Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex
53:16 Share

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dan Rather and I'm joined by Mrs. Mouse. Today is Crazy X. Tell us about your Crazy X. People have Crazy X's out there. They do. They have a history. I think I have one.

But I don't think it was realized till after. Now this, I got to give a disclaimer to this. Obviously, this should have been foreseen. Obviously, Crazy X entails some stalking. So if that's an experience you had, this probably. Isn't for you. You want to skip it. At least skip the first two. Yeah. Yeah.

Skip the first two. Just skip the whole fucking thing. Just don't listen to this show. Go get a burrito and a Diet Coke and two martinis and kick your feet up. It's Friday. Enjoy the day off. You've got a day off. No homework today. Fun. Please enjoy Crazy Exes.

We are supported by Audible. We know you love audio content. Thanks for listening to the show. But if your ears are craving more audio, Audible is the place to go. I probably, in truth, spend more time on Audible than any other place. Any other app? Yeah, I'm listening every night for an hour before bed.

There's more to imagine when you listen. Whether you're searching for the latest bestsellers and new releases, or you want to catch up on a classic title, you can find it all in the Audible app. And as an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their entire catalog. What are you listening to now? Well, I'm just finishing The World's I See...

The new Apple Watch Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever.

It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist. And it's the fastest-charging Apple Watch, getting you eight hours of charge in just 15 minutes. Introducing the all-new Apple Watch Series X, now available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generation, iPhone XS or later required, charge time and actual results will vary. Hard times come and go. Take them slow. I had them both. I'm up for one thing.

Hello. Oh my goodness. Look at this wonderful sound booth you've constructed. It's my husband's. He has a microphone and headphones. I was like, thanks, babe. But behind you too, there's a lot of nice sound dampening. I'm in my baby's nursery in this little nook. Oh my God, perfect. How old's your baby? He's four months old. Congratulations. Thank you. He's tiny. Thank you.

Does he smell delicious? Yes, the best. So good. When does that change? It goes on for quite a while. Are we using your real name? My name's fine, but everyone else will change names. Perfect. Just because. And so you're not named after Carly Simon because you would have spelled it differently. Actually, my mom, my name was Sierra, and then she was putting my nursery together and she heard a Carly Simon song. So she changed it. Oh, wow. Aww.

My dad came home. He was like, why does her room say Carly now? And she's like, I changed her name. So you are named after her. Yeah. Just spelled different. I guess that's permitted. I like that. You like when people spell names. You and I have talked about this in the past, Monica. A little bit differently. You like that, yeah. I like that. Okay. Okay.

You have a crazy ex. I mean, everyone does, but you have a crazy ex that we're going to hear about. I was so excited when I saw the prompt. I was like, yes. I can't wait to hear Monica go, oh, my God. What the fuck?

We'll set the stage for us. Yeah, let's hear it. Yes. So it was in 2013. I was a couple years out of college. I met this guy. We won't name him. When I was in college, he just lived in the college town, but he didn't actually go to school, one of those, and he'd sold weed. So that's a big part of the story. He was a...

A dirt bag. Not my proudest boyfriend moment. What was it about him that tickled your fancy? Was he gorgeous or something? He was cute. You know, in college, you're drinking a lot. We met at a party and it was fun. That continued for a couple years, but it was never great. But yeah, so we eventually broke up, but I should have mentioned this earlier. He was into graffiti. Graffiti gangs are called crews. I don't know if you guys know anything about this. I'm like so embarrassed to tell this story. Yeah.

No, we love learning. But yeah, he was in a crew. He always talked about this one specific other graffiti artist in the area that we're from and how he was like this OG person. And there's something very particular about this person. I won't say what it is about him because I would totally give it away. But he was like, yeah, that guy's so cool. I'm like, all right, cool. Wait, can I ask you one quick question? I guess this is maybe a PSA for dudes.

My hunch is he was telling you how cool graffiti was and I'm in a crew and this is awesome. You probably weren't ever that enthralled by it, but you're probably placating him like, oh, cool, hon. Yeah. Pretty much. It's hard for us to know us boys. Like we're trying to tell you about this thing and you're being nice. And then we're misled to think this is cool. Because if you're not nice, then...

They get mad. You get graffitied. Yeah, you get graffitied in the middle of the night. Just wait till the end of this story. Oh, boy. Can I ask how long you were together? On and off for a couple years. But yeah, we break up and I go to a party in a different town with a completely different group of people, not connected at all. And I end up meeting this guy and we hit it off and then we start dating.

Well, it turns out he's like the OG character from another crew. Oh, I had no idea at all. Oh, my God. You have a type. Yeah. And it was so silly. I'm like, why did I date both of these people who were into all this bullshit? Anyways, so my ex finds out.

that I was dating this other cat from another crew and starts to tag my house and tag my work. Oh my God. Tag like all the coffee shops that I go to. Ew. Really, really icky. And he's tagging sloppy seconds everywhere. That's how we knew it was him. Oh.

- Oh my God. - I end up moving, he finds out where my new house is. The cops were involved 'cause at that point in time it was like stalking. But I'd be out with friends and I've always had this weird kind of sixth sense thing. My dad has it too. Something's wrong and we can't really explain it. But yeah, I'd be out and I'm like, "He's here." And my friends would be like, "Where at?" And I'm like, "I don't know, but he's here, I gotta go." - Wow. - And then I'd like walk out of the bar and he'd be like walking around the corner.

Or I'd come out of a coffee shop and you'd be like across the street. New guy, I'm still dating him. He's getting pissed at this point in time because obviously he cares about me enough to be like, this is really creepy and messed up. So the funniest part about this whole story is these two dumb graffiti crews. Sorry to anyone that's like super into graffiti. I think at this point in time in my life, I'm like, it's so stupid, the crew thing. Yeah.

But they met at a train yard for like an old school rumble. No! Oh, I love this part. It's like the outsiders. Yes. And they ended up fighting. Lots of people were involved. Just so dumb. Wow. I couldn't believe it. I was like, really? We're still doing that type of thing?

Now, this is a question Monica would never ask, but I will because I'm a boy. Who won and lost? Was there winners and losers? There's no winners. Everyone's a loser here. Everyone's a loser. I agree. Okay. I just want to know if your valiant boyfriend prevailed. Yeah, I think it got broken up at some point in time, too. I never really got like the full inside scoop of things. Was there guns involved? I don't know.

I don't think so. Okay, just fist fight. Spray pink hands. What if they sprayed each other with- Classic. Paint. Definitely like ripping shirts off and wearing white tank tops. I was open to the notion you were going to say they had a tag off, like a dance off. Like they got to a rail yard and they're like, you've got that train car. We've got this one. Let's see whose piece is fucking better. I'm sad because the second guy, he actually did a lot of really cool legal stuff in the city. And the ex would like go over his legal murals.

and things that were like funded by nonprofits to beautify our city and whatnot. So I just went from that guy's the coolest OG painter. If you ever meet him, let me know. And then I ended up dating that guy. That is crazy. It made him unravel. Yes. Wow.

Well, in his defense, he doesn't deserve any defense. But boy, there couldn't be anything rougher than your ex going to your hero. Dating your hero. I know, right? That is tough. It was not intentional. And I think he definitely thought it was. And I was like, I didn't know. Yeah, that does seem so bizarre. Impossible coincidence. How did it resolve? Just over time, really. I mean, the cops were involved. So I had like a no contact order. Eventually it sizzled out.

Did the fight resolve anything? Did he stop tagging off? No, no, no. Of course. It rarely does, I suppose. After that, the sloppy seconds and name calling on the buildings outside of my house got a little bit worse at that point in time. That's a very freaky experience to be walking around and go like, oh, he was there. Oh, he's there. Leaving tracks. Well, what he's doing is peeing on things. Yeah. Like a dog.

It was scary. I was young and I lived by myself. How long were you with the OG guy? Like six years after that. Wow. Is your current husband a misfit of any kind? No, he's like the most basic nerdy tech guy of all time. In the best way.

Yeah, you have to get it out of your system. Yeah, he's not anything like I used to date, that's for sure. Did you ever hear through the grapevine? Did he outgrow his angsty shit and is he an artist now? I don't think so. When me and the second guy split up, I moved away from that whole scene. No hard feelings with the second one, actually. We're buddies, but I don't think he ever really got his...

stuff together. But that was the weirdest thing was he would live in a different city selling stuff all over the place. And so I'd never know if he was here. So that was like another little piece of it. You just gave me a great idea, Rob. Write down, have you ever dated a drug dealer? So you could probably do a different prompt. Like he have randoms show up at the house. Was he dealing out of the house or would he meet people places? And how much money was he making doing this? Was he like fly and had a bunch of around town money? A lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't ever...

the house. It was more like he'd go places with large amounts in his vehicle. Okay. He was dealing in like kilos and stuff. Yeah, bigger amounts of things.

Wow. How has it permanently impacted your association with graffiti? When you see graffiti, you just go like, fucking clowns or do you like it? I'm not going to say that I never had a little tag or doodle that I did. I definitely did that. It was kind of fun. But when I see it on a house or a building, like, yeah, you clowns really anywhere else. It's cool. And a lot of it is really beautiful and amazing. In our city, there are a lot of very talented people. So like no hate on it, but.

The whole crew beef is beyond me. Yeah. Very immature. Wow. I find myself conflicted about it. I'll see some and it's great. It is. It's art. It's beautiful. But then this happens more in Europe, particularly Paris. You'll see this incredible marble statue that is 600 years old and some arrogant fucking narcissist spray painted all over it to get his own glory. It's got to be him. And I'm like...

Those make me irrationally upset. I kind of feel the same way. I'm like, that's so disrespectful. Like, go do it on the dumpster. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, Carly, what's clear from this conversation is you're a catch. Everyone's lining up. That's right. You're spending no time alone. Yeah.

So congrats. Oh, thanks. You went two, six, and then married. Thanks for sharing. It's lovely meeting you. You too. Thank you. I have to give shout outs. They're going to be so upset if I don't. So my mom said, I have to tell you that she was very sad that Bless This Mess didn't continue. Oh, thank her on my behalf. And Parenthood was her favorite show. She was like, you have to tell Dax. I said, okay, mom.

And then my sister and my best friend are also armchairs. Well, lovely meeting you. Shout out to mom. Thank you, mom. Keep consuming all those things. And shout out sister and best friend. Thanks, guys. All right, take care. Ooh. Do you want to look at my veins, you pervert? Always. You're in a doctor's office, so my presumption was you like veins. Yes, I do like veins. I'm a nurse. I'm here in my clinic room. I was supposed to be seeing a patient, but...

Oh, my God. A doctor is seeing them for me. Oh, okay. We're not preventing someone from medical care. No. Okay. Jackie, are we using your real name? Yeah, that's my real name. Wonderful. And where in the world are you other than a doctor's office? New Orleans, Louisiana, which is also where the story takes place. We don't get a lot of New Orleans callers. We don't, and I love New Orleans. I know. You did have some Tulane talk on one of your recent experts. Yeah, that's like a...

heavy woman college. Right on Malcolm, maybe. It was Malcolm. Yeah, it's like becoming a woman's college. Yeah. That whole area around there, the Garden District and all that stuff is so dreamy. I've been here since right before Katrina when I started college at Tulane. Oh, wow. And where are you from originally? I'm from New Rochelle, New York. That's a big move. We're probably about the same age then. We're exactly the same age. I'm September 87. Ah!

Oh, my God. Are you a Virgo? I'm totally a Virgo. Wow. Girls. I love that. You have the same birthday as my little brother, who is just a few years younger. Lots of crossover. Do you find when Monica and I have dust-ups that you being the same age and a Virgo, are you always on her side? Not

always. It's half and half. Okay. Okay. You're giving us a very fair shake. I hang on y'all's every word. I don't even mind the toe fungus talk. Oh, well, there's more of it. We got a big update today and you'll even get a visual. Yeah, you'll get to see it. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Okay, Jackie, you have a crazy ex story and we're dying to hear it. I do. I missed the stalker prompt. So when crazy ex came by, I thought I have to try and submit. You know, it's funny, Jackie, that you would say that as we've only talked to one other person and it immediately occurred to me, these are generally probably going to be stalkers. Yeah. So this took place in New Orleans in 2007, 2008.

It was my very first boyfriend I ever had. It was my junior year of college. We met working at the same restaurant. He was a bartender and I was a server. And we dated for, I want to say, maybe 18 months. And he was kind of like on the hippie side. He loved music. We'll go to Bonnaroo. And one of his birthdays, I made him like an entire restaurant.

binder full of burn CDs from the 60s and 70s, very Beatles heavy. So we did that a lot together. And you know, I enjoyed the relationship while it lasted, but I was young. I was like 18. And ultimately he turned out to be a little controlling, nothing crazy. He just didn't like it if I would wear makeup to class or dress up nice. Aye.

Yeah. That's a little more than a little controlling. That's red flaggy for sure. It was red flags. It was my first boyfriend. I didn't know any better. And when you're naive, I guess there's some side of you that it's flattering, right? Like, oh my God, he thinks I'm so hot. It's dangerous if I am wearing. He's so protective of our relationship. He's scared. He's threatened. I'm so hot. Yeah.

We are supported by Audible. I love Audible. I've been listening to so much Audible lately because I've been taking these naps a lot. I always like to listen to Audible to go to sleep. Now look, it's a special feeling when you encounter a story that truly sparks your imagination. Whether

Whether it's imagining new worlds and possibilities or discovering new ways of thinking, there's more to imagine when you listen. That's why we love listening to the amazing titles they have on Audible. Right now I'm listening to Wim Hof. Yeah, and you are really into it. You were explaining a lot of the pieces to me. Yeah, and I lost you a little bit.

I'm listening to Intermezzo by Sally Rooney. Is it great? Yeah, it's great. Audible truly has the best selection of audiobooks without exception. From bestsellers to new releases to exclusive Audible originals, there's always something to discover. As

As an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their entire catalog. New members can try Audible free for 30 days. Visit audible.com slash DAX or text DAX to 500-500. That's audible.com slash DAX or text DAX to 500-500.

We are supported by Sonos. Oh boy, oh boy. Sonos is my favorite product in my whole life. I'm listening to it all day long. I'm in the gym listening to Sonos. I'm at home listening, watching TV with my Sonos soundbar. I mean, it's, it really changes the whole experience of listening. Look, you're listening to the podcast right now, but

how are you listening? If you're not listening on a Sonos speaker, you don't even know how amazing the dulcet tones of our voices can sound. Sonos is known for having the absolute best sound quality of any speaker on the market. You've got to hear it. And as good as Sonos can make us sound, imagine listening to Pink

Floyd on a Sonos speaker or hearing the booming dramatic music in a great action film on a Sonos soundbar. Game changing. Another incredible feature of Sonos, their integrated sound system makes it easy to play anything in any room. I love that. It's easy to use too. So you can keep your dance party going throughout your whole house. Visit Sonos.com slash DAX to learn more. That's Sonos.com slash DAX.

We are supported by Skims. If you're in the market for holiday presents, Skims has got you covered. Boy, do they. They just launched their holiday shop with some incredible gift ideas. You know I like giving you. Yes, you're a gift expert and you approve. I do. And when I gave for a white elephant, I gave a Skims robe once before it was a huge hit. It was stolen immediately and locked.

And they do. They have this amazing soft lounge sleep set from the Skims Holiday Shop. Really cute seasonal colors. It's so nice to get festive and get in your Skims and bop around. You got to eventize. You got to. It's so fun. And who doesn't love a gift list? It makes holiday shopping that much easier. Shop Skims Holiday Shop at Skims.com. Available in styles for women, men, kids, and even pets.

If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop down menu that follows.

It started with you would come to the house at all hours of the day and night. I lived on a second floor duplex apartment and I had a little deck outside of my window. It wasn't like a porch. It was like a little deck you could sit on and he would sit up there and do creepy things like he would whistle or knock at my window. I would never be able to get out there fast enough to catch him. And then started the nonstop

phone calls like hundreds a day all hours of the day and night I couldn't even use my phone so I changed my phone number but I kept my old phone because it was just cheaper to let that contract run out so I had both phones with me which is important to a later part in the story it just kept

ramping up. I blocked him and he would call me from restricted numbers. So I just left that phone alone. I tried to move on with my life, but it didn't really stop. I would like notice weird things happening to me around the city. I went to a male friend of mine's house and we're just hanging out at his house and my car alarm kept going off at his house. So I went outside to check and nobody was there. I just kept turning it off. I went back into his room. And he said, Did you just call me?

I said, no, I didn't call you. I'm here. He said, that's so weird. I have this phone call from Jackie right here. And he showed me the phone and the phone call had come from my old phone number, which was back at my apartment. Oh, my God. Oh.

Now we're veering into psychopath territory. I'm scared. I went back to my apartment and it was totally trashed. He had broken into the apartment, rumbled through all my things, taken the phone. Oh my God. Taken the paintings off of my walls and just gone wild. During all this stuff happening, I tried to get my

dad involved and he tried to call him and he would just deny deny deny he was like this is not me i'm not doing any of this you're paranoid can i ask you a question and i don't want a victim shame but it is always curious to me and i just want to explore why people are very resistant to calling the police did you want to call the police did you call the police why didn't you call the police i called the police i tried to call when he was doing the whistling on my porch but by the time they got there he wasn't there i did file a restraining order but

They realistically told me, this is just a piece of paper. Just watch out for yourself. Yeah. I reported him to my campus police. He didn't go to the same college that I went to. So I gave them his picture, but it was just kind of like, okay, be on the lookout. Yeah, you did everything you could do. I'm so sorry, ladies. It's so scary. It really affected my health. I was rapidly losing weight. I was really stressed out. Couldn't eat. I went on a date with another guy months later. We

went to the movies and I drove and on the way we were listening to I think the Marshall Mathers LP and we went into the movies and we came out and when we came out it wasn't playing Eminem anymore it was like blasting the Beatles oh my so at that point I thought okay he definitely stole my extra set of car keys and that's why when I was around the city he would like set off my panic button and I knew it was him because who else was going to be blasting this Beatles music that we had listened to together oh oh man and at that point it

point it had been a long time. The entire experience of him stalking me was more than a year, maybe a year and a half that it happened. So at that point I was past fear and I was really angry. I remember that CD issue being the final straw and I grabbed a friend of mine and I

confronted him at his job. He was working at a grocery store at that time. And I went in with my friend with the Beatles CD and I just accosted him at his job. And I said, I know this was you. I know you've been doing this. You've been following me and loud in the middle of the store. And that spooked him. And he said, Oh, please, please just meet me outside. And then

At that point, he admitted to everything. He said, it's been me this whole time. I'm so sorry. I couldn't get over it. And I just had to do what I had to do. And I'm going to leave you alone. I swear I'm going to leave you alone. Can you just come to my house and I'll give you your things that I have of yours? Oh, my God. Which is another red flag. I did go, but I brought some people with me. And I went to his apartment and he handed me this big cardboard box of all of the things that he had taken from my house. So it was like...

my clothing and just random things that honestly, I didn't really care about if I had them or not. And he said, Well, I have this one last thing to give to you. And what it was, was a journal that I had. And in typical fashion, I would get a journal and write maybe five pages in it and then forget it existed. So he had taken it and he had filled the entire journal full of this long letter to me. I still have

Oh my god, this is so, this is like seven. Yeah, it's like a movie. So this is like how much I wrote in it. And then the rest of the journal is what he wrote. So it was just full of pictures and like one long letter of like pressed flowers. Ew!

Pages ripped out. Oh, mama. And just like letters that I had written to him. There was one part where he would censor what he wrote. I don't know if you guys could see this. Oh, he redacted things. This is so creepy.

Hey, Jackie, when you were with him for the year and a half, did you get any sense that he was like unstable? Other than the like controlling stuff, was he dealing with other issues in his life in a bizarre way? A little bit. He came from somewhat of a broken family. His parents weren't together, but overall he was happy. And a couple of pages that I did write in the journal, I did mention that we had fights here and there.

I don't remember. I guess we were always having little fights. Sure. Well, he's trying to control you and you're probably pushing back and it's probably endless. I'd studied women's studies at Tulane. I was just not having it at the time. I didn't think I just said, OK, never mind. See you later. But I thought this journal was so interesting because I know you guys always talk about journaling. It is a letter written to me. But over the like year and a half that he wrote in this journal, he eventually comes to terms with accepting it and being OK with it.

It ends up being really a note to himself. Wow. So it was obviously very therapeutic for him to have finished this journal. It's a weird testament to the power of journaling, but here we are. I'm shocked he gave it to you. I would have thought maybe he'd want it for himself.

It's also creepy to give it to you. Yes. He did also give me back the car keys and the phone. So I did get all of that stuff back too. And was that truly it? Did you never bump into him again? It was truly it for the stalking part of it. Fast forward to 10 years later is 2018. Also my very first date with my now husband. And we were just wandering around the French corner and we were in the back of the French quarter where it's real quiet, not Bourbon Street party time.

I was showing him an old apartment I used to live in, which this ex-boyfriend I don't think knew about, but I spotted him. He was across the street on the same street that we were on, and he was with another guy. And we shared quick eye contact. We didn't acknowledge each other or anything like that. From there, that was truly it. I never saw him or heard from him again. God.

God, that's what makes these things so complicated and maddening. Like, how is anyone to figure out which one will get over it and which one's going to escalate? And like, you're dealing with something that's kind of illogical and already doesn't make much sense. And yeah, it must be so stressful trying to figure out like, how serious is this threat? How dangerous? Yeah. How much danger am I in? Yeah.

I remember it being very stressful at the time. I'm happy to report there was no real lasting effects from it. I'm happily married and I feel in good health now. Yeah. Wow. What a story. I hate how many women have these stories. I really hate it. Now, when the show Nurse Jackie came out, were you delighted or upset? I don't really mind. People say it all the time. Like, oh, Nurse Jackie. And the funny part is, is right now, one of the doctors I work with, his name is Dr. Google. Oh,

Oh, wow. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Someone has the last name Google? Yeah, it's spelled differently, but pronounced Google. Dr. Google and Nurse Jackie in one practice. This sounds like a comedy sketch. Well, thanks for sharing that. Sorry to make you rehash it. Well, that's okay. I'm so happy to talk to you guys. I truly hang on your every word. I love all the

shows oh thank you sweet we appreciate you can i just give a quick shout out to my fellow arm terry heather our whole text thread is all armchair stuff heather thanks for listening as well thanks guys all right nice to meet you take care bye what a sweet pie yeah i want her as a nurse that's so shitty it is

You're just like in an innocent relationship in college and it turns into this horror show. Did someone trash my apartment? Oh, my God. They're not afraid of the law. Scary. I'm trying to think of the grossest, weirdest thing I've done in a breakup. What have you done? You know, slash tires and smash windshields. No. Oh, my God. I was my worst self when I got cheated on in college.

12th grade. And didn't you do something bad? Well, I tried to fight the boy who fucked her. Have sex with her. Be respectful. They made love. How dare you? I'm going to go to your house now. He was really good. He was gentle. He was really, really good. Yeah. Best lovemaking of her life.

Hello. Hi, Dax and Monica. How are you? Nice to meet you, Chris. You look like you could definitely be in Leonard Skinner. Oh, thanks. You got a real Skinner look and I love it. Yeah. Where are you? I am an hour south of Louisville, Kentucky. Oh.

I love how people from Louisville say Louisville. Yeah, you like to say that. Yeah. I'm from Tacoma, Washington, so I had to learn to say it right. Oh, sure, sure, sure. Okay, so you have a crazy ex, which is a bit of a relief, I gotta say, because we've talked to two women and it's just... And they're horrific stories. Yeah, they're horrific and these poor women are terrified. So if we can hear from a terrified man, that would help right the ship a little bit. Great, cool. So,

So this takes place back near Tacoma, Seattle area in Washington in 2008. My senior year of high school, I started dating a girl who I...

had known. We went to junior high, high school together. She was on the high school cheer team, but she was also in theater. Was she me? Yeah. Things are going great. We started dating about halfway through senior year. So when we start dating, she says, just so you know, I am saving myself for marriage. Totally okay with that. Already, you're a much better guy than most. You're totally okay with that. That's great. Well, I wasn't like stoked about it. You loved her. Yeah, you respected her. Yeah, and other things were happening. Grad

Graduation, we, at this point, we're in love. And she says, I want you to be my first time. I was like, okay, well, I'm not ready to get married. And she's like, no, no, no, I don't want to wait anymore. So we actually do have a couple legitimate conversations about it. And then I end up taking her virginity. It's a pretty great summer for both of us. Sure, sure, sure. And I move into an apartment with a couple friends. And she just kind of starts coming around unannounced. Like she lives there. And my friends were like, hey, it's not really okay.

Okay. So I had a talk with her. And then over the course of two or three months of fall and into winter, she starts getting more clingy. She starts inviting herself to guys days like, hey, we're going skateboarding or we're going up to Seattle to go see a movie. She's like, great. When are we leaving? I'm like, no, this is a guy's thing. And she's like, yeah, but I'm coming with you guys. And I'm like, no, that's not how it works. It just progressively gets worse. Her behavior becomes kind of erratic.

I feel really bad. The first thing on my mind is I'm starting to fall out of love with this girl because it's not the girl that I fell in love with. She's acting differently. And then, of course, I also do feel bad. Like, I did take this person's virginity. And that's very, very sacred to her. You can't take that on. You asked. So I end up breaking up with her. I...

do it not the best way. I don't text her, but I don't do it in person. I call her because I knew it's going to be a huge thing. So I call her and I'm just like, hey, like this isn't working out. I love you, but I'm not in love with you. And of course, the first thing out of her mouth is you're not breaking up with me. You took my virginity. Oh, fuck.

Yeah, like, oh, okay, well, this is tricky. I don't know what to do in this situation. I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Yes, you're right. I guess we're still together. I'm 18. I don't really know how to navigate these kinds of situations. I am not an adult yet. So I basically end up just saying we can talk about this. But like, I think I want to break up. And so a couple days later, she comes over. It's a Friday night. And we're having a

Yeah.

Stop. Stop.

No. No. Okay, so, okay. I'm gonna, okay. Now I'm just gonna let this proceed. So, I didn't handle that well and I, at this point, was like 98% sure she's lying. Right. Because she's angry. So I just do the dumb 18-year-old boy thing of like, oh, okay, you're pregnant, yeah. I kind of make fun of her. Oh, boy. Yeah.

Monica, I'm sorry. I know it's not a good look. Monica, I'm sorry. I mean, she's worse off in this situation than you are. Her behavior is worse. What my egos allow me to remember is this is the first mistake I make is poking at her in a very vulnerable moment, even though like you're using this lie as a weapon. Yeah. She leaves. She calls me a

a hundred times over like a week. I don't answer. She sends me a text and says, I need you to meet me at store and I want us to buy some pregnancy tests. And so I'm like, oh, okay. Now I'm kind of scared. Like, okay, maybe she is serious. Right. So she comes over in the middle of the day and we have a couple that we're friends with that are there to mediate the tension. And I'm like, I don't want to be alone with her. We go in the bathroom and we take the tests. It's negative. Okay. We take a second and then a third one. They're all three negative. And I'm like,

Yeah.

Yeah. I'm like, no, that's not how it works. For one, this imaginary child that you lied about. Oh, my God. We would have raised them separately. I'm not going to be with you regardless. I would have raised them. Yeah, this conversation right now would be about visitation rights, not about where we're going to buy a house. So you did lie about the pregnancy. And she said, yes. And then I'm like, OK.

Please gather your things and leave. And I don't want to speak to you anymore. So she leaves. My friend and I have the decency to wait till she's out of the apartment to high five. Yes. This is a huge relief, even though I knew it was a lie. Just the idea that it's a possibility is terrifying. She starts telling everybody that she miscarried and that that's why she wasn't pregnant. So she's telling everyone in the friend group that like, oh, the stress of our breakup and blah, blah, blah. No one believes her. Thank God.

I don't look good in this situation, even though I really haven't done anything wrong. Right. Yeah, you haven't done anything wrong. We don't talk. It's the next summer. So like nine months goes by. I have some friends who rented a house on the lake. We're partying. I go to bed early. What do

What do you do in the 2000s? You take someone's phone and you make prank calls. Okay. So I have not texted her. I've not called her. She's not reached out to me. One of the people they prank called in my phone was my ex. So it's your buddies fucking with you. They're like pranking people from your phone or you're participating. No, I'm asleep. Yeah. Okay, great. They just sent her some texts and said some things on voicemail. She didn't answer the phone. I had no idea that this had happened. Two days later, there's a sheriff knocking at my door to give me papers for a restraining order. Oh my God.

Oh, Chris. I have to go to a hearing and I have to explain like, this is what's going on. I don't have to go to the hearing, but if I don't go, she automatically gets the restraining order, I guess, if I don't show up to defend myself. I'm 19 now. This is how dumb I am. I think a restraining order is like a physical thing. Like I can't be in her physical realm. So I text her and go like, what's the deal? Why...

did you get a restraining order against me? And now at this point, I figured out like what happened with the prank calls. A restraining order, there's zero contact. So I screw up.

Not knowing that you can't text the person and be like, can we be reasonable? I thought it's like, you know, if I go to a coffee shop and she's there, I have to leave. Yeah, that's kind of weird. I would have thought that probably. Yeah. So I get a fine. I have to go to a court date now. Oh, because of the restraining order. Yeah, because I violated the restraining order. So I have to go in front of a judge and say, this is what happened. And he's like, why would you text her? And I'm like, I don't know. You know, I don't have a lawyer. Yeah. I'm just like, sorry, sir.

You're in your cleanest T-shirt. Yeah, pretty much. Just skateboarding jeans that don't have holes in them. He basically is just like, she's allowed to have this. You could have gone to the hearing and fought this. I understand your position because I had proof. I got the phone company involved with call logs. I mean, I told him the whole story. I just told you guys. Yeah. You can tell he's just sitting there going like, wow, she's something. Yeah. You got your hands full. But you did violate a restraining order. So you have to pay the court fee. You have to pay this fine.

And this is like a strike one kind of thing because I don't have a record. And so I'm just like, wow, I'm just like a creep who has a restraining order from an ex-girlfriend. That sucks. Yeah. I feel like that's on a questionnaire sometimes. Like, have you ever had a restraining order filed against you? It's not like being labeled a sex offender, but it's not great. It's not great. Yeah. I mean, no lesson to be learned other than just, I guess, maybe don't take people's virginity. Yeah.

Monica's not going to like that takeaway, but I feel very confirmed in my fear. There should be professionals. There should be like sex workers. There's singular businesses taking virginity. Oh my God, that's the lesson here.

Let's start a new field of sex work. I have never spoken to her since. And the restraining order expired and we've moved on with her life. It's been over 15 years now. And I married you an amazing woman who's like, yeah, you've never shown me any of these signs. Because I tell the story as kind of like a cocktail party, like a, she's got this crazy story I have. Yeah. I know this doesn't make me look good, but it's a funny story, right? Everyone's always like, yeah, you didn't do anything wrong. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, Chris, it's a damn delight to meet you. Yeah, thanks for chatting with us. That was fun. I'm sorry that happened. Thank you both. All right. Take care, Chris. Bye. Bye-bye. I thought a baby was going to answer the call when they pranked her. Oh, it's been nine months.

That's what you thought the big twist was. And the baby answered and said, Dada? The baby knew his number. I thought she was going to threaten to hurt herself because that's pretty common. I've had that. People are crazy. People get really emotional and they act unpredictably. No, people are crazy. Okay. Okay. I guess the title is Crazy Acts. Fuck with you. People scare me.

Apple Card is the perfect card for your holiday shopping. When you use Apple Card on your iPhone, you'll earn up to 3% daily cash back on every purchase, including products at Apple, like a new iPhone 16 or Apple Watch Ultra. Apply now in the Wallet app on your iPhone. Subject to credit approval, Apple Card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA, Salt Lake City branch. Terms and more at applecard.com.

We are supported by Expedia. Having an adventure on the books gives you somewhere to look forward to. The excitement, the anticipation. Just living in the fantasy of it. And that's why Expedia, Hotels.com, and Vrbo have launched Unpack 2025, an annual report on the trends in travel for the upcoming year. It's a great way to get started.

It's a great way to figure out where you want to go on your next adventure. We checked out the unpacked 25 site and it's really, really cool. They have a section called detour destinations that highlights lesser known cities near major travel spots. So let's say you're thinking of traveling to Cancun. Why not venture off the beaten path for a couple of days to check out Expedia's detour destination, Cozumel. Now Cozumel, Mexico is fantastic. I've been, that's a great detour. Hey,

Hey, maybe you could even make Cozumel your vacation's main destination. Because there's nothing better than traveling, but having a trip to look forward to is a close second. Find your somewhere to look forward to at Expedia.com slash unpack25.

We are supported by BetterHelp. This month is all about gratitude. I'm truly grateful for the people I'm surrounded by in my life. They mean the absolute world to me. They are the greatest gift I've been given. Here's a reminder to give thanks to those you hold near and dear. And while you're at it, give thanks to someone you might not thank enough, yourself. It's something we can easily forget, but it's an important act of self-love.

We just had an expert on that revealed we're not very nice to ourselves. We're not very self-compassionate at all. We got to get better. It's important. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, making it super convenient for any schedule. Getting started is a breeze. All you need to do is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you're free to switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Let the gratitude flow with BetterHelp.

Visit BetterHelp.com slash DAX to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash DAX. If we did an episode where we got to air one thing about one another that was really inconsequential but that we couldn't accept, would you know what yours would be? Oh my God, that's such a big thing. It is. Lauren. Lauren.

Can you hear us? Yes. Can you hear me? Yes. I'm going to take up two seconds of your time because we're going to have a real life thing in front of you. Okay. Please. So while it was ringing, I said to Monica, let's do an episode where we both air something about one another that's really inconsequential. We shouldn't care, but we want the person to change that. And then you answered. Yeah.

It's like he dropped this huge bomb. He's obviously thinking about it. Yep. Because it just happened. Why won't you put your phone on do not disturb? You know, it won't vibrate if you put it on do not disturb. And I hear it through all the interviews downstairs and I hear it nonstop. It was bringing off the hook yesterday in our back to back interviews. You couldn't ask nicely. I have. No. I have suggested do not disturb many times. You have never said, hey, can you put your phone on do not disturb, please? No.

It's your turn, though.

No, I don't have one. Sorry. Yeah, well, Monica, I'm not a do not disturb girly either. Thank you. Sorry, Dax. I'm going to have to sigh. Oh, I love this. I love the way this went. But Lauren, do you do a show that is audio centric where like audio is kind of important? In Dax's defense, Monica, I do not. In my defense, do you know all the things you do that have to be cut out that are audio? Tell me. Please. Just the other day, he wanted us to hear how close his truck was.

There you go. Thank you. But see, this is great and I'm open to it. That's okay. Tell me. I can take it. We're best friends. You know what it is? My great curiosity is, do you know you can do that? I do, but I don't. What a great defense. I want to know if something serious is happening. I'm kind of scared of it. Are you afraid you'll forget to turn it back on to focus? Because I could remind you at the end of every episode. No, thank you. Okay.

Are you glad you got to be privy to this? Because this is what happens quite often. I don't even have... Oh, yeah, I do. Of course. Yeah, I often see myself as the third party. Love it. Did you think you didn't have it? Is that what you were just about to say? Shut up. Okay.

Lauren, you have a very nice closet. And I'm seeing some kind of snake skinny platform things behind me that are exciting. Oh, yes. Some snake skin booties. My closet, I'm not quite David Beckham level, but I aspire to be. And what I notice you're doing, and I wonder, I want to ask Monica if she does this too, you have one shoe that points out and one shoe that points in. Is that what you do too, Monica? I do. Should I be doing that? Maybe not. Only because sometimes I'm looking for the color of the shoe that I need for the outfit, but also the heel is very important as well.

Okay, that makes a lot of sense. Yeah, am I going one inch, three inch? Where are we at? I also think it just looks cool. Will you feel it's an invasive question if I ask how tall you are? No, not at all. I am 5'3 on my best day. That's lovely. That's a good height.

Minnie and Mighty. That's me. Where are you at in the world? I am from Muskogee, Oklahoma. I'm coming to you from my closet. Wait, isn't there an Okie from Muskogee? Isn't that a thing? Yes, and it's so crazy that you bring that up because we just unveiled a new Merle Haggard statue downtown. That's right. It's a Merle Haggard song. Oh, wow.

An oaky from Muskogee. Do you know that term, Monica? I've heard it, yeah. That's so good. An oaky from Muskogee. Wow. The big joke now is there's a dispensary on every corner here. And so we do smoke weed in Muskogee. God bless those outlaws that were just singing it from the roof. You know, famously, do you know this, Monica? Willie Nelson, when he was invited to the White House, he went up on the roof and smoked a joint. Oh. That's pretty cool, right? That's cool. That is cool. Who was the president? Lincoln. Lincoln.

I would look it up on my phone. Do not disturb now. I bet it was Carter. That's going to be my guess. Maybe Rob will figure that out while we're talking. You're right. Is Carter? Hey, Rob. Hello. It's with his son, Chip. Ah, he and Chip banged a doobie up there on the White House. That's great. Carter was nice. He was a Georgia boy. If there was anyone who would not be bummed when they walked outside to see that weed smoking, it'd be Carter. I mean, we should ask him. Bless him. He's still with us. Yeah, exactly. You're right. Oh, it's incredible. It's really cool.

Okay, Lauren. You got a story for us. You have a crazy ex. Yes. To give you some backstory, this story starts with a teen pregnancy, mine, as all good stories do. Uh-huh. Okay. So I had my son in high school. The guy in this, I'm not going to say his name just to preserve his anonymity. This is my story from my perspective. Things didn't work out with my son's dad. No big deal. He's lovely. Family's lovely. Everything's fine. A year after I have my son, we start to get serious with me and I'll call him my fiance. Not baby's daddy. Not baby daddy.

Different guy. A year after my son's born, me and my fiance, we start getting serious. He had just finished school. I'm finishing school. He had moved about three hours away from our hometown for work, where subsequently my stepdad factors into this. They did the same kind of work. They were there together. Oil and gas? Yeah. Ding, ding, ding. Sarah Paulson. Just listened to her yesterday. The Dust Bowl. Oh, my gosh.

Dingles, dingles, dingles. So end of school, my last semester, I was lucky enough to get everything where it was online. And we had just gotten engaged that Christmas. And so I was like, I'm just going to move there. There's no reason like I can do everything online. School was the only reason why I hadn't moved to be with them already. We've been together for years at that point. My son's two or three. Everything's great. So I move out there. It's a Friday night. I'm getting dressed. Monica, you'll know this. This is 10 years ago. I'm wearing my skinny jeans, my peplum top.

my sock bun ready for date night.

to the local Chili's, might I add. Yeah, baby. I never got that Chili's and I'm still upset about it. Oh, okay. So he comes home from work. He jumps in the shower. You know, he knows the thing is going to change. We're going to go to Chili's. Oh, that's great. While he's in the shower, the doorbell rings. So as I'm walking down the hallway, you can either turn left to the front door or right to the living room. And through the windows of the living room, I see three or four cops through the windows. Oh. And I'm like...

okay. I mean, there's an air force base nearby. I'm like, maybe they're just looking for, I don't know what's going on. You know, I've only been in this town for a couple of months at this point. So I opened the front door to about five, I

Whoa. And so they instantly say, please step outside. And so I'm like, okay, you know, with no shoes on, my peplum top and my socks on. And they are like, is anyone else in the home? I'm like, yeah, my fiance, he's just now getting out of the shower. And as I turn around and tell them that he's rounding the corner, putting his shirt on, he's like, hey guys, what's up? He's like, step outside. Instantly, they separate us where we can't see or hear each other. I'm with one older cop and the other

12 cops are with him. I'm like, you have to tell me what's going on. Like, does this involve me? What is the deal? And he's like, I can't tell you anything. And I keep badgering him. And finally, I'm like, can you just at least tell me if this has anything to do with me? And he says, at this point, I don't think so. I'm racking my brain. I have no idea. Mind you, our wedding is a month away. And so I'm like, what is going on? The dozen of cops and my fiance go stand by the mailbox.

and there's a gray truck that had been parked down the road, but I didn't think anything of it. Just thought it was parked outside of a house. Well, about the time they do that, the guy pulls up, rolls down his window, takes one look at him and said, yep, that's him. They cuff him, put him in the police car. The gray car goes and they leave. They tell me nothing.

And I'm just standing there. I'm thinking they had gotten in trouble on their job site a couple weeks before burying trash or something silly. So I'm like, maybe it has something to do with that. Again, racking my brain. And so I instantly call his brother, which again, it's a Friday night. I call him. He's at a party. I need you to leave. We've got something going on.

I get him up to speed. I'm like, if there's anything that you know, I need you to tell me now. He's just as clueless as I am. I freaked out because his brother just got arrested. So this is where my stepdad comes into play. Again, he's the only person I know. And so I call him. It's Friday. He's already at the bar. He's having a good time.

Friday, big day. And a hard work in town. Yeah. Man, long week, long hours. And so I tell him and he's like, I don't know what's going on. When I saw him, everything was fine. But you know what? I'm at the bar. Come pick me up. Consequently, I'm friends with one of the bail bondsman's that comes to the jail. Oh, wow.

And we can figure this out. So I go and pick him up and he's like, they couldn't tell me. They just told me where he was and that it's a thousand dollars bail. That's mildly comforting. We're not talking murder. That's kind of what I thought. It wasn't even just a thousand dollars bond, thousand dollar bail for the whole thing. So I'm like, okay, get some cash out. We go to the jail.

I walk up there and of course no one's there because it's after hours. They're at the bar and at Chili's too. Exactly. And so I pick up the phone call and this lady answers, hi, I'm here to pick up so-and-so. I have the money. She's like, okay, great. We'll send somebody up in just a minute. You'll sign some paperwork. We'll send him out. I said, okay, ma'am.

could you please tell me what the charges are or what's going on? And she's like, no, I can't tell you that. As he comes walking out again, me and my stepdad in the car, he's then moved to the back seat because he is just Mr. Non-confrontational. He has no idea what's going on. He has nothing to do with this whole situation. So he said, LB, I'll tell you this. Please just don't ask him while I'm in the car. Just take me home and then you can do it. And I'm like, okay. So we take him across town, take him to his house. He gets out.

You're insane.

an angel. Yeah, that's so empathetic and kind. The hours, it wasn't as heightened. And so we get home, he goes to get out of the door and I instantly press the button to lock the doors. I'm like, no way. I can't go into this home with you and just go to bed like nothing has happened until I know what's going on. That's when he lowers his head and breaks down and tells me that for the past year or so, intermittently, not every day, on his way home from work,

Wow. Oh.

Oh, my God. Lauren, what a plot twist. I don't know why. This might be unfair to people with this condition, but when I think of these flashers and the trend, I can't wrap my head around. If I'm filling in the blanks, I'm assuming that person's the weirdest motherfucker and I would be able to detect that.

And that's what everyone always says. You know, looking back, were there any signs? No, I was about to marry this man and be with him for the rest of my life. Everything was great. I had no idea. I am very shocked he admitted to all that, to be honest with you. I'm surprised he didn't go like, this person pissed me off. And I'm like, I'm going to show him my dick. Like, that's pretty wild. He came clean like that. I think it was because, turns out,

They had been looking for him because he had been doing it for so long. And of course, people had gotten his tag number and stuff, but we're not from there. The address and stuff wasn't leading them to anywhere local. Oh, wow. So, turns out there were six felony counts of indecent exposure. What?

And God knows, I mean, because thinking back now, if I saw it, I would just be like, ugh, and keep going. And of course, tell all my friends this crazy story that happened. I'm not going to think to call and report it. So who knows how many times it actually happened. Yeah, what were your follow-up questions? You must have just been dumbfounded. Also, they let him out

for that that quickly? That's weird. They can't hold you. If they set a bail, they set a call. No, I'm saying I'm surprised the bail was set for so low for six felony accounts. He had signed a statement while he was there admitting guilt and remorse for all of it. Of course, I had a ton of follow-up questions. Well,

Why? When? What? Was their reaction ever good? I've read that. What they're after is they like the look on the person's face. The shock. Did he say that? Yeah, he said it was never good and that's what his goal was.

Did he get... Oh, my God. I have so many questions. Ultimately, he was sentenced and he went to prison for a few years. And the last time I have talked to him, seen him face to face, I guess, was through the glass on the phone at the jail, like you would imagine. And this was...

10 years ago. Did you, by the way, I would not be judgmental. In fact, maybe I'd even admire this about you because you could go like, yeah, you need to go get punished, but also you could have compassion for him. I don't want that condition. That's exactly where my head was. It made me feel bad that we were close enough to actually be married and that he felt that

Number one, he couldn't tell anyone, but certainly that he couldn't tell me and think that I wouldn't want to work through this or fix it because now it's a little too late. I mean, again, I have my son. Yeah. I mean, he's a sex offender to be with him. I would have to get married to him like that. I could not see that for myself. I didn't want that for myself. And I like to think that he didn't want that for me either. Yeah. Yeah.

This could be potentially really heartbreaking, Lauren. Like if I was so in love with someone and I found out they had this thing, that would not be easy. It's not like I go like, oh, great. So now I don't feel all the ways I've always felt about them. Looking back, there were never any signs, but it did just cast a shadow on certain things. And I mean, I was 22 at the time. You already had a three-year-old. I mean, you had a lot going on. It's so much on your plate. This is terrible. And I helped him as much as I could, but I kind of had to say no.

Too much for me. I've got to go home. Yeah, you have a bad break. But just from friends of friends, I've heard that he's since then remarried and he seems like he's doing fine and doing great. Keeping his pants on. Maybe, hopefully in therapy. Let's hope. And about a year after all of that happened, you know, I had moved home, started working. And actually me and my son's dad, we rekindled about a year after and we've been together ever since. Oh my gosh!

I love it. Wow. I didn't see that. Delightful ending coming our way. It's a great ending. Kind of like a blessing in disguise for me, at least. Also, you caught it just in time. Yeah. I mean, Monica, I had to call, I mean, all the venues, cancel the cake. I had my huge dress hung up, ready to wear. Oh, my God. It was so good.

It was insane. Although, I will say, normally when you have to call off a wedding, you have to go like, yeah, I just decided I didn't want to be with them forever. But this is like so clean. It turns out he's a flasher. But that is also like you have to tell people and you probably are conflicted. I feel bad for him and now I have to tell all these people he knows. He'd be so embarrassed that everyone knows. Ugh.

Being from a small town, everyone knew we were getting married and then everyone knew we broke up, but no one knew why. So, I mean, maybe someone will hear this and they'll be like...

I get it. I get it. Wow. And you also protected him from not telling everyone. That's very kind. In the end, it all worked out. But yeah, that was a crazy time. I told this story one time at a bachelorette party. We were staying in a cabin in the middle of nowhere and the power went out because it was a rainstorm. They were like, let's tell ghost stories. And I didn't really know all these girls. And I was like, circle up. Let me tell you. I got one. I got a ghost. Circle up. Cool.

Wow. Pull up a chair, gals. That was wild. I really, really hope he's doing okay. From what I hear, I think the system worked in the way that it is ideally supposed to, and he got the help that he needed. And I can only hope that moving forward, he learned his lesson and has gotten over that because I can't imagine. I just might feel more in love with them than I actually was because I wasn't allowed to be with them for a reason that was out of my control. Like, I feel like it's just ripe for that.

I think that made it easier for me not to be kind of vindictive and do things that I probably would have regretted. So I am thankful for that. And he is such a nice, I mean, I was going to marry him. He's a great guy. And I truly hope that all of that got fixed. But I'm just was ultimately sad that he was in that place that,

He felt like he couldn't disclose to anyone. That is one of the things. Our society doesn't really have an outlet for people to go say like, hey, I have these feelings or I'm doing this and I don't really want to be doing it, but I'm doing it. Where can anyone go to do that? And then it perpetuates the problem. It's not good. Let's add that to the list of things to fix. Okay, add it to the list, Ron. Okay.

Well, Monica, add it to the list of your questions to ask any potential suitors. Have you ever thought about showing your penis to strangers ever? Just a little bit. Just once or twice. Well, Lauren, thank you for telling us that. And thanks for mediating our conflict at the beginning. Your story was so good. Now we're feeling good. Yeah. And me too. Well, no. I was hoping that the uplifting end would put a nice little bow on it. All right. Well, be well. Thank you so much. Yeah. Thank you so much. I hope you guys have a good rest of your day. All right. Take care.

Oh my God, that gal is so positive. Don't you think maybe do not disturb is not such a big deal in light of what people are doing out there? My God. I said part of my question was something insignificant you shouldn't care about. So I owned how trivial this is. But you do care. Well, yeah, because it distracts me. I get worried the guest is like, who's ringing this? I'm going to answer that. They don't care. They don't care. No one cares except you. Yeah.

wow that was wild that was wild we got kind of every variety of that if i loved someone that much i wonder what i would stick around for and that's like a scary thing to say out loud but i really could see sticking around for stuff i shouldn't well no no i think the rule is pretty clear it's

Would you stick around as they tackled this problem? I have to really love them, though, because I'm kind of quick to be like, I can't be here for that. That's fair. You would never stick with someone who's not going to address it. But if you love someone and they're going to work their ass off on this thing, I think you would stick around for that. Oof, yikes. Also, if you saw the look on someone you love's face of the shame when they told you, I do think it would be very powerful. Yeah. Yeah.

Again, it's all how they say it. If they get defensive and denying, blah, blah, blah. No. But if someone just has that moment where they come clean and they're full of shame, I think the best part of us would want to help that person figure it out. Yeah. But also, I mean, it depends on your shit. Because she has a kid. Oh, well, that made it very easy. Yes. I agree. Wow. All right. Anyway. I love you. Love you. Do not disturb. Focus.

Do you want to sing a tune or something? We don't have a theme song. Oh, okay, great. We don't have a theme song for this new show, so here I go, go, go. We're gonna ask some random questions, and with the help of our cherries, we'll get some suggestions. On the fly, I rhyme dish. On the fly, I rhyme dish. Enjoy. Enjoy.

Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.

In a quiet suburb, a community is shattered by the death of a beloved wife and mother. But this tragic loss of life quickly turns into something even darker. Her husband had tried to hire a hitman on the dark web to kill her. And she wasn't the only target. Because buried in the depths of the internet is the Kill List, a cache of chilling documents containing names, photos, addresses, and specific instructions for people's murders.

This podcast is the true story of how I ended up in a race against time to warn those whose lives were in danger. And it turns out convincing a total stranger someone wants them dead is not easy. Follow Kill List on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Kill List and more Exhibit C True Crime shows like Morbid early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery+. Check out Exhibit C in the Wondery app for all your true crime listening.