Nelly Furtado: Embracing the Single Life
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What is your daddy game? IT is your founding father, alex Cooper, with call her. Nel fer todo, welcome to color daddy.

hi. I am so happy we are finally doing this. I'm the biggest fan.

Thank you for coming today. Oh my god, this is so fun of. I've only been in a few minutes.

I'm having so much fun. I am having so much fun. We have to tell the for my audience, first of all, dad gang ney's daughter is daddy gang. Can you tell me what did he say when he found out you were coming and color that? Well.

she's wanting me to come on the show forever. She's been talking about IT since like we started music for this album some of IT together and and I was like, yeah I mean, I love that would be great like you shows amazing you're amazing. Love your energy so they're excited you had almost stayed in the room, but I was like, i'm just going to be like looking at her to the whole time so she's in the other room.

It's so fun to have you here and it's so cool to like, know that your daughter is dad ganging meanwhile, i'm the biggest fan of you, so it's all coming full circle. You've had such an incredible career. Obviously you've been in the spotlight. You've also made decisions to step out of IT at times like when are you at your .

happiest oh wow, in general in life? Oh my god, probably when i'm like at the park with my children, just kind of like pushing them on a swing or something or but then i'm also quite happy when I am kind of waving my free flag at a concert and singing on my concert on stage because it's also my other chance to really be myself like I do feel very myself when i'm on stage like I like this is my friends to just be as weird as I want to be. I fit in when I onstage, right? I think .

though that's like a able, somewhat reliable idea like we have these two sides to ourselves like no one is just one dimension, right?

Not that that is like key.

That is like, yes, would you say you're able to have someone of a Normal life? Like if you're at the park, are you at the park as like mom, lily, or like, do people like come up to you and are you no.

I am very good. I'm very comely onic. Like, not only in my music, but like in the way I look so I can be I like, wouldn't you wouldn't recognize me? I mean, sometimes I don't care like sometimes .

a little IT depends what mood you're in, right? So sure like sometimes you're like.

let's be social and other times like, yeah pretty I don't really want age in that way OK half.

you know, because this is .

color daddy, what is the difference .

in your opinion dating canadian man, america? Can man.

this is such a good question. And I were going in the juicy beds. Just show you all my friends this about me.

I love. Love is my favorite topic. I tried to set people up all the time poorly.

I don't have a very good success rate, so they kind of a roll that I was at me. Well, stupid. But I do love american and I do. But I ve found some interesting canadians along the way.

You have. I was to say, like if you had to say some high quality yeah what is your type?

My type h it's changing, okay, and my type .

is changing.

Yeah talk to me about IT well life and um it's like a new beginning for me. It's like A A very fun time in my life because I didn't really get to be single in my twice right. I I was pretty like locked down in relationships like from the time I not locked down in a negative way, but just like I was in relate long term relationships for much of my twenties and thirties. So only recently, if they in the last few years become single it's so funny I love IT you do love IT because it's .

I watch I feel like and it's like when you come .

correct you know I mean, yeah so now my type is like come correct you know they asked me I would on a date or for dinner or just like it's all, it's all in the way the words you know use the the sort of, yeah I like confidence I addin .

confidence not using come correct boys. Come correct man I that's a great attitude to have because I know I have a lot of single girls listening and it's like, I think a lot of people want to have that like excitement towards dating, yes.

but you have to enjoy being single authentically. You can just say, oh, i'm out here. I'm having found IT. No, if you if you're looking for a relationship for real, then be authentic about that. Yeah but if that's not what you're looking for, ask yourself, what do you want, you know and if you want to just stop fun and see what's out there and that's fine too.

You do have to know real with IT, we're going to talk so much more dating first, I have to acknowledge there is a another very famous musician that obviously is from canada who you actually perform them. Can you please explain how you ended up singing? Yeah, i'm like a bird with drake.

Oh my god. Drake, yes, we go way back. Actually, he just asked me to come sing again a couple nights ago on saturday night. He's like, he asked me eleven pm to show up at one A. I love him to death, but I was like, I am not showing up without glam.

I got you really say, like, i'm a .

sleep like bitch.

Get me glad that maybe .

overall I was up. Okay, I was up. But I was like, I was an event. I was like, this really fun event in toronto and I was like, no, I can show up without glam because, of course, you know.

he's so famous, it'll be everywhere really. Like, I want to have my beat on OK I fit outfit.

Like.

you got ta come stanched to the gods with the lashes and the beat you like, baby, give me five hours. Oh my god. So you didn't go. No, I I .

couldn't make IT that time, but I know but anyways, yeah, I do. I do love him a lot. He's a great guy and I think that um I mean, he's done a lot for the music industry you know toronto was a secret for a long time, a secret that I loved as well growing up there and make a music there in my teens one earth but now it's just so nice he kind of really put toronto on a map in a different kind of way and yeah ended up in general but anyways so .

that how that went out the fact drag like I don't have my makeup tonight like i'll pass on this but like, oh my god, so bother no so I kind of I wish .

I did looks I saw video and he looked pretty cute, had a yellow track suit something and he looked good. Yeah, out out. But then i'm like, what would I have worn? Because I would have been all videos of yellow. And then I love .

that you think about this stuff.

that's that's what performers do. You always think about what things like p especially pop music. You think about what things look like to.

I want to talk before you were because like, IT is such a glamorous life. And we get to talk about like the outfits and the fashion and all of IT. But before you were famous, you worked as a house in a motel.

Yeah, the chAmber may. Was that your first job? Well, that's a good question. My very first job was actually IT was the same year I did like I would jump over the fence on at my childhood home and I would do filing oh for like a home inspections company.

So I would but I would IT was long hours, but um IT was helpful, I think, to just sit in an organized and then I got a job at the motel. IT was called the Robin motel. Yes, and my mom worked there, my sister, my and and my cousin, my mom around the housekeeping department.

SHE was like the head hong there. And so he hired me. And I would every morning just show what I mean harder. In the ten years when you're out the night before and then you get there six and i'm like.

where is the coffee right? really?

yeah. And my brother was gardening there at the time too. So we would be like saturday morning. 嗯， but IT was such a good experience because I worked there for five, ten summer straight. wow.

I even worked there one summer when I thought, like, after I graduated high school and I went to toronto and thought I was gone to be famous in two months. But reality, you know like that on how IT works. Your goals take a while to achieve.

Move back home. Worked there again that year when I was going to college in my hometown, ana Victoria, oh, my. And that was the year I was like, go.

I wonder if my dreams will come true, you know. But growing up doing that was good because the work ethic, because when you get into this industry, woo, the hours can be long. When you're starting out, it's a lot of hosting.

I wanted to talk about that, bill, because the jokes, opposition of like being someone that is hard working, working with your family and then you get famous.

And I think everyone now kind of hasn't understanding, at least like when you get famous, people start treating the famous person differently, right? Is there a moment that comes to mind when you really started to notice? Like, wow, people are just treating me nice because I have all these things that I am famous.

Now that's an interesting question. I think for me in particular, my parents come from these are really, really like working class routes.

Like my parents are from the assar islands and a time from a tiny islands called amigo, like from a tiny village, you know farmers, you know like just they were already like picking beans and like Carrying their water from you know the main water front toll, like when they were like ten or eleven you know to me and they're ready working at the farm by the time they're twelve. And so that's much that's where I come from. So you you really can't get bucy on people when you come from those things. Did you get cancelled LED in your family kids? So you can you can even go there like I have no business black acting like Better than I because I know i'm not you know because I go and i'm humbled.

I think that's so fun to hear though because obviously like I didn't know that but hearing that immediately IT does paint a Better picture of like how you are so Normal and like even talking to your daughter like before you came in here. No, like I need to start being being air.

But it's been even talking to your daughter how SHE was like I grew up with like a very Normal life because he stepped kind of out of the spotlight yeah and now all the resurgence of everything and you coming out with this album, man, you know, tiktok in everything she's now i'm seeing my mom out. They're being like, oh, like, oh my god that's nelly for todo. But it's cool to see that like you've been able to live a pretty Normal life while also having the super system on the other side of your life.

That was really funny. I have a story in my mind because he said, I remember, you know, be careful what you wish for, right? Because she's like, go, mom, yeah, you should start working again and then a year later, she's like, why are your hair appointments five hours long and your nail appointments or three hours like, like, you've kinder become the deva me like, you know, this is my job sweet, you know.

mom Kelly, now you're about to meet nelly furtado, the super shar SHE said, what you mean you can pick .

me up at the airports when I started my hair appointment when over SHE was sorry .

but he was livid I ve says, oh my god it's like.

well, you want a mom to be back to .

work here this .

mum to do in my that .

may think she's like, kind on IT.

I read that magazines used to edit your photos by lightning, your skin and changing your body. How did that affect you back?

It's so funny because I, I always find IT interesting what people cling to in story. So I do not really like a general interview about with a lot of for people, but then that became a thing like all this is the story. But then I realized all I get IT.

It's like I wrote a song about IT in two thousand and three. I think that was my second album. And yeah, it's kind. It's called power lesson. It's like paint my face in your magazines, make IT look later than a teams paid me over with your dreams like show away my ethnicity.

So at the time, IT is more about the idea of, okay, wait, like i'm in this bit like when you're Young and you're twenty two, twenty three, it's like it's a world in right like all of us that in becoming successful at the career is dreamed up and you know if you're in IT for the music, like I always was, um I think that all that other stuff with the visuals and the atheistic, oh well well they they like you when you look great on the right carpet and but then the opposite is true as well. Just kind of questioning at all but um IT is true. Yes, I bring my own close to photo shoots because I was like a girl, like I was twenty one, twenty two Young girl. But yeah, you'd see at the time I think yeah at the beauty gender was a bit different. So I think that they would photoshop a lot and just kind of like, oh, I thought i've had hips or my little, but it's it's hard anyways because when you see yourself on T, V for the first time, you know you always look different on the camera and IT can be a little daring look to be on TV and in at the spot like that might have a Young, a Young age.

I guess. So when you look back like because obviously, like, I think it's helpful. Like I get with your single like what I did such a long interview and that's the one thing people picked up on. I think, no, I know. No, I think I get what you're saying.

It's like that I think for a lot of people now pick up on things because people finally do feel more comfortable to talk about things that we're kind like, hey, that was kind of a weird decision. Like, am I not good enough as me like you? My god, you look back. Like, when did you feel your most confident when you were Younger?

So funny, I feel the most confident. Now what do you? That is hundred percent.

wow. It's now I don't know something happened. I don't know.

I just had like, I had the forties close up. I was just like, wow, I just feel like me. You know, I feel like I know what happened.

I had time to work on my inner life, you know, I had time to work on the things you don't have time to do when you're busy, right? And then you you know when you're burned out and you don't get to journal, you don't get to you know go to therapy, don't get to go do those things. But I had I had a good time of three or four years of doing that.

I think by the time I got to this stage of my life, um yeah I just film um super happy with myself um even when I get criticized you know I mean like I like if I mean who doesn't read the comment sometimes, right? It's hard not to you. I think it's human nature to go oh, what are people say? Of course I didn't like, wow, certain things, right?

Like I feel like me person of experience, like my body's polarizing, you know I mean, which is so it's crazy to say that but IT is because I see like, oh wow, why did it's? It's just like what there's a lot of like comments and people arguing about like what I look like or like you know what I mean it's so interesting what a feels and and triggers people. But I think at the end today, IT can be really positive because you're starting conversations and that comes from confidence.

And I think that's what IT is. It's like when you when you are confident, I don't know what that is, but I guess sometimes you can be threatened or very empowers. I think .

sometimes just like people online or like so triggered by certain things, which is interesting because you never know what's gna trip people up. And the fact that you're saying, like my body is so polarizing, like why do you think that's bad?

Well, first of my body has changed a lot. I've had three kids. I'm curvy, you know, and I have a curve body. And like my if you go to like where where my parents from from sama, my body is not a big deal.

Like everybody, every girl on the beach as the same bump that I have, it's like I love it's true though so it's all context and just maybe there comparing you to another era when maybe you looked to different or anything like that. Um but i've had fun with that because i've been wearing very body conclusion and it's very empowering and I just kind of I love I love feeling this confident. I literally didn't even wear underwear .

on stage .

till like a year ago. I it's only six months. I only the six month ago.

I appreciate talking in my career. I love you. I love that talking about that though, because I do feel like people tell you like, oh my god, you're twenty, are going to be the best years of your life.

And as much as those are really fun years, I do think out of women that I get to speak to, IT is very inspiring to hear. Like no IT actually only gets Better because you do get to note when you're Young and you're twenty, as fun as you can have. You don't fully know yourself yet.

You haven't fully lived to really like know what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what makes you like uncomfortable. And IT feels like i've now had an enough conversations with these, like, really inspiring women to be like, habit IT only gets Better, like get ready. Like get ready for your stories.

Get ready for forties. Get ready for your fifties. Like that's really exciting yeah .

because you learn you know yourself and then you can kind of look back and not laugh at yourself, find things charming like a given in my thirty seems like a lifetime ago, right? You know?

I mean, but each decade is so beautiful, but I kind of feel like as women like we just get more confident. And when you can block out the noise of all the comments that are negative, it's like, oh yeah, bitch. My beauty looks amazing. Bed like I get out of here when I was .

thirty seven and I had like a flying game ship, I just coin this term we sorry the nationality is like a flying relationships of flinging ship with um at someone who was twenty three and at the time I was just like IT wasn't that big debt but like I had was contextualized IT in my mind like oh, that's so interesting because you're perspective used to change ah as you get older on and you reflect on different things in your life differently like my new album just came out but I was looking to the one before IT, not this one.

So it's like a diary. You can go back and go. And so for me, music is a diary. So it's kind of fun and makes you fun live s talk .

about some of your iconic songs yes. okay. First I just want to discuss, i'm like a bird is such a classic what inspired that on?

I'm like a bird was um inspired by I was in a relationship in my very early twenties, right kind like a first relationship, kind of first kind of more like very serious relationship after my sort of long term high schoolboy friend and was the next relationship after that um and yeah was in a relationship and I was out in los Angeles finishing my album kind of on my own I was very isolated. I was probably twenty.

I was twenty or twenty one or something out there kinds in this little apartment um just working on music and the mi collaborators were kind of older than me and they had their girlfriends and their wives out there but not me so I was a bit lonely and um they're like, okay, write some new songs you know and bring a man to the studio. I think that was our first day working in L A. Trying to finish my album after having made the rest of IT in canada.

And I was sitting on the sofa at time. This place was called the old good weeds here in la. And um you go to the german you'd see like I don't know like kids, I guess who are I don't know if they're working with disney or what they're but you know was the place that people went to make their dreams come true, where they would stay when they weren't yet live in in L.

A. So I SAT on the sofa and I picked up my guitar and I wrote three songs that day and, uh and the third one I wrote was, i'm like a bird and i'm telling you the one I wrote before was trash. IT was a really bad song, really corny, not good? You, yeah yeah. You you never know. You might just behind the edge is something good, you know.

do you remember like that when you played IT for everyone like on your team? Like, was everyone like.

yeah, manager was at the studio. Yeah, manager Chris was at the studio and and he's like, all okay. I want to hear what you wrote today.

So I played him the three songs, and I was convinced the corny one was good. Oh, IT was really bad. I I can think you .

we please think IT .

for me like it's really, really no. But anyways.

so how corny are we talking?

right? So this is the one that I thought was Better. But then i'm like a bird. IT goes, can wait.

It's like he was cot shore and I was a pussy having in the corner and I couldn't come out. He was not sure, and I was having in the corner, couldn't come out. And I think the end was like here, kid Kitty. Like, I swear i'm native than Kitty. I thought that was Better than i'm like a bird, which I then was the third on on the the demo that i'd made that morning.

you know but .

I don't know yeah okay. I think I think the bird ones really good. They both had bird themes. One was concious like a rooster.

So I am literally like.

deny.

I know this is like the best thing I hurt all day to know that I was between, like, a cock in a posy vers a bird. Yes, oh my god. Washed out. Literally trend tek k up. That isn't IT funny though.

because I actually forgot about that till, like, couple of months ago. I wow, that's crazy that I write a very horrible song and a song that might be quite good right after.

I mean, yes, I like a bird. I feel forever going to be iconic. I'm curious because that song is so inspiring, right? Have you ever walked away from someone that you felt like was holding you back, like in romantic relationship?

Well, that song was about that. You, so that song, I I did, I did want to break up, you know, with that guy so I kind of like the .

song I did write on and .

then back up what I sent to and he and he and he said, hey, I feel like I heard the song like what's really yeah did yeah so .

you know, context you just so well I go this .

my latest thing yeah no but no I think I ended up that I ended that relationship on tour but I was literally IT wasn't very IT wasn't like from a payphone you know, on tour like I was with my band you know like IT was one of those moments but it's very norm. It's kind of like, you know, your college boyfriend, right? You know and then you move on so that was my college, just like making music and touring. So and they did one year college, so then I met him around that time. So yeah, I had to make my dreams come true.

And you had, I had things to do and places to be so but like, not like a but as sad as IT is to be broken up with for him, IT is kind of iconic that there is a man out there that can be like, that song is about me. Like, that is pretty fucking cool. I'm sorry, like I would take that song being written about me. Icon, icon, are you usually the one ending relationships are you?

Oh, I like this question. I've been dumped before ah yeah only once oh yeah, that is a flex. No, that's not true two or three times, but more like when I was Younger.

But but yeah, like I having your heart actually broken by someone that doesn't want to be with you anymore really hurts really badly. So yes, really, really upsetting. And I had an experience that till, like much later in life, till quite recently in the last five years.

And that was really hard for me because I wanted to hang on. I wanted to hang on and I didn't get IT, and i'd built up a lot of expectations and things based on things that maybe were more about me and selfishness spread and then I was like, okay, like window come to grips with reality. But I ve also left yes, I I ve been the and broker upper yeah.

Do you think it's easier to be the person breaking up or getting broken up with.

oh my god, and easier to break up with someone, then to have somebody dump you, you dumped is the worst .

IT is pretty hard.

I no, no, it's the best though, because then you go, it's that whole thing like you got a hit dirt man got a hit rock bottom. I had hit rock bottom before and it's it's beautiful because then I just come out so strong and it's good and i'm not saying it's like perfect and i'm like, oh, if you know we wear our wounds, don't we yeah like our wounds never really go away.

I don't think we can work on, you know, I mean, we can be gone, but like, okay, you know, if you have stuff to deal with, have to work through. But but yeah, I think I think IT could be a good place. Love bottom of like, oh, you know when I go back to a lot, oh, he's just not that into you.

Just look up if you're ever struggling with somebody who's broken up with you or somebody even anybody a flying game ship, something like that and you feel they're not giving you the attention you want and and something off just like go look up quotes from he's just not that into you IT is so healing because I have done IT before I think twice in my life where i'm like, oh, humbling. It's good. It's good to meet you.

With you, you that it's great stuff IT really just knocked you back to reality.

Yeah, because it's that whole. If you wanted to eat with absolutely what girls if we want to do, we would .

right done. Okay, one of my personal favorite songs of yours is manager. How would you describe the woman you're singing about?

Essentially, this is so interesting. So I really did kind of bed that off of a woman that was for another time, that was a colleague was like engaged to her and he was a knock out and just really was did personify that man their energy and um what at the time what I really, really felt at the time when I was making that whole album with timlin and when we're making manager, as I did feel very I was actually only about twenty six or something when I wrote that song but I felt like there's something really empire about um masculine and feminine energy together you know I mean when somebody and bodies both and I was trying to capture that in a song and I really feel that when I play IT live IT feels primal IT feels like it's for everyone. It's like it's like almost like a verb like you're monitoring, like managing right now. Monitor yeah I think it's an energy .

is such a confident song. I actually play a part of IT in my tour because i'm like you do oh, I can't wait for you to see IT now it's like all of these men come up and they are like magic, my dangers around me and i'm just in my element on the only woman on stage. And it's like, IT is IT like this empowers feeling when you hear that song.

I love that. Did anyone that for people.

it's so good. Did anyone in your team ever, when you have like the song, you like the pussy cock, the burn, the man, ea, promiscuous girl. Did anyone ever think that IT was like to edge? Or was everyone around you like we love?

No, not really. I think I was like just making that record in miami. I was feeling the vibes. I was feeling myself.

I spent all day in a bathing suit, like playing with my kid on the beat, you know, like I was feeling myself in the sun, to be totally honest. And I was newly single. See you every time. Newly .

single brought mania. Oh my god. Yeah, that's amazon.

Fresh energy that kind of seeing the world through new. Like, I guess, red color glasses. love.

Yeah, that energy is very like red and like passionate um but also with premiers I actually didn't write that chorus IT was timberland's idea. Yeah I was. And then I SAT down and finish the lyrics with attitude.

This amazing rapper that he was working with at the time and I was, has attempt, but my good friend jim beans at me down like, I think this is authentic, and i've really like this energy. And you sound great on IT. And I didn't know, I didn't know that I like, I was up the verses and I sound now when I sing IT, I love IT. It's like cariole time.

It's promiscuous. Another one of my favorites, I made a really bad music video to, and I was a Young ger, which you'll never see. Can you tell me though, like from that song, how has york? Because that is a very involving, empowering song. How has your relationship to your sexuality evolved over the years?

How has your relationship to your sexuality evolved over the years?

That's a good question. And I will also get a quick shout out to the music guy grew up on so something pepper, T, L, C, little blazers, those grow groups in the late nineties, when I was a teenager, I was coming of age fourteen, fifteen. I was blessed to have that music to listen to.

IT was like marriage bridge, tlc, sutton pepper. And they were giving this empowered sexuality and choice. IT was about choice.

IT was about, I am in control of my choices and that was the energy we wanted to capture with the song. Like premise is is a choice. It's a even playing field, I think to feel sexy, to feel special, you have to spend time on yourself. You have to spend time alone.

You have to spend time um just you have to um tap into pleasure, which is joy right? Joyce's pleasure right? So if you really feel and and embodied like in your body, like i'm not gonna lie, like I feel I feel pretty sexy when I like dancing, you know like I mean the dances studio because it's such an active self love to apply your mind and body to something like choose phy and to just be to feel that, uh, I would say it's like almost like an equal liberum ah and I think from there you can feel very confident, you know and I think it's something you develop. I think you're sexuality, something you develop you know when you start, you know whenever and you're early teens and then you do you just developed for of the self, you know think that's a healthy place to start.

You know, I think that's such a good like piece of advice, because I think sometimes women can really feel like, oh my gosh, like whether they were repressed when they were Younger or religion, I would ever fold into IT or shame. Like sometimes we can feel like maybe I just have not as sexual of a person as I wanted to be or may be I don't feel as empowered to like own IT. And it's really like if you the more you know yourself, the more you'll know what you enjoy in, the more that you'll feel confident to be able to explore.

But something like it's a quiet game. I mean.

yes, you're just on the search for whatever like makes you feel your best and no one can tell you and you shouldn't ever search for IT through someone else. No.

I mean, I think people can teach you, you know, like, I think you can grow in relationships, but I think you can grow when you can kind of like pick up things as you go and like that eban flow again. But at the end of the day, yeah, you gotto feel, you gotta feel good.

You gotta feel good, right? Do you found love easily?

I'm changing. I used to. That was a year. Yes, alex.

and i'm a lover. I love, love. I need muses.

I'm a muses girl like, I need. I think it's because i'm an arrest, right? I create and it's like I grew up thinking and feeling like I I love like lovers like I love to that I love the idea of um being just really inspired and the joy in dating and like that.

It's like there's nothing like that. But I also enjoy my solitude so much that I have had. People asked me, like friends, like colleagues, like, why are you even in a relationship you have so much going on in your mind? You should just date yourself. How are you even able to be with? And IT is true. I like my solitude so much that sometimes IT is hard for me to be relationship yeah because i'm just like get away for me it's too hard yeah it's like a always felt like more comfortable to be like more like like a like a an .

enjoyable kind like and I want to say part time I don't know what to say no what was the thing you said earlier after .

a flip ation .

you you in your relation you're always wanting to be in your .

flying a ship. Is that who you say? Nationality yeah passion and my um my interest too. I do have A D H D and I think it's affected me uh, women experienced differently than men.

I was only recently diagnosed but I read a great book and I talked about how even as woman with A D H A we can pick partners that kind of make us flip in the passengers seat because we want somebody else to make all the decisions for us, and we just want to cost right first. And I found that really interesting when I read that because I was like, oh yeah. And I think when i'm on my own, i'm more able to kind of navigate to my whole life in a way that works for my brain and for my comfort levels.

But I do love love, and I do love falling in love. And I find that fund still. But I think my priorities have changed.

I mean, I think that's amazing to even just acknowledge your priorities have changed and you even talking about like recognizing something that can affect your relationships. You being like I don't want to just cause like I do want to have more control over my relationships, even you just recognizing that we'll probably affect the next relationship you get into and how you approach IT.

right? yes. And you want to stay yourself. I think that's the most important thing you i'd have had a tendency to lose myself in. So yeah.

a part of why you return to music was because you were going through a difficult break up. You talk about in these songs. That experience can you share? Like, what made this break up so painful for you?

Oh my god.

Need a sip of water. Yeah, let's give up the water. I saw your .

body just go two .

of an hour sweet again yeah you know.

I don't know isn't IT sort of like life, you know and and then again, go again. We talk about this experience evening when you're you're twenty years and everybody mean, I always wanted to have a family, you know, I mean, and have children and this we all have that dream, you know, just kind of settling down and like, oh, now I met the yellow brink road. This is so great, I wait.

And now I met the yellow brink road, right? And IT comes in all these variations but um I think I just had that feeling like i'd finally kind of arrived at that you know yellow break road and I was like gonna a be that for me and then I turned out that IT wasn't and that's why IT hit so hard you know I mean, because he was the first time I had felt, you know like that right know where I was like, oh, you know what you felt like? You know you have that profound sense of A A certain kind of peace you know what I mean in a certain kind of certainty? E, right? And I said, idea, when the certain teachers kind of gets pulled out from under you, or the rug gets pulled out and you go, oh, oh my god, I have a lot to learn. So I have a lot to learn about me and you might have had a horrible experience you know and I know for sure like I went through a very difficult time, right I think I accepted some things that uh that I would never accept now you know in terms of um the way you're treated yeah and could you share just a little .

bit like not yes, I see women listening like course no, you can see IT when you're in IT .

sometimes not at all. You not see IT at all when you're in IT. Sometimes we just love so hard and we love and i'm sure there's woman out there too. You know, when we we become mothers, we're quite vulnerable when we become mothers because we just want what's best for kids and we want to protect them. And I think that in general, i'll say that I could really happen at anybody feeling powerless. You know what I mean you could have all the money in the world and all the resources, but in the mind really that is your only wealth is in your mind.

And so um if you can feel strong enough and clear enough to move out of a situation that might be toxic for you and not the best for you and also abusive in any way, you know um I think that yeah I am definitely like not here to like here you know of course anyone down anything but I think that it's honest to say that IT is hard when you're in a relationship that has that imbaLance, I would say and I abusive qualities IT is hard to IT is hard to see outside of IT because you isolate yourself, you stop talking your friends. You don't tell you know your friends the truth about what's going on in your life. You live in a bubble and it's hard to admit you know that you've chosen um to not anything right.

It's hard to admit yourself IT IT right. And then on top of that, the love right love you know keeps you there because, oh, you wanna you know? And I and I would say that too, like, I think as women, we think we tend to sacrifice our happiness sometimes. You know, once were, once were in IT, of course, once were once where we're fall in in love, right? We tend to we sacrifice ourselves sometime yeah and we think we're doing the .

right thing yeah so often. And I I appreciate you sharing that too because I think when you are in those situations and you get so isolated a lot of times, you're like, how would I even begin to unravel this, right? Like, how do I even begin to get away and like .

to restart fear? Fear huge too. Because when you, when you fear, you know, when you have fear, that can be a powerful emotion. You can be afraid, but you can.

You kind of like be created in your mind, you know you can be afraid like what what's a person going to do to me or say about me or like you know X, C, I don't know. You just you fear, you fear that. And again, it's tightened when you have you know like you kids and like there's whole other things to think about outer.

I and I I also agree with you. I have talked about this on the show before. Two of like the thought sometimes of leaving and all the things that you think I would take to leave IT just feels more daunting almost than just staying yeah can you share like how do you know I .

have a song about IT on my album?

I appreciate you writing about IT because it's like it's so real and so many women listening to this are going to be like, nelly.

thank you water. Thank you for sharing .

them because it's like, I do think and it's not like on you to help all these women. But IT is like the more we talk about IT. More people I know someone's going to be watching at home right now being like, oh my god, if nelly was going through this and he says that he got out of IT like I can to like, can you share how you knew I was time and like how you actually took the steps to get away essentially .

um I think there are moments where I almost had the strength but again, like something would keep me there you know where was like, oh, this is you know this is the moment um so I think that in, I will say, having remarkable friends, I am very lucky.

I have some really, really, really amazing friends, really core like childhood friends have been there for me my whole entire life and they just they just kind of knew what is said to me and knew what was too much or too little, and even the hard stuff, you know, I have some friends that I will say, two ladies out there unit, those people that are telling you what you don't want to hear. Those are the ones you need to keep close. Hopefully they know you well enough to not repel you with judgment or anything like that is not judgment if you you can sense when it's love. And I think everyone has someone you know maybe one person or one voice in their life that is maybe like reminding you when stuff is not OK and like what your worth is and what behavior is unacceptable if you cannot see IT for yourself.

So true, it's like you just see one person yeah you'd .

one person yeah to just be like, no, actually I not gna talk to you .

anymore if right.

right or what not but like but tough love doesn't work all the time but look it's indoors, right? Um and I think i'm try to think of another thing that helped me. I think jez, that's A A good question. I think you have a hard moments, you know a man they just have sometimes like a moment where you're like, okay you know um and then sometimes I guess I was lucky in a way because maybe like on top that I wasn't really the one who chose at the end of the day, let you I mean, I went through a rough time, but then at the end the day, IT wasn't really my decision. But then I quickly learned that then, okay, now i'm doing me now, you know, i'm doing me now it's such .

a vicious cycle that you can get so wrapped up into, and then when you get released from something like that, you can almost feel like withdraw symptoms because you're like, so used to the up in the and the toxic like you do.

And then for some reason, your brain only feeds s you happy memories. It's really .

weird that I IT is a sofa fuck tob. You're like maybe was actually .

the the cop shop you like the movie we went to and it's like, very weird. It's so such a tough to your brain for all happy memories. You will happy because they're all happy members, right?

That's why, that's why you say, because there are some great things, right? So it's it's tricking and navigate. Track is a big mind. F, U, C, K. But I really appreciate .

you like IT talking about IT that way too, because I know so many women, right? And feeling like I feel so much shame that i'm even thinking about this person that hurt me.

And I feel like it's like don't feel shame, right? No, don't feel shame about IT. It's not natural, you know. I mean like it's it's natural to want to you know to still feel a multitude feelings and IT, yet it's just totally Normal.

It's a process, you know I mean because the truth is it's like anything right? Like many bandara do you have, right? And how long do those take to heal IT takes time.

What is a difficult lesson that you've learned about love that you would tell .

your kids one day? Oh my god, love funny. I almost call my album. Let's be honest.

You know nothing about what? Oh my god.

I'm serious, although with my IT was either called seven or let's be honest, you know nothing about love maybe i'll call the deluge .

that I am going to say that what you call IT in your added to the world at seven you are like what I really is lets be honest, you do nothing .

about that oh my god, what the story of everyone's life, right? It's like we know love, of course. Like I know great love you. I blessed to be a mother and have wonderful family and friends and things like that.

So why I know what love is, but if I was to give advice on romantic love to my children, i'm, i'm going to go for the golden retriever. You got to be best friends. I think you have to have a authentic, true friendship. If it's about partnership, you know forget all the other stuff, it's about partnership. But also stay you man, stay you yeah and listen .

to your friends when you have a good feeling. Your friends are usually always.

oh, that's the other thing. Your god is always right the little voice in your head that tells you and this is not even this like this is past reaction about IT .

is is always right and it's so hard because I I know it's so easy to say, but it's like then why we always ignore guy, why we always like .

but that's like we get late ourselves. I have a song actually I think i'm going to put on my legs called gas light. yeah. Another album title was red flags.

Oh my god.

too related. Take these. Um so anyways yeah so get that light. We gas light ourselves in a way you know that mean because it's like boom, bang, boom 哦 yeah it's like an echo chAmber。

Can you share like how do you get your confidence back after a break up?

Oh me um kind of like exercise and going out, I started to go out a lot to my big bob was ready. I was like I because I was such a long windbreak up. But by the end I was like, okay, i'm dating now this is awesome. Like I may day after we did, you know all the ending stuff and then I and I yeah just went out and had fun and just I think I would like really found um a lot of joy and like dressing up again and like clothing and fashion and because I think I was like really kind of working like a mommy uniform for like three years. What was your mom?

My place was .

a block away from the target. Oh.

what were we buying a target?

Okay, I will. I do remember taking my, my teenager on a tour of tar of a university because he was stopped in the universities of CF nia. I thought my shirt was nice, but IT IT was look like a table cloth because I was blue and White checkers.

But I wasn't even a flattering T. O and I didn't have time to shop, so I would just be like, I R, I saw nothing against target. Like, I love yeah yeah targets fun.

You can find great stuff. But I think that I didn't diversify, got IT. I wasn't really like, I didn't have time. I have time and or just more stuff was that is totally Normal my kids, yeah, course you need easy access. See you just for the boobs you do so you just weren't .

feeling yourself as much. And then once you got through the break up, you like, you know what I mean to, like, start putting my cute outfit on. I glam. I'm gonna out there.

I'm going to go. Well, studio helps me too. So started going to the studio and start recording music again.

And I got so many emotions out. Oh my god, I got so many emotions out of the studio. I would cry there. I would get angry there. IT was so good from.

is such a good therapy. We is true that you actually wrote like four hundred songs. I do no. Can you just like rewind and tell me like how, like if this house was my studio.

what I would do is I would have just like we're in L. A today. So I be like who's in lay today, which are my friends are in L. A, which producers, which writers, which friends? And that's what informed this album. This album is really just like a lets party type album because I was getting over a break up and I was like, at my social life became the studio so like, you know, like I I don't I wasn't in the mood to like, go away songs by myself fun a guitar IT was like, no, we're bringing everybody and I would would invite like people after their concerts to come hang out and make music with me yeah and then my daughter was really coaching me on too, because he was having fun in there too. So IT was like, we're making music now, where we're doing this, like really cooking now and like really having fun.

How do you pick between four hundred songs of what to put on an album?

I like to stay up late making music till really late. I like the sun comes up and I get really inspired, and I get my bango George king.

Picturing you and there is a bongo dam like, let's go, let's go my .

gene and I just go till seven nobody is pretty much yeah we just like a bunch of music. We just have fun. And the way I picked the songs, oh my god, it's almost like I always say, like you go on like you you put flowers together at the flowers.

I was like, what why do you like those flowers? Yeah and I think IT was like, whatever goes together and like a bit like a fashion and collection just kind of put IT together. You love IT one session I had had like, 啊， 不 different people who like didn't even necessarily make music。

Like, I think of one time like, like a, like a comedian ended up in there and I was like, oh, what you god, i'm very like i'm a happy that way. Like, if you were, I would make you sing. No, yes, I believe anybody can write this one. I've done that before. I've done.

like, how do you start? Okay, how do you start writing a ong? Like.

where does you even start? I'd be like, what's your favorite childhood vacation? You win on shit.

Would like, did me lend got in your field? yes. Like.

oh, my god. So we start there. So like me. Like, so what did you like about IT?

H, just like the euphoric feeling of seeing these things come to life that I always on on.

T, V, yes, yes. Just like to be like, oh, like, you oria everything telling me a story. 嗯， 三年 before， yeah, yeah. You know, I mean, are you already .

started a song and in two second and then we'd go somewhere .

with IT like going, yes.

I am fucking of, yeah, I am not okay that you deserve thank you.

Bio works above the castle, blowing my mind.

You're say .

you ever like whatever me .

just been like OK for the rest interview.

just think no.

What is your stance on break up sex?

Oh, that's a good question. I know that it's necessary at a certain stage. IT is just be honest aren't be honest on the show.

we're being very honest now. I love I mean, it's always like energy.

You have to like you know squeeze the lemon, right? It's like squeeze lemon until the juice is got so that's what it's like so then i'm one day like, well, the slemon has no more choice so no more break up sex yeah I think it's natural that and I want to hear from other people too yeah.

I think that's a great take.

I love guys when they break up.

Yeah yes well.

yes, each other last week later.

literally. Okay, so are you single right now? Okay, you're single one dating .

that like i'm but doing different people. Oh yeah just like yeah you're got like .

a little roster .

going on ruster, but it's like I feel like it's derivative. Yes yeah like i've got I like the roster of no.

I mean, I call IT the flying game ships.

flying ships.

So it's like.

wow like it's like a potential I would say that I have like there's different potentialities and there's different like um levels of like interest and just kind of and romance in different areas. I say i'll describe IT that way. And so i've been saying of a couple years, what is your ideal day when I really nice state recently, oh, where IT was daytime okay.

Yeah.

we've love that. Yeah I kind of like, I think I recommend the daytime date for the first date because it's bright daylight. So the regular date was very hot. I was like, very sweet, but that was unfortunate. Actually had boobs.

went a clastic, I know.

Or just like dinner, like that type of thing. I love me like, yeah just kind of like, yeah, just going out for dinner. But I like the idea of dressing up for date, sometimes if it's appropriate.

But ironically, I like, never have time. So like, get ready so fast. But but I do like that idea. Yeah.

would you ever bring a guy to one of your shows?

I brought guys to my shows. Yeah, but it's like it's not really fair because they just go like .

they are going to like fall in love immediately like I love it's a show .

me so different but IT is cool because you get to show like what you do no, I mean but they're .

immediately in love.

I mean.

yes, yeah.

it's pretty awesome. The concert of some that was cool you you see me go up there and do my thing like yeah so i'm yeah i'm strategic about writing the wind though, right? It's not always like appropriate to the right setting, but for sure it's almost like what would be like the best weapon in the weapon.

Will we be called like like a micheli? The show is like a micheli. Yeah, you'd be like kind of my show. So like you can pull up the meshta right away. You're want to time IT out anyway.

Thanks to you, your next one. You like moving on. Oh my god, the Michelle is the show nearly the mishap count done. We're move done. What are some non negotiable that you are looking for in a partner like you're like if they don't have this, i'm out up .

the self work yeah for actual partnership blink long term partner. I would want somebody who's worked on their self in an authentic way, not unlike a surface way, but like more like this, the spiritual. I like a little bit exploration there, you know I mean but like authentically and also like some growth in that department. I would say maybe growth and like specifically like ego. I think that's just .

a third when the .

ego is out of control.

It's like IT can especially when you start dating a guy, you can first think it's confidence and like hot but then outside you're like, oh your dick but somebody confidence yeah .

but confidence comes from I think that january good heart you know me and I think I think for part you want somebody with a good heart. You want nice yeah like I don't know why, but like sometimes were attracted people who are aren't that nice. Just like to people watch how they talk to, like the people you encounter, like on your date or whatever when you're dating, like how they treat your friends, your family, if your friends like them, if your family like some are those big Green flags, you know.

sometimes we don't listen to our friends, and like our friends at some point don't really care like they have no agenda of them wanting you to be happy. yes. So when people, when you guys are trying to like math IT in your head, like, well, my friends just don't get IT, they don't see that good side of him.

It's like, you know, your friends just want you to be happy. They don't care. Listen to your friends feel like he's a dick.

There is a reason and only seeing a percent how crazy is that and they can even see he's not a good person. But we rationalize in our head and it's not a rationalization. Okay, back to your music. You ended up taking a break from music. Um were you nervous at all, like how people were gonna react with you coming back?

I am very lucky because I got a tip to like, very slowly into the waters, and then things kind of lined up in a really good way. So started with, I was already making music by the time I kind of showed up on stage after five years with drake at a vented to onto, and I saying, and I was like, all this is fun. I realized, oh, maybe I have something new to offer this.

I've worked on myself. I feel different. Maybe i'll be Better at my job now.

You know, i'm older, Better, wiser. That bib, then I started book more shows. I book to show in australia where I met dome dollar.

Then we make this track and then we're playing IT at low plus a and koala. And it's like crazy and his raves that he throws ws after his shows, like just the whole thing. So fun, so everything lined up, so niche, that I was making my album while I was getting out there again.

So that wasn't so scary, right? IT was baby steps. And that to me was a blessing.

What did you learn about yourself from writing the snow album?

Oh my god. wow. I learned that i've become an even Better like producer and person who brings people together.

Because I got to try new ideas, like, I got to try like, like, like I have like, like, like weird, just oppositions of people in sounds on on, on my album. I think that's just because, oh my god, I love people genuinely. I have such a curious mind.

Yeah like I told you. Like i'd love to have you in the studio and what you do. So I am more interested in like the craft of making IT almost than the outcome does.

That makes me yeah yeah, yeah interesting. yeah. Like, I more interest. Like, oh, is the mad scientist part, you know?

So like, and I found such confidence in there this time around, I ve always been confident, but this I was more open. Harding, like before I used, are not like writing songs in front of people. And now I don't care.

I would just turn the Michael like this, have everything back to the speakers that feels like you are a live show. And then we just like, hang out and have a good time. So I think I grew in vulnerability. That's amazing. My vulnerability.

yeah. It's really incredible to see how your life has evolved. And like, you're such an incredible, talented performer and producer and you built incredible family, you these gorgeous children. Last question, what are you the most proud of with this new album as a whole? Like why do you want people to go street?

Oh my god, I think that bum has a lot of emotion, I think really. Um and if you just want to escape, like if you just wanna feel like you music that makes you feel something for real, I will humbly say that I think a lot of the songs to make you really feel something and make you really escape. And I and I spent my time making IT and I I definitely think it's just really good quality music. Oh god, genuine.

Now the photo to but .

of course i'm just thinking about what do I make now? I'm just never satisfied. I mean, you four .

hundred in the .

day I like this. I would .

you ever pull the songs from the four hundred and make another?

I kind of my the lux right now.

who is your dream collab .

dream collab O I mean, I I still think could be called to have a song with drag. I think people would love that because we're both canadian the you know orono law.

Can you play? Yeah that's our last request is yes, an ella photo to drake song putting in the cross now done.

Yeah, I think I think would be really good.

Thank you so much for taking the time and coming on today. IT was truly a pleasure. You are even Better hanging out with in person.

Thank you so much. Oh, thank you. Having this was really fun. I had a good time. Yeah, I even cried.