BE 334: Rebuild or Carry On? How to Maintain Business Relationships
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This is the Business English Podcast, Episode 334, Rebuild or Carry On? How to Maintain Business Relationships.

Welcome to the Business English podcast from All Ears English. Get the English skills you need to achieve your dreams in global business. For a presentation, a meeting, or your office party, this is Real Business English with your favorite American hosts, Lindsay and Michelle, coming to you from New York City and Colorado, USA. Welcome to the Business English podcast from All Ears English.

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Hey, Michelle. I have a question for you today. Oh, okay, Lindsay. I am ready for it. Have you ever had to talk to someone or work with someone in the business world in your career after you had an awkward encounter with that person? Something weird happened? Maybe you were competing with them? There was some kind of bad energy? Oh, man, that is a good question. I

I can't necessarily think of a specific instance, but I definitely have had uncomfortable situations where you do have to get past it and still keep up that work relationship. But I can't think of a specific example. What about you, Lindsay? Anything? Well, definitely, I can think of a situation that I'm not personally experiencing, but my

But my partner is in which there's been a big shakeup at work and certain people that used to be my partner's coworkers,

are now reporting to my partner. So it's awkward when this kind of thing happens. So it's not exactly the same thing, but in the corporate world, especially in developing companies, these shakeups happen all the time. The person who was your colleague, you're now their boss the next week. You come back from vacation and you're their boss. That is something that happens. And so...

yeah energy can change relationships high and hierarchy matters more so in other cultures than in our culture but it does matter so we're going to address this kind of sticky situation today a little bit yeah yes yes yes exactly yeah so we have a listener today a listener today a listener's question today hopefully we have more than one listener hello listen are you no a listener who

in a question today. So we're going to talk about it because this listener, Kate, seems to be in a little bit of a sticky situation. So we're going to talk her through it and help you guys too in case you're in some sort of similar situation. But before we get into that, we want to remind you to hit the follow button wherever you are listening to the Business English Podcast so you never miss any of our episodes.

Yeah, let's all do it right now. Hit that follow button. Come back to the main page of the show. Hit follow so that Business English drops right into your listening queue three days a week. Guys, moving into 2025, we want to have it be the best year of our careers yet. So let's go for it. Let's follow the show. All right. So this is Kate from Taiwan and she watches us on YouTube and she loves our conversations.

And she feels that we can really apply it in daily life. But what is Kate's scenario? Can you kind of paraphrase it for us? Sure. Yeah. Thank you to Kate for this question. So Kate is basically in this situation where she has to make a phone call to a native English speaker that she had an awkward conversation

business encounter with before. And she has to ask this person for a favor or assistance in some way. So she actually says that this person probably won't expect to hear from her. And this will be a little bit of a seemingly random phone call. So this person was a salesperson from another company, and they were both bidding on the same transaction. So

It wasn't necessarily a bad encounter, but she says that the transaction was intense and they had never met before. So now she needs to start a phone call with her and see how is she going to do that.

And is she, what is she going to say? Right. And it sounds like she needs her assistance. Is that right? She needs her help at this point in this new scenario. Okay. Yep. Okay. So, okay. So coming from a negative encounter, something happened and now she's turning back around and she has to actually get help from this person now. So there's lingering energy potentially. Yeah.

Right? Okay. Yes. So this is, I mean, Kate, this is a great question. It's very specific. Sorry, you have to deal with this awkwardness. Unfortunately, I guess this is just

Part of life, right, Lindsay? Totally. And I would say what's compounding this just to add, you know, an additional complication, this is going to be on the phone, right? So sometimes these things can be a little easier in person. You can show through your body language that you'd like to make peace or you just like you want to just communicate in a positive way. It can be a little more challenging on the phone. So we got a lot of elements in today's challenge, but I like it. I like it. Yes. Yes. So, I mean, yeah.

do you think about Kate's situation? I mean, for me, I think business is business and she should just be professional. I don't think she should bring it up. Just say, "Hi, nice to speak to you again." Especially because this is not a person that it sounds like she's going to have a big future relationship with. And it also doesn't sound like

something went terribly bad between them. So I don't, I personally don't think that she needs to bring it up. What do you think though? Yeah. I think if this is going to be, let's see, did she say it's kind of a more permanent working phone relationship that she's going to have with this person ongoing or is it one phone call? That's kind of the question for me. This person won't expect me to call her. It's out of the blue. So, um,

I don't know what will be in the future, but I get the sense that it may. Yeah. Okay. So if it's going to be like an in-depth relationship where you're going to be collaborating on the phone or in person ongoing, need to create something together. I think at some point the issue is going to come out if it's still lingering at that point, you have to address it. If you see that it's lingering. Yeah.

Right. If there's some bad blood or there's some someone has a chip on their shoulder that then needs to be addressed. Otherwise, it's going to turn into a passive aggressive awkward situation. But I agree with you, Michelle. If this is a one time phone call and you need something from them, try to start fresh and just be super professional.

Yes. Yeah, that's what I think. You really... Yeah. So every situation is different, of course. So, Kate, unfortunately, we would need a little bit more context, I think. But overall, if you're just going to be every once in a while having to call this person, then I don't think... I think you should just keep it professional and not bring it up. Yeah.

But so that's our opinion. But guys, because this situation is so specific, we're going to use it to talk about how we can start a phone conversation after an uncomfortable encounter in the workplace.

I love it. All right. So let's first of all, give some examples of what that uncomfortable encounter could have been, right? Some examples of what might have happened. Okay. Right. Right. So maybe you had some sort of a disagreement with someone at work. Maybe there was a meeting, maybe over an idea, something didn't, you guys didn't quite click. Maybe you just had a little bit of friction. Yeah.

Yeah. Or you know someone who has given a promotion over you or vice versa. This can definitely cause, especially if you feel like you deserved it and they didn't. This can be tricky and sticky for sure. Yeah. Tricky and sticky. Yes. Or maybe you just

had an experience with this person personally that wasn't great. So maybe you would go to lunch with them every day and then you got into some sort of altercation. You had a disagreement and maybe you learned about that person's politics and they don't like yours and you don't like theirs. And you just realized that personally that friendship wasn't going to work. So

There can be a lot of things that happen that are not that you can't be friends with people who have different politics from you. But I'm just saying as if there was some sort of an altercation around it. So, but that doesn't mean you don't work with that person. Right. And so what do you say when you do need to call them? And.

Yeah, I think this goes back to what Lindsay said. It really depends on the future of the relationship. It depends how you're going to be working with them in the future. What do you think? Yeah, I think these are going to be good steps that we can go through here. I think the other thing to consider is it's very possible that the prior experience you had with them...

was not a big deal to them, but it was to you. People just take in the world really differently. Some people are pretty unaware if they make someone upset or they just maybe sometimes something wasn't meant to be upsetting and they didn't consider it to be upsetting, but you got upset and

Right. So, so it doesn't necessarily mean you're both in the same headspace around your relationship. So true. So if you go into it and you're really intense, right. Then that, that will then mess up the relationship where everything could have been fine. If you had just reverted back to being kind, being professional, um,

So that's the other thing to consider. We all see the world with our different rose colored glasses and different ways or different colored glasses. Right. Right. Yeah. So in that case, my, now my feeling is that unless it was glaringly obvious, right, right. That it was a really big deal to both of you. You were in a fight. There was something, you know, it was very obvious. You have no question that that was upsetting to that person too. I,

I think you should just be pleasant and just try and move on. And if then, if like, let's say you are pleasant, you're trying to move on, you notice there's some tension, that would be maybe a time to bring it up. But I don't think just on the phone, right?

right away going into it is necessarily a great idea. Yeah, because I think it comes back to what you said, Michelle. Business is relationships, but default to business is business until... Less than until you realize there's a problem with the relationship in this scenario. And I think you can build relationships by just being...

like kind and generally respectful at work. Okay. So, all right, Michelle, let's go into the steps. Okay. What are the steps? Yeah. So let's say you need to call them. So you, you, in this situation, we're, we're acting as if we, we don't really want to get too much into it. Yeah. If you do want to bring it up and address the elephant in the

room you can. So let's talk about if you maybe want to touch on it a little bit, but how do you let's get the steps. Okay. So we're going to do greeting number one, brief mention number two and move on number three. So yeah. So great. So I like that. So the greeting is just a basic hello, right? Michelle, whatever you would say to, you know, and we've done that in other episodes and we, yeah. Then we move on to the second step, which is the brief mention.

Now, is this mentioning the thing, the event, or is it just sort of, I don't know, catching up a little bit? Or, well, it's a

it's a little bit of both. So this first one is really could be is more neutral. I know we haven't spoken in a while, right? I know we haven't spoken in a while. Yeah. And what I think you're going to do here, I think this is the pivot point where the point of this brief mention of just sort of saying something is getting a sense of how they're feeling about you in that moment. Hmm.

So then you can know whether there is an issue. Like if you call and you say, oh, I know we haven't spoken in a while and there's a long silence on the phone, then you know there's lingering bad feelings. Then you may actually have to address it. But if they, oh, you're right. How was that event you had over the week? I don't know. Catching up, then everything is fine. But this gives them a chance to...

show you is everything fine. Right? Yes, yes, yes, yes. Exactly. Or if you want to be a little bit more direct and touch on it a little bit, you could say, it's been a while since blank and I wanted to reach out. So you could say, it's been a while since we last spoke. It's been a while since the meeting. It's been a while since you got promoted. Right? Whatever it is, you can lightly touch on it. Yeah. It's interesting here because we're not saying, it's been a while since we had that big blowout. Right?

Right, right, right. But you are actually kind of saying that because you're leading to the event where you had the fight, right? Whether it was a meeting. Right, yes. So there's an undertone meaning here, which means you're saying it's been a while since we had that fight.

Yes, yes, yes, exactly. And then the third step, and this is huge, the moving on step. So just getting past it, getting to the point and seeing where it leads. So you could say, anyway, I'm calling to ask you about blank. I'm calling to ask you about the new marketing strategy, for example. Or I actually need to talk to you about the upcoming conference. Or maybe you feel that person needs a little bit extra...

attention, you might say, I really respect your opinion. So I knew you'd be the right person to ask about. So the recent situation with the VPs, whatever it may be. And that's by saying, I really respect your opinion. You're trying to kind of heal the relationship a little bit. So I think the way to do this is try to always be the adults in the room. And that means feeling out whether does this issue need to be addressed?

Or is everything okay and we don't need to linger with any energy and we can move on? It's kind of in the moment. It's kind of a pivot in the moment, Michelle, that you have to address. So you can't really go into it with a plan. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's so true. And I think that's why Lindsay called it tricky and sticky. I mean, this is... And you can go in with all these steps, but...

But to me, the most important thing is the listening. The listening. 100%. Because that's going to direct you to what do you say next? What do you do? So if you go in with these steps and then you're not paying attention, you're really going to miss the point. Yes. We have to respond to what is needed in that

moment. And it's always the relationship that we're paying attention to. But sometimes the adult thing to do is to just move on and revert back to being kind and respectful. And sometimes it's go deeper and address the issue if it seems to be lingering. Yeah. Nice. Okay. So let's take a quick break, Michelle, and come back for a role play.

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And with available features like heated seats and a multimedia touchscreen, you can stay connected in comfort and style. Or check out an affordable and reliable Corolla with a trim for every lifestyle. From the hip and agile sedan to the sporty hatchback, there's a dependable Corolla built just for you.

Plus, both Camrys and Corollas are available in hybrid models. So no matter your style, you can drive efficiently and affordably. So visit your local Toyota dealer and check out amazing national sales event deals on Camrys, Corollas, and more when you visit buyatoyota.com. Toyota, let's go places.

All right, Michelle. So where to now? Where to from here? Well, I just also want to, you know, we talked through this a lot. But the other point I want to make is that you shouldn't shy away from important business matters because of the past.

I could see some people, maybe myself, I don't know, anybody thinking, oh, maybe I don't want to call that person. Maybe I just want to see if I can find the answer another way. And I can avoid this person altogether until the end of time. But you do have to always keep business first. If you need something from that person and you're avoiding them, then we...

It's kind of a sign that you really do need to talk to them. Yes, totally. So just, yeah, don't let it get in the way of what you actually need to get done at work. Yeah, your performance. Because that could really cause problems. Right, your performance, your career, you know, you have to keep that in mind and kind of address the thing head on if it needs to be addressed. It's a way to grow personally.

right yep yeah yep okay exactly so should we do a role play sure so here uh you are calling me and we haven't spoken for three months you were promoted above me and you knew that i was upset about it okay that is the context here we go and we we had a little awkward conversation about it a few months ago but now we haven't spoken since then okay so yeah that is awkward okay here we go hello

Hi, Lindsay. It's Michelle. How are you? Oh, hi, Michelle. I'm good. How are things in the new position? Good, thanks. It's been a while since that changed and I wanted to reach out. Nice, thanks. Well, Lindsay, I really respect your opinion. So I knew you'd be the right person to ask about all of the upcoming marketing material that we are planning to send out.

Oh, sure. Yeah. So that's nice. So what you've done is, so I like how you handled this, right? Thank you. So you acknowledged that we both, you knew that there was going to be awkwardness, right? So you made the call first of all, right? And then you said, it's been a while since that changed. And I like how you phrased that because you didn't say it's been a while since we got into that fight about you getting, about me getting promoted over you and-

Yeah. Right. Yeah. You're kind of taking a little step back. Yeah. But you're just saying something changed in the hierarchy of our company because

And that's a classy way to say it, I think. Thank you. I try and be classy. And then I said, I really respect your opinion, so I knew you'd be the right person to ask about all of the upcoming marketing material, blah, blah, blah. So I'm showing this person that I'm showing you that you have value, that I...

I appreciate you and I need your help, you know? So I think it's possible that later on we would, if you're still, if you still seem upset that maybe I would bring it up more specifically, but here I'm trying to just show you without

having some sort of confrontation or additional awkwardness. I'm just trying to show you, okay, nothing has changed. It's not that I think you're less than... Totally. You're less than I am because I got the promotion and you didn't. I need you. I think you're very helpful and smart.

Totally, totally. And I think this is really good. And you're making the call because you do respect my opinion. Yeah, I would say and that so that makes sense in this context, I would say, let's say you're not making a call, you just run into someone and you just say a compliment. If it's not true, just make sure it's genuine. What you're saying if you're going to give a compliment to try to rebuild and reset, make sure it's 100% genuine. Otherwise, people see through stuff really easily. Yeah, right. Oh, I

Really? You do? Yeah, exactly. Right, right, right. That's a good point. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I mean, gosh, Kate, I'm sorry you're in that situation. I hope we've given you some good ways to navigate this. But we also want to, speaking of the phone, just a few episodes ago, we did episode 331, I'll Try Back Later, How to Talk with a Receptionist in English. So more phone talk over there. Yeah.

Yeah. And I think it's really interesting that our role play scenario turned out to be the scenario described at the top of the show, Michelle, where people who used to be colleagues are now someone's boss. Right. Yes. This does happen a lot in the corporate world. Yeah. Especially as budgets get cut, CEOs maybe get fired, for example, and then everything gets shaken up.

And so look out for this. Just know that if you work in a company that's growing or developing or trying to find their footing, that could happen. Right. And so I think that just comes back to building relationships with everyone from the start, you know? Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, very good point, Lindsay. And guys, just remember always, though, that try and try and keep it professional. Always, you know.

Don't avoid your tasks because you're afraid of calling someone. Yeah, exactly. And professional can mean different things. Being, like I said, the adult in the room can mean different things depending on what response you're getting from the other person.

That's the key. Absolutely. Yeah. Always have your ears open and listening and ready to make those pivots depending on how that person reacts to you. Super interesting, Michelle. Really good stuff we're getting into here. Guys, hit follow if you love Business English. We'll see you next time. All right. Bye. Bye.

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