Sebastian Maniscalco on Working With DeNiro, Charlie Sheens Comeback, & How The Mob Ended The Nazis
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America! You beautiful, pill-poppin', gender-swappin', ventriloquist, snortin', face-explorin', right-swipin', stepmom-pipin' champions of the world.

I've missed you. I've taken the life tour all over the world. I've crossed more borders than a Chinese spy balloon, or as they call them in Montana, a sky dumpling. And now it's time to come back to the greatest country in the world, America, baby. In 2024, the life tour is coming all over America, like Josh Giddey watching Toddlers and Tiaras. And there's one rule, everyone gets these jokes.

Your haircut stinks! I'm clearly trying to film something over here. Who cut your hair? Michael J. Fox in an ice bath? Shut up! And put the music back on! Thank you. I'll see you there. No, no, really. I'm gonna stop playing characters. It's really hard to defend. It really fucking sucks, dude.

You sold out Madison Square Garden a million times. Like, you've done arenas around the world, and it means nothing the second we're in Hollywood. Yeah. And they kind of treat you as if it means nothing. Yeah, it doesn't mean anything. Like, was that like being around De Niro? Is he funny at all? He would, like, go to his chair after the scene. I would go to my chair, and he would have, like, you know, a bunch of papers and whatnot. He'd be on the phone. He'd be talking. He goes, is this guy opening up another Nobu? Yeah.

In between scenes? So now I'm in a scene. Me and De Niro are in a bedroom, and we're talking about my wife's side of the family. And I think the line was something like, yeah, and they're walking around like birds. I'm like, ah! He was even going, what are you doing? The next scene, we're like, eh, just stick to the script.

What's up, everybody? Welcome to Flaker. Today, we are joined by, we got to give compliments up top. I know that you're going to hate it, but we have to give the compliments up top, okay? We have to. It's quite possibly, well, no, absolutely one of the biggest comedians in history. Probably the biggest comedian alive right now. He might be in movies and such. He might have a TV show coming out. We have Sebastian Mascow. Let's go. Very sweet of you to say. Sebastian Mascow.

I saw, well, there's two things I want to say. First of all, I was watching you on tiger belly with Bobby and it was fantastic. You guys are amazing. But you, you told this story and it resonated so much. It was about like the, the nerves and anxiety you had on the Irishman. Now I haven't done the Irishman or, but, but there is something about like you sold out Madison square garden a million times. Like you've done arenas around the world. You're the highest selling car and you walk into a movie set and

And all that just goes away. Goes away. Yeah, so this is something I'm not used to doing, which is acting. I do stand up pretty much every night or trying to work on stuff. So now I'm in a scene with Pesci, De Niro, and Scorsese's coming out of nowhere. I don't even know where this guy is at.

I'm set. And it's nerve wracking. It's, you know, I had a lot of anxiety doing that. Like Pesci's wife, he was doing a thing that was like improv-y and it was kind of annoying Pesci. And Pesci's wife was like, keep doing it. So you got to like actively piss off Joe Pesci because his wife is saying it's a good idea, but I'm pissing off Joe Pesci. It's like a crazy thing. But it's this weird thing that I think is like, I wonder if it's only in us where we can feel like the top of the world in our industry and that it means nothing the second we're in Hollywood. Yeah.

And they kind of treat you as if it means nothing. Yeah, it doesn't mean anything. Like, did the grips and stuff, the people who work on the movie, they know you and you're like the biggest star, right? See, I never even think anybody knows me. I swear to God. But I get what he's saying. Yeah, go, go. Yeah, I mean, like, I, you know, every time I put tickets on sale, I ask myself, is anybody...

So I'll give you an example. I did this voiceover in Super Mario Brothers. I was Spike. I have two kids, six and four. We're at Universal Studios. By the way, I feel like I have to come to the right here, too, because of the cologne. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. I'm going to walk you over here. It's like warm pie. You smell it in the cartoon. Yeah.

The Italians are just drawn to it. Is that Tom Ford? So we're at Universal Studios. There is a Super Mario store. So I said, kids, come on in. Let's go see daddy's character.

They got every character on the wall but mine, Spike. So that kind of sums up my career. I have fans, but I'm not widely known. That's funny you think that. That's so funny you think that. Yeah, I don't believe that at all. That's the way I feel. But I know it's the way you feel, and I felt that. I felt that in films or in Hollywood in general. And I think it's just because they care so little about stand-up.

Like the Hollywood Matrix thinks it's like this weird like sideshow. And we walk in and we're like, wait a minute, no, no, no, this is the coolest thing and we're the best at it. And they're like, that's great. Here's your lines, here's your trailer you're sharing with three other guys, there's one bathroom. Yeah. And you're like, I travel on a bus everywhere I go. We don't get far. Yeah. It doesn't translate over to, like you're saying, TV and film. I, you know...

But that's expected. Do we welcome, do the stand-ups welcome the actors to our...

You always hear this guy that's gonna do stand-up, but he was something else prior. Yeah. And do we go, oh, yeah, you're part of the family? Do we do that? We think that your career is struggling. Oh, he's doing it again? Oh, okay. Yeah, that's a good point. I just don't always know why is stand-up always the default to somebody else's other career? It's not like we're going into professional football. It's either stand-up or DJing.

Dude, you know, the first time I saw you, I went to school at University of California at Santa Barbara. I grew up here in New York, but I went to school at UCSB. And I managed a restaurant called Brick's Cafe. And once a week, there was a comedy night. Yes.

Do you remember? I didn't know that you managed a joint, though. There was a comedy in, I think it was like a small crate in the corner. Let me see if I got the right restaurant. You walk in. Yeah, this is great. And wasn't it to the left? And there's a full window. Yeah. So people can see from the outside. Okay, you managed that place? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had no idea. Into the ground. Into the ground. Right into the ground. Two restaurants into the ground. I've managed two restaurants, both out of business. Yeah.

Did you start the comedy night there? No, it was Andre Belikoff. He wasn't even a comic. Yeah, the comedy night started. Oh, you weren't? Yeah, literally. I was just a fan of comedy. I watched it growing up. And it was just random that I was working at this restaurant. And then this guy opened another one. And he was dumb enough to let me manage it. I wrote him a manual. I was like, this is what I think you should do. And I gave it to him. And he was this Argentine guy. And he was like, I think this guy's good. I think, no, wasn't good. But I remember you coming there.

There's a bunch of people that came up, like Tig came up, I think Brett Ernst, you came up. I remember you doing the Ross bit. My God, dude. And which is like iconic bit.

It's hard to do the raw spit in there. Say again? It's hard to do that, yeah. You almost fell off the stage. I had no room. Sure didn't go far. Sure went like 20 feet. But it was like, I remember watching it, and you're not like a talent scout at the time, but I'm just like, holy shit, this is something different. The energy is something different going on here. Wow. And then...

And then you really fucking exploded, huh? Fucking. From that restaurant to career. I was trying to think this. Wait, real quick. My first story also fucking, it was 2007. I had just started comedy in LA. And we go watch, there's every, like the three major clubs had their Black Night.

Comedy stores was tripping on Tuesday, which wasn't the roughest room, but it's like, it can be choppy. Sebastian goes on stage. I'm watching this white dude. It's dead. He lets the silence sit for like 10, 15 seconds. This white dude, all black room. And then he just, then one girl woos and he just goes, no, I like that confidence. And then the confidence he had, I swear to you, I don't think to this day I've ever seen a comic level of room like that. I think you're talking about Kramer at the laugh. Yeah.

No, dude. Tony Roberts, who's so funny and such a killer host, he gets back on stage for three minutes. He's laughing at Sebastian's bit, like about the drinks with the umbrella in it. He's dying laughing, leaning over the stool like, the dude I was sitting with got an umbrella in his drink.

I'd never seen, and that was the first time I ever was like, oh, that's what you can do with a set. I'd been watching comedy, but that stuck with me for years. Okay, I need to get back to the beginning. Do you start in L.A., or did you start in Chicago?

I started in Los Angeles, moved in 1998 from Chicago, graduated Northern Illinois University. I did comedy once there for the up and coming or no, it was the guy coming in to entertain the students. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever, it was the headliner. College entertainment. Yeah. You opened for- I opened for that guy. Okay. And then that's the only time I had any experience. Did the Frat Brothers come out? Who? You were in a frat, weren't you? Yeah, yeah. At that time, my dad was in a frat.

My parents came. No, no, no. Which they were worried because I died. I died on stage that night. And they were like, this is what we're paying college for? So...

I moved out in 98 and I just started kicking around Los Angeles doing like open mic nights and- So you bombed and it was like, no, this is what I'm gonna do? I just knew I felt comfortable up there and this was where I should be. I was a huge fan of standup at a young age and I always knew I was gonna go into standup comedy. I just didn't know how. Who was your guy? Who was your introduction? I used to watch HBO.

Night at the Improv, all that stuff at my cousin's house on Saturday morning 'cause I didn't have cable. So I used to watch all of that stuff and I used to digest it like it was game tape. Fascinated, like, "Geez, how do they remember all this? "This is fantastic, I wanna do this. "How do you even get into this?"

My dad's a beautician. My mother's a secretary. Where do you even go to do this? But I just fell in love with it and then decided I was going to move out to Los Angeles in 1998 to pursue a career. Was there one stand-up that you saw that you're like, holy— I remember seeing Bernie Mac when I was younger, and it didn't make me go, I want to be a stand-up comedian, but it made me go, holy shit.

That's how hard you can make people laugh. Like that was the bar and obviously Eddie delirious, but like was there someone you saw? It wasn't like a guy that came out. What I used to do is watch Johnny Carson at night and he used to have comedians on. And I was like, wow, this is great. And people come in and make people laugh. And then I started getting into it from there. I started watching George Carlin and Eddie Murphy, and

Don Rickles, I was a huge fan of Don Rickles. So it was a variety of different comedians that I saw over a period of time. It wasn't one guy where I go, oh yeah, that's the guy. It was a culmination of people. Okay, you're just obsessed with the sport of comedy. Okay, so you go out to L.A.,

When I remember you doing the Vince Vaughn. Yeah. What was it called? Wild West Comedy Show. Is that the first break? Is that the first time where you feel like I have some traction or were you already like the local guy? I was not anything. I was just going, doing comedy clubs, not touring at all.

I was working at the four seat. Day job? Yeah, I was. Oh, I thought at this point you'd already kind of like, you were like established LA, like headlining locally. Nah. But no day job. I'm still delivering chicken satays to table 109 at the four seat. Okay, okay, okay. When Vince Vaughn asked me to do this. I,

How did Quinn Steven find you? At Dublin's. There was a place called Dublin's on Sunset. That had a- Like a night- Comedy night. Yeah, yeah. Comedy night. Tuesday night, Dublin's. And it was upstairs. Timberlake used to go. Vince Vaughn. It was like a haven for celebrities at the point. Dane Cook at that time was the guy. Yeah.

And I met him there through a comedian by the name of Ahmed Ahmed. Yeah, yeah. And Vince and I started talking in this stairwell. He's from Chicago, I'm from Chicago, starts talking this, that, and the other. Next thing you know, a couple months go by, and through Ahmed, asked me to come on the Vince Vaughn Wild West Comedy Show. So I had to go and ask work, can I take a month off? To be in a movie.

Cuz I didn't know, I mean, I wasn't getting paid a lot of money. It wasn't like something I could just lose my job. And I'm very responsible, I'm very responsible. Yeah. Like the first thing my mother asked me when I moved out in 1998, what are you gonna do for health insurance? I'm one of these guys that just lives on people's couches. I came out with savings.

It's not like Axl Rose where he's got a guitar and some change. I came out with 10 grand responsible, signed a lease. And so, yeah, I took off work for a month, but I never went back after that. That was 2005, so 98 to 2005. That was like a subplot in the movie I remember about you waiting tables, right? Yeah. All right, guys.

Show dates, you know what it is. First of all, this Friday, December 8th, my first show ever in New Orleans. I love New Orleans. I went there one time. Honestly, it's the most unique city in America. I am so excited to go there. I love it. Also, December 17th, 18th, 19th, you know what it is, the UK. Glasgow? Glasgow, I think.

London, we added a second show. There's still some tickets left in Manchester. That show is going to sell out soon if it hasn't already. Get your tickets for that. Also, January 6th, 8th, and 9th, I'm going to Oslo. Amsterdam, we added a second show in Eindhoven. And January 18th through 20th, I'm going to be in Washington, D.C. at the Improv. Those tickets will sell out too. And January 26th and 27th, Wise Guys Comedy Club in Salt Lake City. I've never been to your Mormon-ass state. I'm very excited to come. I've heard the

The club is amazing. So get your tickets for all those shows and more being added soon at akashsingh.com. Now let's get back to this show. - Okay, that night that Vince is there, did you know that he's watching when you're going on or did you already go on and then you saw him in the hallway?

I didn't know he was in the room, so I had gone on and came off. So much better that way. Yeah. He was delivering the chicken satay still. I had waited on Vince Vaughn, though, years before that. Oh, really? Yeah, but he didn't know that. I mean, I waited on him, I think, in 2001. Did he tip good? Did he tip good? He didn't pay. It was the agents that would. So I pretty much know of every celebrity's tipping habits working at the Four Seasons. And what do we got? Shaq's the best. Okay.

Okay. What does Shaq do? What does Shaq do? Shaq come in on a Sunday by himself, walk through the bar, used to sit by himself. This is not every Sunday, but, you know, a few. Order a...

- A fruit plate. - And you just protected Shaq right there. - What? - Every Sunday, not every one. - It might be a couple times Shaq was there. - A few times, two times, right after church. - And then a little fruit plate, little, what else did he have? Oh, coffee, but I used to serve the coffee to him in a big cappuccino cup because it's like serving a giant.

I couldn't serve him a little teacup. I had to bring out the big cap. And he would never ask for a check, just left $100 under the plate. Every time. Every time. And at that point, you know, I wasn't, he was like, hey, what's up, Shaq? I was, you know, very professional. He had a hack like, you know, that wasn't a celebrity. Hello, Mr. O'Neal. How you doing? And yeah, he was one of the best tippers there was. Who's the worst, though?

I'm sorry, what was it? The worst tipper. Worst tipper. I didn't really run into like a really awful, awful, I don't know. I don't have a, I don't have a bad story. I'm sorry. I know you guys probably really relish in a great story. Are you a good tipper?

I'd like to think I'm pretty fabulous when it comes to tipping. Pretty fabulous? Okay, okay, okay. What do you, let's say, for example, dropping your car, because I've heard some legendary tipping, right? Like, you know, I remember I was hanging with Rogan once. He drops the car off. It's 100. Picks it up. It's 100. Okay, that's aggressive. Yeah. Yeah.

He's responsible. He just said he was responsible. He's responsible. Okay, so let's say you're dropping your car off. How much? What do they expect? Dropping my car off. Where am I driving? Is it a hotel or is it any valet service? Just a valet. General valet. General valet. I didn't even know you were supposed to drop it. It's only when you pick it up. No, it is when you pick it up. No, no, the keep it close tip.

Let's break it all down. Let's break it all down. The keep it close tip is, I think, 100. Because I used to work at the Four Seasons. I used to talk to those guys. And they had five or six spots reserved. And I used to ask, what do you tip to get that spot? He goes, that's a minimum of 100 bucks. Now, if you give them a 20, right, and they have the availability, they might leave it up top. But I think 100 ensures you that spot. The 100 on the way out...

Is almost Sinatra-like. $200 on a car is a lot of money. Yeah. So what do you think on the way out? $10? On the way out, it's a $20. It's a $20. A $20 if you tipped already. Yeah, that's reasonable. So if you tipped $100 and the guy brings it up, it's $20. $120 is a lot just to put the car somewhere. It is, but I tell you, the convenience of it is just... Okay, what about a place you frequent a lot? Like...

What about the store or the improv back in the day? You're just dropping your car. Every once in a while you tip those guys.

See? Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going? Do I got to stand up now? It's a sciatic thing. I feel like I got to start moving around. I'm there every night. What do you mean? What do you mean? I mean, once in a while. I don't...

Hey, you're right. I generally park my old car there and then I leave. But every once in a while, I'll give the guy whoever's running, I'll give him $50 or $100. Okay, but that's not in every single time. No, that's not every single time.

Sometimes I don't have my wallet on me or whatnot. I don't have like cash available. And sometimes I'm like, all right, I ain't tipping today. You don't even have a car. See, New Yorkers don't have cars, so they don't even understand that. Well, I bought a fake Porsche, but then it broke down. You bought a fake Porsche? Yeah, a fake Porsche. A kid car. Oh, a kid car. Yeah, a kid car. On purpose? He got hustled. He got hustled. He was a Persian businessman. It was a habit.

a million dollar real one or a $50,000 fake one. And I'm like, I'm going to have to replace everything in this real one anyway. So just give me the fake one for 50 grand. And now you got to replace the entire car. It was beautiful. It was so beautiful. It was very pretty. You don't have it anymore? Didn't work for shit. I don't think so. Oh, it don't work? Yeah, it doesn't really work. Did we sell it? Yeah, but it's still over there. Oh, Jesus. What, you're looking for a kit? I'm sorry. Do you want a kit? I got a nice kit. We can't just skip over what just happened here. What just happened right there?

You don't know if you got a car? You like that? You like that? Did we shower? You don't know if you tip. I don't know if I got a car. He's in charge of the automotive garage you have. Because what happens when I do it, right? I buy a fake fucking Porsche.

Which was not under my advisement. I just want everyone to notice. Nope. But it's a beautiful car that he built on the outside. We had a couple of good runs around Soho. I had to push it around Soho. And first of all, I'm from New York, so people kind of know me. And I'm in like the most, like I have to stop and look at you car. And I have to walk it around cobblestone streets in fucking Soho. It was so unbelievably embarrassing. Like cobblestone. Wow.

Yeah. So the mechanic sold it, but the car is so beautiful, he leaves it in front of his West Village location. People keep taking pictures all day long. What do you tip the garage? This is a tricky one for me. The garage is like every single, what if we're doing this every day? Meaning going into a parking structure. My parking garage. That's a New York thing. Oh, yeah, that's right. You probably never had a garage. Yeah, like a house. That's a Christmas gift. Like a human gift. A gift.

You know what my pops used to do? My pops would always, he would get him a nice Christmas bonus, but he would always bring another coffee. And it was just like, he'd always come with two and there'd be another coffee. That's a classy touch. That is pure class. It's a dollar, but at the same time, it's like, well, maybe you wanted a nice coffee. Well, I like that move. I also like, if you're seeing this guy every day and it's a garage, I like the

End of the year kind of Christmas. Yeah, yeah to do it every day. It gets a little yeah, I think monotonous and gross I Think a nice gift that you know for the doorman for the garage guy a nice a nice hermits Do you get bothered a nice hermits bike? Do you get road rage at all when you're driving? No at this at this age

I actually relish the time in traffic. Why? Generally, when I'm driving and I'm going to get in traffic, I'm alone. And those times, if I have an audio book or a podcast on, I actually welcome it. There's no real road rage. And when I have kids, to me, it's more time in the car with them. So I like it.

Yes, you like the family you like the kids very traditional very family. Okay, we're not into the family yet I want to get to family but no cuz your rise is crazy because I think You're also one of the first people to explode from the internet and I don't know if a lot of people know that I know that Your clips you didn't know what was happening with you and like what was happening on Facebook. I was unaware of

Of what was happening. I'm about to be sewing. Listen, listen, I was unaware of what was happening outside my little ether. Like I post my stuff.

Okay, I'll post my stuff. But you didn't know. I didn't know, until later on. Okay, because you had the specials, there were Showtime specials. Mm-hm, yeah. And you were clipping or someone was clipping, they were putting them on Facebook, etc. But some of these jokes would just go insane on Facebook. Mm-hm. And you didn't notice a crazy spike in sales? There had to be a moment where you're like, okay, I'm selling out clubs and now it's theater. Where was the jump for you? I thought it was, I just- Hot in here, right?

Sorry, go on. Because you're moving. You're standing up. It always gets hot when I do this podcast. No, I'm actually a good gauge of temperature. You're a good gauge of temperature. And if I'm cool, it's not hot in here. Okay, it's not hot. But if you feel hot, go ahead. Put up the air conditioner. The guy's hot.

I feel like I'm being insulted right now. No, you're not. You're being insulted. Do I have to tip him? What do you tip for AC? What do you... I tip AC $25. That's pretty good. It was a nice $72, but... Okay, okay, go on, go on. So...

I thought, because I stayed in the clubs for a while, further than most people stay in the clubs because I was like, I don't even know if I could sell theaters. I did 14 Gotham Comedy Club shows and they're like, I think it's time to, I don't know, are people going to come? Will they come? Yeah. So I thought,

I thought it was just from going on the road and doing the comedy clubs, establishing a fan base. I did see an uptick in some of, you know, followers and whatnot, but I don't attribute it to like, oh, wow, I blew up on the internet. I don't know if I ever really wrapped my head around that. 2018, I had three different family members talk to me about you specifically. I remember that's when I was like, oh, because I'd always remembered Sebastian from that set. And then I was like, oh, now it's over. It's over. I saw there was a thing that like,

There's a thing that happened that kind of, it didn't explain your fame, explained how you're selling so many tickets to me. Right. Cause obviously I saw it. It was amazing. Been a fan, but the perception at first was like, okay, this is really personal. He's talking about like really specific things.

you know his culture okay maybe italians are coming out in droves and it was a somali friend of mine that goes oh yeah i mean like me and my mom watch him like crazy that's like her favorite comedian it's one of my favorite comedians and i go explain that he goes oh like everything he talks about is my family i go what and he goes he goes yeah and at that moment i realized

It's a first generation or second generation relatability in America. And it's probably why from my mom's side, well, I'm kind of relating to it, but you have all these people coming out. Did you start to see that in diversity in the audience? Yeah, first of all, I had no idea, no idea I was huge in Somalia. Big. Big. You gotta do a show.

But you don't have to be Italian to get this. You could be Indian, you could be Puerto Rican, black, whatever you are. If you have like a family and a dynamic in your family, I use my father as a big source of comedy. I think people relate to it regardless of what background you're from. Yeah, it is an immigrant story. It has those immigrant, you know,

little innuendos that maybe some immigrant families could relate to more than others. But at the core, it's just the family. And you know where I really was debating on putting a bit in my Aren't You Embarrassed special about going to an Italian wedding. I felt it was too specific. Really? Only Italians are gonna get this. Should I put it in? But I decided to put it in.

And that little bit started to generate some popularity. I go, oh, wow, people are gravitating towards my personal story, my culture, my father. Let me dive into this a little bit more because up to that point, it was about Ross for Less, Subway, you know, just generic. It was generic, observational, but very funny. And then your character shines, your personality shines through it. But once you started getting really specific people

About what you were going through like it's funny different friends have shared different clips with me and it's all based on what they're Going through their relate like the Jews always send the one about just let the Italians handle the cater like every Jewish person has seen that bit, you know, right? Yeah, that seems to be big in the Jewish community. But Yeah, it's funny It's funny interesting hearing these stories from you and the other side because to be honest with you I was on a like

I like the camaraderie the younger group of comedians have with one another. I like the, like I said before we started, it's very inspiring that you guys created a whole environment and you seem to be very tight. I was tight with some comedians coming up, but then I began to become very kind of insular and family and not really hanging out with a lot of comedians. So I wasn't really on the street. I didn't know the street vibe.

I was just doing my own thing, going out, doing my comedy clubs, like alone. Yeah. And travel with anybody. There was no like going out to a diner at two o'clock in the morning. Yeah. It's like you do the set, you go home, and then you're rotting the room for the rest of the week. They don't realize that like earlier when you're on the road, you spend 18 hours a day in the hotel. Yeah.

I mean, there were times where like the first people I spoke to that day were the crowd.

It is the fucking crown plaza or whatever it was. I'd walk to the club say hello and then walk on stage and there's 300 people that hopefully yeah Yeah, and I felt if you left the room and I don't know how how you are with like finances and but I'm again I'm very responsible you start losing money. Well, yeah, you leave the room Cost you money? $1,000 a week as soon as you step outside your pay starts going what do you get money on though? If you're alone in the city? I

Well, let's say you go to the mall and you're like, oh, yeah, you're tempted with purchasing whatever, a shirt or whatever you want. So as long as you stay in the room, I feel like you're safe. When did you get enough money where you started to release a little of your economic anxiety?

Or is it still there? It's always going to be there. Just the way I was raised, my father... Nothing chipped away? Listen, do I spend money? Yeah. My wife has that in her. What does that mean? Just like... Spending money? Let's have a party!

I love to have parties. Okay. But the way my wife does parties and the way I do parties are two different things. Okay, how so? What is the difference? What's your ideal party? All right, guys. You know what time it is. It's time for these prize picks. Let me throw them at you. These are your Sing Locks, which are not necessarily locks. They're more or less locks. I don't know how my record is doing anymore. Money's coming. Money's going. I'm doing pretty well, though. Anyway, my point is, your Sing Locks, Lamar Jackson, more than...

than 218 passing yards. He's going up against a Rams secondary. They're not that great. They're not bad. They're playing well, but at 218 for an MVP candidate, that's easy. Also, Justin Fields, 199 and a half passing yards. I still believe in this guy. Maybe I'm an idiot, but I don't think that's a very hard goal to get 200 yards passing. And this one, I do feel confident in. CeeDee Lamb, Moore, I think 89 and a half is the target as of this episode.

I'm telling you, the Eagles secondary beaten up. I'm not saying the Cowboys will win, even though I hope badly that they do finally do fucking something to make me happy and stop disappointing me. But I think CeeDee Lamb can eat up that secondary. Those are your sing locks. Also, you know what you're doing? You're signing up at PrizePix. Use the promo code Schultz and they will match your initial deposit up to $100. That means you put in $100, you get $100 for free. That's all you got to do. PrizePix.com, promo code Schultz. Let's get back to the show. All right, guys, here's the deal. You

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We had a plan, a party planner. They bring in furniture. It's a whole... Which I kind of like because then it doesn't fuck up your furniture and you don't have anxiety about people spilling shit all over. I'm into the furniture. Yeah, bringing in the furniture. But again, furniture is a really high expense when you're dealing with a party. To rent furniture, it's a big debt.

- You're done, right? You got the bartender, you got the catering. There's a lot that goes into having a Christmas party, at least in my wife's eyes. I said, this year, let's do something small, you know? Let's have eight, 10 people over at the house. We'll get our friend Dom to cater it. We'll get some drinks, I'll pour 'em. We don't need a bartender. But as it starts, you know,

to go, it's like, all right, next thing you know, there's a truck in the driveway and there's moving people in my house. So it's, I like to entertain. I really do. And if I spend my money on anything, I don't buy, I don't buy cars. I don't buy jewelry. I buy experiences. And if I have experiences with my friends, my family, or it's a vacation, I'd rather spend my money on that than go out and, and my home. I like to, I like to. Can you relax at your own party?

Yes, I can relax if there is a chef or a bartender there. If I'm cooking, I can't relax because I cooked for 14 people last year and it was a complete right. You know what my problem is with the cooking? I want to make everything. I just can't make steak and broccoli. I'm making apps.

I'm making multiple sides. Let's start with a pasta, and it's only me in the kitchen. I feel like I got a sous chef that I'm telling him, get this out, I'm doing everything. And my wife is the one who's socializing. So yes, I could relax if there's help there. Do you feel responsible for people socially? If somebody's bored at your party, do you feel like, okay, I gotta go give them attention? Or are you like, what's wrong with this guy?

We curate the party so well. That everybody that's there. The guest list is tough. Yeah, the guest list is a good guest list. We go, should we invite this couple because they would really get along with that couple. So we kind of like curate the party so everybody's having a good time. Generally speaking, there's no one really in the corner sulking. And I'm not the guy to go over there and like boost their spirits. I'm there.

Selfishly, so I could have a good time. Yeah. You want everybody to have a good time. But generally speaking, everybody at my parties is happy. But how do you deal with the politics of not inviting somebody that may be close to you or your wife? So that's similar to a wedding where you make the cutoff. Yeah. Right? So by the way, I gotta ask you something. Yeah. The mustache. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's not even a question. It's just a statement. Everybody has facial hair on their face here but me, right? But the only one really playing with it is him.

This is new for me. It took me 40 years to grow. So I'm still just making sure it's there. I think that's what it is. I'm like, I have it, right? Seth, this man's stuff. Think of all the questions you had about partying. I'm ready to get it.

I'm just constantly, no, no, no, tell me. But you know what? It really adds to the interview because how I associate this is interesting and what I'm talking about. I'm really trying to feel like, oh, this is... He seems devious sometimes, though, right? He looks like he tied a woman to a train track today. You know?

There's a little, you know. There is. Okay, but break it down. How do I cut people off? This is my biggest issue. Keep that mustache. They won't come. With my wife, anytime she wants to make a party for me or anything like that, I go...

I go, I can't do a party where there's only eight of us. I have so many friends that I would never want to feel left out or whatever. So it's like, you have to surprise me and then I'm not responsible if they're not there. But you will straight off just like cut

your friends that you care about and love and you've known for a while? Those people are invited, but there's like fringe friends. Is Pete at every party? If Pete lived in Los Angeles, he would be at every party. Every single party. His wife as well or no plus one? No, no, no. There are certain people in your life that there are standards that are going to come to your party. If you had a party, is everybody in this room invited? Everybody's invited. Okay. And

That blew his fucking mind. Even those guys? No, no, no. Behind the scenes? Is there a guy outside? We have a guy outside. Is he coming? He's coming. Okay, so...

He needs someone who's not coming. You can't believe it. Who's not coming. You can't believe it. Do you have comedian friends that you would cut off? There's a line there. Okay. There's a line there. Yeah, the cutoff starts at comedy. Comedy you'll find out there. Yeah, I mean, listen, you can't invite everybody you know. You know that. Not everybody's coming to your party. I mean, you could invite, you know, I just had a 50th birthday party. There was like 50 people at the party. Ooh, you kept it tight. I kept it tight. Because you could have extended. Yeah, we could have...

you know, really blown it out. But yeah. What do you spend on something like that? What do you spend on a nice little 50th birthday party? I mean, it's not 10 G's. Like you wouldn't just spend 10 grand on a little 50th birthday party. It's,

I'm not into pricing. Yeah, he's not comfortable with this. I mean, he's a Catholic kid. He's not going to talk about money. Italians never divulge what they're spending on stuff. Because they got over on you? Because if you got a deal, you would have told me. Please believe me. If you got a deal, the first thing you would have told me. I'll just give you this. A million? No, no, no. Not a million dollars. Two million? No. Two million dollars? What?

A party would be crazy. No. Can I guess? Can I throw a guess? You don't have to say yes or no. I think it's $75,000. Yeah. It might be $100,000 actually. Money is so dirty, right? Yeah. But it's so fun. Money is fun. Are you a guy that likes to tell people, yeah, I dropped 50 grand on a kid car? Yes, because-

Yes, exactly. Because it's so embarrassing. I can save the number. Yeah, but would you tell me how much you spent for your wedding? No, I wouldn't show. Okay, okay. We got a deal. I would tell you on the side because we got a deal.

We got a nice deal. All right, see, I wouldn't even tell you if when the camera's off and we leave, I wouldn't even tell you what I spent on my 50th birthday party. But you want to know what I spent on my wedding. I don't care. You do a little bit. I really don't. Just a little bit. Just a tiny bit. Just a tiny bit. Now that you know that there's a deal involved, I might know a guy. I didn't see you.

I didn't see your wedding. If I saw your wedding and I was invited, because what we do, Italians always try to figure out how much that stuff costs anyway. I would go, okay, what do you think he dreamt on this? You know the first thing I thought when I came in here? I started trying to figure out how much is a rent here? Or does he own it, right? That's the first thing I'm thinking. As soon as I walked in, I saw the bikes. I go, I know your bikes. Does everybody take a bike here? Yeah.

Did I not call this exactly? What did you say, Mark? I said, Sebastian's going to walk in and be like, what, is this a fucking car dealership? Motorcycles lined up on the inside of the thing? Yeah, I mean, that's just what goes on. It is peculiar to have all the bikes inside, right? Are those your bikes?

Technically, yeah, but everybody kind of has a bike and they all bring them inside where we all walk around and that's a lot of the outside inside, I feel. Okay. I feel like they could maybe park them outside. Well, no, I mean, if you got to, those bikes look expensive. Anytime I see a bike that's not a motorcycle that has a thick wheel like that, I'm thinking that's north of a $1,500, $2,000 bike out there. Those are kit bikes.

There's a kid bike. I got those for a fraction. I'll tell you how much we paid for the kid bike. There's an Armenian in Glendale. Huge discount. I'd love a kid bike. Can you give me a kid bike? I feel like you could get a lot of things. I don't know. I feel like. Why is that? Sponsor? That's what I thought. This is what you like. We found the things that you like. We made sure we get the essential water.

It's Mark, to be fair, but you curated. I thought that. Your publicist said he won't come on the pod unless he has his yerba mate. I said this can't be true. It's delicious. It's delicious. No, this is a nice touch.

that you actually did some homework on me and found my favorite things and had them here. That speaks a lot. We have all your favorite things. We have the yerba mate. We have the essential water. I know. Black. Don't look at me. He looked at me first when he said black. I just let that be known. He kind of stared right at it. He doesn't see color. He's not Chicago anymore. Laughter

He's like a Sicilian? Sicilians do, they're a little bit black, right, kind of? I don't exactly know. I just know that Sicilian people and black people love to dance. That is true. I have to say, I mean, you as a black guy, when you see an Italian on the dance floor, don't you go-

Top tier white. Top tier white. Wait, are Italians the best white dancers? Yeah. I would like to think so. Yeah. I mean, I think John Travolta proved that, right? I mean, come on. That's true. Are there any other white groups that dance? Irish got the jig.

Yeah, British. Spanish if you're from Spain. Like flamenco. But they also have that African influence. Yeah, anybody. You need a little song. All right, guys, you need to hurry up. It's time to talk about 8 Ball Pool, brought to you by Miniclip. I

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Just broke. Register now by going to 8ballpool.com/flagrant, claim the avatar, then get playing till Thursday. Bag as many W's as you can. Terms and conditions can be found on the website. And we will announce the winner December 19th. I'll see you at MSG. All right, folks, we gotta take a break 'cause I gotta tell you about the good folks at Keeps. Keeps gives you expert care for hair loss,

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Nice. Outdoor. You could do it. You could do it. You're not going to do it. What's the thing with the painting on the top? The Sistine Chapel. Yeah, you're not going to do it. No, not inside. We go outside. Outdoor. Oh, that would be sick. St. Peter's, Stilica. That's it. Alfresco. I like it. I mean. And you can do your act clean. Clean, right there, right in front of Jesus. Papa Francis goes there. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Get Pope Francis come through. Have you met the Pope? No. Have you? No. But I feel like you could make that happen. You don't think you could make... I can't get in. I can't get in. What do you mean, can't get in? I don't think I can get in to see the Pope. I'd have to go with somebody. Like, here. Who is going to take... You're the guy. We often talk about this on the Pete and Sebastian show. Okay. I think George Clooney calls the Vatican. He's in, right? No, this is...

You're in. Let me know. You're in with Clooney. You're in with Clooney, I'm saying. You got a Clooney, man. Clooney maybe earlier, but him saying I would need a Clooney, no. You could call. You're doing MSG four times. It's okay. Pope don't know that. Yeah.

You don't think the Pope knows that? You don't think the Pope got sent one of your bits? You don't think the Pope has seen you do comedy? I don't think so. Bro. No. I don't think the Pope's watching comedy. He's watching comedy. This Pope. This Pope? Yeah. This Pope is about it. This Pope is very progressive. Yeah. He's got gay people dancing. You know what I mean? Dinner with the trans again, bro. Yeah. He just did dinner. Exactly.

I don't know. I just don't see the Pope sitting down watching YouTube. You know, I feel like he should be doing all this shit. He's got Maniscalco on again. Let him be. Let him be. Dude, I think you'd be surprised who's seen it.

Like every president has seen, every like modern president has seen a clip. I'll give you an example. Okay. Last night, I went to Milos. Oh. Okay? Greek joint. Which one? Hudson Yards or the one up on 59th? 57th. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lovely, lovely. My favorite restaurant, right? Sit down with my two buddies and Clinton is behind me. Hillary or Bill? Both with another couple.

Swinging? How old is the couple? I don't know. You get older, you do weird things. I don't know. They're having branzini. Swinging. They're just out and about. And, you know, there was no... He came by, you know, very friendly. Did he say hi? No. Nothing. He was probably intimidated. Nothing. Intimidated. He could be intimidated. Were you wearing the leather? What were you wearing?

button-up shirt. It was nothing intimidating. It was all black. Oh, you weren't all black. But then it was like a gray shirt I had. And the guys that you were eating with, were these like serious guys? Italian guys. Yeah. Billy can't walk up to a table like that. What is he going to say? I don't know. This woman, this six-year-old woman came up to our table. She wasn't afraid. What, Clinton is? Yeah, dude. No. You know what I was surprised on? What?

A lot of people taking photos of him, just like this. Walking straight up like he's a fish. Yeah, I didn't really... I was like, what?

Isn't there like a... There was security there, but I was like, I thought they would shut that down. And they didn't at all? No. Were people taking pictures of you too? No. He was just the gravitation. When there's a president in the room, it's amazing how people behave. Regardless if you're a Republican or a Democrat. They can't even have a conversation. Yeah. I saw Madonna once at the... She was at the Comedy Cellar. She was just sitting down at a table and...

couldn't even talk to one another. Every conversation was like this. Yeah, so totally, we'll definitely go out to the, nobody was listening at all. Somebody said that about hanging out with Eddie Murphy. Everything just stops and everyone's looking at Eddie. Yeah. Was that what, was that with, was De Niro kind of, was that like being around De Niro? Like the energy? I,

I haven't been in a social environment with him, so I don't know how that works socially. And he's so unassuming when he's out and about that you don't even really know it's him. Sometimes I didn't even know it was him. When we did the table read, I didn't even recognize him. He came in like a little hat. Yeah. He had a beard. I wouldn't have recognized him on the street or if he was in a restaurant unless somebody told me. Yeah. But no, I didn't have that with him on set. I felt like on set it was like a work environment. Yeah.

And everybody was kind of like in our own little bubble. Is he funny at all? Like in between takes and that kind of shit, would he bust your balls a little bit? No. Nothing? No. Are you trying to make them laugh? I'm not trying to make anybody laugh. No. When I'm doing a movie, that's all I'm concerned about is I got to memorize these lines. No small talk. No, not a lot of that. He would like go to his chair after the scene. I would go to my chair.

And he would have like, you know, a bunch of papers and whatnot, be on the phone, he'd be talking. I go, is this guy opening up another notebook? This is your life's work. This is the pinnacle of your career. This guy's flipping through the fucking times. Yeah, it is.

He's looking at the expense reports. So I didn't know there wasn't that relationship. He's a quiet guy. Yeah. He's a quiet guy. He's kind of to himself and he doesn't talk a lot. If you talk to him, he'll engage. Yeah. But it's not like we cut and I'm like, what's going on? Where are you going tonight? There's none of that. He's like, I'm 80. I'm going to go to bed. I'm going to get some rest. Where am I going tonight? What about Pesci? Was Pesci a little bit... Pesci...

He was very cordial and hey, welcome to the set, nice. And then he called me into his dressing room afterwards. We spoke in there. He was a lot more out.

Yeah, we golfed together back in LA. So he's definitely a more of a kind of a outgoing guy. He lived with my grandparents weirdly for like a year. Really? He was like a teenager. This isn't like Montclair, New Jersey. I think he grew up out there in like in Montclair. How are your grandparents? He was friends with my uncle. And I think that, I don't know, he like needed a place to stay or some shit and ended up just kind of like living with the grandparents and my uncle for a little while.

Yeah, randomly. That's crazy. Yeah, and then just goes and becomes one of the most iconic actors ever. But yeah, they were just like sipping Robitussin for a summer. I think back in the day, Robitussin had like the...

What is it called? The amphetamines? Yeah, it had like amphetamines. The lean. So you could get kind of like high on it. How do you know that? This guy knows everything. He knows how to sell a fake Porsche. Does the movie sets ever get monotonous? Like, are you annoyed being on the set of a movie? It's not. It was not the most fun experience for me. What bothers you about it? You know, doing stand-up, you know, it's like... You can't even compare it. You can't compare it. It's so best gig of the year. Boring compared to stand-up. Yeah.

But you still want to do it. Like, I understand. I imagine where you're coming from, which is like your whole life. You're watching movies and you're seeing these things come to life. You're like, I have the opportunity to do it with the greatest actors ever. And also storytelling, which is what we do in comedy. The pinnacle of storytelling, in my opinion, is through film. Like you actually get to fucking see it. But while you're making it.

But what's more satisfying when it's done, when you're watching it back? That's where you get the satisfaction. So you got to kind of keep your eye on the prize going, okay, you got to kind of go through all this. And at the end of this, the end product is what you're kind of hoping that turns out fabulous. Is that more satisfying than watching one of your specials when it's done and edited and all that?

I even don't even like watching the specials. I like the process of doing stand-up comedy. I don't necessarily like to watch the end product on a special. Is it hard, like, doing jokes? And everybody on set can't laugh because it fucks up the take. Did you get used to, like, doing jokes to silence people?

That was a big, big problem for me, still is. So you would do this scene, right? As a comedian, they yell cut and you're like, where's the standing ovation? We're moving on, moving on. There's no feedback. No feedback. Although doing this new show, I,

So Chuck Lorre and Nick Bacai are very good about laughing. It's great. It was bookie on Max, by the way. Yeah. Some directors know what comics need, and they'll kind of lean in a little bit more to it because we do need – because there's moments when I came to the screening of the movie about my father, right? And there's moments where you're doing like – you're being big.

like the bird thing where the actor you're doing and it was like I'm imagining you doing that on set and everybody's told to be quiet and then they're going cut and I'm imagining what I would feel in that moment like I'm being big and I'm trying to be funny feel this big yeah see if I could like reach out here and do something funny or whatever and you do that and a cut and then it's like De Niro takes out the times bro

Silence in an act out is just brutal. Oh, dude. It's so harsh. Well, you're hoping they all cut and everybody like is holding it in. Yeah. But when they don't hear it even after the cut, you're like, oh, that died. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

What was the biggest bomb you felt on set? That one. That 100%? Yeah, that was definite. Can you describe the scene for people watching? So I'm like, I'm walking around. Me and De Niro are in a bedroom. And we're talking about my wife's side of the family. And I think the line was something like, yeah, and they're walking around like birds. I'm like, baa! Baa!

But I'm even watching it, I go, I don't think that's that funny. Even I said, as I was watching, I go, no wonder I didn't get a laugh. That sucked. But in the room is just the two of them, so it's him and De Niro, and he's going for it. And you don't know in the moment, is De Niro going, this is the funniest shit I've ever seen? Is he egging you on? Or is he going...

I think he was even going, what are you doing? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Why? Why? Why? Why? I just, because you saw it. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

I'm sure you were sitting in your seat going, what the fuck is that? So, yeah, no, I don't know. It was a learning experience, that movie. You got to say your Eddie Murphy one. Oh, dude, I bombed so big in front of Eddie. Eddie's the reason I did stand-up. And I had three lines in this movie. And I have, like, one with Eddie.

And the line, I fuck up seven times in a row. And it's not a scene where there's like six people here and a few cameras. It's in a nightclub with minimum 100 naked strippers dancing around. Okay. And then people fake tipping the strippers, whatever. It's Jonah Hill, it's Eddie Murphy.

And I got to say a line, and I don't even know what the fucking line is, to be honest with you. Even to this day, I've blacked it out, PTSD. But it's something like, yeah, you know he was doing coke because he had it all over the strip in Las Vegas. And I go, you know he's on a strip in Vegas. Ah, fuck. You know he's on a coke. And I do five in a row, and I finally get it. And I'm like, yeah, you know he's doing coke during his trip in Las Vegas. And then Eddie's supposed to kind of play with me. He goes, yeah. Yeah.

Bro, pin drop nothing, okay? I'm sitting there and I'm just like, well, this is everything I've ever dreamed for in my entire life. Everything I've ever worked for, nothing. I'm sitting there. I'm like, fuck, man. I just fucked up my moment. Because that day, that morning, I'm going in going, I'm going to kill this line. And he's going to go, we should go back out on tour. You know what I mean? It's over. Yeah.

Literally the next scene, you know, Felipe Esparza. Yeah, yeah. Hilarious comic. Felipe comes out. He has a line, right? And he comes in and his line is, hey man, I got you these things. It's the edible arrangements, right? He comes in, he goes, I got you these things, these edible arrangements. Eddie's supposed to respond to him. He stops the scene. He goes, stop. He looks at Felipe, he goes-

You're fucking hilarious. Stop production. He goes, you're hilarious. That was amazing. Let's do that again. And you're there watching us. I'm sitting there watching, faking tip strippers. And he's doing his line. And Eddie's like, you got to do that again. Just one tear comes down. So you were hoping that he would have said that to you? Of course. Are you kidding me? So did you have any banter with him?

coming into the scene off. No, I was like so nervous to even like, I just, you know, hold them to such high regard that I didn't, I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable. Yeah. Yeah. In any way. You have so many scenes with De Niro that doesn't go well in your eyes. Are you scared to improv with them after? Uh, yeah, your confidence is a little shot. Yeah. I think, you know, coming off, uh, coming off a physical bit in a movie and they get nothing. The next scene we're like, Oh, just stick it to the script. Yeah.

Stop improvising. Oh, that was a choice you made at one point. It was like, you know, in the moment. Comic, we're going for it. Can you explain the idea of making a choice in acting? Because I think that's something a lot of people don't get. You get a script, but it doesn't tell you physically what else to do. Like, there's a story you told about the flick in the pen on Pesci's cook. Yeah, LaPelle. Yeah, yeah. And...

Doesn't tell you to do it in the script. It doesn't tell you, but you start doing stuff in a scene that might not be written in the script. The problem is, if you do not commit, and this is true to stand up comedy, and I know this because I could tell if I don't commit to a bit.

It's dead in the water. Same thing with acting. If you do not commit 100% to what you're doing, it comes off as false, fake, people see right through it. And I believe when I was walking around that bedroom like a bird, it wasn't 100% commitment to me.

Can you show us what that would look like 100%? Oh, God. Almost like... Even just doing it, if you want me to get physical... It would... See, I didn't get that. I see it. I see it. I didn't even...

Nobody did that. Nobody did that. That's what I was looking for in the scene. See, I just started to do a little of it and I'm getting laughs. It wasn't as committed and it shows. It bleeds right through the film.

You saw it, I was looking at it in the movie theater going, it's so funny. It's not funny. It was not- You're heckling your own movie? I'm telling you. This guy stinks. It sucks. Who is this guy? For me- Did they yell cut mid? Tell me what happens in the scenes. No, I think I'm doing that even longer. Yeah.

You know, trying to make something happen. There's no way to cut around it because you could have cut it out. It's your movie. Yeah, but even like that needed to be in there because, you know, I go, you know, is this the best we got? I mean...

You have grander ideas in your head of how something is going to go. Like you and Eddie Murphy. You thought that was going to be, oh, this is going to be an amazing scene. And when it doesn't go as amazing as you'd like it to go, it's A, a learning experience, and B, it's very disappointing. But I took all those experiences from that movie and built upon it for the next project. That movie I had...

Excruciating and I'm making excuses. I'm just saying what was going on in my head. Yeah, I had excruciating Sciatic pain ripping down my right leg right from the bird. No, no, no just from life. Oh from stress and back issues and I was in Alabama and

Away from my family away from my kids for nine weeks and I was contemplating. What am I doing here? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah two kids Yeah, I'm doing a movie. This is fantastic, but I felt like I was disappointing almost my family Yeah, it's a long that was a long time. So yeah, so not to say that

That I wasn't 100% committed, but externally, I wasn't in a good place. Plus, if you're on the road for stand-up, every night you know, I crush. So I'm away from my family, but I know what I just did. Movie, you don't know. I also think that people don't realize, and again, I'm not trying to counter pockets here, but when someone like you does a movie, when someone like Kevin Hart does a movie, oftentimes they're losing money. They have to stop touring.

I'm hoping that maybe this movie, it absolutely explodes and you get a piece of it. Obviously, I don't know what the financials are right there, but like, I don't think people realize that. I think people just go, oh, movies, everybody makes $20 million a movie and that's just what it is. It's a labor of love until you're George Clooney. Absolutely. That was...

I basically did the movie for free. It was a free, in comparison to what I make doing stand-up comedy. This was like, but you want to broaden your audience. Sometimes you want to challenge yourself. Let's see what a movie feels like. Let's see what a TV show feels like. You kind of got to get out of your comfort zone. What do you think with the TV show?

I think in terms of scheduling and lifestyle easier than the film for me it was because it was in LA. Yeah. Yeah. It was with Chuck Lorre Chuck Lorre maybe give some background on like what he's done in monster television. Yeah. Two and a half men. Yeah. Big bang theory, young Sheldon mom. He don't need to work anymore. Yeah. No need to work anywhere. Kaminsky method. So he, he,

He was a joy to work with and working with someone like that who's got north of 1000 episodes of TV under the belt, and they're all successful. I felt a lot more comfortable with him in that environment. We were in Los Angeles, he knows what he wants, he's quick.

The whole thing about these TV affiliates, like you're waiting around. - All fucking days. - This was really quick. I mean, this was like nine, 10 hour days, which is for that type of stuff is short, short days. So I had a really, totally different experience doing "Bookie" than I did the movie. Not the poopoo of the movie, but the-- - Who else is in "Bookie"? - Omar Dorsey plays my muscle.

Andrea Anders is in it, plays my wife. Vanessa Ferlito is my sister. Does your wife get to choose who your wife is or have a say? No. We ran into a little issue when I did a pilot six years ago for NBC. Remember that pilot? And Vanessa Lachey was going to play my wife. And my wife all of a sudden wanted to get into acting. Because I could do it.

You could do it. Yeah, yeah. So she had like a, there was a little kind of- Think it was some jealousy? A little bit. A little bit. Not necessarily. I just think that's kind of hard to swallow sometimes that your husband is going to have a wife on set. There might be a kissing scene. I don't blame her. And she's fabulous. I mean, just-

Just, she's so easygoing. But that one little, that was like a little like,

I want to do it. I want to try acting. How did you work that out? I said, you ain't doing that. What was her reaction? No, she got over it. I think it was just a small speed bump in the road. It was fine. But other than that, since then, I've had...

Couple wives and and shows and she's doesn't care anymore. So your wife on this show is just she's I If your wife doesn't get insecure like did we hire We doing

You know what? We ended up becoming good friends with Vanessa and Andrea. All the wives I've had in these films, Leslie Bibb and Bob, my father, we've become fast friends with their families. So it's been great. Isn't Charlie Sheen on this one? Charlie Sheen makes an appearance. Yeah, Charlie Sheen's... He's in the trailer. Yeah. Chuck Lorre and Charlie Sheen, they kind of parted ways after TNF. They blow out.

And this is kind of the reunion of Chuck Glory and Charlie Sheen. So I collect, he plays himself.

So he's running a poker game out of a rehab facility that he used to go to. And he's not in the rehab, he's just running the poker game. And I go to collect money 'cause I'm his bookie. And he's in two of the episodes, so. - Wait a minute, so how was Charlie? Was he cool? - He's cool, great, great guy. Very humble, very quiet. You know, very quiet, very professional. I mean, this guy's been acting, God knows, 40 years.

Sober? Running like, yeah. So he's just, he's back in, wow. He was a joy. Did he reflect at all in that time where? No, never brought up. Wait, so you didn't, when you're hanging with him, I know as a comedian, there's part of you that's like, just fucking tell me.

I ain't that guy. Yeah, I don't think he's that guy. You couldn't look at my mustache without bringing it up. But that's different. I know, but this is, we're talking about, we're talking about like a, this guy is traumatic point in his life. I'm not going to bring that back up. It's a really good point. You compared to your mustache? I'm a crazy person.

I think that's what we realized after that moment right there. You're right. Thank you. Yeah, no, there was no mention of that. I kept it professional. I feel like, yeah, for you, private lives are private lives. Yeah, whatever you do, it's your business. But also, what a great idea, because who is not going to at least tap into one episode outside of your fans? Like, your fans are going to show up.

But the world that doesn't know or doesn't care yet to see your show, but is like, what is Charlie Sheen up to, is going to tap in. Yeah, you would think. And he's a stud, acting-wise. He's great. He's great. And where did the character come from, the bookie? Was it your creation? No, nothing. Chuck and Nick Bakai. Nick Bakai was a writer who...

is involved in gambling. He's involved in that world. He likes to gamble and he knows the ins and outs of bookies and whatnot. They said, hey, I pitched him a story about my life. But then I'm like, as I'm pitching, I go, do I really want to be me again? Can I pitch you something real quick that might already have been made, but I think it's the wildest story. This is one I told you about. World War II, America has to go and kind of fuck up Italy a little bit.

They have to find a way to enter Europe. They find out that the Italian mob in Sicily is very against Mussolini.

So they connect with Lucky Luciano in New York and ask if they can get help from the Italian mob to map out Sicily so they can invade from the south. So the mob in New York and Sicily helps the American army enter Italy and rid it of the tyrant that is. Imagine a mob movie where you can root. You're rooting for them. How has this not been made? No, and this might show my ignorance.

Is this a true story? This is a true story. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. This is a true fucking story. I had no idea. There's all these fake mob stories. You have the craziest real mob story that involves real dude like Lucky Luciano. I'm pretty sure it's Lucky, right? He started the mob. This is a real fucking guy.

They get to be the pseudo good guys during this. It does sound like a story like an Italian uncle made up though, right? You know, it might be. You know, we killed the Nazis, right? We got them out. You know, we ended World War II. Yeah. Really? Is that true? I mean, how is that? Isn't that like an amazing- I think it's a fabulous story. And I think, I'm surprised you wasted the pitch here. Yeah. Cut it. Cut that into Charlie Sheen. Cut both of those. Take that. Take that out. Yeah.

Keep the bars. Is this real time? We're live. Operation Husky was what it was called. I had no idea. That is a great premise for a movie.

I like it. You should cut that out, though. You should pitch that. Cut it out. We sell it together, guys? We sell it. We go in together. We take it there. We need an Italian to help with the sale. I'll just be there and he can do the pitch and I'll just be there as the Italian. The Scottish guy can't appropriate Sicilian culture, so we need some warm blood in there. Did you have to talk to real bookies for this role? I asked Chuck, should I do a deep dive? Because I was like,

be collaborative and whatnot. He goes, no, don't, don't, you know, don't, don't, don't, you know, we want you. We want you, not what a traditional... Yeah, how much of you did you feel comfortable bringing on to this? A lot. Okay. A lot. I mean, I play a very sympathetic bookie. I'm not out to like break legs and bust heads. But yeah, he wanted more kind of my take on it, not so much... Yeah, I...

researched a little bit about bookies and talked to people who use bookies. I've never used a bookie before. But it was interesting to find out a bookie in this particular landscape of how he's navigating possible pending doom of the state of California legalizing gambling and where does that leave him? And I also like the fact that we go into a lot of

different areas in Los Angeles. Like we're collecting money from a trust fund kid, we're collecting money from a housewife, a college kid, and everybody in between. So it takes you into a lot of different environments where

It's like, oh, okay, this is cool and it plays to my comedy because it's, you know, I observe and get a chance to play a lot with the environment. That's really smart. Yeah, there was a show called High Maintenance. It was like a really successful web series that HBO did where a weed delivery guy went to a bunch of different houses. And this is that but more interesting. Mm-hmm.

It's a bookie, which is just automatically worth passing. This is something Akash does a lot. It's like when you have this great idea that you think is unique, he just likes to remind you that it's been done before. He does this five times a month. But this is better. I was shocked when I said that thing about World War II. He wasn't, oh, yeah, that was already done. Indians did that a long time ago. Yeah, that's how we got the British out of that.

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My reason for it was while I was working at the Four Seasons Hotel, I did not like necessarily waiting on tables. I got burned out. So when I would go to Vegas, I would gamble hoping I would win so I could take off work and concentrate more on stand up. Obviously that didn't work. I didn't win.

Later, I found out the only way you really leave a casino with money is performing there and that's the route What was your game when you played them blackjack and wheel of fortune? The bus game the bus game break down wheel of fortune literally little fortune slot machine and

No. How much are you throwing in per game? It was I think $3 to get the spin. And back then when you're making a grand a week at a comedy club, $3 is a lot of money. That's up. So that was my game. And there was a machine at Treasure Island.

- It was loose. - That used to pay and then it was loose. Next time I went in there, they remodeled the whole thing. - They were onto you. - Of course I tried to find it. And I lost everything. - Most of the most you were ever up to. - I left Las Vegas, and again, this is pittance.

With $1,500, and I thought I was loaded. The richest man on the planet. I thought I was loaded. I thought, man, they're going to have to close it down. Oh, yeah. That was it. It was nothing big. Are you into fights at all? Are you into boxing? I love boxing. I have never been to a live UFC or boxing match, and it's one of my bucket lists to

When do you wanna go? Let's go. Yeah, we need to go. I need to go. I mean, we're gonna have to make some cuts, right? Not everybody's gonna be invited. Well, let's say if you call me up and say, hey, I got tickets to go to see, name the fighter. Is everybody going? Is everybody in the room going? That's the weird thing about me is that, yeah, and it makes it really hard.

So where do we're... I roll like Wu-Tang Clan. Oh, you come deep. Yeah. Okay, see, if I called you and said, let's go out to dinner or let's go to an event, it's just me and you. Yeah, my wife's not even... I show up with my wife, you're like, what are you doing? Who invited her? If it's a couple thing...

You'll tell us. I'll let you know. But yeah, it's nice that you incorporate everybody. It's nice. It's cute, right? But even like if you get invited to something that he's going to and you find out everybody's going, do you go in? Everybody loses the allure for me. Yeah, exactly. So I shouldn't invite him? We're all going to UFC thing. He's like, yeah, I got everyone tickets in my home. I'm like,

- Oh, that's very nice. That's very nice. You're very inclusive. - Yeah. - Right? Have you always been like that? - Yeah. - Very inclusive, very kind of outgoing guy? - I think it's more just like I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings or make them feel like they're not a part of it. - Okay, so if you had your choice, not everybody would go. You just feel bad. You feel bad.

In my mind, I thought I was being the good guy in that moment, and you just exposed what a piece of shit I am. He's being soft. Yeah, he's like, oh, if I don't find him, they're going to be mad at me. Right? I wouldn't want them to feel like they're not an equal part in this. But he does it to his detriment. He'll get two seats ringside. He gets to be right there, and then instead it's all seven of us in the middle, in the back.

because he'd rather have more seats in the back than the two up front. And I'm looking at him like an idiot, like, dude, just take the better seats. Okay, so you would sacrifice your own pleasure of watching something for the betterment of the team. He doesn't want to go with you anymore. Unless my wife is there and because she won't sacrifice her watching enjoyment. I was like, yeah, we could just sit in a shittier place, but we'll all sit together and she'll be like,

Why? Yeah. She wants the front row. No, it's very commendable. I like your style in that way. I wish I could be more inclusive like that and invite a lot more people. But I'm just not like that. I like a tight, tight group. Tight. Eight tops? Eight.

I said two, me and somebody else. That's it. There is a number though of like a dinner, for example. There's a number where it breaks off into so many little conversations. It's like, why are we all eating together? Do you know what I'm talking about? Like,

What is it? Maybe six. When they started making you the prefix meal because you went over eight. It's a long table, not a round table. Yeah, we're not all hanging out anymore. Do you know what I'm saying? It's an eight top round, which I think is a good line. The Chinese, they get it right. You go eight top rounds and they have the thing spinning. Everybody could talk to everybody. It's perfect. When you go long...

You go long, you only got this person here, right and left, and maybe a couple diagonals. Maybe. Maybe. But I feel round is... Be honest, when you go out and you see a long table, do you jockey? I leave. Andrew leaves too. He's got the prereq. No, must have backs. Oh, that's the other thing. I don't do like... A communal table picnic stuff. If it's a bench with no back...

I'll leave the restaurant. That bothers me. I can't. I need a back to a seat. I'm at a point where my back muscles are not strong enough for me to just sit upright for a whole dinner. And also digest. I mean, it's... The whole thing. It is ruined if there's not a back. If it's a tall stool for me and no back, I'm not sitting on a tall stool. That's my job. You could just do a bar stool for dinner? Oh, no, no. I mean, I don't know if I would go as far as like leaving the restaurant if there was no back.

No other option. On the seat. Yeah, I mean, well, it depends. If you and your wife go out and there's no back on the seat, are we just- We're eating at home. Okay, well- Or we're going to another restaurant. Okay. Or I have to find a wall next to the end of the bar, and that's my back.

It's good that you know what you want, right? Support this. I can't. You support it? Absolutely. Really? I can't believe that you would tolerate such a thing. Well, the restaurants I generally pick, they're not picnic tables. No, some foodie spots will do this, and you're like, what are we doing? Yo, have you been to Tokyo? Have you been to Japan? Yeah.

I have been to Japan, but on a USO tour, not for a vacation. Okay, so no sushi. You didn't do it. Yeah, we didn't do the whole- Like you would now. You didn't go out and go out. No, at the time, no, I did not go out. Why is it? I mean, I went with my wife. We had amazing sushi. But there's a place that I would recommend avoiding that you might want to frequent if you hadn't spoken to me first. You know the Jiro guy from Jiro Dreams of Sushi? Yeah, yeah.

That was the worst sushi we had. Really? Yeah. Almost inedible. Really? Yeah. Isn't he like at a train station? Yeah. Yeah. No good. Hard to find. Hard to find. Hard to get in. Hard to get in? How'd you get in? Like, what do you do internationally to get into a joint like that? Do you got to go through? Are you involved in that? Oh, this guy. Let me tell you something. Yeah. This guy, there is no door that cannot be opened.

It is one of the most amazing things watching him amoeba into whatever he needs to be in order to get us where we need to go. You haven't never seen anything like this. Well, give me like an example. I mean, the Jamil example when you guys are at the place in London, you remember this? I wasn't even there. This is something he told me. Okay, there you go. Or me in study abroad with you.

Oh, okay. This goes back to when we were kids. We were in Paris, 21 years old. I go to visit him in Paris.

He goes, listen, the way you get into nightclubs here, there's an old lady that's at the door for every nightclub. Right. And he goes, if I look at you, just nod and smile. I go, what are you going to say? He goes, don't worry about it. If I look at you, you just nod and smile. Right. We go up. There's like fucking eight guys. There's like we should never be in this fucking nightclub. He goes, he starts schmoozing. He speaks French. He's talking to the old lady, looks over and I just go walk in.

takes us to some table. I'm up there, everybody's dancing. All of a sudden the owner of the nightclub comes and walks over, right? And he's like, he goes, hey man, thank you so much for coming. This means so much to us that you would be here. And I'm like, all right. And he goes, and congratulations about your movie. I'm like, okay. And I find out he told them that I was Ashton Kutcher. Oh.

So I'm, no, fuck you. I'm sitting there with the owner the whole night because he just fucking, you know, yapping in my ear while he's out here trying to take down chicks to his horrible little. Which I did. Thank you. Anyway. But is that premeditated? You go in to these. He's flexible. You have to figure out what they want, what they need. You know how Floyd just figures it out in the ring? Yes. That's this guy. And I've seen him do it across the board. What's the Jameel thing in London? The Jameel thing is a similar thing, but it's the Olympics in London and he goes up to the door.

And he goes and looks at Jamil. Jamil's a taller black dude with dreads. And Jamil just waves. Same exact thing. Told Jamil he was a runner. Yeah, Olympic athlete. Olympic athlete. We had our passes from viewing the Olympics, but it looked official. And I'm the Jewish guy next to a cool-looking black guy. And I'm like, yeah, I managed them. And he's on the 4x400. You can't pick the specific event. You have to be part of the relay team so that they're not going to. No, that's supposed to be. This is the move. This is the move. He does this.

He'll Google who the owner is, right? And when he goes and talks to the maitre d', it's just word salad. He's not even making complete sentences. But he'll get the owner's names, right? And he'll be like, hey, how you doing so much? Yeah, we're just in from Miami and Art Basel. And obviously this whole F1 thing is such a debacle.

David Lucas told me to come by in any way. He just buzzwords, buzzwords, buzzwords. And they're in a fucking tailspin. They have no clue what to do, and they just go, fine table. You've never seen anything like this. You have to confuse them. When you're dealing with somebody, you don't even speak the language. That, you go with the hotel. The hotel does everything. Oh, the hotel. The hotel.

That shit is hard to get into. Over there, things are hard to get into for them. But when you're just at a hotel, you tell the concierge and they want foreigners to go. It was probably the easiest reservation to get. But do not go. It was 22 minutes, $500. Oh, it wasn't $500. $1,000? Because you have to buy a blazer. Oh, that's right. I bought a suit to go because I read all the rules. You have to respect this as tradition. We didn't drink alcohol there. We didn't even talk to each other.

Like it was awful. I hate that sushi shit. You don't talk. It's just sitting at the bar. That's a date night. That's terrible. I mean, I wanted it. Here you don't have that. Here we do whatever. Even the sushi bars where it's just a bar and it's not really tabled. I'm not sitting next to you like it's fucking lunch. They're not a talkative bunch, the Japanese. I know. I know. Get what they do. Assimilate a little bit. They don't like to chop it up about what's going on. No. Well, they speak Japanese. You don't. Right? You know what? They might be talking. Yeah. That is a good point. Yeah.

No, we would go and see the people on dates there and they'd just both be on their phones. Yeah. They're a quiet culture. Quiet culture. And they're very neat. I like Japanese people. Very neat and very systematic. Yeah, that's a big thing for you. I like organization. Did a mess outside bother you when you walked in? Absolutely. Thank you. We cleaned up for you.

Do your kids do a wrench knot, though? You're so organized, also, and you have these kids. I'm not that organized. Listen, I play it up. It's not like I've got matching sock drawer and whatnot. I mean, yeah, they're organized, but no, you're organized. You're organized. If you had a matching sock drawer, you'd be happy. Yeah, I have bags.

No, it didn't bother me. I mean, listen, it's a hang. It's a bunch of guys hanging around. It's a bunch of bikes. What's going on? This is a beautiful studio. It's a hang, though. What does it mean, a hang? It's like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It's not a layer. Are you saying this is a layer? Listen, you have bikes next to the couch. So it's like a hang.

I guess it is a hang. It's like a frat. It's got like a fraternal environment. Did you have to do any weird stuff to get into your frat?

No, you know the only thing I had to do was And I don't even know if this is even bad, but they belong they put a blindfold on me Crawling on the floor and there was potato chips on the floor and they told told us it was glass and

That was like a little mind trick. And then they... Did you react and say, I'm not doing this? No, I didn't. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. I wasn't one of those guys. All right, I ain't doing that. All right, what do you want me to do? I'm on the floor? I'm on the floor. Yeah. I ended up coming to the president of the fraternity. Oh, really? And we eliminated that thing.

Making a whole mess. There's food on the ground. Yeah, when I ran the fraternity, I was a little bit more like, I pitched a computer lab room. No, no, no, no. No, this is what you need, though, from a fraternity president. I was in a fraternity. This is how our president was. Same thing. Yeah, so we were in a party house. I said, let's take some of this money we're doing for after hours. We'll buy three computers. We don't have to go down to the library and use the computers. We could print our resumes right here. Fuck this.

Dad, we ain't doing that. And the computer room was never a thing. I got voted down. But this is where my head was. I wanted to be productive. And the fraternity that I was with, they wanted to party. Sigma Pi? Sigma Pi, yeah. Sigma Pi. Were you in a fraternity? No. No? Yeah. It wasn't that big at my school. There was fraternity. Like, he was in the Jewish fraternity. Yeah, I paid Jews and you got to party for free at my fraternity.

He's held on to these Jews for 25 years. What a crazy thing that happened. The non-Jewish guy got something for free. No, but they had good parties.

And the Jews all joined the Jewish frat. But outside of that, it wasn't like some schools you need to be in a fraternity to have social life. You lived on the beach. You had a fun house. Yeah, your school was like a party school. That was the best school to go to in California, in my opinion. Did you ever go up there? Crazy weekends? Well, I went to the wood ranch, whatever the hell you work at. What was it called? Wood brick? Bricks. Bricks.

Bricks got that. Yeah, Lovewood Ranch. Yeah. But even then, I went to Bricks. I did the gig. And I went back to Los Angeles. Immediately. Yeah, immediately. Gone. I had to run out of that place. That was a nightmare of a gig. Why? I thought you killed. Killed. There was no introduction. It was like. They were eating. The people were just eating. Yeah, the people were eating. And next thing you know, they're like, what? Comedy? Yeah. It was like a surprise. Yeah. Yeah.

And I just, you know, but those are the gigs that make you the comedian you are today. You gotta go into Bricks at 7.30 during a full meal and make, you know, 100 people laugh that are, you got eggplant hanging out of their mouth. You know what I find interesting is people are really, really supporting stand-up comedy, live entertainment as a whole. I think the numbers are up, you know, 29% from last year. So, I mean, yeah, I did some research. It's like stockbrokes.

It's amazing. Well, I love the business of comedy, too. Just, you know, trying to figure out, like, even ticket pricing and whatnot. Yeah. And all that stuff. But, yeah, I feel. What are you doing for that? What are you doing to figure out the ticket pricing? Well, I, you know, even, like, I got an opportunity to go to the Middle East. I think you were, were you just there? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we were out there.

Abu Dhabi. Abu Dhabi, yeah. I don't know what... Are you doing that one? No, no. I don't know what it was. Recently it came in. But before I go there... We priced ours on yours. We're like, whatever you're paying Sebastian, I need to make 15%. I was the model? Yeah, but I like to dig in. Who's been there? What was their average ticket price when they were there? I like to figure out where...

where you price yourself and what the demand is. But I mean, live shows right now are through the roof. I mean, if you look at what Ed Sheeran, Taylor Swift, and Beyonce. I think everybody's locked in for COVID and now they feel like they're free to go out. When does that end? When does that dip off? I think it's starting a little bit. Yeah? A little bit. And not dip off to zero, but I think it's like...

the market is cooling a bit. Yeah, it will just regress back to like a good solid place. Yeah. And I think those people that have audiences won't feel it as much as maybe people that haven't built in like a real core fan base. Yes, I would agree with you. But you know, I mean, do an arena- I mean, after your tour, it will- Paper off. Yeah, exactly. After the tour you just announced, then your tour will probably be the last one is what I suspect. No, it'd be interesting. It'd be interesting to see.

It's just because, you know, it's a lot of pressure to come up with material. That's the thing. Like, you don't... Well, you have a podcast, but it's not like a source of your life's income. Like, you can't just... Your podcast is broke. That's what I'm trying to say. It is. Fortunately, you make the most money ever doing comedy so you can afford these amazing things that you do. But...

For us, we can make a living on the pod and then it puts less pressure on, okay, I gotta get a new hour ready to go by this time. Okay, I'm gonna ask you a question. Talk to me. You guys do this podcast. Yeah. Is there a secret? Yes. To the podcast? Yeah. Okay, you guys are all funny, you have a great camaraderie, you have guests on. Yep. Is it the guests? What do you think makes a successful podcast? Yeah.

The bikes by the sofa. Yeah, the bikes are huge. The bikes are huge. Besides the bikes and the guru you got sitting there. Our main success by being serious is the fact that we don't have Pete Correale on the podcast. I think that's what makes us. I think that's what makes us. Just ours. That's just ours. Again, I don't know. Love you, Pete. You're the fucking man. But no, I think it's like, obviously, you got to take a seat. Like, you guys were doing Zoom for a while.

Yeah. You can't do Zoom. Nobody wants to watch a fucking Zoom anything, right? Like, I don't want to watch a news interview on Zoom. I don't want to see anything on Zoom ever. Okay. Even if it's like war news, I'm just like, oh, it's Zoom? Yeah. Get out there, buddy. Totally agree with you. Yeah. Totally agree with you. But our podcast was almost like this. We've been doing it for 10 years. Pete's been in some place else. I've been... So we just... It wasn't really...

It was something that's like a hobby almost. Yeah. But then we started to really kind of get into it. I go, yeah, let's try in-studio stuff. Let's try some guests. Let's see what happens there. I mean- It immediately changed, huh? Not that it skyrocketed, but we have a spike in listeners. Yes. And there's nothing better than in-room contact. Like if I was-

phoning this thing in on the screen. You couldn't smell it. I couldn't smell you. The laugh is in a delay and all this other stuff. The audience can feel it. But also the cool thing is that you get to work

From home you're around your family. You know what I mean? It's just one of things where you don't have that pressure to oh shit I need a new hour by February. So I let's go cuz this tour starts here and I gotta fucking go Yeah, you could do that whatever the hell you want to yeah, you know, yeah, but but it is difficult to to come up with how the fuck are you coming up with a new hour?

well, I got to live. That's why I took some time off. I was constantly on the road, this and that. I had no time to even live my life to extract any material. So I said, you know what? Let me take a beat here. Let me concentrate on other things, whether it be a TV show, the podcast. Let me spend some time with my family. And I was talking to Chris Rock about this, and he kind of put it

Because there's no way you could make it an entrance if you never leave the room. Yeah, and get slapped a bit. Yeah But yes, you gotta live you gotta have some talk about live a life we're talking about there's there's a There's a thing that sometimes you see comics doing with it. I

As part of the joke, they're referencing when they did one time I did this in Alabama and then this happened. And every time I see it, I'm like, oh, you're not living a life outside of comedy. Like the only things that are happening to you that are like worth talking about are the other things that are happening in comedy. Yeah. And people don't do comedy. They don't do comedy. They live life. Yeah.

I agree. Yeah, you gotta extract from real life experiences. So this one right now, this tour that you're announcing, tickets are on sale. Right now. Right this second. Yeah, Ticketmaster. And it's for July. And this...

This one, you were telling me before, this is about just how insanely rich you are. Right? Didn't you say? No, I didn't have a clue. You were like, I have so much money now. So now I get to tell everybody. Cole, I stopped being relatable. You guys won't get it. Is that what this is? No, you're not. You don't have money until you start parking bikes in your living room.

That's been a real success. Okay, so they can go check out the tour. They check out the show. The show's available on Max. Now it's called Max. We knew it as HBO Max before that. Now...

Anybody who has HBO Max, obviously you're going to check out this show. Max, I guess HBO owns the company. Break it down. What happened with that? What is going on? It's Max. I don't think there is an HBO anymore. I think it's just a rebrand. So HBO is within Max. Within the Max family, although it's a Max original. I don't think, don't quote me on this. Yeah.

I don't think HBO is around. It's there on the platform, but I don't think it's an HBO show anymore. HBO ain't putting out any more shows. It's under Max, I think. I don't know. Interesting. Yeah, I think the name is just Max. It was HBO Go before that. It was HBO Max. Now it's just Max. Discovery bought them. Discovery owns them, and that's why it changed to Max. Now you can get Discovery shows on Max also. Ah.

I was wondering why they did that. And then HBO may likely come back as like, okay, it's still a great property for high-end movies. Or Game of Thrones comes out or something like that. They're still doing original productions. They're just rebranding the house. Who's that? That's God. He's invited. You'll see him at dinner later. Do you have any questions that you want to ask him? No, I'm good. I'm good. Jeez. Okay, listen, Sebastian, thank you so much for coming. Thanks for having me.

- Unbelievable what you've accomplished, man. Looking forward to more accomplishments for you. - I appreciate it. - You're the man, bro. Thank you so much.