81: TANA’S ASSISTANT EXPOSES HER WORST MOMENTS.. - Ep. 81
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Hello and welcome back to the Cancelled Podcast. Today we are joined with the one and only Paige Camerlin. Stop, it's like doo doo doo doo. We've been begging Paige to come on forever and she always is too shy. I get nervous, I get nervous, I'm like sweating. Both of your lost voices are so hot, like that is the one thing I did not. No, you know I was on the phone with a man last night and he goes, you sound like Tana. What?

Yeah, that's the thing is it's like fun to have it occasionally, not just like all the time. I used to scream into my another picnic activity. I used to scream into my pillow and try to lose my voice. I could be like, oh, I lost my voice. Oh, yeah. No, no. I was like milking that extra hard. I'm like, yeah. Like screaming my balls off at Lana just to have this. Me too. Commit. So Paige is our new George Janko. I love it. I'm like, you're

your religion. I don't even know them. I'm Mike. I was just going to say who's Logan and who's Mike. Obviously you're Logan and I'm Mike. Oh,

Wait, is George Janko like the discard? No, he's like, he's like, I don't know. He was just like kind of there. No, no, no. Not in a bad way, but like some one day he was just on the podcast. Oh, wait, that's my Lord. But then like they started making fun of his religion. So then he got, he left. Oh, and they replaced him with Jeff. Oh, okay. Um, um,

I'm like, this is going really well. So far, so good. I was so excited to podcast today and then I blinked on everything. I can't stop thinking about the fact...

that I think I've been taking my makeup too far Brooke just said I have birthday makeup like we have prom like you have a cut a solid white cut crease it's like Miami birthday girl makeup like 21st in Vegas it's so cute though I remember I used to save all these photos and like I never knew I had hooded eyes until I was an adult and so I would try to do that it

It was bad news. Well, I just got carried away today trying to cover my sty. I can't believe you got a sty. How'd you get that? Dude, I just, it is always something. It is an eye. It is a foot. It is a toe. It is like, I was looking at my bathroom counter and it was like toe fungus cream, prescription eye cream, like prescription oral rinse for fucking like, it's just like, I fear I'd be too powerful.

You always have some ailment going on, but like half the time they're not even fucking real. Do you remember the time? Oh, I do. Bro, she sent me a picture one night. It was like 11 p.m. And I get a text from Tana. It's a picture of her ankle and it's orange. And she's like, help. I have jaundice. Help. What do I do? Help. She thought she had like leprosy or something. And it was literally, it looked, it kind of looked. You could see like the sock outline. It was her fucking Isle of Paradise spilt in your bag and got onto your sock. I was like mad.

mentally ready to amputate like i'm not even kidding at all i was fucking losing my mind we'll insert it and we'll actually insert it okay actually insert wait i texted tana this morning well no last night i find my toenail in my bed and you know how i glue on my toenails so i so i was like oh man gotta glue it back on and i just put it to the side on my nightstand whatever and then i'm taking a shower i'm taking a shower look down at my feet and i have both toenails i go

where'd that toenail come from whose toenail i mean it has to be like one of mine but you ever see how that like happens to the girlies like they'll find like a rogue nail in their bed and they're like wait i have my whole set it's like a glitch in the matrix that's literally exactly what happened or like when you find one in your boyfriend's car and you're like yeah sometimes i like plant seeds i'll like leave a hair tie like loose in my boyfriend's bed and be like oh no that's how i caught a man up recently yeah i know i said is that four hairs that are not mine

And it's always like the hair tie, especially if you're brunette, you really got to like be testing the buoyancy of that strand. I picked it up and it was like a little crooked. I go, mine would never. Oh,

Is this perfect? No. That's crazy. I know. I was like testing the shine. I said, this is not. I've always got like caught men with earrings. Like I just finding earrings that aren't mine. Yeah. The problem is like, they can't even deny that one. Like, yeah, that is so crazy. The last man I dated was questionably gay. Yeah.

But that's how I like him. But it was like after our first date, I went into his bathroom and he had earrings hanging like on a hook. And I walk out. Oh, and a claw clip, bro. A claw clip on his sink. And I said, I literally walked out. I was so drunk. I go, so who is she? He goes, what are you talking about? I go, the claw clip on your sink. He goes, it's to wash my face. I pin my hair back. And I was like. You know, if I saw a man like twist up his little hair into a fucking clip, I would kill myself on the spot. But that's the type of shit that.

That's the type of shit that gets you going. Sister, you scout for like drag brunches. Bro, I'm not kidding. Put me in Rock. I was on a Wednesday. I'm coming out with a man. Or five.

That is so shameful and so relatable. Yeah. It's a problem. You know what I want to fucking talk about so bad? Like speaking of Rocco's is the downfall of West Hollywood. It's I just, I can't, I can't even been going on. It was like a ticking time bomb though. Like that shit was bound to like happen. So essentially there's like all these bars down this one street on sunset in LA and it's all the gay bars and it's,

You know, it's beautiful. Pride. Slay. Okay, let me just get that out of the way, okay? Like... It's beautiful. I'm all for it, okay? Santa Monica Boulevard is not beautiful. In any capacity. I just want what I'm saying. Like, I want people to know that I'm not being homophobic. This has no... No, it's not the gays who are doing it. It's the only...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, fair. So essentially I avoid the strip at all costs. Like anytime anyone's like, and you're always trying to go. I love it there. I bet. I do. Shit's like my Disneyland. Every time I go there, it's like people, it's just evil. People are fighting, like running into traffic, like cussing out street poles. Everyone's roofied. Everyone's shit gets stolen, like whatever. And there's this one bar. It's just Lila. Yeah.

Not kidding. We need to talk about that, by the way. Yeah, I think, do we? Yeah, I'm going to get into that. But, like, essentially, I avoid this one bar called The Abbey at all costs. Like, I've been roofied there a million times. And, like, a couple times, too, it was like I ordered a White Claw from the bar and drank the White Claw. Did you crack it yourself? I don't think so. But, like, the bartender cracked it and handed it to me. Like, type shit. You know what I mean? And, like...

I don't know, like just the roofing out there, whatever. And they're finally doing like a full blown investigation on WeHo, like the Abbey. They're getting a full investigation. That's crazy. Because there's no one who hasn't been roofied there is the thing. Everyone gets their roofied there and their phone stolen there. Everyone. Yeah. That's like tenants. Like that's my favorite place on planet Earth. And like they've been shut down so many times for like drugs and roofing and all that. You're like, it's my favorite. I can't deal. That's just stresses me out way too fucking much. I'm just excited for it.

I see a documentary coming about WeHo. I feel like rumors often get taken out of hand and we have that on our hands right now. We do. Is this about the TikTok I sent you last night? Yes, dude. I sent Tana a TikTok and it's like, wait, you explain it. Well, I'm just, I don't know all the lore. I feel like, go ahead. Basically, the TikTok was like a Reddit, like someone had written this whole Reddit thing.

Because everyone's like, you know, having a conversation about what has gone on with Lila and the group and whatever. And it has been taken so far. You would not believe the things that this white is being accused of. Like that I wired her 20 grand on that Hawaii flight to like not go to jail. And then Lila kept it and called her like a fucking stupid cunt.

It's been so blown out of proportion that it's like, I feel bad. Like, and I just, I don't want it to go down like that. Yeah. So Tana did not wire Lila $20,000. And like this whole. She also wasn't robbing us. Yeah, she was not robbing us to my knowledge. I'm like, to my knowledge.

This whole shebang. Also, people are making it all over that, like smoking on the flight thing. And it's just nothing like I need to say this to her as well. So maybe I'm like a little ahead of myself, but I just want to say like, I appreciate all of the memories that like we had with Lila. And I do think that she is like the funniest person alive. Obviously that's why like I kept her around for so long. I like loved being around her in so many capacities. And I just like,

I wish nothing but the best for her. And I want people to know that. Like, I hope she absolutely slays and has like an amazing life. And there can be such a point where, you know, maybe we cross paths later in life and see we align and yada, yada. And I just like, it's not this big, like drama beef thing. I think I'm just in this place where I'm like really refining everything. It really like nothing ended horribly. It was just more like cutting ties and just like,

I personally don't know. Like, I felt like I was doing it kind of on my own time. I really feel like our two situations were like separate from one another. It wasn't even really like nothing happened. No one caught fire. Like,

It wasn't like this huge fight. I just personally, I don't know. That's not the vibe I'm on right this second. And it's not to say I won't be on that vibe later, but I'm not right now. And I've seen her out and like we were super civil and everything. Like there's no bad blood. There's no huge beef that happened. Yeah. Same. I don't, I can't remember. I want nothing, nothing but the best for her. I think I would be like such a sociopath if I didn't, you know what I mean? Like I spent so many years. Yeah. With like with and around her. It's not like, it's like,

this big crazy blowout happened. I just think I'm in like a really recluse stage of my life and a really, really wholesome one. Yeah. So it's like two different paths of life and that's fine. Like friends separate and that's life. Yeah. When you no longer have common interests, that's just the vibe. Like what are you going to talk about? Also, I think if we should have learned anything over the time that we've all been friends, it's that we like the Mindy situation. It sucks when everybody's just going and bullying somebody like,

I don't think Lila's this horrible person and everyone's like literally making her sound like she's like, like it's, I think all the bullying is just like so fucking unnecessary. And I don't want to be any part of any of that. Cause that's exactly what I'm trying to grow. I'm like, guys, let me bully her on my own time. That's the thing too. We always talk about that. It's like, it's so one thing, like,

To care about your friend or to say some shit about your friend. But like the Internet just takes shit way too fucking far. I know. And no one got robbed. Yeah. And people just like drawing their own conclusions is crazy. Like really nothing happened. Like truly nothing happened. I feel that completely. Speaking of the Internet taking things like way too fucking far. Have you seen all that shit with Dixie D'Amelio? Yes.

But she just made the funniest response literally ever. Essentially, all these people are accusing Dixie of being on drugs and she has a response. It was like during a live where she was organizing her closet or something, right? I so understand exactly how that happened. Like, it's so me. I agree that she does resemble a crackhead low-key in that video, but I think that that can happen if you have ADHD and you're just funny. Yeah, I didn't see the OG video, but like...

Oh, you got to put me on Adderall and put me in a closet and put me on live like babe. Like I was funny. She was being like goofy and funny. And then everyone's like, it's snowing. Give me one Vyvanse. I'm picking up dust with tweezers off my floor like 100% putting my dishes in alphabetical order. Seriously. Like I'm on my Hollywood Boulevard shit to low key when I take some Adderall like I just start yelling shit and whatever.

It's funny though, her response. Why is everyone saying it's snowing? It's so nice. This is some shit I would do on Coke though. Oh. Like. I don't know if she is. I don't think she is. I'm just kidding. I don't think she is. I don't either. As someone who has definitely been on Coke on the internet way too many times, I don't think she is. Yeah, you guys remember the. My friendsgiving. Can I just say that? Can I say that now? Like that was. That was.

That was, you did your big one. Dude, never forget. Like I was worried. I wasn't even there. And I was like, Oh God, I should, I call the police. She dropped her green bean casserole and was like stepping in it. I got hammered on the flight with Ty hammered on the flight home from Hawaii.

it was pouring rain outside. I spent the entire SUV ride home with my head out the window, like a golden retriever in the rain. Like I still just like thought I was in Hawaii. I think I came home, jumped directly in the pool. Like just that, like jumped directly in the pool. And then like went and made a green bean casserole, wet hair and all shattered it on the floor, made another one, invited every shooter. I know to friends giving. What's a shooter mean? Oh,

You know the type. I invited my shooters to Thanksgiving. All the time it's just like Swade Brooks and Oscar. Like...

That's one thing about Tana is she will make sure that there's two people in a room who would never, ever, ever cross paths in life otherwise. Absolutely. Dude, it's so funny. Yesterday, Isabella like had someone over and it's someone that I love. But like just someone that I see out in L.A. and like love seeing out in L.A. and stuff. And I was just like high as fuck, like hat man level, you know, and I like get all weird when I'm like.

You get all shifty. In my house, like I have a sty. It's barking. And it's like this like LA person. Like, you know what I mean? On my couch or whatever. And I'm like pacing about it and hiding in my room. And then I like thought to myself, I was like, Tana, how the fuck could you ever even remotely have a thought about like one of your roommates having someone over when you're inviting like

Everyone in LA with a face tattooed of Friendsgiving. So crazy. I remember we did. Oh, sorry. You know the meme where it's like a boiling pot and it's like ramen and chocolate being mixed together and it's like mixing friends on birthdays. That's literally what you do. That's just you 24-7. Like, why? The canceled podcast launched dinner. Remember when she was like, invite whoever you want? And I go, listen, if there's limited seats, I know I don't have a single plus one. Yeah.

Cause she will invite everybody. And sure as shit, there were 60 additional people and not only 13 seats. I invited like eight different boyfriends and I was like balancing them all. That was, I know she was like holding hands under the table with one and talking to another. I was like, all like three people on one chair. Her fucking mailman was there fully. So fucking bad. But that was my fault for having that on like day 76 after doing 75 hard as well. It was like, maybe have it on day 75.

Like I love this sobriety era with no limit because I don't I don't I don't have like a ticking time bomb in my head like oh no oh no oh no. So fucking real that is so real. Dude what I will say I've gathered my thoughts finally about Coachella sober I think I had to see it through before I like when we were shooting I was still in it you know.

I am so proud of myself and I had an amazing time. Wait, yay. Like I had such an amazing time and so many things that I will never forget. However, I will never go to Coachella sober again. So either that means I'll never go to Coachella again or that means next year I'm shooting up. Thank you.

Getting my own situation, my own house, my own everything. - Well, I'm proud of you for having a good time. 'Cause that's hard. I actually, it's not like, I didn't really drink that much except for day two. - Oh yeah, you were hammered babe. - Only day two. - You were so funny. You came up to me at the VIP bar and I hadn't seen you in like all day. It'd been eight hours. I was like, "Brookie." Your eyes are rolling back. You're like, "I just lost my phone." I'm going. - See, that was the night. And it was the same night. Everybody knows about the night.

It was so funny too because she just didn't care at all that her phone was gone and I was like trying to like. Because phones are easy. If my camera or something got stolen, I would have been miserable because it's like I can't get that shit back. We got a cloud. I was going, oh my God, I'm so sorry. Do you want to look for it? You go, meh.

No, it was gone and it was my fault, so whatever. And I had so much more fun as a result of it because I was like, well, who's taking me with them? Here's a long for the ride. And I chose the wrong one. Yeah. Oh.

Did you talk about that? Yeah, I told the story. Oh, that's good. Hilarious. Oh, he texted me. Did I tell you? What did he say? He texted me and he said, I'm so sorry for being. Well, the thing is, I also lost my phone. So I'm like, why are you texting me? He had to tell me he texted me and like send me a screenshot of it.

He said, I'm sorry. I was such a dick last night. That was uncool. I go, uncool is not the word I would use to describe that situation. You stranded me there. I was phoneless. He made me show up. He made me go there and I was phoneless. Literally like

tail between my legs i had no way to get home i was just fucking stranded it's just like blatant disrespect i'm just gonna start saying that like sorry that was uncool of me like on sorry that was uncool i go i'm gonna ruin you men are so like like that just like doing some fuck shit like that and then being like that was uncool yeah i've already planned out my um vengeance absolutely fuck his father yeah all of it not kidding i want

I wonder if he's hot. I have like a thing lately for old guys. Do you? And you know what kickstarted it? Yeah, sure do. Yeah. I have a thing for young guys right now. Me too. I'm like on polar ends of the spectrum. But like 21. And older than of age. Like a couple years older than of age for sure at least. Yeah, absolutely.

So I got a tattoo yesterday on accident. So basically I found this guy on Instagram and he was really hot and he like does tattoos. And I was like, damn, instead of just sliding and being like, Hey, what's up? I was like, let me book a tattoo appointment.

I could have easily just been like, hey, what's happening? You couldn't get a smiley face on your hand. You had to get a big fat honker on your back. You're acting like it's horrendous. No, it's so cute, but it's huge. Is it? Right? I don't know.

It's big. How big is it? Give me a comparison. It's like that. Yeah, that's big. Fat honker. He did. He showed me the stencil. He goes, how big do you want it to be? He shows me something like that. I was like, well, maybe a little smaller. It is funny to not get like, you know what I mean? Like a cross on your finger, but get a piece. But great position. Like you're laying like ass up. Babe, you know I was arching my shit. I was sweating. I was literally sweating like...

sucking in the whole time so like did you give me more lore so you get to this tattoo appointment it is solely because you want to fuck the artist yeah because I thought he was hot hilarious swear to god like and also it's like yeah I couldn't have just gone and got like a cute little like finger page it's huge but it's so beautiful what's the fucking tattoo artist's name on the picture we'll blur it we'll blur it we'll blur it

That's really traceable. Whatever, honestly. I just looked at the DMs. I was like, let me book this appointment. Couldn't have just got like a cute little finger tat. I had to get the fucking mumble mumble. It looks expensive. That's another element. Well, he also didn't quote me before I went in. Oh, no. He asked me. I told her I was getting a tattoo at Coachella. She goes, oh, what's he charge you? I go.

I honestly don't know. I'm going in blind. Well, you were trying to pay him pussy. Let's be real. That's what Bebe's been. Bebe's whole body. She did her whole body like that. That was really my plan A. Plan B was paying. So anyway, I get to this guy's apartment.

And you know I'm hitting him with the, damn, this place is kind of cute. I'm looking around. I'm like, oh, you live here alone? It's like a navy blue fitted sheet on like a metal bed frame. Like brown ass flat pillow on the bed. I'm like, he's like a little peep. I walk in. I'm like, oh my God, I'm folding immediately. But you know, he lays me down. I love he lays me down.

lay me down I fully just get on the table he says ma'am please get on the table I'm like yeah he lays me down also like I'm wearing like a tight little tank top right it's covering I'm like oh my god like should I take this off like is that easier he's like no you can just push it to the side I'm like what am I doing here

So anyway, we got to chat in and like it's going well. Like we're just shooting the shit. He's so funny. So fucking funny. So nice. We're getting into like our favorite music, our movies, da da da. I'm like, this is love. Like this is perfect. And then I get to it and I'm like, he talks about like his birthday or something. I was like, oh, like how old are you? 21. Oh no. My dreams came crashing down, dude. I was like, why the fuck? I damn near stood up mid appointment. I was like, yeah, I'll see ya. Yeah.

half a tattoo and just the wings. I'm like, I'm out. Dude, I swear to God, I was devastated. And I'm telling you. How is he so good at 21 though? He started when he was like 14. Oh shit. Yeah. He was part of the Zandemic. As a fellow victim of the Zandemic, a Zandemic joke is getting me every single time. Is that bad? Is that bad to say? No, as long as we don't put his name in, we fully put his name in. Sorry.

it's giving boat on the marina dock oh never never forget oscar but once you said 21 i'm like putting my coat on i'm like yeah all right 400 oh honestly i thought it was gonna be more than that i thought it'd be way more yeah i did too honestly but also maybe he gave you a friends and family he was kind of looking me up and down the end i think he gave me a little discount he was like um

400. Imagine if I was ugly, you could have been like 5K. Honestly, though, I've seen Paige get got lately. I'm not kidding. She got in to get her ear pierced in one of the cities we were in, and she spent $600. But you know how I justified it? I was like, okay, I'm going to have this shit until I live to like 80 or something. It's giving a dollar for a dollar a day. Literally pennies. Marianne. Pennies a day.

So that's how I justify everything. I'm like, well, if 10 cents a day, if I wear it every day and I never am. I love that. Yeah. So anyway, I've done so much of that, though, like literally going so far out of my way just to like be around a guy. One hundred percent. Oh, man. I need an example or two. Well, I switched my college so that I could follow a man. And then he literally didn't speak to me the entire time we were there. Like not even one. Have you ever told that? No. No.

You said it so flippantly. Well, I mean, no, yeah. That's crazy. And it was such a good choice. Nurse Brooke over here. I'm like, can you check out my sty? Yeah, no, I really, yeah. Well, what about how I've been taking horse riding lessons every single weekend? With just hope in my mind. Is that why? For you said too much. That's why.

- I'm trying to think, I don't think I have anything like that. Like I'm just a whore. - That was like, I was telling Brooke earlier, like in fourth grade, we get to pick our instruments for band or whatever. And I wanted to play the flute so fucking bad and picked the trumpet. So I had to pick the trumpet. And then I ended up playing the trumpet for eight years. - Didn't you just get married and you like cried? - Yes.

Dude, I thought we were like soulmates. Like I literally was like, oh, it's one of those things like we're going to go our entire lives and like fate will bring us back together in the end. We just got fucking engaged. Oh my God. Fate keeps bringing me the biggest fucking losers. The universe is doing horrible things to me lately. I haven't had good luck literally ever. Every single situation has been like completely just like how the fuck

Dude, I really, I was saying this downstairs. I'm so team you. Like I would tell you if I felt like you were doing something wrong, like you're picking these guys that seem like such good guys. And I'm like, that is such a good catch. He would never do you wrong. This is, you're going to, and then it's like, yeah. Oh my God. I get got every single time.

But it's like, I am the common denominator. So at what point do I have to wonder, like, what am I doing wrong? Like, if you were out here picking like a Blake Griffin or like, you know what I mean? Like, like an athlete or some shit, I'd be like, okay, well maybe like whatever, but you're picking these like nice little guy next doors. And like, yeah. And then he goes next door and...

as an orgy and it's blowing my mind. I feel like, but I feel like this is that period where you're like putting the work in and then something's going to come. I hope so. But there's something to be said about picking the nice guy. Cause like none of yours are nice. But I was trying, I was trying, like they seem nice in the beginning. It's not like I pick a guy. Yeah. Like deceivingly nice guys. Yeah. That's the problem. But God, I just have bad judgment. I think, I think I need to do like background checks.

Well, yeah, I really do do background checks. Yeah, that's really fair. Where are you from? There has to be an app where you can like leave reviews. Don't get her started. I'm kidding. I have a whole pitch. Sharks. Yes, literally sharks. Pitch, pitch. I love this pitch. I literally think there should be a dating app. Someone's going to steal this.

Honestly, we'll take it. You heard it here first. There should be an app where like after you go on a date, you can write them like a Yelp review. Like you can give them like five stars and be like, oh my God, they were terrific. Just like not for me. Like some black mirror shit. Or if they're fucking awful, give them one star and like leave your whole review. There's that for sugar daddies. Really? Yeah. You can review them on seeking. No, you can look any of the guys up and like see if anything horrible, like they've done anything horrible. Oh, I remember that app. And I don't know this from personal experience, just for the record.

But like, or lead, I like the part in your pitch where you talk about leading with red flags. Like on Hinge, how you have three prompts instead of that. Like people being like, I'm an avoidant attachment. I'm this, I'm that. Like almost leading with the negative instead of the positive. Yeah. So the whole app, the whole thing is, it's called Red Flags and it's like,

meme with my tagline like put your worst foot forward and you like say your red flag so like what i love that because then it's like then i can decide whether or not i'm okay with that or not yeah exactly instead of having to find out later yes i love it page so for example someone who's like i really want to be in an open relationship you can just x them out that was a personal attack we were talking about this downstairs but that is just

It's so funny because if a woman is like, I want to be in an open relationship, I'm like, that is so camp diva. That's fuck. I know the same. I'm like, wow, good for you. But then. But anytime I also ever said that I was just an awful deceitful slut. So it's like, you know what I mean? Yeah. When a girl does that, I'm like, wait, wow. Yeah.

diva so good a guy doesn't like typical man yeah it's so true but you believe that all men will cheat yes i wish they wouldn't my whole thing is like put a man in a room with margot robbie give them like two martinis their fault that man is folding yeah well yeah but that's not cheating that's like not not being stupid you know yeah so it's cheating so it's cheating but like what if you you have to hope i guess that your man never has an opportunity like that

I definitely am hoping that. I don't know. See, but then I think like McCullough wouldn't. Yeah, there are like exceptions to the rule. Nah, he fucking would. I'm just sitting here with my rose colored glasses on fucking looking around. No, I thought about it for a second. I actually think it's like he might not.

Which is a progress, at least. Might not. That's pretty good. That's as good as you can get. That's as good as you can get out here in these streets. Really. I just wish I were almost okay with it. Not that I'm okay with it, but I wish it didn't literally make me sick to my fucking core. Because so many people... I know...

couples that get cheated on all the time like huge amazing like couples yeah you know what i mean yeah dude one of my friends from home was dating this guy for eight years like high school sweethearts like everything and we always said we're like jason loves like this girl so fucking much he would never do anything he's the sweetest guy in the fucking planet cheating on her the whole fucking time the entire fucking time and we would always be like he is the nicest most perfect guy he's head over heels in love with her

Yeah. No, it's always the ones who are doing the most, who are doing the most, doing the most. That's what I think. I almost feel like I'd rather have a guy who doesn't give me that much attention. Cause then it's like, okay, well he's lazy. He doesn't have attention to give to anyone else. Yeah.

That is really fucking fair. Honest to God. Like if man is going above and beyond for you, you best believe he has the energy to do it elsewhere as well. Oh yeah. That is so fucking true. That is so, so, so fucking true. You know what I mean? Like I personally couldn't even engage in that kind of activity because I'm so fucking lazy. You're lucky. I'm even giving you the time of day. I'm now like that, which I absolutely love. Like I know I'm no longer an awful whore. Trifling. Trifling. Yeah. Which is good. That's behind me. I was thinking about that the other day. You were so good. I know. I know.

like disgust at yourself I do miss turbulently ruining my life sometimes I really fucking do but I think it's like a weird like mental thing though because sometimes like yesterday I just was self-destructive I was like what can I do right now to like literally like hurt my life and I did exactly that what was it? answered the phone laughing

That's fair. That is fair. Sometimes it's fun though. You have to like spice it up a little. I know. And I don't like, I just, when everything's going to right, it like almost feels weird. Yeah. I agree with that. And I have to like really, you know what I mean? Dial it back. Dial it back. I think my life is getting, wait, I was going to ask you this. I've been thinking about it and I'm like, what do you think it is? Cause I've been in such a good mood lately. Like just genuine. No, no, no, baby. That's been, that's been going on for quite some time. I think it's cause I work out now.

Cut the cameras. Deadass.

i'm so serious because this is like i i literally i remember i had a therapist tell me that she thinks i should work out and i nearly well first of all i left her immediately on the spot yes because i was you dumb fucking whore yeah and i just refused to believe it but then i'm like god i've been working out and now i just feel so happy when i saw that the monday morning after coachella or sunday tuesday whatever fucking day it was like just directly after coachella you were at a workout at 9 a.m i was like

She's American Psycho. I'm not kidding. Which I love for you. I do agree. Like anytime I've ever been on my workout kick, I have more serotonin and shit. I'm so happy. Like nothing can bring me down. I need to do that. I've been smoking too much weed lately. I'm becoming like, like I'm crawling places. Like I, it's, it's getting really out of fucking hand. I'm not kidding. Like the other day I ordered a bunch of no home munchies after Coachella. And even that's just a low point. What's no home munchies? Brooke. Brooke.

Brooke is like the thortiest thort, thort, thort. You could possibly. Nobody knows what thort means either. It's the bingiest binge, binge, binge food you could ever eat. It's my, it's one of my death rows, but like, I also know that when I'm ordering it, I'm mentally on death row. Like it's like,

wait no like do i want it it's the hot cheetos on top of the corn like it's like the hot cheetos in the ramen like it's like a banana pudding oh my fucking with like the vanilla wafer but everything is super size me level like it's like oh watermelon but it's like we're here yeah oh yeah i know the radius if we were fucking two blocks over we wouldn't get it it's in noho um

I fucking love it. But when I ordered that, I know it's like a low point for me. Like, it's like, I just, it's one of those restaurants that I just don't need. It's so radioactive, you know? And I got it and it was at the bench at the edge of my bed and I couldn't get there. I was in the bed and I couldn't get there. Like for an hour, I was just staring at it. And I was like, I had to like-

I don't know, dude. Like my laziness is just at an all time. Oh, that's peak. Yeah. My laziness is at an all time. I think it's like one of those ADHD things like where it's like you get stuck. Yeah. Like I'm getting stuck. I had the biggest episode. Yeah. Like I don't know what it's called, like executive dysfunction, something like that. But like I just. Oh, my God. Yeah.

But then I have to take Adderall to like not get stuck and like literally do absolutely anything. But that Adderall is its whole fucking other beast. Me too. And now I'm bullying my friends. Yeah, it makes me way more of a cunt. Like, I know I'm not even I've limited. Sorry, I've limited myself. I'm only allowed to have Adderall on days I'm not going to see anybody.

yeah like i have to be alone because if i see you on adderall you're catching tana that's like scary like robotic not scary but like robotic i'll be like oh my god tana like this amazing thing just happened she goes wow that is terrific i know i noticed it a little bit on tour like yeah i have to um wait i literally didn't take out her on tour fuck i'm associated oh did i yeah

It makes my emotions very like, and I mean what I'm saying. Like I feel so excited or whatever, but it makes it like to where I'm just so robotic and shit. But it's like, and yesterday I took this fucking, my doctor prescribed me generic Adderall, but it's giving like carcinogens.

cartel like I felt fuzzy I felt I love it I prefer it in fact I just got a bottle dropped off of my house I like couldn't walk I felt so weird I felt so fuzzy but now I'm looking at myself and I just am fuzzy like shave your legs you know what I mean maybe that's the problem I'm having a really guys never mind oh I have also a patch on my back right here where he was like taking like alcohol swabs and like wiping off my spray tan so it's like I'm just tan and then I have like a white circle around my tattoo and I know he was stripping off layers I'm like yeah that's

crazy dude I'll like ask a guy for a massage and then forget I have a spray tin on and feel it like balling up and I'm like I know he thinks this is gross it's balling it's beating up it was before Turks you had like the fresh guy Corey smack down oh my god and Kai started giving her a back massage and then she had those two big circles girls I do the picture it's the funny thing I have tears

It was so funny. I need one of those before we go back on tour. I want to literally be so tan and gorgeous. Oh my God. Yeah. I love the Guy Corey special so much, but I'm just always fucking it up. You know what I mean? Oh my God. I have the cum shot tan. Oh my God. I think I stole someone else's spray tan the other day. I'm not kidding. I get a call at 8am from my concierge and they go, your spray tan's here. I go, what? I go, okay, send her up.

And it was just someone else who lives in your building. Must've been. That is hilarious. Didn't you like do the same thing with maids one time? Like maids came to your place and you were just like, yeah, how about it? Maybe that was Lila. It was definitely Lila. Yeah.

I woke up today to a dream of a text, a dream of a text in a group chat with you. I can't even say it. I'm so heartbroken. On May 1st, I was invited alongside Brooke to be one of five influencers to have the privilege of meeting Gypsy Rose Blanchard.

I know. That's the only thing about tour that's so frustrating is the things that you have to miss. Like, I love tour. I would never trade it for the world. Like, I'm so happy we're going back on tour. But you're telling me I could be in a room with five people and miss GRB? Yeah.

Like, you know what? I feel like that opportunity will present itself again. You're going to get so lucky and you're going to run into her at fucking Alfred's. I don't know, dude. She's just... She's on such a pedestal. Like, she is my new Helen Keller. And, like, she's alive. Like, it's like if Helen Keller was alive. Like... Weirdly, like, I completely get comparing her to Helen. Like, you know what I mean? Just, like, those figures. Yeah, it's just like, oh, she's literally a historical figure. And it's like, just imagine, like...

I feel like I would put her on to so many things. She's probably, she's definitely seen, like she's so online. It's kind of like being in like a time capsule. Like she was like frozen in time. She's just like unfrozen. Exactly. Like thrown out into the real world. That is so true. Right? It's the closest thing you have, I think, to like kicking it with a, God, this is going to get me canceled. Kicking it with like a Victorian child. That ass. Give her the rose vibrator. Like,

Oh my, exactly. I want to tell her about lip flips and 2CB and M-Sculpt. Are you kidding? She's definitely done 2C by now. But like at the off chance she hasn't, like I want to be the one. You know what I mean? Like I want to tell her about how you can charter yachts. Like I want to tell her about waist trainers. Let's take her to Miami. That's what I'm saying. Like all the things...

especially with the path that she's on right now, like the tattoos and the cigarettes and all that. Like, this is my alley. You know what I mean? I want to tell her about an R U M I corset so bad. Like there's just so many fucking things that she doesn't know about. And she doesn't even know what she's missing. Oh my God. It's actually crazy. Like I want to take her to the rainbow room. I saw a rumor that she divorced her husband because he snored.

See, she just keeps getting better. Like, I fear we have way more in common than we, you know, we're more alike than not. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, I'm just so fucking bummed about this. You know what I mean? And like, I'm not to shit on all the other influencers going, but it's like their approach would just be so different than what I think I have. What brand is even putting, putting influencers up with gypsy blanches?

Wait, yeah, who actually invited you? Like, now that I think about it. What type of ExxonMobil ass shit? Like, that is so true. Yeah, like, what, you know what I mean? Like, what's the context? Like, I need more information. Honestly, have her send us the details. Yeah. Imagine just, like, putting an AirPod in her ear and, like, having her listen to video games and, like, smoke a cigarette with her. She would fucking love it. Prison is, like, not as, like, prison-y as you think it is. Like, there's so much to prison. That's true. You've got iPads and fucking hair salons and, like. So true. And no home munchies food. You do. You can literally get your hair done in prison.

Was she in federal or state? Probably federal because she's she was there for a long time. Eight years. Federal prison is like like Disney. Cute outfit. Like the Grove. Some of them like look like resorts. I'm not kidding. They have slippers and shit robes. I'm serious. Stop pitching. I'm serious. I will fuck around and find out if you went to prison. What do you think you would go for? Both of you. You know, I have a funny story. I would go for stealing.

In Tana's first memory. Also, I don't even know if you guys know, I've been working for Tana for like three fucking years now. We had no intro here. I'm her assistant. Everyone's just like, who is this bitch? They know you, you know, intro needed. Love that. No, the Tana's first fucking memory of me as I started working for her, like two days in, I made a bad joke and I go, yeah, sometimes like when I'm drunk, I'm a klepto.

It's her first ever day at my house. And Kyla hired her. Kyla was my executive assistant at the time. Hires Paige. And at the time, my closet was just a mess. So her job is closet organization. And she's making a joke about how she's a klepto. I'm like, I'm going to... You would have done her so many favors at that time if you had just robbed her. Not kidding.

It's funny because I really accredit that to bars. Like, had I been sober, like, you know what I mean? Like, I probably would have, like, maybe, like, kept an eye out. Like, yeah, or, like, second guess. Or, like, thought about, like, whatever. But now I just know your sense of humor and I love it so much. You're just like me, though. Like, just trying to be funny, like, too quickly. And then it was like. Like, what a crazy fucking comment to make. First day on the job, I'm like, yeah, I'm a fucking kleptomaniac. Like, first of all, no, I'm not.

I know for some reason I tell every single first date that I love lying and you don't say that to a guy who you're like trying to date. But I get that. You like to test the waters. Yeah, and last time it didn't go well. He was like, that's literally horrible and embarrassing. I was like, well, that was a lie. I see. So I would go to jail for stealing. Okay. What would you go to jail for? Dude, probably like...

like how the situation got caught up, like some tax evasion or some shit. Oh, for sure. That's how I'm going. Isabella just came home and she was like,

she has to pay her taxes and she like had, hadn't in a while or something. So she's freaking out. Cause it's like a big lump sum. And she was like, has that ever happened to you? And like, I will, I've talked about this on the podcast before, but like when I had to write that check for $1.7 million to the government, when I was with Jordan, like I just didn't pay for yours. And that's insane. We allegedly, it was supposed to be handled and allegedly it wasn't. And he just came to me one day and I like couldn't post mates and shit. I'm not, I'm not going to lie. I'm currently filing for,

No, for three years. Really? Oh. But it's because my dad told me I didn't have to and like...

I wasn't making any money. Like you don't really have to file if you aren't really making any money. Do you pay your taxes? Every year, baby. The way you're like, I like employ you and don't know that. I'm like, no. Yes. I just miss having a job where they were taken out automatically. It's like, well, that's another element too. It's like I had a job. Like I don't, those first two years, it was like, whatever. Do you pay taxes on shit like Depop?

Like, is there any way to like dirty money it up in the influencer space? Yeah. There's so many things you can like that. Literally, there's people whose entire job it like it's their whole job to like write everything off. Yeah, I know about all that. It's just like there's little intricacies that do end up obviously adding up. It was so crazy that do you remember that year where Revolve set a bunch of gifting to all these influencers? Like they were sending everyone. Yeah, I got that. Do you remember that?

I got got. Wait, what happened? Because they were sending me like thousands and thousands of dollars of gifting. And you don't understand that you have to pay taxes on all of that. So then I owed all this money on all this free stuff I got that I didn't even really ask for. Are you serious?

yeah all these influencers were like like you know what I mean like smaller influencers like tripping and shit up and arms now but like I think you should be able to decide like if I had known that I might not have accepted so much yeah because you think it's a gift yeah it's not a gift oh that's crazy I mean it is a gift thank you I love you I had so much fun at the festival Brooke I love seeing you like transform into your brand safe era like I just feel like I think I've been brand safe this whole time but

But like you're a little more cautious now. You know what I mean? Which I respect, but I obviously I'm never going to fucking be like that. So I feel like I have to keep the canceled on our back. I'm like, and fuck. Right. Keep it in. Keep it in and keep it in.

I think that you are going to be an amazing addition to the canceled podcast. I think you're a nice third little guest, especially when I feel like I can't carry. I just I just did three hours of just Trish. So I feel like I literally exhausted all my topic. When I found out you were coming here after that, I was like, damn, she's brave because I feel like I give more at Trisha's like I give everything I have. I leave there. I felt I left. I was like, oh, my God, I have the best personality ever. That was so fun. And I just like love talking. And then it took me a whole hour to get here. And by the time I got here, I was like this.

Yeah. Yeah. I leave Trisha's and I feel like I'm on a Molly come down. Cause it's such a serotonin high, like being there. And I love her. She's, you know what I mean? I wanted to bring her bulldog ramen today because it's in paint packaging. And I was like, Oh my God, this is so Trish. But then I was afraid it would like literally induce her labor. Brooke. I tried so hard. Like when you originally came to the forefront with your bulldog obsession, I was like, listen, like whenever you like something, I like want to try it. Like, obviously like, you know, that's what you do as friends. And I was like,

I just don't need to try this because like if she is this obsessed with this like radioactive food, I know I'm going to have a serious fucking problem with it. And I finally caved and I have been housing bulldack ramens. Like it is just nobody's business. And it's like lucky for you. I'm about to buy this town out. I feel like I shit out a noodle that was like sizzling. Like it's like.

Oh my God, it's so good though. It just makes me sick. I wish I could get a Bulldak brand deal. I'm trying to only do brand deals that are like things I use, you know what I mean? And like, I've talked about Bulldak so much. You should do like a, yeah, a Bulldak giveaway. I don't want to give it away though. But dude, I'm so serious because you've been hyping it up for so long and I was like, oh, it can't be all that. Like whatever. No, no, no, no. I had a bite. It was all that. Oh, it's so good. Have you been putting heavy cream and cheese in it?

No, she always asks me this. Like, I just don't think that you realize that I will never be someone with like heavy cream. You don't even know what it's like. You don't even know how good it actually is. But it just already feels heavy and creamy. No, because you're supposed to put like a dash of heavy cream and just like a handful of mozzarella cheese. And it is so my. I want a fridge tour. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Lucky for you. Lucky for you. I just took a photo.

Literally yesterday. You should see the contents of my fridge. No, look at my pan. Look at the contents of my pantry. I took a photo yesterday because I was like, this is humiliating. Look at this. One coffee creamer and Trader Joe's smoked salmon. That's it. Look at my pantry.

Oh, that's insane. Let me see. That's insane. Oscar, I'll send you the photo. But it just is like, there's not one thing that doesn't clog your arteries in that whole thing. Yeah. Whenever I go to Brooks, it's so funny because it's like only PR really, or like, like niche orders. I literally live at like the Willy Wonka fucking chocolate factory.

But then they'll just be the month like this, like a jar of Rao's like weird potato soup. Like that, like she loves. I noticed I haven't opened it because I'm busy eating the fucking buck. I have Bucky's Bucky Beaver nuggets in there that I ordered on Amazon. I don't like things that taste like maple syrup.

Those were so good. It was like French toast. I'm not going to lie. I got these for a man and then I, and then I decided to keep them for myself. That's real. You know, what's crazy. I don't know the timeframe of when this was happening. Could have been 10 years ago or 75. And you can let me know. But like, if we were in the era where like they lobotomize women, we would all need a lobotomy. You look up right now, Oscar, what were the qualifications for women to get lobotomized?

like to need lobotomies back at that time i think you just needed to be a woman yeah i think you just need to like say something to a man and they were like scramble your brain i actually think it was like like adhd mania like just anything and they were what is a lobotomy i think it's like when they take the like the ice pick and like scramble your brain or they remove like half your brain i don't know something something brain but then all of a sudden you're just

Yeah. They like take out part of your brain and then you're just like. But were people coming out like talking still? No, not really. And you should see like what. Is it giving Xandemic? One of the members of the Kennedy family, they got her a lobotomy and she wasn't even like, like nothing was hardly even wrong with her. They got who a lobotomy? John F. Kennedy's like.

niece or something i don't remember what it was but she you see like the before and after and it's so crazy like there's videos of her i feel like back then a woman was just like i have an opinion they're like lobotomized get that bitch out of here so it doesn't specify women but it says patients with schizophrenia severe depression depression ocd and in most cases people with learning difficulties

We're fucked. Yeah, we would have been so fucked. But it does say that it was mostly performed on women.

Wait, what? It does say that it was mostly performed on women. That is crazy. Crazy. Speaking of people who need a lobotomy, I want to talk about pregnant people at Coachella. I feel like that's hilarious. And this is one of those things where maybe a lot of my hatred is rooted from jealousy. Like, I wish that I... Like, I barely have the energy to be a non-pregnant person at Coachella. So I think that that's, like, where my anger is coming from. But, like...

Why? You know what's so fucking crazy? We were waiting in line at Will Call to get our wristbands, and I saw a five-year-old run up and get a band, and I was like, wait, it just hit me that there's not an age limit on that. Yeah, people push strollers around Coachella. It depends on what stages they're going to. I remember during Peso Pluma, I turned around, and I saw damn near, at most, it was a three-year-old on someone's shoulders with headphones. And it's like...

Yes, they're taking the precaution of giving the headphones so that it is crazy. So it's not, you know what I mean? Like damaging its hearing. But like, I still think that's kind of fucked up and selfish. Yeah, honestly, I don't think it's I think it's so cool. I think that if I had a photo to show of me at Coachella when I was three, I would love that.

- I don't know. - But imagine being three at Coachella. - So fun. - And you see a bunch of people with like Molly jaw doing a seance and shit. Like that's like fucking weird to me. - You're like, I can't wait to grow up. I think I would have so much fun. - I also think- - That is a little crazy. - Just the pregnant. - It's just like a dangerous ass environment. - But there's also like, it depends on who you're seeing. Like there's so many artists on the Coachella lineup that are just like really chill, like little indie artists. And then these little like hippie people will bring their babies and they'll like dangle them by their hair.

I understand maybe like, yeah, like bringing your like six year old to Coachella, like when there's, I don't, but the stroller of it all and the pregnancy of it all. I also think that I think about pregnancy.

Like if I was pregnant, I would genuinely be scared to jump up and down. No, my mom went rappelling when she was pregnant with me, like literally off the side of a mountain. I mean, she was also my mom. But Ivy went nine months pregnant to Coachella, literally nine months. And just like people run into you. It sounds really fucking dangerous. Yeah, but you could do a lot too. Like it's not like really that easy to fuck up.

That's really why I can never be pregnant. I would not move. I would have bed sores. 100%. I would have bed sores. And I know we're different in that regard. You'd be on the fucking reformer, like killing it. There is a girl who has been doing reformer Pilates at Allo, literally fully pregnant. I don't even know like the parameters. Like you can't eat chocolate, right? You can't eat chocolate. And you're going to go to Coachella? No.

No, but all of those are like, it's not recommended. Like, you can drink wine when you're pregnant. Like, I'm not gonna, but you can. Paige, do you, can I tell you a fun fact about me that I don't know if I've ever shared with you? Wait, please. One time I ate a Tide Pod. First of all, I did know that. And also, like, that's, it's predictable. That's so upsetting. I just was really thinking about that the other day. That's giving Zandemic. Like, because I was definitely just, like, not in my right state of mind. I think...

You would die. I promise you. I remember the taste more than anything you can ever remember the taste. I don't know if I like fully chewed it like on some bulldack shit, but like I know that pop was satisfying as hell. All get out. I have a lot of fear about Murphy. I have like an irrational fear of Murphy getting a Tide Pod.

I just look back at my like, my era when Elijah Daniel was my best friend, like when you have that friend that's like equally as crazy as you and like down to egg on that behavior, like the things that I did during that era, I just can't believe like, that's why I had to get rid of Lila. I was like, why am I doing this? Just kidding. I love you, Lila. Well, Brooke did ketamine this weekend. I did do ketamine this weekend. Can I say that? You did? Yeah.

- Yeah. - That Coachella gave it to me. He gave me Molly for the first time last year. And this year he came by, he goes, "Open your mouth." I go, "Ah." He pops in the fucking shroom chocolate. I said, "Thank you." - What was ketamine like for you? - I didn't actually do ketamine. It was like this little square. I was like, "Come on." I was like, "Okay, fine."

think that if so long as you're not snorting it they told me it was just gonna make me feel more drunk i am so against like i don't do any snortable drugs these days that's not my vibe i don't really do drugs in general i'll dabble in mushrooms if i'm like really in the right headspace but i try not to fuck with myself that much because i i literally like alter my brain chemistry every day with fucking 300 milligrams of wellbutrin and whatever else so why am i gonna put something in there that's gonna you

wonk it up. Putting the whole thing upside down. That's fair. You didn't take Molly this Coachella for that reason, huh? And I really wanted to be rolling at Lana's set. Like that was like my ideal situation. If you were rolling, we would have died. Paige, if you guys could have seen, I wish that we had a camera on Paige and Ty during Lana's set at Coachella. It was unsafe. They were literally a disservice to every single person within fucking...

A hundred yards. Their radius just kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger. It was like, I don't even know how to explain it. You guys were having sex. I swear to God, I think we were. You love Lana more than anything in the world. So it was all excusable behavior for me. Had it been like an artist you didn't really give a fuck about, I would have been like, shut up.

Absolutely. Like so with the wristband and then just your entire love. Like I don't know how either one of you will ever marry other people. I don't either. Like truly he is the love of my fucking life. And like he literally told me the next day we woke up after Lana. He was like, I fell so deeply in love with you after that. I was like, yes. And he is a little gay. I think you guys should just fuck. And he is a little gay. Why don't you guys just fuck? Yeah, he's a little gay.

I don't know. I feel like it's like a slow burn. That's how I feel about you were able to convert this gay man back straight. That is like the craziest shit. I think maybe Paige can go so gay herself that she's like practically his type.

You guys are really rewriting like history with your love. Two gays make a straight. It's so funny. I was just watching the guy that Ty's talking to stand there and like wait for his turn while y'all were making out like out of the notebook. And I was like, this is the weirdest shit. We just have like the weirdest dynamic. Like I can't even explain it. Like we are just so like deeply in love with each other, but it's like platonic, but it's like romantic, but it's like also like my best friend. We just have like... You've always said though that you really believe in like

platonic love over anything. Absolutely. Yeah. Would you ever like be in like a civil, um, what's it called? Like when you marry somebody, but it's like, you're just in a partnership. That is like our dream situation. We talk about that all the time. Oh, like you guys could co-parent. I know. And then what? You just go whack off in the other room and then like come back. It's gotta be better than what a man can do. It's true. Honestly.

That honestly is true. My dream scenario, or this is like, this is how I think you can bypass this whole situation. I always say this to her, having two boyfriends who are also boyfriends.

like for example if you added one more gay to the situation and you were the girlfriend of both of these guys but then they were also dating each other so he's still getting what he needs that's like my dream situation exactly and i will we talked about this this weekend i just i said that too i would love to have two boyfriends be my boyfriend like i would love to be in like a polyamorous relationship but with two gay guys i agree that is like actually ideal like that is my dream situation what did your mom text you on the way into coachella

She's like, how's Coachella? Send pictures. I send her ones of me and Ty. She goes, you're absolutely gorgeous. And I showed Ty and he got mad. So I go, what about Ty? She goes, he's cute, too. Very good looking. She goes, too bad you're a gay man stuck in a woman's body. Maybe he could just accept that. From your mother. Because I texted her and said, we are getting married. We have the biggest crush on each other. She goes, too bad you're a gay man stuck in a woman's body. Yeah.

My own mother. By a witch's curse. By a witch's curse, baby. It's so true. It really is. But I just...

I just I mean I feel like I understand a lot of the hype you know what I mean like gay man just get it gay man just get it I think like I always have like liked really feminine guys though but now like I want like a manly guy just because I'm like oh my god do this for me I want to feel like just a little girl who can't do anything like I just want to feel like a guy's like so mad because I feel like with like a Clinton I'm like oh my god he can't do anything and so I'm like god stupid idiot I'll kill the fucking bug you stupid fucking loser but like I want like a guy who I'm like can you get it

Yeah, that's fair. I agree with that. I love that when I really do love weaponized incompetence. Like I, when I like poor Makoa, I just, I, I fully, like I have this whole bit right now where I pretend to him that I am like a little tiny Polly pocket, like actually in real life, like, Oh, I can't close the curtain. Like that would be so heavy. Like, it's like, I'm this big and the curtains this tall, like, and I've just taken it. That's my just life bit. I just do that all day long, but it's so, or like, I'll pick up something like, and be like,

And it's like this vape. Like, you know what I mean? Like, and I can't. That's why guys don't like me because I'm such like, oh, like, I'll do it. I'll do it myself. So that's like they're like, babe, like, I'll grab the door for you. I'm like, no, it's OK. Yeah, you need to be like, that's why. That's got to be it.

But anyway, yeah, no Molly at Lana Chella because I am on Lexapro. Lexapro made me throw up everywhere. I can't believe you've just been raw dog in life. I was just going to say, I kind of want to just fuck around and try an antidepressant because a lot of my negatives of ADHD go hand in hand with, but I'm not depressed.

yeah but I'm just lazy I'm like that's so lucky I can't even imagine just being not depressed I know but it's like but I'm so depressive like do you get what I'm saying like I can't like a lot of that's the thing your ADHD is causing that it's not like actual depression it's like like feeling like you can't do something and having no like self-efficacy yeah like lazy and just tired and lazy and fucking exhausted and like mentally fucking exhausted but it's from ADHD and that's

That's just what sucks that the only thing that fixes ADHD is meth. Mm-hmm. Like, so then I just, like, I want to fuck around and try a fucking... You got to watch Madeline RG's podcast. She talks about this so, like, eloquently, like, makes you understand because, like, I just, in my head, I'm like... Imagine talking about anything eloquently. Yeah, no. I could literally fucking never. I'm like, yee-haw, that'll work like fucking hell, dude.

She was just so eloquent. I know. It's never going to be me. It's never. Dana and I were downstairs in her bathroom and I said something to her like so deadpan. We're talking about like flight times. I was like, yeah, slay diva. This one's like boots mama. Like so serious brain rot. Like I'm taking that so far lately. Like hit the mother bong and queened out like that. Like I've been saying that. When did you learn purr? Purr is, she purred me twice in a day. Yeah.

She said, like she's texting in like the canceled group chat. Like what's your ETA? I said three Oh four. And she goes per.

I think it must be so funny because it's like, I'm like that. And then I'll be like, hold on, allow me to connect you with my executive assistant. And then you're like, Hey diva, it would be gag city. If she could come at 9 PM, like, you know, whoever's on the other end of all of our business shit is like, like, how did she find another? I know. I feel like in the beginning too, like I would take it so seriously. I'm like, yes, tenant will be reporting to the stage at five Oh nine. Like,

so yeah I love the way that you guys like match up though because that was fun on tour when I had like Allison who matches me perfectly we are we're two halves of a whole idiot

And it worked so well for us. It was so funny on tour because Brooke has found someone who's just like her. So like they're showing up like 20 minutes early. And we come downstairs in the exact same outfit. Like braids, clean skin, bows, like cute earrings. And then me and Paige are showing up like potato sacks on. Like yeehaw motherfuckers, what's up? Bucky's merch. Yeah.

fucking bucky's nuggets in hand the grip i love it a grip it's always the dogs out it's oh my fucking it but it just it works so well for us it really does i know but like i understand why like us showing up to work is a lot of people's nightmare but like we i for me i think that's what's made us work together so well for like three years is we're just like literally two halves of a whole idea i always tell tana like you're perfect for her because you just don't give up like

the pat like what would normally be such a tedious task for me it's like so easy for me because she's like whatever just shove it in there like yeah i don't mean because it's very just like whatever like in the beginning i was so type a and i would like freak out over shit and now like i've just obviously adjusted over time like i became type b to like mesh with her because it's like there's no sense in stressing myself out i'm learning also but like there's no sense in like

panicking about shit that doesn't matter like I've just adjusted myself I think I'm not to a fault like I wish I could be type A you know what I mean and it's just I'm so type B like everything will pan out like who gives a fuck even just I was thinking about this the other day that like

In the beginning, the way we would like meticulously pack for shit. And now it's like, yeah, I'm throwing one shoe in a suitcase and just hope like rolling the dice, you know, and now you're like that. And it's like, you know, I am not type a though, like at all. And you always describe like me as type a and I,

Like I'm the most unorganized person. I'm messy. I'm like, I'd never have it together. I'm never like, I'd never do anything right. Well, then she's like type C. But something about the contrast, like from like has made me look appear that way. Yeah. If Allison were to look at me, she's like, how the fuck can you not do this? Like, yeah, I guess I'm just too far off the rails in that, in that like regard. You know what I mean? Yeah. There's like levels to it. Cause I'm bad.

Like if any of my other friends were to look at me, they're like, God, get it together. I'm like calling BB every day. Like, can you please come unpack my suitcase? I'll give you a hundred dollars. That's I've been loving seeing the transformation of her though. Like, like she used to get so mad when I would offer people money to do shit. And now it's like, I love seeing that Celsius check of yours go straight to like, who gonna get it? I'm paying for quality of life. And there's, that's priceless. That's I've always said that. I've always fucking said that. Even I have not said that ever. Not once.

Well, this is the thing, Paige, is the day that you told me your Paw Patrol story, I had an entire shift where I want to make you an influencer so bad. I think you're the funniest person I've ever met. What was the Paw Patrol story? Paw Patrol. Okay, so I used to work at Texas Roadhouse back in the day. And once a month, we would have kids night, right? So,

So kids night was always like a theme. Kids would come in. They would do like arts and crafts and shit like whatever. A dream. A dream. Actually, it was a nightmare working there. But one of the nights we had Paw Patrol night. So we called in to get a mascot. Like Paw Patrol be there on the double. No job too big. No pup too small. Yeah. Like the dogs, like the sheriff dog and whatnot. So we called in to get a Paw Patrol mascot. So I'm sitting at the host stand. I'm like, whatever, whatever.

There's like 20 kids lined up ready to meet like Papa Troll. Papa Troll from the movie Trolls walks in. Like Papa Troll. Papa Troll. And all the kids have like dog hats on and kids are decked out in Papa Troll merch. One of them damn near had a seizure. They were crying and

Like all hell broke loose in the Texas Roadhouse. That's fucking funny. What does Paw Patrol look like? Paw Patrol? Me. And I don't know why. I just feel like I give Paw Patrol. I am so Lady Glitter Sparkles. Look her up for real. Who the fuck is Lady Glitter Sparkles? So this is what was supposed to show up. And this is what showed up. This is what was supposed to be there. That's me.

Like Paw Patrol and Paw Patrol. That does strangely look like you. It looks like, I'm like, did Miss Kim do that? Paige just said, I am so lady glitter sparkles.

Wait, are there characters? Let me go look them up. You guys aren't real troll fans, huh? I think that before we end this episode, we have to end by reviewing some other people's Coachella outfits because it is a tradition of ours. I just want to talk about it. The fashion this year was so interesting to me over any other year. Everyone just kind of did their own thing and I haven't seen that in years. So I liked the like flip of that. But still, there were some some questionable things.

For sure. Starting with Tara Yummy. I think I loved this one. I love a denim denim on denim. She's

also adorable so I just feel like she looks cute. Body. Body on 10. I know. You know how hard it is to still like look cute like that when you're 4 foot fucking 10. I really like when people stay to their own style but just elevate it. I almost feel like she's less dressed up at Coachella than she dresses up in daily life. Right. Yeah. But even that within itself. This isn't like emo. She usually is like very emo girl and this is cute. It's like cowgirl yummy. I love people who can make a messy ponytail look so cool.

If I had that messy ponytail on in any way, I would look like I just threw up. Like, you know what I mean? I'm going to give this like a nine out of 10. Oh, see, that's see, that's Tariya. Yeah, that's Tariya. That's Tariya on her podcast. That's Tariya at Walmart. But I love that about her and she looks cute. And therefore, it's one of those things where I love it because it's her. Like, I love it because it's her. It's so her. If I saw anyone else in it, I think that I would like think it's the doll's killification of it all.

You know what I mean? What if I wore that? Oh yeah. No. What would you do? That's like, well, you would just be having a mental break if you wore that. Like that is so against everything. But I like her. It's so crazy though. Cause I like look at her. I'm like, she's the cutest and she couldn't be further from my vibe. I know she is so sweet. She's so cute. God, she's perfect. I was looking for her everywhere just because she slayed Coachella so hard last year. She is perfect. I really want to say this and I've, I was saying it all weekend and I really mean this from everything in me. I,

zoe fish is my coachella i'm like i feel like the way people care about like what kendall jenner or hayley bieber or whatever where i only care what zoe fish wears to coachella she is coachella like she she's just like she's it she is the it girl her fashion is fucking impeccable every outfit of hers is a 10 out of 10 i aspire to be her so bad she is there anyone we don't like in this though because i want to say something mean about someone oh yeah definitely

Zoe Fish is my Coachella though, for real. Like I love this. I give this an 11 out of 10. It's so funny because I tried on something just like the skirt that she's wearing. It's like, I think it's Acne Studios. I don't know if hers is, but Acne Studios did that like denim on mesh. And I put it on and I looked like somebody's meemaw.

Meemaw. She looks like Stevie Nicks. Like, I'm not even kidding. Me too. Yeah, but it's just like, imagine me in like some denim mesh, like to the floor shit. And I was like, someone's going to eat this up. But I had to like rip it off my body. I was like, absolutely not. She's fucking perfect. I want to talk about this look. I hate this. I loved it.

His other one. What was his other one? I only saw him one of the days. I thought he looked gorgeous, like very traditional James. But like he was still Coachella. This, like I can't get behind the fucking mullet wig. I am so ridiculously behind this. I think the mullet is so hot. No, because, okay, what we need to do is find a photo of him that he didn't post. Like what did he look like standing at the VIP bar? Could you tell he was wearing a mullet wig? I saw him in this look.

And no, like I thought it was... Really? I don't... I just... I like the like Conan Gray-ification. I loved the eye makeup. This was... The other looks of his to me felt like...

too him too styled too like I don't know the colors too though I think you're gonna look back on that and be like why did I do that I like I love the fit I love the mullet something about a mullet just gets me going the eye makeup I just wish he went like natural nothing but it felt natural to me for him this was the look that I like the other ones to me felt one trip and fall away from an assless chap okay like this one to me felt like so different and like I don't fucking know I loved it

- Ugh, I'm obsessed with this Mimeo cowboy hat. - I want it so bad. - I know, I was, I almost, I thought about buying it for you because you said you liked it, but then I was like, I think I'm gonna have to buy it for me. - I think so. - And I would just borrow it, honestly. - The wet t-shirts, like the wet tank top look is so sickening. - The only thing I didn't like about a wet shirt is that Lele Pons and Hannah Stocking did it. - I loved it on them too. - For some reason it really upset me. - Oh, I didn't see that. - I think they,

Did their biggest with that. Like I liked seeing them in some more chill shit. Like I saw Lele in person and I was like, wow, I really like this. I love that. I would have worn the outfit that Alicia was just wearing. I love the lonification of Alicia Marie. Like you can see it.

in her glow like when i saw her in person i was like you've been lonified and like i love this cute i would wear like i just would wear that the jorts i would wear it too i would lose the belt but that's it i would lose the studded belt too i know i just saw her this to me is everything i love that see that to me is ashley schwan in japan oh it's cody colicino down the street i'm like suddenly i fucking hate it that is mario selman in japan

Can we throw Mario into this mix? I have shit to say. Absolutely. Yeah, this to me just feels like James Charles at Coachella and like, I liked them all at once. Well, that's what I want to see. I want to feel like, oh, it's Paige at Coachella, it's Tana at Coachella. Like this feels like James at Coachella. The other one felt like. But I think James needs to not give James at Coachella. His cream outfit was the best, I thought. This was my favorite look Alex had. I loved it.

This look is pretty good. I'll give her that. But I can't tell if I just like how she looks. Yeah. It's just a white t-shirt, but I love the little baby shorts. Baby shorts were like my thing this year. Like, or like what I thought was going to be big at Coachella. And then I barely even saw any of it. I saw so many baby shorts. That's all I saw.

That's all I saw. I feel like that was like the, you know what I mean? I saw a lot of baby shorts. I do love those shorts. I just think I love to see her be cat, like just like cool girl casual. But I don't remember what her other outfits were. I do like this one. Like her face just gives me so like Miami girl, obviously like Miami girl, like gorgeous, pretty that it's like the outfit, like,

Like if you put like Devin Lee Carlson in that fit, I'd be like, damn, that eats. But because it's Alex, I'm like, oh yeah, she looks cute. Like it's like she's just so pretty that it like. Yeah. Like I get what you're saying. Like like president of the Miami girls, like pretty, like so pretty that it like. Yeah, that it doesn't make the outfit as cool. Like it's less edgy and more pretty and put together. Correct. I get what you're saying. I do really like this, honestly. Like I think she looks sweet and. She is gorge. Yeah, it's just it's sweet. Oh my God.

this made me want to go home I saw this in person and it made me want to go home that's all I know to say it made me want to go the fuck home like I last minute I had like a cooler edgy outfit and I didn't want to wear it like my turtleneck lore yeah because I was just like this is like I'm doing too much and then I wore like just a more basic top and baby shorts and I got there and I saw her and I was like I'm a failure and I love it we all blew it she is everything I want to be and more

God, I'm obsessed with her. What's next? And if I took a picture like that, someone would be her other fucking fit. Yeah. Okay. I can't even keep talking about Zoe because she's perfect. Everything is perfect. Everything. To the detail. But she puts in the effort and she just has the eye that no one else has. My brain would never do such a thing. Like layering those two tops to me feels like E equals MC squared. Yes. You know, literally it would not compute. That would never happen in my brain. Like it just wouldn't. Hate. Awful. Awful. Awful. I love her. I hate that.

So much. But only I feel like imagine getting caught on a doorknob in that shit. Oh, my nipple ring would be topsy turvy twisted around in that. Sherry Hill prom dress. Oh, shit. It's Roberto Cavalli.

It's ugly. No, I like her. I just loved the other one. I just want like this just feels so like Windsor store. Justine would bring me that outfit and tell me it's Cavalli and then I would get roped into wearing it. You know what I mean? I do. I guess it does. Weirdly, it did help me for you to tell me that. Like I've had a lot of things like that happen where like

some archive designer has brought to me and just because it's archive designer. Yeah. Like I get roped into it and I don't realize what it looks like to the average eye. If anyone can do this, it's her. Like just how beautiful she is. I would look so fucking. Oh my God. I'm sitting here judging like.

I can't like, I know I want a fucking tank top. Yeah, literally. Yeah. Please don't write fucking gorgeous. She's literally gorge. I know. I just don't like the outfit. This. Yeah, you're right. This really sucks. I would love to see Michael Trawertha in that. Like Michael Trawertha would wear that. It's on theme. That's what I'm saying. Literally. It's on theme. Like the dune realness, but it looks like he's going to easy service Sunday service. Rick Owens to me has to match.

personality to an extent to me. Like I, like I knowing James Charles and you know what I mean? Like seeing him in like a, like a hard ass Rick Owens boot. Like I know so many people that I would see that in and love, but I think that that is his thing is playing so much into the theme that it strays like away from him. And like, he does like this outfit eats. No, but like, it's just like, it doesn't eat. I love that. He's like, like,

At the Microsoft desktop. I know. He's literally. That's not at Coachella. That's not at my Coachella. That's it. He's at Sunday service. That's where they had your Sunday service. Yeah. Like I did. That's I've never once. And those boots are criminal. I don't care who the fuck made them. I love the boots. I really do. And I love Rick Owens. I want that. That's the problem. But like, I think I give that. The beauty influencers do something that no one else can. Okay.

Okay. I think the word is should. No one else should. Yes. Like they've got to carry a percentile of Coachella that no one else can. It's giving like Dorothy, no? Yeah. It's giving Pippi Long. Yeah. Pippi Long. My makeup looks like that today for the canceled podcast. Yeah.

My makeup looks just like that. Like, actually look at me. I don't even think the makeup, the outfit to me is the problem. I think she looks great. I see no difference. But no, I'm not fucking with, I'm not fucking with the picnic table ex Coachella Belle. Yeah.

Guys, this pains me because I love Antonio so much. I love Antonio so much. Listen, we have to be honest. I know. I love Antonio so much. Also, I can never see that belt again on anyone. I can never see that belt again. I have a problem where it's like if I love someone, I want to say I like their look, but that's just not always true. Yeah. I would be a bad friend if I said. I think I saw. Might as well get Mario up here. I saw everyone in the beauty community and it was this in a different way, though. And I think that that's the lore. Yeah.

That is the beauty community lore. Yeah. Okay. They're like, it's giving stage coach. Literally. It's so funny. Cause I was just going to say, like, I saw douse. He is the most beautiful fucking person I've ever seen. He really is. I'm laughing because I saw him at the Coachella VIP bar. And we have this whole conversation at the end of the conversation. He looks at me and he goes, now wash your makeup off tonight, Pookie. And just walks away. And I was like, that is so real.

Like I messaged him at 3 a.m. I was like, I did it. It was my first time doing it. That's why I have a sty. But see, here's the thing. Like if I saw an I.G. model in this, I would be like, get your ass home. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like it's I'm not into the toilet paper trend, but it's Dune.

No. It's the dune trend. No, it's not because it was long before that. It's like all those little flowers with all the toilet papers on them. Everyone was wearing that. Oh, I guess that's fair. My birthday last year. Yeah, me at the canceled podcast live dinner or lunch dinner. Live dinner? Live dinner. We're just live fucking all these men? Like,

I love it because it's douse. Like, you know what I mean? Like it's, it's the bits fitting that I want his body. I was just going to say the body doesn't come with the fit, but Oh my God. I complimented a beauty guru this weekend on their BBL. And I didn't, it was just one of those where I was bored. I was just bored. And I was like, I love your BBL. And then they were like, yeah, like you need one. Like, when are you going to get one? Like hit me up like some shit. And I was like,

I didn't actually want the smack back. I want to be so clear. Nobody in history besides Kylie Jenner has ever looked good with a BBL. It's so funny because when you compliment the beauty gurus on their surgeries, they'll talk to you like, yeah, you need this. I can't believe you don't have this. And it's like in your head, you're just like, whatever. Yes. Sweet.

Love it. Well, their outfits are stupid, but I love them so much. No, but I even love the outfit. Someone said she's giving Adam Sandler. I even love the outfits because they're so shitty that it's good. No, I love them too. I felt the same way about Hailey Bieber's look where it's like I love when you put so many stupid things together that it's just fun. I agree. I love going to Coachella looking like trash garbage. And I love that Taylor has her red lip no matter what. I love that she's in her era where you know he looked at her in that outfit and was like, is this good? And she was like, yes, babe. Yes.

Yes, I'm so excited. For what? Taylor's new album. Oh, shit. I love it.

I love them. So funny because if it was anyone else, you would absolutely like crucify. Yeah. And I'm like, what's another like just random couple we can think of? Oh, is that Rocky and Rihanna on here? Well, yeah, but like that's not a random couple, I would say. Oh, who's next? I mean, you just know Oscar and Shay. That's the worst thing I've ever seen. Oh, my God. Pitiful. That's I picture him posing out in front of a car and like in front of a car with the doors open. It's pitiful. It's so him.

You don't know him. I just know he likes that outfit. You know what? I don't like when the low socks is what's sending me to the moon. It's like, why are your ankles showing? Air Force Ones with the Burberry smack back. That Burberry pattern has to die. In general. I'm like, you retire it. I love that Sabrina and Taylor's men did this, though. There's something about being with a man and you're so in love with him and fashion's not his forte. And then you're just like, yes, babe, I love your Coachella fit. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but I feel like Sabrina's so...

I feel like she would be like, take that the fuck off. You know his fucking fees. Well, like Tostito chips. Next. But why do I want to? Oh, I love this one. I think she's so cute. Is that a peplum top? No, it's not a peplum top. She's just it's a jersey. It's a jersey. She gets smoked for this. Yeah. Why? I love it.

I like it too, but it's not. I mean, it's Haley, so I think she could do better. I loved her other one. I like this one. I like that her Coachella style has always just been her style elevated. I don't mean to be positive Polly Pocket over here. God damn it. Yeah, well, I mean, I think I love her other outfit with like the head scarf and like all of that. This is not like my favorite. But I also love that she can just do whatever she wants and get away with it. That's the thing. The little Mary Janes with the socks.

This was my favorite Coachella outfit. So cute. This was my favorite Coachella outfit. Charli D'Amelio. Oh, my God. It feels like almost just like Britney Spears or something like her, like getting older and being like able to like really like slutify some shit like in her hot girl era. This is so hot. It's insane. I love her. She looks perfect. Dude, I TikTok dance.

I literally went up to her and I go, keep dancing, Charlie. I heard. It's funny. Ty was talking about that and didn't know that that's like a thing. Like thought you were just so on drugs that you were like, keep dancing, Charlie. Like, and I had to explain to him. No, Charlie's dancing again. It's a cool thing. Yeah. But like, imagine not knowing that and just overhearing you say that and being like, like thinking you're so on drugs that you're just like, keep dancing, Charlie. I thought you were so drunk. You're like, keep going, girl. No, I just, God, I like, I was so happy that she started dancing again. I saw men dancing.

Like, unlike, like, you could, that's...

it's attesting to the fact that she's finally in her like old enough, hot enough era to the point that it's like scary. Like, I hope that I just don't want to see her. Don't get too hot on us, Charlie. I just saw her with a lot of men that I was also like 18 and fucking and look back now and was like, you know what I mean? Like, I just, I, I. It is such a canon event and you can't change it. Like you really can't. I just hope she's, I don't want to see her get got by the creepers. Yeah. I love Charlie's look so fucking much. She looked beautiful. Yeah. She's beautiful.

Paris Hilton's Paris Hilton. It's ass. Like, it's ass. But she is perfect. She is just Miss Coachella and it's so cute. I just think this, again, gives Windsor's store. But it's Paris Hilton, so it's okay. Anyone else, I'm handcuffing them and I'm taking them to federal prison, but it's Paris Hilton. If I try to wear that, you should hit me. Yeah, she can do actually whatever the fuck she wants. Like, and I love her little flower crown. I actually really do love it. It is.

cute because i feel like throughout the years she is misconsistent like if anything happens like she is going to look like that every year and it's ethereal when it's her like you see her walk by with her nine bodyguards and it's like oh my god oh yeah you know she'll sprint by and her poor bodyguards are like having to keep up it's hilarious so iconic what's next she's like a little princess love love love love love love i don't know about this one you guys

- He's dressed like Chris Miles. - That's why I love it. I love like a Mr. Put that shit on. Like just like 80 different layered, like things like this. I fucking love it. - He's wearing like five different pairs of boxers and I love it. - I love that fur. Like I had a little moment with that fur this weekend and I love it. So I love like, and it's just like, imagine them walking by you. Like I would be so gagged if they walked by me in this. - No, they're sweaty. I can tell they're sweaty.

I love Rihanna so much. She can do anything. She can do anything and I will never, ever, ever criticize her, but I will criticize him. I want to be this for Halloween. Like that's how much I love it. I love it so much. I love his boots. Yeah. All of it. I think he got cold. I don't think that was his look. I think he got cold. He is my favorite.

This is just a Jake Shane review. He is my favorite person in the entire world. I can't express it enough. I told him this weekend, I was like, your use of your social media is like, it's perfect. Like you're moving mountains for the next generation. I love you so much. I love everything he posts, everything he does. I love that he hard posted this, not in a swipe set, like just one photo in his crew neck and bandana. Like he's so authentic. So funny. He is just like a little ball of sunshine. I like when he posts about his breasts. Yeah.

It wasn't the caption of this like had to cover up my titties or something. He is like a little ray of sunshine. So fucking cute. I've never had someone make me happier. 20 out of 10? Yeah. Yeah. In fact, he's perfect. This was his Coachella. I'm sick. I'm not even... I can't explain the visceral reaction that I had when I saw this woman pull up on her fucking motorcycle. I am sick to my stomach. She is so fucking beautiful. And whoever got her, her was so perfect. I...

I've never felt the way I felt seeing her in her first. I loved this outfit, but the blue, the other one on stage, I've never felt like it was like God. Like it genuinely, it felt like she wasn't a person. It was so ethereal. Literally. She's.

it's her features like i've never seen anybody with her like oh god she looks like a fucking princess she is she has kiss three just i know in life three right she is actually perfect she's the most stunning woman on the fucking planet timeless beauty like oh my god i'm i'm in love this wasn't even like a rate of her outfit i'm like she's gorgeous yeah outfits great no notes zero

Love. I loved Olivia Rodrigo's look here so much. Like it's so simple, but it's saying so much. I feel like that's just another day for Gwen. I loved that they brought out Olivia. So like, I just thought that was so like, I missed it though. I watched the whole no doubt set. I just don't remember seeing Olivia. I don't know where I was during that set. That's how I feel about when I went to see Billie. I just don't even remember seeing her. I love this outfit. I like it.

That's some shit I would have wanted to wear to Coachella a few years ago and it's just so Gwen, only she can do it. Yeah, truly. And I'm so happy for that. Perfect, perfect, perfect little princess. Oh, this stage set also had me gagged like the red bed in the daytime. It's so...

It's so cute. She is actually like... And she had the best set time. That's my favorite set time when they're blowing in the wind and it's like sun's about to set. I miss them every year. Oh my God, it was so good. Barry's outfit was tragic. Like the little videos of him recording her. Yeah, and she waves to him. Yeah. She's the cutest. I think I love her. It's so funny though because like when I look at her, she's so innocent and like...

and then she just came in me three times yeah i know and i feel like i used to hate those little like jingles that she would do at the end but now i'm kind of with it she is the people's princess i'm just not with it when we're at the eras where i'm like someone's seven in the audience oh yeah well did you see her doing the jojo dance in this like she she was on stage hitting like the no yeah i'm as a bitch yeah fully and jojo like duet it was just funny like all the comments are like

She's not. She's not team. She's not with you, Jojo. We are. Well, I feel like she was hammered during doing this, which also made it like so iconic to me. Maybe she wasn't. She was just maybe she was just lit. But like, I loved it. Like, I felt like she was just like on her shit. That's how I got my phone stolen. Is she eating Odessa? It's up in the air. I don't know.

Did you hear her sample of her new song? Yeah. Some people think it's Claro. Both great choices. Ooh. Both great choices. Yeah, she didn't slay here necessarily, but I love her regardless, and that's that. But, I mean, it's Billie again.

She can do anything like she'd wear that. Yeah. Like if I saw her wear this on the Grammys carpet, I would still be like, it's Billy and she's slang. She just like no rules apply to her to me. Yeah. You know, we should have known she was going gay when she took them nails off. This is my favorite outfit in the absolute entire world. When she came out on stage, I came. Wait, do you know that Tyler Lambert did her fur look? Yes. Really?

he's king of the fur i'll tell you that much is i want him to make me some fur chonies i'm bushed up this set gave me full body chills like actual full body chills she did demons and me and ari were walking up to the stage and i was like actually being possessed it was so fucking good it was one of those things where i was like this is a satanic ritual but i want to be a part of it oh yeah what's wrong with satanic i don't think i know enough about him

I don't know. I feel like this is how I look after eight hours with Miss Kim Beauty. And like, I'm so into it. I'm so into it. I really want to do an outfit like this. What's next? I love I spice because she is just always in a Gia set like like shaking ass. Yeah, I think that's what bothers me about it. I think it's just knowing that it's IMG. I'm like I spice you have millions and millions of dollars. Shaking ass in the deli.

It's just but she can do no wrong to me because I think she's the cutest fucking little angel. But like something about her almost makes me feel like she's like the face of a Gia baddie. Yes. Like she's getting paid. Definitely. Probably. Yeah. I'm Gia posts everything she does. Yeah. I would too if she was wearing I am Gia. Also, you could just see her liking I am Gia. Hello. Like she's just so authentic to herself. And like, I look good in this. Like I look like a baddie. Her body's made for it.

I know. Like that's why I think I'm into it because she is like the face of it. Like the poster girl of a Gia set. And it's like iconic. Does she have like the Jersey Shore nails going on? Like how they like duck nails? Yeah, the duck nails. She does. Oh my God, I want duck nails. Oh my God. But if I had duck nails, like I would end you. Like cheese under them. You can just see it now. We can't. I thought I was going to be cooking people because usually I am. But like.

I was just, I was feeling positive today. Honestly, half those outfits fucking sucked. I just didn't have it in me to like, like I just, I can't separate the person from the outfit at this point. Like I feel like I'm coming for the person, whatever. But I think the reason why I have,

transcended into this era where I'm being like nicer about people's outfits is because I think that I had an ego death about the things that I have worn to pass Coachella's. And I just, I want to talk about a couple of Coachella outfits of my own today, if that's okay, you guys. And issue a formal apology, maybe for a few. This was not that long ago. This was last time I went with you. And I actually don't think this is bad. Yeah. I think if you like, to be honest with you, I think it's just my pose.

Why am I doing that? Did you post that? Like, yes, I posted that on my grid. Why do I have my, why did I always have to have a hand up like that? Like on the head? Like it was just so unnecessary. Is your signature move. It also like the glasses and my hair matched. Like my hair had blue and yellow, like blue.

rubber bands all in it like I would do blue and yellow but I do like I love that corset of course that's great well wasn't it like vintage Dior yeah but that again just one of those things where I think I got roped in because of the I don't know this one isn't this was just like to get us in the water okay can we keep going shoes wait

Go back. Those shoes you beat to smithereens. They've seen it all. The soles were falling off. They've seen it absolutely all and I'd still wear them to this day. I can't even believe but now I'm three sizes bigger. So interesting. Yeah, this is like not even okay in any any capacity at all whatsoever. I love like the fishnet.

The fishnet underwear underneath. I know you had the craziest yeast infection after this situation. I'm not even kidding, Brooke. I like, you're right. Like what this outfit did to my puss. Like I think I just now recovered. The fanny pack is so crazy. Where was I in the chains? Like I just imagine the chain like all cold on your leg. Dude, this Kylie wore this a set like this to Coachella, but it was like she was so rich that it was like at her house, like at the pregame by the pool. Oh, I remember the photo. I know what you're talking about. I'm pretty sure hers was.

And I thought...

that I was giving literal exactly just like Kylie. Exactly just like Kylie. Like I thought I was Kylie fucking Jenner. I need to show you some candids too. Like this is, think about that. This was like as good as it got. Ooh yeah. Like I'm posing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely awful. Another interesting pose choice, but that's none of my business. It was the vibe at the time. What's Kendall Jenner saying? I'm so happy. I'm happy you put the tongue back in your mouth. Me too. So happy I put my tongue. It was, I don't even know. What's next?

Guys, can I show you before? The earrings. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Speaking of my earrings. I've never seen this. You still have those fucking earrings. And she will not throw them away. Like, I think she's going to use those again. The eye makeup, the scrunchies did that. I think the pasties did that. And I had to change. Look at my laces on my shoes.

No. Listen, what I will give you is your attention to detail on this one. This is a one. That you missed not one single thing. This is a product of being on so many drugs. Like so many drugs. The clear bra, you can't even like see the chains, like the pink leopard. Where were your friends? Dude, you know what's funny is they all looked like that. I think that's the problem as well. Let me show you a photo of me, Ashley and Isabella this year. I think they're both

it this is also a product of um edc being from las vegas and going to edc and thinking that all festivals were made equally yes i need to find hold on it was like the blind leading the blind 100 this is the outfit that made me like looking back at this one that made me fucking realize like you have no room to say anything about anything anyone has ever wanted to tell ever the shit to talk and i like did not slay outfits like look at me ashton and isabella

Oh. Isabella's bandana. Oh, yeah. I'm assuming this is like pre-stylist. For sure. Yeah. For fucking sure. This one just makes me want to kill myself and start my own life over. I'm not even kidding. Next photo. Dude. The glasses. The rape glasses. You still have those. That's another. You still have those.

what the fact that this is a professional photo that someone had to take of me like and I was walking around this party and it was like Stassi baby and shit like no one had like the fact that these people were like talking to me and shit like Tana you are so embarrassing the face tune on all of these two like who the fuck is that but I didn't think it was crazy when you did it like I remember seeing these at that time and not thinking it was like so out there thanks Brooke next

It's not horrible. Why is he posing like that? He looks like a doll. Why is he so girly, girly coated? That is girly. This is the only time I've actually ever done anything assless that I can like stand behind. Like I'm not like, I don't think that's bad at all. I think it's looked amazing.

I actually like this outfit and like it was the time. It was the doll skill. I like seeing whatever your profile picture was at that time. Like I remember that. I'm going to let this outfit live, but I think it's the only time I ever should have done assless. And unfortunately, it was one of my like 50 assless journeys. You know what I mean? I just go over his little pose. Yeah, I can't even actually believe. Oh my God.

- This is a case of the swing set. - Yep, Facetune. - I almost wish we were taking like anatomy at that time because sometimes you would do things that weren't even like anatomically possible. - Like Alexis Ren didn't even have that going on. - What swing set? - Facetune. - Oh, there's this like photo of her on a swing set that she Facetuned so crazy that it like literally went down in history.

As the swing set photo. It was the time. I'm not even like, I'm more mad at the face. You're so young at that time. That's what all of us were wearing at that time. I would just do anything to redo the mugshot and not have glitter tears and Vegas Nate blue pack on. You know what I mean? Whatever. Next. Can I talk to you guys about the one where you were the yellow bikini? Wait, wait, wait. Paige, I wore.

just a yellow bikini like this, like no pants to Coachella, like just cheeked out. And like, keep in mind, like this is me like arching and doing the most. Like I'm literally bent over. Imagine me just flat Stanley standing there like at all times with no pants on. And I remember, I remember I showed up to Bella's house

and I was like ashamed of her. I was like, I can't believe she has on this much clothing. Like I can't believe. And like she's wearing like a Coachella ass outfit. Like it's still, yeah. Like she's wearing pants and like a waist chain, like as she should. Was that her sister? Yeah. Oh, okay. I thought it was like Photoshop or something. Like I was judging all of them. And it's like, Tana, you're giving race car pool party. The literal checkered socks are sending. There was a checkered fanny pack. And the high tops.

I can't even. Next. This is, I know who you were influenced at this time and it should have stopped. Who did I think I was? You literally look like, I'm a goofy goober.

With the shades on. Like Tomb Raider. I just can't even, I really can't even believe it. I thought I ate so hard. Like you couldn't talk to me at this Coachella. I would have been getting caught on everything. Oh, I was. I was getting caught on absolutely everything. I know you put tones like on your titty right there. Yeah. Whose boobs? I just, I can't even actually. And like the hair too, like trying to give it like summer reify. Like, you know, eight tracks were out. Like it's just.

And you couldn't talk to me. I thought everyone else was worse dressed than me. Who was the style inspo here? Paige. Tomb Raider? Like, I don't know. I really don't know. This was one of the most Googled outfits of that year. And I remember thinking, like, I was so cool for that. And it's like, no. They weren't Googling it on your side, sweetie. Yeah, they were like, what the fuck? I love, like, the pink and green nails. Like, you stayed consistent with the pink and green. This was for that pink and green look. Like, I had to...

The fact that that was the same year is super scary too. That was like Saturday I was this and Sunday I was that. You know what though? I feel like bitches were eating this up in like what was this? That's the thing. I think it really was the vibe at the time. It was.

there's no Coachella where the pink and green would have made sense in my opinion that's it for that segment there are more there's so many more but I think that it's so fun fuck I wish I could find you this denim moment that I wore one year so bad Paige like in my assless era I need to see that's crazy like you're kidding like you're actually kidding

You're actually fucking kidding. And just again, like look at what I'm having to do to even try to get an ass. Like imagine just standing there, like, like standing up straight. That's the front of them. Oh my God.

I remember that I had a line of my spray tan from the porta potty. But you could see where I sat. The fact that the Balenciaga bottom and then with the sock Balenciagas is so absolute federal, federal, federal. And I thought I was, again, just the coolest person at Coachella. Wait, Oscar, go back to see one more time. Imagine me just standing up straight. Oh, yeah, you're doomed. It wasn't a good time, I don't think.

Dude. And it's just like the want and need and desire to be that naked in public. Like at that point, just go naked. Just literally titty out. Like I just, I can't even believe that was the one that really got me going this year. Wow. You had a vision.

I don't know what it was. I just don't know what it was. That's all. We can be done with the outfit segment. I just think that I had to really like give myself a hard time. Well, Paige, thank you for joining us on this episode of Canceled. I'm so. I think you should come back all the time. You're so funny. I'm not kidding. I would. I love you guys. I would love nothing more than for you to be here a lot, Brookie. I love you so much. By the time this comes out, we will be back.

on tour and chaos will be ensuing. I am so excited and nervous for this run and we got a show to come up with and let us know what you want to see. But yeah, we love you guys so much and we will talk to you in the next episode of the canceled podcast. Thank you for having me.