Hannah Berner: Al Dente Dicks & Faking Dirty Talk
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What is your daddy game? IT is your founding father, alex Cooper, with call her. Hana burner, welcome back to call her daddy.

This is incredible because you did not have to have me back, but you did not have to.

I was just thinking about this. I think you learn. And Harry are like the most reoccurred gas i've ever had on that. I .

never hear that and I was like, but I have to say IT feels like a family renew .

when I very on. I know everybody is not watching. So hanna texted me and SHE told me that he wanted to give me a heads up that he would be wearing George, out of respect, out of respect to which I said, thank you. Because that does shift the energy completely. I'm going to be honest, when I think of George for women, I think of George that are just like kind of the color, like my gene.

like what's like star si wear like hot yeah, yes, yes, yeah. We can go this action.

You walked in, I said these more look more like floods where, like, your pants are liberally, just like too short for you.

I look like I stole the kids pan .

and put them and but no, i'm going to have to get a video you because, to be fair.

do you guys have video on this point?

This is going to, this is the camera. I love how you like, thought for five seconds, you are being serious. I was like, yeah, we look into the .

camera will also, this is a thing about me that I learned in college. I have a long towards so and lobe legs. I didn't know that. I didn't know I had sure legs until someone told me. And then my whole world shifted.

Who the fuck told you.

you someone .

who had who was jealous of my long torso? Because IT goes on forever and i've learned to embrace that. I like Britney .

spears was at a woman or man.

I was definitely like one of my good friends who was like, well, hana has a long time when I go. Has everyone been talking about my torso for years?

And no one told me that's like when I was in college in the girl told me that everyone was talking about my banana.

O under my bed. Do you know what a banana? No, I want to .

know about one cheek. It's just like a little extra fat under the lip of your butcher. K, and they would talk about how have a banana role.

So then, of course, in my most insecure days, when I got to new ork city, I M I went to a surgeon and ask, is there a way to remove this little chaba? You dare a dark time, really dark? I went to this woman and I asked, can you slicer off? And he was really IT is not a big .

deal of banana is one those things that is girl and girl crime no man has ever been like, wow, i'm no folking micro SHE got a banana thing.

Thank you. Hand a because you do want more to love little extra on and just like a labyrinth. Tra.

big baba, yeah. Make a lab. C that leaving a clap.

The last time I saw you was on to my tour, and I remember when I was sitting down creating my guest list, and boston was the opening. I was like, first I was just shitting my pants, and I was even doing a live tour. And I was like, who I need someone I going to feel so comfortable with that would like, light out kilos of ee fail if I freeze, if I fuck up. This person can just like.

take the thing and run. I feel like you knew that I would never be judged you like if we failed, we failed together and .

we if I was going to be like you did, you did good. We can work like you be honest with me, but you wouldn't like, make me feel bad. You just, i've got you. I'll come to the next pet of the show.

be like a teammate. And I got called up to the majors just to like vibe for a sex.

So hana comes on tour with me. We open in boston, and I will never forget. You walk out. Actually, you didn't walk out. Hand starts to in the warm, and although I think you like, where did you do the worm or did you chest bump the ground and bounce backup IT.

okay, that's thousand attack. Thousand attack. I reach my life for you. I wish my whole body, my lower back was fucked and killing me from the flight anyway, will talk about that later. But then it's so loud from the cheering weekend here, each other.

This is what we need to get until because, no, this is okay. So when you think of standing on a stage in front of thousands and thousands of people, you're already like you. I am getting anise.

I'm going to shit my pants literally. You guys. I could not hear a word that hanna was saying.

word I was saying either.

So picture this. I'm asking hanna something about like dating you. And all I remember is you start speaking and I read your lips and you say, bondage yeah and I am literally like, where the fuck is he going with this? And then the crowd is laughing.

But I have no idea what you're saying. So I start fake laughing. I'm like, so I you really like laughing .

a parts that like weren't really the right part. So I could really like a low fear in your eyes. And I was I just go like I need to start monolog ing because we're not go away back for there. So I would monologue and then, like give IT to you, but like we were fighting for her life in the best way like the high was incredible though IT was insane.

a good energy IT was perfect. And now you're here and you've a fucking in network special like it's crazy. We're going to talk about the net special a little bit later because I want to go through at all.

But first, we're just gonna have a good combo. silly. I just want to get silly with you when I have so many things, something about for like the summer girl is that are listened. I think we have a lot to talk about first and foremost because maybe if someone hasn't listening to our previous could you just share from your recollection it's OK you don't remember what are some of you you like best .

color dating moments? I have to say, first time, you know, i'm going to say sleeping with the mascot. T I didn't expect to go as viral as I did.

I didn't know that.

Shout out bucky badger, you little animal in the bedroom like I go to wisconsin and girls would be like, I .

looked bucky too. Like, get. But IT was me like flexing, informed to be like a like my type post professions, athletes and you were like on the closest thing i've ever come to fucking in athlete is the mother fact mask out of the college.

Funny thing that was that before him, I was with the like six eight study football guy that I thought everyone wanted, but he would like one of me to go to bible study. He is CT, so I don't know how he read a bible.

And he was just like, so not my type, but I thought I should like him and then instead I like to bucky but the funny st thing about bucky, which I don't know if I fully explained, was that like he rejected me and the add, like he was one of those like guys who you're like i'm doing like a make a way and then he hurt you more than anyone. And this was a what like, one of my most embarrassing moments was I got drunk. K, I remember I was going there for the summer, and I was so excited to see him like, you know, when you're playing music, just like dreaming of all the moment you guys are onna, have to other. I was like, I, but this somewhere I A bit and I got drunk and I went up to him at the kk, the barn. He was the manager.

I know how asa.

and and know I know he was like double life.

but like ana montana.

no jaw anyway. So ja, yes, I was like, this is going to be easy, like we can do this. Shout out, hit the ms.

Me sometimes I love you are not lying, you know that it's no just like you're saying it's like just I just like he wasn't steadily, but he was funny and nice and I was like, canada, this is what you need. And then I go to now. This was very specific. For the time I go, we don't have to be facebook official but like you can date me, don't hear from him for two weeks .

to the point .

where like i'd go out and like you know and you can enjoy the conversation with your friends because you're just like this literal mova of a man who's running around like skipping as a mascot is not responding to me dude, those things make you grow the and we will meet him. Laugh about IT now and he's like onstar. I was Young.

I was scared. Whatever really .

regret today, what is lucky up to now, looking now at early, it's so chaotic and I feel like the girls are trying to established, like a nice connection with the guy. Guys are trying to like, show up for their friends. We want two different things. How did any relationship ever work out in your .

twenty is impossible. It's little, little impossible. I'm sorry.

I just have like a big of you like what sport was he? The house cup? Again, all the sport.

Oh, jesus and poor. How to the time his friends with the hockey guys? okay. So i'm pictured you showing up to one of the games that he's got his folic mass, got dudon and are you like walking past the mascot? T like you don't trying to make guy contact with the guys.

guys who are mascots and you don't know who's the mass got that day so you on bucket, sorry. And so I would just hope, you know, I was him, and I would look at him and his bedlow eyes .

and then fuck off. Oh, sorry, you're not him. Sorry you. Can you quickly show me your chin note.

not you. Also, I don't want to sleep, shame myself. But you know, you blocks about, I actually made out with another bucky, so I hope he's not jealous.

Ruin through, she's always been a mascot.

Life through the mascots ran at least a light jog. I would say.

let's talk about drinking. Yes, what are you doing this summer? Are you raging? Are you keeping a chill? Are you sleeping in your bed, like, and getting back .

at at seven? So I actually have been good drink. Er oh, like I in college wanted to be a good drinker. Like I would we be pregame and i'm like, okay, let's cup hocked up and I was always the Younger one of the, like, ten stems.

And I remember getting pull to the side by, like one of the girls and being like, hey, can I talk to first? Second, you're at a twelve. Everyone else is out of four. We need you to calm down.

So then I would be like, H, I really wrong.

And then I would like stargeshina red. And then I one point, then I i'd be at a four and everyone else is black out and then I get sleepy. So i'm like, the worst, i'm just not a fun drink.

Like or you if I took you to dinner tonight, would you be like doing two cocktails and no, or you not even having a cocktail.

The thing is I don't need a cocktail ever, I mean either but like if there's a celebration, i'll do. What if someone is peer pressuring me? Like, well, i'll do you like. I respect to the effort of a good peer pressure. I do have to say, after real TV and I stop getting paid to, I stopped drinking.

I would basically was like.

there are so many days that the cameras go up and they're like, okay, we're having a theme party and you're like, oh, my god and I I don't like theme parties and I don't like parties either. I I hate a theme party. I hate a group of people that I don't know.

And you like the last time I blacked out was on real T V. But if you black out, you have to doing the parties. The only way to get your mike off is if you jump in the pool.

So if i'm ever in the pool, that means i'm black out floating around just like flooding in the pool, just hoping that they don't ask me of a conversation because they'll like had to come up and like fight with this person. I'll be like i'm the paul. I can't get out, hana. I got one big trouble once. why? So the first thing they say they're like the only rules are like if you're gonna a go pool, take off your mike, that's the only rule and they treat us like where kindergarteners at a summer camp, we'll be like i'll be talking something like are you going to go the pool and will be like hana.

If you want to go the pool, let us know first you can take off your my oh god, are you going to go the pool they're just dealing with like so then at one point I decide to do like a sprinting cannibal because I love attention and I was like, cause 是 i start running， I do cannibal, I land, I get up. Everyone's looking at me like I just drowned their baby. Everyone's like, and i'm going to there i'm like, was a bad, was a bad the my guy how do you guys starts running knees up like olympic sprinting towards me, hobs in the pool and like yanks me out and he like takes IT off me like a huff puff s leaves and they're like, okay, he's really matter you .

and i'm sorry, it's a mike pat apparently they're like.

really expensive and the mike person, like it's there mikes, oh.

fuck for you little piece of so he was like this .

dumb drunk bitch and I remember like seeing him the next same building. Sorry, I was little bit drug and we laugh about IT now. But like, I was never more scared of my life.

Whisky deck.

oh my god.

I hasn't had like, well, well, I guess i'm trying to think back to like college I feel like was like whisky essential. Have you have ever .

had like a weird experience with so an alien we call IT I and that needs to be Normalized. But you know exactly what i'm talking about. It's like a little hard.

It's a little hard, but your night, it's not good. okay? You're not going to give a five stars on the op.

I actually hate l dente. Is that like criminal to the italian?

Fuck up the past and just go. It's and it's .

safe. Thing or just like mat.

the macri that like you put in the my room, that's like guys dick sometimes yeah yeah the smashing of a guy's deck and tear of vagina. People don't talk about IT enough because then how does IT also feels not good when it's so innocent, but just feels .

like when I used to be fucked up in college and I would like see that he clearly had whiskey and he's like, I got this, I got this. I got this and he he's doing the same thing yeah there even if I had literally taken a bottles of ticula to the head there nothing that sobers me up faster yeah they mean like you just put IT what the fucker you're doing. And then also, i'm completely sober and I see his little it's just, I think let's give advice to the dad the next time that Willy takes your pants off and little Willy is al dente is very .

like today and .

you want and dad, a little cream sauce coming out.

These dogs are like cats sometimes it's like if you want IT to get to come to you like they won't come, you know like, you know IT is so mental like you're playing these games, you have like not look at you and pretend you don't want IT and you know what you know I was say, because if you like, don't like, don't come, you know what happening and you're like, are you don't don't ask you about like you have to like, look away and like, don't be intimidating and don't put pressure on him. It's like a whole thing.

If people would wear a shirt that said dicks, you would emerge that say, dicks are like cats, or cats are like desk with the fucking ta. I guess you're kind of right.

We have to Normalize that. Sex is not good a lot of the time. And I love talking to you about IT because I feel like you've shown women that they can have the sex they want to have. But I also know, just from numbers, just from grow math, you, with all those good experiences you have, had to have some of the most horrible experiences in bed to get there too.

cana IT. Almost like if you had to count the bad, I would be able to count the good orgasms i've had on my hand over the bad like experience. I guess I would consider up until the age maybe of until I met mah and maybe a couple strugglers, bad.

bad. And that is iconic for everyone notes.

I know it's interesting. I was doing an episode other day and I was saying how like math and I go through through periods of like, oh, we haven't had sex in a week like and I was like, oh my god, bet people are going to be like freaked out to hear that for me because i'm just being honest like we get so fucking busy and even we're in the same house. We're not traveling. We're the same house. We're so fucking y busy reality as we go through these loans where we're like.

fuck, people get too busy to break up. It's a very easy to be too busy to have that. You know the couple that they are like he has a meeting tomorrow and like i'm going italy and I just don't and then his mom, I just cm and his birthday time.

Make up ready ready to hear like what is like .

going to do what of the phone and then like she's coming.

But it's so right now, I did even think about that people have plans that they are going to break up and they're the way. So sex, it's not put on the back burner and you're so write the amount of that IT has hurt that I have not had an orgasm and I faked IT the amount of times that they thought they were going to make me score and I was religious.

bleeding way that later you you like and then later.

just like blood, like you literally just hire logic ics inside of my things.

In college, one of my friends was older, was like sitting on the floor outside the bathroom and doesn't college. And I came up to was like, you can she's like, just never do ano. And I was like, wine. She's like, i've been leaking for five hours and to that day i've been scared. Like, but that's girlhood.

That is like the scene from the funk and ring like the girl dispute. Like her head .

was he was ano SHE is like, I can for my family leaking like what's coming out?

I number that.

you know, okay, I attempted IT once in the shower.

which is great. I don't know.

don't you sex in the shower period, water is not loob, water is not loop, but we will be bloody don't my friend told me, like IT is so fucked up, you try in the, I guess I was thinking my clean and whatever IT was so painful. I also want to talk about OK. There's so many sex things that you try to do that you don't like.

Everyone loss half their virginity, right? absolutely. People don't talk about the half virginity.

I want people to the movies like he took my flower, he literally grazed my lip and then I was in pain. I got a good tiny .

bit comes out and then you're like. Then he tries to push them more.

Do you like? No, then you like, I gone like.

I do like a whole bit about losing your virgin. And I kind of Normal ize all the experiences girls have in doing these shows in front thousands of girls and then laughing, tells me, oh, we all like lots of virginy and then he was like, did you come and you're like, unless the blood everywhere was come of, no, IT just happened. And I don't want na do that again you and then he's like, always, I accidentally hit your bottom during dog and you're like a what is go and your body's is like has a reflex of an engine web.

Be like like IT there so much stuff.

And I do if I follow the Younger girls like my cousin was like going after college and I was just like, I just want you to hold her because everyone has bad experiences. I mean, it's so hard. I member, once there was this guy who was like, so hot, because that's the problem. The hot ones does not mean the rest of IT is going to real .

if anything is worse, if anything is worse.

because girls have not taught them, they're untrained. I remember he was like trying to touch me, and he just wasn't good. And I didn't like his vibe and he like, I got my cigarette on his right.

I just member be like, oh, I can't do cigarettes. This would talk about like you I just I don't like cigarettes and I just like and you can chase me around and like the cigarette thing. I don't like that.

Just turning him on more. You're now it's i'm a libra, you won't get IT IT is it's a library. Think like i'm like i'm going to library would just say IT like I literally have a bit about that.

I didn't put the special where i'm like guys hate cats and astrology, so just look at him to be like my cats name is client and his rising inquiry as holl be like, okay, never mind. Thank you. check. Please realize a strategy to get him away from you.

Westernize astrology.

not right. Such a no.

Do IT views on knowledge .

of what they are afraid of. We're afraid of getting murdered. They are afraid of strategy. Use your weapon. We write IT on.

go watch. I have like style mother buck. How much does that say about our fucking world? We're afraid of getting murdered. And men are afraid of astrology. I want to go book my she's that .

she's a leal like I don't trust her. I like I don't just them because in many ways.

I'm just with you. I missed you so much.

No, I love you. Like the call I want to do you love?

No, I, I, my face is hurting.

Good question. What do you think about retired athletes?

You like put them behind the bar, put them behind the bar .

bars or just .

take about to a field and at all .

IT is I think that at our age.

we're dealing with them now.

A, I hate to say that I actually think they could be more toxic than the ones in the league. yeah. Oh.

please .

extrapolate so.

Give my diagram, me like I have a look .

in whole part of 照， laser goes down.

So here's the thing, although they don't have like that, but in them technically as much any more in terms of like they're on the road theyve got the road beef, like you're like UI kansas road beef. They now have like less to lose where like a lot of guys, although they're protected sometimes like you. But would I get instructive than I can play tomorrow?

I feel like the retired athletes are now just in this like sedated state of just like entitlement but no purpose and so they can hone in on you and just be like your my purpose and i'm like, no, no, no, no, get away for me and they become psychotics. I lived across from one can art no, I can't tell the story because he's literally the most elpo on the internet, and he basically was the most cycle person i've ever met my life. And I was like this, i'll tell you after, but I was more of the area as moment.

However, athletes are scary too, because you know what, i'm in new york city. This is actually not that long ago. He was like towards the end of my new york days, and I am hooking up with this hockey player at one night.

We had followed each other on social media. We met in college a couple times. I D maybe sexus peux once that was of IT was a pal. no.

This was not a palace sensor. This dick is so lucky.

scary, large, fine for a blow job. But IT went, it's either left or right. I can't remember.

Okay, so i'm in new york city. I run into a metal club immediately. And like he's one of the hottest st people in the nh make you so fucker hot. Let's fucking do this. But i'm convinced as a girlfriend and like we isn't your instagram like full of this like girl that is like your girl's friend and he spends the entire night convincing me that they're not together. And I like why I just know athletes .

and athletes good at sales are going to sales after. So we have become full king .

coco selling people he, i'm like, but any also, i'm in IT. I've did IT at this before. Any fucking athlete, many you done with someone, you delete all the fucking pictures.

You don't need to prove that you have a hot bit on your arms like you're not a fucking loser. Like you're good so I get super drunk and then i'm like, you know what? He's so fucking hot.

I mean, can said that loud. I'm mad. Trust him. disgusting. I we go back to his place.

We started like, god just do IT i'm sure she's not your girl anymore. I choose to believe this man. After three hours, we go back and his curve pens es out and we start having sex.

And a blow job was one thing, because this mouth can do great things. This curve business is so large. Hanna, I start bleeding.

I am in so much pain, and I just kind of stop IT. I leave. Two months later, he's engaged.

How affected this man explained blood because we either murder or girl .

out here you you wanted a was even worse. As i'm deciding to leave his drunk and friend comes in to tell him that he has to be up for a brand deal the next morning and the lights are all on as i'm getting my clothes together. Murder scene by hanna, I thought I was a little bit blood.

His sheet are just a red everywhere. And now this man is married to this woman. So praying for you, praying for her. Like it's just sad that a pic .

of shit yes, I did you. There's a thing going around on tiktok. Oh, I want to give her credit. This guy basically said that he realized. And like, I ve got to tell all the guys that we didn't know.

Do you know when girls say I want you to come IT means they want you to stop like they want you to be done like I thought they were into IT. Whenever you go, can you come in me? I want you to come.

Oh my god, can you wear so big? Can you come right now? She's done. She's already thinking about what he is to do that night. She's thinking of her choice.

She's text in the room .

noting and and the guy was like, great men did not know that unlike you think, we would just like we like to make this. We're saying we want to stand.

hanna.

I didn't .

many in my life.

Everyone's done IT. It's so the second I start talking in the bedroom, like, I like dirty talk. We're sweet.

The OK we've sure to do with emails. Mom has to work, okay? Mom has plod. Es.

this is so fucking accurate and terrify .

I say your dick is big that means i'm like.

like, like, oh my god, you're so big like come for me, come for me, for me and literally, if and is usually in dogging and when you're in doggy, you know if you're face to face, come for me when you're dog, you're lily is come for .

me your faces really like, I will murder you do you know your sarcastic?

Like, really, really okay. He like good OK, you're smiling. He's like losing his miner .

like I can which is hana girl girl.

that girl hood is IT hot in here. No.

I just swept for you. I want to. Is a little T I get so T I.

what are you ready? I always .

sweating. Can imagine me on my wedding. I was little White.

fuckyou. Choose you humbles me every day with my sweat, and I am thankful for OK.

But you don't get tends to you. No, I do. So i'm literally leaking orange at all times.

I just a memory of somehow me finding a youtube of you being like beaches. This is how you fucking spray in the best fucking spray ten and the fucking world rope is. And I was like.

and evaluate bitches, low shit. I don't think people understanding how pale I am. Nature, look at my skin .

way and friends losing. Have you discussed though, like your evolution of beauty here?

No, should be.

I feel like I want to.

oh my god.

I don't even know what that I feel like. It's been like so subbed with you but like you're not as long as you are all you .

get free time tonight.

I know SHE because you just .

called me pale to my base, but I don't think you're going as much. I only only i'm not. Oh my god, I use so. And I feel like the makeup is more subbed. But like, was IT conscious or you just as you got older, you were like, oh, I feel in my face I relate to, oh.

I think you I saw you saying something about this on your podcast, on a clip I saw. You know how people are saying, what is IT I blindness and you were like, people are boyfriend blindness, fact I had, and I probably still do have eyebrow blindness. If you look at pictures of me from college, IT started to get scary, like I was just insane.

Huge black IT. IT was too much. I do think i've reeled IT in more.

And you you have blond eyebrows, blond. So you like to tinder a little, yes, but the blinds can happen with that.

It's also scary because I look back and like, i'm convinced when I started at barstool, I really lead into the bimbo like, yes, that like, like iconic, like cover all of us. I photoshop fuck out of IT. And I remember us sitting there together, me being like, the lips bigger tips, bigger, like, boom, boom, boom.

Face to blinds is such a thing. He was in tape back to me. I don't have faced me, was like using pic monkey.

So I was like, all my web Browness. I was literally coating and making my little bigger gay. We do not face that. Your horse, I was like, do to do code, X, Y, Z, lip, bigger.

bubu lum lum. Once use the worse code.

And then when they really can, you send us another version of, just like the original?

And I was like, no.

Not only can I not endure the original, I can say that because you like, know the one of you guys, I looked nothing like us. So because of that, I like, I do live up to the thing. So overlying the fuck out of my lips.

I was like doing so much dramatic shit that I was like, I now look back, and oh my god, I literally looked like a fucking hour. But you know what? cheers. That made me a lot of money.

Well, I was going to say.

I was gonna say i've learned like the way you present yourself does a flic in this town. It's a thing and that's why we're ties sometimes because it's powerful. People like, can you wear ties on turn to make ties the thing?

Are you ever loving what the fact I .

wear thai ones on gigi squad and he was mixed reviews she's not in.

but I read you feel so do you wear with oh.

I fully would like an eighty salesmen I were just would like about and that like I went full like I want to feel like how a guy feels with a tie. You feel first, all humans wine. You started like many things.

You have just like shot up A I I was listening, speaking. I feel like there's like a shrill noise. So I the tie, like you feel like you a dick because it's like hanging in around and you and you like you got you've got to make sure it's not like you got to keep IT in this place.

You feel powerful. I just think a girls that argue with tie, it's like hot. But do you have to wear color? Ture, I like a tintop of the tie to up that very overall but like I think of yeah I think you I mean, you know her now you can text .

her on IT if SHE .

is that room hanna, I hand a there was nothing funniest in .

my career maybe then when I was like really kind of like maybe pressing a little too hard being like, okay about Melissa and she's like, like do you believe did you start the conserving theory? And i'm literally thinking back to my user name like exact auto two and I like I was probably in those chat. No, but you were just speaking for the people in the important question.

I was research all I I was ma, so I was OK. And SHE is fun about IT, yeah. But then you can ever win because everyone's comment was like.

that's what Melissa was not like what I feel bad .

I was like and I love her though she's like that, like the least of my worries. Like if that's the biggest room more about me, I like that you're dead and then you came back as someone else. You have a body double, I guess I would be kind of cool. I imagine if that was the fucking room about you. Honestly.

I would die for those something stupid, like barber again.

I shit .

barb really.

and would never do something like that.

Eesti, please start that bugging rumor. Alex is dead. Someone else came back, okay.

your x men trying to pick up a penny. Oh my god, they're like, struggle. How often do you see, say, i've never seen a penny in the last ten years, but like the concept of them, like try, do what they are like .

nobby stupidity.

where are the pennies? Like I change .

in a while.

What those very bridge of you.

you got this changed .

to of them, spotify is never given me change. Can you pay in quarter, next, next quarter?

SHE and I like this .

nurse in first or .

no parties, not even quarters.

Fuck, fuck you. Have you ever strong?

Just clip that honestly just clip IT away .

is IT how to here? That is very rich to me. Go quit.

You want to see. You see a pei in ten years. Fuck you.

Have you ever stolen anything from a hook cubs place? Apartment like a house. Apartment like anything I have.

What did you see? You like.

you're friend who's like, I want to tell you a story, but I am going to ask you worse if, like, I wanted know, what do you still in ipod S, I feel like ap pod s are the easiest thing to steal because everyone loses their apods ds.

But I have literally unintentionally sold airpower s before and i'm like walking through the airport and it's possible to not steal in airpower. But IT cannot then IT comes up as on your film like you have jeremy, I like.

I like you or something I don't know. I don't fuck with the airpower. S, I have the old school.

I used delta headphones. Oh, you you don't think dell headphone that's like I find you the amount of debt I could. We struggled myself to that with the amount of delhi headphones. I have not IT .

up in my back. I could have .

course small squirl here.

I have unsafe to delta heads.

I have flying around IT would definitely the whole ocean would every fish would die with the man of delt head.

We we, I feel like the delt headphones kind of like, don't stay in my ear.

You want to check out each other, ear can, right?

Honestly, I think i've wacked me got someone. I don't shower living to me. Your intrust of thought .

are so crazy, and they're just coming out right now. I'm getting really hot, so it's starting to get to my head goes, I have a join days. I have a word.

I ve been surging for pennies. I can't find them anywhere. I'm like, i'm so rich and I have .

your wax very much.

When you have that, your wax will find you. Yeah, I don't know how to go to. No, hanna, when I was in, this is disgusting. It's actually not. This is important .

when everyone there is something.

do you ever warm in your year?

I fighting with? I would go viral. Me, i'm such a hervieu and my, oh god, someone puts me in my listings in college.

I always would talk so loud. It's actually natural. I don't know why i'm going to play in the seven years I talked to loud but then I was maybe need .

to get like my yours checked and then you thought you .

were dead may be on the death few hours.

Like it's like you can just anyone else because you've ever shut up.

You're just annoyed the doctors like just shut that I got so I go and y're like we see a little year wax. They do the same where they like poured into me whatever. And it's basically like a honey com. Looks like I came out of my first eat. I was a holy shit that's been in my ear.

I it's what's a it's a conoque here.

yes.

Yeah, you called us today. I'm here literally fucking my year.

It's all draining. It's all training. And then I could hear like a little Better. But really I was just .

getting because every time I put phones on a run in and I so the other day i'm doing .

this prep and this girls like, can I give you these airports? You need to listen and and I am really like, I brought my own and choose like these ones because they're connected to the screen and I little, little more start crying and I really take IT out and i'm like, are you going to like, let me keep these .

it's like once I want to lends you you're they're underwear and you're like, i'm kind of spotting right .

now IT just like little like discharge. I don't look.

Just guys.

there be some great we are literally bial but I acute up .

in your ear but as I said that, I said that because it's not like you're not supposed I want Better no why .

i've went Better and it's going to to be so bucky, disgusting. And i'm really never gonna recover from this, you know, to Better than a fucking q tip.

A faith, alex, I think all girls, I want to, to be secret spies. I want us to break into car doors with our gales once I want to say .

these are too long. Yeah, this is giving like I like.

I can't text right now. I met that point. We're like they've grown out. The last amount where I have to I actually have never gotten fake nails before is as long as you go yeah and he put him on i've never gotten full because I like, I killed the whole family and break one you're like and I was like, how do you get them off and she's like old zhou process. You have to like soap for three days like it's the whole thing get like I don't have time .

for this shit, can I the other week just took a fucking a clipper and just clip them all so they were straight day.

I have to fight that urge .

it's discussing, but I have the out anyway, me just shake your dialect and created .

around because the present .

you can scoop out because my fear is these. Or just shoving a deeper in. You've seen those videos hand.

Yes, I have seen those videos. Oh, I remember the ones, my favorite mom from color daddy member that I was when I said the only way I can orgasm was with my lake straight. And i've never had more of a connection with girls in my life.

I want you to know that I did end up trying that oddly, maybe like a week after we film together. yeah. And I thought of me is that I thought of you on my time joying. I was having an orgasm like.

hana, you were really well. You got ta class. You got to class.

I'm afraid to. If I bend my knees, I will for.

oh my god, literally tired by you. You are holding a dog and you don't. I, yeah, I I guess I can say i've had an orgasm.

I had thought of you. So thank you. So what did I feel? How do we get here? here.

What I did, I, I took us off, felt a killed their pod. Have I saw him? I was dating this rich guide.

This point was pissing me off.

I new when the rich does account.

Did you just say, what if when the rich does account? Like, you know, IT with big, big box stores, the taxes, I about ceiling. Well, let me take you the thought process. So he was sleeping. I dragged him, I, the military and hit.

I finally drug him. He was out. I am in his apartment and I start to spiral because i'm like, i'm looking at him breathing and i'm like he's definitely cheating and is definitely being so we weren't in dating but i'm like he's cheating with other women bola. So I start to panic and I can't sleep so I start walking around his apartment and then I get this crazy idea and like, fuck him. I mean, fucking takes something from this apartment like fucking you because .

you're a full fight with him at this.

I was in my head. He does, no, he does not know. So I start going round and i'm looking at these relaxes.

And i'm like, I feel like this is jail because I feel like he, I feel like I crazy that, like, he would actually call the police on me. And I was like, in college, I couldn't handle that. I was like, I not, I can't build myself out.

was older, would i've taken the role, but I need to finish college first.

I didn't .

want to be in juv .

can hl juv .

I good till juvie at .

that point in my life? Although a mug shot would be kind of like shei didn't figure like what can I get a mug shot for? And ah so anyway so i'm i'm posing around and i'm passing by the roaches and I finally .

like let you go out, you say roches roches watches got IT role .

like I see the role ex and I can't afford to this when they're OK can't take that. So looking around, looking around. And then finally, this is the most petty thing because it's so stupid and IT might as well have been headphones hina. I find this box that has not been opened and it's a go pro. And I look at IT and .

i'm like, I pick IT up.

I put IT in my purse and I thling my person over my fucking shoulder, and I steal this man's mother fucking go pro. I home myself a cab. I get home and I put the box at my decks and I like, ha, there you go, mother fucker. And I never used to go pro. And I would look at IT, and I would, I did nothing but .

that I have two things to say. No one ever used go pro. Second all, if a man has a go pro, that is the biggest ec i've ever had. A men with go pro.

he was an athlete. I like, what is he doing with this co pro? And then I fucked an athlete a couple months later and he had a go pro on this fucking head board.

And I was like.

no wait.

that's .

walked. He had a go pro on his fucking headboard. I was literally like that.

You see that after you like, why I love IT you .

like in the shower I turned to go.

the government. 嗨， 查理。 So OK, if you want .

to see something though.

that's like, actually tell them up why his remote here.

the devil ruin .

his fucking life, ruin that man's life. Just take their mode. And he'll always think he lost IT in the couch, somehow taking someone's remote.

Ce proba the minutes you could do more time.

And he has now to text you. I like b, but thinking is that you get a SPA.

you just keep taking everything from .

easily distract you from like our connection.

It's like I hate you. You've just say you don't really .

know a person until you've seen them in a room trying to find their remote like take going to restaurant and how they treat the radar, hide their remote and see how they act. That is the real person right there. Or you've had .

IT with the floating tables. You like OK.

I don't want to have a child with you.

The next is you little, just like IT was under your pillow. Here you go.

It's really not that it's my problem with man. They can even find the thing that you told them where IT is, but they're running the FBI but i'm not I yeah it's time to solve to those issues.

Do you have any excess that like hate you? Do you have any local terms with your x questions?

So my therapist told me that i'm a little like I don't talk to any of my exes. Accept british dave bridge. I love british dave.

How to bridge save in an Angel. So q and then there's some who I know don't have good boundaries, so I blocked them and one blocked me because um this bench. Any man who blocked you, that's an egg.

It's so because I didn't even do anything him and i'm like, oh my in many weeks if I check and he still has blocked and i'll be like she's still a gal. She's that girl that literally cry man. I like, if I was the person he is with her right now, and I I knew my husband had a girl blocked, I would be jealous. I'd be like.

what's wrong if you are blocked, he's in love with.

But then I had to blob on tiktok so he'd have to block a dig .

to he's litter going .

to everything for now. Is a block bucking that?

Just the thing I joke about? I don't care what hard times you go too, because I actually this particular man had did stuff that like, he tried to hurt my career, which like that when I don't like but so then I was like, I didn't even want an netflix special but now I have do my friends with joke because i'd been remand doing like ten shows i'm dying and they're like, is IT worth IT and i'm like, it's fucked and worth worth so I don't and the thing is, sometimes you get this motivation from anger so good. But the best parties, when you get to the point that you forgot why you're even matter them and then people are like, this is your time like go on, call her daddy, drop the name, call them out to show the recedes you don't care anymore you're really .

like we I have a network special who is he again.

you literally forget and that's called healing. It's not not fully healing.

Think of him getting the email you want to read up your netflix subscription and he goes in to rep. IT in your fucking face. No.

that's that's the big at a moment. Like anywhere you go, you you have to see me.

Do you think any of them would label you a psycho? X.

that's so funny. The most psycho thing about me is that I avoid confrontation. So i've had so many relationships that had zero fighting, and then one day I would just call them, because I had to talk with my mom and i'll listen to anything.

This Angel, a bitch, says one of my worst relationships that, like on paper, like everyone was like, this is the greatest thing for you and one day I just poured my heart out to her being like, I don't feel good about myself. He's never laughed at one thing I said he was walked in front of me, but like five feet, like he controls everything, like when I got to see him, all that stuff. And I was Young.

I was like twenty six. He was older. And SHE goes, you're not going to his apartment and this is like two days ago, she's he's the best SHE goes, you're calling the pig, calling the phone, calling up. You're picking, you're picking the phone to call. You're calling your phone pick up. You're picking up the phone to all and SHE goes waking up with him and I was like, I was like, and he goes, i'm sitting with you over there right now and I called him and I said, like, I wanted and in he's like, what you .

talking about .

what and I was like, okay, like I wanted. I can't do this anymore and then another guy was really fucked .

as a mind fuck .

another guy which was so fucked up. He was so sweet, so nice. And my, I was like, twenty three to five four.

And my mom was just like, handy. He's not IT. And like, I really liked him. He was so nice. But like, I knew deep down that he was and he wasn't the one who and marry but he so nice I go just so and like, he was great. My mom was like, 嗯 and SHE was like handed you're wasting time。 Like just get out of IT we have no issues I call him was like, I think was in person. I was like we have because once I decide i'm out, so like we have to break up and he just looked at me of assessing ever, he goes so I can we talked you tomorrow and I member just being like, i'm sorry, like my mom's a savage and i'm so scared of her and he wants the best for me and he knows big picture and I can't waste my time with you because you're kind of a loser and .

and not you name here break up with your mom, really my mom.

and you can talk to in order you can like, but she's over. But then i've at times where SHE one guy SHE liked that I want to break up with. I waited for her to go on vacation, and I broke up with him when he was on vacation because I wanted her to enjoy her vacation comes back and I broke up with them. He was like.

I would yes, I think that's like the most fun thing with like I was with my mom too is like Lorry has lived all of my relationships like when I just said an episode, this athlete SHE was like, oh my gosh, but you didn't tell the story of this and said she's like my mom little goes, you should make IT a whole summer series that you do all these stories about him. I'm like, mom, we're trying to. I can sued mom also.

Like, I married mom, calm down. She's like, I wrote them all down. I have IT in my nobility from your colleges when you would call me, I knew you would .

need this stories one time, like one fucked up thing. If my mom doesn't want to fucked him, I don't want to be with him. And I hate to say IT, but it's so true if your mom is like, he's nice.

No, I want my mom to be flute with him. I want to see that he gets excited when this man walks in the room, and that is so disgusting and sick. But my mom is not in listening.

Be like, yeah, I want my daughter to be with a lucky in a hot like, because mom, my mom, I am very independent. You get up a man in our life. They need to be an asset and good to look at.

And and and I do this day .

I tell my mom everything .

too and and I posted can also excited, go on college today and I was like, guys, but i'm going to big package, which one do you think IT is? And I put like the little thing you can comment, like go in my mom goes coloured daddy he knows I don't like you. I was just with you SHE would got excited to no SHE she's that girl.

I'm obsessed with your mom and i'm just obsess. I think it's really nice to be able to like you would rely on your mom and that also blame your mom for everything.

Well, there was was a Julia drive. Lewis, sorry, just so many names. Yes, yes.

I think someone, I think he was her, give a speech which he was just like, can you listening to older women? Like older women know so much, you know everything. So it's like you have this asset that is your mother .

came out of her .

user and ask a ten of questions and yes, I know some mums like, you know it's not always joy and then I saw out I said .

out if she's a fuckyou, nice like literally narcy exercise can I speak says we go you're like i'm going to pick up him and call .

the phone it's really so you knew what I was going to say though .

you knew what I was say I so anyway so yeah.

that's my problem. And I think some guys have been probably little confused, but i've never i've never pulled like a crazy moment, like I have so much pride and I could be insecurity where like, I never want people to think that I that's what like things in my pass sive annoyed when people like she's obsessed, whatever whatever. Like I I am never put myself in that position because I am pride ful and insecure. So like when people like guys in the public, i'm like them and has never made me laugh. He's like annoyed the fuck out of me and like, I just want to have .

fun but is annoying. I hated the double center of like a man can say that stuff and then people than other women will agree with the man to be like, you're so right and then if a girl just goes right back out, the guy people like, she's such a bitch like, yeah, why don't we game up on the man? You're fucking horse like what .

thing to where some guys would like? They would like my attention or they like my conversation or something. And that's like the most valuable thing to me where it's like i'd rather I just fuck and me like have a fun story than you consuming my life, calling me eight times a day and then like men or night, your friends, I have hilarious, beautiful people in my life. A man whose hot with no personality is not your friend and .

never will be and published. Be a boy for either.

no.

Is there too hot there?

scary. Know you are so scary.

Legal, really scary. Let's talk about this special.

Okay, by B.

I R, A, you need to explain to me, how did this come to be? Tell me everything .

I do have to say from doing a reality show. You can sometimes you feel larger than life if you feel like you're the course person, never your spending, your perfect, everyone loves you, which is like also not true. Or you can feel like they put mud on you, and everyone just sees you with this stuff on you.

You're trying to shower IT off and you feel misunderstood. Feeling misunderstood was like my biggest fear. And the universe was like, let's do IT to you.

And I wasn't definitely a place, but I was in a dark place, but I never felt stuck. I just was like, okay, we gotta pip IT. We gotto pip IT.

I was in this like, where's the next thing? And tiktok was this new crowd where, like, people to know who I was, and I got to, just like therapeutically, I would go on stage after real TV. And I would, in my head, be like, I hope these people don't hate me.

And I was, but I had this drive to show them like, I want them to, at least not like me because they don't like my comedy, which is such a like, uh, more peaceful perspective. My art, you like the art and like cool work expressing ourselves and and I needed to get Better. And when I was on stage, it's fucked up at my mind is very, doesn't shut up.

So when I was on stage, I was the only time that I wasn't repeating or trying to figure out like my past. So I got to be present in that moment telling my wife jokes. But I was like IT, was like my safe space.

And then comics was this crew of people who made me feel so much Better about myself. They were like dying, laughing at the shadows, going through with reality TV like they were. I was telling them these stories.

They were like, I would have burn the house down. I would. And they maybe feel a little more where you can feel in the wrong crowd.

You really do feel like you're losing your your mind. And that's what the point is all the time. So I I start to get this.

I must feel like hawk girls don't traditionally go. Let's do stand up comedy tonight, or let's go to the stand up comedy club. Be go to your boyfriend. But I was able to kind of cultivate this allegorist m of like unbias, but like hot, successful, funny women who wanted to laugh and felt safe in their bedroom laughing at comedy.

And then with gigi squad and getting the girls to come out to the show, I was like, oh my god, we have this like group of women coming out to comedy shows, loving stand up and allowed them as their first ever shows. And he was powerful. And because I was selling tickets, I didn't have to wait till I get chosen to beyond line ups and stuff.

And I was, like producing my own shows. And then I start doing hand on the street where I was making friends with all these comics. And then the common community started embracing me in a way where I was just like, either you like me don't I don't care like I need you'd except me but like, because I came in with some of some followers and some comics would be like, SHE didn't bomb in enough basements, but i'm like, I wanted build you.

I wanted to be like Chelsea heras where I I bring people that are talented around me no matter how many followers you have, I fuck with you if you're like a nice person. He's talented and it's against selfish. I've made to be like, I I wanted before you go famous. I'm gonna put you on no.

but I think it's like you recognized people that you fuck with. And I feel like sometimes you're right. People will be like, I am too big for that like they they make IT and then i'll give them acknowledged where you're like I felt like that person I didn't have that and I wish someone would have recognized how talented I was and up and threatened, but like.

helped lift me up. yeah. And then I just continued touring. I continued touring. Get on the road, be with my girls, work on the jokes, work on the jokes, work on the jokes. And then variety kind of noticed me was like, she's definitely I should going on, and we get a call from nefert.

Oh my god.

Now the crazy thing about this call is my agent, like netflix, wants to do a special with you. I am freaking out like, I have a video of me like, I was like shaking. I go to other room and I like death, a kind of special go. He looks at me, no smile, and he goes, yeah, you're not shooting that and I was like, i'm sorry, isn't this like the goal? And he goes, you have nine more months of touring and you're going to do those in nine more months because your bits are gonna be tagged up in that much Better at the end of and you tell them you'll shoot IT the latest, you can possibly shoot IT.

So like he's immediate, he's protector, of course and he has done his own career where he's like you don't rushing into a special but like, I love this material so much and i'm so happy that I basically told netflix, like, in a year old, i'll do IT. So they were like, why? And I was just like, I think I could make IT even Better even though they liked IT at the time.

That's like, so I like, I SAT on that should like and I wasn't like I didn't even tell page for like a month much because I heard minute legally because I just wanted to sit in IT. But I was such a great moment of lake. It's not about the special it's not about cloud. It's about like putting out something you're proud, right?

I thank you for sharing that because IT makes IT even cool. Now to like, I can't wait to watch IT. I was a little. Can I get a screener and there like, no. And I was like.

we were actually doing color correction still.

I would like, can I watch IT? No, like, no.

And I was like, no.

okay, fine. I'll watch you with you. I'm excited.

I'm going to like, have wine and I remit down. I'm going to be sending new pictures. I'm going to watch IT. I'm so very excited, but I truly am so proud of you.

Like, I feel like when I met you, I was like, oh my god, this is someone I could have been friends with my whole life, like having been athletes like. Knowing the fucking drama that you have from being an athlete, knowing the type of person that just like builds you into and you're like so competitive with yourself. And I think sometimes for especially women in sports, I feel like decades misconstrued. And we've doubt with like being our worst critics.

So I think we fight similar battles. I think that's why when we message each other, it's like, are you doing against your demons?

Are you lose if you go through all of our messages, we are only texting each other like checking s, we're like, I just saw this. How are you doing? I'm so proud of you. Proud of you. You, good. Kay.

talk in a couple of you.

So we're like, you good. And then we're like, you ready to come on the pod. You, okay, okay.

You're wearing, George, amazing midlife crisis q IT. Now for hope. I just am so excited for people to watch this. And I feel like you from what I met you to know was what I was saying is like you were so funny back then, but we both were insecure.

And of course, we are both sill insecure in some capacity but like I can't wait to watch the special because you are so much more yourself now than when I met you. You we were both going through IT. Not that we warn ourselves but like you, you're leading with like you're so fucking talented you are like anyone I talk to about you recently are like, oh my god, fucking hand and burner. She's light out like, I can't wait to see the special like you are just I get.

I feel like i'm living in a dream. I feel like I I redid the last pod with page and I fell asleep and then I have a dream that you are in a good i'm turning into my dad.

He loves quotes and he was IT basically is like, what if your biggest dreams came true and I think you are a good um example of that because you showing that because this can lone some times to the top and you showing that a girl could get a lot of attention and run a full company like it's paving the way for other people to be like, oh, that dream is not too scary and I do feel like with this special, I really hope that more girls are gonna like, i'm just like hanna and I tell me with my friends, wait, I like, like, fuck with this. I wanted to stand up because I have this conservative that, like, women are made for stand up, where gossipers we complain, we overanalyzed like that is what stand up is. So I just like disrupting male spaces and making men upset. And I think we write IT down.

We write IT on last question, hanna, how are you gonna feel if your netlik special is potentially in the background of some netflix s and jill sessions and people are fucking to your special? Oh, have you thought about that that it's gonna .

so awwa because i'll literally be talking about how hard IT is to ride a guy while you're riding a guy. And I don't know how you cover from that or like how like you're holding in your heart when you're cuddling and it's like you haven't had a far all day and and suddenly the second is dicks on your bot. You're like.

I have the biggest gas bob i've ever had. They're going to be that what is in the words you're hold your far and the girls like shut the fuck up in IT and I won't creeps and she's really like, oh my god, maybe washed with your girl .

but I think your boyfriends and the men your life should watch c at this quite educational.

It's very educational. It's for everyone. We write IT down Henna, I could say here and talk you for seventy more hours.

Think you're for also being so good at interviewing because you make me look good.

but you look would be difficult work.

Jugg you when I tell you our war, George, and color that sheep like you fucking this respectful .

but you guys have to. It's good. You both have.

You're different. I love. I like. You're different, anna.

It's just because you're different. I love you. Thank you so much.

Coming on color body, this was everything and more. I love you. This may be in our best work yet.

No, I think IT is. I love you.