Does My Boyfriend Hate Me?
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Hello, daddy gay, welcome back to another episode of call her daddy. This is a sunday session so it's just a solo with me and you I always forget like these get released on sunday. Obviously I record them like before sunday and you know i'm in the dd of my work week right now, you know so I don't have scaries, but sometimes I forget that you could potentially be opening your eyes and clicking on this episode to really help you get through one of the worst decisions possibly you ever mean your life. Like, I don't know, maybe you were tits out, tidy up, pull index out of the bar last night.

Maybe you were taking so many shots in new taxi drax maybe got into a fight with your boyfriend, your best friend, who fuck in nose, and maybe you woke up with your pants off and your vibrator dux to heal. And you're like, who was I master waiting to last night? Regardless of what happened, I am here to tell you, IT is not that deep.

Everything is temporary and everything can be fixed. Actually, I just thought of a story that can make you feel little bit yourself sunday morning. Fact, this cow, and do to do to do to every 3 days for this day。 That was pretty good, right?

I think I was like two weeks ago, matt and I decided to take a bunch of our executives out to drinks. We have our company is growing so much, which is so exciting, and we now have all these executives that are overlooking certain aspects of our company, right? So we have had a finance we have had of unscripted television.

We have had a script to television. We have had of film. It's growing. It's crazy to think about.

And so we were looking to why don't we take the executives out and really do something like company bonding? So we are out of these drink, studdy gin, and everyone is like excited because it's such like youthful energy at our company and everyone is new and excited to inner mingle. And we've all been like at the officers working and so we don't get to socialize much.

And so everyone's kind of like leaning into drinking and i'm getting so excited. And I have one margarita with the girls. We're all chatting and we're talking, we're talking.

And then i've another margarita, then i've another margret, and i'm with matter. He's driving. And I had a long week because at that point I had two interviews in one week and then I had a bunch of, like, unscripted meetings.

Whatever was like, I was, I was in back, back, meaning. So I was like, I haven't had a fucking cocktail in a minute. Let's go. And so slowly I have gotten very good.

I will say this that, like, I can now handle my alcohol like if I in a professional setting, like you probably wouldn't know i'm drunk and that is not always how I used to be like this years and years and years of practice. Okay, starting drinking in high school does have its perks. Please don't start drinking in high school the fact that i'm like, i'm not condoning that, but i'm just think for me, for me maybe not for you, but for me.

I now look back on my thing. God had a couple cocktails and back in high school because IT really gave me that longer run way to just like fuck up so many times that by the time that i'm now in my twice ever i'm out, I realized like i've gotten pretty good at like masking that i'm drunk, right? And so no one at my company probably knows that i'm drunk.

And I actually think i've asking, and like, did you guys know that I was like wu and they were like, not a clue. Like I also went home and I woke up at the hang up, whatever. So I get home that night and I go on tiktok while mats in the shower, and I am pretty fucked and drunk.

okay? And I decide to asm sweeping. I see this beautiful Young woman who is playing the guitar and SHE is singing a cover I think of like a marine mora song, or like some country song.

okay? And I am like, oh my god, lix, this is beautiful, this is touching. And i'm watching her strong, her guitar.

This does not have a sexual ending. I don't know why. IT seems like i'm like. And then I take on my vibrator and sort master beating to this woman.

No, I start to get this idea and i'm watching this woman stream the guitar, strum the guitar and saying, and i'm like, what if I just learned how to play the guitar and what if I just in moments on the show when i'm joking, singing like at this point, if you're og, you can kind of tell, like I like to double with singing and like the only time I think I have a good voice though is when i'm like imitating someone like I don't think alex Cooper, Young buck from pennsylvania has a good voice but when someone's like u give us a little like shaka i'm like they are not upon tonight my hip don't like and i'm go real slow no Chelsea but there is a little perfect or Christinia agila. You like I can I have something okay, you're all like that was actually really fortune, just believe me. Okay, so I have this vision that like one day, like i'm just gonna start fucking singing career IT trust me, i'm not that illusion.

I know that's not going to happen, but I thought, what if in moments where I jokingly wanted sing on the, or even more importantly, if I have fucking kids one day, like, what if I just learned how to play the guitar or the piano so that I could sing acoustic and I could just go for IT? So i'm like, it's immediate. I need to have a conversation with someone.

And since mats in the shower and i'm too easy to get up so he can hear me, I turned back to my phone and I text my assistant and I text her, god knows what, okay, text her. And in the morning I wake up and that's like, god, you were like, really, on one last night. And i'm like, what he mean? Like what? What did I do and he's like, you don't remember like what you were saying.

I like I I think like what what are you talking about? You know when you're like, I don't know what did what what did I do? And he's like your entire like tire that you went on for your singing career and like I told you not to text your assistant OK daddy ing, I opened my phone.

And like, what did I text my fucking assistant who recently, like, just started and we're now comfortable. But like, you know, like this is my first like embarrassing thing that I did with her. I opened my phone and I texted my assistant, maybe like ten different singular tax being like, hey, I really need you write something down so you remember to do this for me tomorrow. tomorrow.

Can you look into someone that could come to my house and teach me how to play guitar? Also, can you get me a guitar tomorrow? And SHE responds, it's like eleven o'clock at night and she's like for sure alex, like, do you want like a an acoustic guitar? You looking for electric base? And like we probably should secure a fuck in electric guitar and maybe also just like a regular acoustic itar.

So I have options because I don't know where my fucking and talents are gonna me and she's like, i'm on IT and i'm like, I really need this to happen also maybe wish get me singing lessons and I keep texting her about my fucking endeavors of what I want to be and what I want to do. And this poor girl, the next morning, he always sends me like a list of things that she's going to send me the morning and she's like, and I also, she's like, i'll also look into getting you a guitar teacher and did you want me to buy a piano or was that like, are we just going really like, oh, my fucking god like my assistant thinking that i'm this delusional. It's setting me back and i'm sure she's watching this like, high livia, you know what else is happening in my life? Oh my god, my dentist ghosted me, shout, if you're watching this, i'd still don't know what's happened to the day. Okay, so daddy, in in two days ago, I was going to the dentist.

I have been putting IT off because I hate going to the mother fucking dentist because it's worse than getting in trouble when you're Young like having a grown woman just like open my mouth and basically just like talk to me for forty minutes about how i'm not flossing enough and how like my teeth are rotting off and like I just want to go home and cry IT feels like you start your new year's resolution every time you leave the dentist because you're like I will start floating my teeth every fucking night and at last, what actually does not even last for a day because by the time I get at home and I am supposed to floss that night, I can't because this mother fuck er fucked my gum so hard that I like all started at the next night and then I never started and then I never fuck floss and then six months goes by and then my dentist cells at me again. So anyway, so I knew for my last dentist appointment that I had a potential cavity. And you know that's just like a looming it's almost like an S T D.

Yes, okay, i'm sorry. I don't conduit sd s, but I will say I would commedia I would rather have climatic a than in cavity because they hurt singing of the cavity where climate as you like, oh, pop A P it's going to like the common cold, you don't mean so anyways, I didn't have climbed a think, got a married fuck you out if you ever give me climate's. Um I had a cave dian, so I was kind of putting them off.

But then I like a new this summer that i'm gonna having to travel up for work. So I was like, why don't we just go and get this thing done? And so finally, I schedule an hour and half out of my day to go to the dentist.

I just feel like work has just been a mother fucker lately that like me going off the grade four hour a half, like i've got a lot of employs, I got a lot of people calling me and i'm like, okay, I officially am doing IT everyone leave me alone for now and half I have to go get my shit fucking opened up and I show up to the dentist. Okay, and i'm already stressed some like oil, let's get in. Let's get out.

I'm on time. I take pride in being on time. IT gives me anxiety when i'm not on time, especially being talent.

I feel like sometimes when like people like if i'm going to a photo shooter, anything i'm like if i'm not on time, I just think it's sets about example because then people are going to think i'm like one of those people that's just like a fucking piece of shit that doesn't respect other people's times. Absolutely not. We're fucking here.

We're here to work. Same thing with the dentist. okay? I knew you're going to fuck my set up, but i'm going to respect to you and i'm going to be here on time.

Thank you. So I show up and I go to open the door and i'm like, what the fuck the door isn't working. And to give you guys context, like my dentist is not in its just like its own building.

Like I had to go to the next floor and then you go into a sweet okay, so like i'm i'm up the elevator. I'm in this area and i'm like trying to get into the sweet and i'm like, I can get into the fuck sweet. And so I do the natural thing you would do and I just start knocking on the door.

But for context, my dentist, like a big dentist where there's like a big lobby and there's people walking around. I can't get I can't even get in the door. I and I hear people behind the door. So i'm like, knock, knock, knock, bitch, cavity bitches here, let's fill this mother fucker. No one is answering.

I stand outside of the store for fifteen minutes on and off, like knocking on the door and then i'm feeling so awww, because these people that are going into different sweets are walking by me like, why is this fucking bit like stocking outside of here? Like literally knocking on the door and I just keep knocking. I keep knocking.

And then finally I call my assistant and i'm a cake. I don't have the number of this place. Do you mind calling them? I'm knocking.

You call. Let's infiltrate from both sides. Like, can you help me grow out? And she's, I got you, I got you so SHE calls me and she's like olympic.

I just called the front desk. There are there and they were like, can we put you on hold? And I was like, no, there someone outside of the door.

Can you go open the door? They put her on hold and then they hang up. Now this is where I will just give you little inside into having a podcast all like, it's almost like clock work. When someone like doesn't like shunts me a little bit is like not treating me right, I immediately start going through my brain and racking my brain with like, did I podcast about them?

Did I podcast about them because i'm not kidding you eye at times where i've showed up places and i'm like, fuck my shit i've definitely podcasting about this person and they probably fucking hate me and so i'm like, have you ever talked of, my god am dentist I mean, we've got to be loaned mother fuck content if i'm talking about of my dentist but here I am talking short of my dentist you know, I love my but so you guys, I stand outside for twenty minutes, knock, knock, knock, passing, knock, knock, knock I try to rattle the door open no one answers me and I hear people inside and there are just not letting into my fucking dentist so I eventually decide, hey, it's now been twenty five minutes um I got ta get back to work so I just leave and so I currently sit here before you as a father with still cavity that has not been filled and i'm about to have to go on many different trips for work that I guess I will just have a cavity that is slowly building and building and building. Oh also let's talk about this. I don't know any people that have um our home owners here, but something I realized that's not fun about being a home owner is hosting I am the type of host that like fend for your fucking self.

Obviously i'm going to put out some fucking plates with sandwich es and ship. But like I feel like when you're a host like the coziness of hosting, and i've talked about this before, is like that like I can run back upstairs if I need to take a shader like, oh, if it's chilly outside like I have my closet upstair and no one else has their closet up stares, you know. But I feel like math is such a great host that like he really takes pride, which is not a bad thing.

I'm just like a lazy piece of shit and I need to get Better at IT. But something I realized was like I was worried and like, is is just mad and he's just like a great host fer parties. So the other week on father's day, we went to math brother's house, and our whole family was there, and they were hosting this barbecue.

And we finally SAT down to have father's day meal. And we'd cook this beautiful meal. And there's music playing, and everyone is eating. And I look up, and I look at maths brother and my sister in law, and I realize that the two of them are huddled over the stove, that they were cooking these like sausages and burgers on.

And they are eating on like the side panels of the fucking stove outside of the girl, the grill, the stove, the stove, the girl l is a girl, is a girl. You're a girl. I'm a shove. The girl they were, the girl is outside.

Is that also whatever the fuck the girl is outside? And there's those two panels on the outsides of IT you that you can put like your fuck and spatula and they're both huddled over eating their fucking food. And I turned and i'm like, oh my god, hosting is miserable.

Wait, like and I literally said to them, and like, you guys sit down that there's two open seats and they couldn't IT down because they were hosting because they were a busy. They're making everyone had everything that they needed. But I think what i'm realizing is hosting is almost like weddings.

Stay with me here, okay? I think that when we're hosting, unless you just have assets at you're fucking house, when you're hosting, you want to make sure that everyone is having an amazing time. But the honest truth is like unless someone is so high maintenance, I feel like the the fact is no one actually fucking needs the host to really where's the catch up.

I'll walk and use my legs to go into kitchen and figure out where the catchup is. But the host, obviously you're doing an amazing thing like I love how i'm sitting on host, host are doing a great thing. The problem is I wish could tell all the hosts are around the world, including myself.

Like relax, actually not myself. I am to relax when people are coming over. I want to tell map, relax, look like we didn't even need them to be doing all that they were doing IT.

It's like when you have a wedding and you think that everyone is thinking about all these details, no one is a fuck when they are at your wedding as long as there is good cocktails and and I say good cockles, as long as there is alcohol OK, I would actually say my biggest piece of advice out of wedding is always make sure there is more than one bar. There's more than one bar. That's all I would say.

okay. Other than that, you're good. You could have your wedding in your backyard, have two bars even if there's twenty fucking people there, okay? Because as long as people have their drinks that they don't even give fuck about the food, who expects good food at fucking wedding, right? As long as there is alcohol flowing, people are happy.

And so I guess what i'm trying to get out is like, yeah, I don't know that I get right to me, but if you have any tips for me and hosting, I just feel like sometimes i'm like I I don't feel like i'm being an asal. I actually feel like i'm i'm almost like enabling our guests to use their have autonomy over their own experience like i'm a and you can figure out where the catchup is. You know like if you won't catch up on your fucking and rice and we don't have catch about, I bet they know where IT is.

What the fuck was a point of that? Oh yeah, I hate hosting, but i'm getting Better. And I feel like I need to bring that a little bit more on my side of the hosting game to be like maybe you can relax and we don't need to.

Who's calling me matt? Hi my love. I'm in the middle of recording.

Can I call you back? I'm so sorry. Are you OK OK okay. Love you by. It's like matt has like that little six cents.

You know, you know when ax is always know when you've moved on in the text too. It's like matt knows when i'm recording any fucking calls me all the time. He, low key, wants to be the next co host of call herdal.

I, okay, he is interested in the slaw. You guys, he will never fucking come on the show. I think that of IT, should we do some questions to do little.

I have to acknowledge that last week, let me, let me to claim a little rumor that I saw on the fuck in internet. Kk, last week I was reading from my ipad all of your questions. Kay, trying to do the lords work, and I happened to be holding my ipad upside down.

And IT seems like the only thing that the people on the internet could fox on as the fact that my fucking ipad is upside down. Now, if you are, you know, someone that uses technology, you know, daddy gang, that the ipad can just flip upside down. And even if IT subside down, the document will be upright.

So don't worry. I I think people thought like I was just like making these questions up maybe and like not actually reading. Oh, i've got your questions right here, you little shit.

Okay, first question. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year, but he has never officially posted me on social media. He rarely used a social media and hasn't posted on ig in about five years. Sometimes I get frustrated because I don't see the issue with posting to me, but he says he doesn't want his life on the internet. He takes me around to all of his friends and family.

So it's not like i'm a secret, but am I wrong for being frustrated about this? It's like this is like a very common topic that no matter how many times you talk about IT, like IT always needs to be talked about because social media is so prevalent in our lives, right? And so to say like, oh, who cares? Like I don't want to discredit your feelings because my first point I would say is like you shouldn't feel rejected or upset or like he's hiding you because at the end of the day, he's basically acknowledged like he doesn't post.

If he was post constantly and he was saying he doesn't want his life on the internet, then that's a contradiction, right? Then you could be like, but you post, you just don't want your relationship on the internet, but that just feels kind of like you're being deceitful because i'm a part of your life. And if you're posting your life, then why arent you posting a big part of your life, which is me? I remember when I met that, and I felt like something that was so attractive about him was his lack of social media presence.

And math is a pretty private person. And he was like, totally fine with what I do for a living. But he was just like, let's just like always communicate if you're gonna talk about me on the show, or if we're gna be like posting anything about me, like just run up by me.

And now that we're married, his, like, I don't cking care. Let help break loose. But in the beginning, IT like mental lot to me, that like, he does not post on social media that does not have a social media presence, but he has an instagram.

And I worry for you that this is not something that, like, I think what I learned and therapy, as if something is upsetting you. It's usually not just the one thing IT is based off of other things, right? So like your saying, he brings you around to his friends and family a lot. Okay, so maybe you could potentially be reading too much to online social media couples, right? Like maybe a lot of your friends post their partners until maybe you're comparing yourself.

But like, I feel like sometimes the social media is like, what is your parameter of? Like, what would make you happy, right? And like why would you make you super happy to post him to post you like is that because you're worried about women thinking he's single is IT because you feel like you want the world to know that you're dating because it's like a pride thing?

Like and i'm not judging you for any of these, I think that's like totally understandable, but I think you have to get to the root of why you want him to post you so badly. A lot of times when where we feel like we need to post on social media because we want to prove something and I still struggled that every single fucking day i'm like u like I was doing something so interesting, but no one knows I did that. Should I posted that and it's like I think that we need to get Better, daddy, of just like trying to not be so set in stone that the only way to validate our life and our experiences is to get validation online.

And if you are happy in your romantic relationship, if he is treating you right, if you guys have this great relationship, and the only thing is he just doesn't post your own social media, but he doesn't post regardless, I think you could say to him, maybe like, hey, because you're public. And like, because i've posted you. Like, do you mind just growing up one picture? Because, like, I don't know, I almost like worried.

Like, will people think that? Like, but then again, there is your answer. Like will people think so is that you're worried that people think that like he's not proud of your relation, you know I mean, and I think that you could almost bring this up to him. Listen, I don't have the answer as is obviously going to be a lot of things that come with your questioning of him but like my advice is always if you can bring this up and really like mature way and just like, hey, I know that i've come to you before and i've said that i'm upset that you don't focus me on social media and honestly, I can assume like that came off just like kind of just like image and off putting up like why do I care and I think when I get underneath that, I feel like because i've posted you and then people naturally go to your page.

There is just this annoying like societal agreement that everyone kind of knows like if he doesn't post you but you're posting him IT looks like your desperately IT looks like you're more obsess with him like there is that and that is no matter what we can spend in whatever way of don't live your life on social media, like a lot of the things that we do and how were affected come from social media like our friend group and our family and everything. So I wanna validate you. And like as much as I wish I could tell you, like fucked IT, it's okay that he doesn't post you on social media.

That may be true and that may be actually genuinely true to him. He may genuinely be such a good person and love you so much. And he generally may really, really want that privacy and not give a fuck about social media. But IT also could be true that you can feel your friends and family and like everyone kind of judging and like wondering, like our things you good at home, or like whatever IT is like, I get that.

And so I think if you can haven't open on this conversation with him just about like how IT makes you feel and almost how like it's embarrassing like I hate that i'm even having to talk about this but like IT does affect our life and like could you just put one picture up? Just one picture and I never will ask you IT again. But just when people go to your page, they know you're in a relationship that's IT.

I think that's a fair ask. And if he's that that private about his life that I would say, okay, then would you then delete your instagram? You know what I mean, like now i'm getting toxic.

And like if you will post me that you obviously have to delete, you're putting instagram because what are the other options? But I don't know. I think it's a really tough topic and I feel like each relationship you probably deal with this like I think sometimes when like people are like get over IT like IT doesn't matter.

Like well, IT does matter because whether we like IT or not, social does have some form of like social and like currency in our life. Like we see things, we are judging people we are keeping up with. People were learning about people as much as we hate IT.

If you decide to be on IT, like you are somewhat playing into this game of like this voyage tic experience. And so there may be people, yes, judging you. And then you also just have to recognize if he says, no, what does that can do to you because he he may still say, like, I can have an instagram.

I like, like to follow my friends. I just don't wana post my life. You could then maybe ask him, like if he would feel free to, like, then archive all of his photos.

Like if he's that private and he can't post you, then wire things from his past still up, you know, I mean, really, I just sit a whole fucking episode on that cheese's Crystal. Um okay, hey daddy, I have been seeing this guy for about six months now. Everything has been going great.

He treats me well, takes me on dates and even took me on a weekend vacation. Suddenly, he told me that he's not ready for a committed relationship and needs some space to work on himself before he can commit to me a hundred percent. He also told me that if I find someone else during our time apart, not to let him be the reason I don't pursue IT.

Now, as far as I know, we were exclusive and he wasn't hooking up with anyone else, but this is really throwing me off. Is he being genuine or is he just an assemble that strung me along for six months? Yeah, he's over.

IT. It's over. That's fuck and shit. I'm so sorry. Here's the thing. There's something in this that makes me know exactly when IT ended and how it's definitely over and that is that he said, if you find someone else while you're giving me space, don't let that hold you back for moving on. Yeah he's basically actually like saying, please move on and that is fucking awful and you know what just sucks is like I just wish people would have the fucking balls to be more direct like be a man and man up and say, listen, I know we've been talking for six months. I think you're great, and I really have had an amazing time with you, but I don't want to waste either of our time.

And if i'm being honest with you, I have been reflecting lately and I just don't think this is the right relationship for me and you did nothing wrong or maybe if you did something wrong, you can tell you, but like it's just something that like I have been thinking about lately and i'm really sorry, but I don't anna waste your time. You're such an amazing person and i'm release sorry if this is hurtful, but like, I think it's time to end things like as harsh as IT can be to hear those words that someone is like. Yeah, i'm not by being with you, it's more annoying to have to a ob excuse the shit.

And they they called on just a equal b. Is he being serious? Like, or he's telling me that he wants to break. But like, is he going to come back and i'd like him like that's so shit and that's so shit that you have to be the person that is like trying to figure out how he feels.

Why can't he just fucking tell you? And that just annoyed me because i've been in that situation before where it's like, just be fucking honest, i'm a ground woman. I can handle IT and I think that would just be easier if people are more direct. But it's like people get so freaked out. The problem is is he either has just spent whatever in his life, has LED him to be someone that is like skirting around, beating around the bush, srs, beating around the bush, beating around the bush.

If he is someone that beats around the bush a lot in his life, maybe he is someone that like whatever happened in his childhood, or maybe a past relationship, a girl wouldn't give up, so he had to like, let her down easy, because he sobbed and SHE screamed and SHE kicked, and he cried and he would. The relationship, I don't know what IT is, but all I can say is i'm really sorry he's done with the relationship. And I also want you to think about this.

I would never want to be with someone that basically says I need a break from you. I'm not feeling this. Please move on.

And if you find someone while we're taking a break, that's totally fine that is literally saying, I don't like you I really don't give a fuck about this relationship, but i'm trying to be really fucking nice so this doesn't have to be on me to break up with you. It's cowardly and it's a fuck and loser energy. But a lot of them do IT.

So if I can just give you your answer, yeah it's over but that's okay. And I hope that I can save you a couple months of like going on dates and and thinking, yeah but maybe he'll come back. He's not coming back. And if he does come back, it's out of like boredom or being like all just like goes, we can hook up a little bit more like I just fucking hate when people can't be direct. And I honestly maybe IT comes with age like now in hindside.

If I look back on myself on being a hypocritic because I feel like I did this to a guy in college that I was seeing and I was just very inconsistent with him and I wanted him when I wanted him and I didn't when I didn't and like there would just be weekends were like, I would see him with another girl and he would be flirting with her, and I had kind of jumped him lightly. And then I would be like, oh, I want him back and then the next thing, a good thing came around, I was like, oh, goodbye. And I just joined with his emotions.

And I didn't think IT was healthy or nice. And I regret that. And being in college, I do think that's where you can like get that kind of like energy out. But IT just seems like this guy is actually being like he's actually being quite straight forward in the most non farragut forward way. Um so yeah my advice to you is move on and and go for someone that knows they want you and go for someone that and go for someone that respects you enough to be honest and have a and have a conversation with you rather than just like skirt around the bush and kind leave you like wondering because what the fuck.

Okay, next question, any advice about actual daddy issues my boyfriend cheated on? 哦， my god, sorry, that wrong. I thought I said my boyfriend cheated on my mom.

And I wait a second. You, your mom and your boyfriend, or own relationship, let stuck can go. This is going to be a good story time now.

My dad cheated on my mom and they got a divorce three years ago. I was super messy, and he just can't seem to stop talking shit about her even after i've told him. It's hard for me to respect him when he continuously disrespect her.

He he basically told me to go fuck myself when I asked for this boundary. IT hurts and its toxic having him in my family, but I always feel guilty when cutting him out. What do I do? I am so fucking sorry that is like, that's really awful.

I fucking love when people are like the people in the wrong like, so your dad cheats and he's now talking shit on your mom. Make IT makes sense. Make IT makes sense.

It's literally like when someone cheats, they somehow I get to turn IT back on the other person. It's like, I how are we fighting like about me? Doesn't me like you're the one that went outside the relationship? You're the one that betray the trust y, you're the one that cheated. How the fuck s is on me? I think that it's just so tough with parents because I get what you're saying like this is not just like a friend that's being disrespectful that you can be like, okay, i'm like removing myself from the situation and i'm knocking to hang out with you anymore like this is your dad and not really in a release sorry.

The next few times that you do hang out with him and you've tried to set this boundary and he's clearly, i'm sorry, but your dad is kind of being fuck and ashok being like a talking shot on your mom and then basically tell me you do a fuck yourself and you're trying to these boundaries like OK bro like you just wanted fucking live in your own fantasy y world and be a little fucking narcissist piece of shit and own nothing and act like your behavior to infect all of us like, sorry for calling you. I'm not calling you that of arctic stic piece of shit. Maybe I am no, i'm not no, i'm just saying like what your writing his behavior is like dush Bakery times a million.

My advice to you would be next time you're with him because you're trying to give him the benefit of the out in these moments instead of saying please stop, I would, wherever you are, stand up as he starts to talk about on your mom and remove yourself from the room. So maybe you're sitting at a dinner and he starts going off dad, i've talked you about this. I'm not interested in talking shit about mom.

I'm going to remove myself from this and you get up and you walk away in the kitchen at his house and he's talking, talking shut on your mom. Get up, go getting your fucking car and leave I mean, god forbid, maybe in the fucking car together, right? Open the car to aren't just flying yourself out, fucking ing fooling yourself out of the highway.

Really make a statement. But I was getting, please with love of god, be safe. But do you know, I mean, like, I think, to physically remove yourself in those moments, people like that like want a reaction. They want arise.

And he is probably, this is what I, unless he is actually like an arctic stic psycho, when people make really bad decisions and fuck up and like cheating and stuff, they're looking for a way to make themselves feel Better. And so by talking shit on your mom and consistently talking shot on your mom is probably is making him feel like, yeah, like fucker. That's why I cheated.

And he's almost trying to validate and give reason as to why he made this awful decision. And so when you sit there and you listen to IT, IT gets him off like that, gives him this reprieve that he needs in order to feel Better about himself and not like a piece of shit. And so I feel like the best thing to do, the best thing to do with a lot of situations i've learned later in life is like literally just walk away.

After you have tried to set a boundary and someone does not respect the boundary, walk uh, away and eventually you continuously walking away from him. And every single time you're talking and he does that, you walk away, you walk away. Eventually you're going to walk away for good.

And if he can get the hint, I worry for you that is really detrimental to your mental health because as we learn in therapy and on the show and just in life, like everything that's happening with your parents has an impact on the way that you view romantic relationships moving forward. And so my fear for you as as much as this is hurtful, if you ever just become Normalized and you ever kind of just roll over and big final, i'll just let ambigu al get to the dinner. Eventually you're going to become very, very familiar ized, and it's going to become Normal almost when a man is talking like that.

And so I worry for you for your future relationships. Like how is that an impact you when you're finding a partner and they're speaking to that way, you then have these tendencies that you're building that you don't even realize you're building that it's like just at there, just take a public of lots not worth fighting over and that is where it's scary. It's like our parents can fuck us up as much as we want ah actually not much as we want, as much as they fucking one and that's on them and that's what they have to live with.

We don't have to live with that. We have to live with the temporarily until we're actually able to recognize its affecting us and seeing into our lives because it's our life, it's not their life, it's our life and then it's on you to write the wrongs of your parents for yourself, not for fuck in them. What the fuck have the shame and the guilt of all the ways they fucked you up? And of course, there are some parents that can help the way they fucked you up if this is like an abusive situation, or its manipulation, or its nurses ism, or its whatever IT is that has like essentially plagued your life, like you then can relinquish ourself of that trauma and of those awful tendencies.

But you need to and IT seems that you're obviously recognizing this awful tendency of your father to be should talking your mom and now that you've tried to establish boundaries and he's clearly telling you, I don't give a fuck about your boundaries, my worry for you is when someone is like that, it's kind of like they have tunnel vision and they're never going to be able to see the other person side like he clearly has no interest in how this is affecting you as his daughter and that makes me so sad for you and i'm so sorry because that must be really distributing for you. And in a reality shift of like growing up in your parents have a relationship and then you're dead, cheats and this whole thing is spiralling in all of the things that you had built your relationship off of with your father have now sort of crumbled and he is now becoming this person that you don't like. Unfortunately, it's not our job to fix people, and he's clearly going through a very dark time in his life.

And I respect you for feeling guilty to not be able to engage with your father like I don't want to cut him out of my life. No one wants to cut a parent out of their life, even when IT is abusive, even and when it's manipulative. But in some capacity, sometimes it's the best thing not only that you can do for yourself, but that you can also do for them.

Because in some capacity, the more and I know it's weird with a parent dynamic, but the more that we continue to engage in that type of behavior, we're just enabled ling them. The more you sit there and listen to IT and and I get IT the other legal, he won't listen to my boundaries. So what do I do? You leave.

And I know it's really hard, but he's basically saying he's not gonna stop. So the only factor that you can have any impact on is yourself. so. Family relationships are really fucking tough and no family is perfect. And I feel like it's important to remember that daddy again, like it's hard.

And I guess all I can say is the more you are kind to yourself, I know it's not so stupid, but like the more your kind to yourself and recognizing no thing is too little, if something made you feel shit, if something made you feel certain way that affected you, let's unpack IT and not why. I know i've been such an advocate for therapy. And I think sometimes when you talk about therapy, I can kind of just be like, I don't know, people roll their eyes like, yeah I know how much can that help?

And like, i'll be honest with you guys recently I went um to every other week with my therapist. I was feeling like I have nothing to talk about anymore. I felt like I don't know. I feel like it's not that I have nothing to talk about, I so much to talk about, but I was kind of feeling like every week was just getting like would like I kind of want every other we all have more to discuss at that point.

And I just got on with my therapist past week and I was like, I had so much to discuss and then I was like, can we meet next week too? And he was like, of course, alex, but it's like it's never ending. It's never ending. And you just have to be you have to be strong and you have to be strong within yourself. And that's exhAusting when there are so many other things going on and take precedent like you wanting to find a boyfriend or you wanting to find a partner, you wanting to get a new job and you wanting to like have a social life.

And it's hard to find time for ourselves because feel like IT seems like weird and selfish and also like it's so um like IT feels intangible almost to like invest in yourself and invest in time like it's like no just like go to the bodies class or drink the Green juice or go to the gym or do whatever the fuck and it's like talking speaking about your experience and speaking about your feelings. IT opens up so much and when you have someone there is just there who is licensed to help you, IT allows you to like genuinely, you start to say things you never even thought of like i'm telling you if you've never been in therapy out like I have been in so many therapy, I had a therapy session today, probably i'm so and we were talking about something and I had this like, revelation. And I was like, oh my god.

Like, I never thought about IT like that. Like, wow. And my therapist was just kind of silent, and I like, I came to that revelation on my own, and SHE was just in silent, like listening to me.

And I was like, wow, had I not had my therapy session this week, I wouldn't have had an hour to be selfish and talk about myself and talk about my feelings and I feel like especially as no, it's going to say, especially as women know also men, we we all have a different. But like we are not trained to be selfish and we're trained like how did you make them feel and and that's important but how how do you feel? How doesn't make you feel.

And so even if it's not therapy, even if you're not at a place right now, we are ready to engage in therapy. Maybe you start journal, maybe you start, I don't know, like going on more just like walks or like just time where you can like really be selfish with your time to connect with yourself because life is too fucking crazy. And our twenty years and thirties and forties and it's like you don't have a second, we don't have a second.

You're in college, you're too busy to fuck and focus on your own ship because you're party, you're ranging, you're having fun. You get out of college OK. I'm ready to focus on my shit.

No, you need if I can job. But where are you're going to live? Oh, you lost all your friends because you move to a different city.

Great, go make new friends. Go to this. Oh, your, you're sitting in your bed by yourself.

Great, go make new friends. Oh, you're not financially stable now. great. Go get a second job.

Oh my god, by the time that's happening, you find your partner. Thank god. Okay, now you're getting married.

Now you're having kids. There is never a right time for any of IT. There's never right time for any of IT. I listened to my friends sometimes we were talking and we were like, there's not even there is no right time to have kids.

There is no right time to switch jobs or to move, like it's all gonna crushing and all going to be once how you handle IT. So who this got deepo quick, but I hope you guys took something from this week's episode, and I hope this wasn't too heavy on a sunday, maybe cleaning your apartment. And this was A, I don't know, maybe this Sparked a couple things in your brain for food, for thought.

But I know sometimes I come on this podcast and I try to be positive, obviously, which is so fun and fun and it's funny to tell stories. But I also think it's nice to have like a little bit of a baLance because I don't know. Maybe you think like my life is great and perfect and it's not.

And I think it's important to acknowledge, like I have my family shit, matt, and I argue my sex life is not always perfect. My business life is so fucking stressful. My friendships I have to work on, like everything that you guys are going through. I'm also experiencing these things. So if there's ever like a topic you guys want me to talk about, i'm here.

I'm always game and I love you guys and I just know like I think what is very incredible about having this podcast is like, I love that i'm able to like talk and hopefully connect a lot of us to make us feel less alone because it's fucking and lonely out there but it's nice to know that we're all kinds going through the same fucking and shit so I love you and take care of yourselves this sunday. Um I took a bath the other night, which is very not like me, but I don't have a spirit and currently so I was like, oh my god, a bath sounds delicious. And what was actually math idea? I was saying that my neck was hurting.

I have like Chris onic necked pain from sitting at my desk and editing, and that was like, why don't I make you a bath? And he was so cute, he turned the lights all off and he let a bunch of candles around the bath. And I put on like a late coming, like meditation.

And I just laid in the back for like thirty fifteen minutes and I turned into a pro and I will say I think that helped my stress levels and I feel like hf, the time and like, oh, i'm too busy for about there. I just want to get in to bed and i'm like, no, I am going to try to take more booths. I'm gona be a fucking in bath.

Wel OK. I'm gna get myself some bath bombs. I'll probably do IT like once to a map.

But just note to self, take more about studying again. I love you. Thank you so much for listing to this episode. I will see you buckle on wednesday. goodbye.