Shannon Sharpe vs Shaq Heated Beef, Vitaly Pedo Hunting, & Seinfeld Commencement Walk Out
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The jobless move that Drake did in this entire beef is going up against the greatest musical producer of our generation, which is Metro. Excuse me, I was not familiar with your game. Metro, I was not familiar with your game. And then when someone put me on and told me that he's basically Dr. Dre now, his solo album went number one. Hit maker, you don't go up against the hit maker in a fucking musical.

music beef. He put together BBL. I can't stop singing it. I'm imagining Drake's ass. Hey, yo. BBL Drizzy. Right, it's unreal. Oh my God. Metro has completely transformed this beef for me. The best bar before Kendrick dropped was Metro Shut Your Whole Ass Up and Make Some Drums. What a fucking idiot. Shut the fuck up and make some drums. The greatest musician in history. You literally are beefing with Beethoven. You're done. There's no reason to

beef against Metro Boomin and Beethoven. We're calling Metro Beethoven. Wait, isn't there a... Oh, no, Zaytoven. Fuck him. With all due respect, you're great, but I needed to say that in that moment. You understand the flow. That was music right there, okay? I'm telling you, this Metro guy...

I'm more terrified of that guy than anybody. That was me, dude. Because when he's getting made fun of, you are like, yeah, how does a producer, how do you win as a producer? Here's a fantastic free beat. Son, there's an Indian girl doing Bharat Nathiam dance over it. It's fucking insane.

That's fire. It's insane, dude. That's fire. She needs a BBL for most likely. I saw Brazilians with BBLs doing merengues. Damn, you gotta say that shit before fucking Vitaly comes on here and starts catching pedophiles. Speaking of, I mean, that would be the greatest prank of all time. Have you seen these guys live streaming and pedophile catching? I want to have a whole other discussion about this on the pod because Mark and I have been going,

It's scary. Yeah. Okay. But they probably banked a few. But the ultimate troll would be showing up to the embassy. Oh my God. That would be the ultimate. Yeah. There've been like four people arrested so far. Have you seen this? No. If they want to get shot, they can show up. Yeah. Okay. Hold on. So let's just go back to this. Okay. Metro Boomin. Now that we know who's the greatest musician alive right now, now that we know that. Yeah. Okay. Listen, listen,

Why didn't y'all tell me? It's crazy that y'all didn't tell me. I mean, he didn't really make the song. I'm sorry. Wait, what do you mean? It was somebody with AI made it. He just added drums on top of it. No, he pulled a sample. He pulled a sample. No, no, no. That was like somebody you remember. You make me hate you. I know. I was just saying. I was like, dude, I really want to just pop this balloon. Yes, I did.

I can't hang on to that. Metro! That was awesome. Metro! Metro! Metro! Metro! Hey, Metro. I don't believe that, Metro. Metro, I don't believe that. I'm 4chan. Whatever 4chan is for Metro, I'm that. QAnon. QAnon, yeah. I'm QAnon for Metro. I believe that you can't make a good song without them. I think Metro is mustard. I don't know the original.

original you think he's also dj mustard on the beat oh if you put that reverse metro that's what it says metro movement is that true yeah is y'all flipping nippers metro everything comes back to metro if you really just reverse it throw some ac on in here metro metro controls all things i'm telling you wait what is the original bbl jersey

Stop hating, bro. It just came out online. There was a bunch of people making a bunch of A.I. songs. He leaked it. He leaked it. And that was a really funny one. Oh, my God. I heard the guy, like the comedian that did the BBL Drizzy song. Yeah. And then he just added some drums to it. So it's like, he plays the original version and then there's a flip and then the beat comes in.

But was the instrumental sample already on the original? Yeah. No, no, no, but the track behind it. Exactly. Now, now. I'm not sure. I know he added beats. Now you're out. But the song, it sounded exactly the same. Yo, yo, yo. Now you're feeling the fire. Now you're feeling the fire. Mark got you in the corner right now. Put the baby reindeer in the corner. You're in the scope right now. Put that baby reindeer in the corner. I'm not sure. I'm going to shoot you. I'm out. All right. All right. That's it. That's it.

I understand now why they say that. So why do people call him Metro Grooming? Have you heard about this? Yeah, there's a lot of tweets. Don't break my fucking heart. You got to defend him, bro. Don't break my fucking heart. Somebody brought this up. Yeah, you want to talk about things you should have been told about. This should have been said at the top of the podcast. This guy don't trust you, bro. Yo, Michael Jackson is the greatest entertainer of all time. He can do no wrong.

When Metro says, give me a hot 16, he didn't mean... Future, find me a hot 16. There's some wild tweets out there we forgot about. You're with the laptop right now. Why are you bringing this up now? Because the songs are good. The songs are good. Wait a minute, hold on. Are you telling me Metro got grooming allegations?

Nah, he's got some tweets that are wild. I think he's trying to be funny. Oh, if he's trying to be funny, let it rip. But it's some wild tweets. Can I see it first before I say things? Can you stop me from saying things that are going to be incriminating? Vitaly's going to walk in the fucking door at any moment right now, okay? All right, so I don't know if these are true. This has just been circulated online. People are pointing these out, so let's just read a couple, shall we? All right.

She might be young, but she ready. I mean, hold on. It gets more damning. This is not good. This is not good. When you collect all the things that people have ever said on one topic, this is what happened to the white guy, James Gunn. Yes. Yeah. The things I would do to Sierra are probably illegal. That's fine. She's of age. Um...

I didn't realize that's how it does. That guy's never been more Indian than this. That guy's never been more Indian. That shit just jumped out of him. He just started laughing. He just started. I had my pedophilia radars up. I wouldn't think about other things. You can only defend one thing at a time. Yeah, yeah.

The pulse to the three. All right, go. Walking through the grocery store with both hands in my khakis like a true pedophile, though. Hashtag no pedo.

Hashtag no pedo. Hashtag no pedo. Hashtag no pedo. Hashtag no pedo on that. What? Now, apparently he was like 15 or 14 or 15 when he tweeted these. Oh, why don't you say that first when you put an allegation on the man? It's called a story, though. I'm building an art intention. This is the greatest musician in the history of the world. He says, I can't be a pedophile at 15. Hold on, hold on. This is the one, I think. There's another one that's... Oh, no, no. Which one? How do y'all know all this? Who's feeding you this information? Y'all part of Drake's camp, aren't you? Find more black people on Twitter.

Let me tell you something. It's very fun to just flip sides every week.

Okay, and y'all don't even know that there was another side and it's called Metro. Yes. You thought it was about Kendrick and Drew. The greatest hip hop commentator in all of entertainment, dude. Let's go. I mean, this is the reality of the matter. You're talking about right now, the Elon Musk of beats. Oh yeah, read that one. If I get a chick that wants me to get her some mollies, is that guaranteed pussy? LOL. Then what's Metro's response? Yes, maybe even for the crew too. LOL, retweet.

But we got to look into that, is it? Got your little sister on the mollies. She done ran through the whole squad. So...

Metro. That's your king, bro. Metro. That's your king. Metro. But if he put that on a beat, how fire, bro. Think about that. Metro. You're going to want some Molly. I'm like, I'm distraught. Molly and Drake, she didn't even know. No, that's what I'm saying. Now it's fire. Now it's fire. How old is Metro? Because we got to see the dates on some of these tweets. I'm distraught. No. All these tweets are 10 years ago. This is 12 years ago. So how old is he? Oh.

So he aged out of rape. Can I tell y'all something? Hey, hey. He was only a 20-year-old when he started. Can I tell y'all something? Can I just say, yo, I'm not so rich. He was 18. He was 18. He was 18. No, here's what I was going to say. I was going to say, if you're 16 and you're trying to be funny, you don't know the consequences of trying to be funny. You're just a kid tweeting. But he's 18 at that point, so that's a little worse. 19, maybe, to be honest with you.

Now your math is working. Not with them kids. Okay. Doing this podcast is like skydiving. You just hope that you have a parachute. I'm trying to help you out, bro. I'm talking about me. Oh, do you also feel like you're skydiving without a parachute? Because that's what I do. I started with the podcast with Metro is the greatest guy in history. Yeah, yeah. You didn't say guy. You said producer, to be fair. Musician. Yeah. Yeah.

Producer of tweets. Drake was comparing himself to Michael Jackson post-allegations. You know what I mean? I'm like he was saying. That's facts. That being said...

Oh my goodness, guys. We have a whole kerfuffle we have to assess. What a day for you, dude. This has been a fucking... I mean, so many things are going on. A lot of people getting exposed the first hour of this podcast. What the fuck is happening in this world? We need Vitaly, dude. Should we talk about Vitaly and how he knows where every pedophile is on the planet?

Yeah, we could. I think we need to have that discussion. Have you seen what's happening? I've seen a couple of videos. Okay, so there's all these guys that are streaming. It's not just one channel. There are all these guys streaming, and they all catch pedophiles, and then they all humiliate them. And I think they just let them go back out there. It's like catch and release. Yeah. So what I'm curious about is why, one, are they not getting arrested? And then two, how do they find them?

Are they baiting them online? I think they're baiting them online. So the way... Catching credit protection. He's kind of cryptic with it. It seems... I've watched a couple of the streams and he doesn't exactly say. I'm assuming because he doesn't want to tip off how he's getting them. Because then if people know, then there'll be less people to get, I guess. I don't know. But it seems like what he's doing is he's going on dating apps as a girl and using girls' photos on dating apps. And then they go on texting and then they disclose that they're underage. And then they text with the people and if they're still down to meet up, that's when they meet up. Hold on.

So they start out as above age. No, I think they just start out and say like, hey, I'm 18 on the dating because you have to be above 18. You start out legit on the dating app. And then you later say that you're actually- Hey, I'm actually 15, but I want to be 18 on the dating app, but I still want to meet people. Do you want to meet up? And then that's when you guys-

Is what I think. This is just based off what I'm putting together through watching. Very interesting. Now, if you're a normal, sane human being, the second a girl says, hey, I lied about my age on the dating app, I'm underage, you immediately cut off communication. What the fuck? You should even light up the account. You should even call the dating app and be like, yo, there's this girl. She's masquerading as like an 18-year-old. What the fuck is going on here? Okay.

but these guys are pedophiles so that's how you find the pedos yeah oh my god so the person who has to have those convos though that's a sicko mode like oh yeah you gotta pretend to be a young girl i mean this is the whole chris talking with fucking weirdos that's the whole chris hands he's a little well he's not actually doing but it's like his maybe you can't arrest them because you were never underage

there wasn't an underage person. They thought they were going to meet up with an underage person. It depends. I looked into it. So like basically, yeah, years ago, 2020, Mark, I'm looking into it. So that's great. I,

I was like, Mark is going to have to describe this. It is impossible for him to not look like one. So, yeah. All right, go. I mean, y'all can describe it. No pedal. There's no pedal. No pedal. And then explain all this. How does this go? No, because I...

I asked him, I was like, son, in order for us to talk about this, we need to know what's going on. So now Mark is forced to figure out the whole fucking scam. I don't want to be this. Yeah, okay. But you forced me to be this. I did, I did, I did. I mean, y'all can explain it if someone else wants to take it. Nah, you got it, my friend. You got it? You got it. No, you got this. You got this. So to get them arrested, they have to express sexual intent.

Oh, okay. So if they just say, hey, you're 15, let's go get pizza. Not illegal. You have to get them to say, you have to get them to like send nudes or have sexual intent. You can go through their bag and see if they have like sexual items on them. But then even that might not be enough to actually prove it in court. So you need them to do some sexual shit on the chat. So none of them. And but okay. So they don't. Some of them do.

But then they have to prove it to the cops and then go through the court of law. Yeah, this is why in To Catch a Predator, they make them bring certain items. Oh, bring condoms, bring condoms. Oh! And they also do it with the police a lot more, the To Catch a Predator back in the day. Yeah.

And a lot of these YouTubers don't. So there's also the problem where they run into it, where they'll be like, arrest this guy. And the cops are like, we don't know what the fuck. Which maybe it should be illegal, though, if you're just trying to meet up with a kid. Always. Like, it's not illegal and it probably should be. It should be illegal. Like these guys, like if you're 40 trying to meet up with a 15 year old for whatever reason. Doesn't matter. Probably go to jail. Go to jail immediately. Unless, I was about to say, unless you're like a religious figure and then it's like.

Actually. Straight to heaven. Yeah. Okay. I think that is their heaven. It is crazy, though, that people are going on these streams. So celebrities that have an album coming out or something they're promoting are going on the live stream to catch the pedophiles. Ryan Garcia was on it. Lil Pump did one. Yeah, I think Bobby Shmurda went on. Yep. Bradley Martin did one. What is happening now?

In content. I can't decide if this is great or bad. Yeah, I know. So here's the thing. It is tricky, right? Because you're like, okay, they are exposing these people that are pedophiles. Yeah. Which we want as many of those castrated done. Yeah. But if they're not getting arrested, then is it something that's just being done so that you can make money? So now you're using the worst possible thing in the world, which is the molestation of children as

as content and views for your own monetization strategies. And not necessarily even getting these guys thrown in prison. If they all went to prison or even like a good amount of them, I'd be like, hey, this is fucking awesome. But if none of them go to prison and you just make money. Some of them got arrested. Some of them do get arrested. Yeah. But some are getting away with it. This is actually, there's a guy, I looked into this last night. There's a guy named Kyle Swanson who's,

being he did this he used to catch these there's a bunch of them a bunch of them he looked at he looked at you know he could have bailed you out very important there's this guy that he would catch these people and then what was happening is they weren't getting arrested they go home and delete all of their their backlogs and everything which makes it harder for the police so the police actually told him to stop doing it oh he's

He didn't stop doing it, and the police had to get him for obstruction of justice because they were on a case of a guy that he also was on the case of. That guy deleted everything he had.

And now there's less evidence. So the argument that I would make if I'm defending the streamers is even if they don't get arrested, we're putting them out here. Their pictures are out there. Everybody knows who they are now. You can put them on like chat rooms and Facebook groups, et cetera. So everybody in these cities can be like, oh, my God, that was my neighbor. This motherfucker likes kids. I got to keep them away from my children. They'll get fired from their jobs. So that's me if I'm defending the streamers. Mm-hmm.

So even though they don't get arrested, they get humiliated. And some do get arrested. I watched some of the streams where some of them got arrested. But they're not, they get charged, I don't know. But some of them do get arrested. They're at least arrested, but they might not even end up going to jail. Life tour announcement. Next week, we're back in Abu Dhabi, okay? The Etihad Arena, once again, we're rocking it. I will see you all there. Not only am I looking forward to...

Etihad, the Etihad Arena show being back in Abu Dhabi. I'm looking forward to that flight, that A380, the Airbus. They got like a little bar area in the back. It is kind of wild. It is kind of wild. I think I'm going to need to force Dove to get an upgrade that he pays for himself. So I have someone to hang out in the back of the bar. I had nobody to talk to back there. So I went back quickly. But it is a sick, yeah, it is a sick, it is a sick plane. So shout out to Etihad Airlines. We need a jacuzzi next.

Etihad what else can we put in there can we have the hookah lounge what else I don't know if we want smoking on a plane that might be terrifying but I think we need to figure out what else we could put into Etihad how do you take it to the next level what else do you have in the plane f1 simulator now we're talking massage area bring the masseuses on the plane just little things we can think about but anyway shout out to Etihad y'all got a great product that's crazy um

Also, the life tour, uh, Atlantic city, man. Thank y'all so much for selling out the show at the end of the summer. Uh, we are adding another one. So we're adding a second date. Uh, very excited about that. We have more dates that are up right now. Uh, I will see you guys at a rancho mirage. Uh,

The Agua Caliente Casino, that's going to be crazy. A bunch more dates that are available for you guys to go get tickets for those that are not sold out yet. Man, thank you guys so much for buying all these. And TheAndrewSchultz.com. Go grab them. We'll see you soon. Peace. Also, guys, dates real quick. First of all, big announcement. I'm going to be in Abu Dhabi during Abu Dhabi Comedy Week, May 26th at...

At the Sadiat Rotana Resort and Vias in Abu Dhabi. I don't know if I said that correctly, but I will be there. Also May 31st and June 1st, St. Louis. June 7th and 8th, Indianapolis. June 21st and 22nd, Raleigh, North Carolina. June 28th and 29th, Buffalo. July 26th and 27th, Jacksonville. September 6th and 7th, Vegas. September 12th and 13th and 14th, Miami, Florida. Guys, get your tickets for those shows and more at akarsingh.com. We're going to keep adding. We are not fucking stopping.

Stopping, guys. We're going to keep going. I'll see you out there. AkashSingh.com. I saw a clip from one where they caught the same guy. Like multiple times? One streamer was like, oh, yeah, I caught that guy last week. And then Vitaly was on a stream and got the same guy. So they're not doing that good of a job keeping him off the streets. And then we have to have that conversation where it's like you're not keeping him off the streets and you're just making money off it. Are you making money off of...

Child porn? Like, it's kind of what it is, right? I mean, it's not actually the sex of children, but it is the idea of it. It's a little licky.

Just a little bit. Yeah. If the guys get arrested, fantastic. Are they donating the proceeds in any way to like stop this? Like is there some sort of contribution to fight the child sex trafficking? Human trafficking, yeah. And then some of them even have a case against them. So like if they're like shaving their eyebrows and like shaving their heads and punching them in the face. Love this. That's fun. And then that's battery.

Yeah. So now they're getting in trouble or like they're keeping them in a place and they're not letting them leave false. Oh, wow. So it's like, that's why Chris Hansen's whole thing was like, you're allowed to go anytime you want. Right. Because he can't be liable. You know why he got off the air? Chris Hansen. Wow. He killed himself in 2007 after being on the show.

And it went back that it was the show set him up to kill himself. He wasn't actually a pedophile? He possibly was. It never went to court at that time. I'm fine with that, bro. I ain't feeling bad about some fucking pedophile shooting himself. But it was a $100 million suit. And that's what some people are saying. Judges and cops are saying. Who sued? The estate, I imagine. His family? That's crazy. His pedophile protecting family? Yeah.

I don't know, but they're saying these YouTubers could be held liable. They just wanted to break. Yeah, that's fucking crazy. These YouTubers could be held liable if something were bad to happen to the person after. This one is crazy. This is one of the things that happened. So they catch this guy. I don't exactly remember what they wanted him to do or what exactly his charge was necessarily, but this guy was supposed to meet up with a kid.

And this is a random passerby that pulls up and he's like, yo, this is a pedophile of a towel. He's like, yeah, there's a pedophile. And then the dude just does this. Oh, he's dead. No fucking way. You guys just fucking did that. Why is it no fucking way? Do y'all not want to do that? You see someone trying to meet up with a child. You don't feel inclined to punch them. Yeah. Why is that guy surprised?

Yeah, I don't know. Isn't that the right reaction? Like, what world are we living in right now? They're all like, hey, we got to keep running the numbers up. So they don't touch the guys at all. Like, what I see a lot of them do, they'll, like, spray confetti on them and stuff like that. I'm like, this is just silly. Apparently that guy, there were claims that he died on the way to the hospital. Oh! And then Vitaly went on Twitter and was like, no, he didn't die.

But I haven't been able to find legit confirmation either way. So Vitaly's claiming that he didn't die, but he did get arrested. Yo, if I'm the streaming company, whatever they are, I kick. I'm like, yo, we got to make a real contribution to stop sex trafficking on behalf of the streamer. If a lot of our streamers are going to do this type of content, they're going to be

They need to make sure that they're being... 60% at least got to go to... Something benevolent. There has to be benevolence and care behind this. Just link up with the police. So apparently police departments in specific cities are asking them not to do this because a lot of these people will get caught and then they just get released. And then like Miles was saying, they go home and delete all their stuff. And then they're more slick with it and they're able to abuse more people. Yeah.

So I just work with the actual police. But low-key, it makes me think, like, the fuck the police doing? If it's that easy... If it's that easy and you can't get these guys, they're not doing shit. But they also can't build cases. The police basically are like, yeah, these people can catch them, but they're not building, like, actual evidence and cases against them. They can't, like, they have to go subpoena all their... That's right. Proving guilty. So you got to have enough to prove... Because you can get a guy to show up, but you then have to go into the courtroom, say, look, he did this. We have...

the X amount of terabytes of X and try.

or whatever it might be. Nobody tried putting it over a mustard beet? Because that shit works. That shit could convince me of anything. Damn near. Metro. No, mustard. Wait, what do you mean? Mustard is the guy... I know, but he was saying you were giving Metro all the credit. No, but I've switched already. I'm talking about Not Like Us. Metro's on a Vitaly video. Not Like Us. Not Like Us is the pedophile song, right? Yeah. Yeah.

They're not like us. They're not like us. LA is fire, dog. Kendrick changed my whole perception of LA. I went there this weekend. I was like, yeah, this place is great. I never thought that the whole time. I lived there for two years. This time I went, I was like, man, this is a great city, dude. Pedophiles are in Toronto now. We're good here. You know what I mean? Goddamn, bro. We're good. Who's a pedophile? Allegedly, people in Toronto.

People? People. There's a whole embassy. Who? Who? Who? Okay, so what does Drake do right now? One idea was Drake should drop a song on BBL Drizzy.

Yeah, he just needs a hit. And BBL Drizzy. Is a hit. And then I saw F.A. post this, and F.A. was like, he should just flip BBL to Bad Bitches Love Drake. Yeah. BBL, Bad Bitches Love Drizzy. Oh, yeah. And use the beat, so you're leaning into the jokes that people are making. And then, unfortunately, he might just have to say, I fucked all these guys' girls, and that's why they upset. Because I think at this point, it seems to me at this point, maybe...

It seems like he's just trying to fuck everybody's girl. Put it that way. Yeah, that's what I've heard. And if you are that type of dude, and you're doing it specifically because it's a domination thing over the man, you're not going to curry favor amongst the community. I've heard it's not even just rappers. It's anybody he meets. It could be a fucking executive at a bank that he's working with. If he got a wife, I'm going to try to fuck this guy's wife.

or girl whatever this is allegedly the Bobby Alton thing that's sick bro oh wait a minute tell me this is like the rumor with this again no one knows but like she does the pod with him they're in the bed together doing the pod right goes crazy viral and then she breaks up with her husband shortly thereafter

And then there was all this speculation that he, like, smashed and it caused an issue with the relationship. Hang on. No one knows if this is true, but this is, like, the rumor on the internet. Oh, wow. Also, the guy filed for divorce. What? The husband filed for divorce. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, so, yeah, listen, it just seems to me, like, when everybody in the industry, not a single person will stand up for you. So not one person has, like, spoken out. Nope.

To me, that means you don't have a lot of people in the industry that care about you winning. Yeah. Everybody seems to want a feature from Drake. Yeah. So I'm like, how has he not built up this great rapport with everybody? He's handing out features to everybody. They get these number one singles. I'm looking at this from the outside. I mean, I'm a total casual. Yeah.

But I'm like, wow, this is fucked up. This guy puts so many people on and nobody's standing up for him. Like, this is crazy. And then I started to hear little rumblings and I'll protect some sources of like,

this type of behavior, which is like, how do I, how do I smash that? And apparently he'll kind of do you dirty on a deal sometimes, but also that's fair to me to a degree. To a degree, if you're that big and you're helping out this guy, you can at least expect some level of, all right, he's going to be a little whatever. To get to the top, a lot of times people have to have a singular focus of self and that is beneficial in their behavior.

in their efforts to reach, you know, the peak, the zenith, if you will. But,

But that does come at a cost. It comes at a cost of when you're being attacked, people remember those times where you only thought about yourself. Well, again, the deal thing, I think, I think most of us would be like, whatever, dude, he's the fucking, he's a billionaire, he's the biggest artist in the world, whatever. I think where people start jumping off board is, okay, you're going to do them grimy in a deal, fine, but if you're trying to holler at a dude's wives, if you're ruining marriages, just like, you're Drake, you could fuck a lot of unmarried girls. I also think the community finally understands

Well, hip hop finally like looked at all Drake's actions and all the things you guys said, but plus him like...

jumping out of different genres and roles and like accents and Kendrick Atlanta dude they're not like us the most damning thing that's like oh this is just I don't need evidence for this is the Atlanta thing yeah when he's just like you just use these Atlanta rappers to get your currency up you're a colonizer that was the one where you're like oh fuck he's providing evidence on all of this and it's like we've seen it we've seen his accent change but it's like we just like

excuse it because the song's hot. So just like, eh, whatever. But like, if you really just start to see how often he switches from this role to that role to this accent to that accent. But he's, the accents and changing is one thing for sure, but he's not the first artist to like pocket the,

who are popping and elevate themselves in that way. That is a common trend just with artists. Jay-Z did this better than anybody in history. But he remained Jay-Z while doing it. But think about it. Jay-Z, by himself, with all due respect, the greatest at the craft, has never been like him. As big.

he's never been an arena act. Like he could do the arenas in New York. He could do it. But whenever he did the big tour, it's all right, I'm gonna bring Justin with me or I'm gonna bring Gabe with me. I'm gonna bring whatever. He is the master at like finding heat and then bring himself alongside. And what he provides is the stamp of cool. Jay-Z is cool. Like that is what the world sees him at. He is the best at the craft and everybody wants to be associated with that. But if he sees Justin rumbling, he's like, all right, let me get this motherfucker right here. So,

I think Drake has also done a brilliant job of building people up in that way. Yeah. But there's, it's the reverse in that Jay is kind of using, he's trying to get white fans and making himself more marketable and white people don't care about that. I,

Jay's done it with black people too. But Jay is a drug dealer from Bed-Stuy. You're not going to tell Jay he didn't grow up in the culture. Whatever 90s hip hop culture was, that motherfucker lived it. My initial feeling on Drake was, oh, this seems like a... I'm a kid who grew up in White Suburbs. And I said this to y'all, you were gone.

I saw him as a black kid who grew up in white suburbs and I saw the way white people treated those black guys often. And you could tell the ones that were like really enjoying it and soaking it up. And then I would see those same guys with my black friends who grew up, grew up with black people. And they would be like, no, I don't know about this guy. Drake seemed to do that, but then kind of like help these guys out so that enough black people, he got enough cosigns that black people were like, oh yeah, it's fine. I think a little part of that also is that there are three cultural hubs for hip hop music.

And they are New York, California, and Atlanta. Now, that's not to say that Houston, it's not to say that New Orleans haven't had moments, but we're talking about the cultural hubs that define the genre of rap. It's LA, New York, Atlanta.

Toronto, because Drake is the biggest artist in the world, especially in the genre, has built up so much cachet. But it was never a director of cultural within rap. So Drake very intelligently has built those ties to Atlanta. He obviously built with Houston and even built, I think, in LA, right? I mean, like there's guys that he connected with. Definitely even connected in Chicago when Chicago was having that moment, right? So he very intelligently was like,

I need the stamp of approval from the cultural movers, the real people who are shaking the world of hip hop. Drake defines hip hop in a lot of ways. And there's so many people trying to be Drake, but I wouldn't say the city of Toronto defines hip hop. Does that make sense? Whereas like Future, like I imagine Future is bigger in Atlanta than any artist, right?

You know what I mean? Like he has the influence. He's bigger than Drake in Atlanta. Yeah. God in Atlanta. Yeah. And like, same with Kendrick, like Kendrick in LA, like, so I, so I think it was a smart move, but also a necessary move. Like, imagine you're this person who's complete outsider and like what he's done in terms of building up Toronto and the scene and thinking of it as a place for music, um,

It's amazing. And it doesn't hurt the fact that the biggest pop artist in the world, The Weeknd, is also from Toronto at the same fucking time. So Toronto's definitely having a moment. But I think in terms of the way the culture moves, he was very smart to partner with these people. Yeah. He needed that. No, nobody said it was dumb. Yeah, I just wish he stayed himself. Like, when he first came out, he was like...

vulnerable, kind of nerdy dude that sang and then all of a sudden around like, if you're reading this too late, all of a sudden he's a gangster.

And like he kind of- I think that's where people were like, you're not this guy. That's where they feel like it's vulture-y. I guess I'm such a casual. I didn't know that he tried to present himself as like a tough guy. He's always singing and shit. Like I didn't know that- He's like talking about getting people touched. Like he became a gangster. And I'm not even going to say that he's not because I hear stories in Toronto where it's like him and his crew-

if they want to do something, they'll do something. But people just look at it like, who are you? You're not that guy. You just were upset at people making fun of you for so long that it's like now you became the villain.

Interesting. And I think he'll do that with everything, even when he was doing Afro beats and all that. And now, why are you talking Jamaican? Or Jamaican accent. But then people were like, no, that's really how he talks. He was just hiding it for so long in the beginning so he can break through into the American market. So we get introduced to him with a fake voice,

And now when he starts talking regular, we're like, yo, what is this shit you're doing? Well, there's also the video. This is what people are... Another thing people are hating on is the video of him on some reality show with white people talking about how ignorant the Toronto slang is. He's like, that's ignorant to me. So we don't know the real you. That's what I'm saying. Nobody knows the real you. Even the thug shit, I've heard Drake will have his people get at you. You go to LA, they're like...

Kendrick is a guy by himself. He don't, I mean like- Nah, if you're a boss, like you're not getting your hands dirty. I guess, I just, I guess too, again, a suburb kid who reads him as a suburb guy. Mm-hmm.

We can hire people to do things for us. That doesn't mean we're doing things. You know what I mean? Like, you got money, you can get... I could be a boss if I got money. That's just hiring goons. It's not like you grew up in it. You represent a thing. Yeah, he didn't put work in, but... Put work in, that's what black people say. I knew there was a black people thing there. He is just way more gangster than he used to be. And so we just seen, I guess, finally...

holding the mirror up to who Drake actually is. And now we don't know. And now I think that's why people are just like, ah, I don't think we like this guy. I wonder if there's a little bit of it like he's someone who is an outsider to hip hop just by nature of like how he grew up and where he's from. Just by being from Canada. That's it.

And he just put out such fucking incredible music over and over and over again that the people are just like, hey, we got to give it up. This guy's fucking nice at rapping. Amazing shows. Like, he's just the best. But there's that little piece of the American fan base, the American hip hop fan, this like, he's not...

He's not really us, but he's so nice we got to give it up. But the second he gets knocked off the pedestal, all those people were like, see, I knew it. You know what I mean? It's a little bit of that, but then also when he does the things like sleeping with somebody's girl. Exactly. You're not building up any protection. Beefing with Meg or whatever stuff. It's like, yo, wait, don't beef with somebody from our culture. Remember who you are. You're an outsider. He's a beloved outsider. According to Kendrick, he's a fan.

Yeah. So you're, if you're a beloved outsider and you're on top and people are like tolerated because they can't deny it. The music is so fucking good. Yeah. But every misstep, they are there to remind you that you're a fucking outsider. Taking shots at Meg was wild. Also, he has lied about, dude, everybody in Kendrick's camp. And then you talk to some people out in LA, anybody that knows anything about it is like, no, that daughter is a real.

They're like, I'll die on that. That daughter's real. So if we find out he lied about that, he lied about Adonis at first, he lied about Ghostwriters at first. If he's lying about this, how do we believe anything you lie about? He lied about leaking the information. He was like, we leaked that information to you on the hard part six. Apparently that's a lie. Academics said that wasn't true. So at what point is everything about you fraudulent and we can't believe a fucking word that comes out of your mouth ever? It's tough. If that daughter shit is real and it leaks...

That's a real problem. How do you prove the daughter? That's the thing. Paternity test? She would have to come out for seven years or whatever. She's 11 at 18. She could be like, fuck whatever bag my mom got. This is what happened to Jerry Jones. Jerry Jones paid off some like airline gate attendant or something that he got pregnant. Oh, but the kid did not pay off. Gave her a crazy bag to keep quiet. And then the kid is suing. She's like, I

That was in utero when she made that deal. I had nothing to do with that deal. Not only was I not 18, I was not even born. So I want to be a part of this family. Fuck you. And that's a smart move. Now the kids want rights. Come on, bro. Fetus is done. I'm trying to get you kids to. Come on.

Yeah, but that could theoretically happen. I mean, by that point, it'll be so far gone, it's not even like a, maybe it won't matter. Or it could be some diddy shit. Yeah. The Drake thing of also sleeping with everyone's girls is so smart because the guys won't say anything. Yeah. This is what he said last time. Is that what you're saying? And it was a great point where you look at the guy and be like, man, these just bitches. They're just hoes, bro. You really care about these hoes? And then you can't, as a rapper, be like, no, I had feelings for them. Yeah, I really loved them. That still bothered me. Like, Wayne's girl while he was in prison? Crazy.

That's the guy that put you on. Even if it's just one of his girls. And let's put it this way. It's fucked up with her, too. Oh, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, don't fuck. But hoes gonna be hoes so I couldn't blame Tammy. I know. What's that? That's the Wayne bar, which people, I think, are saying that. It's about, hoes gonna be hoes so I couldn't blame Tammy. But he says in the video where he acknowledges that happened, he's like, she tries to text me. Don't get at me. Yeah.

me yeah yeah nobody even if she throws it at you you go yo you are my man's girl get the fuck out of here get the fuck away from me yeah he's probably got a little sex addiction situation going on listen power manifests it's like a hunger for power manifests itself in different ways and he presents himself as like this really just kind of like smart composed like thoughtful businessman right outside of the character that is the rapper right and

All the business deals are like fucking amazing. So funny when he wants to be funny. Like very savvy how he maneuvers all of it. Yeah, he's fantastic. But that maniacal drive might present itself somewhere. And if you're fucking your friends' girls, you're not fucking them for them, by the way.

because there's tons of bad bitches you're not just doing to get a nut you are doing it you're fucking your man yeah that's what you're doing you're fucking your man it it's it sounds crazy yes diddy but it sounds crazy but that's what it's about it's like like fucking him over or just like wanting to have something over him but i don't think he's i'm thinking about no no no you're not like sexually it's like i'm gonna emotionally fuck you

I'm going to do something that I know that I'm going to have over you forever. You're going to think about me for the rest of your life. And it's what he jumps to in every song. I'm dominating you. And if you can't control that compulsion...

It's also his go-to in, you know, hey, Whitney, holler at me. I'll treat you better when I do whatever. It's like, yeah, that's his go-to thing. And then I was like really thinking about it. I was like, he doesn't really have too many things he can talk about because if he doesn't truly know who he is, like what more can you say in rap about bragging about money and fucking girls?

girls well the Drake even as a Drake hater the thing I could never deny when he started is he's like rapping about being heartbroken and shit like that and again in the beginning I was like well I can't live through this so it's not for me but God bless you that's like a thing rap could have probably used I'm telling you and then it all those girls that broke his heart in the beginning turned him into a fucking psycho it is their fault I was trying to blame him I was crazy I was pussy loose for three decades I mean I'm fucking my friends girls he was a little resentful

I'm not sure. I'm fucking my friend's girl. But I think that played a little bit of part. Because women, I feel, in the beginning of Drake's career, he used to be a joke. You remember how girls used to talk about Drake? No, explain. Like, I feel... Sorry, to add to this, you know this meme. Drake, the type of dude who... The N-word, but Drake, the type of dude who...

doesn't bend his knees when he ties his shoes. It was like all these really funny things. Women used to look at him as like soft and like a beta male. So I think he, that bothered him of looking that way. And then he like started living the lie and became now, now I'm fucking all you. I'm getting back at all women. You should have leaked his dick 10 years ago. I would have shut everyone up, bro. You would have seen it. Every girl would be like,

I'm surprised it didn't leak before because he sends it up. Well, apparently, well, Kettering in his I didn't know that, but in his Meet the Grinch video. Prosthetic. It's a prosthetic. To make it look smaller. No way. Like an optical illusion? Yeah. Prosthetics to make it look smaller. It's like one of them clown house mirrors or whatever. They do that to make it look tinier.

And skinnier. No way. Snapchat should make that filter. That is from Snapchat. What? It's one of those filters. It's even bigger. So you can have a really tiny looking dick. He's got Spanx for his dick. Yeah, didn't you think that his dick looked really like malnourished?

Didn't y'all think it looked malnourished when you saw it? Compared to this. You want to give it 10 cents a day? Why are there so many bugs flying around this dick? It needed unisex, bro. Dick make Afrobeats. No, but it's so tiny. All right, guys, let's take a break for a second because today we are going to help you

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Get Helix. Better sleep starts now with Helix. Let's get back to the show. Something else you said dropped today that... Yeah, apparently this dude... Said he actually fed Drake fake information on Kendrick. Yeah, apparently...

What was his name? I forget his name, but Drake was like, Whitney, you guys, you and Whitney are having problems. The kid might not be yours. He paid some other guy 100K for info on Kendrick, and the guy was like, hey, him and Whitney are having problems, and the kid might not be his. And then Drake ran with that, and then the guy just made it up. He said, I was laughing at him the whole time that song came out.

According to this tweet, I didn't listen to the whole thing. It's due Cooley Bravo. Apparently he's like cool with Kendrick. He did a recent interview. It's got like 3 million views on Twitter right now. Drake paid him 150K for information on Kendrick's wife, Whitney, and admits he gave Drake false information. He says he was laughing when he heard Family Matters. Now if I'm Kendrick, I'm tight about that.

Yeah, the whole world thinking that my wife did this thing because of the fake information that you leaked. But he also put it out in Euphoria. Wouldn't you be upset if you're... In Euphoria, he said, you're going to make up lies on my family. It just ended up proving him right. So I think he was like... I don't think the perception is that at all. Yeah, and he was saying lies about his family based off of stuff that came out in his latest album. Oh, Mr. Morales. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't think he didn't think he was going to go there with it. Maybe not. And I don't know if he's a Kendrick friend or what. I mean, like, let's just say you, you,

release information fake information yeah to my op and they wrote a song about it would never be that i'd be like bro why'd you release that say yeah you know what i mean say my dick is too big exactly that yeah that one it hurts everyone yeah it can't fit in anywhere it's so big put it into a potted plant yeah say that but nah i think it's cap until i see some proof like let me see either bank transaction or some text like yo whatever i need to see some

That's fair. Because he asked what he said about Drake saying he fed it to Kendrick. He's like, you don't have any proof. So that's fair. Yo, it's beef season, yo. Yeah. Everyone's mad. Who are you beefing with? Everybody. Son, we're not beefing with nobody. We just... You need to start. We got to protect our... No. Should we start? We're J. Colin, dog. We're J. Colin. Ugh. No, no, no. We're protecting our peace. I'd rather you be a pedophile.

We got to protect our peace. Can we talk about Shaq Diesel and Uncle Shannon going at it? Yeah. I don't like this. Okay, so what happened with Shannon? Shannon said some shit about Shaq?

He told me on game. I didn't hear him. When it comes to Shaq, every man. I just. Yeah. So basically Shaq said to Nicola Jokic on an interview after he won the MVP, I thought Shaq should have won it. I'll be honest with you. I think you're great. I just thought Shaq, Gilgis, Alexander or whatever, Shaq should have won the MVP. And then Shannon, I guess he basically said about Shaq,

So he was jealous. Yeah, you're jealous. You don't like... You didn't have the low post moves that Nikola had or whatever. And then Shaq just went bonkers on him. Just dunked on him. He went shaking. I mean... Can I see some of the dunking? Because I didn't... OKC was the number one seed. Yeah. Shaq is the best player on the team. He had a remarkable season. Yeah. Like...

I don't think it's a crazy hot take to think that he should have won MVP. Yeah. Yeah. Right? I think this is, it's funny, people are saying it was racist to give Nikola the MVP this year. I think they made up for the fact that they gave Joel Embiid the MVP last year because everybody was saying it's racist how he always wins MVP. Then we watched the playoffs play out and we were like, why the fuck did Joel Embiid get the MVP? This is idiotic. So I almost think writers are like, fuck, we owe him one. And then maybe, I didn't watch nearly as much basketball this year, but

That does happen, though. That happened with Jordan. When I think it was Karl Malone won the MVP. It's like no time when Jordan is in the league and we're not counting the Wizards should any other player get an MVP. Not even close. It's not even a conversation. But you get fatigue from the constant dominance. Voting fatigue. Yeah, it's just like, okay, we're looking for someone else to be great in this moment. It's not to say Karl Malone wasn't great.

Vitaly should have done a stream about him probably. But the reality is, is like, no, no one's coming close to it. And I don't know. I got to watch more. I got to watch more of Jokic. Third MVP in four seasons. I mean, he's just so fucking good.

And like not exciting necessarily, but just plays at his, they say that about Luca, plays at his own pace. I feel like Nicola is just calm. There is no franticness about it whatsoever. And he's going to make the right decision.

A thousand times out of a thousand and one. And the team dominates. He's got every skill on offense. Works his ass off. Yeah, they're the best. Even coming back against Minnesota, it's too all now. We thought they were dead in the water. And then you just watch the game. Nah, they're cooking. Did you read their messages back and forth to each other? Nah, just like, you took me sticking up for Shies as jealousy of Joker shows how smart you are.

Remember, if you're not ranked in the top 10 of your profession, you can't speak to me. Don't forget how I know what you did to get to where you're at. Me jealous sounds like you're jealous. I know you're trying to stay relevant by gossiping on your podcast. Four rings, three finals MVPs, top 50, top 75. Google me. And to be frank, it just goes on and on and on. Most dominant ever. And then...

Shannon responds and he's like, I love you Shaq, but damn, you need to get some thicker skin. Don't take offense to everything. Then just say stuff like four rings. It's an argument of a 10 year old. No wonder Phil talked about how much you had to accommodate you and your feelings. With that being said, you're a generational whiner. This man child needs therapy. You don't see any of this big man counterparts belittling previous and future generations to stop with insecure bullying. It's fucking embarrassing for a 50 year old man. Don't forget you told me

that you're still illiterate and you can't last more than 30 seconds in the bedroom. That's why your ex-wife wasn't in love with you. Damn, Shannon. Son. Son. This is fucking drinking Kendrick right here. And then apparently, apparently Shaq dropped a disc track. Yeah. Yeah. What is happening? When the fuck did all this happen? I ain't been here about nothing. Shan, you're wrong, bro. I'm just kidding.

I feel like you're biased. I feel like you're biased. I'm not biased at all. What are you talking about? I feel like you're biased. You are wrong, Shaq. You are wrong, bro. Shaq the motherfucking goat, the most dominant ever. I love you, Shaq.

Until Shannon, you say something really nice and beautiful. Oh no, Shannon, sure, man, you ain't beneath me. You're holding me to respect every new rapper beefy. It's soft before you get fly, you'd rather tweak me. I was in three different cars when you was in three feet. All I see is dollar signs, they come in in 3D. Niggas hot, ain't nowhere around my degree.

Yo, remember what I said about Metro earlier?

I feel that way about Shaq now. Shaq might be the greatest musician in history. Shout out Shaq. You got the best opinions. You're the best at basketball. I feel like you're only saying this because Shaq said that you're the Shaq of comedy. He did? Yeah. Get out of here. That's what Shaq said. No way. No, Shaq said that about me. He said that, yeah. He just made me only last 30 seconds in bed. Shaq, we got so much in comedy.

comment that you don't even realize. Mr. Timby. It's crazy. You are Timby. I'm telling you. We are one in the same, my brother. We are one in the same. You changed the game because of us. No, but that was fire. That was fire. No, no. Shaq's a fucking man. Shannon out his goddamn mind.

Why is everyone so mad right now? Why is everyone beefing? I love it. I think there's just... Cat Williams changed the multiverse? Yeah, it might have. I mean, there's just value in it. Once you see that that's what... Once you see that that's what people are watching and that's what people are rewarding, you're like, okay, that's how I'm going to go about my career to get where I want to get. It's the new crowd work. Do you know what I mean? It's a bunch of people going like, oh, this is what I can do to get where I want to go. And...

Now, I mean, the game started a beef with Rick Ross. I saw two meme pages. Beefing. Posting each other's follower counts going down. They're like, isn't it amazing? What is happening? I love this energy. Just call the shit out. We got to beef with someone then. Let's not walk around on egg shows. Let's call the shit out. The Jews. What's up, Jews? Should we beef with all? Let's do it. Wait, is that bad? You are. Say what you want, Al. Beef.

Talk that shit about Mandy. Oh, I'm healed. Talk that shit about Mandy in her studio. No, no, no. Talk that shit about Mandy in her studio. We're in a great place now. Yo, stop walking on air.

on eggshell come on now yo come on let's just be real let's be yo let's be real you know what i mean yeah yeah we did it already we showed you how to do it hit take the reins see see okay what else we got my boys i mean we got a portal in nyc to go to a bad neighborhood oh in ireland before we do that before we get to that can i just say that um

I might have been wrong about Seinfeld, y'all. I might have been wrong about Seinfeld. Did he say something nice about you in a podcast? No, no, no, not at all. But despite him being very rude to me. Yeah.

At our one chance encounter. Could have had a horrible day. You know what I mean? Just could have had a bad day. A lot of things go on in people's days. This is pretty reasonable. It's pretty reasonable. Like 15, you know, whatever. But despite that, you know, I'm like, listen, everybody deserves a second chance.

So Neil was like, hey, I'm going to have Seinfeld on the pod. Can we use the studio? And I was like, of course you can use the studio. That'd be an awesome interview. I love you. And I think that you guys have a really interesting conversation. They had a great pod. And then Seinfeld did this commencement speech for Duke.

And there's a bunch of these kids walking out because there's a Jew on stage, which is crazy. It's really crazy. It's funny. All these people felt this way about Jews probably October 6th.

But they were too pussy to say anything about it. And they're almost like using October 7th as a way to just be anti-Semites. Like I could just see some of the people booing him just because they're against what the Israeli government is doing over there. I don't think everybody booing him is because they're an anti-Semite.

That's just... No, no, I'm not saying that. I'm not saying... Like I said, there have been people that are consistent throughout this whole process. And there are people that have either latched onto it and are using it because it satisfies their anti-Semitism that they already have. And there are other people that are latching on just because they need a new identity. And the people who've been consistent throughout the whole time, I'm not critical of them. You have an opinion. Maybe we agree or disagree on it, but you've always felt this way and you took the heat for feeling this way. You took it.

The other people, they were too much of a fucking coward. They were too much of bitches to actually take the heat. They were like really quiet. They're like, I'm not going to say anything because what will the people on Twitter say? Maybe I'll lose followers. Maybe people won't watch my show. They were too pussy to share their opinions. All of a sudden now, now that there's views in it, now that there's clicks in it, now that there's ad revenue in it, now that the numbers are up, now you're talking about it? Nah, you're a grifting ****. You're a grifting ****.

So if some of these people had signs that said Blue Devils on it, that seems anti-Semitic. That's funny. It seems pretty fucked up. That's great. Isn't that fucked up? That's convenient. That's fucked up. That is convenient. Calling them the Blue Devils. That is great. For those of you who are foreign, the Duke Blue Devils, that is their mascot for the team. We got to start calling it. That's fire.

Dude, if you're a little anti-Semitic... What happened to Globalist? We really dropped that. Oh, we got to bring back Globalist. Yeah, Globalist is fire. Anyway, his speech was actually really good. Yeah. I thought his speech was really cool. Maybe there's like a... My wife sent it to me on TikTok, but I'm sure there's like a longer version of it. But he just talked about like the three things in life that he's... His three like lessons for life. I thought they were really good. His pod with Neil was really great too. Say again? His pod with Neil was really good. So yeah, maybe I was wrong. Yeah.

I basically said, though, like... I'm willing to forgive him if he apologizes. You know what I mean? I'm willing to forgive him if he apologizes for that thing that he has no clue that he did 15 years ago. He liked your office. He sat in there. It was a good time. You know what I mean? Damn, he took the office. I know he took your shit. He took the office. That wasn't his, but he just decided to set up shop. These blue devils. Honestly, them protesters might have been on to something. Them protesters might have been on to something. These blue devils. Man.

Alright, so I have the video of his speech.

Just pure stupid no real idea what I'm doing here effort. Effort always yields a positive value even if the outcome of the effort is absolute failure of the desired result. This is a rule of life. Just swing the bat and pray is not a bad approach to a lot of things. Number two, pay attention. If you're in a small submersible that looks like a giant kazoo and going to visit the Titanic,

Seven miles down at the bottom of the ocean and the captain of the vessel is using a Game Boy controller Pay attention to that What are you checking out down there? Oh, I see what happened this ship sank Now I understand why it never made it into port If the fish where you are have eyes like Shelley Duvall and a bendy straw with a work light hanging off their head You do not belong there

If the fish are going, "I can't see a goddamn thing," you won't either. Number three: fall in love. It's easy to fall in love with people. I suggest falling in love with anything and everything, every chance you get. Fall in love with your coffee, your sneakers, your blue zone parking space. I've had a lot of fun in life falling in love with stupid, meaningless physical objects. The object I love the most is the clear barrel Big Pan $1.29 for a box of 10.

I have truly spent my life focusing on the smallest things imaginable, completely oblivious to all the big issues of the day.

Find something where you love the good parts and don't mind the bad parts too much. The torture you're comfortable with. This is the golden path to victory in life. Work, exercise, relationships, they all have a solid component of pure torture and they are all 1,000% worth it. Privilege is a word that has taken quite a beating lately. Privilege today seems to be the worst thing you can have.

I would like to take a moment to defend it. Again, a lot of you are thinking, I can't believe they invited this guy. Too late. I say, use your privilege. I grew up a Jewish boy from New York. That is a privilege if you're a comedian. If I messed up a funny story around my relatives, they would know that's not how you tell that joke. The prostitute has to be behind the drapes when the wife comes in.

You went to Duke. That is an unbelievable privilege. I now have an honorary doctorate, a humane letters degree from Duke University. And if I can figure out a way to use that, I will. I haven't figured anything out yet. I think it's pretty much as useful in real life as this outfit I'm wearing. But so what? I'll take it. My point is we're embarrassed about things we should be proud of and proud of things we should be embarrassed about. When I was writing my TV series...

That was a good speech. There's a really better part of... Oh my God. So fucking chewy about it. So chewy. Oh my God.

I'm walking out of this podcast. Shush. I'm walking out. Shush, shush. I lost the room. No, I want to hear the part, but I thought what was really interesting is falling in love with these little things and how valuable that can be and how much joy can come to your life from that. It's very easy to just focus on the biggest things that are happening in the world. What are the biggest issues?

What do I need to get done? What should I care about when there are things that we absolutely love right in front of us that might make no sense to anybody else, but those things are going to end up bringing us maybe equal joy, maybe more joy. And just getting upset. Oh gosh, just watch your mic. The other thing I loved was just working hard. Yeah, and swing the bat. Yeah, even if you don't know what you're doing.

Just work hard and fucking take the chance and swing. And it was great. Yeah. And, uh,

Yeah, I thought it was good. And also looking at the things you have as a privilege. Yeah. You know what I mean? It is like to go to Duke. These people, these kids complaining about what's going on. You're at fucking Duke, man. You're in the top 0.0001% of all humans with opportunity right now. Get after it. Use it. Don't feel guilty about it. Use it and go for it. Try to create a family and hopefully you can bestow some of that privilege on them and continue that and help your friends and help every person you possibly fucking can with that privilege instead of like walking around embarrassed of it. Yeah.

and trying to shun it and trying to hide it. Yeah. But... Yeah, I thought it was really good. I mean, it's still fuck him forever. No, no, no, no, no. You know, because he did something to me. You're being so anti-Semitic. I know, yeah. Why the hell do you hate this guy just because he's a Jewish kid from Brooklyn? I mean... What's wrong with you, bro? That's only...

The main reason. It's really because he's from Queens. It's Long Island. I didn't even think he's from the city. No. You're not from Queens? No, I thought it was Long Island. Oh, that motherfucker. Motherfucker. Now you're with him? He said he's a Jewish boy from New York. Yeah.

Are you sure he's not from Queens? Isn't it all technically Long Island, though? Brooklyn and Queens? Isn't that all the same island? Now you're entering dangerous territory, my boy. You're not valid. Come to Williamsburg, my boy. Come to Williamsburg. I'll fucking relax. You're from Long Island. I'm going to send the goons on you if you're from Long Island. You're from Mellon Jones. I...

We're going to let him talk about our neighborhood later? He's so far on the west side, he's from Jersey. Yeah, you are. I'm Indian. I'm proud of you. That's a Jersey dog. That's a little Indian. Stay in East Jersey where you at. Yo, calling? You're just a kid from Long Island. I'm just a kid from Long Island. That's disgusting. Anyway, so shout out to that whole thing. You were saying there was another part, Dov?

May I? Yeah. From the transcript. That was annoying. That was so fucking annoying. Cease fire now. Cease fire. He goes, I totally admire the ambitions of your generation to create a more just and inclusive society. I think it's also wonderful that you guys care so much about not hurting each other's

Feelings in the million and one ways. We do all that every second of every day. It's lovely to want to fix those things, but all caps, but what I need to tell you as a comedian, do not lose your sense of humor. You can have no idea at this point in your life, how much you're going to need it to get through. Not enough of life makes sense for you to be able to survive it,

to survive it without humor. And I know all of you are here are going to use all your brains and muscle and soul to improve the world. And I know that you're going to be able to do a bang up job. And when you're done, as I am now, I bet the world because of you will be a much better place, but it will still not make a whole hell of a lot of sense. It will be a better, different, but still pretty insane mess. And it is worth the sacrifice of an occasional discomfort to have some laughs. Don't lose that. Even if it's at the cost of occasional hard feelings, it's okay. You got to laugh.

That's the one thing at the end of your life that you will not wish you did less of. Humor is the most powerful, most survival essential quality you will ever have or need to navigate through the human experience. He's still gone. That is the one thing that you will not... What was the line? That is the one thing that you will not regret having less of? From the top, Dov. No. No.

I don't know how you copy that. You're a good friend. You're a great friend. When he said, I'm done now, and then kept talking, I was like, give him the light, yo. So I felt I needed a light. What is it? You gotta laugh. That is the one thing at the end of your life you will not wish you did less of. You will not wish you did less of. Yes. In that moment at the end of life, you're not going, man, I wish I did less laughing. Yeah. Yes. Every time you do it, you will be grateful for it. Yeah, I like that.

I like that. You're a great friend. Yeah, you just saved Dove. You saved him. I am a protester. I remember what I said about, I'm really flipping and flopping today. Summer's out and the rainbow sandals are on. I think that those people who left Seinfeld's thing, I think that they, did they leave because he's a Jew? Yeah. Can that also be right? Yeah.

You know? Can we look into it a little bit? We can look into it. Hey, can we look? Hey, sometimes you hate white people. Sometimes you hate black people. Sometimes you hate Indians. Is that okay? Yeah. Can we live in a society? What is the Constitution even? Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes. Why do we have guns? Yes. In case them blacks wanted rights. Yeah. What? What?

Bring back hate speech. Should that be what this podcast is about? Justifying racism? Should we make it that, Al? That's a good pivot. Al, you say something racist now. No, I like this. Keep going. You coward! You coward! Miles, go for it! Stop!

Miles gets out of his seat. Me, me, me, me. Al, do you think when Kendrick says, they not like us, it means because Drake is Jewish? Put the camera on him. For them to make it about them. He's clearly talking about pedophiles. As part of the Jewish religion, women do become women at 13, so...

I'm just saying there might be a little bit of connection here. There might be a little synergy. You know where there's a lot of pedophiles? Hollywood. Whoa. Whoa. Who runs Hollywood again? Just remind me real quick. I thought we got overdone. We ate pizza.

DEI brought in a whole lot of other people. Dove need a Metro beat, yo! Dove need a Metro beat immediately! I know, son, it's crazy. Dove, you need a Metro beat. Mark, Catholic religion, when do girls become women? How do morals get the blood out of your circumcision? Ugh.

You're welcome. I'm just watching. I'm just watching from the stand. God damn.

That was really good. All right. We got to take a break real quick because I need to talk to you guys. And some of you are really going to need this conversation because if you ever are wrongfully injured or injured because of negligence, maybe malevolence, I think I used that word correctly, of another person, you could be entitled to getting paid. Now, here's the thing. If you get injured, especially because it's not your fault, it sucks. It's hard. It's difficult to go through. You got to do doctor's visits. You're in pain. You're in casts or whatever.

It all sucks. It's all hard. But one thing that is easy is calling Morgan & Morgan. You can call Morgan & Morgan if you are wrongfully injured because of someone else. You got to check them out, dude. They are America's largest law firm. They have recovered over $20 billion. That's billion. Billion, not million, not some bum-ass million. Billion dollars for over 500,000 clients. Half a million people have been helped by Morgan & Morgan. You could be one of them. Like I say, getting injured...

because of someone else is hard, but submitting an injury claim on Morgan & Morgan is easy. So if you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan & Morgan. And this is important. Their fee is free unless you win. So for more information, go to forthepeople.com slash flagrant or dial pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. Again, that is forthepeople.com slash flagrant or pound law, pound 529 from your cell. This is a paid advertisement. You guys already knew that though. Let's just get back to the show. Hey there.

Hey there, noodle dicks. You see the blue light, you know what it is. It's Bluetooth time, baby. OG sponsor the podcast. We hung with them. You know what Miles was telling us? There are studies that are saying this stuff is good for you. Use it a bunch. It helps prevent, what is it, dementia, Miles?

I'm not a medical expert, but yes. Miles uses Bluetooth all the time. These hoes love Miles. I'm a happily married man. My dick game, irrelevant, but I still up it with Bluetooth because I love my wife.

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Again, bluechew.com. And there you can see details, important safety information. Obviously, you know, do all that. But Miles is not a medical expert, but he says he's healthy. And maybe he's just telling himself that because he's just running through fucking Blue Chew. But I believe him. Now, you guys should try it too. See what it's all about. Thanks to Blue Chew for sponsoring the podcast. Let's get back to the show. What about these Catholic school kids that got kicked out for putting on an acne mask? Did you hear about this? No.

You can't even want to address your adolescent acne, dude. Why can't you just address your adolescent acne, Akash? Yeah. What's wrong with that? What's the story here?

That's just five guys who have acne and they wanted to get rid of it so that they could get laid in school. So clearly they put on their acne masks and they're kicked out of school. Yeah. What the hell? What a fucking cancel culture. Yeah. Come on, fucking libs. What's going on? Why won't these libs just let you address your acne? You got to be a pimple-faced idiot at school all day. There's only one way to get rid of acne. Yeah. It's to look like a fucking chimney sweep. Yeah.

I mean, what is happening? So basically these kids, this is in like 2020. What is the name of the acne medication? Sudan? I mean, look at that. That's good. Right? So this is in 2020. These kids post this picture and then there's an internet storm that pops up and they get kicked out of school.

And then they sue the school district and end up getting paid like a couple hundred thousand dollars each. Where did this happen? I thought they awarded a million dollars. I don't know if that was total or it's each one. But the whole thing was jointly awarded a million dollars. This is the white version of Clockboy.

Do you remember when that little kid made the fucking bomb clearly? And then he was like, but it's a clock. And it's like, no, it's not, you fucking terrorist. You fucking nine-year-old terrorist. You know what I mean? This happened in California. Yeah, I said,

I was like, Shelton's wilding on Twitter. And I was like, Shelton, what the fuck are you doing, man? And he goes, have you seen the clock? I was like, buddy, it's a clock. Who gives a fuck? Then he sent it to me. I was like, kick that kid out. Get out of the country. What's he doing? He's gaslighting us. He's hopping speed. What you doing, bro? He had the TNT coming out the

out the side. One teacher warned him. Can you look up class boy's clock so we just... Alex, I feel like you don't remember what it looked like. That's terrorism. Because he was scaring us. That's what terrorism really is. He terrorized me, bro. He terrorized me. These kids are terrorizing. Tell me this shit don't look

like a bomb. Get out of here, yo. In a suitcase? In a suitcase, son? Where's the clock? Where's Keanu Reeves? Where's Keanu Reeves at? That's what we need to know. Thank you, yo. Look at this crazy-ass little terrorist. Like, remember how you can make like a potato clock? Man, the fuck. It wasn't even a potato clock. He just deconstructed a clock. He didn't even build a clock. He just took a clock out and it made it look like a bomb. And it only counts down. Why does it only count down? Because he's a terrorist. Because he's a terrorist. Yo, that's good. Where's the ceasefire for that? Harvard offered this little dumbass

Fucking idiot deconstructed a clock. He just deconstructed a clock. He just broke something. He broke a clock. He broke a clock. That's it. He just get your ass beat. But I was terrorized by that. And these white kids are terrorists too. They're terrorizing black folk when they were doing their blackface masks. Where? Where did that happen? California. Santa Clara. Santa Clara. Oh, Mountain View? That's what it says, yeah. That's Google, right? Or Apple? Isn't that where they...

When you have the iPhone, doesn't it always say Mountain View? Cupertino. Cupertino. Anywho. So yeah, listen, here's the thing. Yes, it's an acne medication, but you know what you're fucking doing with it. Putting the picture online. Yeah. So they post a picture in 2017 and it gets picked up in 2020 during all the George Floyd protests. What was the caption? Was there a caption with it? This is incredibly important. That is really important. And the dude on the left might be Mexican.

The hair, right? Yeah. I don't know. Does that make you better? If he's Mexican today, if he's Mexican, he definitely hates black people. No, but they're allowed to do that shit. Like Alex Pereira, the Brazilian dude, you know, he goes to his little, his old shit. Okay. I didn't know this. It's like Drake and Blackface. Okay.

He didn't read the room, but yeah. So, all right. So what are we thinking? That picture again? That shit is so. That's a wild picture. I don't know. A black face for real. No, that's terrorism. He was gaslighting. This terrorism. But here's the thing that we got to ask. Yeah.

Nah, son, this shit is crazy. Come on, yo. How can you not bring that one up again, though? He just got acne. He's wearing the Jim Crow shirt. Yeah. Even the T is racist. Oh, no. Oh, my God. That's Jim Crow? Yeah. That shit look hella like Woody Woodpecker. I mean, God damn it, Drake. That shit is too funny. But it's the same acne shit. It might be. I mean. I think it's even blacker than the acne medicine. He, like, looks for this.

Wow. His white ass ears. Why didn't they do it on the ears? He didn't commit. Black people don't listen. And then he gave it to Trudeau.

Might be a Canadian thing. Might just be a Canadian thing. All right, so here's the question. How much longer do you think we care about blackface, Al? Because white people, we over it. Hey, hey, hey, we moved on. So what do you really think? And I know there's a lot of pressure on this question. There's a lot of pressure. It depends. What time of the year? Is it Halloween or is this just a random Tuesday? That's it. So you're saying that Halloween blackface is going to be the first one where we kind of get over. Yes.

And then once it's kind of normalized there where like kids can just dress up as whoever their hero is regardless and we don't make a big deal of it. But still, if you just do Blackface on a random Tuesday, I don't think nobody's getting over it. No, you won't. But I do feel like in our lifetime, it becomes like a non-issue. Nobody gives a fuck. Yeah. Right? Yeah. I think Halloween or dressing up for a costume party or some shit like that. Yeah. Isn't that, that's kind of crazy that there is a thing that was like a

incredibly vile racist act, antagonistic racist act. And then in our lifespan, we'll just be like, nah, but they don't mean it like that, which they don't. When it was done initially, it was. And now it's not meant as that. And I guess when enough time goes, the people that were affected by those films and those like, I guess, TV shows, what was it called? Minstrel. Yeah, the minstrel act.

Once those people that were around for that are dead and nobody watches them anymore, they'll have no connection to it. Like right now, like we're offended by it because we're told that this is like a racist, horrible thing. Yeah. Because it was. Yeah.

But I doubt you've watched like Amos and Andy or whatever. So it's a thing that we're told that's racist. So it's like, how many generations do we keep saying that it's bad before we just go, I don't even remember that shit. And bro, if you want to dress up like LeBron, do it. But it's kind of how long before you can just wear a Nazi uniform because it's fly. Yeah.

Yeah, but think how annoying they are. You guys aren't that annoying. You won't say as much. Yo, nobody's hero's a Nazi.

Well, some people. That Duke graduation. No, no. It's a few. Walt Disney was five. Walt Disney was six. No, no, no. I was crazy. I was crazy. Nobody normal. Pink Floyd. Pink Floyd. Roger Waters. Crazy. He's awesome. He's had some fans. But meaning like black people have been so instrumental in terms of like culture in America.

As a kid, you just look up to black people, white people. They're just part of the collection of people you look up to and admire. And if you were to dress like them, you'd go, oh, I want to be that guy for Halloween. Let me really be him. No Luftwaffe and dunked. You know what I mean? That's a big part of it. Yeah, exactly. Now, if you're an engineer and you're doing a very...

engineer specific party and you get to dress up as your heroes chances are there's gonna be some nats in it yeah 50-50 I mean it's really high actually like it's almost like you got it it's gonna happen bro like if you don't German engineering bro German engineering Dave was really about that yeah yeah yeah

Yo, speaking of blackface, have you heard of Kirstie Alley? Yeah, of course. Did you see this clip? This might be the funniest thing. This is how much older we are than you. You said, have you heard? I didn't know about her. I just saw the clip. Kirstie Alley. That's the first time you say her name. I almost said Kirstie Alley. I thought she was Muslim. Did you see this clip? This is the most insane. The whole buildup is unbelievable.

Okay. Her parents die in a car accident. It's tragic. Yeah. Here's an interview that she gives. At this phone call, my sister called me and I was in Los Angeles and said, mom and dad have been in a car wreck and mother is dead and dad is dying. And I, of course, was falling apart. But I knew, all I knew is I had to get there. And I got there, my sister and I, we were all sitting in this waiting room and we were sobbing. And as I'm crying, I said, my sister's here and I wasn't looking at her, but I said, where were they going? And she said...

Stop it. Yeah.

And the whole family, I guess, had heard this conversation and we all started laughing. And it was the greatest tribute that you could give my mother.

What? Look at Babs, bro. What? Fuck. Shit. Ah!

Did you hear the last line? She said, I felt closer in that moment than I ever have in my whole life. In my whole life. The moment where she's dead in blackface. Oh my God. I mean, her dad was committed to that character. When he crashed that car. When you think about it, he's just like, he's like, ah!

You just messed it, dude. Why would you tell people? Nah, bro. These people are insane, bro. These actors are insane. They were at the hospital. Nah. They were at the hospital, dude. What were they dressed as? Why would you even ask that? Yeah. Why would you ask that? When she said, why would I ask that? That part, I was, I'm on board. Why would you ask that? And then the end just really goes off the rails. What a wonderful tribute. To what? To what?

To what? A better time? Is that what you think? What an all-time. What do you think? How did it work? When I tell you, I cried laughing, bro. Like, how would you share that? Why would you dress like that? Oh, God. Oh, my God. I was watching an Axe stream, and he just kept playing...

R. Kelly's interview with Kale. Oh, amazing. Gale. Yeah. Bro, when he's talking about the hog tie shit. Yeah. I'm not a hog tie. He's not a hog tie. He's a fat shit. Have you seen that? No. Oh my God. Is this the one where he's like, I'm fighting for my life. Yeah. And then, do you have sex with teenage girls? When you say teenage, what do you mean?

He was sick. Dude, you saw him singing in Ethiopia? Oh my God. One of the greatest. Oh yeah. Do you have your passports? Do you have your shots? Oh yes. Did you get your shots? Girl, would you like to come back with Rob to America? Disguise. Did you get your shots? Like they're dogs in a kennel. Do you have your passports?

Did you get your shots? Girl, would you like to come back with rocks to America? Oh, he got the girls in the back. So he's not riffing? No. They could riff. Did you have your passport? Did you get your shots? Who will come to America? No.

no put the shake weight on the mic and no damn oh my god just a fucking what a legend what's up with him yo he's the goat he's singing he's in prison probably probably singing i think he's in prison you think he's being treatable i mean he's the most famous guy in prison he's still r kelly yeah but there's one thing they hate in prison more than anything what the pedophiles

And he did that? I mean, yeah. It wasn't on kick.com, so we don't know. What did he think he was in jail for? Tax fraud? I don't know. I didn't know he was in jail for. Bringing Ethiopians into the country illegally, probably. Oh, the migrant crisis. Yeah. Stop it. Come on. Secure the borders. Rob? Come on, Rob. So, yeah, he's guilty, huh? Yeah, I guess he did. Yeah. Of what? Kidnapping. Kidnapping.

Oh, yeah? Yeah. Kidnapping, eh? Sex trafficking.

Oh, he's a kidnapper, eh? Sex trafficking. That's about time they got a guy like that behind bars, huh? That's about time. Child sexual exploitation. Oh, child sexual exploitation, eh? Oh, wow. Well, look at here. You gotta get a guy behind bars if he's exploiting children like that. Child pornography production. Sex trafficking. Kidnapping. Forced labor. They were handling the production. And racketeering. Whoa.

And racketeering. All that. I don't even know what racketeering is. Oh, man. It's just the hypocrisy. Racketeering, eh? Yeah, Crowdy. Oh, no, eh? Yeah, Crowdy. Are you saying that they're doing some little racketeering over there, eh? Oh, no. What is racketeering for 1,000 points? Well, I sure as hell know what a rack is, Mark. And I'm not going to speculate what they're doing with it, but it sounds like that's what a racketeering is if you want me to describe it, eh? Yeah.

There you go. It's about time we change the subject, if you ask me. I mean, it seems like we're really fucking cooking with gas over here, eh? What were you about to say right there, Alex? Seemed like you stopped yourself short just one second. I don't know what it is. I don't know the actual definition of racketeer. It's like an organized group of criminal activity, something like that.

Oh, it's not what I thought. It's a con, I thought. It's a type of organized crime in which the person is set up to a coercive, fraudulent, or extortionary illegal coordinated scheme.

repeatedly and consistently to collect profit. Isn't racketeering like how you just get the, oh, sorry. Isn't it? No, no, no. Isn't racketeering how you get the big boss? Like he's. That's RICO, I think. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But Racketeering Influenced and Corruption Organizations Act, the RICO. Oh, that is the. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. That's part of it, yeah. Got it. So you can't, he's not actually doing anything. He's not actually telling people to do the bad shit.

God damn, Al. It's the gayest way to hydrate, right? It sucks it down. Get out my mouth. Get the fuck out of here. Why did you do that right there? Do you even use teeth? Sucking liquid to get stuff out of it is so weird. So you don't use a straw ever. I tip.

Do you like that? Yeah. I use this. I don't suck. Yeah, why do you choose to suck? Yeah. Of all the ways to drink water. A gallon a day, yo. You suck a gallon a day. You got the strongest suckers on this podcast. 100% fact. Those mutt... Like, if we had to suck for our life... Listen, it'd be Draco. Yeah.

Hey, it's about time you start making jokes about that. Yeah, I'm about to. There are some people that are really upset about that when you paint a guy's face black with his fucking lips all red. You know, that's just a mean thing to do. Oh, man. Okay, now? I love Drake. Say what? I love Drake. I'm a Drake fan. You're too old. Yeah, dude. He don't want you. Yo, he don't want you. Yo, mustard on a beat. He don't want you. He don't want you, bro. Shit, they gotta watch out. You gotta chill out.

Stop putting that on Drake. That's disrespectful. Y'all are disrespectful. You just did it. He's the boy. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Do you think he just thinks their ages are in Celsius? Because that could be a clear mix-up. Like, what is 15 degrees Celsius in Fahrenheit? Can we just see that conversion? It's like 50, right?

59. That's legal. 59 is legal. In his brain, he likes old bitches. He likes old bitches. Those are a bunch of 13 and 14s over here. 55 years old. Yeah. Wow. Speaking of the actual Michael Jackson. Yeah.

He stopped by to watch a Michael Jackson impersonator recently. Yeah. You saw this? Yeah. Beautiful video. Wait, is this the Michael Jackson from the Broadway play? No, not even. That's just fucking amazing. Shut up. Yeah. He's a Dominican Michael Jackson in Broadway. Phenomenal. There you go. This is just unbelievable. This is awesome. Okay.

I think the reason why this goes viral... That's it? No, no. Explain, explain. This has 73 million views. No, no, no, no, no. Let me tell you why. The comment that I think makes it go viral is... What is it? He's looking at him like he's proud or something like that. Like, he's acting as if he's the real Michael Jackson watching the fake Michael Jackson. So he's just like, well, really? He was flattered that someone was imitating him. Yeah, yeah. Imitating someone. I thought he was looking at his precursor mic.

Oh, past Mike? Yeah. He really stopped and was flattered someone was imitating him. I mean, look at that freak to his right. What is that? That fucking dumbass. What is that? It's a protester. It's one of the... I think I did see her walk out of Duke's graduation. Oh, man. This dude just went dumb. I thought he was going to start dancing with him or something. No, he's just proud. Just proud. Just seeing someone imitating him. It's just psychopathic behavior. You're an impersonator. Yeah, I know. Watching someone else...

I'm living so much in character that you think, oh, that... Isn't that crazy? That's insane. I didn't even understand what y'all were saying until I was like, oh, people are that crazy? Yeah, funny. There's a lot of crazy people out there. He really thinks that guy's imitating him. I loved it.

Guys. You want to keep this going on Patreon? I think that we have to keep this going on Patreon. Yes. Can you tell them about the weekend on Patreon? Because your weekend was crazy. I had a crazy weekend. Yeah. I had a very crazy weekend, and I would love to share that. Also, happy Mother's Day. Oh, yeah.

Happy Mother's Day to you. Thank you, but also happy Mother's Day to your guys' moms. Yeah, thank you. Why'd you say that? Yeah. No, I was just thinking like... Just watch out. I was thinking about your guys' moms on Mother's Day. See, nah. We had... That was great. No, no. I'm just saying... Yeah, why'd my mom ask for your number, by the way? My mom asked for your number. She's like, hey, do you have Andy's number? I got a text...

I got a text from Mark's mom. Don't do this. Did I get a text from your mom or did I? I don't know. What is she saying? All I'm saying is I got a text from your mom's too. I got a text from your mom. Why did my mom text you on Mother's Day? I didn't get a text from my mom. Why did you text my mom first on Mother's Day? That Jewish bitch. My mom could text because she ate Post Malone's mushrooms.

Oh, thank God. Three squares. That's also another thing that we need to discuss. Post Malone drugging Dove's mom. She ain't even know.

Yo, Post Malone drugging Dove's mom. Dove's mom had to get emergency evacuated. Okay, let's save this for the Patriots. No, no, no. We got to talk about your moms a little bit first before we get to the Patriot. Just a tiny little bit. First of all, the text that all of it... Whoa, whoa, whoa. What? What's it where you want? What the hell? I'm just saying, the size text that I got...

From your guys' moms? Yeah. Why did my mom text you? Why did she text you? You're not a mom. I know, but she just felt it necessary to text me. I love that. And the way that the volume of the text. It was crazy. The amount of text. How did you describe it? Did you throw it back? No, how did I describe it? It was more of a feeling than anything. It was more of a taste. Yeah.

I'm just saying. Miles, I ain't getting no texts from your mom. I ain't getting texts from your mom. I just see her at your MSG show, though. She had them thangs out. We got to hug in. My mom... My mom... My mom got raising canes after the MSG show. Immediately to the hospital. Oh.

Son, I don't know what's in Raising Cane's, but that shit spiked her blood sugar or something. Like, she's diabetic as hell. Oh, fuck. Son, she was in the hospital. Her gallbladder, like, exploded or something like that. Scottish women did not invent fried chicken. They did. I thought the Scots could handle fried chicken, but not Raising Cane's. Not the Cane's. No.

Son, my mom's blood sugar went crazy. She thought she had food poisoning. She went to the urgent care. They were like, bitch, get your ass to the hospital. Your gallbladder is almost destroyed. Holy shit. Yeah. Thank God she's okay. Didn't even tell me for two days. I land in LA. Greg's like, hey, mom's been in the hospital. I think you should know. I go, I'm coming back. I call my mom. My mom's like, no, it's okay. They're just going to take my gallbladder out.

And what was it? Put it in her fat tit probably. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Okay. Okay? Stupid idiots. I gotta pee. I'm going home. Okay? No, but in all seriousness, we should... Listen, we'll continue this on Patreon, but the...

Hey. Listen, she was in the hospital, man. Can y'all show some respect for my mom? Did y'all wish my mom a happy Mother's Day? No, probably not. Just want her for two things. Y'all just want her for two fucking things. You hugging up all of my mom at the show. Yeah, that's great. That was disrespectful. Out of respect, I hug like that. From the back? From the back. Yeah.

Okay.

We'll see you all there. Patreon.com. Anyway, but seriously, continuing this.