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Roasting an art form that has been around for so long Years have passed and people are still getting cooked now roasting. It's just all fun and games It's jokes between you and your friends But sometimes you're the main target and you're the only one that's getting roasted and that's why getting roasted can be so painful Sometimes you're the only one getting fried and it's like no matter what you do
People are going to be on your head for it. Say you're having a bad hair day. You pull up to the facility. You got like a few pieces of hair sticking up. But that doesn't matter. People are going to say you look like Alfalfa from the Little Rascals. And I'm thinking my own parents would get on my head and say this to me.
And I've been roasted so much in my day-to-day life that I'm like, you know what? I just learned to embrace it at this point. People are gonna roast you. It is what it is. Like 95% of the time, people are joking. But sometimes people really mean that shit. And I just sit there and think to myself, damn.
My eyes really that far apart? Am I walking around looking like Sid the Sloth? And I take a good hard look at myself in the mirror. I put a ruler up to my eyes just to make sure. No, I'm just kidding. But back in the day and even now, there are a lot of things that I still get cooked for.
Now, I hated having short hair, but my parents made me get it cut really short. But there was this one time where my dad was just like, you know what? You got a garbage haircut. I don't know what the hell they did to your head. We're shaving it off. So they sat me down in the kitchen. I got a chair out of the basement and my head was completely sh-
Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim anymore.
a few shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon, spend less, smile more. And you can only imagine the roasts that were headed in my direction. I mean, granted they were like elementary school roasts. My friends were just calling me baldy as my hair follicles were non-existent. And when all my friends came over, it was so bad that I wore a hat in the pool. I wore a hat almost everywhere. And now I'm probably going to get
punished for it to this day. I'm just going to start balding at the age of 21. But when my hair finally grew back, I had the courage to take my hat off. But of course, as you could imagine, that had a very distinct and disgusting smell. But me and my hat, you know what? We conquered the world through thick and thin. We were really locked in like that.
But another thing people would get roasted for back in the day is having a crush. If you had a crush, everybody was going to get on your head for it. People would sing a whole song just to roast you. But no matter what, the FBI would have to confront me to get that information out of me. I wasn't telling anybody. People would try to interrogate me. And it was at the most random times too. We could have been sitting there playing Pokemon cards. You have a crush. Spill the beans. I know you do. Okay, that was overdramatic. You get the point.
Having a crush was a big deal. So what I did instead is I would join in on roasting the people that did have a crush. There was this one time where my friend was on the phone with his crush and we were all in an Xbox party with him. And we played the most edgy and offensive memes that we could possibly think of. And his crush got mad and hung up the phone. Yeah, bro, we were some...
Assholes for that. I'm not gonna lie, but it's kind of funny looking back on it Like look if I was gonna get roasted I had to participate myself from time to time Another big thing that people would get roasted for was their hairline and the big thing when I was like 13 was quote You have a mcdonald's hairline your hairline looked like vegeta's Well get ready to get cooked and people that I went to school with or people I did sports with would do what's called?
quote, a hairline check. And what this was is people would go up to you and ask to see your hairline. They would demand to see your hairline. They wanted to make sure that it wasn't a McDonald's hairline. This dude went up to me three times in one year just to make sure that my hairline didn't just magically change overnight. And oh my God, forget it. If you had a McDonald's hairline, yeah, see, I was friends with this one kid who did have one. This dude got called Ronald McDonald.
Every day of his life now, thankfully I was safe from that one But a couple years later there was a joke that was going around that if you were the quiet kid You just got a strap tucked in your backpack ready to go and I was the main target of this joke And still to this day I get cooked for it. Sometimes I just don't really talk unless I have something of importance I know I do this whole YouTube thing, but in real life, it's a lot different for me
So yeah, I've heard every school shooter joke under the sun. Guys, he's reaching in his backpack. Oh my God. They were just expecting me to just pull out an AR-15 in GTA YouTube, not in real life. And it didn't help at all that I would wear a hoodie and I would just put my hands in my hood pocket. At that point, I was just asking to be roasted. And I had this emo ass haircut in middle school.
And of course, yeah, my fits were not up to par either. I was repping a Pokemon backpack and I wore the same Pokemon and Mario t-shirts every day. And in middle school, I was the neon kid. Like I had every color of traffic cone that you could imagine. I would walk in and just flashbang people with how bright these damn colors were. And I would wear sweatpants that were years old, bro. They had holes in them. They were dusty as hell. And you know, I wasn't exactly a fashion connoisseur over here.
Like you could have stuck my ass on the runway with how goofy my outfits were There was this one time I got made fun of for having a pokemon backpack and I cried about it all day And even when I got off the bus and school was over I was mad about I was telling my mom about it like that point school's over who fucking cares anymore So what if your pokemon backpack got made fun of and of course we can't forget this one If you get no girls, you're getting cooked
This one's really prevalent in high school and college. In my experience at middle school, nobody really cared about that. But oh my god, I got clowned beyond belief. When I was just entering college, end of high school, the whole no bitches thing became a meme. So you already know at the roast sessions, I was front and center of that one as well. At any time I would try to say something back, all
they had to do was say, you know what's crazy? I might need to find my hairline, but you need to find some fit. And everybody was on the floor dead. It was over. And where these roast sessions would take place is usually at the cafeteria table or just in a circle with your friends, either outside of school or where you're hanging out, whatever. And never do you want to be in the center of a roast circle. That's like
Asking to get cooked or sometimes people would have rap battles against each other people in the crowd would make a beat crazy times But I was not getting involved. But another thing you don't want to do is laugh You never want to laugh because the person that's getting roasted is gonna be like I know I didn't just hear you laugh and they're just gonna start frying you
And obviously you don't want that to happen. You want them to just keep roasting each other back and forth. Getting involved sometimes is a death sentence, especially if you know that dude is good at roasting. There are a lot of times where people got on my head for laughing. So I just decided not saying anything at all was probably the best option. But if you decide to go head to head in a roast battle with somebody, these are different people that you will see in a roast battle.
The dude that just takes it too far. Like somebody could say, your head looks like an egg, bro. You look like Andrew Tate. And this dude will come out of the woodworks and say, that's why your mom tragically passed away in a car crash. Like, damn, dude, you needed to bring his mom into it. What the fuck? That's just too far. Like, it's just friendly banter back and forth. And at that point, the vibe is killed. That probably just hurt his feelings. So everybody's like, damn, that was fucked up. But this kid has no remorse. It doesn't matter to him. He just wants to win now.
The roast battle. The instigator. There's always that one dude that says, personally, bro, I wouldn't take that disrespect. And they start escalating the beef between you and this other person. They're just trying to sit there, chill with a bucket of popcorn as you get torn to shreds by this other person. And now I had an instigator in my friend group. And bro, I'm not trying to get involved. So I hated when people would do this.
Like I'm just trying to be a spectator, leave me alone, I'm trying to be on the bench. Like if you want me to get involved so bad bro, why don't you get involved yourself? But then there's the kid that gets violent. Like he takes it so personally that he just decides to throw some punches. I didn't know it was that serious to the point where you had to get up and just start throwing haymakers at this random dude. This dude cannot handle being roasted.
He needs to win somehow and I guess he thinks him throwing punches and just beating this kid up for no reason Is gonna get him the win, but in reality, it's only gonna make you look worse It's different if it gets like very disrespectful. Obviously i'm not letting that shit slide But if it's something like you look like an egg, just let it go bro. It's not that deep at all There's always gonna be the one person who gets insane information. I don't know how they get it I don't know where they get it from
But they just happen to know everything about you. They might be watching you at night. You gotta be careful. This person is your number one stalker, so you don't want to even try going up against them in a roast battle. They just dig up the most cryptic piece of information that nobody knew about, and it's over for you. There's no coming back at that point.
People will bring up that you were that one dude that pooped himself in middle school in another state and you moved here just to avoid the embarrassment. Like that has got to cut deep. And then we got the dude that tries to roast you in front of the girls. There's always that guy that wants to make you the laughingstock in front of all the girls. I'm sure a lot of people experienced this one. And oh, I for sure did. I was in college at this time and I was in the room with a bunch of people, right? And then these two random dudes walk in.
there was a few girls there and of course they say hi to the girls obviously and they start talking to them and they want to have this crazy game now i was on my phone at the home screen at this point i put down my phone because i didn't want to be rude when they came in and because i put my phone down they thought i was trying to hide x-rated videos or some first of all that it's terrible for you and second of all why would i even watch it in front of
people and keep in mind i didn't know these people at all and they were saying like i was trying to hide a boner or some shit and then they just walked out the room laughing and left and they just went back to doing whatever the hell they were doing i was just confused as hell and nobody really cared rose battles rose sessions getting roasted it was a lot of the reason why i was the quiet kid if you want to watch my fails and struggles as the quiet kid then click on this video