cover of episode Why Kids Choose Consequences Over Simply Doing What You Ask

Why Kids Choose Consequences Over Simply Doing What You Ask

2024/3/3
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Calm Parenting Podcast
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Kirk Martin
专注于家庭教育和儿童行为管理的专家，提供实用的策略和脚本来改变家庭和学校中的行为。
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强意志的孩子宁愿长时间争论，也不愿简单地按照要求去做事，这背后的原因是他们大脑的活动不足，需要通过制造冲突来获得刺激和满足感。他们寻求控制，是因为他们感觉自己无法控制自己，所以试图控制他人和环境。他们通过争论和挑衅来获得父母的关注和重视，即使这种关注是负面的。父母的强烈反应，无论是愤怒还是失望，都满足了孩子对刺激和关注的需求，强化了这种行为模式。因此，父母需要改变自己的反应方式，控制自己的情绪，而不是试图控制孩子。父母应该向孩子道歉，承认自己过去的行为方式导致了问题，并承诺改变。父母应该积极地给予孩子正面的关注和鼓励，并了解孩子的真正动机。 父母需要理解强意志的孩子与顺从的孩子价值观不同，他们更看重独立和自由。如果继续用同样的方式教育强意志的孩子，结果可能会很糟糕，甚至会影响到婚姻。父母应该控制自己的情绪和反应，而不是试图控制孩子。将精力放在改变自身的情绪和行为上，而不是试图改变孩子。

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Why Kids Choose Consequences Over Simply Doing What You Ask

You give a strong-willed child a simple instruction. If they would simply do what you asked, they’d be done in 7 minutes. But they would rather argue for 7 hours, days or weeks and lose everything they own. It’s infuriating and frustrating! Kirk shows you WHY your kids do this and HOW you can change this. Learn more at CelebrateCalm.com. 

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