Deep Dive
Why is John's girlfriend, Carolyn, feeling hurt by her son and daughter-in-law?
Carolyn feels hurt because her son and daughter-in-law seem to prioritize her ex-husband's side of the family, often spending holidays with them and not visiting her. Recently, they informed her about the birth of their second child late in the day, after contacting others earlier, which made her feel excluded and less important.
What advice does Dr. Laura give to John regarding Carolyn's situation?
Dr. Laura advises that Carolyn's son and daughter-in-law likely feel more comfortable with her ex-husband's side of the family, a dynamic that predates John and Carolyn's relationship. She emphasizes that confrontation or anger won't change their feelings, which have developed over decades, and suggests that Carolyn needs to address the underlying issues herself rather than relying on John to manage her emotions.
How long has John been with Carolyn, and what is their age difference?
John has been with Carolyn for 24 years. He is 56 years old, and Carolyn is 62 years old.
What does Dr. Laura suggest about Carolyn's approach to dealing with her feelings?
Dr. Laura suggests that Carolyn lacks the courage to confront the issue herself, as she didn't make the call to seek advice. Instead, John is left to manage her emotions, which indicates a deeper problem where Carolyn avoids addressing the root cause of her hurt feelings.
What does Dr. Laura imply about the dynamics between Carolyn, her son, and her ex-husband?
Dr. Laura implies that the dynamics between Carolyn, her son, and her ex-husband have been shaped over decades, with her son feeling more comfortable and connected to his father's side of the family. This preference likely stems from unresolved issues or patterns established long before John entered the picture.
Shownotes Transcript
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Hear the winner's stories now by visiting BeThereWithCare.com. Contest ended November 15th. Official rules at BeThereWithCare.com. Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. John, welcome to the program. Hello, how are you? Good. What can I help you with, John?
So I'm calling more so for my partner, Carolyn. It's kind of an ongoing issue, but something that just recently happened. Her son's wife had a second baby boy a couple of days ago.
And she has always seemed to have a good relationship with her son. Nothing really major ever happened. So it just seems like over the last 10 years or so since he's been married, he spends holidays with the father side of the family. And we're kind of always last and they don't come by, things like that. So what recently happened is
Her, excuse me, son's wife had a baby on Saturday and they seem to call everybody else and then called her at the end of the day, which I said, you know, you had the baby at two 30 in the morning. Guess what? Maybe she was sleeping. Um, but the strange thing is when they contacted her sons, you know, her ex-husband, they call them like 10 o'clock in the morning, um,
My son, her son's wife had text her at 11 o'clock in the morning saying, hey, did you go apple picking? And never said, oh, by the way, I had a baby. So she kind of blew that off.
Then we talked to him, FaceTimed him at the end of the day at 4 o'clock on Saturday. You do understand that since I don't know her son and the wife, nor the history of the marriage and the divorce, and how the son and the daughter-in-law relate to you folks and them, that I'm not going to be able to help with this because I don't know the real issue. If people are not prioritizing mom and you...
and they're prioritizing other people, it's because they're more comfortable and closer to the other people. There's nothing we can do about that. We can't have a fight or an argument or tell somebody that's wrong. They, for whatever reason, perhaps you don't even know, they feel more comfortable with dad in that part of the family. And that predated you. That predated you.
Well, I've been with her 24 years, so, you know, we're so much. She was divorced 25 years ago. How old are all of you? I'm 56. She's 62. When I moved in with her, her son was nine. Okay. Well, whatever transpired in those years made the two of them more comfortable with dad. I have no idea why. I can only tell you that's the likely issue. So I can't offer you anything.
Yeah, okay. And nobody else can either unless we know over 25 years how everything has evolved. And a lot of times people let things grow and don't deal with them. And that could be them, your lady friend, both. I have no idea. But the answer is they'd rather be connected to dad than
For some reason, right. Yeah, I mean, we just deal with things different. I usually confront people and she doesn't. So it's just tough for me to fear. Confrontation would be more destructive. You can't be angry and tell people they're doing something wrong when they're more comfortable with one person over another. That doesn't make them feel warmer about you. You can't argue somebody out of their, sir, you can't argue somebody out of their feelings that have developed over decades.
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Millions of unpaid family caregivers look after their loved ones, a true labor of love. This season, Halion, maker of brands like Advil and Centrum, has supported three caregivers with $10,000 from renovating their homes to make their loved ones comfortable to taking on extra shifts at work so their family can rest easy. Each individual goes above and beyond in the way they care.
Hear the winner's stories now by visiting BeThereWithCare.com. Contest ended November 15th. Official rules at BeThereWithCare.com.
Which is why, you know, Carolyn was like, oh, I'm listening to this lady on the radio. And, you know, then I was like, yeah, maybe I should call her and see if because, you know, Sunday they said the name. And sir, do you realize this is not your problem other than trying to mop up after her moods and feelings? She didn't have the courage and the intent to learn something new herself. She didn't make the call. You did.
So you're constantly mopping up after her emotions. And therefore, I think she's not going to be very forthcoming in what truly transpired, which leaves you a little helpless other than a lot of hugs. So I appreciate that you called. And I think it's really indicative of the bigger problem that she didn't. If she talked about that I'm on the radio, then she probably knows.
She'd have to deal with what happened and she'd be in the, I don't know, nothing. And then nothing changes. But people tend to go where they're comfortable. Pets do that too. I once bought a little doggie for somebody. I wanted a little doggie and the dog wasn't interested in that person and just kept looking up at me. I love you. Take me home. My number, 1-800-375-2800.
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