AEE 2317: How to Acknowledge Wins in Life
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This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 2317, How to Acknowledge Wins in Life.

Welcome to the All Ears English podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection. With your American hosts, Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer, and Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl, coming to you from Colorado.

and New York City, USA. To get real-time transcripts right on your phone and create your personalized vocabulary list, try the All Ears English app for iOS and Android. Start your seven-day free trial at allearsenglish.com forward slash app.

In life, sometimes we don't always succeed on the first try. It could take three tries or more. Today, find out how to encourage someone and celebrate their success for more connection in English.

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when you visit buyatoyota.com. That's B-U-Y-A-T-O-Y-O-T-A.com. Toyota, let's go places. Hey, Michelle, how's it going today? Good. How are you? Very good. Very good. So Michelle, does it ever take you just a few tries to actually get something right? Of course. I don't, I don't

don't get things right on the first time. No. Every time, you know, sometimes, of course, but there are those moments when you're trying and you're trying and something's not working, right? It's true. It's true. Things take practice. You know, the timing has to be right.

Yeah, so most things don't just happen right away. It takes a few tries, right? And we're going to share a very special phrase that is native and natural, and our listeners can use it right away. But first, before we share that phrase, Michelle, what should our listeners do right now? Guys, we want to remind you, if you haven't already, wherever you're listening to All Ears English, please hit the follow button so that you never miss anything from us. Yeah.

Yes, I love it. All right. So Michelle, what is that phrase then that we can use to say sometimes it takes three tries? Yeah, it's third times a charm. Yes. This is a good one. You'll hear it all the time. Do you use this, Lindsay? Yeah, I do use this sometimes. I do. Absolutely. What does it mean? It means that, you know, you obviously use it when someone has,

You know, when I guess you can use it in two scenarios when someone has tried something twice and they're going for their third try and you're trying to encourage them and you say, Hey, you know, could happen this time. Actually, you know what? I'm going to edit that. I think it's more after when you see that it's happened on the third try.

Right. Right. That's how I think of it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I could be it could be before just to encourage someone. But yeah, I think it's more, oh, you got something right on the third try. And, you know, afterwards, you would say it. That's how I feel like I hear it or I'm more likely to use it.

Exactly. 100%. It's more like, you know, they've succeeded. That's the safest way to use this. And I don't maybe I've been saying this wrong. I usually say third times the charm, third times the charm.

So I've been, I just checked it out again because I started thinking, no. So I, yeah. Um, it can be said multiple ways. So it looks like some people say third times a charm. Sometimes people might say third times the charm. Um, I mean, I see there's a, yeah, people ask about which one to say, but I see, I see both so frequently that I'm going to say, don't worry about it. Um, but, but I,

I also sometimes hear three times a charm. Do you ever hear that? That one I haven't heard, but it makes sense. So there's a few variations on this. Clearly, maybe it depends on your region, your what your family says, your personality. Right. Yeah. And again, maybe there is a specific answer, but I found evidence of all of these. So.

Yeah. And our take on language is human connection. And if people are using all of these, it means that is the language. In many cases, we're not super strict to say that everything has one exact right way to say it. Right. Of course, grammar is grammar and we understand that. But when it comes to phrases, people adapt these for themselves. So who is to say that this person is wrong and that person is right with this phrase? Right. If we're finding it on the Internet, it exists.

So that's a good way to think about it, I think. Right. I think three times a charm might be less common. Maybe that's something that I just hear. But I would say I hear the one that I'm more likely to say is third times a charm. You say the charm. Yeah. So maybe maybe in this episode, I'll say third times the charm and you say third times a charm and it will it'll be fine. It will be just fine. Exactly. So. All right. Exactly.

So let's get back to what it means. So for me, this expression shows some humor and vulnerability because you're saying, oh, I couldn't get this. Ah, now I got it. So let's do a couple examples. So the first one is, ah, I can't get this lock open again. Okay, I'll try once more. Got it.

Got it. Third time's a charm. Or here's another one. I passed my exam finally. Third time's the charm. Right? So here, yeah, I agree with you, Michelle. Humor, self-deprecation, vulnerability, because I had to take my exam three times. I'm kind of...

poking fun at that a little bit when I say third time's the charm. I've seen this when I was 16 with driver's tests, right? When people had to take their driving test over and over again. Things like that. Right. Yes, exactly. Also, I'm thinking of...

like the bar exam oh my gosh right it's much harder times people have to retake that yeah so i mean you can use it to talk about your own efforts or you can use it to talk about somebody else so let's do how it might look in a conversation okay here we go i was so exhausted the first two classes but by the third class i got into the groove nice third time's a charm

Good. Yeah. So you're responding and you're commenting here on this person's experience. And again, this is not about passing a test or not passing a test, but it's about settling into something also applicable. Right. Yes. And let's talk for a second about the tone of voice for it, because I think it's said in a very...

Lindsay, it's almost like a little song. Yeah. Third time's the charm, right? I'm going to add the third time's the charm, right? It'll sing songy, isn't it, Michelle? Yes, exactly. Exactly. So, and the other thing is this can be a motivating expression as well. So Lindsay, I am going to touch on what you brought up at the beginning because I think it is important to bring it up. So telling someone to keep going, keep trying. So, you know,

just if somebody is having a hard time with something, maybe they tried something twice, they might say, try it once more, you know, third time's a charm. Yeah. Yeah. What does that mean though? A charm or the charm? What is the charm? I mean, I don't know the etymology of the phrase. Um, we don't know what it goes. These phrases all go back to something somewhere. So we don't know. Uh, but a charm is usually signifies good luck, right? Or success. Yeah.

- Right, yeah, right, right. - Success. - It's almost like charming, I would say, you know, like it just, something's worked. It's saying something worked on the third time. - Exactly, exactly. And can we use this at work, Michelle, as well as in our personal lives? Would you use this?

in a work context, would you say? I think it's fine to do that. I would say just whenever you use it, make sure that it's encouraging or if you're comfortable with close colleagues, you could use it in a self-deprecating way, but I wouldn't necessarily say it to your boss. What do you think? Yeah, because again, if there's a little bit of self-deprecation here in some cases or

Just look out for the context. Just look out for the context. It could totally be applicable to the work world. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. The national sales event is on at your Toyota dealer, making now the perfect time to get a great deal on a dependable new car, like a legendary Camry built for performance and available with all wheel drive. You can count on your new Camry to get anywhere you need to go.

And with available features like heated seats and a multimedia touchscreen, you can stay connected in comfort and style. Or check out an affordable and reliable Corolla with a trim for every lifestyle. From the hip and agile sedan to the sporty hatchback, there's a dependable Corolla built just for you.

Plus, both Camrys and Corollas are available in hybrid models. So no matter your style, you can drive efficiently and affordably. So visit your local Toyota dealer and check out amazing national sales event deals on Camrys, Corollas, and more when you visit buyatoyota.com. Toyota, let's go places.

All right, Rochelle. So other ways to say this, we don't always have to just say, you know, third time's the charm. We could say other things that are a little more straightforward and simple, right? So we are going to really hear talk about the context of encouraging someone. Okay. Because I think that's important. I think that's good for connection. So we're going to focus on that for this part of the episode. So one thing you say is keep going. So don't give up. Yes, I like that.

Keep going. Yeah. Yeah. Don't give up. Keep going. Very straightforward, but also very kind way.

of supporting someone and letting them know that you're on their side and you want them to keep pursuing their goal, right? The next one, you'll get the next one, right? Keep trying. You'll get the next one. You'll get the next one. Okay. And the next one, or then switching back a little bit. I finally got it. If you're talking about something that you've been trying for. So you can say, ah, I finally got it. Yeah. These are all really accessible for our listeners. And I think you're right, Michelle. I think encouraging something is huge.

Right. Encouraging someone, sorry, to keep going for something. I mean, it's such a part of our narrative in American culture to keep going for something, achieving something, setting a goal and going after it. Any thoughts on that when it comes to connection, Michelle?

Yeah, absolutely. If you're able to express that, especially towards somebody else, that's going to be huge for your connection. So just this idea of don't give up and, you know, you can still get it. You can still make it happen. Just try one more time, right? I think that is hugely ingrained in our culture. And so I think if you're able to express that,

feeling showing someone that you believe in them that's really important yeah that's important let's show it all in a little role play conversation here so do it yeah so here we're at a carnival playing a game oh so maybe the the basketball game for example yeah yeah all right here you are whack-a-mole maybe all right here we go okay so you just throw the ball in the basket okay ah missed keep going keep going oh no again you'll get the next one

- Oh, okay, one more time. - There you go, third time's a charm. - I finally got it. - Yeah, that game where you just throw basketball after basketball constantly, right? Yeah, that's what we're doing. - Yes. - Okay, yeah, fun. All right, Michelle, so here, yeah, I was standing next to you watching you throw these basketballs and just encouraging you, telling you to keep going, right? - Yes, yes, so first I missed and you said, "Keep going," and then I missed again and you said, "You'll get the next one."

And then I said, okay, one more time. And then he said, I finally got it. Are you good at that game, Michelle? Would you say? No, of course not. Are you? I don't know. Maybe you have like a good shot when it comes to basketball. Who knows? Who knows? Yeah. We know sometimes you surprises Michelle on the show. Hidden talents, right? No, no, no, no, no. Hand eye coordination is not one of them. Um, but yeah, you said, and you said third time's a charm. So, um,

Yeah, this is just really good. You were encouraging me and you used this expression when I did achieve the goal, I got a basket. So it felt very good, very interactive, also very quick. We could move back and forth quickly with this. Yes, exactly. Perfect. So Michelle, was there another episode that our listeners should check out before we finish up? Yes, we had a lot of fun with this one. This was All Ears English, just crickets, what to say when no one responds. Yeah.

That was a really fun episode. Yeah. Yeah. Really captures a human, a very human feeling that we all experience at some point in our lives. So check it out. Check out that episode, guys, and hit follow while you're at it. Hit that follow button to make sure that All Ears English just drops right into your listening queue five days a week. What's the takeaway today, Michelle?

guys use these to encourage people or to show a little bit of vulnerability, uh, when talking about yourself and just being real with people, that's, what's going to, that's, what's going to get that connection flowing. You can even use this to yourself. I mean, if you're trying to open your key, um,

Or where I am right now, you know, there's just a code to press. And every once in a while, you know, you press. Oh, or what about Lindsay when you're at a hotel and they have the key card and you put it in and it comes up red and then you put it in again and then you have that moment where you think, oh, and then you get it on the third time. He's up third times a charm. So it's just this is a very common expression. So, yeah, it'll come up. You'll hear it. And it's just kind of a fun thing to say.

It's true. There are a lot of these little moments. And this is what I love when we bring it back to connection. Every single one of our listeners is going to be able to relate to these moments. Moments when you try to put the key card in, doesn't work, doesn't work, doesn't work. So we can go through life just cursing those moments, right? And being upset and frustrated or bitter. Or we can say something like, yep,

Third time's a charm. And then just have a little humor with our day. And my guess is at the end of the day, you'll be happier if you err on the side of say something positive. Okay. So we'll leave it at that, Michelle. All right. Well, all right. I'll see you soon. You have a good day. All right. Bye, Lindsay. Okay. Take care. Bye.

Thanks for listening to All Ears English. Would you like to know your English level? Take our two-minute quiz. Go to allearsenglish.com forward slash fluency score. And if you believe in connection, not perfection, then hit subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time.

The national sales event is on at your Toyota dealer, making now the perfect time to get a great deal on a dependable new car, like a legendary Camry built for performance and available with all wheel drive. You can count on your new Camry to get anywhere you need to go.

And with available features like heated seats and a multimedia touchscreen, you can stay connected in comfort and style. Or check out an affordable and reliable Corolla with a trim for every lifestyle. From the hip and agile sedan to the sporty hatchback, there's a dependable Corolla built just for you.

Plus, both Camrys and Corollas are available in hybrid models. So no matter your style, you can drive efficiently and affordably. So visit your local Toyota dealer and check out amazing national sales event deals on Camrys, Corollas, and more when you visit buyatoyota.com. Toyota, let's go places.