Hannah Berner: Al Dente Dicks & Faking Dirty Talk [VIDEO]
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What is your daddy game? IT is your founding father, alex Cooper, with call her. Hannah burner, welcome back to call her daddy.

This is incredible because you did not have to have me back, but you not have to.

I was just thinking about this. I think you learn. And Harry are like the most reoccurred gas i've ever had on that. I never a regular .

body and I like, but I have to say that feels like a family reunion when a ROM.

I know everybody is not watching. So hanna texted me and SHE told me that he wanted to give me a heads up, that he would be wearing George out of respect, out of respect to which I said, thank you, because that does shift the energy completely. I'm going to be honest, when I think of George for women, I think of George that are just like, kind of the color, like my gene, like.

what's like Stacy wearing? Like, hot yeah you yes, yes yeah.

We didn't go this reaction. You walked in. I said these more look more like floods where, like, your pants are literally just like too short for you.

I look like I stole the kids pan and put them.

and i'm going to have to get a video you, because that, to be fair.

do you guys have video on this point?

This is a kill. This is the camera.

I love how you like, thought for five seconds, you are being serious. I was, yeah. We look into the .

camera will also, this is a thing about me that I learned in college. I have a long torso and lobby legs. I didn't know that. I didn't know I had to legs until someone told. And then my whole world shifted.

Who the fuck told .

you someone who had who was jews in my long torso? Because IT goes on forever, and i've left to embrace that. I like Britney spears.

Was that a woman or man? I was definitely like one of my good friends who was like, lahti has a long tourist when I go. Has everyone been talking about my torso for years?

And no one told me? That's like when I was in college in the girl told me that everyone was talking about my banana le under my. But do you know have banana?

No, I don't want to know. Now i'm going to pay about .

anna one cheek. It's just like a little extra fat under the lip of your butcher. K, and they would talk about how have banana role. So then, of course, in my most insecure days, when I got to new york city, I member, I went to a surgeon and ask, is there a way to remove this little chaba during a dark time, a really dark, I went to this woman and I asked, can you slicer off? And he was like, IT is not a big .

deal of banana is one. Those things that is girl and girl crime no man has ever been like, wow, i'm no fooling micro SHE got a banana thing.

Thank you. Hand a because you do what more to love little extra on and just like a labia a an extra big baby.

Ah yeah, make a lab. C that leaving a club.

The last time I saw you was on to my tour, and I remember when I was sitting down creating my guess list, and boston was the opening. I was like, first I was just shitting my pants, and I was even doing a live tour. And I was like, who I need someone i'm going to feel so comfortable with that would like light out kilos. So of ee fail if I freeze, if I fuck up. This person can just like.

take the thing and run. I also feel like you knew that I would never be judged. And like if we failed, we failed together as .

we if I was created to be like you did, you did good. We can work like you be honest with me, but you wouldn't like make me feel bad. You just think i've got you.

I'll come to the next and show, be like a teammate. I felt I called up to the majors just to like vibe for a sex.

So hanna comes on tour with me. We opened in boston, and I will never forget. You walk out, actually didn't walk out. Hand starts to win the worm. And although I think you like, where did you do the worm? Or did you chest bump the ground and bounce back up?

IT was okay. That's thousand attack. Thousand attack. I wish my life for you. I wish my whole body, my lower back was fucked and killing me from the flight. Anyway, we will talk about that later, but then it's so loud from the cheering weekend. Hear each other.

This is what we need to get in to, because now this is okay. So when you think of standing on a stage in front of thousands and thousands of people, you're already like, U, I am getting anio some way to ship my pants, literally, you guys. I could not hear a word that hanna was saying.

word I was saying .

either to picture this. I'm asking hannas something about like dating you and all I remember is you start speaking and I read your lips s and you say, bondage yeah I am literally like, where the fuck is he going with this and then the crowd is laughing but I have no idea what you're saying so I start fake laugh. I'm like, so I you really .

laughing a parts that like weren't really the right part so I could tell you like a little fear in your eyes and I was, I just go on like, I need start monolog ing because we're not going back before there so I would monolog and then like give IT to but like we were fighting for our life in the best way like the high was incredible though IT was .

insane is good and IT IT was perfect and now you're here and you've a fucking netlik special like it's crazy. We're going to talk about the network special a little bit later because I want to go through at all. But first, we're just gone to have a good combo.

silly. I just wanted get silly with you when I have so many things I think about for like the summer girl ys are listening. I think we've a lot to talk about first and foremost s because maybe if someone hasn't listening to our previous episodes, could you just share from your recollection it's OK you don't remember like what are some of your like best .

color addy moments? I have to say first time, you know, i'm going to say sleeping with the mascot, I didn't expect to go as viral as I did.

I didn't know .

that shout out bucky badger, er, you little animal in the bedroom like I go to wisconsin and girls would be like .

I folk bucky too like a ba asa a but IT was me flexing for me to be like, ya like my type post professional applies and you were like on the closest thing i've ever come to fuckyou in apply is the mother fact ask out of the college teenie thing was him.

I was with the like six, eight studying foobar guy that I thought everyone wanted, but he would like one of me to go to bible study. He has CT so I don't know how he read a bible and he was just like, so not my type, but I thought I should like him and then instead, I liked to bucky.

But the funny thing about bucky, which I don't know if I fully explained, was that like he rejected me and the add, like, he was one of those like guys who you're like, i'm doing like a make a way, then heard more than anyone I go. This was a what like one of my most embarrassing sing moments was I got drunk. Okay, I remember I was going there for the summer, and I was so excited to see him know when you're playing music, just like dreaming of all the moment guys going to have. I was this somewhere I A bit, and I got drunk, and I went up to him at the kk, the barn where he was the manager.

I know how asa.

and and I know, I know he, he was like, double life.

but like, and montana .

no jaw anyway. So ja, yes, I was like, this is gonna easy, like, we can do this. Shout out he dv, sometimes I love you are not lying, you know that?

No, just like you're saying, it's like just I just think he wasn't steadily, but he was funny and nice and I was like, canada, this is what you need and then I go to now. This was very specific. For the time I go, we don't have to be facebook official but like you can date me don't .

hear from him for .

two weeks to the point where like .

i'd go .

out and like you know and you can enjoy the conversation with your friends because you're just like this literal moat of a man who's run around like skipping as a mascot is not responding to me dude, those things make you grow the and we would mean him laugh about IT now and he's like onest ly. I was Young.

I was scared, whatever. Really.

really think what is lucky up now. But looking now, like only twenty, it's so chaotic and I feel like the girls are trying to establish like a nice connection with the guy. Guys are trying to like, show up for their friends. We want two different things. How did any relationship ever work out?

You're twenty. It's impossible. It's little ally, impossible. I'm sorry. I just have a good visual of you.

Like what sport was he? The house cup? Again, all the sport.

Oh, jesus and poor. How do the time his friends with the hockey guys? okay. So i'm picturing you showing up to one of the games that he's got his fool, c mass, got duty on. And are you like walking past the mascot like you don't trying to make guy contact with the guy guys .

who are maScotte and you don't know who's the mass got that day so you here day no little as they give a little tabi but wrong mass moon, bucky, sorry here so I would just hope, you know, I was him and I would look at him and his beauty eyes and he like.

fuck off actually oh, sorry, you're not him. Sorry you can you quickly show me your chin note.

not you also, I don't want to sleep shame myself. But you know, you blocks about, I actually made out with another bucky, so I hope he's not jealous .

through through she's always been a masked life .

brain through the mascots, at least a late jog, I would say.

let's talk about drinking. Yes, what are you doing this summer? Are you raging?

Are you keeping a chill? Are you sleeping in your bed? Like, and getting in bed at seven? Like.

what are? So I actually have never been a good drinker. Oh, like, I in college wanted to be a good drinker. Like, I would be pregame and i'm like, okay, the scut foot up and I was always the Younger one of the like, tender stems and I remember getting pulled to the side by like one of the girls and being like, hey, going to talk to first, second, you're at a twelve, everyone else is out of four. We need you to calm down so .

then I would be like, oh, I just OK and then I would like .

stargeshina red and then I one point, then I i'd be at a four and everyone else is black out and then I get sleepy. So i'm like the worst, i'm just not a fun .

drink like or you if I took you to dinner tonight, would you be like doing two cocktails and no, or you not even having a cocktail?

The thing is I don't need a cocktail ever. I'm in either. But like if there's a celebration, i'll do.

What if someone is peer pressuring me? Like, well, i'll do you like. I respect the effort of a good peer pressure. I do to say, after real T, V, and I stop getting paid to, I stopped drinking.

I would basically was like.

there are so many days that their cameras go up and their like, okay, we're having a theme party and you're like, oh my god and I I don't like theme parties and I don't like parties either. I hate a theme party. I hate a group of people that I don't know and you like the last time I blacked out was on A T V.

But if you black out, you have to during the parties. The only way you can get your mike off is if you jump in the pool. So if i'm ever in the pool, that means i'm black out floating around just like finding in the pool just hoping that they don't ask me of a conversation because they'll like hana come up and like fight with this person. I'll be like i'm the paul I can get out, hana. I got big trouble one. So the first thing they say they're like the only rules are like if you're gonna go pool, take off your mike, that's the only rule and they treat us like we're kindergarteners on the summer can they will be like i'll be talking with something like are you going to go the pool and the hana, if you want to go the pool, let us know first you can take off your mind god, are you going to go the pool so they're just dealing with like so then at one point I decided to do like a sprinting cannibal because I love attention and I was like, cause I just I start running. I do, can all I land I get up everyone's looking at me like, I just drowned their baby everyone like, and i'm standing there I like was a bad, was a bad that my guy, how do you guys starts running this up like olympic sprinting towards me, hobs in the pool and like, yanks me out and he like takes IT off me like a puffs leaves and they're like, okay, he's really matter .

you and i'm sorry.

It's a mike pat apparently they're like, really expensive and the mike person, like it's there mikes, oh.

fuck you little piece of so he was like this dumb .

drunk bid and I remember like seeing him the next same building. Sorry, I was a drug and we laugh about IT now. But like, I was never more scared of my life. Whisk deck oh my god.

I hasn't had like, well, I guess i'm trying to think back to like college I feel like was like whisky essential. Have you have ever had like a weird .

experience with with so as an italian, we call IT I and that needs to be Normalized. But you know exactly what i'm talking about. It's I got a little hard. It's a little hard, but your night, it's not good. Okay, you're not going to give a five stars on the op.

I actually hate l dente.

Is that like criminal to the italian people?

Fuck up the post and just go it's and like, no, it's .

same thing. Or just like at the .

macaroni that like you put in the migrate, that's like guys, dick, sometimes yeah yeah the mushing of a guidance deck and tear of vagina. People don't talk about IT enough because then how does IT also feels not good when it's so innocent, but just feels .

like when I used to be fucked up in college and I would like see that he clearly had whiskey and he's like, I got this, I got this. I got this and he's doing the thing yeah there even if I had literally taken a bottles of ticula to the head, there nothing that sobs me up faster. Yeah they mean like you just put IT what the fucker you're doing. And then also that i'm completely sober and I see his little it's just, I think let's give advice to the daddy again the next time that Willy takes your pants off and little Willy is dente is very nice today .

and you want him .

to have a little cream sauce coming out.

These dogs are like cat sometimes where it's like if you want IT to get to come to you like they won't come, you know like, you know, IT is so mental like you're playing these games. You've like not look at and pretend you don't want IT and you know what you you know what I was say because if you like, don't like, don't come you know what happening and you're like are you don't don't ask you about like you have to like, look away and like, don't be intimidating and don't put pressure on him. It's like a whole thing.

If people would wear a shirt that said dicks, you would need merge that say dicks are like cats, or cats are like discs with the fucker. I guess you're kind of right.

We have to Normalize that. Sex is not good a lot of the time. And I love talking to you about IT because I feel like you've shown women that they can have the sex they want to have. But I also know just from numbers, just from grow math, you, with all those good experiences you have, had to have some of the most horrible experiences in bed to get there too.

cana IT. Almost like if you had to count the bad, I would be able to count the good orgasms i've had on my hand over the bad like experience. I guess I would consider up until the age, maybe of until I met mah, and maybe a couple strugglers, bad.

bad. And that is onic for everyone. Notes.

no, interesting. I was doing an episode other day, and I was saying how like at and I go through through periods of like, oh, we haven't had sex a week like and I was like, oh my god, I bet people going to be like freak out to hear that for me because i'm just being honest like, we get so lucky, busy. And even if we're in the same house, we're not travel when the same house, we're so fucking busy. Reality is we go through these lows.

We're like fun. People get too visit to break up. It's very easy to be too busy to have you know that couple of that they are like he has a meeting tomorrow and like i'm going italy and I just don't and then his mom is I just amp.

Birthday up, ready to hear.

Like what does something like only do what of the phone and then like, she's coming.

But talk right. I did anything about that. People have plans that are going to break up and is in the way.

So sex gets not put on the back burner and your show, right? The amount of time that IT has hurt that I have not had an orgasm and I faked IT. The amount of times that they thought they were going to make me score and I was religious.

Bleedin with that later you .

you like .

and then you .

really like blood, like you literally just hire logging ics inside of my mazes.

In college, one of my friend, he was older, was like, sitting on the floor outside the bathroom and doesn't college. And I ent up there was like, where you can she's like, just never do ano and I was like wine she's like, i've been leaking for five hours and to that day i've been scared like, but that's girlhood .

that is like the scene from the fucking ring like the girl disciple .

like her head was was SHE. I can, my body is leaking. Like.

what's coming out?

I know.

Okay, I attempted IT once in the shower.

which I don't know.

don't you sex in the shower period, water is not loop. Water is not loop, but will be bloody. My friend told me, like.

IT is so fucked up.

You tried any in the, I guess I was thinking, like my clean and whatever. IT was so painful. I also want to talk about OK.

There's so many sex things that you try to do that you don't like. Everyone loss half their virginity, right? absolutely. People don't talk about .

the half originally when people because it's the movie like he took my flower no, he literally grades my lip and then I was in pain for my good good tiny .

bit comes out and then you're like. Then he tries to push them more.

Do you like? No, then you like, I gone like.

I do like a whole bit about losing your virginity. Oh, trying to Normalize all the experiences girls have in doing these shows in front thousands of girls and then laughing, tells me, oh, we all like loss of Virginia and then he was like, did you come and you're like, unless the blood everywhere was come, I know IT just happened and I don't wanted do that again and then he's like, always accidentally hit your buddy le during dog and you're like, a boat is go and your pot hole is like, has a reflex of an in jan, we've like.

don't like IT. There's so much stuff.

And I think if I follow the Younger girls, like my cousin was like going after college and I was just like, I just wanted to hold her because everyone has bad experiences. I mean, it's so hard. Remember once there was a guy who was like, so hot because that's the problem. The hot ones does not mean the rest of IT is going to be.

if anything is worse.

If anything, it's worse because girls have not taught them. They're untrained. I remember he was like trying to touch me, and I just wasn't good and I didn't like his vibe and he like, I I get my cigarettes on his bread. I just member be like, oh, I can't tell the cigarettes these body talk about like U I just kind of like cigarettes. I just like you're going and you can chase me around and like the cigarette thing I don't like.

You know, that's just like turning him on .

more that you're being like now this through stroke of them just speak it's i'm a libra, you don't get IT, it's just it's a library. Think like i'm i'm a library. We just say IT like I literally have a bit about that.

I didn't put in the special where i'm like guys hate cats and astrology, so just look at him and be like my cats and me is called and his resume inquiry as we'll be like, okay, never mind. Thank you. Check, please. Ize astrology, get him away from you.

Westernize astrology.

that right? Such IT. No, do IT use on knowledge of what they are afraid of.

We're RAID of getting murdered. Their afraid of astrology. Use your weapon and we write IT on.

go watch.

I have, like now, mother buck, how much doesn't say about our bucking world? We're afraid of getting murdered. And men are afraid of astrology. I want to go fuck my life.

She's she's a leer like I don't trust her. I like I don't just them because many ways.

I am just with you. I missed .

you so much. No, I love you there. Like the call I want to do you love?

No, I, I, my face is hurting.

Quite question what you think about retired athletes.

You're like put them behind the bar, put them behind the bar .

bars or just .

take about to a field that this IT is.

I think that at our age.

we're dealing .

with them now. A I hate to say that I actually think they could be more toxic than the ones in the league.

Yeah, but oh, please extrapolate so.

Give my diagram of me like I am a look in whole part .

of the laser .

check to that comes down.

So here's the thing, although they don't have like that by in them technically as much anymore in terms of like they're on the road theyve got the road beef. Like they are like, oh, my kenza road beef. They now have like less to lose where like a lot of guys, although they're protected sometimes like you.

But would I get instructive than I can play tomorrow? I feel like the retired athletes are now just in this like sedated state of just like entitlement, but no purpose and so they can hone in on you and just be like your my purpose and i'm like, no, no, no, no, get away for me and they become psychotics. I lived across from one.

Can anyone start now? I can't tell the story because he's literally the most elpo on the internet, and he basically was the most psycho person i've ever met my life. And I was like this out, tell you after, but I was more of the area as moments.

However, athletes are here too, because, you know what, i'm in york city. This is actually not that long ago. I was like towards the end of my new york days, and I am hooking up with this hockey player.

At one night, we had followed each other on social media. We met in college a couple times. I D maybe sex penis once that was of IT .

was a pad know this .

was not a pAllanza this dig is so lucky, scary fine for a blow job went. It's either left or right. I can't remember. Okay, so i'm in new ork city. I run into a metal club immediately and like he's one of the hottest st people in the nh make you're so fucker hot. Let's fuck to this. But i'm convinced as a girlfriend and like we isn't your instagram like full of this like girl that is like your girlfriend and he spends the entire night convincing me that they're not together. And I like why I just know athletes .

and athletes going to sales are going to sales after you. So they have become fucking .

coco selling people he i'm like, but any also i'm in IT. I've dated at this before any fucking athlete, the minute you do with someone, you delete all the fucking pictures. You don't need to prove that you have a hot bit on your ARM like you're not a fucking loser like you're good so I get super drunk and then i'm like, you know what, he's so fucking hard. I mean, can you said loud, i'm a trust him oh .

disgusting.

We go back to his place. We started up.

My god.

just do IT. I'm sure she's not your girl anymore. I choose to believe this man.

After like three hours, we go back and his curved penis comes out and we start having sex. And a blow job was one thing, because this mouth can do great things. This curve penis is so large. Anna, I start bleeding. I am in so much pain, and I just kind of stop IT I leave two months later.

he's engaged. How affected? This man explained blood because IT was either a murder or girl out here.

OK you? You wanted a what? Even worse, as i'm deciding to leave, his drunk and friend comes in to tell him that he has to be up for a brand deal the next morning, and the lights are all on as i'm getting my clothes together.

Murder scene by hanna, I thought I was a little bit blood. His shit are just a red everywhere. And now this man is married to this woman. So praying for you, praying for her. Like it's just sad.

That basis of shit? Yes, I did you. There's a thing going around on tiktok. Oh, I want to give her credit.

This guy basically said that he realized, and like, I ve got to tell all the guys that because we didn't know, do you know when girls say I want you to come IT means they want you to stop like they want you to be done like I thought they were into IT. Whenever you go, can you come in me? I want you to come.

Oh my god, can you wear so big? Can you come right now? She's done. She's already thinking about what he is to do that night. She's thinking her choice.

She's in the room.

not and and the guy was like, great men did not know that, unlike you think we will dislike, really like you only make the we're saying we want to stand.

Hanna.

I got .

many in my life. Everyone's done IT.

It's so this I can I start talking in the bedroom because I like dirty talk. We're sweet. The, okay, we've sure to do my emails.

Mom has to work. Okay, mom has plod. Es.

this is so fucking accurate .

and terrify .

and I say your dick is big that means i'm like this.

I'm like, oh my god, you're so big like, come for me, come for me for and literally if and is usually in dogging and when you're in dog, you know if you're face facility, come for me when you're doggy, you're lily, come for me.

come for your faces really like I will murder you. Do you know your sarcastically .

like what you like? Okay, you like that. OK, you're smiling. He's like losing his money.

Like I, can you just hand a good girl?

That girl hood .

is IT hot in here.

No, I just swept with you.

I just a little. T, I get so, T, I, what are you ready? I always sweating. Can I imagine me on my wedding? I was little like.

fuckyou humbles me every day with my sweat and I thank you.

Okay, but you don't get spray tends to you? No, I do. So i'm literally leaking orange .

at all times like a memory of somehow me finding a youtube of you being like bushes. This is how you fucking spray and the best fucking fucking world rope is. And I ark, I was like, take elia beach is.

No.

I don't think people understand. I am nature. Look at my skin and friends.

have you ssed your evolution of beauty here?

No, should be.

I feel like I want to.

Oh my god, I don't even know that.

I feel like it's been like, so subbed with you, but like you're not as long as you were .

pretend .

tonight I go SHE guess you just called me.

paled in my face but I don't think you're .

going as much I and I feel like the .

makeup is more subtle but like was a conscious or you just as you got older you were like, oh, I feel of my face I relate to oh.

I think you I saw you saying something about this on your podcast, on a clip I saw. You know how people are saying, what is IT I blindness and you, like, people are boyfriend blindness. Fact I had, and I probably still do have eyebrow blindness. If you look at pictures of me from college, IT IT started to get scary, like IT was just insane, huge black IT IT was too much, but I do think i've reeled IT in more.

And you you have blond eyebrows, blond. So you like to tinder a little, yes, but the blinds can happen with that.

It's also scary because I look back and like, i'm convinced when I started at barstool, I really lead into the bimbo, like, yes, that like, like iconic, like cover all of us. I photoshop fuck out of IT. And I remember us sitting there together, me being like, oop lip, bigger tips, bigger, like boom, boom, boom.

face to m blinds is such a thing.

He was in tampa back. Me I don't have faced was like using pic monkey. So I was like all my web browser.

I was literally coating and making my little bigger. again. We did not face every horse. I was like to do code, X, Y, Z, lip, bigger, bu, bu.

pm code.

And then when they really, can you send us another version of just is like the original and I was like.

no.

Not only can I not send you the original, I can say that because you like, know the one of you guys, I looked nothing like us. So because of that, I like, I do live up to the thing. So overnight, the fuck out of my lips, I was like doing so much dramatic shit that I was like, I now look back and i'm h my god, I literally looked like a fuck horr.

But you know what? cheers. That made me a lot of money.

Well, I was going to say.

I was gonna say i've learned like the way you present yourself does a flic in this town, it's a thing and that's why we're ties sometimes powful if people like, can you were ties? I'm ternate .

ties the thing are you abololo an way what the .

fact I wear taiwan on gig ly squad and he was mixed reviews she's not in, but I read you .

feel so do you were with H I fully look .

like an eighty salesmen. I were just would like a about and that like I went full like I want to feel like how a guy feels with the tie you feel first of humans wine, you started like many things. You have nobody just like shot up and I said I wasn't listening you speaking.

I feel like it's like a shrill noise so I the tie, like you feel like you a dick because it's like hanging around and you and you like you got you've got to make sure it's not got to keep IT in place. You feel powerful. And I just think a girl that argue with tie.

it's like hot. What do you have to wear culture like a tintop .

with the tie you could take up that is very overall. But like I think of yeah I think you I mean, you know her now you can text her on IT.

If SHE is .

April hanna, watch I here not there was nothing .

funnier in my career, maybe then when I was like, really kind of like maybe pressing a little hard being like, okay, but Melissa and she's like, like do you believe did you start the cony theory? And i'm literally thinking back to my user name like excess atto do that. I was like I was probably .

in those chat.

No, but you were just speaking for the people. In the important thing, I was research a so OK and SHE was fun about IT, yeah. But then you can never win because everyone's comment was like.

that's what Melissa was like, what I feel bad I was like .

and then I love her though she's like that, like the least of my worries. Like if that's the bigger room or about me like that you are dead and then you came back to someone else. You've a body double. I guess I would be kind of cool. I imagine if that was the fucking .

room about you. Honestly, I would barber again.

I shit .

barb really.

and would never do something like that.

Honeywell, ly, please start that bugging rumor. Alice's dead. Someone else came back. Okay.

your x men trying to pick up a penny oh my god, because they're like struggle. How often do you see that? Say we've never seen a penny in the last ten years but like the concept of them like try do with they're .

nobby stupid hand.

Where are the pennies? Like I change .

in a while what that was .

very bridge of you.

You got to change some of them.

Spotify never given me change. Can you pay in corner the next next quarter?

SHE and i'll let this .

nursing there's .

no parties but that .

even quarters but fuck you, have you ever strong?

Just clip that honestly, just clip IT away. My.

is that how to here? That is very rich to me. Go quit. You really want to say you want to see the party in ten years. Fuck you.

Have you ever stolen anything from a hookup? S place? Apartment like a house. Apartment like anything I have.

What did you see? You're like your that friend.

You're like, I, anna, tell you a story. But I am going to ask you worse if, like, I wanted, know what? If you stop airports, I feel like air pod s in the easiest thing to steal because everyone lose the .

airpower s but I have literally unintentionally solan airpower ds before, and i'm like walking through the airport and it's possible to not steal in airpower. But IT cannot. Then IT comes up as there name on your film, like you have jeremy, I like and like .

you or something I don't know. I don't fuck with their podds. I have the old school.

I used dota headphones. Oh, you you don't 听 delt headphone。 That's like I find you the amount of delt. I could we Frankly myself to that with the amount of delhi headphones. I have not IT up in my bag.

I could difficult .

t you small squirl.

We here, I have unsafe dell ter heads .

I have lying around IT would definitely the whole ocean would every fish would die with the man of dead head.

We, we, I feeling the delta header phones kind of like.

don't stay in my ear. You want to check out each other other air can, right?

Honestly, I think i've your wax. Oh, my, got someone.

I don't shower. Now looking to me, your intrust, the courts are so crazy and they're just coming out right now. I'm getting really hot.

So what's starting to get to my house? go. I have a shower in seven days.

A shower. I've been sorted for pennies. I can't find them anywhere. I'm like, I am so rich and .

I have your wax.

I watch when you have your wax will find you yeah.

I don't know to go to no hana when I was in. This is disgusting. It's actually not. This is important when everyone here is that.

do you ever warm in your ear?

I fight with. I would go viral me i'm such a horful views and like, oh god, someone put me in my listened in college I always talk so loud. It's actually not sure. I don't know why i'm going to play in the some eight years I talk to loud but then I was maybe need to get .

like my ears checked and then you thought you were death.

maybe death, you hours. Like it's like you just anyone else because you have ever shut up. Like you're just annoying the doctors. Like just shut the back out so I go and like when we see a little year wax and they do the thing when they like pored in to me, whatever, and it's basically like a honey comb. Looks like I came out of my effect .

and earth as a holy shit that it's .

been in my year getting what's a .

good yes yeah, you call us today. I'm here literally fucking my here.

It's all training. It's all training. And then I could hear like a little Better. But really I was just .

getting because every time I put on, oh, be like a well run in and I so the other day .

i'm doing this prep and this girls like, can I give you these airports? You need to listen and and I am really like, I brought my own and shoes, I C these ones because they're connected to the screen and I really like little more started crying and I really take IT out and i'm like, are you going to like, let me keep these .

it's like once I want lends you you're they're underwear and you're like, i'm kind of spotting .

right now like little like discharge. I don't look.

Just guys.

there be some great we are literally bial but .

I little acute in your ear but I said that, I said we always think but it's not like you're not supposed I Better no.

why I ve been Better and it's going to to be so fucking disgusting and i'm really never gna recover from this. You know what is Better than a fucking q tip?

A faith, alex, I think all girls, I want to to be secret spice. I want us to break into car doors with our gales like one, like I went to. These are too long.

Yeah, this is giving. Like I like, I can't text right now. I met that point. We're like, they've grown out the last amount where I have to. I actually, i've never gotten fake nails before.

Is this as long as you go?

Yeah and SHE put him on. I've never gotten full because I like, I killed the whole family. Yeah, break one.

You're like, yeah, get. And I was like, how do you get them off? And she's like old sole process. You have to like soap for three days, like it's a whole thing get like I don't have time for this.

should cannot I the other week just took a fucking clipper and just clip them all. They were destroyed every day.

I to fight that .

age it's discussing, but I have them out .

anyway if you got any.

to take your dialogues and school at around because the basis you can scoop out because my fear is these or just shoving a deeper in, you've seen those videos hand.

Yes, I have seen those videos. Oh, I remember the ones my favorite moment from color dating. Remember that I was when I said the only way I can orgasm was with my lake straight, and i've never had more of a connection with girls in my life.

I want you to know that I did end up trying that oddly, maybe like a week after we film together. yeah. And I thought of me is, I thought of you on my time shying. I was having an organ.

And I like, hana, you were very well. You got ta clench. You got to class.

I'm afraid to. If I bent my knees, I will for, oh my god.

literally tired by you. You are, hold a dog and you don't start. Yeah, I I guess I can say i've had an orgasm.

I had thought of you. So thank you. What did I feel? How do we get here? Here what I did.

I, I took us off delta, killed their pod. Have I saw him? I was dating this rich guy this point.

He was pissing me off.

I new year when rich shoes account.

did you to say, what if IT when the rich does account like, you know, IT with a big, big box stores about taxes I think about for aling. Well, let me take you the right thought process. So he was sleeping. I drag him, I, the military, and hit. I finally dragged him.

He was out. I am in his apartment, and I start to spiral because i'm like, i'm looking at him breathing and i'm like he's definitely cheating and is definitely we weren't in dating but i'm like he's cheating with other women bolla. So I start to spanning and I can't believe so I start walking around his apartment and then I get this crazy idea and like, fuck him. I'm in a fucking take something from this apartment like fucking .

you because you're a full .

fight with him at this point because I was in my head, he doesn't know he is so I start going round and i'm looking at these relaxes and i'm like, I feel like this is jail because I feel like he, I feel like i'm crazy that, like he would actually call the police on me. And I was like, in college, I like, could not handle that. I was like, I not, I can build myself.

was older, would have taken the role, but I need to finish college first.

I didn't .

want to be in juvie. Can you handle juv my good name?

I'll jube at that point in my life, although a mug shot would be kind of like shei, just figure like what could I get a mug shot for ah way so i'm i'm posing around and i'm passing by the roaches and I finally .

like let you go out you say roches roches watches got IT really .

like I see the role ex and I can't afford this. When they are okay can take that. So looking around, looking around.

And then finally, this is the most petty thing because it's so stupid. And IT might as well have been headphones hana. I find this box that has not been opened and it's a go pro.

And I look at IT and I like H, I pick IT up, I put IT in my purse and I selling my person, my fucking shoulder, and I steal this man's mother fucking go pro. I home myself a cab. I get home and I put the box at my decks and i'm like, huh? There you go, mother fucker.

And I never used the go pro. And I would look at IT. And I I did nothing with that.

I have two things to say. No one ever used the go pro. Second all, if a man has a go pro, that is the biggest eg, i've ever had a men with go pro.

he was an athlete. I like, what is he doing with this co pro? And then I fucked an athlete a couple months later and he had to go pro on this fuck headboard.

And I was like, no .

wait.

that's .

walked. He had a go pro on his fucking headboard. I was literally like that.

You see IT after you like what .

I love IT in the shower I turned go to the government.

嗨， 查理 出来。

说， OK.

if you want to steal something though, that's like, actually, oh, tell them up why his remote here, the devil run is fucking life, ruin that man's life. Just take their mode. And he'll always think he losted in the couch somehow taking someone remote. This is probably .

the minute thing you could .

do a person more time that he has not a text to you. I like me, but just seeking that you can .

be but you just keep taking everything.

something like distracting you from like our connection.

He's like.

I hate you.

You've to say you don't really know a person until you've seen them in a room trying to find their remote. Look, take going a restaurant and seeing how they treat the rather hide their remote and see how they act. That is the real person right there because you've had, don't floating tables you like, okay, I don't want to have a child .

with you in the next is you little just like IT was under your pillow? Here you go. It's really not .

that the ultimate problem is then they can even find the thing that you told them where IT is, but they're running the FBI. But i'm not yes, I think time to solve .

to those issues.

Do you have any excess that like hate you? Do you have any local terms with your x questions?

So my therapies told me that i'm a little like I don't talk to any of my access. Accept british, stevie. I love british dave. Shelter, bridge save in an Angel so q and then there's some who I know don't have good boundaries, so I blocked them and one blocked me because um his bitch. I mean, man who blocked you, that's an egg. It's so because I didn't even do anything him and i'm like, oh, my in many weeks if I check and he still has me locked and i'll be like she's still that going. She's that .

girl that literally crame I like if I .

was the person he's with right now and I I knew my husband had a girl blocked, I would be jealous. I'd be like.

what's wrong if you are blocked? He's in love .

with but then I had to blob on tiktok so he'd have to blogger or digit.

He's leally going to everything now is a block bucking that does .

the thing I joke about. I don't care what hard times you go too, because I actually this particular man had did stuff that like he tried to hurt my career, which that's when I don't like with that then I was like, I didn't even want an efflux special but now I have do my friends with joke i'd been remind doing like ten shows i'm dying and they're like, is IT worth IT and i'm like, it's fucked and worth so I don't the thing is, sometimes you get this motivation from anger so good, but the best parties, when you get to the point that you forgot why you're even mad at them and then people are like, this is your time like, go on color daddy. Drop the name, call them out to show the recedes. You don't care anymore.

You're really like I have a netflix special who .

is he again when you literally forget and that's called healing.

It's not .

only not fully held close the healing.

but think of him getting the email you want to read up your netflix subscription and he goes in to rep. IT in your fucking face. No.

that's the aga moment. Like anywhere you go, you you have to see me.

Do you think any of them would label you a psycho? X.

that's so funny. The most psycho thing about me is that I avoid confrontation. So i've had so many relationships that had zero fighting, and then one day I would just call them, because I had to talk with my mom and i'll listen to anything.

This Angel bitch says. One of my worst relationships that, like on paper, like everyone, was like, this is the greatest thing for you and one day I just poured my heart out to her being like, I don't feel good about myself. He's never left.

At one thing I said, he was walked in front of me, but like five feet, like he controlled everything, like when I got to see him, all that stuff. And I was Young. I was like twenty six.

He was older. And SHE goes, you're not going to his apartment and this is like two days ago. She's like, he's the best SHE goes, you're calling the park up, calling the phone, calling up. You think you're picking the phone to call. You're calling your phone pick up. You're picking up the road to call and SHE goes waking up with him and I was like, I was like and he goes, i'm sitting with you over there right now and I called him and I said, like, I wanted and in he's like, what you talking about and I was like, okay, like I wanted, I can't do this anymore and then another guy was really fucked .

a mind fuck another .

guy which was so fucked up. He was so sweet, so nice. And my, I was like, twenty three to five four and my mom was just like, hanny.

He's not IT. And like, I really liked him. He was so nice.

But like, I knew deep down that he was he wasn't the one who want to marry, but he so nice. I go just so and like, he was great. My mom was like, and SHE was like, handed.

You're wasting time. Like, just get out of IT. We have no issues. I call him was like, I think was in person I was like, we have because once I decide i'm out so like we have to break up and he just look at me as assess thing ever he goes so I can we talked you tomorrow and I member just being like, i'm sorry, like my mom's a savage and i'm so scared of her and he wants the best for me and he knows big picture and I can't waste my time with you because you're kind of .

a loser and not you we break up your mom and I you can talk to the you can like.

but she's over. But then i've had times where SHE one guy he liked that I want to break up with. I waited for her to go on vacation, and I broke up with him when he was on vacation because I wanted to enjoy her vacation comes back and I broke up with him. He was like.

I hope so. I think that's like the the most fund thing with like I was with my bomb too was like Lorry has lived all of my relationships like when I just said an episode, this athlete SHE was like, oh my gosh, but you didn't tell the story of this and this is, she's like, my mom little goes, you should make IT a whole summer series that you do all these stories about him I like, mom, we're trying to make get soon mom also like, I married mom, calm down she's like, but I wrote them all down. I have IT in my notebook from your colleges when you would call me. I knew you would need .

these stories one time like one fucked up of thing. If my mom doesn't want to fucked him, I don't want to be with him. And I hate to say that, but it's so true.

If your mom is like, he's nice, no, I want my mom to be flute with him. I want to see that he gets excited when this man walks in the room, and that is so disgusting and sick. But my mom is not in listening.

Be like, yeah, I want my daughter to be with a fucking and hot like, because mom, my mom, I am very independent. We could get up a men in our life. They need to be an asset and good .

to look at bird. And then I do like.

I tell my mom everything .

too and I posted, I so excited go college today and I was like, guys, but i'm going to big pack cast. Which one do you think IT is? And I put like, the little thing can come and I grow in my mom goes, color red daddy.

he knows I don't like you like, I was just you SHE would got excited. No, SHE, she's that girl.

I'm obsessed .

with your mom and i'm just obsess. I think it's really nice to be able to like you rely on your mom and that also blame your mom for everything.

Well, there was was a Julia drive us. Lewis, sorry, so many names. Yes, yes, yes. I think someone, I think IT was her, give a speech which was just like, can we listen to older women? Like older women know so much and everything. So it's like you have this asset that is your mother came out of her user and ask a ten of questions and yes, I know some moms like, you know it's not always joy and then I said out.

I sew out if she's a fucking nice like literally nurses' excise. Can I speak as we go? You're like, I want to pick up him and call the phone.

It's really so hard. You knew what I was going to say, no, you knew what I was say.

hi sal.

anyway so yeah, that's my problem. And I think some guys have been probably little confused. But i've never, i've never pulled like a crazy moment, like I have so much pride and I could be insecurity where, like, I never want people to think that I that's what like things in my past of annoying for people like she's obsessed, whatever, whatever. Like I I am never put myself in a position because I am pride ful and insecure. So like when people, guys in the public, I like them and is never made me love, he's like a noise, the fuck out of me and like, I just want to have fun .

but is nobody I hate IT the double center of like a man can say that stuff and then people will, then other women will agree with man would be like, you're so right and then if a girl just goes right back out, the guy, people like, she's such a bitch like, yeah, I why don't we game up on the man, you fucking horse like what everything too.

where some guys would like, they would like my attention or they like my conversation or something. And that's like the most valuable thing to me, where it's like i'd rather I just fuck and me like have a fun story than you consuming my life, calling me eight times a day and then like men or night, your friends. I have hilarious, beautiful people in my life, a man whose hot with no personality is not your friend and .

never will be and published.

Be a boy for either. No.

there are too hot there.

scary? No, they are so scary.

Legal, really scary. Let's talk about this special.

Okay, by bert.

I R A. You need to explain to me, how did this come to be? Tell me everything .

I do have to say from doing a reality show. You can sometimes you feel larger than life if you feel like you're the course person ever. You're funny, your perfect, everyone loves you, which is like also not true.

Or you can feel like they put mud on you and everyone just sees you with the stuff. I knew you're trying to shower IT off and you feel misunderstood. And feeling misunderstood was like my biggest fear.

And the universe was like, let's do IT to you. And I wasn't definitely a place, but I was in a dark place, but I never felt stuck. I just was like, okay, we gotta pip IT. We gotta pip IT.

I was in this like, where's the next thing? And tiktok was this new crowd where, like, people to know who I was, and I got to, just like therapeutically, I would go on stage after real TV. And I would, in my head, be like, I hope these people don't hate me. And I was, but I had this drive to show them like, I want them to, at least not like me, because they don't like my comedy, which is such a, like, uh, more peaceful perspective.

My art, you like the art .

and like cool, were expressing our s and and I needed to get Better. And when I was on stage, fucked up at my mind and is very, doesn't shot up. So when I was on stage, IT was the only time that I wasn't repeating or trying to figure out like my past.

So I got to be present in that moment telling my eef jokes. But I was, I was like my safe space. And then comics was this crew of people who made me feel so much Better about myself.

They were like dying laughing at the show, was going through with reality. T. V.

Like they were. I was telling them these stories. They were like, I would have burn the house down, I would.

And they maybe feel a little more seen where you can feel in the wrong crowd. You really do feel like you're losing your your mind. And that's what the point is all the time.

So I I start to get this. I almost feel like hawk girls don't traditionally go, let's do stand up comedy tonight, or let's go to stand up comedy clubs, you go to your boyfriend. But I was able to kind of cultivate this allegorist m of like unbias, but like hot, successful, funny women who wanted to laugh and felt safe in their bedroom, laughing at comedy.

And then with giggly squad and getting the girls to come out to the show, I was like, oh my god, we have this like group of women coming out to comedy shows, loving stand up and allowed them as their first ever shows. And he was powerful. And because I was selling tickets, I didn't have to wait till I get chosen to beyond line ups and stuff.

And I was like, producing my own shows. And then I started doing hand on the street where I was making friends with all these comics. And then the comedy community started embracing me in a way where I was just like, either like me, dona, I don't care.

Like, I need you'd except me, but like, because I came in with some of some followers and some comics would be like, SHE didn't bomb in enough basements but i'm like, I wanted build you. I wanted to be like Chelsea handler where I I bring people that are talented around me no matter how many followers you have, I fuck with you if you're like a nice person. He's talented and it's against selfish of me. Had to be like I I wanted before you go famous. I'm gonna put you on.

No, but I think it's like you recognize people that you fuck with. And I feel like sometimes you're right. People will be like, I am too big for that like they make they make IT and then i'll give them acknowledged where you're like I felt like that person I didn't have that and I wish someone would recognized how talented I was and up and threatened, but like.

helped lift me up yeah. And then I just continued touring. I continued touring.

Get on the road, be with my girls, work on the jokes, work on the jokes, work on the jokes. And then variety kind of noticed me. I was like, she's definitely should going on.

And we get a call from netlik. My god. Now the crazy thing about this call is my agents, like netflix, wants to do a special with you. I am freaking out like, I have a video of me like I was like shaking. I go to other room and I like death going out like special.

He looks at me, no smile, and he goes, yeah, you're not shoot in that and I was like, i'm sorry, isn't this like the goal and he goes, you have nine more months of touring and you're gona do those in nine more months because your bits are gonna be tagged up in that much Better at the end of and you tell them you'll shoot IT the latest, you can possibly shoot IT. So like he's immediate, he's a protector, of course and he has done his own career where he's like you don't rushing into a special but like, I love this material so much and i'm so happy that I basically told netflix, like, in a year old, i'll do IT. So they were like, why? And I was just like, I think I could make IT even Better, even though they liked IT at the time.

Like, so I like I SAT on that should like and I wasn't I didn't even tell page for like a month much because I have an I because I just wanted to sit in IT. But I was such a great moment of lake. It's not about the special it's not about cloud. It's about like putting out something you're proud, right?

I thank you for sharing that because IT makes IT even cool. Now like I can't wait to watch IT. I was a little.

Can I get a screener? They're like, no. And I was like.

we were actually doing color corrections still.

I would like, can I watch IT? I like, no.

And I was like, no.

OK fine. I'll watch you with every time I think i'm going to like, have wine mati MIT down. I'm going to be sending new pictures. I'm going to watch IT. I'm so I excited, but I truly am so proud of you.

Like, I feel like when I met you, I was like, oh my god, this is someone I could have been friends with my whole life, like having been athlete. It's like. Knowing the fucking trauma that you have from being an athlete, knowing the type of person that just like build you into and you're like so competitive with yourself. And I think sometimes for especially women in sports, I feel like decades misconstrued and we've dealt with like being are worse critics.

So I think we fight similar battles. I think that's why when we message each other, it's like are you .

doing against your deals you lose? If you go through all of our messages, we are only taxing each other like check ins. We're like, I just saw this, how you doing?

I'm so proud of you, proud of you. You good. Kay, talk in a couple of times.

You like, we're like. You good. And then we're like, you ready to come on the pod.

You, okay, okay. You're wearing George, amazing midlife crisis q IT. Now for hope. I just am so excited for people to watch this.

And I feel like you from what I met you to now was what I was saying is like you were so funny back then. But we both were insecure. And of course, we're both sill insecure in some capacity.

But like I can't wait to watch the special because you are so much more yourself now than when I met you. You we were both going through IT. Not that we warn ourselves but like you, you're leading with like you're so fucking talented you are like anyone I talk to about you recently are like, oh my god, fucking hand and burner. She's light out like, I can't wait to see the special like you are just .

I get I feel like i'm living in a dream. I feel like I I redid the last pod with page and I fell asleep and then I have a dream that you are a els like good. I'm turning into my dad.

He loves quotes and he was IT basically is like, what if your biggest dreams came true? And I think you are a good um example of that because you showing that because this can lone sometimes to the top and you showing that a girl could get a lot of attention and run a full company like it's paving the way for other people to be like that dream is not too scary. And I do feel like with this special, I really hope that more girls are gonna like, i'm just like hanna and I tell me with my friends weight, I like, like fuck with this.

I wanted to stand up because I have this conspiracy that like women are made for stand up, where gossipers we complain, we overanalyzed like that is what stand up is. So I just like disrupting male spaces and making men upset. And I think we write IT down.

We write IT on last question, hana, how are you gonna feel if your netflix special is potentially in the background of some netflix and chill sessions and people are fucking to your special? Oh, have you thought about that, that it's gonna so awkward?

Because i'll literally be talking about how hard that is to ride a guy while you're riding a guy. And I don't know how you cover from that or like how like you're holding in your heart when you're cuddling and it's like you haven't had a far all day. And suddenly the second is dicks on your bot. You're like, I have the biggest gas .

bubble i've ever had. They're going to be not watching and in the words and you're hold in your far and the girls like shut the fuck up in and IT and I wouldn't creek and she's like, oh my god, maybe washed with your girl.

but I think you're boyfriends and the men in your life should watch because this quite educational.

It's very educational. It's for everyone we write IT down. Hanna, I could sit here and talk you for seventy more hours.

Thank you for also being so good at interviewing because you make me look good.

but you look .

which be difficult.

short.

You you turn the page. I like people gonna serious when I torts or that they should be like, you fucking disrespectful kind.

But you guys have, it's good. You both have. You're different.

It's, I love, I like. You're different, anna. It's just because you're different.

I love you. Thank you so much for coming in color dating. This was everything and more. I love you. This may be in our best work yet.

No, I think IT is. I love you.