I not accept free money? Yeah. You're so flatter. I love the way, like your relationship with money. You're so good at it. Like always want to make more money. You'll get money anyway. Well, I think it's because I know that I have these crazy habits and vices and they only make sense to me. It's like offset it by like,

Yeah Like overcompensating You know what I mean Because it's like I would have to stop doing A lot of the things I love doing I think if I chilled out Like working And also finessing Yeah I saw that TikTok And I really was just curious If these pay pigs are real And if it's like a real thing That's crazy Because I'm so big on like Women just getting paid For being beautiful and gorgeous Fuck yeah I like Who is it Julia Fox Who always Oh man Oh She always talks about How she used to be like The dominatrix And she would just like Whip people I love that And like people

And like people hating on that are calling women like sluts. I think it's one of those things where at least for me, like I was always sexualized

Growing up So why And being so young And that was like Why I made an OF And like why I did Like everything like that Because I'm like These men are going To be like this Absolutely anyways Every single time Period So if you can reap The benefits 100% To wipe the tears With a dollar Like I'm always gonna die On the hill that that's These men are gonna slut Shame and sexualize us anyway We might as well get Fucking paid for it That's how I feel 100% Yeah and it offsets The wage gap Right They should be paying us For nothing

I agree. Yeah. Pay me to exist. That's all. I'm like going on that right now. I'm like, anyway, hashtag. I'm not even, I don't know if it's necessarily always that easy or like what it is and like whatever, but it was like,

Speaking of like, actually this has really no correlation, but I'm not kidding. I've been single for so long and it's like getting kind of embarrassing. Granted, like I don't do anything about it, but I want to do like a 90s rom-com or like a 2000s rom-com where like I hire a guy to be my fake boyfriend. No, I really think that would be amazing. I really, oh just, yeah, because I'm like, I want to make my exes jealous. I want to like pop out with a guy. Wait. I'm like, Erin, honestly, should we talk about what we've been up to?

Well, us? What have we been up to? My fake boyfriend. Please? Oh my God. Please?

Please work for the love of fucking God. Please, please, please. This was one of those situations where like it genuinely like kept me up at night in mental pain that you wouldn't talk about it on the cancel podcast. I honestly think it's hilarious and it started out as a joke, but like I started to take it a little seriously, honest to God. That's always how everything goes with you. Because obviously I was like sort of seeing a guy that I was like obsessed with.

And he was not obsessed with me back. Okay. And, you know, like we're spending a lot of time together and stuff. And I knew he was seeing other people. I'm loving these past tense. And I was jealous. I was very jealous. So I was like, you know what? I want him to think I'm seeing other people, but can't just be anyone. Of course not. You know what I mean? So I was like.

Who could it be? And I noticed that there was some speculation after I had been talking about a guy I was seeing on Cancelled. People were speculating that it might be Glenn Powell. The best things ever happened to you. I am here to... I thought it was so iconic. I never wanted to shut that rumor down because why the fuck would I shut that rumor down? I let everybody believe it. And I was like, you know what? Maybe it is. Okay. Glenn Powell keeps scrolling. Seriously. Okay.

seemed like almost believable because obviously the aloe connection he's at aloe every day we have like so many of the same mutual friends so it's like it makes sense that i could have possibly met and had some sort of relationship with glenn powell however i've literally never met him in my entire life and so one day i have the idea i'm like what if i just went ahead and changed page's number in my phone to glenn powell and i gave her the reins let her call me at her own leisure and

And boy, did she take advantage of it. I was getting FaceTimes from Glenn Powell at 2 a.m. At one point, I felt like a jealous boyfriend. I'm like, why aren't you calling me back? And I got into character. And I'm like doing this with my phone, like texting Glenn Powell. Like that's not purposefully moving your phone to the side. Yeah. Or just letting it ring and like and be or I would I would do one of these like.

It's like baby Glenn Is not calling you And it's also very funny To be like Netflix And chilling with the guy That you're trying To make jealous And Glenn Powell's movie Is like the home screen So all these like Really convenient accidents Have been happening

like hit man just came out it's the front page of netflix it's on every billboard and not only is it one photo of glenn powell 17 of him there was a netflix billboard that says like can we all agree that glenn powell and i'm like poor guy yeah they're all over los angeles everywhere brookwood texts me like every hour like okay call in 15 it

It was just like, it was a joke. And the car play makes shit like that so much easier. Like we've all done it. I say we've all done it. But it was like, I wasn't being crazy about it. I was, I was being very like, you know what I mean? It wasn't constant to the point where it was like, bitch, be for real. It was like so subtle. And it would be like, I would, I would just like catch him over my shoulder. And I'd be like, I'm all for making a man who doesn't want to step up to the plate. Like if you're obviously option number one, leave him. Okay. But if you're going to stay, let's be real. Yeah.

Give Give him hell Like 100%

I also, my favorite part of this whole scenario is that she got to a point, as you always do with everything, the catfishing, everything, you get bored of what's currently happening and you want to take it there, right? She was going to remove every single person from her close friends except for Mr. Big. Stop. And then she was going to save someone else's story that's close with Glenn Powell of him in the kitchen and put it on. Wait, no, no. That was a joke. I would never actually do that.

Am I still Glenn in your phone? Glenn Powell is in the canceled group chat and he is... Glenn Powell's on the podcast. Look, Glenn Powell, five away. No! Do you ever like get excited? You're like, oh, you know, this morning my Pilates instructor is taking videos of me and she's like, oh, Glenn texted you and it makes sense because she knows Glenn. I don't know Glenn. Brooke! Brooke!

But like they're, they all know about it too. They think it's hilarious. I'm, I don't know if Glenn knows about it. Glenn, if you're listening, please just know that I had to do it. Honestly. And like go along with it. Seriously. If you're one of the girlies. And also, also the man in question who I am trying to upset his sister listens to this podcast. Please keep it. Please keep my secret. Honestly. I love you. That is the funniest thing you've ever done. Like that is your best. I'm going to let it go on forever. He's everywhere. We're at breakfast the other day and the TV's playing Glenn Powell and we're just sitting at breakfast. I'm like,

And I'll go, I'll like take a photo of the TV and then just giggle at my phone and then put it down. You know where I see this going and what I'm praying for genuinely is that Glenn Powell sees this and he's a funny guy and thinks it's funny. And like this ends up in a story arc of you actually with him. Yeah, I don't think so. But so hot. I have high hopes. You're like manifesting right now. That is the best manifestation. I am sort of manifesting a man. Or like, well, I'll like speak it out. And then, well, actually, no, I've never successfully done that now that I think about it.

First time for everything. Can I have a sip of your Yerba? Yeah. I know. I'm so tired. My fucking contacts are burning. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm falling apart. It's the wee-ho. I wonder if Glenn is about to be there. I have to. I wonder if he's going to be there tonight. I'm excited. You should tell him. And then Glenn Powell pops up on your phone. He's like. I gotta change it.

I feel like if you do end up running into him, you have to tell him like, haha, funny story. No, I do. I know that like Sophie, one of my best friends, she like knows him really well. And I think that she has said something or she says she will. That's good. You're seeding everything. It's like funny. It's haha. It's not creepy. Just know that it had to be you because people...

Because honestly You're the most successful Yeah he's the Ed boy Nothing like Glenn Powell To upset a man who can't And how do you guys know He's not my friend He could just be my friend Texting me like that At 3am Yeah That's the joke You called me the other day He picks up my phone He goes Glenn Powell I go stop You're like Oh he's so annoying He won't leave me alone

No, it's just like, I love women so much. Do you know, speaking of manifesting, I found out something really fucking crazy. So McCall and I, we were just talking about like, I always think that our relationship is so like, like I genuinely do sometimes feel like he's my like soulmate and the universe brought me him and like,

He made me believe in a lot of things that I didn't before, like the universe and timing and shit. Like we were never supposed to meet. He wasn't supposed to be on Oahu. He wasn't supposed to be with Amber and other Makoa. He wasn't supposed to be there. I was going to get a BBL during those dates and then decided Hawaii would be better for my mental health. Like, what do you mean you were going to get a BBL? Remember the catheter? Remember, we had a whole conversation on this podcast. I took her to fucking Dr. Gavami.

for a consult that was like two years ago no this was last october i wanted to get a bb i don't think you told me yes we podcasted about it no i think you like jokingly were like oh yeah like i no i went to the concert i was like really gonna do it oh my god i'm so happy you didn't do that me too and had i done that i would be cheeked up and alone because i would have never met mokoa because those were like the same dates

I'm so happy I didn't do it. I was just going through a lot mentally and I think it was like, you know, whatever. So I decided Hawaii would be a better thing for my mental health. And it ended up being the best thing ever for my mental health, you know? And we ran into each other just like by fate. And like, I do always feel like when I'm talking to Makoa, especially in the beginning, like the way I was just posting him and shit, like I'd never been that like... Sure about somebody? Yes. And like grid posting, whatever. But I just knew, like genuinely my hardest of hearts, I just like...

Like I knew it wasn't going to be this like little fling. And like I'd be talking to him even in like the first month of like meeting. And I I always feel like it's like I've known you my whole life. Like the level of comfortability that we have is like not something that you gain in a couple weeks or months or whatever. Like whatever you know. We start going in our camera rolls on the phone the other night trying to see if we'd ever been in the same place at the same time before we'd ever met. Right.

And we've been in the exact same place at the exact same time, like five different times before we met. Shut the fuck up. Isn't that so wild? Like in Hawaii? There was in 2018, I went to Maui with Bella Thorne. And there was this day where everyone wanted to go parasailing. And I almost didn't go to it was like a whole thing, whatever. And we're in Maui and we get to this like boat dock and

And we go parasailing, like, whatever. But we were chilling on the dock, whatever. Makoa had a job next door to the boat dock. And he was working that day. Like, we went to our camera rolls, like, date and time. Like, we were ever so literally, like, one inch from each other that entire fucking day. That is so crazy. Can I tell you something crazy, too? What? Okay, so the same thing happened, like, with my ex-situationship, right? He's from Scottsdale, Arizona. And I was saying, I was like, oh, yeah, I've been before. The three of us went when you guys were doing, like, the...

the little tours right and like there was one night we were like at a bar and i said the name and he was like oh my god like that's so funny i used to go there all the time and i was like no way and he was like when were you there and i told him i was like oh it was like last october or something he was like huh and he went through his camera roll and he found because he knows yosi so he knew yosi and he's like oh yeah i'm friends with yosi like blah blah he goes through his camera roll he has a picture on his phone i'm in the background he took a picture of yosi and i'm in the background of the picture dude i'm

How fucking crazy is that? Literally insane. I've seen people like that who have like baby photos with their. Wait, actually, Miranda. Miranda Harrison. She has like baby photos coincidentally with her husband now. And they didn't figure it out until they were like literally married. It's the craziest shit ever. And I talk about this a lot. And I feel like I've talked to you about this. And I always say, like, do you believe in fate or coincidence? And I always say I've had way too many coincidences for it to not be fate.

I just now am getting on board with that. Like, I truly think that meeting McColl and falling in love with him was completely fate. And it's like changed my life.

whole perspective on all of that shit and when i look into like our astrology who made that video about you yeah like she talked about like you and him and how like my my astrology was like saying i would find love in hawaii and like that i would find love by the water and that we were supposed to like our astrology literally says we're like supposed to align in this period of time crazy it does say some awful shit as

No, no. I'm like, we don't believe that part. Yeah, at all. But I mean, it's so crazy. And I fully believe in the universe and I believe in timing. And I'm such a spiritual little bitch about that type of stuff. I really like I've been deep diving in on it as of late. Like I didn't believe in it for so long, but I like now it's it's so cool to me. I do think everything is fake. I was also just talking to actually my nail girl. She slayed me. Hey, girl. I was just talking to her about.

like the universe and how time isn't like linear it's always happening so when you feel something like so strongly like in your mind if you're like oh i'm going to be like a marine biologist or like i'm gonna like you know do work with whales or something and like it finally happens or like if you had your calling you're like i know i'm going to be like a youtuber right and then it happens and it's like when you're so drawn to something it's because it's already happening in the future but it's like like that's like simultaneously god i wish you just fucking cared interstellar

I'll watch it. It's the whole concept of Interstellar. It's like literally everything's happening at the exact same time in different dimensions. Like simultaneously, everything's happening at the same time. So like when you feel really pulled to something or drawn to something, it's because it's already happening. That is like so crazy. I don't mean to keep reverting to like the Makoa thing, but even that Hawaii trip, like, you know, I was saying to you, like, I just, I'm, I'm so down atrocious right now in every way. I just, I have to go to Hawaii. I don't know why.

Yeah. Like I genuinely felt like you just got pulled there. Yeah. Like how weird is that? And just for like the way that you guys met and for everything to align so perfectly. I just I don't believe in coincidence. Yeah. I think everything's preplanned.

so crazy to me yeah and that whole us being in the same place at the same time there isn't one of them there's like four yeah like we were in like waikiki at the same like bar on the same night on in 2020 we were at disneyland so at the same time like it's like it's just so weird your energy's like recognize each other and you had to link up it's like icloud or something soul icloud oh

Wait, I have a there's a picture. I think I don't know if I've showed it to you guys BB and I are obviously we're like three years apart, but there she showed me a baby photo one time and I look at the photo I'm like, there's no fucking way. We are I have the same exact baby photo same hair same It's a gingham overall outfit two pigtails two different colored things Our hands are stuffed in our overalls like this and we're the exact same age in the photo So they were taken years apart

but there it's the same exact photo of the both of us i can find it it's so crazy that's why and we're like how like how and we're just best friends now oh that's cute i have to show you that's really cute paige i often even think about us like i think it's so strange that you and i were born exactly one year and one day apart like your birthday is june 23rd and then like at midnight it goes into my birthday i pass the torch and like one year wait i want to see

What? Oh my God. Wait, stop. Look at the way our hands are. Stop. That's so cute. BB looks the same. BB has not changed. She looks exactly the same. That's wild. Wait, okay. You were saying like I passed the torch like our birthday. Like I just think you and I are like

Never in my life have I really met someone that I feel so similar to. I swear to God, Tana. Like, we have the exact same, like, thought process and outlook on absolutely everything in life. And, like, I wonder, like, it's so interesting that we were born one day apart, one day, one year. And just, like, the most niche shit that comes out of our mouths, we're downstairs, right? And Tana cut her ankle open, like, on glass before she went to Vegas. Oh, no. Really bad. I need stitches. Really bad. And we're downstairs, like, while she's getting ready. And at the same time, we go, gashed up, shawty. Like, just...

Which is a horrible stupid example But I'm not kidding like we finish each other's sentences Always We share a fucking brain Like literally every single day we just like say the same thing 30 times a day And I wonder if it has anything to do astrologically Oh for sure You know what I mean? Like that's just so interesting to me But I like my sister's a Cancer and you like remind me so much of my sister That's so interesting And we were talking the other day too Like we have so many like Cancer traits How

Like I can forgive, but I will never forget. I will never forget. And we had this whole conversation about how like what... I'm forgetting everything. Oh.

Oh no no no Like you do me wrong And I will never let that go Really Yeah And like I can forgive you See you be cool with you But like I will hold on To the moment Well I guess that's Yeah And like I will always remember How someone like made me feel Yeah Oh no I don't have that Really I have no sense of Emotional permanence whatsoever I can never imagine feeling Any other way than I feel In that current moment Like Whoa If I'm happy right now I cannot imagine what it Like

I know that it was true. Like, I know that I've been like so depressed, but I can't like, like I can't imagine it. It's just like a fact that I know about. It's kind of cool. Yeah. But it's like, it makes you more present, but it's not, it's a, it's horrible when you're feeling horrible and you can't imagine ever having felt happy and you think you're never going to feel happy again. Yeah. So it is wild. I will. I like, I forget. That's how I forget people so easily. And that's why everyone gets away with doing the most horrible things to me because I literally cannot remember how you made me feel. That's why I end up in these situationships that last forever.

Seven years long Because I'm like I don't remember What it felt like When you did me dirty Speaking of That is crazy And then poor BB Has to just babysit Every time I'm like speaking Of people doing Horrible things And never forgetting The smallest man Who ever lived Is engaged No no no I think it's a joke I think it was a joke Is it? Yeah I think it was Just like they were All like being crazy At the Kelly XDX Sheeple Sheeple Wait why would They do that? The way I was like No it was like So casual It wasn't even An engagement ring Right? It was like I think it was Just a joke Why?

Why play with me like that? I'm not kidding. I was ready to see Gabriela fucking Gabriela Healy. Yeah. Like I was saying it could happen. I could be wrong. Are they dating? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Remember, they were at the bar, the VIP bar. I'm like, Maddie, you can't be here. I literally was saying to Tana, I was like, you know, Taylor's living. She is throwing shit around on the PJ. She's breaking lamps on the Falcon. Oh, backsliding down the wall. Tears. Wait, did you see? Who is it?

uh what's his name other one jesse rutherford oh he's dating uh that girl valentina that little model oh i saw that yeah yeah yeah i'm quick that's crazy these men wow these silver like looking men oh you guys i have a hard out

Right now? Yeah. No. It's honestly perfect because you are not going to want to be here for this next segment anyhow. I love you guys all so much. I have to go. I love you. She's going. We've been really riffing. I'm going to find a husband. Honest to God, I'm going to find a husband. I know I'm going to meet my husband at this event. I love you, Rookie. I love you, Cooks. Ah!

Oh my God. Paige, I actually can't thank you enough for sitting through this bit with me. This bit. Right, right. It's not a bit. Oh my God. Dude, this is going to be so hard for me. I feel so far away from you. It's like weird. Should we touch feet? Oh my God, our dreams. I have tried to film what I'm about to try to film like countless times now. I had Brooke sit through it and I feel like she just, I'm sitting here talking about what I wanted to say and this was Brooke the entire time.

Like, I just, I don't want to subject her to this. And that's why it was perfect timing. She is going to find Glenn and I'm going to handle this without her for this one. Okay. Okay. Do you want me to chime in and like give some? Yeah. Especially even with the beginning of this episode. I am, I don't know what's happening in life right now with the universe, but I'm learning a lesson once again that I've learned so many times about sex.

I can't just be saying shit. And I don't want to blame myself here for this situation, but it's like, I'm now in this position to have to address it because there I went again saying shit, you know? And it's just a classic case of, I say something fleeting in the ways that I say something. And then it is taken very seriously because I'm usually trauma dumping and bread crumbing with a giggle. Yeah. And it usually is pretty serious and we're just so flippant about it and we'll just like talk some shit. And that's, that's always how I've,

dealt with shit or made light of shit. Like I'm just the type of person who does say things in a very like flippant manner. And then it's like, oh fuck, no, nobody else is laughing. Yeah. Like even just in real life, I'll say some crazy shit and I'm like, ha ha ha. And they're like, ha.

Yeah. Are you good? You know, and it's just like, it's how I am. But we were on tour. We were saying a bunch of shit on stage in a bunch of different games. And we thought we could trust the people as we had the whole tour. Cause it really was like at every other show, we were saying the craziest shit about people and it wasn't being brought to light. And however, I understand that this isn't just some crazy tea that,

It was a crime. Yeah. And I've tried to talk about this a million times and I feel like I never have the right words. But it's everywhere all over the internet and I know people want me to talk about it and I'm going to do my best right now, you know? I mean, I hooked up with Cody Cole when I was 17 and he was 25. Yeah, it happened. And I think that, first of all, it's really... I'm trying to think about it from a perspective of like...

A younger sister. Or someone that I really care about. Even the other day. Like I was texting. Just about her life. And everything that's going on. In her life right now. And I really. I thought to myself like. How protective I was over her. Especially before she was 18. And if something like that was happening. To her. I would.

I would never let it fly. Well, you know what I mean? It's honestly fucking disgusting. And I also think when you're that age, you think you know everything and you think you're way more mature than you actually are. And then from our age now, we can look at it in hindsight. It's 2020. And it's like, oh, my God, you were a child. Yes. You were young. I think a lot of things like that happened to me as well, because I really did have to grow up.

severely at a like a really young age you know what I mean like by the time I was 16 I truly was just like even when it came down to knowledge and wisdom and everything I was a 21 year old you were forced to grow up so early and because of that a lot of shit ended up happening to me that probably shouldn't have happened right and I think that I also have a really bad case of like

Like I to be 100% truthful when I look back at the Cody situation it is I definitely am like why was he doing that you know what I mean and there were so many situations there was a situation with Gabby Hannah at a playlist live where she pulled him aside and told him like yo she's 17 and then we still went and hooked up and I can look at that and be like like what why the fuck were you doing that but there isn't a part of me at least at 25 now I

I mean, I look back and I would never do anything like that. So I'm like, what the fuck was wrong with you? Yeah. But I don't associate or hold it with trauma because I am such a comparative person where I'm like, so many worse things have happened to me. And that's bad. I was just about to say, you can't do that to yourself though. Like, but I genuinely feel that way. Like I, it feels like,

All of the other people I hooked up with when I was 18, whether they were 30 or whether they were not 30 and they were my age and they were whatever. Like I was just in a place of life, especially the circles and world I was surrounded in in Vegas and then coming to LA. Like those are, if you're in the wrong realms, those can be very sexual places. And like, I was just hooking up with people and having so much fun. And like, that's the way my mind, cause I grew up loving him. And I think I, you know what I mean? Like I was just like excited and a fan and like,

And I understand that that's where now as a grown adult, you can say you were taken advantage of. But like, I don't, I just, I don't feel any of those emotions towards it. So that's why it's like, it's much easier to be like, go crucify someone when you feel those emotions. Of course. You know? And I mean, whether or not you feel like that now, and I mean, at the time too, even though you felt way more mature than you act, like than your age, you're 17, like even though you felt grown and everything, like,

And you didn't at that time it's like you don't really know what you're doing and like you don't really think it's wrong but again it's like he was 25 he should have fucking known better yeah like that's that's like I think where I settle on that and it's like it is really interesting to me because I have my feelings towards it right and like I'm expressing those right now and I said that on stage very much so as just kind I was being jokey about it and whatever right and

And it's almost like the public's reaction to this has made me feel 10 different types of ways that I didn't feel before. Like I have seen so many comments of people like on some, like, but what was she wearing shit? You know what I mean? On some like, well, it's Tana Mongeau. And like, and yeah,

Isn't that crazy? It's so fucked up. Because I really like, you know how I feel towards it, but now seeing all of these people like not believe me and say, well, what if she's lying or she's this and she's that and she's dramatic. First of all, there's nothing, I would never lie about that. Like I'm not going to put an allegation on anyone like ever like that, obviously. But then it, and then I just like, I feel so bad for all of these young girls because then they see that and then it makes them not want to come forward. And then I am like, wow, fuck everyone. Yeah. Yeah.

like seeing people not believe you is so crazy. That's fucking awful. Like that's, and I'm grateful that I'm the type of person that I don't let things like that discourage me, but I, it just makes me feel so sad for so many people that aren't like that, you know, definitely like, and how much people love him. I know it makes me like feel so sorry for any real victims of people that

That are really fucking loved by people because they still get at the end of the day they get their platform. He's going to be just fine. He's posted up in a fucking mansion. Well and just like it's going to go on in my day to day life. Like it's like I know for a fact if you swapped out Cody Co with someone that like people didn't like that much. Oh my God. I would be receiving so much more sympathy versus like the amount of people that

in this industry who like want to protect him and are like talking to me in a way where it's like they, you know what I mean? Like, or even just friends like, but, but I love him. Like, you know what I mean? And the thing is, is like, I still watch his videos. Like I do think he's really funny. And like, it's, it is this weird thing of like, I,

It would be easier and harder or it would be easier and less hard if he was like easily hateable. Yes. Like already just. Yes. And that makes me sad for other people in a situation like mine again, like where it's like because I do I feel fine and I want to just like. But I also think you feel fine because you've had so much time now to cope with that and

I don't know if you've unpacked that like in the past or if you're just starting to like do that now. But that's the thing. Like I hate saying this because again, if it was someone else or if it was a different scenario, but it's like if even if I try to unpack it to the fullest extent, you're not all I get to is like I was having fun at the time. Like I don't associate it with any trauma. It just was. But I think that that is because of

The life I've led. Yeah. And the thing, like, just worse things happening to me and also just how I was living at 18. Which is sad, though. Like, all of the guys that get away with it because I was 18. But it's so sad, too, because I don't want you to, like, downplay something like that. Like, it's really fucking serious. I'm really, like... I know, I know. But I'm saying, like, even, like, to yourself. Like, not even...

While filming or whatever, but being in your room, sitting with yourself and thinking and being like, oh, well, I've had way worse shit happen, so it diminishes this thing. It's also really sad to think of it that way. I don't want you to... You know what I'm saying? I just think I've always been like that in everything. I know what real trauma feels like. 100%. And that's like... Those things are real trauma to me. And then everything else is just kind of life and flippant. And I am that kind of person. You know what I mean? And I just...

I don't know. Because like if I really were to sit here and be like, I don't know how to put this without... Because I'm not trying to diminish anyone else's anything and anything else. No, of course not. And this is your own experience too. But if I were to sit here and be like, I'm a victim in this...

Was so horrible And oh my god I'm so traumatized And oh my god Like whatever Like I don't feel that way But then I just know it was wrong And he was wrong Yeah And I also think If you did sit here And you said all that Then it is just Kind of discrediting people Who really do feel like that Yeah Because then it's like You're making it into something That's not for yourself If that makes sense I don't know I think the whole situation Is fucked up And it's sad too Because I was a fan of him Like I would watch his videos Are you kidding? I would like order my Postmates and watch his videos And now it's like Yeah

I can't like look at him. It's weird. And like knowing like that happened to you and stuff. Again, not that it was like you're sitting here saying like it wasn't super traumatic, but still it's just weird and it's wrong. But still I can just objectively know that it's very wrong. Exactly. Even if you don't feel like traumatized by it, it's still just objectively wrong. And he is shitty for that. Yeah. You know? Yeah. 100%. Yeah. It is just crazy. And I think that, yeah, it really like...

The most traumatizing thing of all of this really was seeing how many people like don't believe people or don't believe me or like, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like that's just crazy to me. I'm like, it's really fucked up and sad. Like it's sad the world that we live in that people don't just, you know, but I don't know. Yeah.

And I just think about like Kelsey and the baby and whatever. There was. Oh my God. Like there was a while ago where I think I said something about it online and it was starting to surface. And he texted me like, are we good? And was like, and like, I said, yeah. And like, he was like, my wedding's coming up. Like yada, yada, yada. And I was like. Fuck, fuck. And then now it's like all these Reddit threads. Like if my name's on any thread, it's all getting deleted. Like I know it's, it's just a weird fucking fucked up situation. That is. Where it's like.

And I just feel like if I said it on stage, I now have to sit here and like explain myself. And I kind of just wish I didn't because it's like... Well, what's sad is I don't think you have to sit here and explain yourself. I think he has to sit there and explain himself. Yeah. But I mean, either he's going to deny it or admit to it. Like there's no real like further. And like I'm not seeking an apology. Yeah. I'm not... Yeah. You know. Damn. I'm sorry, T. Like...

Not like not even for like that but like that like you're dealing with all this shit right now Especially when it happened so long ago for it to resurface like at a point so much further in your life And so much further in his is so crazy like I can't even imagine like Because like we were filming crazy YouTube videos at the time as well And it's not like any like at the time people were just like shipping us and shit like you know what I mean Like yeah so it to happen like so much later in time is like

I wonder too if that's because like when your fans were watching like they were also young and like your age or younger. Yeah. Like they didn't realize either. But now that like you've grown up and everyone who like loved you has grown up to with you and like now they can look back and think and like recognize what that was. You know, like it wasn't just him. You know what I mean? And there's there's other people where I was like 17 for sure. And but then I

further than that it's like there were so many people when I was 18 19 and 20 yep that came flocking you know what I mean and now I see those same people doing it to other people who are 18 19 and 20 it's so gross there is a part of me that's like it's not just him it's the whole fucking industry in the whole world like and that's like where it's I feel sad that it is all just kind of

On just him when like the problem was so much greater than that. And like there are just some real fucking groomers and awful people walking the streets. Yeah. You know, like it's I don't know. I'll save it for the book. I'm like, yeah, stop yapping. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. No, but for real, it's just I don't know that I like. And I hope this doesn't upset any people because I really am just kind of.

Speaking through my stream of consciousness as I always have in my career like I just in my life on the internet like I'm just gonna tell you how I'm feeling and like yeah hope it I think before you even started you were like I'm I don't even know how like I'm gonna say this like I don't know how to put it blah blah you spoke so eloquently and I think like everything that you just said was perfect and I think it described your situation and like it was definitely better than the first try.

I might be way more traumatized than I feel and lead on, but like, I swear to God, I feel fine. I hate to hit and I feel fine, but I feel like I've worked through a lot of my actual traumas and still am. Shit can always happen. And I'm sure things also manifest in ways. I know things manifest in ways other than me directly feeling them. Like maybe I don't feel traumatized in certain aspects from certain things and other things I do, but yeah,

You know, maybe they just manifest in ways other than directly feeling. Yeah. Like crippling addiction problems. I was just going to say gambling. Right. Like take the money off red or black. Send 500 now, pay pig. Not kidding. Now. Okay.

Seriously, though. Well, thank you guys for listening to another episode of the Canceled Podcast. We love you so much. I love you guys. And Paige, thanks for sitting with me through whatever the fuck that just was. And Brooke is on her way to Glenn Powell and not involving herself in my scandals. We love you guys. Love you.

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