Rob Delaney
50:06 Share

To make switching to the new Boost Mobile risk-free, we're offering a 30-day money-back guarantee. So, why wouldn't you switch from Verizon or T-Mobile? Because you have nothing to lose. Boost Mobile is offering a 30-day money-back guarantee. No, I asked why wouldn't you switch from Verizon or T-Mobile. Oh. Wouldn't. Uh, because you love wasting money as a way to punish yourself because your mother never showed you enough love as a child? Whoa, easy there. Yeah.

You know, as a busy mom, there are lots of ways you can help yourself fall asleep. You could stare blankly at the ceiling and replay every conversation you've ever had, count sheep, have a debate with your pillow, give up caffeine, try acupuncture, and buy a weighted blanket that will make you sweat profusely. Or you could try some milk, which has nutrients that support healthy sleep.

Visit gonnaneedmilk.com for more info. And for everyone's sake, please don't give up caffeine. Hello and welcome to Table Manners. I'm Jessie Ware. And I'm here with Lenny. And we're in New Cross. Yes, darling. I've had two 40th's within the space of two, no, three days. I'm a bit tired. Oh, then we had a birthday party. Has anyone ever been to the O2 party?

Extreme trampolining. No, I haven't. Avoid it at all costs unless you need to go. It was fabulous for an eight-year-old birthday party. And do not believe the parking guy that I spoke to who told me it was only a three-minute walk from the car park. At least ten minutes to get across the courtyard at my pace. You hobbling along with your horse chocolate cake. My chocolate cake with horses on.

I'm on cooking duty today. I did share that recipe with you and I kind of regret it. I was about to acknowledge that. I kind of regret it because it's a good recipe. Why? Because I could have used it for someone. You...

showed me the Nigel Slater chicken and peach salad. It's meant to be on a really hot summer's day. It is not a hot summer's day. It's quite miserable. However, I do have the most delicious Natura peaches that I bought. We'll cheer everyone up and rhyme. Maybe, unless he's one of those people that doesn't like fruit with savoury. Well, we'll find out. And then I've done Nigella's chocolate olive oil mousse.

And have you used the special olive oil? I used the special olive oil. Rosie and James' olive oil. From Skopelos that we brought back that he, I don't know, strained with his dear hands. No, he didn't. He picked the olives from his land. Yeah. And they took it up to the olivio where they press the olives and then you bring it home. And this year... That sounds so fun. He's got... It's such fun. November is going to be a bumper season because he's got 100 olive trees at his new place. It's so fun.

It's really nice olive oil. So he's going to have over 100 litres of olive oil. Well, I'm very thrilled to have it in the Nigella Lawson chocolate olive oil mousse. We have a comedian, writer, activist, Anglophile, American coming over. Very handsome. Very handsome. But very talented. Yeah, I wonder if he's got a moustache. I saw him...

I don't know if it's going to sound creepy. When I was filming that Mamma Mia show, I think we flew back from Corfu at the same time. And he was very, very dashing. We've got Rob Delaney coming over. Now, Rob is an American who lives in London, who created and starred in Catastrophe, which we all loved with Sharon Horgan. He,

He's been in Deadpool. He's coming on to talk about his new Apple TV show that he stars in called Bad Monkey. Which I've been watching. And I've watched one episode. It's one of our favourite writers that we used to always read in the summer. Carl Hyasson. It's set in Florida. He'll be telling you more. It's dark comedy. But also it's set in the Bahamas in the Florida Keys and it just makes me want to go there straight away. I've just put The Chicken in. It's going to be one of those things where I will be in the background crying

making a dressing and assembling so you may have to take over for a bit Lenny oh okay are you willing I'll just look at him darling Rob Delaney coming up on Table Manners welcome Rob thank you to Jessie's home mum's doing her she's doing the voice where I know she's trying to impress you I am she's working she's working she's doing radio 4 voice oh I love it okay shut up you really are first of all

Watched about five episodes of bad monkey. How many episodes are there ten? Oh crikey Because I wondered where you were at the beginning and now you're coming into your own. Yeah stash and all the stash and all We filmed in Miami and the keys and

So any Bahamas that you see is, you know, somewhere in Florida. It's not Andros in Bahamas. I'm pretty sure. I'm sure there's some like aerial shots and stuff that are legitimately there. But actors, you know what? I could be wrong. They might have gone to Andros. I didn't. I filmed strictly in Miami and primarily Marathon in the Keys. That's crazy.

Isn't it? God, I couldn't actually go on holiday and move there. It's absolutely beautiful. Did you think about a family holiday after filming Carl Hyasson? Right, so I brought my then three or four-year-old. Three. He was three. So he was with me for a little bit, and that was quite fun because if ever we had a day off, you know, we would go to the Everglades. Did you see any crocodiles?

We didn't see any crocodiles, but we saw, I'm sure, over 400 alligators. Oh, okay, sorry. But there are crocodiles there. They're both there. Miami's the only place in the world where they both live. So there's lots of ways to get eaten. Am I being stupid? But why are there alligators, everglades, but not crocodiles? It's alligators that are in the Everglades. And then in Miami, there are some saltwater crocodiles there.

Why is that? I don't know. And I believe it's the only place in the world where they both live. But you'd have to talk to them about why they've chosen to... Did your son meet the monkey? I don't think he did. He met a lot of key deer, though. The little tiny deer that run around. Oh, the deer that run around. So that was fun. Vince fought...

Is he as fun as he seems? He really genuinely is. Yeah, he's exactly like he is in movies and TV and stuff, whereas I'm not. People are like, do you ever turn it off? I'm like, I turn it off all the time. Whereas Vince Vaughn, if you were at a restaurant with him, he would introduce himself to the people

at the next tables and stuff. When he talks to you, he asks you a thousand questions. He would know stuff about you that you had forgotten. And so he's a pretty fascinating guy. Mum used to always bring a Carl Hyacinth. Is that how you say it? Yeah. I don't know. We'd always have one in the summer that we'd go through as a family. Did you read any Carl before? I'm ashamed to admit, but I want to pursue the policy of truth here. I've only read Bad Monkey.

I must read more. How silly of me. But they're usually set in Miami. Yeah, it's usually... It's not the same shit that happens, but it's usually...

very funny in Florida and dark comedy and someone's going to lose something. They're great. They are great. It kind of feels like, I don't know whether they've made any more telly of Carl Hyasson books, but like, it feels like a no brainer that now you'd be able to like, just keep going. Like Agatha Christie, sure. Right. I think maybe now that they've cracked it because yeah, you know, Bill Lawrence,

such a good job because he wasn't just like, let me take this IP and turn it into something like he's from Florida too. He loves Carl Hiaasen and he, for him, it was a real labor of love to turn a great book into a great TV show. So he worked very hard on it for a long time.

Where do you live now? You live in London. I do. Yeah, I live in London. Yeah, I've been here 10 years. I'm literally British now. Are you here because of the food? Absolutely not. No. Although I like the food. It's not bad. Oh, no, no. There's great food. Where are you from? I grew up in Boston.

It's good food. It's fine. It's fine, you know. Good chowder. Yeah. But yeah, I moved here 10 years ago for the show Catastrophe. Which we love. Thank you. We love, yeah. I actually went up to Sian Horgan once at an awards thing and I said, I just want to... I don't know why this came out, but you know when you're like...

You shoot your shot. It's like you've seen her. And I don't know why. I think I was nervous. I hate award shows anyway. I just want to thank you for making me feel like it's okay to not have sex with my husband. And she went, okay, cool. Nice to meet you. You know, that's the shit that came out.

Why did that come out? I think they were having a hard time in the show at that time. That's so funny. I feel like everyone's had those catastrophe moments when they've had children. That episode where she's trying to make friends with somebody and being really keen and it's so cringe and I've been that person in like a baby music class. That is brilliant. It's amazing.

How did you and Sharon meet each other? We met on Twitter.com years ago. So I had seen her show Pulling, which I was crazy about. So I noticed that she followed me on Twitter and I was like, I love your show. You slid in. Yeah, and she had seen some of my stand-up. So we became friends and when either of us were in London or LA respectively, we would visit each other.

And became friendly. And then we thought, hey, why don't we ride a pilot together? And the rest is history. And the rest now is history, since it was, yeah, 10 years ago, almost. Can I ask, in Boston, who was around the dinner table when you were growing up? And what was a memorable dish from your childhood? My dad made a great meatloaf. My mom, but I don't know why that came to mind first. I think it was he chopped up apples and put it in it, so it stayed nice and moist. Oh, nice.

My mom was a very good, like her plates definitely always ticked all the food pyramid boxes. You know what I mean? There'd be like a nice piece of fish, some nice vegetables, some nice rice pilaf. So nobody in my house was like a passionate cook, but they definitely dependably, nutritiously fed you. Did they work? Yeah, yeah, they both worked. They were insurance agents.

They owned a small insurance agency together. They got divorced when I was 14. So, you know, the bulk of my childhood, they were together and we were eating dinner together every night. And then I guess once I got to high school, then it was a little different. But, you know, still tasty dishes and, you know, and family mealtime. Thank goodness has passed.

remained a priority for my wife and I we make sure to always eat dinner with the kids and one wonderful thing about us is we don't if like the kids are like we don't like this we're like all right starve we don't make them other stuff you know like oh see me gets his chicken binkies you know like we don't do that we're like oh go to bed hungry we don't care yeah which is but it's that's love but you don't do you don't do the banana late or the bowl of cereal later like

Come on. Yeah, of course. Do the banana. Yeah. I think you're really mean. It's nutritious. I am mean, yeah. I think that's mean. Yeah, well, because I love them. Well, you're a fool, Mum, because you literally were like Mrs. Wobble the waitress and doing, what do you want? This is like, yeah. I'll do anything. Well, also, Jessie, is she nicer to your kids than she was to you? You know what I mean? Because like, no? I was a soft touch with you as well. I mean, there was a lot of shouting there, Rob. If we're going to talk about it, there was a lot of shouting. Yeah. You think that's traumatized you? Yeah, I do.

Because I know like my mom, you know, when I was, if I was like, I didn't eat enough. Can I actually be like, oh, too bad. But with my kids, she's like, yeah, sure. Have a Sikers bar. Do you want me to spoon feed you? Or come upstairs. I've got Percy pigs in the bedroom. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like mom's got a stack.

Oh, you can't go to bed without a full swollen belly. You know, you can't go to bed not sweating because you've eaten too much. Yeah. Yeah. You completely. And you always undermine me as well. If we're going to talk about this now, like you undermine me. No, but you go, Oh God, she's such a good girl. Girl, just let her have a cake.

Of course. Yeah, a knife. Why not? She's perfect. I can't wait to have grandkids. I swear to God. Like if one of my kids, I mean, obviously, if you're listening, kids, don't do this. But if one of my kids is like, I got my girlfriend pregnant. And then we'd have to like fake being upset. We'd be like, oh, oh, gosh. But totally we'd be like, give me the baby. Give me it. Oh, my goodness. You're ready for it. Oh, my God. I love, I just love babies.

Yeah. Yeah. Do you think you'll be lenient when... With grandkids? Yeah. I'll try not to be. You know, I kind of like observe my parents and my wife's parents and like, okay, yeah, I'll do that when I'm a grandparent. Not going to do that. Yes, do this, do that. Okay, what are you going to do? One thing that you are going to do that you've observed and one thing that you're not going to do.

Well, get in there, get on those kids, get those kids on your lap, touch them, get in their faces, make eye contact. You know what I mean? Be super, don't be unignorable as their grandparent. Cause they love that. They love to have you get right in their face and play with you. And they know they can just tell that you're related to them and that you share blood and that, you know, just so definitely sit on them, make them sit on you, tickle them, that type of stuff.

I heard tickling's not really supposed to be a loud thing now. I don't care. And I tickle my... It's too fun. Yeah. I mean, we'll be tickling each other, I'm sure, by the end of this. Yeah, tickling's fine. I just... Yeah, stop me. Arrest me for tickling. This is going to sound a bit stalkery. Great. I think I saw you in a Corfu airport last year. Oh, wow. Would that have been right? Yeah, we did go to Corfu last year.

Funny thing about Corfu is many years ago, my wife and I went to Hawaii and I was, it was like heaven on earth. And I was like, this is just too nice. I can't handle it. It was Kauai, the like,

rainforest island. It was rainbows and beautiful sea turtles and waterfalls and I was like, it's too nice. I can't relax. Because you are like a Brit. Yeah, and then I went to Corfu and it was like, it's not as majestic as Hawaii and I was like, this is it. Perfect. Like, this is just...

because the rocks are old, the trees are kind of gnarly. People can be rude and say how they like them. Yeah, but every day I just have two gigantic salads with tomatoes and feta and everything and then swim in the ocean. There's no I like Reese.

Do you go every year to Greece or Corfu? Not every year, but Corfu. I mean, and then you think, it's less than three hours. Did you eat well in Miami? Because I hear the food scene's incredible there. Are you a foodie? Am I a foodie? I would say...

Probably no. Like, I don't do, like, destination food seek out things and stuff. But I love good food, but I also love garbage. Okay. So I eat it all. Like, I love fruits and vegetables. I love to eat healthy. And I also love to eat just scrape the bin. So...

Yeah. And also I did an interesting thing out of vanity about a year ago. I had, you know, my weight would bounce back and forth and I was always like, I should weigh less. I have weighed less. I could weigh less, you know, whatever. So,

So I stopped eating flour and sugar. Don't worry if there's flour and sugar today. I'll eat it all. But I did that, and that's been really interesting. And I also did a huge thing. I stopped eating second and third dinners because late-night eating, that was my enemy. You're incredibly tall, isn't it?

I am tall. There's a lot to fill. But I figured, you know, like I'm pushing 50. I like my children. I like my wife. I'd like to be around. Like maybe if I could dial down the guarantee of some sort of cardiac event, why not?

Anyway, so in Miami, though, we filmed this two years ago, so I was just eating constant incredible seafood. One time I went fishing in the Gulf of Mexico off of Marathon, and the guy who took me fishing was like, if you're not getting a bite like every 40 seconds, something's wrong. And it was true. Caught so much snapper. Wow. And then also key lime pie. Ooh.

It's all over the place. So I had key lime pie at every possible opportunity. It would be rude not to. Yeah, so that was great. But Bad Monkey, when I watched it, because he's a food inspector, it kind of put me off. I felt a bit sick. Yeah. Because he's inspecting some of the restaurants. Totally. And he's gone off food. So he stops eating for a while because everywhere he goes, he sees what's going on behind the scenes. Wouldn't that be a terrible job to have? Terrible.

It was awful. It was funny. But then he, when he was, some guy was eating the shrimp and he was saying that's probably rats have peed on that or something. You know what? I actually got poisoned by oysters last year.

And it was honestly, it was awful for a few days, but now there's a relief because now I don't have to eat oysters ever again. Because I'm never like craving oysters. It's always like a thing you do. Why did you eat them? The experience is fun for that reason. Because...

I don't not like them, but also I don't need them. But now I never ever have to even deal with them again because now I know that they can poison me. It was kind of fun, actually, because in addition to horrific nausea, there was also cramping from the poison. So I would like seize up. Cool.

Oh, my God. So that was neat. That sounds horrendous. Yeah. Did you end up in hospital? I didn't. I once ended up in hospital with food poisoning from a 30th birthday party, uncooked kidney beans and a big vat of chili. Unless you cook kidney beans really thoroughly, there's a poison in them. Very interesting. There were 20 people that were ill, including the man. But I ended up in hospital, and I'd only been married two months to your dad. Yeah.

I felt slightly embarrassed. I've never been sick in front of him before. And I had to stop the car and vomit. Oh, boy. Why would I have been sick? I don't know. This feels very on Chesil Beach, doesn't it? Yeah, it felt odd. You're just getting to know each other. You're about to shit in front of me. I mean, they had to inject me. I couldn't move. Well, here, I've got a better food-borne illness story. Okay. This one's great. I won't go into graphic detail. I'll let you use your imagination. But I got hepatitis A. Oh.

20 years, 19 years ago? No, 14 years ago. Well, this was the most amazing part is I got hepatitis and the way that my wife noticed something that was wrong, she's like, honey, your eyes are yellow and ooh, so is your skin. And I was like, well, that's strange color for me to be. And so went to the hospital. They were like- How long ago was this? This would be 14 years ago. Okay.

So you go to the doctor, right? When they find out you have hepatitis, they don't be like, well, here's what you do. The first thing they do is they call the government and we've got hepatitis. Oh, it's a public health woman. So yeah. So then noticed a few other people at my work had it. Still, they're trying to figure out what it was. And so they interview you, health and safety people, and they're really good at it. They're like FBI profilers. So if I asked you like, hey, what'd you have for breakfast last Tuesday? If you asked me, I'd be like,

I have no idea. They can put you in the mind space. Like they ask you different questions, similar ways. Many times they do face to face for a while. Then they call you on the phone and they just like get inside of you. By the end, you're like can rattle off what you ate and where and who you're with. Anyway, they'd narrowed it down. There was a cake shop, a really nice one in Santa Monica, California that had strawberries on this one cake and that water that they had been irrigated with had been contaminated. So a

A bunch of people got hepatitis. Yeah. That is shocking. I know. It was wild. And hepatitis is a fascinating illness because your liver kind of takes a break. So... So what did you have to do to treat it? Hang out. It just takes a while to go away. It's months, isn't it? It was about... I was sick for about three weeks. Three weeks? Yeah. But...

But hepatitis A you get rid of. B and C can kill you. A is sort of a Cadillac or Jaguar. Do you have to put that down if you've ever had it? No, because once it's gone. So I can give blood. And could you have given it to your family? Yes. My wife was pregnant with our first child at that time. So it was really scary.

So we were very worried. If you kissed her, she might have caught it. Well, we don't kiss. So we were safe with that. But no, she had to get a shot to give her immunity. And so a bunch of the loved ones of the people who got sick and some of us, I was not, but some people were hospitalized. Yeah, it was heavy duty. Would you ever live back in Los Angeles? No.

I don't know what would bring me there, you know? My kids are ultra plugged in here. Are they British children, really? Well, yeah. I mean, the older two have totally grown up here. The youngest one was born here. So they don't want to leave. And now they're old enough where we have to factor in how they feel and what they care about. So lately I've been lamenting that my career didn't take me to New York, which is halfway between North Carolina and Boston, where my wife and my family are.

But it didn't, so we're here, and I don't know what could take us away from here. What big movie rules? I do my best to do most of the stuff that I film here. Anything I write is all...

is always like exterior, North London, very close to my house. You know what I mean? So I do that. I say no to stuff that shoots far away sometimes. I didn't to Bad Monkey, but I really try to stick around. And that's not impossible because a lot of great stuff shoots here. I mean, I just did Deadpool and Wolverine. That filmed here, you know, and more and more big stuff is filming here, which is so awesome. So you love London, right?

Mostly. Or not. Mostly. Tell me what you love about it. People. We've made wonderful friends. I love the NHS. Even in its underfunded state, it is better to fall down and break your leg here than it is in America because...

All you have to worry about is whatever injury or illness you have. Not, you know, am I going to be able to afford it? Am I going to go broke, you know, trying to pay for it? And because even if you have private health insurance in America, it doesn't cover it all. So people go into medical debt, people commit suicide from medical debt in America. So that's,

So the NHS, even as it is now, is amazing, especially having a family, you know, and boys. I mean, we're at the A&E all the time. How many broken limbs have you had? Broken?

Broken limbs. Like with boys. I'm just preparing for this. Yeah, I mean, cuts, burns, breaks, but not too many big bad ones yet. So there's that. And then there's no guns here. That's incredible. C plus, yeah. Because there sure are guns in America.

And so those are two things. Like, we've had occasion in my family to lean on the NHS quite a bit, and it's been wonderful for us. And then also, there was a shooting near where my son was in nursery when we lived in California. So that's not just stuff that's on TV. Like, a couple people were killed about 50 feet from where he was in a cot. So that's terrible.

There's plenty that's terrible about the UK, to be sure, but those are two big ones that mean a lot. Yeah, I think the NHS can be wonderful for all the things you say. And I know that they treated your son and it was...

You felt that they did their very best. They were incredible. They were incredible. Was that Great Ormond Street? Yeah, it was. My son, Henry, if anybody is watching this who doesn't know, I have a son who died of a brain tumor when he was two. That was in 2018.

And he lived for seven months at Great Ormond Street Hospital and then for seven months at the Whittington Hospital in North London. And both of those places just were just magnificent. And yeah, the care that we received there, the nurses and the doctors and everything was just incredible. So...

Yeah, very dear to my heart, the NHS. Also coming here well into adulthood after decades of having American health care and then being like, what? It can be like this? Sadly, most people don't know how good they've got it here because it's easy to complain. You're not going to the doctor to kill time or for fun. You're going because you're on my pancreas or whatever.

But it's amazing. Rob, can I ask you, you say that, you know, what your kids get is what they get. Yeah. Are you and your wife good cooks? My wife is a very good cook. No, I'm not a very good cook. I'm a serviceable cook. Like you would sit down and be like, I recognize what this is. See what he was going for. It's not disgusting. I have eaten the meal. You'd finish it and be like, I did. In fact, I did just eat is what you would say. Do you ever cook? Yes. Yeah, totally. What's your strong point?

You know what I have loved doing lately is making chicken noodle soup from scratch. That's really fun. And it's surprisingly easy. Chicken noodle soup? Chicken noodle soup. From scratch. So my kids like what I cook because I cook simple stuff like that. Or like chili. You know what I mean? You can make chili? Yeah, in fact, I usually make vegetarian chili. Sometimes I'll make it with meat. What do you use? Corn or do you use that? I'll use corn sometimes. Or that, what is it? Vivera or something. Oh.

If I make vegetarian chili, I don't typically put a fake meat in it. I'll have beans in it for protein. But yeah, I make basics. Children think my cooking is quite good. Adults are like, it's fine. Like an adult would be like, eh, you know. I bet it would be very endearing on an early date, like early in a relationship. You'd be like, oh my God, he tried. He tried. Okay. So tell me when I'm now ready.

Thank God for that. Sorry. You know, it's like a bit faffy because it's Nigel Slater, so... Uh-huh.

- Oh my God, that's gorgeous. - Okay, I haven't done this recipe before, but I believe in Nigel Slater. And it smells kind of good. It's like chicken and peach salad with mint and basil and a kind of warm dressing. Please help yourself, Rob. - May I take a picture of it? - Oh, you're a person that takes photos of food. - Not typically, but I want to show this to my wife. I want to even try to do a bad job of it at my own house. - It's on the Guardian.

I'll send it to you. Okay, thank you. But yeah, dig in. Oh, Lord, look at that. Oh, Lord, look at that.

We are thrilled to announce that we are doing a very special live recording of Table Manners for Choose Love, the charity. It's going to be at the Union Chapel in Islington on December 2nd. We've got such special guests. I wish we could tell you who they are, but you're going to be so excited. What a way to kick off the festive period by giving some money to a wonderful charity, but also joining Lenny and I and some fabulous guests for a special recording.

for a big old hoo-ha at Union Chapel in London. Get your tickets. They're on sale now. Go to the Choose Love Instagram or to Table Manners Instagram. The link is in our bio.

You know, as a busy mom, there are a few ways you can build strong muscles. You could get a gym membership, which you'll never use, buy all sorts of expensive equipment for your garage that you'll forget you have, pay for a personal trainer that you'll never have time to meet with, and buy a fitness watch that only makes you sad every time you look at it.

Or you could go for an easy run and try some milk, which helps build strong muscles. Visit goingto need milk.com for more info. And please don't make yourself sad. Deep in the ocean, an orca pod is on the hunt, but these aren't your average orcas. These guys are organized.

♪♪♪

What does your wife cook that's your favorite thing that she cooks? Oh, that's a good question. She makes incredible salads, and that's really a skill, you know. So you're a salad person? I love salad. God, we did all right then. Fine, great, perfect.

It did do well darling. So good. Is that chilli? Yeah, thank you. But it's very mild chilli. Please have more. And then I've got a pud. I know that you are sugar free. It's less sugar. It's a chocolate mousse and you don't have to have... Okay, fine. Okay, great. Okay, good. Thank you. No, so...

Do you want to hear the story about why I changed the way that I eat? Yes. So there was a big strike between SAG and the Writers Guild, which shut down Deadpool and Wolverine, and everything being made in the world. When we returned...

They could legally edit what they had shot. So we had the rare opportunity to have about an hour of a big Hollywood film totally done. And then they could kind of adapt and take it in and make changes if they wanted to. So they had a rare and really special opportunity to do that. Anyway, so I saw a shirtless scene of mine.

Oh God. And was it gorgeous?

I weighed quite a bit more at the time. So I'm not going to say it wasn't gorgeous. That may be, you know, your thing. But for me, I was like, that is, he's a larger fellow than I would like to personally be. So I was like, okay, but there's still about six months until the movie comes out.

I can lose weight in that time, theoretically. God knows how it'll be done. And then when the movie comes out, I can be like, yeah, it was an acting choice. I just thought he should be my dedication to my craft. And so here's what I did. I knew I would never count calories. I was never going to

Send away and have my meals come to the house in a packet I was never not gonna sit down with my family So I was like, you know, hey, I've heard that if you cut out flour and sugar that that can lead to losing weight So I did that

I cut out flour and sugar. It wasn't easy, but it wasn't impossible. The very difficult thing that I did was stopping eating after dinner. Because like, you know, you have dinner. Great. But what do you do when 9.30 rolls around? You have to have, at that point, a couple bowls of children's cereal. And then at 11.15, you want to tuck yourself in with about three quarters of a thing of Ben and Jerry's, right? How are you going to sleep? What flavor was your past? I hate to say it because I don't like their, like, the way they corporate breakfasts.

brand with stuff but the flavor netflix and chilled oh it's so good it's it's so good there's a lot of peanut butter in it it's just pornographic yeah and um so that was hard at first but taking away flour and sugar and second and third dinners no bread so like no version of bread like would you have like did you find like a seedy something no substitute

I could, but it is easier. And I'm not, like, for example, this amazing, nutritious, rich, the number of things that are on this plate is high. Colorful, beautiful, flavorful. Like, this totally meets my thing, you know? Okay. But anyway, doing all that made losing weight kind of easy. You know what? Fuck you, though, Rob, because, like, I swear, it's fucking, you go...

I think I'm going to lose weight. I'm not saying sugar and flour. I swear if I took out sugar and flour, I'd be like, I'd just get bigger. I'd be like, why? Oh, well, it's because... It's so annoying. Men just can lose weight. Yeah, I know. It's true. Okay. But I'm thrilled for you. First of all, I accept that and take it in. Yes. Fuck me. Of course. I agree completely. Here's the thing. What it took...

Because there's no sure thing in this world, but Deadpool 3 is kind of a sure thing. And I knew that Marvel's marketing, Ryan Reynolds' marketing, people weren't going to have a choice as to whether they saw it or not. So the idea...

that a beautiful woman in Mongolia or Saskatchewan was going to see this movie, which they are and did, and then it would cut from Hugh Jackman being like, and then cut to me and have an awful audience be like, ha ha ha!

knowing that that was going to happen around the world is what it took. Because for me, I used to be like, the only thing that could make me lose weight would be a man with a bloody hammer standing next to me going, if you eat that, this hammer will get bloodier with your blood.

So it was essentially you being in competition with Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman. And that's what I need to find. I need to find my version of Hugh Jackman and Ryan. It took a negative thing. Now, all of this is stupid and vanity until...

After having lost a bunch of weight and not having flour and sugar regularly coursing through my veins, a crazy thing happened, which is my immune system got like turbocharged. So a side effect to my vanity was that I get sick so much less, so much milder.

And that's like weird. It's like spooky how different it is. So apparently, Flam or Sugar, you don't need to be shoveling them into your body like I had been. Did your wife do it as well? No, my wife. You know how you said fuck you to me? My wife is a triathlete. My wife... We did a duathlon a week and a half ago, which is a bunch of swimming and running. She beat me by...

By 12 minutes, I think. Right? And like, running for 12 minutes, you've ran pretty far, right? That's how much she beat me in the thing. We did a half marathon once. She beat me by over half an hour. She just...

naturally prefers to eat healthy things. She's not even in the business. She's just, it just makes me happy to just do this stuff. And yeah, she's quite something. I hear that you, maybe that what helps with your immune system as well, you're a cold water swimmer I hear. There's a gang of you that go to a pond. Why do you do this? So I started swimming in the summer.

If you'd said, one day you'll swim in the cold water, I'd be like, you're mistaken. Cold water is cold. But found this beautiful body of water, started swimming in the warmer weather, and then as the temperature went down, it just kept going. And so that made it easier. And frankly, the group of people that I swim with is just magnificent. I mean, some truly wonderful people. So there's a social aspect where I've met some great people. How much can you talk when your teeth are chattering?

It has to be pretty horrifically cold to not really be able to talk because often we'll talk to just distract ourselves, you know? But the fact is, is now swimming in the cold water gives you a buzz. And like I'm sober. I've been sober for 22 years and which and I got sober because I like to get loaded.

And so now I can by swimming in cold water and nobody gets hurt. You're buzzing when you get out. It's a very special feeling. So I get it. I don't know how you... I would never say like, oh, you've got to try this. I would say if you enjoy swimming in the summer, just don't stop. Do you do cold showers every morning then? I do. I took a cold bath this morning. Why? Well, it's like an additional cup of coffee. It just...

Gets me going. I don't know. It makes me happy. How long did you stay in your bath for? Not just long enough to shampoo and condition. Wow. God almighty. There is good gloss on your hair. Maybe that's from the cold water. Jonathan Van Ness said to do a cold rinse at the end. So maybe you're onto something. Do your children swim?

Yes, they love the water. They're not old enough to swim in any of London's... I think the only place they'd be allowed would be like Parliament Hill, Lido. But yeah, they swim. They'll get in cold water. Yeah, they're great. And your wife, does she swim? She's a swimaholic. She was... A cold water swimaholic. Oh my goodness. How did you two meet?

We met at a camp for people with disabilities. We were camp counselors 20 years ago. Sweet. Yeah, at a camp in Massachusetts where I grew up and we were both counselors taking care of people with cerebral palsy and helping them surf and swim and all this stuff. So did you see her and you just thought, that's the girl that I need to be with? Or was it a summer of love? Well, it was such a great way to meet somebody because you kind of have to have...

some altruistic tendencies to be there because you're working for free, you know, volunteering. Oh, you don't get paid? No, you don't get paid. And then also it's the summer, so she was in a bikini often. So I can tell she's a good person and I can tell that I like what I see. And she's gorgeous. So, yeah, I very quickly fell irretrievably in love with her. And thank God she felt some version of the same way. Yeah, we've been together for 20 years. Is there a song from that summer that can bring you back to that kind of...

Yeah, there are a few. I would say probably the song of us meeting is a song called Hey by the Pixies. Okay. That's cool. Yeah, because it was 20 years ago, so I had one of the earlier iPods.

So it's not like today where you've got streaming and you're like, what do you want to listen to? Anything do you want to listen to? Do you want to listen to that Italian version of Let It Be played by the Brazilian guy on a marimba? You just had like 12 songs. And so we had our 12 or so songs. Had you finished university? Had you gone to university? Yes, I was 27 when we met and she was 24. So I just took a leave of absence from my job because I heard about this volunteer opportunity because a friend of mine had worked there.

and she was in the process of moving from Mississippi to Washington DC from one teaching job to another because she's a teacher. So we just kind of were there totally by chance. Were you acting by then? No. At that point, I am working in internet advertising. I have a day job that I loathe and I'm very bad at thinking like, "Hey, you want to be doing more comedy?"

In fact, we spoke about American health insurance earlier. I had to get a day job that provided health insurance as a benefit. So like a lot of Americans, I was kind of shackled to a job that I did not like. But then after a couple of years of marriage, I had the courage to be like...

I'm going to do it. Did you try and be really funny at the beginning of your relationship? Definitely. I mean, you are funny, obviously. But like, this is what's going to get the girl. Or were you like, no, I'm a stud. Like, that's going to work. I was trying to... I think I was employing humor as one of the tools to try to ensnare her. And so she's super, super funny. No, she is not a professional comedian, but she could be. She's...

She makes me laugh very hard all the time. And plus, we all know somebody who makes us laugh harder than, you know, a famous comedian. You know, be like, oh, my friend Dave is insane, you know, or Lucy. Yeah, she's like that. She's so funny and makes me laugh all the time. She sounds amazing. She does. Do you think you could ever write anything with your wife?

could do you know what I'll be honest I have a little I'm a little scared of that now she's super funny so could she write something amazing on her own yes have I written stuff that has been well received yes my parents did that and then they got divorced so obviously there are people who work together all the time and are happy so I know that that's possible but

But I have a slight phobia of that. And then also, it is kind of nice to separate church and state. You know what I mean? So I don't know. We should try it, though. For sure, we should. And just even for fun. Can we ask you what your last supper would be before you're going off to a desert island? Starter, Maine.

Pud, drink of choice. Oh, wow. I mean, there was a thing for a few anniversaries early in our marriage, my wife and I would go to Mastro's Steakhouse in Beverly Hills, California. And it is...

Classic Hollywood. You know, there's like a piano bar. You can make requests from the guy. How gorgeous. We would always get their ribeye, which was outrageous. For sure the best cut of meat I've ever had. So I would start with something like a simple...

Greek or Caesar salad and without any meat on it typically because I want to see how you do it. Maybe we can introduce meat later on subsequent visits but let's see how you're doing with the basics first. With the anchovy and the dressing. That would be a candidate. There's also a pizza place in Boston called Regina's

and their pizza is outrageous, that would be a candidate. What would be your topping? Or are you a purist on that? Would you just go Mark? No, in fact, if it were Regina's, I'd get the whole kitchen sink on it. I would get pepperoni, sausage, tomatoes, onions, peppers. And then for dessert, I mean, probably a key lime pie, which we mentioned earlier. That's just a good key lime pie because it's cold, you know.

And limey. Was the best key lime pie you had in Florida? Definitely for sure. Is it everywhere on every menu? Okay. And it's usually amazing. And do they differ? Yeah. Really? And drink of choice? All I drink these days is water.

Sparkling water and coffee, black coffee. So you just have straight black coffee? Espresso or? Usually I have an Americano. And then I drink hot coffee in the morning and then iced coffee in the afternoon.

Because I'm forcing you, I just grated an extra bit of chocolate on the top just because it's completely... And I know what you're going to say. I didn't clean. I gave him the cleanest. Okay, good. Good one. The presentation isn't fabulous. I think it looks fab, darling. This is made with olive oil and the olive oil comes from Skopelos. Amazing. Oh, here's a foodie thing we do. We have a Greek neighbor who her dad...

makes olive oil in Greece. So she takes orders every year and everybody gets a big, I don't know what you call it, small barrel. Yeah. That's big of olive oil. And I remember the first time she asked if I wanted to join the olive oil club. I said yes, to be polite. I am British now. And, but I was like, what the hell am I going to do? Anyway,

Having unlimited great olive oil has been such an improvement to our life. Because you know how before that we'd be like, oh, I don't know if I have enough left. Or I don't want to have to go out, so I'll just use a little. And now I'm just bathing in it. Huge improvement in my life. I want to be part of an olive oil club. I think Greek olive oil is amazing. It's very light. It's not strong flavor, I think. You have children and you are in Marvel, like Deadpool, right? Yeah.

When is the right time to introduce Marvel or Deadpool? Because I must be one of the only people that hasn't because I've been holding it back to watch it with my kids, which is probably quite stupid because I could just watch the film twice. But have your kids seen it? My older two have seen Deadpool. Now, I don't think an 11 and 13-year-old necessarily should see Deadpool and Wolverine because people explode in it. And they say...

The C word and stuff like that. So, 11s and 13s. The C word? I thought Americans didn't use that word. Yeah. Well, maybe because they filmed it here and Ryan's Canadian. Yeah, right. Or Hugh Jackman, as an Australian, must probably have insisted they use it or he wouldn't do the film. Okay, fine. Why do they use it? It's a great word. I hate it. It's my worst word. How do you feel about the word? I quite like it because it's just so percussive. Yes. And it's like...

Yeah. You know, you're like getting something out. So it helped. I find it helpful and soothing. The thing is, my kids kind of had to see it because I knew their peers would. And so I needed them to know why their friends were making fun of them, you know, about their dad. What's your character in it then? I play a guy named Peter who is a human friend of Deadpool's. So he's one of the few people, you know, prominently featured in the film who does not have any superpowers.

Were you a bit gutted about that? No, I love not having, because that makes you special in the world of Marvel. Yes, fair enough there. So I came into the movies in Deadpool 2 when Deadpool, played by Ryan Reynolds, was forming a team called the X-Force. And he just admired my character's chutzpah when I showed up and was like, yeah, I don't have any powers, I just thought it'd be fun. He's like, great, come on in. And so...

So then they brought my character back for this one. So incredible, incredible fun. Is he a lovely man? He really genuinely is. He's a kind Canadian guy and funny and fun and so hardworking. So a really wonderful sort of heart and engine to the whole thing. Yeah. And that's Sokka.

He does. Have you been there? I haven't. I should go. Do you like football? Yeah. Are you proper British now? I mean, here's the thing. I moved here too old. This is how I feel about when I go to a football match. I look down on the pitch and I go like, oh, everybody having fun? Great. Like I care about the Boston Red Sox baseball team, you know, and like try explaining that sport to somebody, you know, over 30. That sport's crazy. But since I grew up with it,

This is what I know. And so, yeah, I'm probably more involved. What about your children though? They're football madmen. Are you Arsenal? Yeah. Of course they are. Of course you are. Are you writing anything at the moment? Yes. Will we be able to see it soon? I hope so. I have one show I'm about to try and sell, but...

that I've just finished writing with a partner. And then I have another one. There's a network that has said, we like this pilot you've written. So I'm writing that actively right now. Will they be London-based? Hell yeah, I would never do anything else. Great. Will you star in them? Yeah. Anything I write, I put myself in. Because you need...

The juice... People don't care if you write or direct something in the real world. Everybody believes that actors make it up as they go and they don't know what a director or writer is. So since I'm not famous enough to not... I have to put myself in it so that I get more juice so that one day I can write something and not have to be in it. So I always put myself in it. Is that the ambition to...

Not necessarily. Do you have the option? I guess I would like to not have to be in it, you know, but as it stands now, sadly, I have to act in my own stuff. We're okay with that. And before we let you go... Oh, I've got to ask two more questions. Yeah, okay, go on. You go first. Which is your favorite restaurant in London? What sort of food do you like to eat? I know you like Caesar salad and steak. A restaurant that I like a lot that I will sometimes eat lunch out with my wife is called Cod. Cod?

on upper street. And what I like about it is it's, it's on the same street as Otto Lange, but it's cheaper and, and less crowded. Um,

And so there's like no pretension. Not that auto-language pretension is just the people who eat there are. I mean, it's great that he exists and does that. But when you go in there and look at the clientele, you're like, no thanks. So you go down to Cod, costs less money, absolutely just as good. And so you'll just have big bowls of beautiful meat and vegetables, very lovingly prepared. And you can take a few and sit down and eat it. Oh, that sounds great. Yeah. So that's my type of thing. Something that's like really nutritious, but also lovingly prepared. Yeah, I like that a lot.

And if we were coming over to you, you'd be making us chicken noodle soup? Very likely. Do you have dinner parties? Yeah. We had some friends over a couple nights ago. We were going to make pizza in our little pizza oven in the back garden, but the hose from the tank to the thing broke, so we couldn't. So my wife just whipped together an amazing salad and...

My 11-year-old son loves to make fried chicken, so he made some fried chicken salad. Oh, wow. How does he do it? How does he do it? He does breadcrumbs and cornflakes. Oh, yeah. Wow. Uses a little Bojangles spice. That's a North Carolina fried chicken restaurant chain that we go to when we're there. So, yeah. So, wound up having a lovely meal, despite the fact that our pizza oven didn't work.

Great. Can I ask you, before we let you go, what is a nostalgic taste that can transport you back somewhere happy or sad?

I would say a grapefruit, like sliced in half and eaten, or some blueberries. Those are like snacks my mom would give me when I was a kid, and they make me very happy. So those are quite... Grapefruit? Yeah. That's sophisticated for a child. It is a little weird. My kids like it too, though. Yeah, but I loved it. Was it a pink one or a ruby? Usually, not always. I like them both. Would she sprinkle sugar on it as well? She wouldn't. I only found out about that later in life. Yeah.

So now I find that's too decadent. I mean, come on. Rob, thank you so much for coming on. Thank you. It's really lovely to meet you. Great to meet you. Thank you so much for having me. Can't wait to watch the rest of Bad Monkey. Me too. I love it. But also just want to see more of your stuff too. Aw, thank you. Because honestly, it was just fabulous. You are brilliant. Oh, you guys are. Thank you. So yeah, thank you so much for being here. My sincere pleasure. Thank you.

Rob Delaney, potentially one of the most dishy men I've ever had lunch with. And he's shockingly handsome. Like, leading man handsome. Definitely. The salad was a crowd pleaser. Fabulous. Thank you, Nigel Slater. Gorgeous. That was really good. He likes salads as well. That's his favourite thing. Well, I mean, honestly, that was... We struck gold. Struck gold. Struck gold.

And he ate all the chocolate mousse. Because he had to. That was also delicious. Nigella. And the olive oil from Skopelos. You see, we bought Skopelos in two. You know what? I couldn't taste the olive oil in it, though. Of course you can't. No, but sometimes I quite... Maybe I would have liked... No. Maybe I should have drizzled a bit on the top. Anyway, thank you to Rob Delaney for coming on Bad Monkeys Out Now on Apple TV. And it's fabulous. It's really fun. It's dark. It's twisted. It's punchy.

So go and watch it. And whilst you're at it, I mean, you could just go onto Amazon or 4 On Demand and go and watch Catastrophe again. Yeah. Wonderful. I think I'm just going to do the Deadpools now, just so I can watch Rob Delaney. Thank you for listening. We'll be back next week.

You know, as a busy mom, there are lots of ways you can help yourself fall asleep. You could stare blankly at the ceiling and replay every conversation you've ever had, count sheep, have a debate with your pillow, give up caffeine, try acupuncture, and buy a weighted blanket that will make you sweat profusely. Or you could try some milk, which has nutrients that support healthy sleep. Visit gonnaneedmilk.com for more info. And for everyone's sake, please don't give up caffeine.

You know, as a busy mom, there are a few ways you can build strong muscles. You could get a gym membership, which you'll never use, buy all sorts of expensive equipment for your garage that you'll forget you have, pay for a personal trainer that you'll never have time to meet with, and buy a fitness watch that only makes you sad every time you look at it.

Or you could go for an easy run and try some milk, which helps build strong muscles. Visit goingto need milk.com for more info. And please don't make yourself sad.